[i.C.] Order of the Stick RPG, 5th Edition

[Reality Glitch]

http://orig12.deviantart.net/7ea9/f/2017/080/5/b/eternal_heros__5th__page_1_by_reality_glitch-db32icm.png
http://orig09.deviantart.net/b16b/f/2017/080/2/5/eternal_heros__5th__page_2_by_reality_glitch-db32izl.png

[Gorgon_Heap]

An elf woman with long, thickly knotted hair and appearing entirely harmless approaches the tables with a towering, heavily-armed lizardfolk. Clearing her throat and looking at each table with mounting distaste, she looks at the nearest creatures and says, "Good day. I am Idril and my companion is Ex. We are unfortunately hobbled by a difference of opinion. Tell me: In readying for an important venture, why would I have need of any services you provide?" It sounds like a challenge.




OOC: Needing a way to start this off, I just figured why not begin with an argument? Idril insists joining some club with does and paperwork is just asking to get taken advantage of.


(Alkerite, you didn't provide a link to Ex in the OOC thread)

[Alkerite]

An elf woman with long, thickly knotted hair and appearing entirely harmless approaches the tables with a towering, heavily-armed lizardfolk. Clearing her throat and looking at each table with mounting distaste, she looks at the nearest creatures and says, "Good day. I am Idril and my companion is Ex. We are unfortunately hobbled by a difference of opinion. Tell me: In readying for an important venture, why would I have need of any services you provide?" It sounds like a challenge.




OOC: Needing a way to start this off, I just figured why not begin with an argument? Idril insists joining some club with does and paperwork is just asking to get taken advantage of.


(Alkerite, you didn't provide a link to Ex in the OOC thread)

OOC: Fixed on last page of OOC thread.

"Idril, we've been doing the druidic way of wandering and doing what quests are dropped at our feet for a while now, they could perhaps introduce us to a questline, rather than more samey sidequests." Despite being quite a bit taller than his companion, Ex's presence was far less threatening, as he cut a less dominating figure than the ever confident Idril.

[Gorgon_Heap]

Idril visibly strains against a powerful eyeroll. "I am unconvinced boredom is truly deadly to lizardfolk, but you have me here, so let us hear these vendors justify their chosen profession."

[Reality Glitch]

"Well, we offer supplies as well as opportunities. Like your friend suggests we can provide you with information about jobs that need to be done. We also offer both mental and physical health care. Especially dental!"

"Also, any tech you get from us will be cutting edge."

"And others in the guild will be more likely to offer assistance then someone off the street."

[Alkerite]

Idril visibly strains against a powerful eyeroll. "I am unconvinced boredom is truly deadly to lizardfolk, but you have me here, so let us hear these vendors justify their chosen profession."
Well. Maybe you should take your cues on boredom from a race that has a fraction of a fraction of your natural longevity.

"Well, we offer supplies as well as opportunities. Like your friend suggests we can provide you with information about jobs that need to be done. We also offer both mental and physical health care. Especially dental!"

"Also, any tech you get from us will be cutting edge."

"And others in the guild will be more likely to offer assistance then someone off the street."

See? Dental! Better gear, and a steady supply of work.

[Ramsus]

"Did I hear something about free dental?" Nefrixs the Red Sage asks with clear interest, her fangs catching the sun's gleam and producing a pointless dramatic lens flare.

[Alkerite]

"Did I hear something about free dental?" Nefrixs the Red Sage asks with clear interest, her fangs catching the sun's gleam and producing a pointless dramatic lens flare.

Yeah, Hobbo. Mind telling my companion here the importance of good healthcare?

[Ramsus]

"Of course of course! Nefrixs the Red Sage is happy to educate those who know the value in seeking sage council." she replies with a toothy grin. "To answer your question, it gives us the advantage in resisting diseases and all sorts of maladies and lengthens our lifespans." she says, sounding as if trying to convince some higher power of something of some significance.

