Warlock: Yuan Ti/Halfelf backstory critique

[Desiani]

I'm wanting to create a female Warlock of either Yuan Ti or Half Elf race. I am looking for critique to see if this makes sense or not.

The mother/spawner of the character fell into some deep doo doo and went in search of the Hag that made it's home nearby. The Parent made a desperate trade of their child in exchange for the aid of the Hag. The hag is a forest dwelling Auntie (second only to a Grandmother) who felt that the child had potential for great power and thus took her as a daughter to eventually corrupt and make a pawn as she became old enough to learn.

The child was abysmal at any kind of magic the Hag could try and teach her, unable to even master the Light control. The hag decided if she wasn't able to grasp anything by 16 then the Hag would kill her and not waste more time. The child was learning a great deal from the Hag, just not magic. She was very observant. She learned the ins and outs of how the Hag bargained and how she always was true to her word, but always corrupted the deal. She learned how her Mother dealt with others of her kind and read through each of the books, searching not for magic, but for any infmation about Hags.

On her 16th birthday the Girl tricked her Mother into a Pact by using the same bargaining she had seen so many times before. The pact was to give the Girl powers beyond her imagination and she would leave her home to bargain and trick others into her Mothers hands and eventually return home to undergo the transformation into a Hag proper.

I'm looking for opinions and critique about the backstory itself. I would also like to know, based on this backstory if Archefey or Great Old One would be more appropriate because the shtick of the character would be tricking and bargaining her way through ordeals to keep with her pact.

Thank you

[Desiani]

Bump yay science

[Arenabait]

1. This is an awesome backstory, and I love it to pieces!

2. Definitely fey, and probably with persuasion and deception as background skills.

[The Aboleth]

I'm a bit confused on some of the backstory, specifically the parts I bolded below:




The mother/spawner of the character fell into some deep doo doo and went in search of the Hag that made it's home nearby. The Parent made a desperate trade of their child in exchange for the aid of the Hag. The hag is a forest dwelling Auntie (second only to a Grandmother) who felt that the child had potential for great power and thus took her as a daughter to eventually corrupt and make a pawn as she became old enough to learn.

....

On her 16th birthday the Girl tricked her Mother into a Pact by using the same bargaining she had seen so many times before. The pact was to give the Girl powers beyond her imagination and she would leave her home to bargain and trick others into her Mothers hands and eventually return home to undergo the transformation into a Hag proper.



Did the girl trick her Mother--the one who originally brought her to the Hag--or the Hag itself? I'm assuming the girl tricked the Hag and the use of "Mother" is simply a typo, but I could be wrong.

In any case, it seems like you have a solid foundation for a good character. The trickster angle, to me, fits more with a Yuan-Ti but I think you'll have to flesh out more detail as to why a Yuan-Ti parent would make a deal with a Hag in the first place...then again, Yuan-Ti are typically cold and calculating individuals so maybe the mother felt that making a deal with the Hag in the first place was the most logical choice.

If you go the Half-Elf route instead, there are possibly less hoops to jump through in that regard. In any case, Fey pact probably works better than Great Old One since the girl's deal was (again, I'm assuming) made with the Hag---unless this specific Hag's power also comes from a Great Old One, in which case GOO would work better.

[Desiani]

I'm a bit confused on some of the backstory, specifically the parts I bolded below:



Did the girl trick her Mother--the one who originally brought her to the Hag--or the Hag itself? I'm assuming the girl tricked the Hag and the use of "Mother" is simply a typo, but I could be wrong.

In any case, it seems like you have a solid foundation for a good character. The trickster angle, to me, fits more with a Yuan-Ti but I think you'll have to flesh out more detail as to why a Yuan-Ti parent would make a deal with a Hag in the first place...then again, Yuan-Ti are typically cold and calculating individuals so maybe the mother felt that making a deal with the Hag in the first place was the most logical choice.

If you go the Half-Elf route instead, there are possibly less hoops to jump through in that regard. In any case, Fey pact probably works better than Great Old One since the girl's deal was (again, I'm assuming) made with the Hag---unless this specific Hag's power also comes from a Great Old One, in which case GOO would work better.

When I refer to Mother, I mean the Hag. To the child, the Hag is the only parent figure in her life as she was too young to remember her original parent.