If you could cast one spell IRL.

[MasterMercury]

Like the title suggests. If you could pick one spell to be able to cast cast in real life, what would you want?

Personally, I would kill for locate object. I'm terrible at finding things in my room, that spell would be a lifesaver.

[DarthPenance]

Is there a question?
Wish
If Wish is not available, Stop Time, because infinite time is fun

[Sianthus]

I'm assuming no Wish. And most definitely not wish simulacrum to any person posting after me, you hear me guys and gals? :P

Hm.. I'm thinking Glibness. That would be immensely useful to have in life.

[CaptAl]

Greater Restoration, hands down. I could help the world and make a bucket load of cash while doing so.

[Haldir]

Teleport. If you can't get everything else you might want with a teleport, you're not teleporting smart enough

[JakOfAllTirades]

Mass Suggestion would make my life a lot simpler.

[Deleted]

Teleport. If you can't get everything else you might want with a teleport, you're not teleporting smart enough

Governments, corporations, and not so nice people will want this when they figure out you have it.

Can you teleport away? Sure. Can you teleport everyone you know and love away fast enough? Maybe. Can you keep teleporting them around so that they aren't used against you? No. Eventually you will be caught and you won't exactly be free.

Teleportation is awesome, but not when others want to use you and have the power to do so.

You would need to be very very careful.

[Naanomi]

Governments, corporations, and not so nice people will want this when they figure out you have it.

Can you teleport away? Sure. Can you teleport everyone you know and love away fast enough? Maybe. Can you keep teleporting them around so that they aren't used against you? No. Eventually you will be caught and you won't exactly be free.

Teleportation is awesome, but not when others want to use you and have the power to do so.

You would need to be very very careful.
Same is true for virtually any magic of any caliber... resurrection, healing, invisibility, memory modification... the story is the same for all of them

[danpit2991]

when in doubt fireball!!!

[PhoenixPhyre]

Mage Hand.

The only superpower or related thing I've ever really wanted was enough telekinesis to hold a book, hold a pot while I'm scraping stuff out of it, turn off the light from across the room, etc. So, mage hand.

[Sigreid]

Greater Restoration, hands down. I could help the world and make a bucket load of cash while doing so.

This. Sports teams would pay a fortune for you to keep their players on the field, and the rest of the time you could help anyone you deem worthy (or at least not a total waste of skin and air).

[sir_argo]

My first thought was Unseen Servant. That would simplify life so much.

However, that's not "fun". So I think I might go with Fly.

[Deleted]

Same is true for virtually any magic of any caliber... resurrection, healing, invisibility, memory modification... the story is the same for all of them

Nah, some magic would be easy to hide.

Suggestion, for instance, doesn't really look like magic. There is nothing that is going to give it away.

Inflict wounds, going by what the SRD tells us, doesn't look like anything other than a touch (you could make it a punch, technically). This would look like you punched someone so hard they got really messed up. You just happen to make weird motions with your hands (which martial arts already do from time to time).

Tongues is a spell you could write off as you being super smart, no one would suspect "magic". Do you know how much money you could make with Tongues? You are the 100% best translator in the entire world!


There are tons of spells that you could easily get away with, but they are the less flashy spells and you would need to think of real life applications and not just D&D applications.

Detect Poison and Disease! I could totally see a few ways to make money with this spell... And people will just think you are really smart ;)

[BlackCoatedMan]

Plane Shift, so I go to another plane of existence where I can train to get the other spells to have fun with back at home.

[TheTeaMustFlow]

True Polymorph. Sure, I can't do that much with it on myself (given that my level/cr is presumably very low), but the possibilities for object into object and object into creature are endless.

[Gryndle]

Heal or greater restoration. Having been an EMT for 14 years, its the people I couldn't help that I remember.

[Naanomi]

Heal or greater restoration. Having been an EMT for 14 years, its the people I couldn't help that I remember.
Or heck just 'spare the dying', given that as a cantrip you can use it unlimitedly for foolproof stabilizations

[Sans.]

Death Pact? Summon Woodland Creatures? Animate Objects? Simulacrum? Heal? Teleport? So many...

[Deleted]

Heal or greater restoration. Having been an EMT for 14 years, its the people I couldn't help that I remember.

Eventually you are going to essentially "raise the dead" more or less and become target number one for a lot of people who know you have some sort of supernatural ability.

Which is why I went with "detect disease and poison" in my example, that blends in well enough that you wouldn't have to worry about people specifically realizing you are magical.

[CrazyCrab]

I'd have to go with Fabricate.

Just take a course in arts to gain the 'proficiency' in jewelry or something like that, become a master smith. Say that 'you must work alone' and nobody suspects a thing while you play video games.
You can just have a pile of materials in your backyard and make whatever you want on the spot. Practical, non-threatening, not obvious.

