An Open Letter to Weather Forecasters

[Jibar]

Dear Mr/Mrs weather Forecaster,


Stop talking out your arse please.
You said that it would be nice today. You said there would be sun.
When I awoke this morning, you were quite right. The sky was a pleasent shade of blue and the sun was out.
But now there is no blue. There is only grey. The grey of rain.
I ask you politely that you either get better ways of predicting the weather, or you can come round my house and build me a shelter that means I will never again be affected by your false predictions.
Otherwise, I'll feed you to Stalin.
Sincerly,

Emperor Jibar the VIII

[Were-Sandwich]

Secondeded.

[Serpentine]

Any letter signed "Emperor" needs to have some subtly-worded threat of decapitation or similar, or it doesn't count. Sorry Jibar, you lose.

[Lord Herman]

Ah, but this letter was not signed "Emperor".

[Serpentine]

Curses! Foiled again by another person's poor/creative spelling!

[Jibar]

Any letter signed "Emperor" needs to have some subtly-worded threat of decapitation or similar, or it doesn't count. Sorry Jibar, you lose.

Now there is a threat.
Happy?

[Serpentine]

Delerious :smallbiggrin:

[Atreyu the Masked LLama]

Bah! You kids and your new age, modern day, hi-tech rituals for determining weather. Your science has failed you. Your forecasters are wrong and now you are plunged into a world where it is drizzling and you have no umbrella. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You should go back to the old ways and read your horoscopres. Its 100% accurate depending on how well you interpret it. For instance, if it says "You will be showered with blessings" you should take that as a sign it will rain, but if it doesn't rain then it was metaphorical and something good happened to you today. Maybe you just didn't notice it.

Heh. Listening to meteorologists. Even the name gives them away. They aren't tracking meteors, or casting Meteo or even Meteor Swarm. They are talking about weather not meteors. Its like asking a zoologist to make a stained-glass window of a bear eating a muffin shaped liked The Eiffel Tower.

[Archonic Energy]

Delerious :smallbiggrin:

that explains alot!

:smalltongue:

[Tom_Violence]

Its very nice and sunny here. Almost too nice. Ahhhh.

[Charity]

Here too, must just be in Jibarland.
http://www.teslamotors.com/display_data/gregs_muffin.jpg
though it looks quite sunny to me.

[Exachix]

JIBAR!

You love in england! You should know by now not to trust what the weather people say!

..
Or if you don't. You shouldn't anyway.

[wxdruid]

Why are you complaining about the weather....I create my own weather.

[InaVegt]

Why are you complaining about the weather....I create my own weather.

A meteoroligist!

Points to wxdruid

Lynch her!

[Indon]

At least where you people live, the weather makes sense.

Albuquerque's the first place I've ever lived in which it has (relatively commonly, in fact) rained while the sky is blue and clear at the same time.

???!?

[Lord Herman]

That's nothing. When I was in Prague, there were clouds while it wasn't raining!

[Hoggy]

It's sunny here, if that's any consolation :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Iames Osari]

Jibar, in order to predict the weather perfectly, one would have to create a perfectly accurate computer simulation of the Earth (and perhaps even of the universe, for longer-term applications), capable of tracking individual molecules and atoms, as well as taking into account all animal activity. It just isn't practical.

[Morty]

Bah. Where I'm now it's rainy, cloudy and cold, but I'm enjoying every moment of this, as for the last two weeks it was boiling hot. And in Hungary where I've been yesterday it's even worse. So it's a matter of perspective.

[13_CBS]

Well, to the forecasters' credit, weather is extremely difficult to predict...

[Jibar]

It just isn't practical.

Yes, so they should either give up or actually perfect it.
There is no point in continuing with this charade that they call forecasts!
Right now it's like a dog with only 1 leg, 1 eye, 1 lung and half a brain attempting to kill you. Most the time he misses the jugular, but occasionaly he bites you in other vitals. You don't have to pay attention it it, but you know if you don't, he'll surprise you and rip off your buttocks.

