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Zaq
2017-03-29, 01:13 PM
I'm thinking about making a character who's not quite all there. There's a big extended joke about their personality that may or may not be entirely necessary to get into here, but they're going to be very, shall we say, flexible with how they view their relationship to the rest of the world. I'll probably be reasonably stable with the other PCs just so as to avoid group disharmony, but when it comes to enemies and similar folks, things will get a little slippery. I'll put some details in a spoiler, if you care.

I'm basically trying to spin an extended Phoenix Wright (OBJECTION!) joke into something a little more solid than a one-note gag, but this character is going to kind of view themselves as a one-person courtroom. Not necessarily "judge, jury, and executioner" so much as "prosecutor, defense, and bailiff." Depending on exactly what kinds of effects he's throwing around, he'd refer to his enemies as witnesses, clients, opposing attorneys, plaintiffs, defendants, and so on, possibly even within the same round. Whatever makes for the appropriate gag at the moment, basically. He might focus attention on an enemy by "calling them to the stand" as a witness, but if they then attack one of his friends, he might berate them for badgering the witness, acting as though the same enemy were a wayward attorney. But if he then interrupts them from attacking his friends and redirects the attack elsewhere, he'll act like this same enemy is actually an unjustly accused defendant, and he's demonstrating their alibi on the spot by showing that they couldn't possibly have attacked his friend (who is now "the victim"). It'll be goofy, but my group likes that sort of thing. I'm thinking he'd have a familiar whom he views as either a client who's been framed for something terrible, or the ghost of a murdered victim, or the judge to whom he is making his case, or whatever else seems funny at the time. And yes, I'm not picking one of those things—the story would change more or less randomly, with the goal being comedy. The point is to take an idea that started as a single gag and then make it interesting for more than one or two encounters.

Also, full disclosure, this is for a 4e game (it's far easier to do interrupts and OBJECTION!s in 4e, after all), but since I'm looking for roleplaying and character ideas, the edition isn't actually important, and this forum is much livelier than the 4e one.

Anyway, one way in which I want to convey the fact that this character isn't all there is by making them a conspiracy theorist. This is going to be for a relatively generic setting (not specifically FR or Eberron or anything), for what that's worth. But I'd like your help thinking of what kinds of totally cuckoo conspiracy theories a character living in the D&D universe would come up with. I mean, we're talking about a universe in which magic is real, creatures like dragons and rakshasas and liches really can have ridiculously long-term plots (that might actually amount to something!), and there's enough going on that it's actually kind of hard to come up with something that's so far out there as to be an obvious sign of my character being a whackjob but that isn't so far out there that it just sounds stupid. (The essence of this kind of comedy is going just exactly far enough, after all; not enough and there's no kick, but too far and the humor is replaced with confusion.)

So, help me out. What kinds of goofy conspiracy theories might someone in a D&D fantasy world believe? Ideally I'd like them to be zippy enough that I can drop an offhanded reference to them without hogging the spotlight but meaty enough that I can spin them out if the moment is right. Silly enough to be obviously wrong but weird enough that the average Joe won't have direct physical proof to the contrary in their pocket.

I have some half-baked ideas to start, but I'm not really thrilled with any of them, so I'll wait for a little bit before posting them. I'm much more interested in hearing what you come up with than in discussing the bad stuff I came up with, at least to start. Still, the whole point of this is to be silly, so go ahead and lay it on me. Thanks for the help!

Vizzerdrix
2017-03-29, 01:16 PM
Flumphs are the secret rulers of the world and want all the cheese to create a sentient plane where they can plan the future of all species, but in a good way.

Flickerdart
2017-03-29, 01:23 PM
While there might be an obvious glut of magic when it comes to dragons, liches, and various epic-level clerics, your typical person is not likely to know more about them than the fact that they exist, somewhere, probably. A nice juicy conspiracy theory takes something mundane and serves up a fantastic explanation for it. "The king is a lizard person" might not fly just because the next door king is a lizard person, lizard people make up a significant proportion of the population, and it's just not shocking or exciting.

