Describe your job using D&D Terms

[Lost_Nomad]

I was thinking about this today, I'll go first

My job is basically being the only Human Cleric in a party of 15 Halfling Barbarians

Any Ideas??



it's Early Childhood Education (Childcare)

I'd love to hear yours

[Randomthom]

I am a wizard and an artificer (IT Technician). I perform magic that few understand to make my contraptions (computers) work that the idiot dwarves (students) and humans (teachers) may continue to use what they do not comprehend.

"Have you tried interrupting the connection between the machine and the weave temporarily?"

[NiklasWB]

I'm a rules lawyer!!!

Well... regular lawyer IRL.

In character class terms, I'd say I'm likely a Paladin. Filing oppositions and writing cease-and-desist letters (er... smiting evildoers!), with my Oath of upholding and protecting Intellectual Property! My firm is my Order, and my enemies are not dissimilar to undead... zombies (unaware infringing parties) or vampires (aware and malicious infringing parties).

[Dromuthra]

I'm currently an apprentice to a collective of powerful wizards and bards, and will be choosing my arcane school focus next fall.

I'm an undergrad graduating this semester and starting law school in the fall.

[Hrugner]

I'm a tavern wizard. I mostly find work for other people.

[The_Weirdo]

Bard that casts spells off INT. (Translator)

[rollingForInit]

I'm a Divination Wizard, casting spells to help monarch keep track of the businesses and merchants in the kingdom. If something goes wrong, I find it and fix it. If the monarch wants a rare item, I find it and bring it to them. And none outside my esoteric order of merchant wizards understand how to do this.

(Software developer working on an e-commerce system)

[Sirdar]

I took a lot of levels in Lore Mastery Wizard but got quite burned and decided to dip Warlock for a couple of years. Now I'm trying to go back to the Lore Mastery, but perhaps I'm just taking levels in Arcane Trickster...

Didn't get any Eldritch Blast from that Warlock dip either! :smallconfused:

PhD in Mathematics followed by a couple of 'easy years' working for different insurance companies. Now I'm working at a research institute with various applied research projects.

[Prince Zahn]

I would say I was a wizard, or sorcerer, but there is nothing magical about what i do.

I am a LN Rogue guild merchant/slave who is trained in perception, investigation, insight... The works. My job is to stand idly by the gate and smile, whilst trying to guile my safety while the savage monsters pillage my castle and leave with the potions and other spoils of war. When they get angry, I call my masters, who usually take the monsters side over mine.

(guessed it yet? I am a lowly cashier at a Corporate pharmacy/department store chain).

[Callin]

I get sent by Quest Givers to make sure the Quest was completted after the PC says its done. Every now and then I get my own Quest.

(I audit and perform store resets)

[DarthPenance]

A wizard ever searching for more knowledge to understand the world better (Student)

[DragonBaneDM]

I think I'm some sort of weird Druid or Ranger/Lore Bard combination?

I work for a natural history museum as an outreach educator. Some of the programs I have deal with rocks and Egypt, but most of them deal with live animals that I take out to schools and libraries.

Man, my player really should have multiclassed better.

[Ninja_Prawn]

As an engineer working in construction, there isn't really any PC class or background that represents what I do. The closest thing is being a DM: I have to control and manage information, check that people are doing what they're supposed to be doing, make sure that the numbers add up behind the scenes... not the sorts of things PCs have to worry about.

I guess you could make an argument for Ranger, because I spend most of my time on wild and inhospitable building sites, making them safe for ordinary people to occupy... but it's a tenuous link and most of the work I do is one step removed from that sort of thing. As for my actual background, that is definitely Sage.

[Naanomi]

I'm probably a mid-level Lore Bard trying to keep a big low level party (who all made unusual builds with weird dump stat choices) from derailing the adventure; and doing way more PvP grappling than I am optimized for

(Highschool special ed teacher, specializing in aggressive behavior and ASD)

[Sirdar]

Man, my player really should have multiclassed better.

