Trog's Talk Show - Season II

[Trog]

http://home.centurytel.net/jeffsjunk/avatars/TrogsTalkShow.gif
http://home.centurytel.net/jeffsjunk/forumart/TalkShowShot.gif
Season II
As you file into the small studio and find your seat in the audience bleachers the air seems tense and the stage is dark except for the lava moat running around it and providing footlights of a sort. You find your seat and soon the lights come up revealing a Tasteful wooden desk and a comfortable retro looking chair next to it and a small model of Azure City in the background. Animated objects that look like large studio cameras come to life and a small, disgruntled gnome stumps across the stage and slaps on a pair of headphones and drinks a small glass of water.

*a low drumroll is heard*

ANNOUNCER COSMO:From Azure City... where the first thread was trashed so there's no proof that we're using old jokes... it's Trog's Talk Show. :smallsigh:

And now, here's your host... Trog. :smallannoyed:

*lights come up and a shortish troglodyte ambles out on stage dressed in a nice silk suit and tie to a smattering of applause.*

http://home.centurytel.net/jeffsjunk/avatars/TrogSuit.gif

Thank you ladies and gentlemen. We're back on the air. Trog's Talk show is back interviewing forum members and taking your PMs with questions for our guests. Yes, we're back. After a brief setback involving our first guest, who... and if memory serves Trog wrong here, Cosmo...

The only thing your memory is serving is happy hour you cheap-ass throwback to the dinosaumumble, grumble, mumble...

...she came out and yelled at everyone in the studio. It's true! Yelled at em. In like a big red voice. You know, Cosmo, like the one Trog does for Halloween... to scare off the kids who want Trog's candy.

You mean your sex voice? :smallannoyed:

Er... um... yeah. Yeah that one. :smalleek:

...

So.... :smallconfused: how did you kno-

You need thicker walls in the tavern. And your dressing room. :smallannoyed:

Er...

Right. :smalleek: :smallredface:

Aaaaanyway, as Trog was saying before please welcome to the stage a woman who needs no introduction... but she's getting one anyway cause Trog's gotta stand out here and do something for the distinct lack of cash he's getting for this gig...

Let's have a big round of applause for the lovely and talented Alarra. :smallbiggrin:

*APPLAUSE*

[Zeb The Troll]

Zeb eagerly takes a seat near the middle of the audience. He missed the last season due to some kind of vermin takeover that happened before he could make it in.

He leans over to the person next to him and voices a hope that season two doesn't fall victim to the same fate then settles in to wait for the lovely lady first guest to take her seat in the guest chair.

*joins in the applause*

[Serpentine]

Serpentine slithers in a little late. She tries to navigate the rows of chairs quietly in search of a suitable spot, but the lack of accomodation for those lacking in "normal" lower limbs and the rude gestures and noises of those around her finally make her snap. She tears out several chairs, throwing them to the back of the room, and coils in the space left behind. Retrieving the bucket of popcorn left behind by one of the people sitting in the formerly grounded seats, she settles in to watch.

[SDF]

After seeing an irate audience member throw a bunch of chairs in the corner, SDF sees the perfect opportunity and makes a couch fort out of the displaced seats. He then hangs a "NO HUMANS" sign on the outside of it, and sets up snacks.

[Castaras]

A pie representative of the Playground News comes in, camera pies following. They all take a seat near the front and set up the cameras and microphones.

[DarkLightDragon]

*DLD, in half-dragon form, flies in and lands on the beam she used as a perch during the last season. This time, she is careful not to fall off and send popcorn flying all over the studio. She also summons some popcorn*

Pretty nifty ability I gained during the last season, no? Anyway, it's nice to see this studio operational again.

[Charity]

Alarra Eh, should be a good show. *tucks into his, (recently stolen from the eye tyrant) popcorn and flicks through his Bumper book of humourous heckles.*

[Surfer99]

*slips in the back hiding behind the last row of chairs hoping noone notices his lack of ticket

[Alarra]

At the end of the introduction, a spotlight flashes on to the side of the stage, revealing Alarra, a cell phone pressed to the side of her head.

"And can you believe they didn't even inform me that they were taking a break between seasons? The troglodyte was tired they said, needed a break. Bah. The troglodyte got drunk and forgot he had a show is more like it. Did you know I've been sitting backstage for what? weeks now anyway. And if I have to put up with another catmuffin I swear to pudding...."

....

"And season 2! I know! You would think that I, of all people, would have enough pull to get a slot on season 1."

....

"Well, yes. I realize being the first guest of the season is something. And the strawberries were nice."

Alarra looks up suddenly, as if finally noticing that there's a spotlight on her.
"Gotta go....crap..."
She flips the phone closed and smiles a sheepish grin toward the audience.

"Is this thing on?" She taps lightly at the microphone clipped to the front of her shirt as she walks across the stage to the guest chair.

She shakes the scowling Troglodyte's hand before sitting in the chair, her legs twisted oddly beneath her. "Why thank you for having me, it's just an honor. I just loooooove what you've done with the set since last season." She smiles brightly out at the audience before turning her attention back to the host, a worried look plain on her face.

[Castaras]

One of the pie reporters starts scribbling down notes on a small notepad, while another whispers to the camera man.

This should be good...might even make the front page..."Alarra Alarmed at awful timing to Trog's Talkshow!"

[Lord Iames Osari]

Iames comes in and takes a seat.

[Trog]

Hmm? What? Set? Oh yes the set. Well the folding chairs were geting a little bent up so Trog sprung for some new ones. Upholstered this time. Still trying to get the producer to reimburse Trog on that. Trog's not holding his breath.

But yes the set has changed a bit. Like what they put in Trog's mug now. Can't get a decent cup of java around here since the end of last season. No Coffee shop you see? Luckily Trog has taken to substituting it with wood grain alcohol. The regular stuff doesn't have as many ill health effects as Trog usually likes.

*sips and retreives a Coffin Nail from his mithril cigarette case of holding. Lights it and accidently manages to bump over his mug, spilling its flammable contents all over the desk. Puffs.*

Oops. Speaking of which Trog has a bone to pick with you about that. The last season. Trog had everything going well... nice and chaotic then, as Trog recalls, a certain member of the mod squad arrived and put the kibosh on talking. Is anything like that bound to happen here in season 2?

*flicks cigarette casually and the entire desktop leaps with flames*

[Serpentine]

Serpentine giggles slightly too loud at "mod squad".

[Death, your friend the Reaper]

*Death thinks there should be added security, all these people just coming in taking chairs, there will be now left by the end.

He hovers near the curtains, taking down names on his notebook*

[DarkLightDragon]

*DLD looks at the others in amusement, and notices the chair fort. She then thinks about last season's pillow fort and the curse that struck quite a few guests during that time*

[Alarra]

"Well, that all depends, Trog, m'dear." She raises an eyebrow at him. "On whether or not you continue to have a show going on in midst of the chatter."

Alarra finds a stick and a bag of marshmallows next to her chair and begins roasting two over the flaming desk.

[Jibar]

Jibar and a troupe of koalas enter and take a seat behind Charity, flicking bits of popcorn at him and not really paying attention. Meanwhile Jibar is reading over his shoulder, giggling to himself. One of the koalas throws an empty bucket of ice cream in Death's direction.

[Trog]

That sounds like a threat.

*The desk leaps to life and begins running around the studio in circles yelping like a dog.* YI YI YI YI YI YI!

Oh fer crying out loud Trog KNEW there had to be a reason that desk went so cheap. Er...

*Watches desk run around in obvious pain. Lights another cigarette off of it as it passes.* Er... "Desky?" uh... heel boy. Stop drop and roll! Stop drop and roll! Someone carve some ears into that thing would ya?

*The animated desk obeys and flips over smothering the flames. Then flipping over again it makes it's smouldering way back to heel at its master's feet. Trog hesitantly pats the desk in an uncomfortable "there-there" sort of way.*

Sooo as long as Trog keeps talking it's all good then. Gotcha. Well Trog can certainly do that. Though Trog might need some caffeine later if this is gonna become a nonstop marathon event. Ooo! Maybe we could do a telethon and raise money for a worthy cause. Like Trog's booze fund or something.

*looks at charred, sticky, smoldering desk top*

Well now Trog feels at home. :smallsigh:

So, Puddin' what's new in Alarra-land?

CHING!
*A light blue card pops up out of the desk. Trog blinks at it for a second.*

Should Trog rub her nose in it do you think? He says, pointing at the desk.

Oh wait. It's a viewer question, also. "Why exactly do Americans toast marshmellows? Does it actually happen, even?"

[blackfox]

BlackFox crouches in the shadows in a corner, trying to decide who to sneak up on.

[T'ze'hai]

"Ow dear me I seem to be a bit late... excuse me, sorry, may I just pass to get to that free seat over there?..."

*T'ze'hai tries to squeeze in between some large trolls sitting in the back, while carrying along a large bucket of popcorn, a supersized coke, a bag-of-tricks, some library books due to return yesterday (whoops, forgotten), and a large stick.

"Did I miss anything?"

[Supagoof]

Graklok enters the studio and finds himself a seat. As he sits down he looks around. Spotting Death peeking out from the backstage, he slumps down in his chair, trying to look inconspicous and un-noticable from the grim reaper.

[Mr. Moon]

Deciding that it's a monday morning and thus their's nothing good on TV, Moon Called walks in and takes a seat near the aisle. This results in a bit of a fuss, because her sword is a mite to big to go under her seat, and putting it in it's sheathe would be just plain akward. Eventualy she sighs, and lays it out on the seats next to her. It takes up a good three, and the guy in the fourth seat is going to be a little uncomfertable with that sword tip jabbing him in the shoulder.

[CurlyKitGirl]

A small cat sneaks into the studio via the window. Noticing Death she makes a wide berth around him. She comes perilously close to the lava ring; barely avoiding scorching her fur.
After circling the studio several times she picks a seat a few rows behind the snake-lady.

[MrEdwardNigma]

MrEdwardNigma quietly enters at the back of the studio and observes the crowd.
"Nice turnout...Just a pity there aren't any empty seats...yet" he mutters, and then he absently waves his staff at someone in the audience, who promptly turns into an extra-large bucket of popcorn. MrEdwardNigma sits down in the now empty seat and starts crunching popcorn.

[MethodicalMeat]

MM bumbles in through the door and looks around sheepishly when he realizes how late he is. He finds a seat swiftly, if a little clumsily, and hunches forward to watch the show.

[PlatinumJester]

Platinum Jester wanders in carrying a mountain of snacks, drinks and Pop Rocks. He then crashes into a seat making a huge noise and pissing everyone off before putting his feet up on the chair in front.

[blackout]

Blackout walks in, and looks around. :smallbiggrin: Whoooooo! Trog! He sits down. The seat creaks when he does, probably because of the big red robot suit he's wearing.

[Mephibosheth]

Mephibosheth shuffles into the studio, leaving a fine trail of stuffing in his wake and dragging his severed paw along the ground. He stops at the back of the audience and looks down on the stage, where Trog and Alarra are engaged in their conversation/marshmallow roasting. He turns to the nearest audience member (a dagger-armed woman crouching in the shadows) and speaks. He's surprisingly eloquent for an undead teddy bear.

Hmm, what's this here? I was just looking for some stuffing (stuuuuffing...stuuuuffing, oh sorrry) and seem to have gotten somewhat...lost.

[WingedCheetah]

A cheetah, bedecked with a pair of large, feathery wings, alights on the beam shared by DarkLightDragon. The large cat carefully folds her wings and smiles a DLD.

"My first time here." She says happily, her tail waving behind her.

[sktarq]

From the underdark enterence a flumph floats in. His eyestalks care cautiously searching this new place. After carefully making sure it is not under any stage lights, mike booms, half dragons, winged felids, or anything else that can fall on him the flumph decided that the roof of the chair fort would be good place to rest his spikes-it says no humans after all.

[Nomrom]

Nomrom hurries in, and realizes he's late and missed the start of the show. He looks around for an empty seat, and locating one on the left side of the studio, goes to sit down, trying to cause as little annoyance as possible. He sits down and realizes the seat was unoccupied because the cameras block most of the view. Unfortunately, he sees nowhere else to go, so he mutters to himself he must show up earlier next time.

