Good trash talk for an antagonistic fighter to dish out?

[gadren]

I'm playing a fighter with low int, low wis, high strength and high charisma, roleplayed somewhat like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. He has a feat called Antagonize where basically you insult someone and they are forced to attack you.

I was hoping for some help coming up with a list of insults that are good to come from a big dumb fighter to use when I Antagonize enemies. All the lists I've come across on this forum and others are more suited for bards, swashbucklers, etc. in the average level of wittiness. I was hoping for stuff more suited to coming from a less clever character that would still be effective at getting people riled up enough to attack you.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Poeh, that's a hard one. They can't be witty, but they must still be fun to yell out at a table...

"No matter how hard you swing that sword, you will never have arms like these."
"You're the party fighter? I'd recommend more push ups, but honestly you seem beyond hope."
*walks in* "Is it me, or did the average hotness of this room just jump up by 5 points?"
"That's not a knife, this is a knife!" (Does he use any kind of large weapon?)
"You call that a face?!"
"You have a dwarf. Mind if I borrow him for some light lifting?" (Or, you know, tossing...)
"You fight like a cow! But what did I expect from a minotaur?"
"Belle is mine! I mean uhh the church bell?"
"Stay at the YMCA, it made a man out of me." (That one might need more funny and less gay joke.)
"I am the hero you need, but not the one you deserve."

Or, in the downright rude corner:
"Your mother is a whore! But your sister was pretty good really..." (Okay, maybe it's time for me to stop.)

[gadren]

"That's not a knife, this is a knife!" (Does he use any kind of large weapon?)


He's uses a polearm and oversized javelins. So basically confirming that Freud was right.

[gadren]

Also it should be noted that I'm trying to come up with a trash talking parody of the Gaston song for the character, but so far all I have is one verse.

Whose your dad? It's Traj Tok!
Why you mad at Traj Tok?
Cheer up, your mom wasn't bad in bed with Traj Tok!
For there's no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask anyone in your fam'ly
[Last line excluded for forum TOS]

[CharonsHelper]

"You're a puny girl-man!"

*when you win initiative* "beauty before... whatever you are!"

"Did you hear that the pythons got loose?" *flexes*

"I expect to be the best looking man in every room I'm in, but you make it too easy."

"I'm far brighter than you are. Check out my pearly whites!" *grins*

"If you looked twice as good as you do, you'd still be ugly!"

"Your mother was a hamster..."

Of course - all of that is if they're a man. For women you can just use over-the-top groaner & mildly sexist pick-up lines to get them to angry at you.

"Do you know why your feet are so small? It's so that you can get closer to the stove when you cook me breakfast." etc.

[curious-puzzle]

My vote is to steal shamelessly from Pro wrestling. Also, referring to yourself in the third person is a big bonus too! I'm thinking along the lines of "The Boulder" from the Last Airbender series (who was a parody of the Rock).

"The Boulder is gonna bury you in a rockalanche!"