And if there is ever a zombie apocalypse (as someone else is bound to pick Animate Dead on these forums), I'll be the bloody messiah in a matter of hours, building bases out of rubble.

Fun stuff.

[Blue Lantern]

Wish, with that you include every spell up to 8th level, no string attached, what else would you want more?

Otherwise shapechange, would be loads of useful.

[pwykersotz]

True Polymorph. Sure, I can't do that much with it on myself (given that my level/cr is presumably very low), but the possibilities for object into object and object into creature are endless.

Heck, just transform bugs into cold hard cash. Claim the cash as gambling winnings, and go to enough casinos to sell the story. That sets you up to do just about anything after that.

Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion is a strong contender, even though it might not be a primary pick. You get an extradimensional house, furnished as you wish, complete with banquet and servants. Heck yes.
Fabricate is also neat, for much the same reason as True Poly. In some ways, it's even more versatile for daily use.
Meteor Swarm for those days when you are just fed up with that driver in front of you.

But yeah, the big ones have been mentioned by others. Wish, Heal, Teleport, Glibness, Greater Restoration, all strong choices.

[Anderlith]

If not Wish, then Resurrection or Greater Restoration

[sightlessrealit]

Ehhh, why not. Power Word Kill
In this world, being able to insta kill anyone (even as a single target) is still very powerful. You could be the greatest assassin who ever lived. Or you could use it for self defense.

[Lombra]

Prestidigitation: always clean and warm, food always tastes good, and tons of cash in Las Vegas at magic shows.

[Hathorym]

Tongues. Imagine how many conflicts could be avoided if there were no issues with translation.

[Deleted]

Tongues. Imagine how many conflicts could be avoided if there were no issues with translation.

Not very many as this is 2017 and translation isn't a primary issue to causing conflicts.

[tkuremento]

Not very many as this is 2017 and translation isn't a primary issue to causing conflicts.

What matters now is semantics, as even if people are speaking the same language they might be using different meanings of a word or the word isn't specific enough. If someone is mad they could be just a bit perturbed or they could be fuming, but without specifying there is a lot of misconception. So really it depends on if Tongues allows for semantics or not for PERFECT understanding or simply understanding of a language.

[sir_argo]

I'm really surprised nobody has said Clone yet. In D&D 5e, the spell transfers the soul to the new body, so it isn't like you're dying and someone else takes your place. It is you. With Clone, you can come back as a younger version of yourself, and essentially live forever.

[NecroDancer]

I'd take regenerate hands down. I could survive any non fatal wound and with a surgeon who asks no questions I could have a bunch of dead limbs of mine to use for pranks.

[Hathorym]

Not very many as this is 2017 and translation isn't a primary issue to causing conflicts.
Really? 'Cause I don't understand a thing coming out of our government lately. 😁

[GorinichSerpant]

If there was a way in which it wouldn't cause trouble, I would pick Minor Illusion. There are a ton of situations where describing things would be so much easier if I could talk in images, like giving directions, or asking about people who I don't know be name.

[Madbox]

Detect thoughts. I could get so much use out of that one spell. Plus, since almost no adult believes in magic IRL, the whole "They know you read their mind if you delve deeper" thing is moot. They just look crazy and paranoid if they freak out.

[Citan]

Hi!

If big spells are allowed, I would hesitate between Clone and Control Weather.

The former would give me near-immortality, so I would have all the time needed to amass an immense knowledge that would, maybe, lead to a viable solution to many of our world problems...

The latter would be much more simple and directly efficient: try and resolve the global dryout problem by conjuring rain cloud in desertic areas... :)

Otherwise, for myself, Polymorph: simple, elegant, versatile. ^^
For others, Purify Food and Drink: "rituals" means you can spend your whole day using it continuously, and even 5 feet sphere when multiplied by 100 times begins to make a more than decent amount of nourishment. Considering how many rivers/soils nowadays are polluted, sadly, this could help greatly. :)

[Honest Tiefling]

Not very many as this is 2017 and translation isn't a primary issue to causing conflicts.

But imagine work on a smaller scale, where you have to work with people who don't speak English. I've heard of cases of the Peace Corps training people in the wrong language, either to an error or because they didn't have a way to train in the right one. It isn't politics, but getting someone in a remote area to understand you would be quite helpful for certain people.

I was going to say Resurrection or Greater Restoration, but then I remembered I have no training in armor, so I am probably not a level 1 cleric. I am also not going to roll the dice on if I can actually tap into divine power, so I'm going to say...Unseen servant. I am pretty lazy, after all.

