Do waiters judge what kinds of food you order?

[The Eye]

People always told me they don't since they don't even remember your face; you are just one out of many, if you got to a waiter and say “I’ll have the usual” they will mostly likely say “Who the hell are you? Never saw your face before!”.

But, every Thursday I always stop by the same restaurant, right before it opens for lunch, I ask the same meal and usually for the same waiter.

Today, I went to it and I could see the waiter looked at me, and he whispered something to his friends, after I asked my usual order... They started laughing. What the hell? Did he beat I was going to order the same thing I order every day?

Isn't that kind of rude? Why do I end up in these awkward and embarrassing situations?

[lunaticfringe]

Yes. People are constantly judging you. It's going to happen for the rest of your life. You do it too.

[Kyberwulf]

The funny thing about this is. you claim to go to the same place, order from the same person. Yet you don't even mention you know her name. I am assuming her.

Do waiters judge people? Yeah, for the most part. They only really remember you if you do something really nice, or are a jerk to them. If you are just some random person who comes in once and you don't do anything particularly memorable. Then no, they don't know remember.

To assume someone is talking about you is kind of arrogant. They could have just been having a conversation. You walk in and they look at you, to acknowledge you then went on with their conversation.

[Razade]

People always told me they don't since they don't even remember your face; you are just one out of many, if you got to a waiter and say “I’ll have the usual” they will mostly likely say “Who the hell are you? Never saw your face before!”.

No they won't. Not if you're a regular customer and they know you by face. They'll go "is that the X"? to make sure they got it right or if you really go there every day and it's always the same waiter they'll just say ok. Hell, I've had a few places that I went to at the same time, every day, the same waiter who had the meal WAITING for me.


But, every Thursday I always stop by the same restaurant, right before it opens for lunch, I ask the same meal and usually for the same waiter.

You were asking for a meal for someone who works somewhere? Or do you mean this waiter is the one that typically takes your order?


Today, I went to it and I could see the waiter looked at me, and he whispered something to his friends, after I asked my usual order... They started laughing. What the hell? Did he beat I was going to order the same thing I order every day?

Maybe? Who cares if they did.


Isn't that kind of rude? Why do I end up in these awkward and embarrassing situations?

Without knowing why he was laughing I'd say...no? Did they then go "you always order the same thing, you must really like that dish"? Did you ask why they were laughing?


Yes. People are constantly judging you. It's going to happen for the rest of your life. You do it too.

Demonstrably he does.

[Knaight]

First things first - it's entirely possible that the conversation was not actually about you, where "entirely possible" translates to "likely". Even if they are judging by the food, who cares? I'm not going to say that you should be able to totally ignore what strangers think of you, because that's an unrealistic expectation and not even particularly desirable, but in this case even the judgement that you're assuming has happened is just a comment that you eat the same thing a lot. It's recognition of a minor quirk*, and is generally seen as recognition of a minor quirk*.

*If that, lots of people eat the same thing a lot.

[SaintRidley]

People always told me they don't since they don't even remember your face; you are just one out of many, if you got to a waiter and say “I’ll have the usual” they will mostly likely say “Who the hell are you? Never saw your face before!”.

But, every Thursday I always stop by the same restaurant, right before it opens for lunch, I ask the same meal and usually for the same waiter.

Today, I went to it and I could see the waiter looked at me, and he whispered something to his friends, after I asked my usual order... They started laughing. What the hell? Did he beat I was going to order the same thing I order every day?

Isn't that kind of rude? Why do I end up in these awkward and embarrassing situations?

Well, what do you order?

Because some things are worthy of judgment. Like anyone who orders a steak cooked more than medium rare who is not a child.

[Starwulf]

Well, what do you order?

Because some things are worthy of judgment. Like anyone who orders a steak cooked more than medium rare who is not a child.

No, no it is not worthy of judgement. I really dislike people who get on others cases who don't like their steaks with pink/red in it. I personally will literally gag if I see even a hint of pink in my steak, so it is always well-done. On the other hand, my wife just prefers well-done, and has tried medium-rare and found it to be not to her tastes. Judging people by how they like their food cooked is one of the most rude and idiotic things a person can do, besides of course judging them based on gender/race/sexuality/religion.

As you can tell, I am very opinionated on this subject, I get so sick and tired of chefs/waiters looking at me like I just grew a second or even a third damn head when I ask for my steak to be well-done. You have no right to do so, just do your freaking job and get me my food.

[Aedilred]

The funny thing about this is. you claim to go to the same place, order from the same person. Yet you don't even mention you know her name. I am assuming her.
Even though he refers to him as "he"?

No, no it is not worthy of judgement. I really dislike people who get on others cases who don't like their steaks with pink/red in it. I personally will literally gag if I see even a hint of pink in my steak, so it is always well-done. On the other hand, my wife just prefers well-done, and has tried medium-rare and found it to be not to her tastes. Judging people by how they like their food cooked is one of the most rude and idiotic things a person can do, besides of course judging them based on gender/race/sexuality/religion.

As you can tell, I am very opinionated on this subject, I get so sick and tired of chefs/waiters looking at me like I just grew a second or even a third damn head when I ask for my steak to be well-done. You have no right to do so, just do your freaking job and get me my food.
Maybe it makes them "literally sick" in the same way it makes you "literally gag" to see a trace of pink in your steak?

I don't know about the type of steak you're ordering, but generally there's no point in ordering anything more tender than rump steak anything better-done than "medium". What you're paying for is the tenderness and those steaks tend to have less in the way of flavour: the longer they're cooked the less flavour they retain. Ordering, say, a fillet, well-done is therefore wasting an unnecessarily expensive cut of meat. It's in the same family as, though admittedly not as bad as, ordering the most expensive wine on the menu despite knowing nothing about wine, just because you can. You'd probably be happier with a burger, or a cheaper wine, and it'd save you money too. To someone in a (near enough) minimum-wage job, it doesn't look good.

That's probably why they're judging you. Or maybe you're just oversensitive and perceive them to be judging you when they're not.

[Starwulf]

Even though he refers to him as "he"?

Maybe it makes them "literally sick" in the same way it makes you "literally gag" to see a trace of pink in your steak?

I don't know about the type of steak you're ordering, but generally there's no point in ordering anything more tender than rump steak anything better-done than "medium". What you're paying for is the tenderness and those steaks tend to have less in the way of flavour: the longer they're cooked the less flavour they retain. Ordering, say, a fillet, well-done is therefore wasting an unnecessarily expensive cut of meat. It's in the same family as, though admittedly not as bad as, ordering the most expensive wine on the menu despite knowing nothing about wine, just because you can. You'd probably be happier with a burger, or a cheaper wine, and it'd save you money too. To someone in a (near enough) minimum-wage job, it doesn't look good.

That's probably why they're judging you. Or maybe you're just oversensitive and perceive them to be judging you when they're not.

I don't order fancy steaks, just a flat iron steak or whatever they might have that isn't terribly expensive. And no, they are judging me, I've been asked on many occasions "Are you sure you want it well-done" with a "Eww" look on their face.

And no offense, but I can't imagine how a person orders their food(at least, if it's a common food, I mean..there is balut and stuff like that) would make someone gag, not even if I was shelling out a hundred bucks or more for a steak(as an fyi, I'm poor, the most I've ever shelled out for a meal is $60). I've literally thrown up before because a place I was at sent me out a medium-rare steak, and I wasn't paying attention and took a bite. I immediately knew something was terribly, terribly wrong, looked down, saw the red, and threw up all over the floor(I didn't even have a chance to get up, it was nigh-instant).

And no, I wouldn't be "happier with a hamburger". I love steaks, one of my favorite meals, especially with caramelized onions(yum). And I've had plenty of tender steaks that were well-done. Well-done does not mean "Leathery" or "Burnt" like so many people believe. You can have a perfectly tender well-done steak, but most people, including you apparently, believe it just can't or shouldn't be done. It's not your place(Or their place, or anyone's place) to judge how I eat my food, and that goes triply for the restaurant I'm at. I'm a paying customer, and I'm not asking for anything outrageous, so keep your looks and comments to yourselves and give me my food the way I asked for it.(To be clear, this last part is not directed at you, it's me in a hypothetical restaurant that's being annoying by questioning my food prep).

[Rain Dragon]

It's probably best to not worry too much, OP. It was probably a coincidence or something and if they were judging you, it's pretty hard to say and might just have been a one off thing. Maybe I'm a bit laid back but IME selling things in a small shop, it's pretty pointless for me to judge whoever buying whatever and can even be a bit discouraging to customers if they pick up on it. Everyone has different tastes/interests and that's fine by me. :smallsmile:

[sktarq]

*Waiters have conversation*
*OP walks into diner*
*waiter 1 continues conversation*
*waiters 2 holds off so as not to interupt professional relations between waiter 1 and OP*
*joke is completed*
*waiters 1 and 2 laugh*

Why assume they are laughing about you/your order, especially since you seem to think they don't recognize/remember you.

That said I'd say the chance they DON't know you by at least face/order is low. People have pretty good memories and once you show up more than a couple times they generally click in.
I don't think I've actually said what I want to order at my local bar in a couple months (and if I put my stuff down and go to say hi to someone my drink will appear by my stuff-I love that bar).

[JeenLeen]

I'd agree with the others that they likely were not laughing about you, but about something unrelated.
Now, it would be rude if they were laughing at you. I think it is slightly rude, or at least unprofessional, to continue a personal conversation like that around when customers are present--but I think I was way more a stickler for professional courtesy when I worked fast food than most of my co-workers. (I think it's poor taste for employees to carry on personal conversations around customers.)