:smallsmile: Haha, yeah I know what you mean. I'm happy that my player isn't a munchkin, but he has no clue how to multiclass efficiently! I want Haste and Action Surge you bastard! And raise that Charisma as soon as you get an ASI. Do you hear me!?

[Aett_Thorn]

I'm a Wizard trying to turn people who are naturally inclined to be Fighters into Druids.

(I create environmental and energy policy for various military branches)

[Joe the Rat]

As an engineer working in construction, there isn't really any PC class that represents what I do. The closest thing is being a DM: I have to control and manage information, check that people are doing what they're supposed to be doing, make sure that the numbers add up behind the scenes... not the sorts of things PCs have to worry about.

I guess you could make an argument for Ranger, because I spend most of my time on wild and inhospitable building sites, making them safe for ordinary people to occupy... but it's a tenuous link and most of the work I do is one step removed from that sort of thing.Guild Artisan (Building Construction)? Don't forget about those Backgrounds, folks!

[JellyPooga]

Hmm...tricky one.

Race: Standard Human - I'm generally good at "stuff" and I'm not multilingual.

Background: Urchin - I'm city-bred and always know the quickest way across town. I also know my way around a lock (it was a hobby, ok) and one of my nick-names is "silent Sam".

Class: (Probably) Bard - I'm a bit of a Jack-of-all-Trades, I'm not really much of a fighter and I am proficient with several musical instruments. Skill profs in Religion (I studied Philosophy at Uni), Animal Handling (I worked a farm for a few years) and Insight (just 'cos I kinda am). My "spells" are likely understated; Cantrips - True Strike, Mending, 1st - Animal Friendship, Identify, Longstrider and...I don't know, Detect Magic maybe?

My RL profession? I'm a chef. Go figure; no-one said your Class had to be anything to do with your job!

[erok0809]

I'm an Alchemist Artificer, although I'm currently only training with some of the better ones to finally get my advanced artificer's license, which will show that I know not just how to make the same alchemical concoctions as everyone else, but how to start making my own.

I'm a Ph. D. student in Chemical Engineering, although my specific research is pretty close to Materials Science. I'm trying to eventually become a researcher somewhere.

[Lavok Rammstein]

I am a wizard and an artificer (IT Technician). I perform magic that few understand to make my contraptions (computers) work that the idiot dwarves (students) and humans (teachers) may continue to use what they do not comprehend.

"Have you tried interrupting the connection between the machine and the weave temporarily?"

Exactly the same.

[Lance Tankmen]

im the NPC guard at the gate that welcomes you to the city , and if any real threat occurred would likely die first.

[SaintRidley]

I'm currently an apprentice to a collective of powerful wizards and bards, and will be choosing my arcane school focus next fall.

I'm an undergrad graduating this semester and starting law school in the fall.

Along the same lines, I'm a wizard/bard teaching apprentices in order to prove myself worthy of being granted a permanent gig training apprentices.

PhD/MFA working on my diss and thesis while teaching undergrads.

[Georlik]

I'm a cleric of diety of Flight and Protection (Bahamut?).
Generally I try to appease dragons so they won't eat you mid-flight. Or at least feel apologetic if they do so.
Gross negligence or willful misconduct of the rider excluded.

(Aviation insurance broker)

[Waterdeep Merch]

I'm a divination wizard working for a guild that helps the sickly get in contact with level appropriate clerics. I watch as my skill monkey bard party member works probably ten times harder than I do at the same job, while I handle scrying for our charisma-focused rogues out on their scouting missions.

[Laserlight]

I'm retired, so I'm an NPC. Before that, I was....also an NPC. Technical sales and support, so that's a high INT with some Lore skills, and an average CHA with training in Persuasion. Now I give out quests like "I will pay your party 180 silver pieces for you to find and bring to me...( dramatic music) new quartz countertops! And I will pay an additional 8 silver pieces for you to reconnect the plumbing under the sink."

