Grizl' Bjorn
2017-04-25, 09:24 AM
One of my groups gets a little silly sometimes.
DM, unbenknowst to the players, rolls on a random table to add flavour to a cavern we're in. He rolls that there is a petrified giant on the cavern floor.
Player asks the DM if the giant might be considered handsome. DM thinks for a moment and says yes.
Player rolls for seduction on the petrified giant, gets a Nat 20. DM doesn't know what to do so says 'Well he does look very hard I suppose'.
Player decides that the priority in this situation is to unpetrify the giant. Other players are happy to go along because we've honestly forgotten why we're in the cavern. We start with a few restoration spells, all to no effect. DM tells us that the giant seems to be naturally fossilized, not magically petrified.
Party has a 2E mirror of scrying that can look back in time if you stand in the right place and specify the time you would like to look at. Player declares intention to look for the moment the stone giant died. DM says 'How the hell are you going to find out when the giant died to look'.
Player smiles 'I would like to look at this location 10,000 years ago, is the giant there?'
DM 'No'
Player 'I would like to look at the cavern five thousand years ago, is the giant there?'
DM 'Yes'
Player 'Then I would like to look at the cavern 7500 years ago, is the giant there?
DM 'No'
Player '6250'
The player explains how using this method it's possible to get exponentially more accurate and assuming one question every six seconds, reach the exact moment within a few minutes.
We find out how the giant died (Black dragon). Player suggests that we go on a quest to find a way to resurrect something that's been dead that long so he can attempt to seduce it. Other players, including me, agree since as a party we're basically just killing time. Our DM has given up fighting, and finding the situation hiliarious agrees to plot something out.
Possibly more on this story as it develops.
DM, unbenknowst to the players, rolls on a random table to add flavour to a cavern we're in. He rolls that there is a petrified giant on the cavern floor.
Player asks the DM if the giant might be considered handsome. DM thinks for a moment and says yes.
Player rolls for seduction on the petrified giant, gets a Nat 20. DM doesn't know what to do so says 'Well he does look very hard I suppose'.
Player decides that the priority in this situation is to unpetrify the giant. Other players are happy to go along because we've honestly forgotten why we're in the cavern. We start with a few restoration spells, all to no effect. DM tells us that the giant seems to be naturally fossilized, not magically petrified.
Party has a 2E mirror of scrying that can look back in time if you stand in the right place and specify the time you would like to look at. Player declares intention to look for the moment the stone giant died. DM says 'How the hell are you going to find out when the giant died to look'.
Player smiles 'I would like to look at this location 10,000 years ago, is the giant there?'
DM 'No'
Player 'I would like to look at the cavern five thousand years ago, is the giant there?'
DM 'Yes'
Player 'Then I would like to look at the cavern 7500 years ago, is the giant there?
DM 'No'
Player '6250'
The player explains how using this method it's possible to get exponentially more accurate and assuming one question every six seconds, reach the exact moment within a few minutes.
We find out how the giant died (Black dragon). Player suggests that we go on a quest to find a way to resurrect something that's been dead that long so he can attempt to seduce it. Other players, including me, agree since as a party we're basically just killing time. Our DM has given up fighting, and finding the situation hiliarious agrees to plot something out.
Possibly more on this story as it develops.