[Gorgon_Heap]

Scowling, Idril replies, "No elf needs an education on self-maintenance from some goblin, nor do we need our lifespans lengthened. We already live for centuries. Deservedly.

"At any rate, I may lead a rustic lifestyle, but dental hygiene is not unknown to me. I merely fail to see the benefit of including some secondary price-saving measure in an activity we are already prepared to undergo. Ah. I see the benefit, now. I am convinced on the healthcare, Ex." She's now at least prepared to hear more.

[Reality Glitch]

"Ah. Well, if you're settled on joining, then I'll need a copy of each of your charcter sheets."

[Gorgon_Heap]

The elf woman holds up a hand to forestall the vendor. "I have said no such thing. You have not so much as responded to my polite introduction with your names, nor have you alleviated my suspicions with particulars of your qualifications and experience to support us, let alone what adventure options you can offer.

"You see," she says to the lizardfolks and hobgoblin, "They will have us simply trust they have our interests at heart. I have seen such activity before, and it is the hallmark of the corruption that festers so easily within those who rely on bureaucracy. Red tape, like a red dragon, is color-coded for villainy!"

[Reality Glitch]

"My apologies. We don't get many people from off continent, so we usually have the benefit of our reputation proceding us. My name is Argee."

"And I'm his sister, Heart. It's a purrrreasure to meet all of you. And don't worry; our record keeping is ment to help with expediancy and keeping our members up on their responabilities."

"Yeah! Don't want a repeat of the last time someone slacked off so hard that a hoard of sloth demons found the motivation to come in person to recruit him."

[Ramsus]

Nefrixs the Red Sage gives the elf a dirty look, then turns to lizardfolk and asks, "Did your.... friend, attempt to use vicious mockery on my color? Because they don't look like a bard. Well... not more than any other elf."

Nefrixs gives a chuckle at the joke about sloth demons and goes to hand over a copy of her character sheet. It just happens that she "accidentally" winds up slapping the elf in the face with it with her eyes lining up to the word Red in her title. "Sorry about that. Wind." she says, not at all sorry, and proceeds to hand the sheet over.

[Alkerite]

Idril! You of all people should know that there's a lot of red stuff in the world. And Hells, aren't most Red's CE? But if it'll put you at ease, I could always use a casting of detect Evil. Ex did his best to calm his easily annoyed companion, before gathering his sheet, and passing it to the odd pair of siblings.

[Sahaar]

Thomas runs up to the group surrounding the stand, having spied them from down the road. "Whoa, hey! Sorry I'm late. I drank a lot last night and I'm really hungover and...wait, what time is it?" He fishes his character sheet out of his travelling bag and slides it in among the rest.

[Gorgon_Heap]

Blinking and frowning with a flapping paper in her face, Idril continues her scowl at the hobgoblin. "You are orange. And this is to what I am referring," she implores the rest of you. "Why should we chain ourselves to an organization that demands such strict control that punishment for laxity is, apparently, damnation?"

She graces Thomas with a glance indicating she's unsurprised by his condition, but not that she disapproves.

"And why would anyone hoard demons?"

[Reality Glitch]

"No no no no no no, you've got it all wrong! That was an isolated incident. We didn't want demons coming after him, they just kind of did? Actually, before us, he had history of pen-demonic laziness. That said, it's less like being chained and more like offered. I mean, sure, we take a 10% share, but that's only so low because all other charges are based on your use of our services."

"Plus, we provide unlimited resurrections as part of the healthcare plan. Though, if you want, you can switch to a reincarnation plan instead."

"While we do encourage (and even push if you join our training program) you to be the best version of yourself, we don't punish those who don't abuse our system. Though we aren't above punishment. :smallsmile:"

"Oh; that was almost a purrrrfect one. :smallsmile:"

"Yeah. Guess I was just dragon my feet back there. :smallbiggrin:"

"Not that it really matters meow that we have more takers. :smallsmile:"

[Gorgon_Heap]

Idril shudders. "By all the gods, please desist.