[Finlam]

I'm definitely a rogue. I interface with magic that I do not understand on a daily basis and have successfully convinced everyone that I'm a wizard. Who knows exactly what's he's doing. Thanks to the Lucky feat I always manage to deliver, but damn if I'm not winging it 85% of the time.

[Specter]

I attempt an Intelligence (Persuasion) check against many people. If I succeed, they'll buy my client's goods.

Advertiser

[rip_you_anubis]

My job is a delivery quest for pizza artifacts.

[2D8HP]

Race: Standard Human -
-I'm pretty average in most ways.

Background: Guild Artisan, -
-I'm a dues paying Journeyman craft union member.

Class: Fighter/Rogue? -
-Strength based struggle is involved, and so are skills, and I'm a terrible musician so not a Bard!

RL profession: Plumber for the City and County of San Francisco.
Some of my work yesterday involved repairing a Probation Department toilet that needed a new foot pedal bushing spring (exposes handle spring is a quick job, concelled in-wall takes me much longer), unclogging multiple drains in the Jail (the inmates hiding their alcohol making attempts causes a lot of the clogs), and I ended my day unclogging a drain in the Autopsy Room (yes they were dead bodies in there, and yes the smell seems awful, but that may be psychological).

[BladedWizard]

I'm a Fiend Patron Warlock with proficiencies in Perception, Insight, Investigation, Persuasion and in Stealth when I want to take an extra break :smallbiggrin:

I'm a Food Processing Specialist Inspector that work for the Government.

[pwykersotz]

Mastermind Rogue.

I work in networking, and divining the secrets of other departments and their inner workings and then influencing them while still disarming the traps of my own area is a big deal.

[xroads]

I'm a divination specialist wizard. I spend much of my time facilitating mystical communication systems for heroes who have been wounded.

I'm a web developer who spends a lot of time reviewing electronic documentation to make sure it passes WCAG 2.0 (Accessibility) standards.

[Corsair14]

I am a wizard or artificer that helps people communicate over long distances. IRL I work in land mobile radio and make things go workie workie.

[KorvinStarmast]

I'm that NPC sitting in the Tavern with some lore, rumors or news for the party. Used to be a griffon rider, but have been put out to pasture due to injuries sustained in service to the local monarch.

[Naanomi]

I'm that NPC sitting in the Tavern with some lore, rumors or news for the party. Used to be a griffon rider, but have been put out to pasture due to injuries sustained in service to the local monarch.
My partner has a similar backstory I think, working for the same monarch but she worked in the 'undersea combat' division. She stopped after losing too much constitution to the 'wild magic accidents' that plague undersea combat sometimes. She's trying to make a go of it again as a Diviner Wizard specializing in long-range communication but is still pretty low level, and the low constitution makes adventuring difficult

[Camman1984]

I am Camman, chief alchemist and holder of the key to the cabinet of exalted concoctions. I have the knowledge skills to decipher the secret and complicated script of the the healers. I use my sense motive to determine whether the tattooed monk really wants the ancient Cream of Ame'top for his elderly mum or for some nefarious scheme. I use my charisma checks to convince guests in my alchemists cave that it was the healer that made the error and not I.

I am a pharmacist working in the community :)

[Quoxis]

Difficult, but i'd say mostly lore bard with expertise in persuasion, deception, medicine and investigation, the healer feat and spells meant to restore hp and the "status quo" as well as buff people who get sent to me by the great healing clerics. I also support noob PCs with levelling correctly.
I use my medical knowledge and persuasion skill to make people trust me and my deception skill in case i don't know something, but i'm lawful good and treat everyone as good as i can.

I'm an occupational therapist specialized in physical rehabilitation and children.