[T'ze'hai]

Ow good, it seems like there are a lot of creatures who like this....... she mutters to the trolls next to her, and no-one else in particulare. She looks around and sees the halfdragon and the winged cheetah on their post. She holds up her superlarge bucket of popcorn: Hello there! Want some popcorn? Or shall I come up there?

[Alarra]

As timing would have it, the marshmallows end up perfectly tanned and toasted before the desk flips over, so Alarra pops the first gooey treat off of the stick and watches the antics while licking stickiness from her fingers.

As Trog asks the question, she seems somewhat shocked for a moment.


Oh wait. It's a viewer question, also. "Why exactly do Americans toast marshmellows? Does it actually happen, even?"

"Wait.....wait.....Are you saying that in other countries they don't toast marshmallows? I had no idea this was an exclusively American custom." She looks out toward the audience. "Okay....who wrote this? Come up here." She holds the stick aloft. "I mean...if you haven't tried a toasted marshmallow....why.....why....well, that's just something we'd best remedy right now. I mean, look at it, it's all toasty on the outside, and gooey on the inside, and don't even get me started on smores.....but I bet you haven't had those either." Alarra looks nearly appalled by this thought.

[Castaras]

The pies carry on scribbling things down in their notebooks.

"Mod 'mazed at lack of roast marshmallows!"
Hmm...Could work...

[Zeb The Troll]

*Zeb wonders if he could get away with claiming he wrote the question just so he can go on stage and have a toasted marshmallow. Nah, probably not. Instead he looks around the audience to see if anyone will own up to it.*

[The Great Skenardo]

And then, there was
The Great Skenardo.
Dressed in the very finest of Jumbasuits with a tiny sprig of Wumba Fott in his lapel, Skenardo sits back in his chair and observes the stage absently, apparently preoccupied with ulfish thought.

[Exachix]

Exachix enters and sits at the back. Listening to the marshmallowy goodness of a talk show.

[zeratul]

Zeratul walks in, and sits down near Curly. "Ya know this is making my think about mine and Calamity's epic battles, good stuff."

[evisiron]

A small dark form is seen scampering through the door before it closes behind Zeratul. Moments later, a burly orc bursts through the door, waving his sword and keeping his shield to the front.

"BBLLAARRGHHH!" yells evisiron.

A round of 'ssshhh' and various rude gestures come from the darkened seating area, surprising him.

"bblllaarrgghhh" evisiron responds, in a somewhat muted manner.

Realising this may be a good place to rest before raging again, evisiron props his shield against the wall and sits on its edge. The figures on the lava light stage seem to be talking, so he listens in.

[Trog]

*seeing that no one is claiming the toasted glob of sugar Trog nabs it, freshly toasted off the stick.*
:smalleek:
HOT! GAH! $#*@! IT BURNS!. GAH! IT'S STICKING TO TROG! IT'S LIKE SUGARY NAPALM! AHHH! OOOH oooo. oh... hold on now it's cooling a bit. Now if Trog can just get it to stop sticking to Trog's fingers and get in Trog's mouth here.

MMM mmmm :smallsmile:

Miss is goom stuff. Buh ver shticky. Trog knees a dwink uf somfin to wash this down wi. Anyone haf sum Univershal Sholvent?

*Trog's maw is now a gooey mess of sugar and each sentence he manages to form seems to cost him a great effort to move his jaw muscles.*

*DING! Trog grabs the next blue card*

So... "You sheem to meet yur men on the interwebsh. How are you and Zsheb getting it on... er no wait...*squints at card* "getting on" is what it says. Trog's mishtake. There's a glob of marfmewwow here.

*Trog tries to dislodge the card from his goo-covered hands and just becomes more entangled. The desk nuzzles Trog seeking more attention and whining piteously.*

[Space-Is-Curved]

With a small cracking sound, Space-Is-Curved appears out of thin air, seemingly in two places at once. She is sitting on the beam next to DLD and on the right side of T'ze'hai in what was previously an empty chair.
Sorry I'm late. Terrible traffic on the 7th dimension. Do you mind if I have some popcorn? She says to both DLD and T'ze'hai.

[Vonriel]

Vonriel walks down the aisle to where Moon Called is sitting. 'Scuse me, ma'am, but I'm going to have to take your sword from you. After a nasty incident last season involving munchkins, the studio feels it's best to keep all weapons away from the host and his guests. Here's a ticket, you can pick it up at that counter back there. In fact, why don't you just bring it up there, so I don't have to carry the thing. After finishing he points to the counter nobody noticed in the wall, before heading up there to watch the show. While no one's looking, he pulls a bag of holding full of Junior Mints out from underneath the counter and starts to munch.

[Zar Peter]

Zar Peter walks in and see that all the good seats are gone. So he stays at the back and try to watch the show through his pair of field glasses.

Did someone see the guy with the coffee? he wispers to the people sitting nearby.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly bursts out laughing loudly at the sticky problem on stage. "Ssshhh!" whisper various denizens watching the show. She calms down and mumbles to the field glasses guy, "He hasn't shown up yet, but watch the sticky mayhem."

[Amotis]

A loud voice comes from outside.

"WHY DO YOU ROCK SO MUCH?!"

Tires screach away.

[SDF]

A loud voice comes from outside.

"WHY DO YOU ROCK SO MUCH?!"

Tires screach away.

Ahh drive-by flattery! *gets hit by a stray compliment

[sktarq]

The flumph cringes and hides under the chair-madly looking for airbourne stones from his hiding spot before realizing that a different meaning of "rock" is being used. Embaressed he retakes his spot on top the chair fort.

[zeratul]

Zeratul realizes Vonriel is taking weapons, he walks over to curly "Could you hide all these for me? Ya never know when I might need to kill Tro- I mean a tresspasser, yes a tresspasser"

[Alarra]

Alarra conjures a glass of scotch and hands it to Trog. "Here. This should help with the stickiness, maybe." She pats the desk carefully, being unable to resist anything that whines and wants attention, before turning her attention to the question at hand.

"Well, this place here is a really good place to meet people, as I'm sure many of you can attest."

She smiles out at the cute troll in the fourth row."Weeeell... I've spent most of the last week and a half with him....soooooo....I guess something must be going right." She can't help but grin. "Actually, he's perfect and wonderful and I've never been happier."

At this point the screeching of tires interrupts her thoughts and she looks up startled and laughs. "Is that an actual question?" she giggles with a raised eyebrow.

[CurlyKitGirl]

A voice shouts out of the audience "I think it is!".
Curly then turns to Zer and says, "I'm a cat. Try the window box." She then awaits the answer to the question many have asked, either privately or openly, as an anonymous person just did.

[zeratul]

"Fine, I'll find another way to kill Tro- tresspassers. With their bar maids, and their warrior girlfriends, and their taverns and their long luxurious teeth.......Did I just say all that out loud?"(:smalltongue: )

[Castaras]

A pie nearby Zeratul scribbles down some information, and sends it somewhere. A few minutes later, a newspaper van comes speeding to a screeching halt outside the show. A newspaper delivery pie comes in, handing out newspapers to everyone.




8sp

The Daily Pie
Trog's Show back on air!

Today sees the return of the great and mighty Show, hosted by our favourite Troglodyte, Trog. Cool and collected, he's returned with what should be a greater show than before!

It's a busy night in Trogs Talk Show. The famed moddess, Alarra, has graced the show with her appearance, and so far, profits are high. It's been a while since Trog's show was on air, and his revival of it has been big news in the playground. Many famous forum members have come to watch the show. One said to us "It's been so long since he has been on stage, being humiliated by that darling Cosmo, watching the randomness of the others watching the show, and asking questions to the great forum members!". Another said "Bah, it's been too long. He should have brought this back earlier." But the overall mood is good, and the viewers are happy. This looks like it's going to be a success.

Currently, there has been the creation of the chair fort, in homage to the past pillow fort of the earlier season. Two anonymous questions have been asked, and a random question from an outsider to the show seems to have been yelled. All is good.

Or is it? Alarra was said to have been heard complaining to a friend over the phone about this show, and the popcorn is starting to fly. But what seems to be most alarming is a plot by the dreaded Zeratul to murder our gracious host, Trog. What will happen to our host? Will he die a horrible death at the hand of the so-called pyromaniac vampire of AMEN? Was he sent by these menaces from the SMBG? Will the show fall past page 3 like it did last time? Will the writer of this newspaper stop asking silly questions?

The rest of the newspaper is filled with random pages of the goings ons of Town, SMBG, the rest of Friendly Banter, and all the other sub forums.

[Zar Peter]

Zar Peter flipps a coin to the pie an buys a piece of the newspaper.

What are they writing here? Nonsens! MENACES FROM SMBG???? upps sorry menaces from smbg??? I'm from the SMBG and there are rarly any menaces!
Ermm... Zeratul, you don't really want to kill Trog, do you? And put that sword down!
Those pies! Just inventing things to sell their newspaper.

[zeratul]

"Zar You just got added to the list of people I apparently have a grudge against for no apparrent reason, because I didn't have the forthaught to think of one!" Zeratul adds his name to the list. Others on the list include David Bowie, Trog, and king louie the fourth (he knows why).

[Trog]

*Trog reaches out a sticky hand and takes the glass of scotch and sips*

Yesh thishertainwy hash taken Trog's mind off of Trog's Twoubuwws.

*sippy sip sip*

And AWWWWWWWWW! Trogsh glad ta hear it. :smallsmile:

*Faking petting the now happily burbling desk Trog does his best to scrape off the mashmallow goo as the next light blue card pops up through the slot in the desk with a *DING*

*sip sip*

Ah! Says here: "So what's is it like being a mod? Do you talk to Rich often? Do you get an expense account and a car? And where IS the secret entrance to the fabled 'mod forums'?"

*Picks teeth with a hunk of wood the size of a railroad spike*

[smellie_hippie]

*smellie_hippie wanders onto the set from stage right (audience side of the lava moat)*

Alright alright already. I heard several requests for coffee. I also got a red card from the mods about over-caffeinating the audience. But yes, the hippie hears your pleas for coffee, and I have come to answer them. *superhero-pose*

*smellie_hippie hands out complimentary mugs of Earthie-coffee* :smallamused:

I'm afraid it's gonna cost you lot this season though. You wouldn't believe the damage to my espresso machine... feathers instead of froth. And don't get me started on the...... *distracted stare* Oooooooo... Marshmallows. That reminds me of this one time at band camp... :smallamused:

[blackout]

There's lots and lots of noise coming from the back of the studio. Whooooo! Go Trog! Yeah! Whooooooo! Trog rules! :smallbiggrin:

[EmeraldRose]

An emerald dragon flies in through the large double doors, shifting to human shape mid-way through.

Trog's really got to get larger doors and chairs and such in here to make it more "other creature friendly"!

It's good to have the Show back though...I knew something was missing from the day...Hippie my good man, my usual if you please.

*ER settles down at the coffee bar to watch the Show*

[Dallas-Dakota]

Dallas walks in on the stage half asleep talking to himself

Yes,I know I shouldnt have stayed up that night. But come on!I was missing internet for 2 weeks and-

Dallas stops in midsentence when he realizes he is on a stage.

Ow.......wats going on here? Trog and Alarra having a civil conversation? Thats a new one! ow ok this is a talkshow.......

He tries to slip away away from all the staring eyes he received becouse he interupted the show and then flipped up a chair with popcorn on the side of the stage,away,far away from the lava.

[Cyrano]

D'anna attempts to enter, but is stopped by the bouncer who has apparantly been warned against him by...
*checks lists*
The entirety of humanity.

He plots a daring entrance through skylight, but just starts watching through the windows instead.

[zeratul]

Zeratul seeing Dann'a yells "Hey he's trying to learn for free!", and throws a kunai at him.

[Cyrano]

D'anna watches Dann'a get stabbed/bludgeoned/whateverthehellaKunaidoes and winces in sympathy. Then he wonders who Dann'a is, and goes back to watching.