I'd also say the guy probably does recognize you, but I'd expect it's a positive recognition (assuming you aren't a jerk, which I am very willing to assume, and that your regular isn't something really annoying to make.) A regular is someone whose order is known and thus slightly easier to make--takes less mental processing to make the meal.

I will admit, though, it's possible (if unlikely) they were laughing at you, especially if it's teenagers to college-age kids. Sometimes folk like making a small, mean joke about someone--BUT even if that happened, they probably don't really mean anything about you (as a person) but rather as an abstract customer (yet another cog in the system). Dehumanizing jokes like that stink, but it's best to just try not to take it personally.
But remember, more likely than not, the joke was unrelated to you.

Now, if this continues as you continue to frequent this eatery... well, that seems a reason to feel affronted.

[Keltest]

Speaking as somebody in the service industry, unless you and/or your order regularly inconvenience the staff in some way, its unlikely theyre judging you at all, and even more unlikely that theyre doing so negatively. We get a lot of customers where I work, and while I recognize a lot of faces and can, to a point, even anticipate some of their orders and behaviors, the only people who I could really describe to anybody else would be the people who regularly annoy us. Certainly those are the only people that my co-workers would also be likely enough to recognize to crack a joke about.

[BWR]

Speaking as somebody in the service industry, unless you and/or your order regularly inconvenience the staff in some way, its unlikely theyre judging you at all, and even more unlikely that theyre doing so negatively. We get a lot of customers where I work, and while I recognize a lot of faces and can, to a point, even anticipate some of their orders and behaviors, the only people who I could really describe to anybody else would be the people who regularly annoy us. Certainly those are the only people that my co-workers would also be likely enough to recognize to crack a joke about.

Seconding this. You remember the customers who are exceedingly nice, the ones that show up a lot (several times a week, usually), and the really unpleasant ones. 99+% of people do not fall into this category, and the OP in all probability does not qualify unless s/he is as whiny and complains as much IRL as s/he does here. At worst any recognition is likely to be a neutral "Oh, that person. S/he'll want X, IIRC"

The customers you remember in a bad light usually have to do something special to earn this distinction. The one we called Stinky, for instance. I could literally follow his trail through the store with my nose. I regret testing this hypothesis.

[Kyberwulf]

Not to seem all personal and whatnot. But I get the image of the OP being one of those guys who comes in sullen looking with a chip on the shoulders. No smiles, or akward jokes. I can imagine one of the waiters saying "oh look creepy guy is back."

I say this not as a personal attack or whatever. I am just curious about what people are like who post. When I read some posts, I get this image of what a person looks like, acts like, and just generally carries themselves. I often wonder how they see themselves, and how that differentiates from how I would see them.


I am wondering what kind of food is ordered. IT is never mentioned. The question is asked, Do waiters Judge what kinds of food you order? Yet no mention of food is really given. Is it meant, do they judge the food? Do they judge you for ordering that food? Are they surprised by what you order, versus what kind of food is ordered. Like, if a young woman comes in and orders a mushroom and swiss burger. I would be pretty surprised. Because in my experience that is something that isn't normally ordered by young women. Or if an obese person walks in and orders a copious amount of food. I judge them, both for making me work more, and also why do you need to eat so much?

[Amazon]

Not to seem all personal and whatnot. But I get the image of the OP being one of those guys who comes in sullen looking with a chip on the shoulders. No smiles, or akward jokes. I can imagine one of the waiters saying "oh look creepy guy is back."

I say this not as a personal attack or whatever. I am just curious about what people are like who post. When I read some posts, I get this image of what a person looks like, acts like, and just generally carries themselves. I often wonder how they see themselves, and how that differentiates from how I would see them.


I am wondering what kind of food is ordered. IT is never mentioned. The question is asked, Do waiters Judge what kinds of food you order? Yet no mention of food is really given. Is it meant, do they judge the food? Do they judge you for ordering that food? Are they surprised by what you order, versus what kind of food is ordered. Like, if a young woman comes in and orders a mushroom and swiss burger. I would be pretty surprised. Because in my experience that is something that isn't normally ordered by young women. Or if an obese person walks in and orders a copious amount of food. I judge them, both for making me work more, and also why do you need to eat so much?

I think the OP is more concerned with the fact s/he orders the same dish everyday than what he actually order.

A better question would be: "Do waiters judge you if you order the same food every day?"

[Rynjin]

Maybe they're laughing at you because you look funny and aren't fit, according to the other thread. In fact, everyone is laughing at you. Everywhere you go, see all those smiling faces, laughing voices? They're all talking about you and making fun of you. You're the talk of the town, everywhere. They've all heard of you, and they all find you funny. To laugh at, not with.

That seems the most likely scenario. Or least. I sometimes get those mixed up.

[Amazon]

Maybe they're laughing at you because you look funny and aren't fit, according to the other thread. In fact, everyone is laughing at you. Everywhere you go, see all those smiling faces, laughing voices? They're all talking about you and making fun of you. You're the talk of the town, everywhere. They've all heard of you, and they all find you funny. To laugh at, not with.

That seems the most likely scenario. Or least. I sometimes get those mixed up.

That's kind of rude and uncalled for. Are you projecting your own insecurities on the Op? Tell me more.

[warty goblin]

I don't order fancy steaks, just a flat iron steak or whatever they might have that isn't terribly expensive. And no, they are judging me, I've been asked on many occasions "Are you sure you want it well-done" with a "Eww" look on their face.


The reason waitstaff ask is generally because a lot of people actually don't know what they want, and they're trying to head off the customer having a bad experience and making more work for everybody.

And do restaurant workers judge customers? Oh hell yes, what else is the kitchen staff gonna talk about all evening*? The only truly objectionable customers though are the ones who are either insufferably rude, or treat the menu like a goddamn ingredient list. No, there is not a special on where you can get $20 worth of food for $10, no we won't be happy to make three substitutions and two omissions, and if you wanted the vegetarian entree at the catered wedding you should have put that down on the meal card three months ago, instead of suddenly seeing the error of your meat-eating ways when your actual vegetarian friend's pasta looked good.

Ahem, not that I wished any of those people ill or anything.

*Probably corpse porn, actually. And unfortunately no, I am in no way joking.

[Aedilred]

And do restaurant workers judge customers? Oh hell yes, what else is the kitchen staff gonna talk about all evening*? The only truly objectionable customers though are the ones who are either insufferably rude, or treat the menu like a goddamn ingredient list. No, there is not a special on where you can get $20 worth of food for $10, no we won't be happy to make three substitutions and two omissions, and if you wanted the vegetarian entree at the catered wedding you should have put that down on the meal card three months ago, instead of suddenly seeing the error of your meat-eating ways when your actual vegetarian friend's pasta looked good.
Where do you get off, having opinions? You ought to be kowtowing to the paying customer, thanking them for their patronage, and respecting their superior knowledge of food and the menu at your restaurant, like the wage-slave you are!

I try to avoid substitutions/alterations of the dishes, but at breakfasts it's inevitable, because I always want to switch out my egg. Really I'd be happy to just have the egg taken off and pay the same but it seems silly not to ask if I can have something extra instead. I feel guilty every time though.

[warty goblin]

Where do you get off, having opinions? You ought to be kowtowing to the paying customer, thanking them for their patronage, and respecting their superior knowledge of food and the menu at your restaurant, like the wage-slave you are!

I try to avoid substitutions/alterations of the dishes, but at breakfasts it's inevitable, because I always want to switch out my egg. Really I'd be happy to just have the egg taken off and pay the same but it seems silly not to ask if I can have something extra instead. I feel guilty every time though.

That's not a bad sub at all, if you're asking for scrambled instead of fried or something like that. Eggs are getting scrambled anyway, so it's just a slightly weird ticket. It's the people who like to get creative that are bad, or who think they're just the biggest thing ever. Like the people who showed up once a week and insisted we stock an entirely different (and terrible) sort of French fry just for them.

[valadil]

I've never been a waiter. I was a cashier at a convenient store for the better part of a summer though.

Yes, I definitely judged the regulars. Yes, I definitely gossiped with the other staff about the regulars too. Why? That kind of work is boring. There's nothing else to do but count how much that one guy spent on scratch tickets each day. I'd be shocked if the staff didn't judge customers. I wouldn't lose sleep over their opinions either.

[Peelee]

No, no it is not worthy of judgement. I really dislike people who get on others cases who don't like their steaks with pink/red in it. I personally will literally gag if I see even a hint of pink in my steak, so it is always well-done. On the other hand, my wife just prefers well-done, and has tried medium-rare and found it to be not to her tastes. Judging people by how they like their food cooked is one of the most rude and idiotic things a person can do, besides of course judging them based on gender/race/sexuality/religion.

As you can tell, I am very opinionated on this subject, I get so sick and tired of chefs/waiters looking at me like I just grew a second or even a third damn head when I ask for my steak to be well-done. You have no right to do so, just do your freaking job and get me my food.

Well, some places will use their oldest steaks for well-done orders, since by cooking it that much, it's easier to hide that it may be going off. That may account for some of the looks.

Now, I always get my steak rare, but I don't judge how other people want it cooked. I'm not eating what you're ordering, what do I care how you like it?

[Lycan 01]

Professional waiter here! :smallsmile:

(Okay, technically I'm a "Carhop" but it's still a waiter by most standards, albeit with extra abilities/responsibilities.)

Allow me to go down the list?

First things first - no, I don't judge my customers for their eating habits. Me and my coworkers all realize we have our culinary quirks. If a customer orders something "odd" we may go through the motions of saying "ew I couldn't eat that" but we won't make fun of the customer themselves. That's rude. There's a difference in finding a meal unappetizing, and finding a customer disgusting.