Which brings us to the matter of elves. They are relatively mundane - a common playable humanoid race, typically friendly with humans in most settings - but are just a little bit unsettling. That century-long span that it takes for an elf to become an adult, and the general "oldness" that tends to be associated with elven civilization? The fact that they don't sleep? The pointy ears? The holier-than-thou attitude? The uselessness of half-elves? Elves are a perfect target for conspiracy theories. Maybe elves are responsible for shaping the development of human society, to our detriment and their benefit. Maybe elves are secretly descended from an eladrin clan that was banished to the Prime Material, and secretly toil to merge the Prime with Arborea? Maybe all elves are secretly drow with sunscreen on, establishing beachheads in human lands before they invade full-force and bring about an age of eternal night?

Gildedragon
2017-03-29, 02:20 PM
1) Spells, healing spells in particular, shorten one's lifespan. Healing spells are Conjuration after all; those hitpoints gotta be coming from somewhere, that disease is going somewhere too
2) The gods aren't real; they're v powerful wizards
3) the govt is secretly run by a wizard who uses the taxes to create his own magic items
4) Adventurers are in cahoots with local BBEG to run a protection racket
5) Pelor the Burning Hate
6) extraterrestrials
7) heliocentrism
8) The world is an illusion by a master level sorcerer
9) everyone could be a sorcerer but BIG MAGIC is stealing everyone's powers
10) Bob there has a pig that is secretly the demon lord Orcus

kuhaica
2017-03-29, 02:22 PM
In my current game. A player believes without a shred of doubt. That the guard recruitment policy (in the capital you can get easily fooled to join the guard as several administration buildings look the same) is to create a force of idiots who will allow a hostile take over against the king. That and other such guard related theories, such as "How come they are always nearby when we do something. But never when we need them" and then going on about how the guards must be out to stop the party. No matter where they are.

Silly things like that. But for you. I would say pick up on common tropes you see in the game. And then spin wild tales which are just believable, allowing you to try and expose the truth.

Inevitability
2017-03-29, 02:33 PM
Making magic items is actually very easy (explaining the large amounts of items, even when they're not economically viable or powerful), but the government is hiding all but the most complicated and costly formulas.

The Wall of the Faithless isn't real: the gods made it up to frighten people into worshipping them.

Healing potions cause cancer.

Elminster was behind the Spellplague.

Afgncaap5
2017-03-29, 02:34 PM
Flickerdart's right on the money: you want things that are mundane and right in front of you. I'd suggest looking at actual old fears and superstitions for some inspiration to find things that are obviously crazy but are just believable enough for a fantasy setting. Off the top of my head...


The well's been poisoned! If you drink from it, you fall under the spell of the king, who's actually the old king's magician! Drinking the water makes you forget! Don't forget!

The tanner's daughter is one of the fair folk! She was replaced by a goblin as a baby and no one else sees it! Now she's just waiting for the right time to strike and steal another child!

Matilda is stealing all of our milk. Milk's gone too sour too quickly lately, and I've seen butterflies everywhere. She's turning into butterflies and stealing the milk or making it go bad! I don't know why she wants all that milk, but I think she's using dark magic means to kill us all!

Alabenson
2017-03-29, 03:04 PM
You want paranoid delusions? Then I'll give you paranoid delusions!

First of all, there are no such things as "Gods", nor does healing magic work like the clerics want you to think it does. Divine magic is actually a plot concocted by aboleths to warp time so that they can bring back the primordial oceans. Whenever a cleric casts a healing spell on you, what really happens is they're rewinding time back to before you were injured. That time is siphoned off and beamed to a secret aboleth temple hidden at the bottom of the ocean. Once the aboleths have enough time, they'll unleash it all at once to drown the world so they can rule us all. That's why healing spells are from the Conjuration school, because they're teleporting the time to the aboleths.
And people who are brought back from the dead? That's not actually them, those are clones created with the memories of the original person, but in actuality they're really sleeper agents working for the aboleths.
Healing potions? Those are tagged with special spells that let the aboleths track where you are and what you're thinking.

MintyThe1st
2017-03-29, 03:15 PM
One of my personal favorites is the Brotherhood of Assassins and the Thieves Guild are working for the King.

another is the King is really a dragon/evil wizard.