[Mr. Moon]

Vonriel walks down the aisle to where Moon Called is sitting. "'Scuse me, ma'am, but I'm going to have to take your sword from you. After a nasty incident last season involving munchkins, the studio feels it's best to keep all weapons away from the host and his guests. Here's a ticket, you can pick it up at that counter back there. In fact, why don't you just bring it up there, so I don't have to carry the thing." After finishing he points to the counter nobody noticed in the wall, before heading up there to watch the show. While no one's looking, he pulls a bag of holding full of Junior Mints out from underneath the counter and starts to munch.

Moon Called looks up at Vonriel and gives him a little smile, shaking her head in a "Don't worry, you'll be all right," kind of fashion. He clearly must be insane, suggesting an AMENite part from her weapon.

Meanwhile, a girl apears in a poof of purple smoke, inside the window D'anna's watching from. She grabs a telescope and trains it on the stage, only to see a bumper staring at her. She lowers the telescope and frowns. "What? I'm a player." The bumper nods as though this explains everything and walks away.

[Dallas-Dakota]

Dallas starts to eat popcorn and then puts one of his hands in his pockets searching for something.

for our and ofcourse mine!Safety. I want all weapons heaped up there in a corner,pie's and chairs will not be collected

He then throws a magnet that floats around the room and then flies to the moon.(the magnet ofcourse:smalltongue: )

[Cyrano]

Grrrgh. This window is MY WINDOW, CREEPYANIMECHICK! Now you must DIE, or possibly I will hit on you for the next 15 seconds.
*D'anna uses a squid to poke a hole in the window, and then walks in.*
Hey, baby, did you fall from heaven, because I think I heard a large crash! Now, why don't we ups out of time. Seeya.

[RationalGoblin]

A tall boy walks in, precatiously stacking a massive stack of books, reading one while he stumbles into a seat.

He eventually decides to sit next to Death on a chair of his pile of books, and reads, while sneaking peeks at Death's notebook.

Each time he raises his head to look at the notebook, the boy, CFG, narrowly escapes being decapitated by Death's scythe.

"Uh, Death, sir? Could you stow your scythe on the floor or something? I admire you, but I Still Fear the Reaper."

Regardless of Death's answer, CFG keeps peering at the notebook.

[Katonta]

As D'anna breaks into the studio, some invisible nothingness walks into the unnoticed by the bouncer and stands behind Death, looking over it's shoulder at the names and chuckling to himself in a deep baritone as he reads some of the names and half-watches half-ignores the show, wondering to himself what could happen next.

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok walks in, grabs a newpaper, and shakes his head.

Crud. Zer, I can't believe you let them find out about the assassination plot. Now I'm going to have to resort to Plan B.

[Madmal]

In my opinion, Zeratul makes a horrible assasin, he can be quite obvious...

Mal suddenly spouts, revealing himself to be just at Magtok's side:smallamused:

ohhh! coffee!

Hippie, can i get a Mocha?

[EmeraldRose]

Hippie's taking a coffee break. Just help yourself, you know where everything is anyway. No double shots this time though! And NO adding your own mix!! :smallannoyed:

[Vonriel]

Hey! This is the set of Trog's talk show! Keep yer petty AMEN-related bickering outta the studio! He stows the bag of Junior Mints, and makes ready to stop any violence. We don't need a repeat of last time.

[zeratul]

zeratul goes over to magtok, "It's not like trog's even gonna read this. IT's those damn pies doing this though. We need to destroy, or eat them."

[Lord Magtok]

Magtok glares at Vonriel, and points a shiny western revolver at him.

I'll keep my petty bickering wherever I want to keep my petty bickering, kid. Leave me alone, and let me watch the show, or you'll find out why they call this beauty "The Widowmaker." :smallannoyed:

The cyborg turns to Zer.

The pies? Just umm...hmm, killing them would only attract more attention, and possibly mess up the show like the fights from last season did. Give them a big sack of loot, and tell them to make D'anna the front page guy.

[Dallas-Dakota]

my precious,I agree,indeed we should eat the pies and kill them with our teeth,eat them my precious EAT THEM!

[Zeb The Troll]

Zeb looks around, wondering why all these people are here who obviously don't have any interest in watching the show.

((Seriously, I understand RP'ing walking in and taking a seat and showing interest or getting a cup of coffee or whatnot but do we really have to turn this into an AMEN thread in the Friendly Banter forum or can we just watch and react to the questions and answers? Isn't all this nonsense about starting wars and screwing with the guests what got the last iteration shut down?))

The Troll turns to the audience member next to him and snickers while proudly waving to his gal on the stage.

I rub her feet and she won't even tell me where the secret entrance to the Mod Forums is. No way she's blurting that out here.

*waits to hear about the expense account and the car though* :smallwink:

[Dallas-Dakota]

Just listens to the show and watches the marshmallows.

[DragonLeader]

DL pokes his head in and waves, then runs back out to dodge suicide bombers, random bullets, and disgruntled supervisors.

[T'ze'hai]

T'ze'hai hands Space-is-curved some popcorn, while trying to get the attention of Smellie-hippie for some coffee. She does have her own portable coffee machine, but hat would make too much noise in here...

Then she gets an idea... Maybe I could get a question card to appear on stage, with a question of my own... (dis I say that aloud? :smallbiggrin: )

She concentrates, and then suddenly there's a strange pop on the stage desk, and a small translucent blue card hovers 1 cm above the desk: What is your gain by coming to this show, and what do you plan to do next?

[Alarra]

Alarra glances out at the antics going on in the crowd and shakes her head in slight disapproval. "Not even watching..."*mutters*

"Well hmm...you know, it really isn't all that different being a mod than a normal poster. I mean, other than the adoring fans, piles of pms every day, and extra portions of desserts. And well....Rich? No, he doesn't really come out of his cave often, just the rare sightings still."

And actually, the cars is something I've been meaning to gripe about for awhile. Wampa and Rawhide got cars, but I guess I'm just not important enough. Alarra crosses her arms in an exaggerated pout. "And um...the expense account is really small, barely enough to live on in style, really."

"And I'd tell you where the entrance is, but you know I'd then be forced to...well..no, not kill you...I don't kill....but maybe send Wampa after you. He parachutes down when you least expect it, you know." She sips at her drink.

[Castaras]

The pies are watching. And taking notes for their newspaper.

[Death, your friend the Reaper]

"Uh, Death, sir? Could you stow your scythe on the floor or something? I admire you, but I Still Fear the Reaper."

*Death gives a smile, or at least an impression of smiling, as his skull has rather set features. The scythe turns to shadows, well, not really. It became the distinct lack of light, yet what it actually turned to is a bit difficult to describe, so shadows is as good as anything. It then proceeded to change shape and appeared as a sword attached to his cloak, out of the way of CFG*

*On the notebook there was "_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ " written on it, Death was holding his quill expectantly, and the ink at the top of the page said "Fate's turn". Suddenly the letter "o" appeared, Death adds it on, and then a letter "j" appears, followed by "e", "b", "l", "o", "g" and then a "f". This "f" was quickly attempted to be erased, yet Death had ignored the invisible hand that tried to scribble it out and add "s" instead, and was drawing a picture of a man with with a noose around his head, suspended in the air with the noose held by pieces of wood next to the uncompleted word puzzle of "Joe Blogg _"*

There are no second chances in the game I and Fate play.

*As Death adds the s to the end, 40 seconds pass until some chap who had been hired to switch on the applause sign collapses of a heart attack, due to, of course, unrelated reasons.*

[Archonic Energy]

The Dark Archon warps in from his buisness trip to Aiur quietly & takes a seat

He then procedes to hold up a sign, being careful not to obscure anyone's view.

it reads:
"Psst Trog. are you still taking questions?"

[evisiron]

evisiron looks into the murky depths of the free coffee.

"Of course. Caffine, the gateway to becoming a Frenzied Bezerker..."

Realising this is not the place to test the truth of this legend, evisiron seals the cup and slips it into his backpack, before shifting his attention back to the stage.

[WingedCheetah]

WingedCheetah flies down to grab some coffee, adding some powdered cocoa-mix, and pausing by T'ze'hai for some popcorn, thanking her and introducing herself, before flying back up to the beam with DLD.

"It'd be fun to be a mod, but I just don't think I've got the patience in me for the hard stuff." She watched D'anna sneak in with a squid and licked her teeth. Yummy squids.

[MrEdwardNigma]

"Hey, Hippie, riddle me this, what's not in my hand? That's right! A large ice-cold mocca frappucinno with caramel sirup and extra cream, shaken, not stirred, and with those little crunched nuts on top!" MrEdwardNigma says to the coffee vendor. He then takes the required drink from him (wether he has it or not...) and starts slurping from it as he reads the newspaper.
"Phuh, do they let pies cover the news these days? Tssssss..."

[Jibar]

Two koalas hold up a sign together reading "Take it off!", while another lifts up a bucket of ice cream proudly, and one more has a sign with a curious amount of hieroglyphics. Finally Jibar holds aloft a sign reading "Where is the loo?", until a koala happily points him towards it and promptly falls into the row in front.

[Trog]

Wampa got a car but you didn't eh? Bummer. Trog could go for the extra desserts though. So how do you get that? Do you just flash the mod badge and do your Telly Savalis Player Club Gold Card impression, right?

*Looks directly at the camera* I wonder if anyone in the audience is old enough to even remember that. Oh well. Can't be bothered.

*Finishes picking teeth and notices the desk seems to be keeping a close eye on the stake. Waves it back and forth a bit.*

Go fetch girl! *throws the piece of wood. The desk bounds after it with a YIP and catches it midair right over the lava pit. It hangs there stupidly for a moment before plumeting to a firey death. Flames leap high out of the pit and stir up the studio air currents. They lift a few newspaper pages which get caught by the fans and are blown into Trog's face. He grabs them and begins to crumple then stops and quickly scans the front page.

Hmm... it seems Trog has a vampire assassin after him. Kinda wish Trog still had a desk to hide behind. The stake would have been handy too come to think of it. *Trog presses a button on his chair and a small sign in the corner of the studio changes to read: NOW SERVING ASSASSIN #: 74*

*A trapdoor right under Trog's feet opens up and Cosmo rises with a blue card in hand and says *DING*

...

Trog thought the desk was doing that.

Nope.

So you're just part of the backstage studio magic... like the guys who open the doors on Star Trek?

Apparantly. :smallannoyed:

TROG DISBELIEVES YOU!

*Cosmo disappears with a *POP*

Wow. Didn't think that actually would work.

*reads card while workers haul in a new desk*

"How did you become a mod? Are you guys signed on all the time?"

EDIT: Yes. Still taking PMed questions. I'll ask each person 5 (or 5 volleys of questions as the case may be) :smallsmile:

[Vonriel]

Vonriel walks down and taps T'ze'hai on the shoulder. "I don't know if our scaly host will answer your self-created question or not, but next time, send it backstage, then they'll decide if it should be asked." Noticing Death standing there with a sword, Vonriel looks rather torn. "Take his sword/scythe, and risk an early death, or let him keep it, and violate the new security precautions.." He decides on the latter, and walks back up to his bag of Junior Mints. After all, it's not like anyone but himself will enforce them. "Hmm, I wonder what her answer to this one'll be.. I've always been curious.. He continues mumbling, even around the candy in his mouth.

(( If you wanna send in questions, just PM them to Trog. I think that was also one of the reasons the last show died; no questions were being sent in, and Trog was making them all up as he went. I assume you're still taking questions, Trog..? ))

[Alarra]

"Oooh...I....poor desky" Alarra watches sadly as the wood sinks beneath the lava. After a moment of silent for her nearly departed new friend, she turns her attention to the questions.

"Well, actually....the fact that I'm signed on all the time has far less to do with the fact that I'm a mod than with the fact that I'm addicted to internet forums and don't really do much else." Alarra laughs.

"And how I became a mod...well, that's kind of an interesting story actually. Those of you that have been around for awhile might remember that Gorby, Lilly, myself and Grey Watcher all became mods at the same time. Apparently back in 2005, Rich was actually allowing people to apply for the position, and those other three did. Now, I....being my usually completely unobservant self...had no idea he was even looking for mods, until I found a pm out of the blue asking me if I would be one. Well, it certainly took me by surprise. But I guess I'd been noticed for my involvement in the Community World Building Forum. Hey....Speaking of that....Have you all gone over and looked at what we're doing there? We're getting really close to being done and it's a great setting, so if you haven't you should." *shameless plug*

Alarra looks at the new desk. "Is this one friendly?"