I am impressed with the resurrection clause. That must be quite costly on premiums. How do you keep your rates so low?" She then remembers something else: "Oh, yes; you keep saying you have adventures at the ready. I would hear what sorts of ventures your guild supports."

[Reality Glitch]

"Whatever comes our way really."

The next pannel is a cut-away to a narrated montage.

"We compete in a free-market style brawler where the guild that can provide the best service gets the most requests :smallwink: and the best service is provided by the having the best adventurers join your guild. But in order to entice adventurers, you need low fees, but if the fees are too low you can't support the guild. It's a balancing act. That is .... until you hit a certain threshold of having adventurers be so good that you can support your guild with small fees, at which point they're going to be good enough to bring lots of quests for said adventurers, thus sending you into a positive feedback loop that theoretically could become so powerful as to solve all the worlds' problems at which point the collapse is more devastating than when the intercontinental bubble popped the first time."

The scene is back at the M.A. registration desk.

"Buuuut, no one's ever achieved such a feedback loop. Hopefully our pay-for-what-you-use model brings us close."

[Sahaar]

Thomas nods, understanding through the headache. "So you entice adventurers in through small fees and make most of your profit through bringing in a lot of work...but the possibility exists that we're so good at our job that we destroy our own economy through sheer competance? Gee, that sounds like a conspiracy waiting to happen."

[Reality Glitch]

"Like I said: a balancing act."

[Alkerite]

Please. Enough is enough, you have our sheets, can you please stop talking business. Ex held his head, partly in discomfort, partly in boredom.

[Estralita]

As the group's talk wound down, an Aasimar Paladin swept in. "Is all the boring party negotiating done? Please say it's done."

[Gorgon_Heap]

The elf woman eyes the newcomer. "Amongst each other, no, but with these guild figures, perhaps. I suppose it depends on how you would define you level of competence. Are you an adventurer of exceeding professionalism and competence, who has never known concern of failure? If so I would fear colluding with you, lest we end the world upon some pyre of self-immolating success.

"I think the theory lacks credibility, but when people speak so nonchalantly about the world ending it is probably best not to add weight to the argument."

[Reality Glitch]

"Don't worry about it. The world won't end only the guild will." Argee puts his hand to his chin. "And the livelyhood of everone in it, but even in a worse-case scenario that's but a temporary set back."

[Alkerite]

"Sounds like one hell of a set back...

[Reality Glitch]

"¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I've been through that on more than one occation. I've always bonuced back."

":smallconfused: I don't think multiclassing as many times as you have character levels counts."

":smallannoyed: not what I meant."

[Estralita]

Pau'la's eyebrows flew up. "The world ending?! Since when?"

[Reality Glitch]

Argee and Heart speak in unison, "Since ever!!"

[Alkerite]

Although that talk will no doubt be fun, can we just get a party registered? This place is probably getting on my companion's nerves. Ex stared imploringly at the pair of lizardfolk and tabaxi siblings, trying to convince them not to go down a line of conversation more likely to make him fall asleep rather than inform him.

[Sahaar]

Thomas shrugs and rolls his eyes. "The world is always ending. It's why people like us never go out of business."

[Ramsus]

"I know I was certainly hoping for something a little more low key than a world saving megaquest as my first outing with a new party. Can we give that one to someone else?" Nefrixs the Red Sage comments.

[Reality Glitch]

Although that talk will no doubt be fun, can we just get a party registered? This place is probably getting on my companion's nerves."Well, unless the two of are going to part ways, I'll need a copy of her character sheet as well."
Ex stared imploringly at the pair of lizardfolk and tabaxi siblings, trying to convince them not to go down a line of conversation more likely to make him fall asleep rather than inform him."I rather you not just assume we're the same species."

"He didn't say anything."

"D'oh! Not again."