[T'ze'hai]

A weatherforecast for the weather out here would be:

"A somewhat sunny start of the morning, followed by some clouds, rain, a short storm, more sun, blue skies, purple clouds, more wind and don't forget the sun. All the while with a comfortable temperature of 18 degrees Celcius, if you are very capable in turning the central heating on and of depending on the sun shining or not into the room."

Anyway, that's my weather today...

[RAGE KING!]

my weather forcast is, dark, slighlty damp, lanterns and boots recommended, as well as an insectbane candle for this dungeon folks.

[Hushdawg]

See, you just need a weather rock.. never fails.
you hang it outside on a string..
if it's moving around - windy
if it's wet - raining
if you can't se it - foggy
if it's hot - sunny
if it's gone - hurricane/tornado

Simple!

it's how we do it down in NC and our weather people are never wrong.

Insane perhaps, but not wrong.

[CurlyKitGirl]

Agrees with Jibar partially.
However like Hoggy I live in sunny South-West of England. As far SW as you can without being on a boat in the Atlantic. Here it's warm and sunny. The weathermen said it would rain/be cold.
So, in conclusion weathrmen/women are not very good at predicting weather. When they are right it's often rain/storms etc.

[ZombieRockStar]

Jibar, in order to predict the weather perfectly, one would have to create a perfectly accurate computer simulation of the Earth (and perhaps even of the universe, for longer-term applications), capable of tracking individual molecules and atoms, as well as taking into account all animal activity. It just isn't practical.

A butterfly lands on ZombieRockStar's desk.

Ooh! A butterfly! Pretty. :smallamused:

[averagejoe]

I never really pay attention to the weather reports. I just look outside. It's much easier and more accurate, plus you can do it on your own time.

[Lemur]

I'm with averagejoe.


A butterfly lands on ZombieRockStar's desk.

Ooh! A butterfly! Pretty. :smallamused:

Stormclouds build over Lemur's head.

Huh? Aren't I inside? :smallconfused:

[Mr. Moon]

Weathermen... Perdicting weather... porperly? :smallconfused:

Untill we live in biodomes and can control our weather through highly advanced science... don't get your hopes up.

[bosssmiley]

They are talking about weather not meteors. Its like asking a zoologist to make a stained-glass window of a bear eating a muffin shaped liked The Eiffel Tower.

"If you build it, RAWbear will come" (cakefork clutched in his paw and napkin at collar). Then, to your horror and chagrin, he will discover that this wonderful thing you speak of is only stained glass (and not delicious cake at all). Then the mighty RAWbear shall tear apart both you and your tame zoologist in his furious, unsated, muffin-craving wrath!
Also: orbital WampaX bombardments shall rain down upon you.

As for the weather. It being a workday it has been glorious sunshine and clement breezes all day here in the heart of civilization. D@mmit! :smallmad:

[Jibar]

As for the weather. It being a workday it has been glorious sunshine and clement breezes all day here in the heart of civilization. D@mmit! :smallmad:

On the subject of damnation, after I complain about it, it gets super sunny with blue skies.
GOD DAMN YOU WEATHEROLOGISTS!

[bosssmiley]

On the subject of damnation, after I complain about it, it gets super sunny with blue skies.
GOD DAMN YOU WEATHEROLOGISTS!

It's those b*st*rds down at the Met Office with their weather machines again! :smallmad:

[BugFix]

Yes, so they should either give up or actually perfect it.

I'll so inform them. The next few thousand hurricane victims will no doubt be consoled by the fact that your sunshine forecasts just weren't up to snuff.

Seriously: being unable to distinguish very similar conditions like "partly cloudy" from "mostly sunny" is hardly an inability to "predict the weather". Do the fronts go where they say they will? Do the winds blow from the directions they expect? Do the storms they say are likely to develop actually develop? Generally (and within sometimes wide error bars) the answer is yes, and we are all very well served by our meteorologists. Try learning something about a field before you condemn it next time, 'K?

[Jibar]

Try learning something about a field before you condemn it next time, 'K?

