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View Full Version : If you were a wizard in a fantasy land, what would your research be?



S@tanicoaldo
2017-05-23, 07:23 PM
So, after years of intense study and dedication, after slaying countless mystical creatures and exploring alien and supernatural realms you have done it.

You are now a level 20 wizard with a lot of magical power at your disposal.

Now that you have reached this point, what do you plan to do? You have your own lab in your own secluded tower.

What is you research about? What do you plan to achieve?

To reach immortality? To gain eternal youth? To create unflawed original life? To ascend to godhood, or to achieve inconceivable mastery of magic, which may be the same? To catalogue the histories of your past selves or past influences? To travel through time? To restore a lost species or specimen to life? To discover the hidden name(s) and bindings of a certain significant extra dimensional entity? To catalogue a variety of mystical creatures? To transfer yourself via portal to another planet or domain? To divest yourself of some unwanted element of your identity, history, or psyche? To invest yourself or a portion of yourself into a magically receptive device or construct? To take on a form or identity significantly unlike yourself?

What's your plan?

Winter_Wolf
2017-05-23, 07:37 PM
"Things that go BOOM". Explosions are fun. Hey, even a wizard-20 needs a hobby. Bigger and better magical nukes. Start with planet destroyers, then solar system destroyers. Eventually while galaxies worth of destruction.

Vitruviansquid
2017-05-23, 08:36 PM
I guess I'd research how to ascend.

Man, wizards love ascending.

I never met a wizard who wasn't excited about ascension.

Quertus
2017-05-23, 09:39 PM
To reach immortality? To gain eternal youth? To create unflawed original life? To ascend to godhood, or to achieve inconceivable mastery of magic, which may be the same? To catalogue the histories of your past selves or past influences? To travel through time? To restore a lost species or specimen to life? To discover the hidden name(s) and bindings of a certain significant extra dimensional entity? To catalogue a variety of mystical creatures? To transfer yourself via portal to another planet or domain? To divest yourself of some unwanted element of your identity, history, or psyche? To invest yourself or a portion of yourself into a magically receptive device or construct? To take on a form or identity significantly unlike yourself?

Well, you pretty much covered most of my plan right there. :smallwink:

Wizard 20 implies D&D. In case I was in the wrong world / edition, I'd use / research spells to get me where I'd rather be.

Then immorality. And most of the stuff you listed. And an eternity of researching cool new spells, like all the cool new programs I build IRL.


I never met a wizard who wasn't excited about ascension.

Quertus says hi. He's one of my few characters who explicitly doesn't have divinity as an end goal.

Lvl 2 Expert
2017-05-23, 09:51 PM
In D&D probably not immortality.

There is a system of afterlives in place more grand and complex than the material plane. And everyone you know is going there. Down on earth there are only junior spirits, kids. Up there are all the sages and magical masters. I'd rather figure out how to freely move around all these planes when I do die.

Guizonde
2017-05-23, 10:25 PM
how to break the fourth wall and invade earth for the sole purpose of abolishing pants.

... might as well chase windmills when you already break reality for breakfast, right?

Madbox
2017-05-23, 10:37 PM
Deeper understanding of how magic works. What causes it to function? What are its limits? Is magic an energy field? A wave? A particle? Particle/wave duality? A dead god's remnants? How can magic be measured, and is said measurement granular, or infinitely divisible? Does magic decay over time, or grow? Has the amount of magic in the world always been the same?

It is hard to think about these things when the big stupid fighter keeps dragging you off to save the kingdom.

JBPuffin
2017-05-24, 12:47 AM
How to redeem the unredeemable - demons, devils, et cetera. After that, purify some succubi (hopefully while switching off the level drain thing) and set up a temple in my name. Godhood awaits!

No, seriously, that's about the sort of long-term goal I'd set for a DnD version of me.