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly uses a spare newspaper to pad up her chair. On hearing that Zer is planning to assassinate the Presenter of this cool show she edges away from him. "Should I send in a question? Problems, problems, problems." Finally noticing the coffee guy she edges up to him and asks for "One full fat milk with extra cream and a small piece of chocolate cake please." After receiving her order she carries it back; even though she's a cat, and has no hands.
Returning to her seat she watches the Host and Guest with amazing directness, listening to everything.

[Trog]

So... wait, wait. You got a PM asking you to be a mod?! Was it from Rich? Did you squeal like a fan girl? Trog would have... though perhaps in Trog's case that acts more as a deterrant than anything else. Trog would expect something more along the lines of: "Thanks a hell of a lot for sucking up 172 threads worth of my precious server space. I curse you." Or something to that effect.

*lights Coffin Nail. Puffs*

And Trog's familiar with the world as Trog did some cartography for the world. Designed the Alarran Sea in fact. since then Trog's phone has been riging off the hook. Some guy with an obscene sounding name longer than Trog's arm wanting him to help him design fjords or some such. Trog couldn't be bothered.

And er... Trog's not sure about this "new" desk. Trog's never seen it before. It does look pretty well used though. Probably the desk of some old wizard or something. Evil wizard knowing Trog's luck. And this show's budget. Trog'll probably NOT drink whatever is in the bottom drawer of this one. Considering the last one was animated there's really no telling if that really was wood grain alcohol or some sort of desk version of a trucker's buddy.

*smacks tongue distastefully. Looks around.*

Er... hmm... well seeing as how Trog just disbelieved Cosmo into...er... whereever... Trog's really not sure how to get more... um...

*Trog's vest opens and the large creature which hand rolls Trog's cigarettes reaches out from the extradimentional space within the cigarette case with a huge scaly hand and hands over a card.*

Hugo? Since when did you start getting cards?
...
What do you mean you signed up for DSL?! Do you have any idea how much that costs Trog? Bad Hugo! Er... wait... can you er... access those... er... you know... those adult sites?
...
Trog forgives you. Trog calls next turn.

*snaps shut mithril cigarette case and flourishes the final question of the episode. Reads:*

"What do you foresee happening with the Tears of Blood subforum once the setting has been completed? Will you start working on another setting?"

[Katonta]

After hearing the question from the gracious host, The invisible nothingness decides to give his full attention to the show, as he had indeed been wondering that same question.

[MrEdwardNigma]

MrEdwardNigma tosses away his paper (which probably lands on some unfortunate member of the audience), follows it up with his half empty coffee cup (which, as tradition wants it, will probably land on that exact same person's head) and perks up his ears to hear the answer to this next question.

[Zar Peter]

Zar Peter looks up from his coffee to hear the answer of the question. He only once posted in the Tears of Blood Forum but it was his first post ever here.

[Lord Iames Osari]

Iames smiles to himself at the wave of silence spreading through the crowd. Looks like I asked the question on everyone's mind.

[sktarq]

The flumph winces heavily at the talk to the Tears of Blood setting world build and finds someplace to hide in embarrasment. Under to coffee machine.

[Mr. Moon]

Moon Called rolls her eyes at the talk of an AMEN plot. Can't go anywhere without people thinking I'm gonna stab someone." She mutters a few choice words in undercommen and slumps down in her seat.

[Space-Is-Curved]

Space munches on the popcorn quietly. I wonder if Trog can get me Slartibartfast's autograph... She asks, more to herself than anyone around her.

[Lord Iames Osari]

Iames continues waiting for Alarra's answer.

[WingedCheetah]

WingedCheetah yawns and stretches out on the beam. She's curious to hear the answer, but realizes that she's so new to these forums and still has a bit of exploring to do, as she has no idea what they're referring to.

[RAGE KING!]

The King bashes through a window on his manticore and, noticing Death, quietly spits a mouth dart at him, which somehow turns into slartibartfast's autograph, and lands in space's lap. He then jumps off his manticore, which settles onto DLD's perch. He then walks to the chair fort, and, grumbling, looks around in his pockets, and finding no handy scroll of reduce person, Stoops, and enters the fort.


(He's a permanently enlarged goliath)

[Lord Iames Osari]

Iames continues waiting.

[CurlyKitGirl]

As does the cat. "Prrrrrhaps Alarra's doing Modly stuff."

[Cyrano]

D'anna sneaks in and plasters a few posters around the walls for fun. Then he leaves and continues watching from the outside. Plus he kicks a cat. The jerk.
http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l292/FlyAngel3/Cool%20stuff/th9bea2070.jpg

[Arameus]

"Darn, darn, darn..."

Due to awful traffic, Arameus couldn't make it until the end of the interview after all. Keeping his eyes locked on the crocked host and his lovely guest, he only too late realizes that the seat he rushed to is just to the right of some monstrous, scaled atrocity. While not having a fear of snakes, Arameus grips his armrest and clenches his teeth. Don't make eye contact. Resist urge to stroke the squamous portion. Especially resist urge to stroke humanoid, feminine portion. Resist at all costs urge to inquire how in the world its lady parts are configured.

"G-g-great sh-show, huh? Are you a f-f-fan?

[Mr. Moon]

The girl looks up at the sky and says something the gathered characters won't hear. Other players will hear "Allara's Player! Post, darnit!"

[RAGE KING!]

Hoping that alarra answers soon, the king pulls a digram of a door out of his pocket, and starts muttering to himself about weak points, and bonuses to break checks.

[MrEdwardNigma]

MrEdwardNigma gets impatient and his attention starts to fade, so he starts asking rando members of the audience questions.
"Riddle me this. A kid and his dad are in a car, but the dad's drunk and crashes it into a tree. Two ambulances come and pick up both victims, the dad and the kid, and both are taken to different hospitals. The kid arives at the hospital and is put into surgery, but the surgeon refuses to operate on him, because you can't operate on your son! How is this possible?"

[Lord Magtok]

"The surgeon's his mom."

[MrEdwardNigma]

"Damn you! You heard that one before, haven't you? All right, try this: what's fuzzy, cute and small? And it's not a kitty!"

[Alarra]

(I promise that I will post a response to this tomorrow. Forgive me my inactivity.)

[RAGE KING!]

a bunny. and definitely not my RAGE!:furious:

[Cyrano]

Some hairy guys disembodied torso?

[Mr. Moon]

"Me?" Suggest the girl, and Moon Called rolls her eyes.

"Why do you follow me around?"

The girl shrugs. "It's fun. Your life is far more interesting then mine." She pauses, and sighs. "No, wait, I'm not fuzzy. But I do have a tail." She gains a fox like tail in a puff of purple smoke.

[EmeraldRose]

The dragon-in-human form stretches after a long period of inactivity, and goes to get a refill of coffee before the interview resumes.

No worries my friends, the show will go on...it always does. :smallwink:

[Serpentine]

"G-g-great sh-show, huh? Are you a f-f-fan?
"First time I've watched, actually. Came in too late last season, it was all full up. Popcorn? By the way, my eyes are up here."

[MrEdwardNigma]

The riddling wizard looks around with a smug look on his face, because no-one guessed his riddle. The fact that most people weren't even trying doesn't seem to bother him the slightest.
"It was secretly a kitty anyways!" he exclaims, and then leans back in his chair, waiting for people to demand an encore from him.

[RAGE KING!]

Realizing that he'd never be caught dead worrying about wooden doors, the king throws away his diagram of a wooden door and hits the riddling wizard with it.

[Arameus]

Arameus is surprised by the casual nature of the horrible creatures address, and realizes with embarrassment that he has indeed been leering at her scales! Honestly, though, what does she expect? If he runs, he probably becomes prey. If he stays, he could somehow anger the monster into devouring him, as Lamias tend to do. "Wait, is she a Lamia or a Naga? Or maybe a Marilith? Hey, is she related to Kary? That would be so cool! I'm staring at her scales again! Eyes forward, you simple creature!" To his relief, though, he was soon distracted from his possibly fatal curiosity by Alarra delivering her answer.

[StickMan]

Stickman comes in and sits down. Trying to get his 3 animated magic missiles to stop flying around his body. Thinks to him self "I know I love magic missile but animating these things was the biggest mistake of my life, hope the light from them does not get me thrown out. "

[Alarra]

So... wait, wait. You got a PM asking you to be a mod?! Was it from Rich? Did you squeal like a fan girl?

Alarra laughs, "It was from Rich, and I was very excited about it. I doubt I squealed exactly, but I certainly grinned and felt honored."


And Trog's familiar with the world as Trog did some cartography for the world. Designed the Alarran Sea in fact. since then Trog's phone has been riging off the hook. Some guy with an obscene sounding name longer than Trog's arm wanting him to help him design fjords or some such. Trog couldn't be bothered.

"Oh, I remember that. You did a lovely job on that map. You should come back really, they're doing a lot of cartography work now. And we always need art. Not to mention that someone making wisecracks might lighten things up a bit. But gosh...there's so many maps now, I feel like we could publish an atlas" Alarra looks slightly startled when Hugo appears, but covers it quickly.


"What do you foresee happening with the Tears of Blood subforum once the setting has been completed? Will you start working on another setting?"
"You know, I really don't know. I mean, I can see us continuing to refine and add details to this setting until there are so many supplementary books that it's unwieldy, that's the direction it's currently headed. I don't think we've discussed starting another one. I suppose that's a bridge we'll cross when that happens."

[EmeraldRose]

*EmeraldRose settles back in with a fresh coffee in time to hear the answers and waits for the next question*

These seats really are nice, I wonder if Trog had them redone during the hiatus...

[smellie_hippie]

*EmeraldRose settles back in with a fresh coffee in time to hear the answers and waits for the next question*

These seats really are nice, I wonder if Trog had them redone during the hiatus...

*smellie_hippie tips his hat to the Dragon who appreciates the finer things in life*

Ahhhhhhhh... coffee..... *contented smirk* :smallsmile:

As for the seats, I think Trog did reupholster... complete with sovereign glue to prevent pillow fights. And if you look over there, *points* that's a decible meter to help maintain random volume control...

[Trog]

Hmm... Trog's gonna just picture you squealing like a fangirl anyways. Makes Trog feel better about his own supposed reaction. Plus... hey... squealing fangirls. Can't go wrong there. :smallamused:

Come back? Trog doesn't know if Trog should. A campaign setting with a name like "Tears of Blood" seems more in need of some emo goth angsty people. Trog doesn't know how to cheer those people up. Aside from medication. Or a cameo by My Chemical Romance or something. Maybe that Robert Smith guy. Though if he transforms into a giant robot version of himself it might sort of ruin the whole feel of the world. Either way it sounds touchy.

So no new setting yet eh? Hmm... Well yeah you could keep putting out supplements. OR what you could do is put out a second edition where you get rid of a few key things and only add a couple of new things and nifty new box. Trog hears that worked wonders for the some Realm settings whose name Trog has conveniently Forgotten.

*puffs*

Well, Alarra my dear it was lovely having you on the show.

*smootches her hand in a gentlemanly like fashion*

Except for that bit about Trog being drunk and forgetting the show. You'll be hearing from Trog's pack of high priced lawyers with the Opposition Crusher prestige class about that one. :smallannoyed:

The lovely Alarra, ladies and gentlemen! :smallbiggrin:

*waits for a moment and then realizes that Cosmo is still gone and fills in for him*

Er... uh... this thing on? Okay... Stay Tuned... Trog's next guest will be Smellie_Hippie. :smallsmile: Oops. Trog meant: :smallannoyed: . Sheesh Trog pays that gnome for doing this crap? Seriously?

[Alarra]

Alarra grins and moves off of the stage to sit in the audience, next to the troll.

[Zar Peter]

Zar Peter applauds Alarra!