[Naanomi]

I'm an occupational therapist specialized in physical rehabilitation and children.
You do the important job of guiding character creation so that people don't dump-stat important physical traits, a vital job! (I wish my school had more OT support)

[KorvinStarmast]

My partner has a similar backstory I think, working for the same monarch but she worked in the 'undersea combat' division. She stopped after losing too much constitution to the 'wild magic accidents' that plague undersea combat sometimes. Did she have a cool shark to ride, like Lien does? :smallbiggrin:

[Fishyninja]

I am a Artificer Gunsmith, Bard, Alchemist.

I make stuff, I sell stuf,, and normally the stuff I make explodes.

Ballistic Support Engineer.

[Naanomi]

Did she have a cool shark to ride, like Lien does? :smallbiggrin:
*struggles to keep metaphor straight* Um... no, she helped keep the magical fires burning that kept the magical whale swimming, probably the same type of whale that your griffons used to nest on; though occasionally she also created similar flames in the bellies of the secret unnamable horrors that swim deep beneath the surface. Had to quit when the wild-magic involved in keeping those fires trapped got out of control

[Quoxis]

You do the important job of guiding character creation so that people don't dump-stat important physical traits, a vital job! (I wish my school had more OT support)

The children part is more like "i help people reroll their 6 in Wisdom/Strength/Dexterity/Intelligence into at least 8-10 or otherwise help them deal with their dump stats like giving proficiency in perception to counter bad Wis stat" or something. It's nothing exceptional really.

[Scathain]

This is fun! Out of my regular dnd group, I'm training to be a rules lawyer (paralegal), but am a part time supervisor at a very popular halfling tavern and horse track (arcade / go-kart track).
My closest friend is the best bar wench this side of Georgia (bartender).
And the new guy, well he's an undeclared wizard at the local mage college (undeclared undergrad).

[Draco4472]

Currently trying to gain my first level in Bard (Student leaning towards a career in journalism) and in my free time, I work on gaining fighter levels (I fence).

[Gryndle]

I was multiclassed-
For 30+years I was both a student and eventually teacher of various martial arts, and specialized in teaching practical self-defense to women, children and law enforcement. So a few levels in Monk (Open Hand)

My day job was pretty easy translation though. I was a ranger. As in I was a Park Ranger/EMT responsible for the safety and security of our nations largest natural-habitat zoo and a few thousand acres of nature preserve. I liked to remind my team that our job was "to protect the park from the people and to protect the people from the park".

unfortunately now, whatever class I am, I am under a curse. no longer work, or teach due to ongoing disability

[Bahamut7]

I am a V-Human Roguish Artificer of House Lyrandar with Resiliency. My main tasks are testing and repairing components for the Airships we sell. My ability to learn quickly, wield a variety of skills, proficiency with firearms and daggers, and the ability to be quite precise make me reliable and quite adept at blending. I am also, training myself in the arts of Conjuration but blending with Divination.

Most of my time is spent in the forge with the Airship parts while my other time is used to hone my own crafts and business opportunities. Eventually, I will otherwise rise in the ranks of the House or branch off onto my own.

(Electronics Test technician for Aircraft, with many different types of hobbies that may lead to profit)

[Laurefindel]

I'm the spellcaster (sage background) who actually casts spells while the bards spend their actions performing on the stage (I'm a stage technician/lighting designer-operator/sound engineer)

[KorvinStarmast]

*struggles to keep metaphor straight* Um... no, she helped keep the magical fires burning that kept the magical whale swimming, probably the same type of whale that your griffons used to nest on; though occasionally she also created similar flames in the bellies of the secret unnamable horrors that swim deep beneath the surface. Had to quit when the wild-magic involved in keeping those fires trapped got out of control Oh dear, the dreaded rem plague! :smalleek: (Personally, I blame the dread lich Rickov, who was banished from this plane a few decades ago, though his minions strive to keep his empire flourishing ... I was once fixed in the liche's icy glare ... to misquote Brando from Apocalypse Now ... the horror, the horror!)

[Dappershire]

Ummm, Cavalry Knight? Sounds about rightish.

Edit: On further thought, while correct, Dragoon would be more appropriate. Ive never shot -from- the vehicle, unlike the badarses.