Kane0
2017-05-24, 01:36 AM
Hrm.
Some means to ease the transition into the afterlife. Things like retaining abilities and memories when you become a petitioner.
When I need a break from that probably coming up with awesome quality of life improvements for the locals.

Kitten Champion
2017-05-24, 01:56 AM
I'd probably go the fantastic beasts and where to find them route.

I'd make a pretty dull wizard having no great personal ambition whatsoever, but I do think I could get out of bed each morning and travel yonder if there's some promise of observing unique creatures and how they be.

weckar
2017-05-24, 01:58 AM
I'd finally find a way to rid the world of earworms once and for all. Catchy tunes shall no longer plague the working man!

S@tanicoaldo
2017-05-24, 09:33 AM
I'd finally find a way to rid the world of earworms once and for all. Catchy tunes shall no longer plague the working man!

Get ready to have some visits from the assassin guild hired by the music industry.:smallamused:

LibraryOgre
2017-05-24, 09:37 AM
Healing spells for wizards. Clerics get to blow **** up in D&D, these days. It's time to let wizards heal.

Quertus
2017-05-24, 10:22 AM
In D&D probably not immortality.

There is a system of afterlives in place more grand and complex than the material plane. And everyone you know is going there. Down on earth there are only junior spirits, kids. Up there are all the sages and magical masters. I'd rather figure out how to freely move around all these planes when I do die.

Well, according top the OP, I'm here, so all those so-called "great" sages of the past should be clamoring to get to where the real master is! :smallcool:

Besides, in most D&D afterlives, being a petitioner (or worse!) means no memories, let alone no trace of your former power. It's a fail state, not a goal.

Unless you worship Amalak's God of Death. All other gods care about life - this one cares about the afterlife. You're only alive for a short time - whose retirement plan would you rather have?

Under that god, I might agree with you - but no one of my caliber would await me on the other side, even then, as no great sages and master mages converted, IIRC.


How to redeem the unredeemable - demons, devils, et cetera. After that, purify some succubi (hopefully while switching off the level drain thing) and set up a temple in my name. Godhood awaits!

No, seriously, that's about the sort of long-term goal I'd set for a DnD version of me.

I've played a few characters like that. One, sadly, in a party that believed in killing rather than redeeming. I approve of your goal - especially if you're aiming to become the God of Redemption.


Healing spells for wizards. Clerics get to blow **** up in D&D, these days. It's time to let wizards heal.

Wizards can, with Epic Spells and, what, 25 ranks in Knowledge:Religion? :smalltongue:

noob
2017-05-24, 10:44 AM
They can also heal with polymorph.

xroads
2017-05-24, 10:49 AM
Probably spells to understand/manipulate natural phenomena such as storms, volcanoes, and tarrasques. Because, why not?

Though the altruist in me does wonder if maybe I should spend that research time on more productive/utilitarian spells. :smallbiggrin:

The Eye
2017-05-24, 12:31 PM
Become the ruler of small city and create an utopia.

By mass producing golems the citizens under my domain would not need to do hard labor such as farming and war, they would have no responsibilities so they can dedicate their lives to art, culture and joy.

NichG
2017-05-24, 01:23 PM
To start with, lets make a proper suite of analytical spells. We've got all these spells for blowing stuff up and asking gods annoying questions with a chance of insanity or even 'create some arbitrary thing', but we don't have a Microscope spell or a Discern Composition spell. Then, spells to determine things about spells themselves, looking for variations and phenomena at the sub-spell scale.

Next, establish the computational bounds of the magic's subconscious. Spells can trigger off of, interpret, and influence things at a fairly abstract cognitive level - which means that spells (or magic itself) have things like sensory inputs, cognitive functions, etc. What's doing the thinking? Is it interconnected? What are its limits?

Tying it all together, the goal would be to harvest the computational resources of magic itself to create an 'implied reality', where things exist because magic itself is 'thinking' about them. Then try to bridge that with the physical world via Godel-style self-referential statements.