Smellie Hippie? Sure, it will be interesting but who will serve the coffee instead? OK, I think I can look for a seat in the break.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Curly applauds as Alarra leaves the stage. "Wow. Smellie_Hippie's going to be on. Better get some full-fat milk with extra cream and chocolate sprinkles now then." The cat hops off her chair and runs over to the coffee stall to get some drinks before he goes on stage.
The cat asks the Hippie for the above drink.

[Death, your friend the Reaper]

*Death applauded, his claps causing strange absences of sound, until he quickly gets back to his notebook and takes a few more notes.

Next up was a good ol' smellie hippie, who tells good jokes if he recalled correctly, and Death has a rather trusted memory*

[Jibar]

Two koalas wolf whistle while the Cat-Muffin speaks in Italian. Bad italian. But congratulatory italian none the less.
He then hops over and plops himself down on Serpentine's head.
"Evening Serpy. Wonderful show, huh?"

[DarkLightDragon]

*DLD moves around the beam a bit then settles down again, once more paying attention to the show*

[Serpentine]

Serp' picks off a crumb that just fell on her shoulder, examines it, and tastes. She then holds up her popcorn within Cat-Muffin reach.
"Pretty good. Don't know much about Hippy, so this should be interesting... May I introduce you to... this guy that just sat next to me that keeps looking at me funny? Guy that just sat next to me and keeps looking at me funny, this is Jibar. He's a cat muffin. Don't ask how he breeds. And could you please scratch that coil just at your ankle?"

[Archonic Energy]

*gives a standing ovation.... and then realises is alone and is being rather loud*
... :smallredface:

[smellie_hippie]

... so that's a full-fat milk with cream? Oh right, right... I forgot the sprinkles. Now lets see here... two triple espressos, a raspberry cappuccino, six black coffees...
*smellie_hippie looks up at the catwalk*
Hey! Could someone turn that spotlight off?:smallannoyed: What do you mean 'I'm next'? I drink coffee here all the time. The show? I'm the next chest?:smallconfused: Oh guest! I'm the next g.... :smalleek:

*blink blink*

Oh my. :smallredface:

*smellie_hippie hangs an out to lunch sign (http://static.flickr.com/55/131550967_19e848da4a.jpg) and crosses over the lava moat to sit on stage*

[CurlyKitGirl]

"Phew. That was close." The cat picks up the drink and walks contentedly back to her seat.
This is unusual as she doesn't have hands, thumbs or any actual way to carry things.

[Jibar]

"Howdy strange scary stary person. Ooo, alitteration. Don't worry about the popcorn, the koalas and me overloaded on eucalyptus before we came. Say, isn't that the guy who makes coffee? Coffee is bad. It makes people hyper. Speaking of hyper, I shouldn't have eaten all that sugar."
The Cat-Muffin grins broadly.

[Trog]

*The studio lights dim and a short silhouette can be seen stumping angrily across the darkened stage. It climbs up behind a short podium and slaps on some ear-goggles. Suddenly the lights come up in the small mock up of Azure City in the background behind the host's desk and a silhouette of a frilled lizard can be seen quaffing from a bottle of something undoubtedly alcoholic and arguing with another figure in a hard hat. A spotlight appears overhead of the podium and Cosmo the gnome can be seen looking grumpier than ever.*

From Azure City... Where I'm STILL trying to get mileage compensation from my return trip from the land of disbelief... it's Trog's Talk Show. :smallannoyed: And now here's your cheap-ass host... Trog. :smallsigh:

*The lights come up and Trog takes one last pull before setting the empty bottle on the desk of some ancient dark wizard he has recently procured.

Look! Trog doesn't care what your union says about it Trog wants a slot cut right here for cards.

Look here mister uh... *looks at a papers on clipboard* Troog. I gots rules I need to follah jus like youse guys. Section 14 of my ah charter clearly states no messin wif miscel-ah-any-us magical items like wot dis is here. No can do Mr. Troog.

*Sigh* Fine. Trog will hire scabs to do it or something. Shoo. Trog has a show to do.

*Trog ushers the worker gnome off the stage hurredly then zips back to his desk.*

Hey folks! We're back! :smallbiggrin: And Cosmo too it would seem. So Cosmo what are things like in the land of Disbelief?

You wouldn't believe me if I told you. :smallannoyed:

*looks at camera* Trog shoulda seen that one coming.

Anyhoo we've got a wonderful show lined up for you tonight. Our next guest is a well recognized expert of earth and grounds in general. Please welcome to the stage the wonderfully pungent and ever hip smellie_hippie! :smallbiggrin:

**APPLAUSE**

[smellie_hippie]

Thank you. :smallredface: I've been a leech on fan of your show for an entire season forever! :smallbiggrin:

*smellie_hippie eyes the new desk suspiciously* :smallconfused:

This one isn't going to jump or bite or anything... is it?

[evisiron]

"Scab work... this is an orcs time to shine!

Drawing his sword, evisiron rushes towards the stage, intending to slice a card gap in the table. However, nearing the lava moat he remembers how animate the previous desk was.

Not wanting to disrupt the show for the other listeners, evisiron skids to a halt before reaching the stage, gesturing with his hands about 'scab work' and 'desk modification' and awaiting some approval from Trog.

[Vonriel]

Vonriel clears out a seat for himself. Unfortunately, in doing so, he got rid of anyone he could talk to, so he instead just muses out loud. You know, how did that bus-thing get across the moat? And why would Trog have it as a guest? Hmm.. He shrugs, and settles back with his Junior Mints to watch the show.

[Trog]

Er... well there seems to be some issue with the desk Trog guesses. Right now Trog has an agreement with it that Trog will just set his drinks on it and it won't blow up or whatever. Trog senses it is an uneasy truce at best.

*The desk growls demonically as Trog sets his drink down on it and quickly yanks back his hand.*

How Trog is gonna get a slot carved in this thing Trog doesn't... er... Sorry hold on a second Trog has to conduct a litlle business.

*Trog starts making all sorts of silent undercommon guestures with his arms and hands at the anxious orc in the front row. For those skilled enough to make it out Trog says something roughly like: "Chop open desk while Trog talks, Trog pay you voluptuously. Frankfurters. Buttocks."

Trog's undercommon's a bit rusty, admittedly but Trog thinks that got the point across roughly.

So anyways back to the show. So hippie it's good to finally have you here on stage. Trog thouroughly enjoyed your coffee last season and looks forward to being thoroughly caffeinated soon.

*Cosmo pops up from under the desk and hands Trog a blue card and quickly disappears.*

You know Trog always used to laugh at all those bald gnome between the legs jokes... It's not really as funny as all that in real life. More... creepy.

*flourishes card and reads*

"So do the other pirates ever object to your incense burning or singing Kubb-by-yah or any of that?"

[zeratul]

Zeratul walks up to the stage, Smellie I need a tall carmel frap asap. Thanks.

[smellie_hippie]

So anyways back to the show. So hippie it's good to finally have you here on stage. Trog thouroughly enjoyed your coffee last season and looks forward to being thoroughly caffeinated soon.

"So do the other pirates ever object to your incense burning or singing Kubb-by-yah or any of that?"

*smellie_hippie quickly tosses to useless mugs of water off the desk, avoiding the pointy bits, and replaces them with large cups of Ethiopian Yrggachef* :smallwink:

Cheers! Now lets see here... 'other pirates objecting to incense and Kubb songs'... Well, have you actually ever been on a pirate ship for any length of time? :smallconfused: Salty air, sweaty deck-hands and excessive amounts of rum. I won't even get into the shanghaid recruits who have a low alcohol tolerance... there's a reason they 'swab the decks' every day. :smallyuk:

Now my singing... that's a different story. It's is surprising how easily 'Yo ho! Yo ho!' can be substituted with 'Kubb Stick, cursed Kubb'. *throws a humorous wink at the Southeast OOTSers* :smallamused:
Although I must admit that there have been numerous times I have requested the Captain put up some chicken wire to avoid bludgeoning from hurled bottles...:smalleek:

[Arameus]

To his horror, the monster has read his thoughts despite ihs admittedly amateur attempts at discretion. With the realization that the eared, tailed muffin is indeed a living, speaking creature, the simple Kentuckian loses all hope in his ability to comprehend his surroundings.

The creature has made a demand. Refusal means death, possibly from being eaten alive. Acceptance means contact. Faced with the lesser of the two terrors, his trembling hand reaches out and commences scratching the monstrosity. Ooh, smooth. Smelly Hippie is cool, a real friendly fellow, It'll be good to get to know him

[Trog]

Mmmm Ethiopian Yirgacheffe. Nice. *sips* Er... not to potentially out hippie you but this IS fair trade isn't it? :smallconfused: Trog hates to think he was exploiting skinny African people. *sips again* Although for coffee this good Trog might make an exception.

And no Trog's never spent much time on a pirate ship, really. Though if Trog did Trog would recommend stapling down some large pieces of cardboard to the deck so the shanghai'd crew members and drunks wouldn't make too much of a mess on the decks. That's what Trog used to do for house parties anyways. That and that chickenwire thingy. Though that was mainly to slow the entrance of the town guards who often came to break up the fun. That and the booby traps. Cuz usually some of the bustier gals set out front would slow them down some more.

*Another card pops up and Trog nabs it.*

Which is better? Country or Western music? :smalltongue:

[smellie_hippie]

*Another card pops up and Trog nabs it.*

Which is better? Country or Western music? :smalltongue:

*smellie_hippie looks a little concerned at the dramatic pause of silence*

Did you just hear that? I thought it sounded like everyone took a deep breath.... This isn't some weighty question that holds the Universe in balance or anything, is it? :smalleek:

*smellie_hippie starts to sweat a little and clears his throat*

Country or Western, country or western.... country is pretty good, but western just has that hostorical connotation. But then again, I drive a Volkswagon, not a pickup truck... Chevy or Ford. Do I even qualify to answer this question? :smalleek:

... we're on a mission from God (http://www.8notes.com/wiki/images/300px-BluesBrothers.jpg) ...

:biggrin: Thanks Elwood! We've got both kinds Trog... Country and Western! :amused:

[Serpentine]

Smelly Hippie is cool, a real friendly fellow, It'll be good to get to know him
"Ahhhh... thanks, little to the left. Indeed. Not big on country or western though, can't tell the dif-"
Cut off by a bevy of "shhhhh"s, Serpentine turns red and shrinks into herself a little, muttering apologies.

[T'ze'hai]

I do wonder how a hippie can be that good in making coffee... T'ze'hai realises that she has no coffee. And is desperatly in need of a cup of that godly juice. Preferably Ethiopian, to honour her origins... She looks around her for a possible source.
I also do wonder if I could get a nice cup of coffee, like, right now?

[Zar Peter]

Yes, this answer and this movie came in my mind, too as I read the question.

[Castaras]

The pies carry on scribbling down notes in their little notepad, watching Hippie and Trog.

[RAGE KING!]

hoping that his minotaur isn't about to be eaten by that big silver dragon, the king wonders what would happen if he threw his greataxe into the desk. he then reflects that if he had his boulder, he would throw it...but he didnt bring it...and he apparently doesnt have a handy scroll of boulder-calling.

the king never finds scrolls he needs...:frown:

[Zeb The Troll]

Zeb applauds at the skilled usage of reference to answer the age old question then wonders also about who's serving the coffee while hippie is on stage. :smallconfused:

In dire need of some caffeinated essence of the divine, he decides to see if he can help out. He stands up as quietly as he can and makes his way to the aisle. When he gets there he tries to signal to hippie what he's doing so that he doesn't worry about what's going on.

Making his way up the aisle he notices Vonriel collecting weapons and, thinking this a good idea, checks his own champion's sword with him.

Gonna see if I can help out with the coffee stand while hippie's up there.

With that he steps behind the counter, pours himself a cup of house blend, and does his best to keep up with the orders that come in.

[Vonriel]

Vonriel takes the sword from Zeb, walks up to the hole in the wall, and hands it to a golem. Don't worry, you'll get it back. In the meantime, they make for handy weaponry for the golems. He grins and heads back to his seat.

[Alarra]

Alarra follows the troll over to the coffee stand. "You know how to make a white chocolate mocha, cutie?"

[Zeb The Troll]

Do I? I'm no barrista, barrister, coffee guy like him, but I can make a mocha, doll. :smallwink:

Whips up a large sized bowl of said mocha and hands it to Alarra.

