What class would make for a grumpy old man.

[Sir cryosin]

My family calls me the grumpy old man. Even though I'm only 26 years old. And I find it funny and entertaining and usually respond by say **** ya I am. So this got me thinking of coming up with a character that's a grumpy mid age man. We're he's not to old to go Adventureing but should retire with in a decade or two. I have one idea on what class to go with on this. I would like to say away from the crazy old wizard trope plz.

[Naez]

That character idea fits nearly any class. You could play a monk if you wanna go with the kung fu master type. A fighter to be the battle hardened veteran. The disillusioned paladin. The cleric of a merciless god. The pessimistic druid who's seen too much of humanity's cruelty. The rogue who can still show these young'uns how it's done. etc. etc.

[Bohandas]

If not a wizard then a Paladin. With Cleric and expert being runners up. They both lend themselves to a "hmmph. young people these days with their ipods and their rock and roll music...world's going to hell" type mindset

[Steampunkette]

Barbarian: "You young whippersnappers don't know what it -really- means to be a Berserk. You'll never be a -real- Berserker if you don't learn to control your temper!"


https://youtu.be/TAe3NLbaZfU

Fighter: "Age and Cunning beat Young and Fast any day of the week."

Rogue: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. MOVE. I'll let you know when it's disarmed."

Druid/Ranger: "I've been guarding this land since before you were a twinkle in your Daddy's eye, boy!"

Paladin/Cleric: Just complain about how young people have no faith, don't read the books, and generally disrespect their elders.

You can do it with any class, really.

[Ninja_Prawn]

Clearly the right answer is 'no class at all'. You're an NPC stat block (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=21005376&postcount=28).

"I remember back when your race was your class, you damned whippersnappers!"

[Aett_Thorn]

I've always imagined Dwarven Rogues to be pretty much the definition of this kind of personality. In fact, I remember back in 2E in the Complete Dwarves Handbook there was a personality for dwarves that was called The Grumbler. You weren't necessarily unhappy about doing whatever you were doing. But you wanted to make sure that people THOUGHT that you were unhappy doing it.

"Oh sure, I've got to be the one to pick the lock AGAIN."

"If any of you could sneak worth a damned, I wouldn't always have to be the one trying to get past the guards."

"Yeah yeah, I'll shoot the damned Giant with my crossbow and save the day yet again."

[Honest Tiefling]

I have one idea on what class to go with on this. I would like to say away from the crazy old wizard trope plz.

Sadly, Gnome Wizard was going to be my suggestion. I think you should instead go for the Warlock or Sorcerer, because they are the classes least tied to age. (The idea that sorcerers gain powers in puberty seems to have faded in this edition.) These two classes are not tied to either wisdom or intelligence, so this character is experienced in being a cankerous old coot who literally willpowes their way through everything. They aren't more knowledgeable or more trained then the rest of the party, just able to use their utter stubbornness to beat issues over the head with magic. BAH! Come back here and get blasted, whippersnappers!

Also, I get a real kick out of a grizzled warlock that after making a pact with fey looks at kids in a strange light. They have been surrounded by ageless beauty that makes them keenly aware of their own morality and failing body, who with a glance can make them feel more depreciated as the minutes go by or with a touch make it seem like they are young and strong again. These eternally young figures are also both wiser and more whimsical then the youngest or oldest of the group, with more knowledge then any mortal has the right to possess...Making these youngsters seem to both be in their prime and utterly ignorant of the world around them. They both envy and pity the younger folk, as they are corrupted reflections of their fey patron with their youth.

[Desteplo]

I think there has been a huge failing to realize the true answer... Bard
-one spell and its perfect

Viscous mockery
-you are welcome

But if you needed more, your ability to teach the youngins is produced by your bardic inspiration.. or in this case old man wisdom

[lunaticfringe]

2nd Barbarian

Spry, old, grumpy, foul-mouthed guttertrash Thief would work too. You survive the slums by being cunning and the danger has kept you in good shape. You don't power through fights, you wait till guys are looking the other way and stick'em.

Battlemaster Archer is pretty fitting, life time with a bow & you can lay down trickshots

[ChainsawFlwrcld]

A Druid always telling people to stay the hell off the grass.

A Monk that regularly complains that everyone is in such a hurry and just needs to slow down and smell the roses (Tranquility perhaps?)