In fact, if a customer asks me for something odd, I may make a light-hearted joke along the lines of "That's not the weirdest thing I've heard today" or "Okay you've caught me off guard, bravo." Because the customer usually acknowledges that the order is odd, and I don't want them to feel odd or bothersome. In fact, I encourage customers to ask for odd things - an extra ingredient on their burger, some odd sauces on the side, specific instructions, etc. If you're going to be paying us for service, you deserve to get the food you want, how you want it. (Within reason.)

It goes beyond me, too. Our whole crew, management included, encourages customers to ask for what they want. Even if we have to spend a minute or so trying to find the buttons on the computer to ring it up properly. :smallwink:

My second day on the job, I heard the owner taking a customer's order, and she asked if she could add graham cracker to her milkshake. He responded, and I quote: "Ma'am, this is [establishment]. We can put graham cracker on anything you want. :smallcool:"

Now, as for your more specific inquiries...


People always told me they don't since they don't even remember your face; you are just one out of many, if you got to a waiter and say “I’ll have the usual” they will mostly likely say “Who the hell are you? Never saw your face before!”.

I pay attention to my customers, to the best of my abilities. I mean I see 100+ people a day, but if they have distinguishing features - makeup, hairstyles, facial hair, tattoos, mannerisms, etc - it's easier to remember them, and I especially remember customers who play along with my lame jokes or banter with me. Alternatively, if they're a jerk or leave me emotionally traumatized, yeaaaaah gonna be pretty easy to remember them. :smalltongue:

So, no, the idea of "waiters won't remember you" isn't entirely true, depending on your interaction with the waiter.


But, every Thursday I always stop by the same restaurant, right before it opens for lunch, I ask the same meal and usually for the same waiter.

Every restaurant has its regulars. Me and my coworkers not only have our regular customers who order the same thing every day or visit, but we respect the fact that those customers and workers have a relationship. If my coworker has a "regular" they tend to every time that customer comes by, I'll let them go tend to that customer rather than try to tend to them myself. And likewise, I have regular customers that other workers will let me tend to out of courtesy.

So yeah, if you're getting the same waiter every time without asking for them, they're probably doing the reverse, and picking you. :smallsmile:


Today, I went to it and I could see the waiter looked at me, and he whispered something to his friends, after I asked my usual order... They started laughing. What the hell? Did he beat I was going to order the same thing I order every day?

Isn't that kind of rude? Why do I end up in these awkward and embarrassing situations?

Now this is the tricky part. How do you usually interact with the waiter? Do y'all banter, exchange pleasantries, or otherwise get along? Do you tip them? Do they act courteous to you?

Because if y'all get along, then my guess would be that he probably just made a joke about being psychic and knowing what you're gonna order before you say it - a playful quip about the order itself, not you. Waitstaff do this all the time - we're joking about the order or our own expectations, not the customer themselves, because that's rude. Aaaaand risks getting you in trouble with management at a lot of establishments, because nobody wants to have a waiter/waitress who mocks the paying customers and damages the image of the establishment. :smalleek:

So yeah. Given the context you've given, I don't think they were making fun of you. The waiter was probably just goofing around with his coworkers about already knowing your order, not mocking you yourself. But if there's more to the story, by all means share, and I'll tell you whatever else I can.


Where do you get off, having opinions? You ought to be kowtowing to the paying customer, thanking them for their patronage, and respecting their superior knowledge of food and the menu at your restaurant, like the wage-slave you are!

I try to avoid substitutions/alterations of the dishes, but at breakfasts it's inevitable, because I always want to switch out my egg. Really I'd be happy to just have the egg taken off and pay the same but it seems silly not to ask if I can have something extra instead. I feel guilty every time though.

Actually, you're not a bother at all if you're asking to leave off an item or substitute it. Most places are computerized now with order taking, so there's usually an "add," "remove," or "substitute" button that can be pressed. I actually have customers, some of whom are "regulars" as I just described, who ask for their breakfast items without eggs or with their eggs done a certain way. I just have to hit 1-3 buttons, and they're set up. No trouble at all.

So yeah, unless the staff are just rude, you shouldn't have any trouble with asking for your eggs done a certain way, or not having egg on the item in general. Heck, you're saving the cook the trouble of having to cook an egg nobody is gonna eat. :smalltongue:

[2D8HP]

There's been a few posts where folks have mentioned that most customers just aren't remembered.

I've been the opposite.

A few times when I've been the customer, I haven't recognized the waitress as someone from my social circle, until she said my name, and again, when she was the cashier at a bookstore. The same thing happened at another bookstore, and it was my ex-girlfriend!

[tomandtish]

Well, some places will use their oldest steaks for well-done orders, since by cooking it that much, it's easier to hide that it may be going off. That may account for some of the looks.

Now, I always get my steak rare, but I don't judge how other people want it cooked. I'm not eating what you're ordering, what do I care how you like it?

Having worked in the kitchen of a few places (admittedly a long time ago), I can confirm that cooks LOVE people who knowingly order well-done steaks for precisely this reason.

OTOH, we always hated people who ordered them, complained that the steak didn't live up to the hype that other people had given theirs, and would send it back. Given that one of the places was a Ruth Chris steakhouse, we actually had a little blurb in the menu that the optimal prep for our steaks was medium rare.

[Faily]

I work in the service industry and know several people who do too.

Yes, some people are remembered, but the majority of customers throughout the day are not. It's either people with very memorable looks (like fancy and very visible tattoos, unusual hair or makeup), or those who are either super-nice and/or polite or left a very negative impression. I've learned that those who leave a negative impression is remembered more easily than those who leave a positive one, sadly... but those who leave a very positive impression just brightens your otherwise tiresome workday. Regulars after a certain amount of time will be remembered, especially if your regular visits coincides with the staff's workshifts, so even if you're just there once a week, it could be that this particular staff might actually just work a couple of days a week (because of studies, or this is just some extra part-time work?).


Did they talk/laugh about you? Yes, no, maybe? Sounds like from your description that they were having a conversation as you entered, and then they finished it off (on a humorous note), then got back to work. Will they ever talk about you? Yes, probably. Just like how other workers in other places will talk about parts of their workday, so do service staff talk about theirs... which does include customers.

[Scarlet Knight]

It's been years since I've waited tables, but I remember some things.

Wait staff are human and judge customers just as patrons judge us.

Better waiters don't show their judgements. Lesser ones will. This may be adjusted to the formality of the restaurant. Diners have seperate rules.

A good waiter will/should judge an order for the good of the patron: "Let me make sure I have that correct, sir. You wanted the flounder with BBQ sauce on the side?"

How helpful or rude the question often depends just on the voice inflection and that is not always easy to teach or keep under control. We can't all be Alfred Pennyworth.

[BWR]

We can't all be Alfred Pennyworth.

Alfred can toss sarcasm (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dStZa3xIEDo)about with the best (Jeeves). They are both outdone by Edmund Blackadder Esq. in this arena, however.
(I totally want an ERB with those three battling about who's the best butler and who has the silliest master)

[Aedilred]

Alfred can toss sarcasm (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dStZa3xIEDo)about with the best (Jeeves). They are both outdone by Edmund Blackadder Esq. in this arena, however.
(I totally want an ERB with those three battling about who's the best butler and who has the silliest master)

Blackadder has the advantage that his master is a complete moron, so he can insult him pretty much openly and the Prince won't pick up on it.


Prince: This fellow last night said I had the wit and sophistication of a donkey!
EB: An absurd suggestion, sir, unless of course it was a particularly stupid donkey.
Prince: You see, if only I'd thought to say that!

Wooster is more mentally lazy than stupid, so he's usually able to tell when Jeeves is needling him, and Jeeves only really gets away with being properly sarcastic when Bertie isn't paying attention, usually when effectively monologuing and not expecting anything more from Jeeves than acknowledgement. In fact he tends to have a pretty good idea of Jeeves's opinions and tends not to challenge them because it's easier (again: lazy), unless it's really important (like plus-eights or alpine hats) or feels like winding Jeeves up to make a point (moustaches, on occasion). I noticed it's also rather more of a feature of the show than the books (not that the show itself isn't great).

[Aliquid]

Isn't that kind of rude? Why do I end up in these awkward and embarrassing situations?
I'm not sure how to help you here buddy... but I'm thinking you need to find a way to change your perspective of the world around you. If you perceive yourself in a certain way, you will create a "self fulfilling prophecy"

I actually have an anecdote that is kind-of related:
Years ago, I went out for lunch with a co-worker/friend who was physically disabled, and he was struggling with low self-esteem. He kept thinking that people looked down on him because of his disability. Anyway, during lunch, the waiter gave us crappy and rude service. My friend's immediate response was "We got bad service because of the way I look". My immediate response was "We god bad service because that guy is a jerk". I then watched the waiter serve other people and confirmed that he was an ass to everyone. After that I often challenged my friend's comments of "everyone looks down on me", with a response of "Is that really what's happening, or are you making assumptions"

Change your mindset from "what's wrong with me", to "what's wrong with them", and your self esteem might just improve. Someone might snap at you in a rude way because they are sleep deprived. Someone might be all cranky because they are having trouble dealing with a failing marriage at home. Maybe the waiters are laughing about something that isn't about you at all. You never know the other person's story...

[tyckspoon]

Actually, you're not a bother at all if you're asking to leave off an item or substitute it. Most places are computerized now with order taking, so there's usually an "add," "remove," or "substitute" button that can be pressed. I actually have customers, some of whom are "regulars" as I just described, who ask for their breakfast items without eggs or with their eggs done a certain way. I just have to hit 1-3 buttons, and they're set up. No trouble at all.