Here you go.

[Alarra]

"I.....hmm..." Alarra looks at the bowl of coffee and froth.
I just wanted a little cup....how does one drink this anyway?
"Thank you, love."
Alarra kisses him lightly on the cheek, drops some money in the jar on the counter, and wanders back to her seat to try to figure out the best way to drink a bowl of mocha.

[Castaras]

One of the pies watching Alarra and Zeb scribbles another few notes down, before turning back to watch Trog and Smellie Hippie.

[smellie_hippie]

*smellie_hippie gives a 'thumbs up' sign to Zeb for taking care of business, and glances sidelong at Alarra. He mouths the word "b-o-w-l"? :smallconfused: *

*smellie_hippie checks to see if Trog is still breathing, and remembers that audience par-ti-ci (say it, say it!) (http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/41/002_3422~The-Rocky-Horror-Picture-Show-Posters.jpg) -pation is a necessary component of the show.:smallamused: He hands several blank blue note cards out amongst the audience as a cue to send some questions to Trog...*

[T'ze'hai]

T'ze'hai graps a blue card and starts scribbling away...
Tell me all about coffee! How many different types can you make, how do you know how, where do you get your stuff, and most importantly: why coffee?
She stops for some seconds to think and goes off again:
What is your favorite coffee? What kind of coffee would you consider yourself to be?
When the card is absolutely full (front and back:smallbiggrin: ) she stops, stands up and with some difficulties gets herself to the lava to hand the card over or at least let it flow gently over to the stage and Trog, hoping she didn't overdo it :smallredface:

[sktarq]

The flumph comes out of hiding and perches back on the chair fort....One eyestalk however seems focused on the coffee being served....ponders how to drink coffee with aberant physiology.

[WingedCheetah]

WingedCheetah looks at her blue card. Whether she flew down to grasp it or it flew up to meet her is unsure, but it now resides in her paws.

And she had Questions Block.

She really couldn't think of what to ask, and wasn't sure what to do with the blank card, so she ate it while she waited for someone to ask something that would be far greater than anything she could think up at the moment.

[MrEdwardNigma]

MrEdwardNigma takes his blue card, thinks a bit, and starts scribbling on it, occasionally looking over his shoulder to see if anyone's watching. When he's done, he sends his note over backstage.

[evisiron]

Evisiron notices the 'go ahead' from Trog, and with a leap, jumps to the stage. With a battlecry, he holds his sword point down and drives it into the desk. Sap begins to bleed from the card shaped wound, and the desk prepares to attack! However, evisiron smashes the hilt of his sword into the desk, causing it to stagger before passing out from the blunt trauma. With it sitting still, it could almost pass for a normal desk.

With a sweep of his hand, evisiron clears the sap from the card slot, and slides a blue card into it. It seems to be resting gently until it is needed. With a quick thumbs up to Trog, evisiron leaps from the stage and heads back to his seat.

"My work here is done...for now.

[Serpentine]

Still cowed by the "shoosh"es, Serpentine claps shyly at the drama.

[RAGE KING!]

The king stands up and begins cheering the guy who attacked the desk, but realizes that nobody else is, and sits down, trying to make himself as small as possible, and wondering if anybody noticed the blue card his manticore had sent in.

[Arameus]

Arameus only half notices the mass confusion around him, contemplating his grim situation: "Do I keep scratching? Will I be instructed to stop? If it continues too long, will she become enraged? If I scratch in the wrong place, might it be taken 'that way?'" Breathing and heartbeat become faster and faster as the thousands of possible courses of action that could lead to being eaten alive seem to become more and more inevitable. "Scratch? Run? Eat. Snake. Esca- ru- swa- sc- *huik!* Poor kid couldn't handle it. He blacks out in his seat.

[Vonriel]

Vonriel sees the confused kid sitting over by Serpentine, who has magically transformed into a leprechaun, black out. Laughing, he turns back towards his blank card, and immediately stops when he realizes his mind is just as blank.

[EmeraldRose]

*In attempting to make sense of the chaos...the dragon shifts shape in the midst of the show*

Ah well, it appears hippie would like some questions sent in...hmm...:smallamused:

*considers*

[Jibar]

Jibar nudges Serpy.
"Your backscratch is dead."
He gestures towards the collapsed Arameus.
"Take his wallet."

[RAGE KING!]

The king examines her sexy new body, and leaves the den to sneak into the front row.

[Dryken]

*enters and finds a seat in the back. Coughs quietly*

[Serpentine]

Serpentine jumps and glances down at the fellow. She looks rather confused for a moment, as she tests the temperature of the air in case he overheated. Finding it to be a reasonably comfortable temperature, she leans over him starts to fan his face with her program (which a moment before belonged to the person in the seat in front), concerned.
"Jibar, can you get a cold drink or something? I heard his breathing and heartbeat quicken, but I figured it was just all the excitement on stage... I wish he'd told me scratching was so arduous for him..."
She peters out into worried mutterings.

[Mongo 900 B.C]

*a rattling noise comes from the doors**Boom!!* An Orc rolls in with a hot dog stand and moves the cart toward the front of the room and curves near the lavapit corner it says Mongos hot doogs* The orc seemed to be mongo pulls out a lawn chair and flips on the cooker switch*ooo lot o people ere ant wait to see rest of show*mongo had been secretly watching from the door window saw the coffe ran off and came back with his cart*
http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z211/Lane12345678910/Mongoshotdogcart.png

[Amotis]

((OOC: Random question: how does one choose who gets to be interviewed? Do we vote or does good ol' TrogTrog decide? I'm sorry, I'm a bit out of the loop. :smalleek: ))

[Vonriel]

I believe you ask Trog, then you're put in at the end of the list. As it cycles through, he either makes up questions (which is why the old thread died, Send in questions, people!) or uses questions people have sent in, and asks the person being interviewed said questions. After a few, I think Alarra had five(?), he switches to the next person.

[Amotis]

Oh okay, I'll add my name to the list and send in a question.

[Mongo 900 B.C]

*you here silent snoring as mongo falls alseep to the bubbling gnoise of the hot dog cooker*

[Jibar]

The Cat-Muffin goes to the stand, picks up a hot coffeee and hands it Serp, then busies himself with Arameus' pockets.
Two koalas are busy climbing on top of the coffee stand meanwhile, and one proclaims himself king by promptly pushing the other one off. He then puts a tub of ice cream on his head and waves his arms around, pretending he's a plane.

[Serpentine]

Serpentine takes the coffee and goes to splash a little on his face. She stops in time, pauses, and stares significantly at Jibar.
"I believe I said cold. And stop that, you're leaving crumbs everywhere.

[Jibar]

"That is cold. See, it's in a blue cup. Blue means cold. That's science that is. You know, I reckon I could fit in here..."
Over the other side of the room, a koala who had got quite into being a plane has tried to fly, getting about a foot forward, and is now stuck upside down because he landed on the ice cream tub helmet.

[Serpentine]

"I'm not sure. Maybe I should dip you in it and you can tell me for sure."
The tip of her tail rests on the gentleman's forehead, feeling his temperature. She glances up from gently patting his cheek at the stage, to check whether a new card has popped up yet.

[Mongo 900 B.C]

*Pop Pop the hot dog cooker pops some grease in mongos direction*OWWWW!!!! *THUD!*Mongo scrambles himself to gether and fixes him a hotdog with chili*gee taking long time for questions *Pop Pop* OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

[Arameus]

A familiar voice is heard. "Hey! You, moron guy!"

"A- Are you Jesus?"

"Now isn't that typical of your self-importance. Thinking you had a heart attack when you just passed out. No, I'm your inner self; I reveal you as you are and teach you a valuable lesson, idiot."

"You're a real jerk! I bet you don't make many friends."

"Now isn't that something to think about? he hears as the studio fades back in.

"Oooh... My face burns really badly... And I think someone stole my keys..."

[Dallas-Dakota]

After being to the town and getting himself a drink in trogs tavern he returns with loads of booze and popcorn for everyone.

so? wats up?

(btw mongo 900 b.c. you might want to put some of the things in your signature into a spoiler)

[Serpentine]

"I wonder what's taking Trog so long to ask the next question? Dammit Jibar, you've put a chip in hi- I think he's coming round! He's coming round I said. Put that back! ...uh."
She looks down at the cup and back up as Arameus' eyes flutter open.
"Um... would you like a cup of coffee?

[Jibar]

"Hey, keys. Jingle jangle."
Noticing Arameus getting up, Jibar panics and throws the keys across the room.
"Ummm... I sooo did not just do that."

[Calamity]

Stumbling in, Calamity looks for a seat.

It's started? What? They're on the second guest already!? Oh, that's the last time I hire those lunatics, adventuring party and they can't do simple delivery quests!

Finding a seat, he sits down.

Hmm, if all that madness starts again, I should probably take precautions. Protection from Chaos!

A red shield surronds Calamity and then explodes with a loud bang.

Ah yeah, can't protect you from yourself, I really need to put some points in Wis one day.

He looks around.

Umm, I really hope that these seats around me where empty before I did that

[Arameus]

"Oh, those better not have been my keys, and if- Yep, sure enough, there's someone running out of the studio with them now, to steal my truck and my weedeater." He stops and thinks, unsure of himself. "I think I learned a valuable lesson relevant to this whole situation, but the second-degree burns under my eye have made me forget all about it."

[CurlyKitGirl]

The cat is now very impatient. It shouts "Hippie answer the D*mned question already!! Hello?! Is there actually anyone on the bleedin' stage, or is this an empty studio??!"
The Hippie should note that the cat is no longer allowed to be served full-fat milk with extra cream; it really does make her cranky. You do NOT want to see the cat when she's angry.

[RAGE KING!]

The king finds her skin pretty soft. It's actually kind of comfortable. Wait a sec...Protection from Chaos...OH SHI-! BOOM! Splat!..........actually this soft skin isn't so great...that wall was pretty hard. What kind of idiot casts protection from chaos in a theatre like this? Hey look! A guy lying on the ground! YAY! The king slowly stumbles towards a cat muffin and a guy lying on the ground. Then hits a chair and lands unconscious in the row behind them.





(OOC> Im very tired right now)

[dwarfdude]

*Pop Pop the hot dog cooker pops some grease in mongos direction*OWWWW!!!! *THUD!*Mongo scrambles himself to gether and fixes him a hotdog with chili*gee taking long time for questions *Pop Pop* OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

can u make a undead paly with a yellow glow around a 2handed sword

[Calamity]

After seeing Rage King's antics, Calamity smiles with realisation and wrties something down on a note pad

"Hmm, that spell could be useful against other Chaotics, if it explodes when I use it.... not sure if it would work on those Lawful types though, but most people around are Chaotic so that shouldn't matter too much."

Calamity's attention turns towards the stage

Not much is happening there, did smellie_hippie forget to make himself a coffee or something....?" Calamity continues to ponder silly theories.

[Vonriel]

Vonriel laughs when he sees all the people getting thrown away by the spell. Ha ha ha.. chaotics, that's what ya get. Then he realizes that nothing's happening on stage, and it appears our loveable host has drifted off to sleep. Vonriel flicks a couple Junior Mints at him, but otherwise waits to see when he'll wake from his likely alcohol induced temporary coma.

[Serpentine]

"...burns? What bur-? Oh! Oh no, I thought I stopped myself before I spilled any! Gah! Jibar, get some ice or... something cool. Maybe there's some milk at the coffee stand, or maybe even ice if he's doing iced coffees... And for heaven's sake get his keys back!" She continues to fuss over the gentleman, the stage forgotten at the moment.

[Vonriel]

Vonriel glances down at Arameus. You know, if Serpentine weren't temporarily a leprechaun, I'd be rather envious of him..

[Jibar]

Jibar bounces off for a short while, then bounces back, carrying a fridge above her.
"Is this what you wanted? It's pretty nifty anyway. I mean, look, it has an ice dispenser. And it's coloured ice! Pretty red ice..."
A group of koalas huddle round, staring at the red ice in wonderment.

