Internet in Hell

[Schattenbach]

... besides all those implications that come along with that (and really ... why would Devils ever pass up on the chance to connect the Internet to Hell ... even Devils can get bored and corrupting mortals through the internet is so much easier as well) aside for now to some degree (its perfectly fine to discuss some of the rolelay implications or what devils might do with that internet access, but that's secondary until the main issue of connecting the internet to hell in the first place) ... in what ways could Hell (or any other sufficiently wealthy organisation) connect its plane to the internet (or other information/communication networks) on the material plane?

As Hell itself is both rich and epic, all reasonable epic options (epic spells, epic magic items, etc.) that involve costs below 20,000,000gp (as this has to consider reconnecting to the internet after pesky mortals quest to Hell to cut the connection, so the budget is slightly tight) per 10 years of internet connection are deemed viable to try to accomplish this task.

So ... someone some helpful suggestions or inspirations about this issue?

Thanks in advance.

[noob]

Build a gate(magic item) then connect computers from hell to computers from material world.
Or just go on the material plane.

[Segev]

A permanent gate would work to run lines.

You could probably make a custom magic item of sending that transmits packets from one plane to another in real time.

[khadgar567]

depends on your time frame and strain cuz if we have starfinder available plane of internet is basicly there just pop material plane and install your self a mental jack and you can probably access it in any plane long as you have good signal( starfinder basicly has starwars and shadowrun material absorbed which includes both holo net and matrix 2.0)

[Telonius]

and really ... why would Devils ever pass up on the chance to connect the Internet to Hell ... .

It's possible they looked at the second page of Google Image results and figured there was nothing left for them to accomplish.

[Inevitability]

...This is Red Fel's backstory, isn't it?

[noob]

...This is Red Fel's backstory, isn't it?
No red fel backstory is how he create the hell from internet.

[Khedrac]

1. Set up a permanent pair of scrying portals linked to each other (i.e. a window between the two planes.
2. Use some very careful alignment to set up an optical link acrosss the window.
3. If necessary enclose the entire setup (on the Hell side) in a Faraday cage to protect from stray discharges.

(This solution, or one very like it, is used to get the internet to the realms of Faerie in one of Mercedes Lackey's Eric Banyon novels - probably Music to My Sorrow.)

[noob]

Do you have a magic item who does a scrying portal in dnd?

[TheIronGolem]

You could probably make a custom magic item of sending that transmits packets from one plane to another in real time.

Yeah, but 25 words/round it'll take forever to download those naughty Celestial pics.

On a related note, I've wondered if you could create "computers" and networks out of Commoner Railguns. That seems a fitting task for the low-level denizens of Hell: "Stand here for eternity taking wooden rods from this guy on your left and handing them to that guy on your right"

[noob]

Yes you can but you can also make a computer out of transistor and diodes but the advantage of the commoner computer is his infinite calculations per second(also do it with words it is much more efficient)

[Segev]

Yeah, but 25 words/round it'll take forever to download those naughty Celestial pics.That's why you use a continuous rather than command-activated item. Sending only limits to 25 words/casting. If it's use-activated/continuous, it can be "cast" as often as needed to keep it going. Not just once per round.


On a related note, I've wondered if you could create "computers" and networks out of Commoner Railguns. That seems a fitting task for the low-level denizens of Hell: "Stand here for eternity taking wooden rods from this guy on your left and handing them to that guy on your right"

I think that would only solve the bus transmission delay problem. Actually stopping to think about what instructions to follow in terms of to whom to pass the stick based on the state of the stick and your own state probably starts to be a swift, if not a move or standard action.

[Red Fel]

...This is Red Fel's backstory, isn't it?


No red fel backstory is how he create the hell from internet.

You're both wrong, actually - my backstory is how I convinced Hell to use a few choice mortal contacts to create a continuous invocation cycle out of a sequence of 1s and 0s which would ultimately manifest the Pit in the real world. It's going swimmingly, by the way, and thank you all for your help.

Have you ever seen a Prayer Wheel (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prayer_wheel)? The basic premise is that it's a rotating cylinder on an axle, inscribed with holy text, and that spinning it has the same spiritual effect as reciting the prayers aloud.

Hell creating an Internet works exactly like that. Hell simply contributes to the creation of a system - any system, it can be as simple as a series of interlinked crystal balls a la Palantiri (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palant%C3%ADr) - that enables people to communicate and share ideas and images across vast distances. Provide the resources to enable broad swathes of the population to have access to these technomagical marvels. Ensure that they are propagated widely, because after all, they're just so darn useful, and simple enough that anyone can get it to work. Even your crotchety old grandpa.

Each one is activated with a mechanically simple method - say, pressing a palm to the podium or something - which automagically triggers the activating sequence of spells. And one of these spells simply happens to be a deep-coded invocation spell which brings the Hells just a teensy bit closer to the Prime Material. Allows just a teensy bit of Hellish influence into the world generally, and the user specifically. Just a touch, mind you.

You wouldn't even require a direct connection. In fact, it would be ill-advised. The less the Hells have to do with this system directly, the better. It's practically a fire-and-forget setup. The magic involved is so pronounced and elaborate that a single thread of spellwork at the lowest level, barely touching on the Hells, wouldn't come up on anyone's magical radar. Just let everyone else do the work for you.

[ATHATH]

@Red Fel: That reminds me of the highway system that Crowley set up in that one Terry Pratchet book (whose name I forget) that he co-authored with someone else. Was that plan at all inspired by it?

[Red Fel]

@Red Fel: That reminds me of the highway system that Crowley set up in that one Terry Pratchet book (whose name I forget) that he co-authored with someone else. Was that plan at all inspired by it?

Honestly, it occurred to me while I was writing. I was halfway into the third paragraph when I thought to myself, "Hey, isn't this like that one aside in Good Omens?" At which point I thought, who cares, I'm Evil, and just ran with it.

[dhasenan]

Yeah, but 25 words/round it'll take forever to download those naughty Celestial pics.

Use a computer architecture with 1KB words and you get dialup speeds. And a host of other problems, but hey, you can now have more RAM than the universe now.