Of course the result could just be that rather than the complex logic blocks going off correctly, a simple paper card shows up saying 'knock it off, you're giving me a headache, next time you try this I'm teleporting you into a swamp'.

Karl Aegis
2017-05-24, 02:06 PM
Somewhere between surgery and engineering. Samuraization surgery, Shinobization surgery, Mechanica implants, Meikyo and Kimen Konghokis and Yorois. Maybe some snake-body Yorois. That kind of thing. Maybe I'll save up enough money to get a Kugutsu assistant. You know, stuff that get you a bit of respect, people who will look out for your well-being and enough money to live somewhere.

Jay R
2017-05-24, 02:33 PM
By that point I would be much more intelligent than I am now, and with a much greater knowledge of what magic can do. My plan would be something brilliant which I cannot comprehend at present.

Squiddish
2017-05-24, 03:17 PM
I'd say time travel and non-necromantic immortality would be a good place to start. Then, I travel the universe.

Also, some serious research into the nature of magic.

Bohandas
2017-05-25, 02:46 PM
Besides, in most D&D afterlives, being a petitioner (or worse!) means no memories, let alone no trace of your former power. It's a fail state, not a goal.

You've got to remember that most people are commoners and thus improved in stature by petitionerness. A lantern archon is a fourth level summon.

Mr. E
2017-05-25, 03:35 PM
I would develop the tools and spells to analyse magic more deeply (a time slowdown device to allow me to watch and playback events at any rate I choose, a tracing device to work out where magic goes to and comes from and so on). The global aim would be to simplify the study of magic with a long term goal of making magic available to as many members of the population as possible. After all, if everybody can cast Goodberry then famine is no longer a problem. If everyone can cast Mending then we can eliminate a lot of waste in society.

oxybe
2017-05-25, 10:50 PM
A) Conditional immortality. Basically I live forever, until I say otherwise. None of this "outlive the the planet and then stuck floating in space for eternity" BS

B)To paraphrase (read:scrub out the profanity) myself in Reddit in a discussion we had about the 5th ed playtest module "the mud sorcerer's tomb" and it's litteral invincible walls you can't teleport through:


Look.. if I, Oxybe, was the badguy in question I would have made the whole dungeon just 2 rooms made of that Unbreakium you can't teleport through.

First room is a 30ftx5ft long corridor that shuts the door behind the party once they get within 5 ft from the end, which is a door. On that door is a dumb riddle that has nothing to do with the room as the ceiling falls down immediately to crush them when the door is touched.

Because the only way to safely open that door is to touch it while holding the key, and the trap is reset with a remote car starter to activate/deactivate the trap remotely. Both of which I have on my person. On the other side of the door. Because I made that my bachelor pad of awesomeness.

Because if I can afford enough "HAHA!"-ium and magical traps to make a whole goshdarn dungeon out of the stuff, I can probably consolidate my funds to afford a smaller place with a good hermetic seal on the door, an unbreakable peephole to look on the other side (or a crystal ball or something instead), a self-stocking minifridge, heating/air conditioning, an air recycler, some lighting, an Evercomfy Bed, a few good books and a hat of disguise+broom of flying if I ever wanted to go out undercover to get new books or something, and have it guarded by the "bugger you" room of doom. And I can spend the rest of my money blinging the heck of out that room.

The end.

That's how a competent villain does stuff. No faffing about with traps or puzzles to test the worthyness of your foes. You put a good lock and a puzzle that's just there to take people's attention away from their imminent doom just long enough for it to kill them. Because who cares if the puzzle is solved, you've just gotten rid of those pesky adventurers who are here to take your stuff, that you likely took because it's original owner decided to put a puzzle instead of a security device in front of it.

Then again, I'm a wee bit of a misanthrope. There are people I like, I just don't like people in general.

Bohandas
2017-05-26, 12:09 AM
Wasn't that basically how Tomb of Horrors worked?

oxybe
2017-05-26, 12:47 AM
Wasn't that basically how Tomb of Horrors worked?