So yeah, unless the staff are just rude, you shouldn't have any trouble with asking for your eggs done a certain way, or not having egg on the item in general. Heck, you're saving the cook the trouble of having to cook an egg nobody is gonna eat. :smalltongue:

Might be a little bother for the kitchen, inasmuch as it means they have to actually read the order ticket and not just stop at 'oh, that's a two-egg pancake breakfast' and make it the standard way. But as far as that goes, if your computerized order input system has a means of entering changes like that, I feel the kitchen is obligated to check each ticket for changes. Which they probably should be doing anyways, because most of the tickets I've seen generated by that kind of system use the same notes for 'No Egg, extra hashbrown' as they would for the more 'normal' customizations like 'Scrambled eggs with cheese, sausage patty' instead of 'Fried egg, over easy, bacon.'

[BWR]

Blackadder has the advantage that his master is a complete moron, so he can insult him pretty much openly and the Prince won't pick up on it.



Wooster is more mentally lazy than stupid, so he's usually able to tell when Jeeves is needling him, and Jeeves only really gets away with being properly sarcastic when Bertie isn't paying attention, usually when effectively monologuing and not expecting anything more from Jeeves than acknowledgement. In fact he tends to have a pretty good idea of Jeeves's opinions and tends not to challenge them because it's easier (again: lazy), unless it's really important (like plus-eights or alpine hats) or feels like winding Jeeves up to make a point (moustaches, on occasion). I noticed it's also rather more of a feature of the show than the books (not that the show itself isn't great).

You and I (and I'm sure many others) know this, but an ERB with those would still be fun to watch.

[Solaris]

Today, I went to it and I could see the waiter looked at me, and he whispered something to his friends, after I asked my usual order... They started laughing. What the hell? Did he beat I was going to order the same thing I order every day?

Probably. What does it matter? Even good friends have cracked jokes at my expense before.


Isn't that kind of rude? Why do I end up in these awkward and embarrassing situations?

I'm going to venture the guess that it's a combination of the spotlight effect (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_effect) and paranoid anxiety.


Well, what do you order?

Because some things are worthy of judgment. Like anyone who orders a steak cooked more than medium rare who is not a child.

Objective fact.

I will say this, though: If I do a multi-day whiskey marinade for my steak, I gotta cook that dang thing all the way through. If not, we're not driving after dinner and my wife is probably gonna get blitzed off of the alcohol in the meat. I still aim for medium to medium-rare, though, by using a low heat to cook off the alcohol but not hot enough to cook the meat.


Well, some places will use their oldest steaks for well-done orders, since by cooking it that much, it's easier to hide that it may be going off. That may account for some of the looks.

I do that with my own beef. It's the only time I'll cook it beyond Pittsburgh or rare, really.
It's still a culinary crime. Not the aging (if it's not smelling kinda funny, I'll still leave it bloody), the overcooking it. The good news is, old meat is a bit more tender so the overcooking it until it's gray leaves it still edible.

[Shamash]

People always told me they don't since they don't even remember your face; you are just one out of many, if you got to a waiter and say “I’ll have the usual” they will mostly likely say “Who the hell are you? Never saw your face before!”.

But, every Thursday I always stop by the same restaurant, right before it opens for lunch, I ask the same meal and usually for the same waiter.

Today, I went to it and I could see the waiter looked at me, and he whispered something to his friends, after I asked my usual order... They started laughing. What the hell? Did he beat I was going to order the same thing I order every day?

Isn't that kind of rude? Why do I end up in these awkward and embarrassing situations?

Incidentally, I was randomly browsing the web and I saw this video (https://youtu.be/MqFBlaMQKmw?t=5m39s) yesterday, oddly relevant.

I don't think that was rude, maybe he was just joking around with his friends, I bet he never wanted to embarrass.

[bankata]

The funny thing about this is. you claim to go to the same place, order from the same person.

[MMiller95]

People judge others constantly. The problem is they forget about it pretty quickly, so it does not really matter in the long run.

[The Eye]

The funny thing about this is. you claim to go to the same place, order from the same person.

Why is that funny?

[Aliquid]

Why is that funny?Clearly bankata has a very strange sense of humor.

[Honest Tiefling]

Eh. I have to eat gluten-free for medical reasons and have many intolerances/allergies, and I'm willing to bet that people are going to judge me for following a trendy diet with no basis in medical science and/or claiming fake allergies but whatever. If the waiter is going to do something to my face I'll complain to the manager. If the waiter can keep it to themselves, great, I just want my food. I don't pay you for your opinion, I pay a tip to get a fake smile and food brought to my lazy butt.

I'm honestly less worried about the judging and more curious how stringently allergy protocols are followed, since I've had bad reactions to a restaurant that claimed to be gluten-free but probably isn't.

[Peelee]

I don't pay you for your opinion, I pay a tip to get a fake smile and food brought to my lazy butt.

I pay a tip because society expects me to. As long as we have the system, I'll tip and tip well, but I hate it; restaurants should pay their workers just like everyone else. Never understood the point of tipping.

[Honest Tiefling]

I pay a tip because society expects me to. As long as we have the system, I'll tip and tip well, but I hate it; restaurants should pay their workers just like everyone else. Never understood the point of tipping.

Oh I agree there. The idea of tipping is that it encourages good service, but I don't think it works that way. Especially since bad servers will just blame the customer if they get bad tips, and some people really are that rude to not tip regardless of service. And honestly, some of the best service I have ever gotten was in Japan where there is no tipping culture.

But I am not going to stiff someone doing their job when I know they can't survive on that wage. I will if you mess up a lot (and I don't mean getting an order wrong, that just plain happens. I mean so bad that I have to go up and FIND YOU to get a refill on water when it is hot.)

[The Eye]

I only tip if the service was really good. Which is more often than it may seem.

[Honest Tiefling]

I only tip if the service was really good. Which is more often than it may seem.

This might explain why you don't get good service, since most waiters sorta need tips to yanno...Eat. Unless you aren't American, which is a completely different issue.

[The Eye]

This might explain why you don't get good service, since most waiters sorta need tips to yanno...Eat. Unless you aren't American, which is a completely different issue.

I'm not American.

EDIT: Wait, in the USA waiters don't get paid?

[Honest Tiefling]

EDIT: Wiat, in the USA waiters don't get paid?

They do, but it is EXTREMELY below minimum wage, and varies from area to area. The idea is that a good waiter will make it up in tips. There are reasons it is often considered rude to not tip waiters if they didn't mess anything up. Those reasons are the fact that waiters do in fact need to pay rent and such.

[lunaticfringe]

Tipped Minimum Wage (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tipped_wage_in_the_United_States)

[Aedilred]

I'm not American.

EDIT: Wait, in the USA waiters don't get paid?

From what I understand, it is relatively common for waiters to earn a net wage of around $0 from a shift in the US. They do get a wage, but it's entirely wiped out by tax, and other deductions. Their take-home income thus comes entirely from tips.

That this is the case across much of the service industry goes some way to explain why tipping is more prevalent and at a higher rate than is the norm in, say, Europe. It's not a bonus, it's the only money they get.

Yeah, it's pretty bogus.

[DataNinja]

From what I understand, it is relatively common for waiters to earn a net wage of around $0 from a shift in the US. They do get a wage, but it's entirely wiped out by tax, and other deductions. Their take-home income thus comes entirely from tips.

That this is the case across much of the service industry goes some way to explain why tipping is more prevalent and at a higher rate than is the norm in, say, Europe. It's not a bonus, it's the only money they get.

Yeah, it's pretty bogus.

Anecdotally, when I was visiting Atlanta, Georgia, I went to a restaurant there. We were being served by a waitress in training, and, I'll cut out how we got on to the topic in the first place, but, long story short, while in training there, they were getting paid a near-living wage (or, at least, that's what it sounded like, I don't actually know the cost of living there). The thing is, her trainer, was only getting paid something like... two dollars an hour? It was ridiculous, that the people in training should get something like four times as much as someone in a full position.

[Honest Tiefling]

From what I understand, it is relatively common for waiters to earn a net wage of around $0 from a shift in the US.

I believe that tips are non-taxable income, but some restaurants force wait staff to share tips with other staff, which is another practice I'm not terribly fond of.

[Aedilred]

I believe that tips are non-taxable income, but some restaurants force wait staff to share tips with other staff, which is another practice I'm not terribly fond of.

There was a bit of a scandal here a couple of years ago when it transpired some restaurants (specifically, one restaurant group, although I think others were also doing it) were adding a service charge to the bill in lieu of tips - in itself not unusual - but not distributing that money to the staff. That that's the case has been a long-held suspicioin generally when it comes to service charges, so some patrons (especially of an older generation) would sometimes confirm with their waiter that they would actually get the money in question if it was added to the bill rather than left in cash on the table. In this instance, the management were also instructing staff to lie when patrons asked, and tell them they were receiving the money even though they weren't.

[Peelee]

Well, last I heard, servers got $2.13/hr, but if a server doesn't get the federal minimum wage even after tips, then the restaurant must make up the rest. So they always make the minimum wage, at least (my feelings on the minimum wage is a story for another day, likely another forum altogether). Still, not tipping makes you look like an ass. I've tipped only a few cents before, when I got the worst service I've ever had in my life; I feel like that said, "I do tip, just not you."

And lunatic fringe linked to the financial issues already. That'll learn me to read links before replying.

[Keltest]

Well, last I heard, servers got $2.13/hr, but if a server doesn't get the federal minimum wage even after tips, then the restaurant must make up the rest. So they always make the minimum wage, at least (my feelings on the minimum wage is a story for another day, likely another forum altogether). Still, not tipping makes you look like an ass. I've tipped only a few cents before, when I got the worst service I've ever had in my life; I feel like that said, "I do tip, just not you."

And lunatic fringe linked to the financial issues already. That'll learn me to read links before replying.

Depending on the state, you could also make minimum wage before tips. California does this, I think.