[Serpentine]

She stares at the ice for a while.
"What... or who... did you put in there?"
She stares for a few more moments, then shrugs, tears off some cloth from the clothes of someone nearby, wraps the ice in it, and places it on Arameus' forehead.

[Arameus]

Thankful, but eyeing the dubious red fluid seeping from the cloth, Arameus thanks her. Then, turning to Jibar, speaks thusly: "You better hope that whoever has stolen my truck (and, to a lesser extent, my weedeater) has used up all the gas in both of them when I get them back, or you'll curse the day you were baked!"

[Trog]

*Trog ambles out from back stage having returned from an extended commercial break to the little trog's room.*

Sorry about that. Trog had some bad take out earlier. You know the spicy kind that burns on the way out too? Maybe Trog's said too much. Anyways take Trog's advice and avoid Lee's House of the Flaming Buttocks.

Ah... Trog sees that the desk is now sporting a card slot. Excellent. Let's see if we managed to get any questions here... *peers into the slot and gets pelted in the face by several dozen blue cards.*

Bad desk! Er... lets see here... *gathers up cards and flips through them all looking for something that catches his eye.*

By the way country and western is, indeed the correct answer. Ever since seeing that movie Trog always makes sure to wear his sunglasses at night whist driving to Chicago. Course Trog has darkvision so it's not really that big a deal. Well at least nowadays. Back when it was infravision and all Trog could see were the cars that has warmed up some it was a different story. Thankfully they didn't come out with hybrids until after the rules changed. Plus Trog started the class action suit through Trog's rules lawyer and landed a heap of cash on behalf of the Cold Blooded Advocates for Light Distortion (CoBALD for short). Trog bought night vision goggles with the cash just for the irony.

Okay, better do these cards two-for-one since Trog has so many now.

"Does Smelly Hippie have an awesome hippie van in which to take road trips and go on freak-outs?"

"Smelly Hippie, what is your preferred method for pacifying rampant desks?"

*puffs, munches on thrown mints, looks at unconcious desk with a hint of worry*

[smellie_hippie]

Okay, better do these cards two-for-one since Trog has so many now.

"Does Smelly Hippie have an awesome hippie van in which to take road trips and go on freak-outs?"

"Smelly Hippie, what is your preferred method for pacifying rampant desks?"[/COLOR]

*puffs, munches on thrown mints, looks at unconcious desk with a hint of worry*

It's my happening baby, and it freaks me out! :smalltongue:

*smellie_hippie jumps up on the desk and starts dancing to the mystical sounds of The Strawberry Alarm Clock*

No that's not from Austin Powers... it was here (http://www.dustygroove.com/images/products/p/philli_stup_beyondthe_102b.jpg) first.
But to answer your question... I have no van.:smallfrown: I will though, and it will be glorious... but I have to wait until my kids move out and I can go on "freak-outs" without being charged with influencing a minor... specifically my own.

*hides nude pictures from Woodstock* :smallredface:

Um... ok. So there was another question there... pacifying rampant desks? :smallconfused:

I have two words for you.

Lava Lamps (http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/lava-lamp-diagram.gif) :smallamused:

[EmeraldRose]

*EmeraldRose watches, amused, as hippie dances on Trog's desk*

I bet this'll help the ratings! Assuming the Show is actually rated...

[sktarq]

The flumph looses directional control as all control vents start smasming on thier own time. It takes a sec but any onlookers quickly pick up that he's laughing.

[RAGE KING!]

stirring feebly, the king slowly drags herself back up, with a chair, only to be whacked by a....err...laughing? flumph. Splat! (again)

[Vonriel]

Vonriel slumps down in his chair, laughing at the Hippie Dance*™.

[Trog]

Trog thinks his entire home audience just tuned in, turned on and dropped out. Sure. Letterman gets Drew Barrymore dancing on his desk. Trog gets this. Unless go-go boot-clad, dancing, free lovin' 60's chicks start flocking in here Trog feels the ratings noose tightening. Tighter! TIGHTER! Oh wait. No. That's the desk which has awoken, grabbed Trog's tie.

Excuse Trog a moment.

GAH! :smalleek: Cosmo! get it! It's strangling Trog.

*Cosmo flips the page of the latest issue of Underpaid Flunkie Quarterly and appears not to hear.*

:smallfurious: Damn you Cosmo! Damn you to hell!

Already here boss-man. :smallannoyed:

Quick distract it with something shiny! Gah! Where's Shiney when you need him? *Gets an idea, drags the black, growling desk over to the lava moat, and shouts down into it.* Phil! Hey Phil toss some of that "lava" up to Trog would ya!

*a small globe of molten lava held in magical stasis by some arcane powers available at your local K-Mage store for only $19.95 is tossed up to Trog.*

Here you go boy! Go get it! *tosses lava ball and the desk lets go of Trog's tie and happily retrieves the molten marble. It settles again into place rolling the ball back and forth across the desktop and making growling noises of what can only be assumed to be some base form of pleasure known only to desks of evil warlocks.*

*Trog pants and loosens his tie, wipes his brow, and looks at the camera.* What? You didn't think we'd kill the desk did you? :smallamused: Anyways the real lava was drained at the beginning of the season. New stuff's gonna be here soon. Trog's looking forward to shoving coworkers into it. :smallannoyed:

Where was Trog? :smallconfused: Ah yes. Questions.

"Have you ever heard of Kopi Luwak? If you have, can you make some?

"Riddle me this, how does one unite the love of peace of a hippy, and the love of brawling of a pirate?"

[evisiron]

evisiron looks on at the action on stage. Once again he prepares to leap into action... but Trog seems to have got it under control.

As he settles back into his chair, evisiron can be heard mumbling the question that has plagued him for several minutes.

"Is a lava lamp really better than blunt trauma...?"

[smellie_hippie]

Kopi Luwak... yeah, I've heard of that. It's pretty tasty. What, you thought I was going to say "Eeeeeewwwww! Drinking coffee made of weasle crap!?" :smallamused: You did... didn't you? Have you seen what us hippies put in our hair? :smallyuk: It takes a special kinda magic to make dreadlocks... magic meaning "no showers" and "extra excrement"...

As for brewing up some here at the hippie hut... The Giant doesn't allow that kinda material on the forums. You wouldn't think that the filters affect beverages... would you. :smallamused:

*smellie_hippie takes a sip from his earthy coffee mug and smirks*

Now, the other question about blending the aspects of being a hippie and being a pirate. One word..... schizophrenia. :smalltongue: Just kidding.

*hippie hides his commitment papers and eyes the men in the white coats*

The love of the sea... or the love of the Grateful Dead. It's not very easy. I approach it in a "leave work at work" kinda attitude. There is no peace and love while on board my boat... and the is no plunder when I get my freak on. It really messes with the port authority... not to mention my tour buddies who keep asking for a boat-party...

[Trog]

Extra excrement huh? Boy you really must have to bear down on the can to get it to come out waaaay up there on your head. For some reason Trog is reminded of the Play-Doh barbershop. That's the process Trog is picturing here. That and riot police with plastic scissors. Man Trog loved Play-Doh when he was a kid. Tasty stuff.

As to the Giant's filters as long as they filter out the swear words like ********************************** that's fine. Trog thinks that the existence of this show proves, however, that it does not also filter out the crap. Or Trog'd be out of a job.

*warms Coffee by setting it atop the lava lamp and flips the next two cards*

"Are you posting on a flat screen monitor or a different one?"

"So. You and Mountain Faerie. I should probably already know this, but what's going on there?"

*Trog takes a big pull off of his coffee and raises an eyebrow at the hippie.*

[MrEdwardNigma]

The wizard settles in his seat. The show is realy becoming interesting right about now, I mean, two questions in a row, what talkshow can say they've done that before? And some of those questions were pretty insightfull...One in particular stirred the wizard deeply...

[smellie_hippie]

What's a flat-screen monitor? :smallconfused: Can I get one to go with my computer (http://cybernetnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/08/Commodore.gif)?

*smellie_hippie offers to refill Trog's coffee mug*

No it's ok... this is a blend from my personal stash (http://www.ravensbrew.com/images/dmr.gif)

*sips coffee*
So there was a question about Mountain_Faerie? She's the yin to my yang. If it wasn't for her I'd be crazy... or something. :smalltongue: yeah, you should have figured it out by now... but she's my wife. She keeps me sane, rubs my back, and generally makes me happy.

Don't you dare make the follow-up question "how does she put up with you!?" :smallmad:

[Trog]

*sips death coffee approvingly*

Ooooo yeah back rubs are good. Thes gives Trog back rubs. Er... well that is she does it with her feet. Well her boots, really. The steel toed ones. She stands on Trog's back to crack it. Well it's not so much stand as it is stomp lightly. Okay more like stomp forcefully. Okay really she just kicks Trog with her steel toed boots. And it's not so much cracking Trog's back as it is say... bruising it. Long story short our romantic life is complicated.... but at least Trog gets backrubs! :smallsmile:

Heh. You said "my yang." :smallamused:

And that's... er... quite the powerhouse computer you have there. *Looks at camera* Now Trog finally knows what user bandwidth the forums are shooting for. *turns back to hippie* How many baud do you get with that baby? 3? 4? Does it play global thermonuclear war on it? Speaking of which it seems that the lava lamp is becoming a bit unstable. Luckily Trog has a drink ready should a fire break out. To drink. Until the firemen get here. You gotta plan ahead people.

Okay final questions here for you Trog's good sir:

"What made you decide to open a coffee stand in the Talk Show? Did you just see a need and decide to fill it?"

"What is your gain by coming to this show, and what do you plan to do next?"

[CurlyKitGirl]

The cat, finding these questions amazing moves two rows closer to the stage temporarily. "I wonder who's next?" she murmers. Upon hearing about the posssiblity of a fire she calmly blnks and does nothing whatsoever.

[Arameus]

Distracted momentarily from blind rage, the now-stranded fellow returns to his seat and watches the show eagerly, hearing many good questions (his included) asked and answered. What, no van?" He checks his wallet. "I know where we can get a van for Hippie for three hundred bucks. Anyone wanna throw in?"

[Vonriel]

All thoughts of security forgotten, Vonriel straightens up then leans forward in his seat at the questions. Come on, who didn't know that she was his wife. I was never told, and yet I managed to pick up on it. Sheesh, some people.. And how can he stand working on a computer that fast?

[Zar Peter]

Zar Peter looks at the picture of Smellie's computer

Oh, the memories! The good old days of computer gaming...

[Andre Fairchilde]

Late, as usual, Andre. Seeing Vonriel taking weapons, he pauses and withdraw's his rapier "Fortune", withdraws the other rapier "Providence", two main gauches, and six stillettos which he could find.

"Can I get a ticket for those?" He points at one of the rapiers - "Watch that one, it bites..."

Satisfied the weapons are well cared for, he enters the audience squinting in the dragonsmoke to find EmeraldRose.

"Ah!" He glides noiselessly to sit next to her and offers her some chocolate covered peanuts. Seeing the show, he pretends to know what's going on, but is absolutely confused.

[Vonriel]

Vonriel mutters as he checks Andre's weaponry, stashing the rapiers in a special box and all the other weapons in a cubby with the box. Then, he jumps back over the counter and into his seat, and continues watching the show.

[evisiron]

evisiron looks on in interest as Vonriel places various weapons out of sight in some kind of security room.

With a subtle movement, evisiron shifts the hilt of his sword under his shield where it is less likely to be noticed.

[Mountain_Faerie]

Following the wonderful aroma of Smellie_Hippie's coffee, Mountain_Faerie floats into the studio. As if suddenly snapping awake, she realizes there are people everywhere. Hippie's on stage and there is a bowl of what looks like cream, sprinkles and change being passed around the audience. The outside says "Spare Change for Hippie's Van". (Brings back memories from that time in Colorado, and the one in Arkansas, and that other one in...) Snaps out of it and finds a seat.

This looks interesting!

[Vonriel]

Vonriel notices the subtle movement of envisiron, but is too caught up in the show to do anything. He makes a mental note to ask him about it later and continues waiting for the Hippie's answer.

[smellie_hippie]

Okay final questions here for you Trog's good sir:

"What made you decide to open a coffee stand in the Talk Show? Did you just see a need and decide to fill it?"