[razorback]

I am a multiclass Factotum/Monk. I carry around bits of knowledge and skills over a wide array of topics and called upon to provide for information and advice to the royalty while also training and providing training in various ways of combat both armed and unarmed.


I'm a program manager and one of the longest employees at this company who knows all the ins and out of how to keep the business running and customers happy. When I'm not doing that or being dad, I also teach martial arts.

Man, not a ton of synergy and MAD as hell.

[Sigreid]

Rogue charleton. I get assigned tasks by the nobility and con the pedantry into doing the work, taking a nice comission and accolades for myself.

If you didn't guess I'm a project manager for a large company.

[Naanomi]

Oh dear, the dreaded rem plague! :smalleek: (Personally, I blame the dread lich Rickov, who was banished from this plane a few decades ago, though his minions strive to keep his empire flourishing ... I was once fixed in the liche's icy glare ... to misquote Brando from Apocalypse Now ... the horror, the horror!)
In all fairness, she speaks pretty highly of the lich. She may have even been a Warlock with him as her Undying Patron? In any case she lost the class levels after the wild magic accident

[LordNibbler]

Many levels of Life Cleric with a few of Rogue (need expertise, fast hands). If things go bad, I turn to my one level of Warlock to entreat my patron to intervene.


Surgeon.

[GlenSmash!]

I'm a Ranger with Favored Enemy (Bugs). No not an exterminator, Software QA.

[Corran]

I guess I always knew I had an aptitude for magic (mathematics). Still, being a bard (magic and music mesh together really well, or so I keep hearing), means that nothing is set and stone, as it is perhaps the most versatile class in the game. And thus my plans for my future build were numerous and changed many times as I was growing up. Unlike most bards that want to stay true to their art, I entertained the idea of heavily investing in the paladin class, so that I could cap my performance and persuasion skills with divine smite and with the conviction to fight evildoers (become a prosecutor). But finally my love for magic proved too strong (and that STR 13 requirement is a killer!).

Then it dawned on me! In this edition bards are full casters! And I love magic! I will therefore become a singleclass lore bard and focus on the pursuit of beauty and truth! The DM (parents) told me that there are better spell lists out there to pick from, and since I was allowed to rebuild my character from scratch just after I finish school (AL rules), I should probably go with wizard conjurer (civil engineer), just like the majority of my family tree. But I was unconvinced. I would go to the lore bard college (uni) to hone my magical skills and become a mighty spellcaster! Besides, the spell list is a very versatile one, especially if one is to take into account both magical nd the additional magical secrets, so theoritically with a careful spell selection, my spell list would be more than adequate when the real adventuring begun.

So I took my 3 first levels in lore bard (BSc in Math), and I proudly went forth into adventuring! My ''unfortunate'' choice of musical instrument (piano), meant that I had to leave it behind since I couldn't drag it with me on the adventure. The adventure (life) is a hard one, filled with dungeon crawling and with dangerous enemies, that perhaps calls for a more optimized build than mine, and I have to admit that my spell selection of animal friendship, longstrider, identify, heroism, detect thoughts, zone of truth, (specialty in pure math), although very flavorful and one that I really enjoy, is not perhaps the most suited for a hack n slash campaign. Drastic measures had to be taken in order for me to improve my build asap! It was not an easy choice, but I finally decided to turn to the dark side. I would be multiclassing into warlock for at least my next two levels (MSc in actuarial science). Currently I am a 4th level character (3 lore bard/ 1 warlock, most likely the fiendish type), and I really hope that in about a year from now I will have taken my second warlock level (hitting level 5), thus getting access to every bit of munchkin-y trick and shenanigan I can get my hands on. I'll just have to wait and see if this new direction in my build will pay up (get me a good job).