[Peelee]

Depending on the state, you could also make minimum wage before tips. California does this, I think.

Alabama does not. Color me surprised.

[Kyberwulf]

Actually, tips are taxable. I think if you make more then 10,000 a year in cash, you have to report it to the IRS.

[Aliquid]

Tipped Minimum Wage (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tipped_wage_in_the_United_States)So.... from what I understand, tipping expectations are the same across the USA. In numerous states a server will get $2.13 an hour plus tips, yet in Washington and California they get $10.00 to $11.00 per hour plus tip.

That difference is MASSIVE. Is there a big difference in the cost of living as well? Is it cheaper to pay for food and rent in Tennessee? Or are servers just royally screwed there?

[Keltest]

So.... from what I understand, tipping expectations are the same across the USA. In numerous states a server will get $2.13 an hour plus tips, yet in Washington and California they get $10.00 to $11.00 per hour plus tip.

That difference is MASSIVE. Is there a big difference in the cost of living as well? Is it cheaper to pay for food and rent in Tennessee? Or are servers just royally screwed there?

I'll just say that the answer is partly political and leave it at that.

[Razade]

So.... from what I understand, tipping expectations are the same across the USA. In numerous states a server will get $2.13 an hour plus tips, yet in Washington and California they get $10.00 to $11.00 per hour plus tip.

That difference is MASSIVE. Is there a big difference in the cost of living as well? Is it cheaper to pay for food and rent in Tennessee? Or are servers just royally screwed there?

Minimum wage in AZ is 10 bucks as well. Servers who make tips generally make 7 bucks. That seems fairly standard from what I've seen/worked.

To the other question....partly yes. Cost of living in places like Seattle and LA are way way higher than anywhere in Tenn. The other part is, as noted, political thus verboten.

[Solaris]

From what I understand, it is relatively common for waiters to earn a net wage of around $0 from a shift in the US. They do get a wage, but it's entirely wiped out by tax, and other deductions. Their take-home income thus comes entirely from tips.

I don't think you understand correctly, being as taxes and other similar deductions are a percentage of the paycheck. If the wage part of the paycheck is wiped out by taxes, it's because they made a sufficient amount in tips to do so.

I'm also quite certain that if the waiter doesn't make up the difference in income by tips, the restaurant is obligated to pay them at least minimum wage. That's how the law works. That's why I'm not moved by pleas to tip out of consideration for the waiter's financial straits; they're still guaranteed minimum wage even if nobody tips them. Bad service does not deserve a tip, period. Good service does.


I believe that tips are non-taxable income, but some restaurants force wait staff to share tips with other staff, which is another practice I'm not terribly fond of.

Eh. Waiters aren't the only ones who make the restaurant work. So far as worker exploitation goes, that's a pretty mild offense.


So.... from what I understand, tipping expectations are the same across the USA. In numerous states a server will get $2.13 an hour plus tips, yet in Washington and California they get $10.00 to $11.00 per hour plus tip.

That difference is MASSIVE. Is there a big difference in the cost of living as well? Is it cheaper to pay for food and rent in Tennessee? Or are servers just royally screwed there?


The American federal government requires a wage of at least $2.13 per hour be paid to employees that receive at least $30 per month in tips. If wages and tips do not equal the federal minimum wage of $7.25 per hour during any week, the employer is required to increase cash wages to compensate.

But other than that, yeah. America has huge differences in the cost of living. When I moved from outside a military post in central Texas up to southeast Michigan, the cost of living just about doubled - and I'm not even living in a pricey neighborhood or an expensive city. That's why it's hard to assume what's good for one place is good for another - the local economies are all rather different.

[Starwulf]

I don't think you understand correctly, being as taxes and other similar deductions are a percentage of the paycheck. If the wage part of the paycheck is wiped out by taxes, it's because they made a sufficient amount in tips to do so.

I'm also quite certain that if the waiter doesn't make up the difference in income by tips, the restaurant is obligated to pay them at least minimum wage. That's how the law works. That's why I'm not moved by pleas to tip out of consideration for the waiter's financial straits; they're still guaranteed minimum wage even if nobody tips them. Bad service does not deserve a tip, period. Good service does.


It may be the law, but it doesn't mean it's followed. My wife was a waitress for quite a few years, and there were plenty of weeks, and even months where her take home was significantly below minimum wage, and she never got a bump up from the restaurant to put her at the actual minimum wage. And before you say "You should have done something", we tried. We contacted the BBB about them, and the MD senator, and even our local county rep, and none of them did a damn thing about it. The best we got was a "We'll look into it", and that was it.

[AMFV]

It may be the law, but it doesn't mean it's followed. My wife was a waitress for quite a few years, and there were plenty of weeks, and even months where her take home was significantly below minimum wage, and she never got a bump up from the restaurant to put her at the actual minimum wage. And before you say "You should have done something", we tried. We contacted the BBB about them, and the MD senator, and even our local county rep, and none of them did a damn thing about it. The best we got was a "We'll look into it", and that was it.

That's because you were contacting completely the wrong folks. A senator or legislator isn't responsible for enforcement. The BBB cares about how they treat their customers not how they treat their employees. Your county Rep also is responsible for writing laws, no enforcing them. If this ever comes up again the correct body to report minimum wage violations to is the Department of Labor. They have an entire division dedicated to examining minimum wage claims.

For what it's worth I think not making up the amount not tipped is probably the most common wage violation, or I would imagine so. It'd be very easy to forget, difficult to enforce unless the server in-question kept immaculate paperwork. Of course all it would take is a few people with that paperwork to fix a particular institution.

[Peelee]

It may be the law, but it doesn't mean it's followed. My wife was a waitress for quite a few years, and there were plenty of weeks, and even months where her take home was significantly below minimum wage, and she never got a bump up from the restaurant to put her at the actual minimum wage. And before you say "You should have done something", we tried. We contacted the BBB about them, and the MD senator, and even our local county rep, and none of them did a damn thing about it. The best we got was a "We'll look into it", and that was it.

The BBB is an older version of Yelp, and your senator and county rep may care, but may not. The Department of Labor is much, much better at dealing with things like this, since they're the ones that actually enforce labor laws.

[Seerow]

No they won't. Not if you're a regular customer and they know you by face. They'll go "is that the X"? to make sure they got it right or if you really go there every day and it's always the same waiter they'll just say ok. Hell, I've had a few places that I went to at the same time, every day, the same waiter who had the meal WAITING for me.

IMO this is the best. I haven't had that experience in years, but there was a time when my friend and I would go to Sonny's 2-3 times a week after work. It got to the point where we'd walk in, our order would already be put in and Sweet Teas sitting at the table.

[Knaight]

Well, last I heard, servers got $2.13/hr, but if a server doesn't get the federal minimum wage even after tips, then the restaurant must make up the rest. So they always make the minimum wage, at least (my feelings on the minimum wage is a story for another day, likely another forum altogether). Still, not tipping makes you look like an ass. I've tipped only a few cents before, when I got the worst service I've ever had in my life; I feel like that said, "I do tip, just not you."

Technically the restaurant is legally obligated to make up the rest. In practice, in right to work states (where you can be fired without reason, the name is somewhat inaccurate) actually asking the restaurant to make up the rest gets you fired and replaced with someone who doesn't do that. I make a point of eating out rarely and tipping high when I do, but as far as I'm concerned customers tipping is a patch applied to a fundamentally broken system.

[AMFV]

Technically the restaurant is legally obligated to make up the rest. In practice, in right to work states (where you can be fired without reason, the name is somewhat inaccurate) actually asking the restaurant to make up the rest gets you fired and replaced with someone who doesn't do that. I make a point of eating out rarely and tipping high when I do, but as far as I'm concerned customers tipping is a patch applied to a fundamentally broken system.

You're actually confusing "Right to Work" with "At-Will Employment". At-Will Employment means that the relationship between employer and employee can be terminated for any reason without recourse against either party (barring termination for violation of civil liberties). "Right-to-work" is a set of laws that allow somebody to be in a union shop and benefit from union work negotiations without paying union dues. Basically it winds up eventually bankrupting the union because they can't afford to continue to negotiate when they're getting dues from fewer and fewer employees (and their negotiating power is substantially less, since they represent a smaller fraction of the employees at a given shop).

Edit: It's also worth noting that you'd get far more mileage complaining to the Department of Labor since they would fine and force the restaurant to make up the difference, and you'd b protected as a whistleblower (not that they probably wouldn't fire you for other reasons after that).

[Xyril]

That's because you were contacting completely the wrong folks. A senator or legislator isn't responsible for enforcement. The BBB cares about how they treat their customers not how they treat their employees. Your county Rep also is responsible for writing laws, no enforcing them. If this ever comes up again the correct body to report minimum wage violations to is the Department of Labor. They have an entire division dedicated to examining minimum wage claims.

For what it's worth I think not making up the amount not tipped is probably the most common wage violation, or I would imagine so. It'd be very easy to forget, difficult to enforce unless the server in-question kept immaculate paperwork. Of course all it would take is a few people with that paperwork to fix a particular institution.

Another possibility is calling an employment attorney. In many (maybe most) jurisdictions, employment law includes a private right of action (meaning you can sue in civil court without having to rely on a government prosecutor to pursue the case) and a fee-shifting provision (meaning that if you win, your attorney can collect reasonable fees on top of the actual amount in controversy.)

[AMFV]

Another possibility is calling an employment attorney. In many (maybe most) jurisdictions, employment law includes a private right of action (meaning you can sue in civil court without having to rely on a government prosecutor to pursue the case) and a fee-shifting provision (meaning that if you win, your attorney can collect reasonable fees on top of the actual amount in controversy.)