[xyianth]

I'd choose Hallow. You get tongues, silence, fear, daylight, darkness, and magic circle all in 1 spell. Plus absolute protection against the inevitable undead apocalypse by someone's animate/create undead choice.

[Talionis]

Wish, but again it should be everyone's first choice. Clone is my second choice, its immortality and being young. As you get older being young is more important. All the healing spells would be great choices.


For fun Fly would be fun Telekinesis might be close enough.

Cantrips are a good idea. I'm not sure Guidance wouldn't be a good choice. It would never appear magical and would be useful in lots of different everyday life situations.

[tkuremento]

I'd choose Hallow. You get tongues, silence, fear, daylight, darkness, and magic circle all in 1 spell. Plus absolute protection against the inevitable undead apocalypse by someone's animate/create undead choice.

I choose Finger of Death, to give you hope :smallwink:

More seriously though, I'd probably pick Thaumaturgy so I could pretend to be a servant of whatever god I want and make people listen to me based on faith. It also means those who are so close to faith might follow me.

[Hrugner]

wish aside...

Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion. 100 unseen servants, food for 100 people, impervious invisible stronghold and it last forever. Sure, I'd just use it to feed and house 100 of my closest friends, and I'm assuming I can get internet via "furniture", but couch coop would probably be fine anyway.

I could vacation in places that needed the help and maybe help people too, but that would get weird quick. 100 is too few to really matter, even feeding 1 person only one course is a drop in the bucket. Maybe using creation to make a 5ft cube of an all in one food of some sort would work.

I suppose I'm down to fabricate, MMM and creation.

[Potato_Priest]

Teleport!

Leave stuff at home, at work, in another country, just pop back and grab it.

[Draco4472]

True Polymorph

What better way of 'convincing' others then turning into a dragon? or them into a toad?

[Celcey]

Mass healing of any sort would be great, or a resurrection or clone. Bu the most useful to me personally would be mending. Holy cow, mending all day long. You could make tons of money fixing people's stuff on the cheap, and never have to worry about a broken anything ever again.

[furby076]

Charm person, suggestion, memory modification, dominate..... control the minds of people, subtly and rule the world

[tkuremento]

Mass healing of any sort would be great, or a resurrection or clone. Bu the most useful to me personally would be mending. Holy cow, mending all day long. You could make tons of money fixing people's stuff on the cheap, and never have to worry about a broken anything ever again.

Please, cast your Mending on the USA.

[Arkhios]

I would Wish all terrorists and tyrants, and idiotic politicians (all of them?) to the oblivion.

[Kane0]

True polymorph, open up a small, cheap 'plastic surgery' clinic. With enough practice i should even be able to 'cure' quite a few conditions. Cosmetic changes free of charge for friends and family.
If in need of cash, polymorph insects into stuff i can sell.
If threatened, turn myself or a friend into something nasty or the enemy into something harmless.

[rollingForInit]

Greater Restoration, hands down. I could help the world and make a bucket load of cash while doing so.

Wouldn't Lesser Restoration be better in that regard? Since Lesser cures diseases, poisons, paralyzation ... whereas Greater focuses more on effects caused by magic, or removes exhaustion.

Personally I'd go with Heal, Mordenkainen's Magical Mansion ... or a cantrip like Prestidigitation. Depends a bit on how often I could cast the spell. Heal feels like the best for when it's needed, just cure any injuries or diseases. Magical Mansion for enormous comfort and guaranteed food. But something like Prestidigitation or Mending would just be very great for everyday use.

[Logosloki]

I suppose it depends on a few things.

One Chance: True Polymorph
Count as a level one character: Druidcraft
Unlimited spell works: Teleport
Slots matter: Comprehend languages or Commune with Nature
Slots matter but you're a ritual caster: Underwater breathing

Unseen servant and tongues are honourable mentions. Hallow almost made the list but it has a 24 hour cast time.

[Steampunkette]

Prestidigitation.

You guys are going for spells that are high level so you can cast them once a day. Screw that. I'll do Presti all day and night.

Instantly clean objects or parts of objects. Need to wash a car? 2 minutes of wiggling my fingers and it's freaking spotless.

Lost in the wilderness? BOOM. Campfire is lit, doesn't matter how wet the tinder is.

Creating nonmagical small items? Fork, Spoon, Glasses Screwdriver. Whatever tiny tool you need to deal with the situation. Maybe a key?

Doing some crafts? Mark your measurements without marking the object in a permanent fashion. Need a post-it note? Bam: Write on your desk for one hour.

Harmless Sensory effects, tiny illusions, the whole nine yards.

Give me Prestidigitation any day of the week. It wouldn't draw too much government interest, it would make me an awesome stage magician, and it would make day to day life just a tiny bit easier in myriad ways.

[TheTeaMustFlow]

Prestidigitation.