[furby076]

Im a paladin oath of the crown. I have a small contingent of divination, conjuration and transmutation Wizards, and artificers. My training could not be gotten in one of the citadels of lore, though it was necessary for me to be trained there in some useless lore. My contingent await for me to describe the ramblings of our monarch, so they can make his dreams come true. Very often I must use my high charisma, and skills of influence and persuasion, to work with paladins of different kingdoms to help bring my monarchs goal to fruition, while satisfying their needs.

Im an IT project manager in the healthcare industry and often times spend months on contract discussions and arguments with others

[DracoKnight]

I'm a Warlock who sold his soul to an all-powerful fiend for money.

I have the Sage (Scribe) background, and I'm a VHuman with the Defensive Duelist feat.

(I work crew at McDonald's, and in my free time write screenplays and I also write content for the Middle Finger of Vecna blog.)

[Sigreid]

Im a paladin oath of the crown. I have a small contingent of divination, conjuration and transmutation Wizards, and artificers. My training could not be gotten in one of the citadels of lore, though it was necessary for me to be trained there in some useless lore. My contingent await for me to describe the ramblings of our monarch, so they can make his dreams come true. Very often I must use my high charisma, and skills of influence and persuasion, to work with paladins of different kingdoms to help bring my monarchs goal to fruition, while satisfying their needs.

Im an IT project manager in the healthcare industry and often times spend months on contract discussions and arguments with others

You have a much more charitable view of project management than I do. 😆

[Shining Wrath]

I'm a wizard with a Permanent Tongues spell on him.

I speak the arcane tongue Mathematics to the Mechanical Engineers, the other-worldly tongue UML to the Software Engineers, and then interpret back and forth between them.

[mgshamster]

Transmutation Wizard with the soldier background and proficiency in Alchemical Tools and Poisoners Kit.

I'm a chemist, I work in manufacturing. I'm constantly turning one substance into another on a chemical level.

I have degrees in chemistry, toxicology, and Forensics.

I'm a veteran, four years in the army with two combat tours.

[Socratov]

DM.

I mean, my function in this current job is project engineer and the stuff I do, ranges from making simple designs in autocad, to logistics, purchasing, telling people what to do and how to do it, only to find out that they ignored my advice, that the suppliers messed up and that the client is not exactly happy with what he has requested and wants to have something else done yesterday. On the other end I try to make sure I actually will know what the hell I'm talking about (insert dog meme here), I improve processes along the line and have started to take over some of the IT stuff on a technical level.

And while I spend my attention on one side the other tries its damnest to **** it all up.

But while this might look grim and bleak, I would not have it any other way and fully embrace the chaos.

[JAL_1138]

Customized Sage background pretty much covers a lot of it, and Bard covers the rest. I roll Insight, History, Persuasion, Investigation, and occasionally Perception, and far more rarely Intimidation, and most of my time is spent researching or scribing things. I swapped Arcana for Investigation, and traded the two languages for tool proficiencies (land vehicles, gaming set: dice). For my bard proficiencies I took guitar, harmonica, and I used to play the saxophone, (waaaaay back middle and high school), and Persuasion, Intimidation, and Insight. Vhuman bonus skill is Perception. Vhuman bonus language I got nothin'; I took a smidge of Spanish, German, and Latin, but didn't stick with any long enough for fluency anf they all sort of scrambled into an ungodly useless mishmash in my head. Is Legalese a language? Starting Vhuman feat is Weapon Master (various forms of huntin' guns: muzzle-loader, shotgun, small-caliber rifle, medium/large-caliber rifle).

I'm a lawyer mostly doing contracts and real estate, currently trying to pick up an MBA as well. I majored in philosophy in undergrad. Persuasion, Insight, Investigation, History, and Perception come up in the job fairly often; very rarely I roll Intimidate too (threatening litigation). For the weapon proficiencies, I hunt a lot; for the tool proficiencies, I play a bit of music, I travel a lot for work, and I play some D&D on occasion :smalltongue: For a D&D forum, not many of y'all took dice proficiency! And it's remarkable how few of you can add proficiency rolls when driving a car...