That is an option, but you aren't likely to get much more than wages owed, unless they're going for something punitive and you are NOT protected as a whistleblower in that case, meaning that in at-will states you will almost certainly be terminated.

[Peelee]

Another possibility is calling an employment attorney. In many (maybe most) jurisdictions, employment law includes a private right of action (meaning you can sue in civil court without having to rely on a government prosecutor to pursue the case) and a fee-shifting provision (meaning that if you win, your attorney can collect reasonable fees on top of the actual amount in controversy.)

At-will employment stares are fun. You can only sue if you can prove they fired you for a protected reason, so employers just don't tell you why they fired you, and they're just peachy.

[The Eye]

So I went there yesterday, got served by the same waiter, he laughed after I did my order, I asked what was so funny and he said that no one normally asks for sfihas together with normal food and that they are more like snacks(The place is like a “Arabic restaurant” but not really), then he add that I could get a better deal, with more food for less money by ordering a combo, at that moment I could not help but think about Bartmanhomer and one of his infamous threads.

The combo was rice, a well done steak, salad, some sort of stuffed zucchini and fries, desert include. I normally ask for all that but no zucchini, less rice, more fries, 5 cheese sfihas and a pie that is not in the combo, so the reason I don't order the combo is that I won't be able to eat all the rice and the pie I want is not include, still he insisted for me to get the combo since it was more food for less money, he was trying to be nice so I laughed and I end up getting it and regretting it, since as I said, it was too much rice not enough fries and a desert I didn't want to eat (I'm also not a fan of zucchini).

After that he seemed to be pretty happy, he said it was weird since everyone normally asked for a combo, I asked him if that was what he and his friends were laughing about the other day, he said it was and apologized if it was rude, I laughed off said it was ok.

In the end I end up spending almost the same amount of money since I ordered the pie I wanted to go, I intruded myself to him, thanked for the attention and now I plan to go to another less judgmental restaurant next time. Since that combo was not for me. I think I'll try a fancy Italian restaurant next, I hope they will be less nosy.

[Knaight]

In the end I end up spending almost the same amount of money since I ordered the pie I wanted to go, I intruded myself to him, thanked for the attention and now I plan to go to another less judgmental restaurant next time. Since that combo was not for me. I think I try a fancy Italian restaurant next, I hope they will be less nosy.

The nerve of these people, forming opinions about you and having some interest in you after you showed up to their workplace repeatedly. Don't they know that you're above the contemplation of a mere waiter, and entitled to service without the peons that serve you doing horrible things like having opinions or talking to each other.

Obviously you can get food where you want, but these complaints come across as really petty.

[The Eye]

The nerve of these people, forming opinions about you and having some interest in you after you showed up to their workplace repeatedly. Don't they know that you're above the contemplation of a mere waiter, and entitled to service without the peons that serve you doing horrible things like having opinions or talking to each other.

Obviously you can get food where you want, but these complaints come across as really petty.

Do they? I'm sorry I just don't like interacting with people, I mean I know he was trying to be nice, and I bet he is, but this kind of service is not for me, it's really hard for me to go to a place and talk to people, now I will have to go to a place talk someone to get my food and then extra talk because I will have to explain the whole thing to him and that's something I just don't want to do since I eat out to relax and not get stressed. The conversation would be like.

Him: “Hey good to see you again, will you ask the combo this time again?”
Me: “Actually, I will just stick to my usual order.”
Him: “Why? Didn’t you like the combo?”
Me:” No it was fine, it’s just that I prefer my order”
Him: “Oh ok, well it will be less food for more money…”
Me: “I know but I don’t mind.”
Him: ”Oh ok, will you want a soda this time?”
Me: “No thanks.”
Him: “ Juice maybe? I can give this special discount if you ask for a natural juice.”
Me: “I know that you told me the other day but I don’t like to drink while I’m eating.”
Him: “Ok then, I will get you food.” Looks confused.

I just want to get my food with the minimum of interaction possible D: Is that too much to ask? I had to deal with a similar situation when I used to order food from the same place to be delivered at my house. These nice employs are wasted on me. I don't care if the food I order is the same every time and maybe I should try to add some variety in my life, thanks but it's MY life, I don't care if the food I ordered is not supposed to be eaten that way, that’s MY way to eat it, just leave me alone D:

[Peelee]

Do they? I'm sorry I just don't like interacting with people, I mean I know he was trying to be nice, and I bet he is, but this kind of service is not for me, it's really hard for me to go to a place and talk to people, now I will have to go to a place talk someone to get my food and then extra talk because I will have to explain the whole thing to him and that's something I just don't want to do since I eat out to relax and not get stressed. The conversation would be like.

Him: “Hey good to see you again, will you ask the combo this time again?”
Me: “Actually, I will just stick to my usual order.”
Him: “Why? Didn’t you like the combo?”
Me:” No it was fine, it’s just that I prefer my order”
Him: “Oh ok, well it will be less food for more money…”
Me: “I know but I don’t mind.”
Him: ”Oh ok, will you want a soda this time?”
Me: “No thanks.”
Him: “ Juice maybe? I can give this special discount if you ask for a natural juice.”
Me: “I know that you told me the other day but I don’t like to drink while I’m eating.”
Him: “Ok then, I will get you food.” Looks confused.

I just want to get my food with the minimum of interaction possible D: Is that too much to ask? I had to deal with a similar situation when I used to order food from the same place to be delivered at my house. These nice employs are wasted on me. I don't care if the food I order is the same every time and maybe I should try to add some variety in my life, thanks but it's MY life, I don't care if the food I ordered is not supposed to be eaten that way, that’s MY way to eat it, just leave me alone D:

You could just not interact? I'm pretty sure that conversation wouldn't happen, and it'd be more like:

Him: “Hey, how's it going?”
Me: “I'll have my usual.”
Him: “Alright, that'll be $X.”

If you don't initiate conversation yourself, there's not a lot of counter-workers who will. Imean, I don't care where you eat, but this just seems like a massive case of overthinking it.

Also, what Knaight said.

[The Eye]

You could just not interact? I'm pretty sure that conversation wouldn't happen, and it'd be more like:

Him: “Hey, how's it going?”
Me: “I'll have my usual.”
Him: “Alright, that'll be $X.”

If you don't initiate conversation yourself, there's not a lot of counter-workers who will. Imean, I don't care where you eat, but this just seems like a massive case of overthinking it.

It's not, I used to order food from a restaurant near my apartment, and the delivery guy was just as nice as this waiter, I tried not to engage in conversation but he kept talking... I guess I have this "Loser loner aura" and they pity me and try to be friendly... I dunno.

[Peelee]

It's not, I used to order food from a restaurant near my house, and the delivery guy was just as nice as this waiter, I tried not to engage in conversation but he kept talking... I guess I have this "Loser loner aura" and they pity me and try to be friendly... I dunno.

Huh. You should come to America. You'd love it.

[Delicious Taffy]

If you really wanted your usual, rather than the combo the guy was pushing, you should have defended yourself. I guess it's just too bad there weren't any rogue ladies around to do it for you, but that's life.

[Starwulf]

The nerve of these people, forming opinions about you and having some interest in you after you showed up to their workplace repeatedly. Don't they know that you're above the contemplation of a mere waiter, and entitled to service without the peons that serve you doing horrible things like having opinions or talking to each other.

Obviously you can get food where you want, but these complaints come across as really petty.

So first OP gets mocked for believing that the waiters were laughing at/about him, with everyone insisting they weren't. Then he goes back to restaurant, actually asks and finds out they were, and now he's being mocked for not wanting to have interactions with the waiters, especially after, from what it sounds like anyways, he had an undesirable food combination forced upon him, because even if you want to stand up for yourself in that situation, disagreeing is just going to cause issues and/or more ridicule. Man, you really can't win around this place, can you?

Personally, I'm with OP. When I go out to eat, it's to be with my wife and to eat in peace. I don't want any conversation with the waitstaff beyond "What would you like this evening sir" "Will that be all" "Here's your check" "Have a nice day". That's it. Opinions about my food, even if I'm a regular, are unwanted, unnecessary and unneeded. Keep your thoughts to yourself.

[Aliquid]

It's not, I used to order food from a restaurant near my apartment, and the delivery guy was just as nice as this waiter, I tried not to engage in conversation but he kept talking... I guess I have this "Loser loner aura" and they pity me and try to be friendly... I dunno.Nah, it doesn't have anything to do with you. This kind of person talks to everyone like that. They just don't stop talking... ever. They say "I love my job because I get to talk to so many interesting people". But from my experience, many of them just like the sound of their own voice, and don't listen to a thing you say. Especially the ones that don't take a hint that you aren't interested in talking. Which makes me wonder how they even tell that they talk to "interesting" people.


Man, you really can't win around this place, can you?That does appear to be a recurring theme.


Personally, I'm with OP. When I go out to eat, it's to be with my wife and to eat in peace. I don't want any conversation with the waitstaff beyond "What would you like this evening sir" "Will that be all" "Here's your check" "Have a nice day". That's it. Opinions about my food, even if I'm a regular, are unwanted, unnecessary and unneeded. Keep your thoughts to yourself.They are often told to take an interest and talk to you... so I cut them some slack with that. As long as they take the hint that I'm not interested and drop the subject after the first attempt.

I used to work in retail many years ago. My performance was regularly judged based on how I interacted with customers. One of the things on my list of things I had to do was: "Thank them by name", which you would read off their credit card (if they used one). I personally saw it as rude and presumptuous that I could use the person's name without them introducing themselves to me. I remember saying "what if I can't pronounce their name, that might be annoying to them". The response from management was "just say 'that's an interesting name, how do you pronounce it'"... my response was "if someone said that to me, I would tell them it was none of their ###ing business".