Sort of, only Acerak was pretty wasteful in how he managed his materials and resources IMO as he simply went for quantity of deathtraps over anything else and his furnishings weren't practical for someone looking to live out their lives in comfort. I would have to fish out the module, but I don't remember any actual entertainment being there in his skull room or what his gameplan was other then "hang out in room with treasure" for eternity as a fancy undead paperweight.

For me, the worst case scenario is that I just have to outlive my problems that can't be solved by "ceiling falls" while still having a really nice place where I can Scry and Chill, read trashy halfling novels, eat some poutine and not have to talk to people or work outside of my own indulgences. Acerak just kinda overcomplicated things with the big tomb setup.

I just want a hidey-hole where I don't need to interact with people, because: magic.

Knaight
2017-05-26, 12:58 AM
I'd go about dealing with human's big enemies - disease and famine. Targeted disease eradication of particularly nasty diseases, development of vaccination spells, crop resilience, and just generally spells of that nature.

GuzWaatensen
2017-05-26, 06:06 AM
I would find a way to convert an extradimensional demiplane into a huge self-contained factory that builds nearly indestructible golem copies of myself (which should ideally retain all my spellcasting abilities). I'd then bind my soul to that factory so that I can inhabit and control any of the golems at will. Then I'd take control of one of the golems and polymorph it into the pet of some unsuspecting adventurer. If said adventure ever needs to save the world against improbable odds, I'll reveal myself solve the problem in 2 minutes with my indestructible spellcaster golem army and have his party cry 'Deus Ex Machina' until all eternity.

Vknight
2017-05-26, 06:32 AM
Time Travel I build it into the tower and I make the tower appear smaller on the outside.
I use Simulacrums to transfer my consciousness in death into young bodies with the same power and abilities. Or a phylactery and travel the cosmos and time to study all things. Also collect some wards to keep my eternal life(maybe unlife) interesting and lively.

Bohandas
2017-05-26, 10:36 AM
A) Conditional immortality. Basically I live forever, until I say otherwise. None of this "outlive the the planet and then stuck floating in space for eternity" BS

Due to the thermodynamic violations involved therein a truly immortal being would be able to spawn a new planet out of thwir own blood over the course of many many years

ExLibrisMortis
2017-05-26, 11:13 AM
Fusion + astral seed + shapechange/polymorph any object + trait removal + greater humanoid essence/aspect of the wolf. Custom-build your chimera.

Quertus
2017-05-26, 06:03 PM
Fusion + astral seed + shapechange/polymorph any object + trait removal + greater humanoid essence/aspect of the wolf. Custom-build your chimera.

Could you baby step me through that one? That sounds like a goal one of my characters has had for decades now.

AnBe
2017-05-26, 07:21 PM
First immortality, then the bitches.

Vknight
2017-05-27, 12:44 AM
First immortality, then the bitches.

So mine then?

ExLibrisMortis
2017-05-27, 05:44 AM
Could you baby step me through that one? That sounds like a goal one of my characters has had for decades now.
Well, the fusion + astral seed combination lets you combine two creatures and make the combination permanent, with one creature in charge (and the other presumably dead, but whatever).

Fusion has the following limits:
Target must be:

willing,
of the same type,
living,
corporeal, and
of the same size or smaller.


Astral seed lets you to store a backup of your current form and abilities, so you manifest it while the fusion is active, then die, get reborn, and have all the abilities. As per the power's text:

You possess all the abilities you possessed when astral seed was manifested [...]

Shapechange and polymorph any object serve two purposes: first, it allows us to get around type restrictions, and second, it allows us to create willing creatures by repeatedly altering and fusing with our psicrystal. The nice thing about psicrystals is that they are (mentally) a fragment of your own personality, so even DM screw shouldn't lead to disparate-minds-trapped-in-one-body shenanigans.