You guys are going for spells that are high level so you can cast them once a day. Screw that. I'll do Presti all day and night.

Instantly clean objects or parts of objects. Need to wash a car? 2 minutes of wiggling my fingers and it's freaking spotless.

Lost in the wilderness? BOOM. Campfire is lit, doesn't matter how wet the tinder is.

Creating nonmagical small items? Fork, Spoon, Glasses Screwdriver. Whatever tiny tool you need to deal with the situation. Maybe a key?

Doing some crafts? Mark your measurements without marking the object in a permanent fashion. Need a post-it note? Bam: Write on your desk for one hour.

Harmless Sensory effects, tiny illusions, the whole nine yards.

Give me Prestidigitation any day of the week. It wouldn't draw too much government interest, it would make me an awesome stage magician, and it would make day to day life just a tiny bit easier in myriad ways.

Presti might be a nice pick, but, uh, do we know we'll only be able to cast it once a day? I mean, OP didn't say anything to that effect. I agree that it might be a sensible limitation to consider, but it's not actually stated in the question - we could be just getting it as at-will innate spellcasting. This also raises the question of casting limits for people who took low level spells.

Incidentally, while True Polymorph almost certainly does not allow one to turn into a dragon (sorry Draco4472), given that we have no level and either challenge rating or a presumably fairly low one*, it does allow one indirect access to a lot more spells via creature to object.

[gfishfunk]

Fire Shield: it has self-defense purposes. It keeps me warm when its cold out, and cool when its hot out.

[Dudu]

Heroic Feast so I could eat like a god everyday.

[MasterMercury]

Shocking Grasp, then make a battery to hold the charge. Free electricity.

I'm surprised no one has gone the "Eltritch Blast Super Hero" route.

[Bahamut7]

Prestidigitation.

You guys are going for spells that are high level so you can cast them once a day. Screw that. I'll do Presti all day and night.

Instantly clean objects or parts of objects. Need to wash a car? 2 minutes of wiggling my fingers and it's freaking spotless.

Lost in the wilderness? BOOM. Campfire is lit, doesn't matter how wet the tinder is.

Creating nonmagical small items? Fork, Spoon, Glasses Screwdriver. Whatever tiny tool you need to deal with the situation. Maybe a key?

Doing some crafts? Mark your measurements without marking the object in a permanent fashion. Need a post-it note? Bam: Write on your desk for one hour.

Harmless Sensory effects, tiny illusions, the whole nine yards.

Give me Prestidigitation any day of the week. It wouldn't draw too much government interest, it would make me an awesome stage magician, and it would make day to day life just a tiny bit easier in myriad ways.

Assuming it is a cantrip then this all day!

[gfishfunk]

Actually: the guidance cantrip would be cool. You could set yourself up as a detective: find anything! After you locate some dead bodies, you slowly build credibility.

[RulesJD]

Pretty much the undisputed top list, in order:

1. Wish (obvi)

2. Clone (obvi)

3. True Polymorph (depending on what forms would be available, but would give access to other spells.)

4. Magic Jar (effectively immortal again and allows huge leaps in power by taking over a brazillionare etc)

5. Sequester (effectively immortal again)

6. Lesser Resto (obvi)

7. Teleportation Circle (congrats, unlocked unlimited monies and effectively space travel)

[RumoCrytuf]

As has been said by so many, Clone. (We assume Wish and Limited Wish (for older players) are barred.

Why? Because I will never live long enough in one lifetime to do what I want to do. I would be willing to do almost anything to live for the next conceivable forever.

Now, I would be willing to take Wish under the condition I can only use it to cast Clone. That seems relatively reasonable, don't you think?


Shocking Grasp, then make a battery to hold the charge. Free electricity.

I'm surprised no one has gone the "Eldritch Blast Super Hero" route.

I would imagine heroics would draw a lot of attention really quickly. I would also imagine most people would like to be discreet with their magic so as not to draw the attention of higher powers. (The whole people fear what they can't control thing.)

[KorvinStarmast]

Greater Restoration. Know a lot of disabled vets.

[GPS]

Either True Polymorph (because who wouldn't want to be a dragon) or Spare the Dying (Because the ability to stabilize anyone who's about to die seems like it would attract less attention than GR)

[mgshamster]

I would pick heal or lesser restoration.

And no, I don't really care if the government wanted my services. I'd gladly give it. I already volunteered for the army and nearly sacrificed my life for my country - why the hell wouldn't I do it again? Especially considering that last time it was my job to kill people, and this time I would be saving people.

[mgshamster]

I would Wish all terrorists and tyrants, and idiotic politicians (all of them?) to the oblivion.

The ones who have a background in comedy tend to be pretty decent. Leave those ones.