Any customer service type job is often run by extremely extroverted people. Once you get into a big retail/restaurant chain, all of their policies are made by some high-achiever exuberant extrovert working group where they ask "what sort of customer service would we like"... guess what? A good portion of the public do NOT share your social preferences.

[Aedilred]

I have to be honest, nothing in the reported conversation strikes me as being anything more than one would expect from someone trying to do a decent service job. No personal questions, no attempts to make conversation about anything other than the order being placed...

If that comes across as unacceptably chatty, I don't know what to tell you.

[S@tanicoaldo]

Opinions about my food, even if I'm a regular, are unwanted, unnecessary and unneeded. Keep your thoughts to yourself.

Unless asked, which I believe the OP didn't do.

I mean I remember going to a French restaurant and I asked for the waiter’s opinion on wine and cheese since I don't know anything about those things.

But I would hate if I asked for a kind of cheese and the waiter went all "Well actually you should not order this kind of cheese with this kind of food, that’s dumb." WTF? Dude. I didn't ask for your opinion.


It's not, I used to order food from a restaurant near my apartment, and the delivery guy was just as nice as this waiter, I tried not to engage in conversation but he kept talking... I guess I have this "Loser loner aura" and they pity me and try to be friendly... I dunno.

That's actually very possible, I remember when I was a teen my aunt had a small cinema and I used to work there during summer, I used to feel pity for those who had to go to the movies by themselves so I tried to be extra nice to them.

Reconsidering, maybe I was being annoying the whole time and I didn't knew it.

But a lone guy going to the same restaurant and orders the same food everytime? Yeah that just screams sad.

https://assets3.thrillist.com/v1/image/1179397/size/tmg-facebook_social.jpg



It's not, I used to order food from a restaurant near my apartment, and the delivery guy was just as nice as this waiter, I tried not to engage in conversation but he kept talking... I guess I have this "Loser loner aura" and they pity me and try to be friendly... I dunno.

That's actually a pretty common problem to shy and awkward people:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C3Cbco0XEAEB4KT.jpg

[Starwulf]

I have to be honest, nothing in the reported conversation strikes me as being anything more than one would expect from someone trying to do a decent service job. No personal questions, no attempts to make conversation about anything other than the order being placed...

If that comes across as unacceptably chatty, I don't know what to tell you.

The waiter laughed at what the customer ordered, that's unacceptable mistake #1. Then admitted that he was laughing at OP the other day with his friends(well, at what OP was ordering), that's mistake #2. Then basically put OP into a situation where the OP would come off as disagreeable/rude if OP refused to try what the waiter was suggesting, even though the OP wouldn't even be getting the type of food he normally ordered, that's mistake #3(no pie, and no sfihas, plus not enough fries/too much rice). All of that is far out of the bounds of what a waiter should be doing at their job. Hell, I can even name mistake #4: The waiter was literally downselling. Most places look down on that, if the customer wants to spend more money, you let them, you don't go "Oh, you should do this and this instead, it'll save you X money". Especially when it is, again, not what the customer really wants.

Now, as others have said, the situation is different if you are specifically asking for advice, but this clearly wasn't the case.

[Fawkes]

So I went there yesterday, got served by the same waiter, he laughed after I did my order, I asked what was so funny and he said that no one normally asks for sfihas together with normal food and that they are more like snacks(The place is like a “Arabic restaurant” but not really), then he add that I could get a better deal, with more food for less money by ordering a combo, at that moment I could not help but think about Bartmanhomer and one of his infamous threads.

The combo was rice, a well done steak, salad, some sort of stuffed zucchini and fries, desert include. I normally ask for all that but no zucchini, less rice, more fries, 5 cheese sfihas and a pie that is not in the combo, so the reason I don't order the combo is that I won't be able to eat all the rice and the pie I want is not include, still he insisted for me to get the combo since it was more food for less money, he was trying to be nice so I laughed and I end up getting it and regretting it, since as I said, it was too much rice not enough fries and a desert I didn't want to eat (I'm also not a fan of zucchini).

After that he seemed to be pretty happy, he said it was weird since everyone normally asked for a combo, I asked him if that was what he and his friends were laughing about the other day, he said it was and apologized if it was rude, I laughed off said it was ok.

In the end I end up spending almost the same amount of money since I ordered the pie I wanted to go, I intruded myself to him, thanked for the attention and now I plan to go to another less judgmental restaurant next time. Since that combo was not for me. I think I'll try a fancy Italian restaurant next, I hope they will be less nosy.

I have two conflicting reactions to this story.

As someone who worked in a restaurant (but was bad at it), that sounds like a really annoying order. I really hope 'less rice, more fries, no zucchini' is just a comparison of the different portions available in an a la carte order and not three substitutions.

As someone who eats a lot of restaurants, wow, that guy sounds annoying. You know what you want, he should just give it to you! Jeez!


But a lone guy going to the same restaurant and orders the same food everytime? Yeah that just screams sad.

Hey, sometimes you've got a long commute and you just need some food.
:smallfrown:

[SaintRidley]

they're still guaranteed minimum wage even if nobody tips them.

Minimum wage in America being far lower than it should be, however, is an argument against not tipping despite that.

[Honest Tiefling]

Hey, sometimes you've got a long commute and you just need some food.
:smallfrown:

This was my reaction. I sometimes eat alone because I want food RIGHT NOW. If you think that anyone eating alone is sad as opposed to just wanting some peace and quiet, maybe you shouldn't work in customer service.

And yeah, try a new place. Laughing at people is something we learned not to do in elementary school FFS.

[Delicious Taffy]

This was my reaction. I sometimes eat alone because I want food RIGHT NOW. If you think that anyone eating alone is sad as opposed to just wanting some peace and quiet, maybe you shouldn't work in customer service.

And yeah, try a new place. Laughing at people is something we learned not to do in elementary school FFS.

Honestly. This is first grade stuff, people. If you laugh at Weird Jeff, the loner with a puppet obsession, he's going to grow up to have several popular comedy tours based around talking to himself.

[AMFV]

Honestly. This is first grade stuff, people. If you laugh at Weird Jeff, the loner with a puppet obsession, he's going to grow up to have several popular comedy tours based around talking to himself.

And then you'll be partially responsible for the crime against humanity that is Jeff Dunham, and that's probably enough to condemn you to eternal suffering (at the very least).

[Chen]

The combo was rice, a well done steak, salad, some sort of stuffed zucchini and fries, desert include. I normally ask for all that but no zucchini, less rice, more fries, 5 cheese sfihas and a pie that is not in the combo, so the reason I don't order the combo is that I won't be able to eat all the rice and the pie I want is not include, still he insisted for me to get the combo since it was more food for less money, he was trying to be nice so I laughed and I end up getting it and regretting it, since as I said, it was too much rice not enough fries and a desert I didn't want to eat (I'm also not a fan of zucchini).

...

In the end I end up spending almost the same amount of money since I ordered the pie I wanted to go, I intruded myself to him, thanked for the attention and now I plan to go to another less judgmental restaurant next time. Since that combo was not for me. I think I'll try a fancy Italian restaurant next, I hope they will be less nosy.

So I mean what do you normally order? A main meal along with a bunch of extra sides (like the rice and fries)? Was it still cheaper after you bought the extra desert? Do you normally order extra fries or are the side fries just larger than the amount they give? And the side rice smaller than what they give with the combo?

[Misery Esquire]

But a lone guy going to the same restaurant and orders the same food everytime? Yeah that just screams sad.

/shrug

I'm so regular at the restaurants around town that they automatically put my order on without a word just when I walk in the door, remove the exact change from the till for the tip I'll add, we share a laugh as I say "Oh, same old", and then I leave. 'tis relaxing.

[Delicious Taffy]

So I mean what do you normally order? A main meal along with a bunch of extra sides (like the rice and fries)? Was it still cheaper after you bought the extra desert? Do you normally order extra fries or are the side fries just larger than the amount they give? And the side rice smaller than what they give with the combo?

Careful, now. We're dangerously close to falling into the "How much was the special?" territory.

The only way to avoid a mess is for OP to list the exact prices of every food item involved, item by item. Well, or we could all have some self-control, but when does that ever happen?

[Peelee]

Careful, now. We're dangerously close to falling into the "How much was the special?" territory.

The only way to avoid a mess is for OP to list the exact prices of every food item involved, item by item. Well, or we could all have some self-control, but when does that ever happen?

I've suddenly got a hankering for pizza.

[2D8HP]

I've suddenly got a hankering for pizza.


The special or the vegetable slices?

[thamolas]

I really like being a regular at nice restaurants and eating alone. I make friends with the owners, learn about the staff, and bring presents on birthdays/holidays. And when I bring friends or the wife, it gets fun and rowdy and we get freebies and surprise items, etc. My friends are usually impressed by free drinks, free dessert, and the owner showing us his vacation photos.

I always over tip. And I always take an interest in other people and talk about their lives (if the restaurant isn't busy). Thankfully, I like to dine during the quiet hours.

Life is too short to be unfriendly or unkind. What you put out there is what you get back. Life is funny like that.

[Chen]

Careful, now. We're dangerously close to falling into the "How much was the special?" territory.

The only way to avoid a mess is for OP to list the exact prices of every food item involved, item by item. Well, or we could all have some self-control, but when does that ever happen?

Well considering there are a number of posts deriding the server for their actions as well as the OPs post wanting to understand the behavior, I'd think the details would be relevant. It's also the second thread whereby a server ostensibly is offering something for cheaper (against their interests) and then insisting that the customer take it, even after the customer refuses. This is just plain bizarre behavior for at least one side in each case.