Greater humanoid essence lets us fuse with constructs. Aspect of the wolf can give anything the animal type, if it's convenient. I think there are similar spells around for undead, outsiders, elementals and so on. Greater metamorphosis will help as well, and ghost trap can make creatures corporeal. Naturally, expansion can do its bit, as well, for example for elder brains and chronotryns (assuming a medium wizard).

Trait removal is a spell from Serpent Kingdoms that lets you remove annoying (Ex) and (Su) abilities. For example, the mind shard of Pandorym has a host of great abilities, but it also has Limited Existence (Ex), which is not the kind of ability you want on an immortal god-wizard. Ability rip is another cool ability that does similar work.

Cluedrew
2017-05-27, 07:32 AM
Well, by the time my D&D version becomes a level 20 wizard, they would have more than a few levels in paladin and monk. (No I'm not optimized, reality doesn't plan like that, I might have a level in barbarian from my childhood.) So I would probably spend some time praying & meditating on the question. Assuming no better ideas came to me, I would begin working on the following.

Create detect evil artifacts that allow anyone who has them to use the ability of the same name. I might need help from my god for this but I think I could get that. This has some uses but for the most part it is actually exploratory research for the next thing, if I can't do it I can skip it.

Develop the Detect Fault spells. Detect evil has a distinct lack of granularity and there are many more subtitle reasons why people do wrong. Detect lies might be a nice utility, detect deceit would be even better. Detect selfishness, detect wrath, detect delusion and so on detect more causes and at the same time identify them more closely so appropriate counter measures can be used.

Then start working on counters. Start with variants of the zone of truth like the zone of non-violence. Then move on to things like the empathy spell, a two way shallow mindreading spell for adding communication, not the mere transmission of words.

And that is all I can figure out for now, that might be all I have time for. I don't care to live forever, that's kind of selfish.

Fable Wright
2017-05-27, 11:08 AM
Well, the fusion + astral seed combination lets you combine two creatures and make the combination permanent, with one creature in charge (and the other presumably dead, but whatever).

So, why is the Fusion permanent after the Astral Seed, but not the Shapechange?

ExLibrisMortis
2017-05-27, 02:02 PM
So, why is the Fusion permanent after the Astral Seed, but not the Shapechange?
(The effects of) Both are, yep. That's why you need to be careful with the forms you select, and you may need to go through a few suboptimal forms (no humanoid shape for instance) before settling on your ideal form. The advantage is that you can add two sets of abilities to your base form per casting of astral seed.

If your DM allows you to dismiss the shapechange (or use it to return to your base form) while fusion is active, that will work as well.

Amazon
2017-05-27, 08:23 PM
First immortality, then the bitches.

Not mind controlled "bitches" right? If so I have a problem with that.

AnBe
2017-05-27, 09:07 PM
Nah, man. That's akin to rape. Mind control isn't really my thing anyway.

Cealocanth
2017-05-27, 09:44 PM
Being a genetic engineering major IRL, I would probably be trying to exploit necromancy along with either druidic nature magic or healing magic to try to create magically synthesized life from raw materials. I guess that makes me the wizard who 'did it'.

Amazon
2017-05-28, 10:53 AM
Being a genetic engineering major IRL, I would probably be trying to exploit necromancy along with either druidic nature magic or healing magic to try to create magically synthesized life from raw materials. I guess that makes me the wizard who 'did it'.

http://magiccards.info/scans/en/di/110.jpg

"Of course it will grow beyond control—it was designed to choose its own evolution."
—Momir Vig

Kane0
2017-05-28, 05:53 PM
Recreating the Locate City Bomb, then refining it to ever greater levels of catastrophic potential. Better yet, find a way to place it within an easily activated single use item for remote use via charmed summoned minions or what-have-you. Would make an excellent McGuffin.

Then maybe test it out on the abyss or something.