Okay, not going to even dare touch the hurricane comment. Otherwise:
I've spent two years plus doing my own independant learning on the weather and such like. It's why I can predict the weather with 15 minute leeway for my area. I actually know a good deal about the subject.
My rant however is not about the field itself, more directed at the public version of this reports. If they actually gave me all their research on it, all their expectations I would be a bit happier about the whole situation. But when they present me with half arsed over CGIed weather reports that aren't even accurate. :smallfurious:

[zeratul]

Okay, not going to even dare touch the hurricane comment. Otherwise:
I've spent two years plus doing my own independant learning on the weather and such like. It's why I can predict the weather with 15 minute leeway for my area. I actually know a good deal about the subject.
My rant however is not about the field itself, more directed at the public version of this reports. If they actually gave me all their research on it, all their expectations I would be a bit happier about the whole situation. But when they present me with half arsed over CGIed weather reports that aren't even accurate. :smallfurious:

Jibar you are being unreasonable. Sure we all like to make fun of meteorologists, bu they are usually right. It's not their fault your crazy brittish weather is unpredictable.

[wxdruid]

and all this complaining about the weather.....you try doing my job and not just in Iraq, but for wherever in the world someone asks for it.

[Captain van der Decken]

Perhaps it's unpredictable because they're having trouble predicting it?

And, Jibar, it was sunny all day here. Sucks to be English. :smalltongue:

[zeratul]

Weather in the UK was when I was there weeeeiiiiiiird. It was like Cloudy, sunny, rain, sunny,cloudy rain, rain, sun!

[Captain van der Decken]

The weather changes, yes.

What's it like o'er there? Do you have, say, 4 days of constant sun, then another 4 of clouds, then rain, and so on?

[Silkenfist]

I can't help but quote Max Goldt:

I don't want to hear weather forecasts on radio. If you want to know today's weather, go look out of the window. If you want to know tomorrow's weather, go look out of the window tomorrow.

[zeratul]

The weather changes, yes.

What's it like o'er there? Do you have, say, 4 days of constant sun, then another 4 of clouds, then rain, and so on?

Usually. Accept during winter. Then it's basically snow cloudy, with snow december to april
\
Edit : no week 4 days of constant rain usually though.

Also the varriation I was talking about for over there was for in one day.

[sktarq]

Coming from coastal Southern California we joke that the weather is always sunny and 72 but our tourits leave calling highly random weather - California weather. I fact I didn't know till I lived in Upstate NY and then Scotland. Our weather forcasters are pretty good here. Lots of marine layers, and sunny days.

[Hell Puppi]

Weather's easy to pedict in Arizona and California.
Yup, hot again.
Raining: it's monsoon season (yes we have one in AZ)
Big cloud o'doom: dust storm.

[Captain van der Decken]

Usually. Accept during winter. Then it's basically snow cloudy, with snow december to april
\
Edit : no week 4 days of constant rain usually though.

Also the varriation I was talking about for over there was for in one day.


Good grief. And you said our weather was weird. Do the clouds just stay still in the sky and wait for the sun to have it's turn?

[zeratul]

No I mean there's some flux, but it'll be cloudy for the majority of the day. This happens less often with cloudy weather however, and more with sunny.

[AslanCross]

Weather forecasting in this tropical country has been notoriously inaccurate back in the 70s, but it got slightly better in the 80s and 90s. I really don't pay much attention to the weather forecasts (I'm always ready for a rainstorm because I bring a +5 Umbrella of Water Resistance and I don't work too far from my house anyway), although they are reliable when a typhoon's coming.

[Yiel]

Whenever in the UK, I have learnt to carry an umbrella and a cardigan with me wherever I go... especially in the "summer".

As for over here at home, well we're in a drought so I don't get caught out by rain very often. :smallfrown:

[Cyrano]

Guys, I'm going to have to side with Jibar here. If I listened to all the American meteorologists, I'd leave my house every day in a winter coat.