[Estralita]

Pau'la gathered herself. "Oh, right." Pau'la pulled out her character sheet and handed it over.

[Reality Glitch]

"I meant Miss Indril here, but welcome to guild."

[Gorgon_Heap]

Thoroughly disgusted by this process, Idril nonetheless doesn't want to leave what's been a successful partnership with Ex - at least not until it all falls apart and can say she told him so. She hands over her document.

[Alkerite]

Thank you, Idril. Now, is this everyone, or will another just drop in? Ex smiled best he could at Idril. I know I'm eager to get back to the wilderness, so I can only imagine how Idril feels.

[Reality Glitch]

"I know I was certainly hoping for something a little more low key than a world saving megaquest as my first outing with a new party. Can we give that one to someone else?" Nefrixs the Red Sage comments."No, no! Of course not!" A bead pf sweat is visible on Argee's brow despite his reptilian physiology. "We don't throw anything at you we don't think you can handle."
Thoroughly disgusted by this process, Idril nonetheless doesn't want to leave what's been a successful partnership with Ex - at least not until it all falls apart and can say she told him so. She hands over her document."Alright, that's all five of you. The next guild meeting is tomorrow around midday. We'll get your information into your database before then so that the tracking enchantment can lead you to our HQ. Once there, you can have the tracking turn off on request."

"Thank you all for applying. Have a nice day."

"And sorry about the mind ready; Ex."

As you are all walking away, Ex overhears the two before leaving earshot.

"The big lizard's kinda cute."

"That's just because you hang around me on your time off."

"Hehe; true."

[Estralita]

"I know I was certainly hoping for something a little more low key than a world saving megaquest as my first outing with a new party. Can we give that one to someone else?" Nefrixs the Red Sage comments.

"Exactly. I mean, I thought there was some sort of transitional quest between minor goblin raiders and Apocalypse of the Week. I'm only level 3. I'd like to at least get my first ASI before my bones decorate a dungeon."


"No, no! Of course not!" A bead pf sweat is visible on Argee's brow despite his reptilian physiology. "We don't throw anything at you we don't think you can handle."

"Phew." Pau'la smiled in relief. "Imma hold you to that, though."

[Sahaar]

Thomas clasps his hands together. "Great! Now that the paperwork's sorted, how about we all go out for drinks? Always good to celebrate new partnerships, no?"

[Alkerite]

I suppose there are worse places to wait out the call to adventure, but it'd probably leave Idril with conniptions.

[Gorgon_Heap]

Idril nods, looks around, points. "That way is more densely populated and sure to have the sort of dank, soul-flogging wreck of an establishment that should serve the purpose. I must have a hearty dwarven ale or weak, warm human beverage of little flavor and no nutritional value." She sounds adamant.

[Ramsus]

Nefrixs the Red Sage shrugs, not being much of a drinker but not wanting to be unsociable.

[Sahaar]

"Onwards to the pubs then, new friends!" Thomas starts marching toward the public quarter.

"By the way, I'm Thomas, some call me Lionheart. Hobbies include drinking, eating, sleeping in late, at stabbing Tyrants."

[Alkerite]

Idril nods, looks around, points. "That way is more densely populated and sure to have the sort of dank, soul-flogging wreck of an establishment that should serve the purpose. I must have a hearty dwarven ale or weak, warm human beverage of little flavor and no nutritional value." She sounds adamant.

Idril, the last time you drank Dwarven ale, you critically failed your constitution check. That stuff'll kill you.and most plant matter, anyway...

[Gorgon_Heap]

Idril, the last time you drank Dwarven ale, you critically failed your constitution check. That stuff'll kill you.and most plant matter, anyway...

"Precisely. I cannot remain in a city such as this and enjoy myself in any way."

[Alkerite]

Then I suppose it'll be another night of beer filled waterskins and the stars. Ex smiled at his rather dour companion, trying to make a positive spin on the situation.