Natediggadoggit
2017-05-29, 02:42 AM
I'd love to research the DM. There's this power or presence when in this world that messes with your path, and puts obstacles in your way. Some call it Disgruntled Mechanics, some a Diabolical Meddler, Dimensional Maestro, or Dispassionate Moderator. Whatever it is, it's spooky, and deserves further study.

Kitten Champion
2017-05-29, 03:27 AM
I'd love to research the DM. There's this power or presence when in this world that messes with your path, and puts obstacles in your way. Some call it Disgruntled Mechanics, some a Diabolical Meddler, Dimensional Maestro, or Dispassionate Moderator. Whatever it is, it's spooky, and deserves further study.

There's a fun little meta-styled book called NPCs by Drew Hayes where the Wizard antagonist is revealed to have researched the Other Side and developed the ability to manipulate real-world dice roles and has been sending all the Adventurers raiding his dungeon to goofy and highly improbable deaths.

Lvl 2 Expert
2017-05-29, 01:23 PM
I think I might go into magical animal (and anything close enough) "breeding". Pocket giants, wrong way around centaurs, swanicorns, you name it I make it.

GungHo
2017-05-30, 09:42 AM
I'd do things that the laws of thermodynamics don't let me do, like perpetual motion machines and cold fusion. And then I'd go get James Randi to give me my $1m.

Alcore
2017-05-30, 12:14 PM
Hmm.... Level 20 wizard with my own tower? Sounds like i adventured with others too. I'm more of a builder ad scholar than a researcher so I'll be an evoker with illusions and enchantment as band schools....


Alright, i have 'me' in my head.


Achieve lichdom and continue to pass myself off as alive when company shows up. After that i would research the 'Genesis' spell (was that it's proper name?) And create my own demiplane. I would likely make it timeless if able and cast the spell as often as required. I would then make, by spells with contructs to help, a giant castle/dungeon i would call 'the vualt'. I would then hand carve my spells into the vary walls turning the whole thing into one large spellbook.

In the deepest part would be the 'mausoleum' where i would enshrine the remains of my dead companions. In large metal books would be the recorded history of each one. I would leave some space for more comrades as i continue to adventure (provided i finish building)

The building would have at least one of the following features;
A throne room (so i can look awesome as i rest for spells)
A library (filled with heavy but durable metal books)
An office (to transcribe rare books onto metal copies)
Several workshops for various craft skills



Running out of steam but i am sure i could keep going later :smallamused:

icefyer
2017-05-30, 12:23 PM
Healing spells for wizards. Clerics get to blow **** up in D&D, these days. It's time to let wizards heal.

Well, in 5e Unearthed Arcana there's the Theurge Wizard. They can select cleric spells in addition to wizard ones, and in UA there's a new level 1 wizard spell that lets you spawn a 2d4 I think + spellcasting bonus healing potion.

Hell, with Clone you're technically immortal. Stash that in a demiplane with the tuning fork you need for a planar teleportation spell that I forget the name of along with other supplies like spellbooks and whatever else you might need and you've got your own little extradimensional home that no one else can touch unless they know it exists.

Sariel Vailo
2017-05-30, 03:42 PM
All magical knowledge. First off,secondly ascending to arcfeydom than god of magic and songs in the fey pantheon as a darkelf even replace lolth wholesale.as the spider queen of songs and magic but still be a part of corrlelons pantheon. And after that from tike to time send my avatar down to do study new magics maybe teach a hero or so on. Also under a pen name publish books on magical knowledge and the various adventures and locations ive been to.

Logosloki
2017-05-31, 08:26 AM
Before Ascending (because ascending means I will need to start to consider domains and either suborning them or being subordinate to them) I would try out a few other classes, research a better and more efficient way to level and then crack down on ritual magic to cut down on the time and material cost for a ritual spell and whether a ritual can be user-agnostic so that non-archanodivine beings can utiliase rituals. Then find out if there is a practical limit on what can be a ritual. THEN what is the practical limit to what can be a spell. Probably at some point I will have to ascend at that point.