Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons [Monster]

[Goober4473]

I don't feel like formatting on the board, so I've uploaded this one: http://www.edanet.com/goober/Goon.doc

[Edit]:
Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goon
Medium Construct
Hit Dice: 4d10 (22 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft.
Armor Class: 15 (+1 Dex, +4 natural armor)
- Touch: 11 (+1 Dex)
- Flat-Footed: 14 (+4 natural armor)
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+5
Attack: Claw +5 melee (1d4+2)
Full Attack: 2 claws +5 melee (1d4+2)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Cold healing, cold subtype, construct traits, darkvision 60 feet, damage reduction 5/bludgeoning, goon building, heat vulnerability, hive mind
Saves: Fort +1 (base +1), Ref +2 (base +1), Will +2 (base +1)
Abilities: Str 14, Dex 12, Con -, Int 9, Wis 12, Cha 5
Skills: Craft (snowmen) +9 (7 ranks)
Feats: Skill Focus (Craft [snowmen]), Craft Construct
Environment: Any cold
Organization: Solitary, gang (2-4), mob (5-20), horde (21-100)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always chaotic evil
Advancement: 5-8 HD (Medium-Size)
Level Adjustment: -

"By the power invested in me by the mighty and awful snow demons, I command you to come to life! LIVE! LIVE! LIVVVE!"

The creature before you looks like a pile of three progressively smaller balls of snow stacked on top of one another. The top most snowball has two glowing rocks and a carrot positioned as eyes and a nose. A gaping hole has been dug below the carrot. Sticks ending in wicked claws extend from either side of the middle portion.

Deranged mutant killer monster snow goons are horrible snow men created from snow and evil. During long winters they multiply rapidly and have been the doom of many settlements built in cold climates.

Combat
Deranged mutant killer monster snow goons usually charge into combat and attack with their claws. They attempt to surround opponents if possible.
Cold Healing (Ex): A deranged mutant killer monster snow goon heals 1 hit point for every 3 points of cold damage it takes. In addition, it heals 1 hit point per hour spent in a temperature of 0 degrees F or below.
Goon Building (Su): A deranged mutant killer monster snow goon is considered 5th level for the purpose of constructing more deranged mutant killer monster snow goons. They pay no money or experience when creating deranged mutant killer monster snow goons, they need not provide the anime objects spell, and the crafting process takes only one day. Up to five deranged mutant killer monster snow goons can work on a creating a single crafting, and the time required is divided by the number of deranged mutant killer monster snow goons working on the construction.
Heat Vulnerability (Ex): In temperatures above 40 degrees F, deranged mutant killer monster snow goons take 1 point of damage every hour. In temperatures above 90 degrees F, they take 1 point of damage every minute instead. In temperatures above 110 degrees F, they take 1 damage every round instead.
Hive Mind (Ex): All deranged mutant killer monster snow goons within 50 miles of one another are in constant communication. If one is aware of a particular danger, they all are. If one in a group in not flat-footed, none of them are. No deranged mutant killer monster snow goons in a group is considered flanked unless all of them are.

Construction
A deranged mutant killer monster snow goon's body is constructed from snow, and specially prepared sticks, eye rocks, and a carrot, worth a total of 1,000 gp. Creating the body requires a DC 15 Craft (snowmen or sculpting) check.
CL 5; Craft Construct, animate objects, caster must be at least 5th level; Price 5,000 gp; Cost 3,000 gp + 200 XP.

[Alfryd]

"By the power invested in me by the mighty and awfulk snow demons, I command you to LIVE! LIIIIIVE! LIIIIIIIVE!"

Oh, chuckleworthy indeed. Allowing for inflation, I must wonder, however did Calvin get his hands on 1000 gp worth of specially prepared materials?

I would strongly reccomend formatting for the boards.

[BisectedBrioche]

It seems to want to make me download a new program to open the file.

[Goober4473]

It's just a DOC file, but I'll edit in the forum formatted version.

[Talanic]

Add in something like this:

For each gallon of water which strikes a snow goon, the snow goon gains +2 natural armor and a -2 penalty to dexterity. These bonuses and penalties are cumulative.

That way, Calvin's original method of defeating them is still applicable. Their natural armor bonus had to have been excellent, but their dex was zero, making them indestructible but harmless.

[Goober4473]

I hadn't thought of that. I'll consider it.

[Skaroq]

Killer Bicycle
Medium Construct
Hit Dice: 3d10+20 (37 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 70 ft.
Armor Class: 15 (+4 natural, +1 Dex), touch 11(+1 Dex), flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/+2
Attack: Slam +2 melee (1d6+1)
Full Attack: Slam +2 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: See text
Special Qualities: Construct traits, darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision; also see text
Saves: Fort +0, Ref +0, Will -5
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 13, Con —, Int 5, Wis 8, Cha 8
Skills: Hide +4 (2 ranks)*, Move Silently +5 (2 ranks)**, Intimidate +6 (2 ranks)***
Feats:
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always chaotic evil
Advancement: 4-5 HD Medium, 6-8 HD Large.
Level Adjustment:—

"If my bike doesn't get me first, I'm going to cut all it's spokes in two. You never saw me today, got it?"

The creature before you looks like an ordinary bicycle, until it charges at you and attempts to run you over.

Killer bicycles are intelligent evil constructs that frequently terrorize small towns.

Combat
A killer bicycle enters combat by using it's ranks in Intimidate to scare one opponent, then it tries to chase it and trample the opponent.
Trample (Ex)
An killer bicycle can trample creatures one or more sizes smaller than itself, dealing damage equal to the object’s slam damage + 1½ times its Strength bonus. Opponents who do not make attacks of opportunity against the object can attempt Reflex saves (DC 10 + ½ object’s HD + object’s Str modifier) to halve the damage.
Skills (Ex)
*A killer bicycle has a racial +2 bonus on Hide checks. **A killer bicycle has a racial +3 bonus on Move Silently checks.***A killer bicycle has a racial +4 bonus on Intimidate checks.

[Zeta Kai]

...Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goon...


You know, as a name, "Snow Golem" isn't taken. Not by WotC, at any rate.

And constructs, by definition, cannot be mutants anymore than a table or a clock can be mutated.

[Talanic]

Except that if you remove the name, they're no longer a reference to Calvin and Hobbes.

[Alfryd]

And constructs, by definition, cannot be mutants anymore than a table or a clock can be mutated.
Ah, but Snow Goons are clearly capable of reproduction, ergo, ipso facto, transcription errors will give rise to variation in succeeding generations of replicants. Witness, the two-headed and 3-eyed specimens which Calvin was obliged to vanquish.

[Miraqariftsky]

You said it still had a carrot as a nose. What's the carrot's attack form or is it merely aesthetic?