[JumboWheat01]

I've always imagined Dwarven Rogues to be pretty much the definition of this kind of personality. In fact, I remember back in 2E in the Complete Dwarves Handbook there was a personality for dwarves that was called The Grumbler. You weren't necessarily unhappy about doing whatever you were doing. But you wanted to make sure that people THOUGHT that you were unhappy doing it.

"Oh sure, I've got to be the one to pick the lock AGAIN."

"If any of you could sneak worth a damned, I wouldn't always have to be the one trying to get past the guards."

"Yeah yeah, I'll shoot the damned Giant with my crossbow and save the day yet again."

...I totally need to draw up a dwarven rogue and use this.

This said, dwarves, depending on the setting, of course, seem to embody badass grumpy old men half the time. They don't like you, they're willing to tell you right to your face that they don't like you, but they'll still kick around anything that they want.

Let's see if I can pull out an age chart from somewhere... Ah, here we go. According to 3.5's PHB, Cleric, Druid, Monk and Wizard have the largest modifiers to the starting age of an adventurer. So those are probably the best classes for someone's who's feeling a bit put-off by all those youngsters whose classes take so much less training.

[Laserlight]

I should think the answer would be obvious: DM

[Arcangel4774]

I'm just imagining a nature cleric or druid. "Get off my lawn... The whole world's my lawn."

[2D8HP]

"I remember back when your race was your class, you damned whippersnappers!"


Well as a matter of fact.... Hilarious! Thanks!


Barbarian: "You young whippersnappers don't know what it -really- means to be a Berserk. You'll never be a -real- Berserker if you don't learn to control your temper!"....


2nd Barbarian....


I could see that:
https://static.comicvine.com/uploads/scale_small/0/77/2630163-tumblr_ma7vv792xi1rbts2no1_400.jpg

[Vaz]

2d8HP, dude, your Signature is way too big, tone it down son!

Warlock, pact of the bladeumbrella/walking stick Archfey, where the Archfey is his sentient lawn grass?

[JAL_1138]

I think there has been a huge failing to realize the true answer... Bard
-one spell and its perfect

Viscous mockery
-you are welcome

But if you needed more, your ability to teach the youngins is produced by your bardic inspiration.. or in this case old man wisdom

I was going to chime in with Wizard because they're the classics, a "Cohen the Barbarian" reference that 2D8HP beat me to, or a grizzled-veteran Battlemaster who's "too old for this $&#%"...but the bard idea really is perfect for it. Vicious Mockery can weaponize how much of an old coot you are, grumbling so hard about "dagnabbed whippersnappers" and "back in my day" that it can literally kill people, or at least hurt them a bit and mess with their attack rolls.

"Dagnabbed whippersnappers and yer fancy-schmancy proficiency bonus. Back in MY day, we THAC0'd and we liked it!"

[Specter]

I say Druid. Eventually you can be grumpy forever (almost)! But be a Moon Druid, and be annoyed when you have to get into Wild Shape.

[ThurlRavenscrof]

I'd go cleric for high wisdom and dump dexterity

[JumboWheat01]

That brings up a point. Would Dexterity or Charisma be a better dump stat for a grumpy old man?

[ThurlRavenscrof]

That brings up a point. Would Dexterity or Charisma be a better dump stat for a grumpy old man?

Good point! But I think there's a difference between rude and uncharasmatic. Intimidation and deception are based on charisma and neither required politeness

[Princess]

I've seen a barbarian 1/Druid X played as a grumpy old man to great effect. If they don't get off your lawn, you rage and turn into a bear.

[Laserlight]

That brings up a point. Would Dexterity or Charisma be a better dump stat for a grumpy old man?

If you want to be realistic about it, CON. You've got something that aches all the time (for example, your right foot with plantar fasciitis, or that scar on your left knee that bothers you every time the weaher changes) and it takes you longer to heal from any injuries than it did 30 years ago.

[2D8HP]

...Would Dexterity or Charisma be a better dump stat for a grumpy old man?



If you want to be realistic about it, CON...


Since I can seldom resist the chance to bloviate about old D&D:

From the 1979 Dungeons Masters Guide:

Race: Human;

Young Adult: (14-20) Subtract 1 point of wisdom, add 1 point of constitution.

