Funny Characters

[Ivor_The_Mad]

Who here while doing a dungeon has had/been that one person who always makes the weirdest choices or doing something so unexpected the DM says something like "You do WHAT!!?" or just gives you a blank expression and in the end every one cracks up? Thats what i'm looking for so please post them. Thanks.

[the_brazenburn]

Anorexic death cleric. Refuses to eat on long ocean voyages, then binges as soon as she has 3 levels of exhaustion. "Screwed the crew" by killing them all and resurrecting them as zombies because they were eating too much. Trusted orcs who offered her starving shipmates food. Stayed with them for weeks getting fat. Killed them all in the middle of the night with a rusty meat cleaver because they "burned her steak". I have a weird party.

[Laserlight]

We have a couple of players like that, usually as a combination of good RP and not thinking things through.

Example: The paladin/rogue grabs a rope and swings over to the Sacrificial Damsel Dangling Above the Pit. Rather than land on the rope bridge just past her, he cuts the rope suspending her and grabs her.
I point out "So, you're holding onto your rope with one hand, and holding the girl with one hand, and cutting the rope?"
Him: "I'm not holding her. She doesn't have any clothes on! I'm going to have penance just for doing this with my eyes open! I'm holding her rope."
Me: "Whatever. But you're using three hands there: your rope, girl rope, sword."
Him: "Oh. Yeah." (hopefully) "That doesn't work?"
Me: "Which one do you drop?"
Him: "Oh, the sword, of course."
Me: "That's probably the only rapier available unless you turn around and go back to the coast."
Him: "Yeah. But...the sword."

After a series of D20 rolls in which he is consistently unable to roll higher than a 4, he ends up upside down, clinging to the rope holding the girl (which is now swinging below him, also upside down), with his eyes tightly shut, and prevented from falling only because his ankle had gotten entangled with one of the ropes from the bridge. One of the more thoughtful characters eventually rescued the damsel, and (somewhat reluctantly) the paladin. The paladin spent almost the entire rest of the campaign smiting with a borrowed knife.

[Mortis_Elrod]

Have you read this? (https://1d4chan.org/images/b/b1/This-is-how-i-monk.jpg)

[ThurlRavenscrof]

I sold an NPC formaldehyde in a drug deal. The drug deal wasn't apart of quest or anything. I just had extra formaldehyde...

[Zakhara]

I rolled a wandering merchant garbed in pretty much every article of clothing you can think of (think Gogo).

His build was to be "at least one level in every class".

He had no indoor voice, sounding every bit like the love child of Dr.Teeth, Cyril Sneer, and Rick Sanchez.

ZIGGY, MAN OF MANY COLOURS

[ProsecutorGodot]

I've got a Mystic in my campaign who happened to roll a 20 for his quirk. He has a wonderful imaginary friend.

Now whenever he uses Seeking Missile to land a missed attack, everyone else will see the arrow homing in on the target but he see's his special friend grabbing it and jamming it into the neck of the poor sap. He and his friend then exchange a thumbs up.

[Waterdeep Merch]

I wasn't at the table, but during a convention-style day of Pathfinder, there was an underground pit fighting arena where they had a menagerie of animals fight each other for disreputable types to bet on. Their mission was to get information out of the proprietor. After causing a big fight and taking the proprietor captive, the druid (magnificently done CN, here) freed the animals, then took her to a fish tank and told the party he was going to drill her for information.

This was sort of a lie. Instead, he starts drowning her while yelling about how disgusting she was for torturing all of those animals. She does beg the rest of the party for help and divulges the info they needed, but the druid finishes by tying a rock to her foot and throwing THAT in. As the party asks if they should stop him, he says 'there's no time, we're on a mission'. They all leave.

On their way out- they're in the middle of a port town, mind you- the druid suddenly turns back around and says "Keep going, I'll catch up. I forgot something." The party continues, still a bit terrified of their ecoterrorist buddy. He shows back up, smiling.
"Did you get what you went back for?"
"Yeah, I did. We'd better hurry up and get out of here."
"...Why?"

He set the place on fire.