[S@tanicoaldo]

Well considering there are a number of posts deriding the server for their actions as well as the OPs post wanting to understand the behavior, I'd think the details would be relevant. It's also the second thread whereby a server ostensibly is offering something for cheaper (against their interests) and then insisting that the customer take it, even after the customer refuses. This is just plain bizarre behavior for at least one side in each case.

Don't you get it? That's how the government insert the mind controlling chips in our bodies, it's in the combos, it's in the air and it's in the water! We can't escape!

[Peelee]

The special or the vegetable slices?

Well, the special, clearly. It's cheaper.

[Caribou3]

As a person who worked in food service, the answer to the post question is : yes, you are being judged on everything most of the time.

More often than not, you are being judged on how well you tip, though! And, how needy you are.

[Xyril]

At-will employment stares are fun. You can only sue if you can prove they fired you for a protected reason, so employers just don't tell you why they fired you, and they're just peachy.

That's... actually not true at all in my experience. Whether they give you a pretext reason or no reason at all, the employee is generally given substantial latitude to prove the real reasons for their firing. This includes the right to ask for access to a wide range of information during discovery, and if the employer is reasonably large and sophisticated (basically, a company that can count its employees without taking off its shoes and socks), the courts tend to be very suspicious if any business records are missing or "never existed." Then you go to town. If they gave you a pretext reason, proving they lied is usually enough for you to win. In other words, if they claim you were fired for violating dress code, and you gather a bunch of evidence that numerous employees violated dress code far more than you and were never disciplined, let alone fired, then the employer is pretty much screwed--even if you can't find great evidence showing he fired you for a protected reason, the very fact that he lied pretty much creates a rebutable presumption.

Even if they give no reason at all, you'll be able to look through reams of documents to find the reason. Sure, it'll take hundreds of hours of work, but if they did something wrong, they're paying for it.

[Peelee]

That's... actually not true at all in my experience. Whether they give you a pretext reason or no reason at all, the employee is generally given substantial latitude to prove the real reasons for their firing. This includes the right to ask for access to a wide range of information during discovery, and if the employer is reasonably large and sophisticated (basically, a company that can count its employees without taking off its shoes and socks), the courts tend to be very suspicious if any business records are missing or "never existed." Then you go to town. If they gave you a pretext reason, proving they lied is usually enough for you to win. In other words, if they claim you were fired for violating dress code, and you gather a bunch of evidence that numerous employees violated dress code far more than you and were never disciplined, let alone fired, then the employer is pretty much screwed--even if you can't find great evidence showing he fired you for a protected reason, the very fact that he lied pretty much creates a rebutable presumption.

Even if they give no reason at all, you'll be able to look through reams of documents to find the reason. Sure, it'll take hundreds of hours of work, but if they did something wrong, they're paying for it.

I was under the impression they could fire for no reason at all.

[tomandtish]

I was under the impression they could fire for no reason at all.

Depends on where you are. If you are in an "at will" state (I'm in TX which is one such state) and don't have a contract that provides security, then technically yes, they actually can. And if you believe it was for a reason that is actually protected, then you'll have to prove it (burden is on you).

In reality, if it is a firing and not a layoff, most places will give you a reason in some form, even in an "at will" state. While technically they don't have to, it avoids potential suits. Odds are good if they are firing you and don't offer a reason at all? Something smelly is going on.

It's also relevant because of unemployment benefits (assuming you are otherwise eligible). There are some reasons you can be fired that will disqualify you from receiving them. But if the company provides no reason at all, then there can't be a disqualifying reason based on the firing.

[Keltest]

I was under the impression they could fire for no reason at all.

They don't have to provide a reason, but that doesn't mean there wasn't one. The claim is that, in theory, if you dig through enough paper work you can find evidence that suggests there was a reason.

Having said that, any argument that relies on hundreds of hours of digging through paperwork is a bad argument. That just isn't the sort of thing people can generally muster the time and energy to do, especially if theyre job hunting.

[Aliquid]

Depends on where you are. If you are in an "at will" state (I'm in TX which is one such state) and don't have a contract that provides security, then technically yes, they actually can. And if you believe it was for a reason that is actually protected, then you'll have to prove it (burden is on you).And that's just talking about the US

In some other countries, "wrongful dismissal" is a pretty serious thing.

[Xyril]

I was under the impression they could fire for no reason at all.

They can and they can't. Certain restrictions still apply. For example, you might live in a state where you can be fired for no reason at all. However, in situations where retaliatory firing for complaining about sexual harassment is illegal, you pretty much lose your ability to fire someone "for no reason at all," because the timing and the circumstances will make it look a lot like you're being fired in retaliation. I'm sure there are instances where you could (hypothetically, if you decide to cut your work force in half, and simultaneously fire 99 people who didn't file complaints and 1 person who did, you might be okay.)



Having said that, any argument that relies on hundreds of hours of digging through paperwork is a bad argument.


That's a rather glib assertion that seems like it could use some more justification.



That just isn't the sort of thing people can generally muster the time and energy to do, especially if theyre job hunting.

Which is precisely why there are attorneys who specialize in this sort of work and why employment law is one of the few areas in United States law with statutory fee-shifting. Wrongful termination is precisely the sort of case where the amount in controversy--particularly if the job you were fired from was low wage--is small compared to the sheer amount of time it takes to litigate. However, when the law says that the loser has to pay your fees and costs, it makes much more financial sense to take the case, meaning that attorneys will be lining up to do those hundreds of hours of digging for you.

[Mikemical]

If I worked at anything related with serving food and someone ordered something like a Double Down (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Down_(sandwich)) and a Diet Pepsi, I would silently judge the hell out of them. Just how you're judging them for not comforming to your perspective or treating you as you would expect. Every head is a world, as some would say.

That being said, life isn't an 80s film where the Private Investigator goes to the same diner every Tuesday for a chicken sandwich and a cup of coffee to be served by the same curly-haired blonde waitress named something that ends with a "y" who has an obvious crush on him but he doesn't notice because he's busy grimly narrating the murder case he's working on, and if he does notice he'll say he isn't any good for her which is why he's pushing her away, even though deep down he really does care for her.


That's kind of rude and uncalled for. Are you projecting your own insecurities on the Op? Tell me more.

Have you seen OP's other threads?

[Peelee]

If I worked at anything related with serving food and someone ordered something like a Double Down (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Down_(sandwich)) and a Diet Pepsi, I would silently judge the hell out of them.

Judge the hell away, the Double Down was delicious.

[Honest Tiefling]

If I worked at anything related with serving food and someone ordered something like a Double Down (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Down_(sandwich)) and a Diet Pepsi, I would silently judge the hell out of them. Just how you're judging them for not comforming to your perspective or treating you as you would expect. Every head is a world, as some would say.

Diet cola often has more caffeine then regular, and I imagine if you are ordering a double down there's a good chance you'll be burning off those calories.


As a person who worked in food service, the answer to the post question is : yes, you are being judged on everything most of the time.

More often than not, you are being judged on how well you tip, though! And, how needy you are.

Tipping 20% seems to be getting me more leeway on my gluten-free food. Got some extra meat on my order when we brought it back due to pita bread being in the take out container.

[Mikemical]

Judge the hell away, the Double Down was delicious.

I don't doubt it, but not what I'm aiming at. See...


Diet cola often has more caffeine then regular, and I imagine if you are ordering a double down there's a good chance you'll be burning off those calories.

Someone who would order such a fat saturated salty meal and then decide "I'm gonna have diet pepsi because I don't wana get fat" is worthy of being judged silently. Also, people who excercise regularly often avoid drinking sodas. And eating fried foods.

[Peelee]

I don't doubt it, but not what I'm aiming at. See...



Someone who would order such a fat saturated salty meal and then decide "I'm gonna have diet pepsi because I don't wana get fat" is worthy of being judged silently. Also, people who excercise regularly often avoid drinking sodas. And eating fried foods.

I, too, don't believe diabetic people exist.

[Xyril]

Someone who would order such a fat saturated salty meal and then decide "I'm gonna have diet pepsi because I don't wana get fat" is worthy of being judged silently.


Yeah, how dare they decide, "I'm going shave off some empty calories by using a passable* sugar substitute, and instead get those calories eating something I enjoy that is harder to find a healthy substitute for."



Also, people who excercise regularly often avoid drinking sodas. And eating fried foods.

Possibly true, but perhaps not as consistently true as you think. I regularly exercise and eat pretty unhealthily, mostly because I don't feel old or unhealthy enough to have my health be my primary concern. My favorite foods are often (not always) unhealthy ones. My favorite hobbies are often physical. I indulge in my favorite things as often as is practical because I enjoy them.

*Personally, I don't consider diet sodas a reasonable substitute for real sugar, but enough people say they do that I'm not willing to dismiss their experience.

[Spacewolf]

I don't doubt it, but not what I'm aiming at. See...



Someone who would order such a fat saturated salty meal and then decide "I'm gonna have diet pepsi because I don't wana get fat" is worthy of being judged silently. Also, people who excercise regularly often avoid drinking sodas. And eating fried foods.

I just prefer the taste of diet soft drinks the standard ones always have an aftertaste of burnt sugar to me.

[Honest Tiefling]

Yeah, how dare they decide, "I'm going shave off some empty calories by using a passable* sugar substitute, and instead get those calories eating something I enjoy that is harder to find a healthy substitute for."

This. Maybe they freaking want it. Maybe they just want to shave off a few calories from a meal they decided to splurge on for their birthday. Who cares?


Someone who would order such a fat saturated salty meal and then decide "I'm gonna have diet pepsi because I don't wana get fat" is worthy of being judged silently. Also, people who excercise regularly often avoid drinking sodas. And eating fried foods.

Plenty of people exercise in order to be able to eat unhealthy foods. Plenty of people might also have physically demanding jobs (such as heavy construction work in colder regions) where they basically inhale calories and need caffeine.