Mature: (21-40) Add 1 point of Strength, add 1 point of wisdom.

Middle Aged: (41-60) Subtract 1 point (or half exceptional rating) of strength and 1 point of constitution; add 1 point of intelligence and1 point of wisdom.

Old: (61-90) Subtract 2 point of strength and 2 points of dexterity, and 1 point of constitution; add 1 point of wisdom.

Venerable: (91-120) Subtract 1 point of strength, 1 point of dexterity, and 1 point of constitution; add 1 point of intelligence and 1 point of wisdom.....

.....And that actually doesn't fit my lived experience (I'll be 49 next month).

I was at my most intelligent (ability to learn, remember, and solve puzzles) as a teenager, and in my early 20's, but I was at my least wise (self-control).

Wisdom increased dramatically after age 25, but intelligence started to drop as well.

Dexterity increased until my early 30's, and then starting dropping.

Constitution and Strength took a big hit after a job injury in my early 30's, and have held steady since.

Intelligence started dropping faster in my 40's, and I need much more sleep to keep my wits.

And I've seen peoples Wisdom drop dramatically after dementia hits them in their 70's.

I've seen others retain incredibly high stats into their 80's until the death of a spouse or a traffic accident starts a steep decline.

Peoples work and relationships look to make a dramatic difference in how fast you age.

If you're a beloved tenured professor you'll age much slower than a mostly solitary "human forklift".

No joke.

[Hrdven]

I would vote for a monk, modeled on the turtle sage from dragon ball :-) as a bonus, at level 15 you get exemption from the maluses related to old age.

[Dappershire]

My family calls me the grumpy old man. Even though I'm only 26 years old. And I find it funny and entertaining and usually respond by say **** ya I am. So this got me thinking of coming up with a character that's a grumpy mid age man. We're he's not to old to go Adventureing but should retire with in a decade or two. I have one idea on what class to go with on this. I would like to say away from the crazy old wizard trope plz.


I'm not sure you know what a grumpy old man is, in order to play such a character trope.


But my vote is for once-retired Paladin.

[Sir cryosin]

I'm not sure you know what a grumpy old man is, in order to play such a character trope.


But my vote is for once-retired Paladin.

I'm the young blood on the farm with everyone's else is 42, 59, 70, 68, and I think 60 something.you trust me you don't know a grumpy old man if you haven't worked or met a old horse farmer.

[pwykersotz]

Everyone is saying Druid or Nature Cleric, but no one makes whippersnappers get off his lawn like a Warlock with repelling blast. :smalltongue:

[JumboWheat01]

Everyone is saying Druid or Nature Cleric, but no one makes whippersnappers get off his lawn like a Warlock with repelling blast. :smalltongue:

That's because there's a bit of a difference between making someone get off your lawn, and making someone make themselves get off your lawn.

[JAL_1138]

That's because there's a bit of a difference between making someone get off your lawn, and making someone make themselves get off your lawn.

In some parts of the country, e.g., in the Appalachian mountains up a holler so deep you've got to pipe in the sunshine from elsewhere, making people "git off [your] land, dagnabbit" is sometimes done with a shotgun loaded with rock salt. Repelling Blast kinda fits.

[rigolgm]

Monks, Druids and Nature Clerics all have the ability to get very old without degenerating. So are good options.

[Sir cryosin]

I think there has been a huge failing to realize the true answer... Bard
-one spell and its perfect

Viscous mockery
-you are welcome

But if you needed more, your ability to teach the youngins is produced by your bardic inspiration.. or in this case old man wisdom

I like that a old storyteller. Inspiration is old man wisdom, cunning words is the grumpy sharp tongue.

[Unoriginal]

Take the Historian feet and use it to tell stories about how things were back in your days and help people at the same time.

[Slipperychicken]

Fighter.

If you see a fighter with greying hair, you know not to mess with him. Anyone who has managed to live that long in such a deadly profession is either very smart or very dangerous.

[Sir cryosin]

Fighter.

If you see a fighter with greying hair, you know not to mess with him. Anyone who has managed to live that long in such a deadly profession is either very smart or very dangerous.

I was thinking of a wisdom and intelligence based Eldritch Knight. With Feat MI druid for sheleighle.

[Vaz]

So, he needs Dex, Con, Int, and now Wis...

Right. Well, you did say Grumpy, not Wise.

[KorvinStarmast]

Grumpy? A dwarf, obviously, and he got Grumpier once Snow White married that Prince and ran off to happily ever after. "No who will make pies and take care of us, did any of you think about that when you were helping her find true love? I Didn't Think So!" *Grumps about*

I'm just imagining a nature cleric or druid. "Get off my lawn... The whole world's my lawn." Yeah. That's a good answer, and it gets my vote.

[EternalPrime]

I know it's not 5e, but this is my suggestion: The curmudgeon class from the Land of Nod and Blood & Treasure.

http://matt-landofnod.blogspot.com/2013/01/in-my-day-curmudgeon-class.html

[Naanomi]

A wild sorcerer... the guy never had any magic his whole life, but when senility hit...

[ZorroGames]

Clearly the right answer is 'no class at all'. You're an NPC stat block (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=21005376&postcount=28).

"I remember back when your race was your class, you damned whippersnappers!"

OMG, that brought back White Box memories!

Nice response.

[ZorroGames]

Since I can seldom resist the chance to bloviate about old D&D:

From the 1979 Dungeons Masters Guide:

Race: Human;

Young Adult: (14-20) Subtract 1 point of wisdom, add 1 point of constitution.

Mature: (21-40) Add 1 point of Strength, add 1 point of wisdom.

Middle Aged: (41-60) Subtract 1 point (or half exceptional rating) of strength and 1 point of constitution; add 1 point of intelligence and1 point of wisdom.

Old: (61-90) Subtract 2 point of strength and 2 points of dexterity, and 1 point of constitution; add 1 point of wisdom.

Venerable: (91-120) Subtract 1 point of strength, 1 point of dexterity, and 1 point of constitution; add 1 point of intelligence and 1 point of wisdom.....

.....And that actually doesn't fit my lived experience (I'll be 49 next month).

I was at my most intelligent (ability to learn, remember, and solve puzzles) as a teenager, and in my early 20's, but I was at my least wise (self-control).

Wisdom increased dramatically after age 25, but intelligence started to drop as well.

Dexterity increased until my early 30's, and then starting dropping.

Constitution and Strength took a big hit after a job injury in my early 30's, and have held steady since.

Intelligence started dropping faster in my 40's, and I need much more sleep to keep my wits.

And I've seen peoples Wisdom drop dramatically after dementia hits them in their 70's.

I've seen others retain incredibly high stats into their 80's until the death of a spouse or a traffic accident starts a steep decline.

Peoples work and relationships look to make a dramatic difference in how fast you age.

If you're a beloved tenured professor you'll age much slower than a mostly solitary "human forklift".

No joke.


Dude, you keep bringing back the memories (or is it flashbacks?) and making me feel old... dangnabbit.

[2D8HP]

OMG, that brought back White Box memories!

Nice response.


Dude, you keep bringing back the memories (or is it flashbacks?) and making me feel old... dangnabbit.


Super glad to have you aboard the Forum ZorroGames!

FWIW, I (just barely played) D&D in the 1970's with a DM who used "white box" (and Greyhawk, and Blackmoor, etc.), but by the time I played the AD&D Monster Manual was already out and in use, so I didn't get to play OD&D "undiluted.

My hats off to you.

(also thanks again Ninja_Prawn)

:cool:

[Joe the Rat]

I think there has been a huge failing to realize the true answer... Bard
-one spell and its perfect

Viscous mockery
-you are welcome

But if you needed more, your ability to teach the youngins is produced by your bardic inspiration.. or in this case old man wisdom
Tomelocks can do it too (You could blast people all day, but this is more fun. And you can do it tied up). Though Lore's cutting words fit nicely. Pick up Inspiring Leader to insult people into temp hp.


My vote: Undying Warlock. In time, those young whipper-snappers will start to include greybearded Dwarves and Dragons... Go Tome for the original rules (ritual) book, vicious mockery, and the ability for a scrawny old man to threaten everyone with his cane (shillelagh).

Racewise, I prefer gnomes or halflings, as their grumpiness is more atypical, and they invoke the Miniature Senior Citizens trope.

[JakOfAllTirades]

I'd go with the UA Bard College of Whispers, just for the Venomous Words feature.

Creating fear and paranoia for an hour just by talking to someone is the epitome of a cranky old man.