"What is your gain by coming to this show, and what do you plan to do next?"[/COLOR]

I have a coffee shop? :smalleek: Oh.... that! (http://www.boncafe.co.th/prods/images/k_coffee-cart-small.jpg) I just brought it in here to see what would happen if I over-caffienated an audience full of people to the pont of rediculous antics in a small enclosed space. :smallamused: Apparently, I caused a short citcuit... sorry about that.

*smellie_hippie hands Trog a thick manilla envelope labelled: Compensation for Damages*

As for what I hope to gain from this show? Fame, notoriety and world peace. You all did know that all the coffee served here has an organic compound designed by hippies to instill peace and love... right? The only noticable side effect I've seen is an aversion to eating meat and a desire to visit Haight Ashbury (http://www.wolfgangsvault.com/images/catalog/detail/GAP0030-01-01-FP.jpg).

I don't have any plans for the future... *notices that Mountain_Faerie has entered the studio* I guess I'll just wing it. :smallwink:

[Arameus]

*claps as Hippie exits the stage* "Pick up the cash later! And about that van, I know a fella that knows a fella!"

[RAGE KING!]

The king gets up slowly, can't see the flumph anywhere, and decides to let it pass. Watching the show with mild interest, she notices someone walk in and give some weapons to vonriel. Grudgingly, she walks over and, opening her HHH (which is apparently a purse now) pulls out a suit of spiked armour, a gigantic greataxe, and an ankus. "Ill need that one if any rampaging elephants come in." She then sits down again, clapping when hippy leaves. He then passes 200 dollars to arameus.

[Vonriel]

Thankful that this time it happened during a commercial break, Vonriel hops back behind the counter. Uhm, you don't need to leave your armor, I won't begrudge you that. Just, uh, don't try and impale anyone on the spikes, ok? He takes the weapons and deposits them in one of the larger cubbys.

[Scatman]

The lich walks in boredly, having noticed it while he was heading to Wal-Mart for some more ramen."Hm?Whats this?"He covered himself with magic dust, and was struck invisible by "Improved Invisiblity".He walked in casually as he plops into a seat which had much others surrounding it, and the spell runs out.He leans back, using the head of the person in front of him as a footrest.

[Trog]

*Trog grabs the envelope and stuffs it in his suit before the network execs see it* Oooo! Manilla! Trog's favorite flavor. Thank you. And yes no beer and no Trog TV make audience... something, something. Trog forgets.

And wait... you slipped something in Trog's drink? :smallconfused: *smacks lips* That's funny... Trog doesn't taste anything. Must have made Trog's saving throw on that mug.

And awww... winging it sounds like the best way for a hippie to go. :smallsmile:

*leans over desk* Here. Here's some change. Get a haircut and get a real job you scurvy dog, you. Smellie_Hippie ladies and gentlemen! :smallbiggrin:

Up next... Indurain :smallbiggrin:



Are we off the air? Someone order Trog a Vegetarian meal would you. Trog has this odd craving for bean sprouts. Oh and someone see if they can't get rid of that patchoulli stank too.

[Scatman]

He mutters lowly:"Damn hippies."Seeing nothing going on up there currently, he decided to cause mischeif.He sneaks behind Vonriel and casts "Hold Person" on him in boredom.He rigged his dice so he would roll a natural one.He casted Overland Flight and flies up to the top, watching Trog from the air."Manilla flavor?I didnt know trogldytes were THAT stupid."He casts invisilbity and ethereal visage on himself.

Why?
I dont like the letter "V".
Why?Its a long story.

[smellie_hippie]

*smellie_hippie exits the stage singing George Thurgood to himself*

Wow, that was fun. Now who's this "Trog" everyone keeps talking about? :smallconfused:

*smellie_hippie walks back to his coffee bar and uncovers a couple of plush Lay-Z-Boy recliners, and invites Mountain_Faerie to have a better seat*

The view from here is wonderful.

[Zar Peter]

Zar Peter applaudes!

Great performance Hippie. And now a cup strong coffee, please.

[Mountain_Faerie]

M_F zips over and curls up in the Lazy Boy next to Hippie. She reaches over, takes his coffee mug, and drinks a big sip. The settles in to watch the show.

[T'ze'hai]

T'ze'hai is wondering if the show got lost in a too-long commercial break, in which the network decided to go on with a completely different show.
She looks around: are there any other viewers in the public left or did she doze off and is now finding herself alone in an abandoned studio??? :smalleek:

[Vonriel]

Vonriel wakes himself up with a snore, a confused look on his face. All right, where is this Indurain fellow? He gets a small running start, and jumps the lava pit, then heads backstage to try and find the missing emperor.

[CurlyKitGirl]

The cat wakes up with a start. "OK. Where's the guest? The show isstill on right?" Seeing Von go off to find the guest she perks up and pays attentin to the stage.

[Zeb The Troll]

Zeb cheers for smellie hippie as he leaves the stage, then prepares to pass the shop back over to him when he gets back down here. As he gets ready to leave, he all but trips over two recliners that he doesn't remember being there before.

What the -? Anyway, good show, boss. And howdy to you Mountain Faerie! Good seeing you here!

Before he leaves back for his seat next to Alarra he offers a handshake to the earthiest hippie and a 'so-nice-to-see-you' hug to the Mountain Faerie, then dashes off.

[Arameus]

Arameus delivers the money to Smelly Hippie. "We collected so much you can get one with basic safety features! Have fun!:smallbiggrin:

Returning to his seat, he now wonders what he'll do about his own automotive dilemma. :smallannoyed:

[Vonriel]

Vonriel comes running out from the opposite end of the stage he entered, shouting. IIIINNNNNDYYYY! Where are yo-Wha? He looks confused for a moment, before running back offstage on the side he just came onstage from. He immediately comes out the opposite end. Well, uh, that's just.. Isn't that special. :smallconfused: He looks at the audience and the host, and shrugs.

[AngelSword]

Trying not to make a fuss, Sword slips in, finding an empty seat in the back. Indurain, eh?, he wonders. Is he going to be naked, as the rumor goes?

[smellie_hippie]

*smellie_hippie pushes a small button at the back of the coffee stand, causing blue cards to pop up from the backs of every seat in the studio. A small message is scrawled on the card, leaving most of the card blank....
Trog might like some assistance with questions for the talk-show, but please remember to not be pushy... This card also good for a 10% off your next purchase at The Hippie Hut*

[CurlyKitGirl]

The cat grabs a card and a pen. Puttting the pen in her mouth she writes a barely legible question or two, she puts them in a basket that is being handed around by a nameless goblin. Then, using a spare question card she pads over to the Hippies' coffee stand and asks for "A full fat milk with cream please."

[Trog]

*The "On the air" light goes out and Bigby's Stage Hands move in swiftly to reset the stage for the next performance. Lights are changed to a less harsh palette, a plush shag carpeting is brought in to cover the area and plastic is wrapped around all the chairs. The cameras are set higher to ensure that everyone is captured only from the waist up.

The lights go dim and the silhouette of a shapely young woman, obviously not clothed by the way her flesh moves, can be seen crossing over to stand behind Cosmo's podium in his usual spot. She shifts a bit to conceal herself modestly. The "On the air" light turns back on and a spotlight illuminates the honey golden hair of a beautiful young Paige of Trog's Tavern fame. She giggles and waves then remembers that she is supposed to be concealing herself.*

Ahem... From Azure City... Where I'm getting paid big bucks to stand in for Cosmo for this show...:smallredface: It's Trog's Talk show! *giggle* And now here's your host... Trog. :smallwink:

*Trog ambles out from back stage naked as a jaybird except for a very large mug of steaming coffee with a black pirate hat with a white peace sign on it strategically held at crotch level.*

Good evening! Trog's got a great show for you tonight. Though Trog does need to warn you that tonight's episode is rated TV-MA and viewer discretion is advised. There will be nudity. Those of you with weak constitutions and high libidos are encouraged to go get one of those manuals of health thingies or take a break to go "comb your hair"... whatever that means.

Anyhoo our guest tonight is royalty? Did you know that Paige?

I figured it out because of the huge scepter, yes. :smalleek: Oh wait! I didn't mean it like that! :smallredface: I meant the rod with the jewels on the end of it. :smalleek: No wait... oh forget it. Shush all of you. :smallannoyed:

*Trog looks at the camera* Worth every penny Trog paid her to do this stunt.

Anyways please help Trog welcome to the stage the man behind Nude-Fest in the Town and a hell of an Emperor... Indurain!! :smallbiggrin:

*APPLAUSE*

[CurlyKitGirl]

"Gaah! Naked two-legs!" The cat looks down trying to find a blindfold so she can cover her eyes. She doesn't find any so she averts her eyes.

[Serpentine]

Serpentine watches with interest as the small, pink man comes into sight. She whispers to Jibar and Arameus, "I thought two-leggers had, you know, two legs..."

[Arameus]

:smalleek: "Oh, just wonderful. I get to be the one to explain this. How do I get out of this?"

"Well, you see, *ahem* I and those like me, er, two leggers... that is, not all but... you see, there are.. um..." Clarity. Sitting as tall as he can, Arameus pronounces as gracefully as possible: "My Lady, men keep spares." :smallredface: ( :smallsigh: )

[Mountain_Faerie]

Zeb cheers for smellie hippie as he leaves the stage, then prepares to pass the shop back over to him when he gets back down here. As he gets ready to leave, he all but trips over two recliners that he doesn't remember being there before.

What the -? Anyway, good show, boss. And howdy to you Mountain Faerie! Good seeing you here!

Before he leaves back for his seat next to Alarra he offers a handshake to the earthiest hippie and a 'so-nice-to-see-you' hug to the Mountain Faerie, then dashes off.

Mountain_Faerie's eyes light up as she gives Zeb a great big HUG! She invites Zeb and the lovely Alarra over for dinner and a game of (un-cursed) Kubb.
If I can ever get hippie away from this coffee cart... :smallamused:

[EmeraldRose]

:smalleek: "Oh, just wonderful. I get to be the one to explain this. How do I get out of this?"

"Well, you see, *ahem* I and those like me, er, two leggers... that is, not all but... you see, there are.. um..." Clarity. Sitting as tall as he can, Arameus pronounces as gracefully as possible: "My Lady, men keep spares." :smallredface: ( :smallsigh: )

*The dragon, overhearing the explanation, breaks out into a fit of laughter. Turning to the man next to her, she grins*

So Andre, is this true?

[RAGE KING!]

Stretching his renewed form The King goes on a victory lap around the theater on his manticore, which nearly collapses vonriel's cubbyholes with a volley of spikes from her tail. As she lands she nearly impales DLD and catapults her rider (me) into the other wall. The king then puts his armour back on, feeling that he'd really like to impale someone and promptly catches the eye of the girl onstage, and winks at her.

[Madmal]

Mal drops his mug of cofee.

the summons a blindfold.

anyways, what does Blindsense serves to you if you don't use it often?

[Midnight Son]

A dark cloud of swirling mist enters the auditorium, flows down the aisle and takes a seat about half way down. The darkness dissipates as the large man taps a few runes on his armor. (no sense in being rude to the beings behind him) After scanning the room with an eye for any danger, The Midnight Son grins and settles back in his seat.

An erotic talk show? I guess anything's possible where Trog's involved.

[Serpentine]

:smalleek: "Oh, just wonderful. I get to be the one to explain this. How do I get out of this?"

"Well, you see, *ahem* I and those like me, er, two leggers... that is, not all but... you see, there are.. um..." Clarity. Sitting as tall as he can, Arameus pronounces as gracefully as possible: "My Lady, men keep spares." :smallredface: ( :smallsigh: )
"Ah."
She sits back to watch the pink man, but still with a puzzled expression. After a while, she leans over again.
"But... it's a lot smaller than the other two... and a different shape. Does it fold out? Or hasn't he put it away properly? And when would you need a spare? And..."

[Vhaidara]

And now, for a friendly hello from all of our friends in the SMBG!

*Stabbity deathiffies the audience*

[Jibar]

"Serp, don't look, they're naked! Let me do it for you."
Jibar promptly pulls out a pair of binoculars and watchs. Intently.