[Zeb The Troll]

Good grief. And you said our weather was weird. Do the clouds just stay still in the sky and wait for the sun to have it's turn?Hardly. We do, however, have fronts and systems that are larger enough to take days to pass overhead (when it's moving west-east and it covers from Chicago to DC it takes a little while). Sometimes they come back to back. I've always found my local meteorologist to be accurate within acceptable margins. When I need a more granular breakdown of my weather, www.weather.com has an hour by hour breakout that tells me what I need to know.

[Ikkitosen]

Bear in mind that the weather reports we generally see are the free output of the Met office. They can actually predict the weather much better than they do but they lack the computing power to do that for everywhere at once. Hence we get general reports that are ok, and more specific and costly predictions are produced for when it's important (like knowing whether ships off the coast are going to be wrecked by extreme weather, which I think we all agree is more important than, say, your picnic plans :smallannoyed: ).

[Charity]

which I think we all agree is more important than, say, your picnic plans :smallannoyed: ).

My picinik plans iz of the utmost importance I'll av you know.
whats a few ships here and there pah.


Jib you are playing into the hands of the feindish steriotypers.

[Jibar]

Hence we get general reports that are ok, and more specific and costly predictions are produced for when it's important (like knowing whether ships off the coast are going to be wrecked by extreme weather, which I think we all agree is more important than, say, your picnic plans :smallannoyed: ).

Those general reports are the bits I don't like!
I say they take those reports off TV or actually make them much more accurate.
It's just plain annoying!

[Lord Herman]

You know, Jibar, there's a button on your TV that lets you take the things you don't like off TV. It's the one labelled 'off'. :smalltongue:

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

My job depends on the weather on a daily basis seeing as I'm outside virtually all day. we even ended up postponing our game yesterday due to it raining on Sunday very hard without warning. I've come to the determination that Mother Nature absolutely hates baseball, or maybe it's just Hagerstown, I haven't quite decided yet. Those days where the weather just decides to toy with us on whether or not it wants to rain or not are the worst days.

[Jorkens]

http://www.mwis.org.uk/ is fantastic. In a rather specialist way.

[Korith]

Any letter signed "Emperor" needs to have some subtly-worded threat of decapitation or similar, or it doesn't count. Sorry Jibar, you lose.

*Stabs Serpentine repeatedly*

You made me lose The Game!

[tannish2]

Heh. Listening to meteorologists. Even the name gives them away. They aren't tracking meteors, or casting Meteo or even Meteor Swarm. They are talking about weather not meteors. Its like asking a zoologist to make a stained-glass window of a bear eating a muffin shaped liked The Eiffel Tower.

and yes, theres a simple way to create your own weather, carry an umbrella, always, then if you need rain, you leave the umbrella at home, you stupid, stupid ********

[Serpentine]

*Stabs Serpentine repeatedly*

You made me lose The Game!
Heeeeey, I'm not even playing!

[B-Man]

I just love how the meteorologists messed up the readings yesterday. They reported that it was raining in there current weather update and I was very tempted about taking a picture and emailing them the sunny conditions that we had at the time of the update.

[horseboy]

Why are you listening to a human about weather? Just watch the trees, much better predictor of rain.

[Extra_Crispy]

I can't help but quote Max Goldt:

I don't want to hear weather forecasts on radio. If you want to know today's weather, go look out of the window. If you want to know tomorrow's weather, go look out of the window tomorrow.

This does not work, even the weather people are better than this. Take for example Arizona weather. During the monsoon 90% of the mornings it is bright sunny with little in the way of clouds. After noon it is getting cloudy if not raining, then by the evenings it is very cloudy and raining. Few years ago I went to college which was about 30 miles from my house on my motorcycle, it was beautiful in the morning. After my classes, mid afternoon, I tried to go home. Raining some all the way home, couple of areas there was hail coming down. Try driving 75 mph in high wind, rain, and hail on a motorcycle.

But I still agree weather people need to get more information out and be a little better at predicting the weather.


Weather's easy to pedict in Arizona and California.
Yup, hot again.
Raining: it's monsoon season (yes we have one in AZ)
Big cloud o'doom: dust storm.

Nice to see another Arizonia. :smallbiggrin: