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The Cats
2017-06-29, 10:38 PM
3/6 players "I'll try to make it but can't make any promises."

Last session one of them didn't come because he decided to see a movie instead. But hey! That's cool! You don't have to give me any notice or anything, it's not like I spend most of my Sundays preparing these games. I'm sure it was a really good movie.

Let's find some new players! Should be easy in a small town with a tiny game shop/internet cafe that has plenty of MTG, warhammer, and Yugioh merchandise. Oh and a couple DnD 4e campaign setting books collecting dust in a corner. I checked. That's all they have. Why doesn't anyone in this town like the my kind of fun?

Guess I'll just introduce some half-interested friends to the game. That worked great last time. Or I can join the game my friends I know from back in highschool keep inviting me to as a player. Good thing I'm a big fan of getting high and drunk while I play and being rewarded for murdering things with getting to have sex with things otherwise that would seem unappealing!

Ok, done angry ranting. It's probably not as bad as all that but I'm just getting super annoyed with how hard it's been to get a good group together for the last 4 years up here.

Lentrax
2017-06-29, 11:17 PM
I hear you on that.

Zurvan
2017-06-29, 11:40 PM
Yes it is too much.

Cisturn
2017-06-30, 12:25 AM
I'm sorry dude. That sounds pretty stressful. Also your high school group sounds a little strange too. It sounds fun if that's what you're into, or nightmarish if you're not.

Maybe you could talk to your group about scheduling a different day. I know for me, Saturday is a weird day to play on, since there always seems like there's something else going on. Family birthday parties, friends visiting from out of time, weekend get away type things. Lots of stuff that might take priority over game night as well.

Maybe you could talk to your group about switching to a weekday? Or switching to playing online if everyone can't meet up, or has to be up early the next day. I know it's not ideal. But it could be something to consider.

Knaight
2017-06-30, 01:15 AM
First things first - for some people it is too much to ask, because they have limited control over their schedules. It happens.


3/6 players "I'll try to make it but can't make any promises."
A group of three players plus a GM is totally functional, and reasonable people understand having to leave an event that requires regular attendance they can't do. This sounds like a self solving problem.

Vitruviansquid
2017-06-30, 01:51 AM
Yeah, that sucks. But that is only phase 1.

Phase 2 is: "Well, people keep missing the game and we keep having to cancel, so I figure there would be no game this Saturday. That's why I didn't show up and gave no notice."

Phase 3 is: "GM should've told me earlier that we weren't going to have enough players for Saturday, then I would've had plans on Saturday!" ignoring the fact that you can't know when your players decided to flake in order to underman your game.



But in any case, I find this is effective:

Establish right away if you would like to play RPGs, it is a commitment.

Let your group know that...

1. The GM takes some time to prepare for games.
2. Everybody else is, presumably, giving up things they could be doing on Saturday to play the RPG.

That way, it is a real **** move to cancel without telling people, or cancel at the last minute, or cancel for something minor like seeing a movie. If you want to drop out of the game, that is fine, but so long as you say you are a member of the group, you have to make the sessions.

Now, RPGs is not the ultimate responsibility, and we don't want people to actually stress over making a game, so let the rule simply be - if you can't make a session, you are buying pizza or beer for the group next week. If multiple people can't make a session, they are splitting the cost of pizza. You may wish to make exceptions. For example, if you need to ditch the game to have a hot date, sure. Or, tell people to go ahead and have the hot date and then pay for pizza. It is up to them to judge whether whatever they're doing is worth the price of pizza.

If they want to make other plans, inform the group before - let's say - Thursday. That is on top of buying pizza. Not at the very least informing the group should be known as a very **** move.

Grimmnist
2017-06-30, 02:01 AM
Piling onto the ranting, I feel the pain of people cancelling but my big pet peeve is people on their phones during the session. They don't need to be playing Hearthstone right now we're already playing a game, then afterwards he complained about not having an impact in game.

I've been trying to come up with ways to get the character more involved in the story so I should be able improve the situation, just wanted to complain.

herceg
2017-06-30, 02:17 AM
Piling onto the ranting, I feel the pain of people cancelling but my big pet peeve is people on their phones during the session. They don't need to be playing Hearthstone right now we're already playing a game, then afterwards he complained about not having an impact in game.

I've been trying to come up with ways to get the character more involved in the story so I should be able improve the situation, just wanted to complain.

Have a basket, make a policy that everyone have to put their phones into it before game stars.
No excuse, anyone picking up their phone pays phone-tax (be it xp, snacks, pizza for the dm, whatever fits by your group). Those unwilling should be cut loose.

To the OP:
You better stick to those who want to make it and forget those who don't care. It's better not to play than to play with such unmotivated people who don't give enough **** to give you a headsup (or who pick a movie instead of gaming).
I've been gaming for the last twenty-odd years and only since 4-5 years have a regular group with DM and players as enthusiastic as I am, so I've been in your shoes, it never worths it sadly (but easy to think it does, when there's no alternative). On the long run though they just poison your attitude, so better get rid of them.

Alanzeign
2017-06-30, 03:30 AM
Yes it is too much.

If it is too much for people to show up on a bi-weekly basis then it is too much of them to ask you to GM for them, especially since they give no notice, period. It is a commitment that you prepare for and when people don't show up on a whim it is exceedingly disrespectful. Unfortunately, you may not be in a position to replace such members. If this is the case and it is an ongoing thing I would recommend taking a break for a while, as trying to keep things going as is will only put a large amount of stress on you and make the game as a whole less enjoyable.

If for some people it is too much to ask, that is fine. They can also respectfully withdraw from the game. The person choosing a movie over the time everyone else has set aside for a gaming activity is wasting not only the time of the DM but everyone involved.

This is a simple thing that adults do all the time. People raid in MMORPGs and you are supposed to have set that time aside. People make plans to watch movies, go to the dog park, help repair a swingset, etc. Generally it is expected that if scheduled, people show up. When people don't show up often enough, people stop expecting them to show up and there is no longer a place for them reserved at said activity. It's a normal part of life when someone doesn't show up that another willing person takes their place. Of course there are exceptions giving that everyone playing is an adult human, but exceptions are by definition the minority. Players and GMs alike need to respect the time commitment set aside by everyone involved for playing, which actively keeps people from doing anything else during that time. One person's time is not more important than the other, but communication regarding things that come up (that aren't frivolous, such as watching a movie instead) goes a long way.

Darth Ultron
2017-06-30, 06:29 AM
Yes, it is too much to ask for most people. But then that is why most people don't make good gamers. The only real solution is to be strict: if people don't show up, then you kick them out of the game. And you have to except nothing less then their house exploding as a good excise for them to miss a game. Anything less then that will just annoy you has they will all ways have a reason to miss 9 out of 10 games. So if they call up and are like ''I can't game tonight, the baby has a cold'', your better off just saying ''I understand, maybe we can game again in 18 years or so''.

Way too many people, known as casual gamers, just think of the game as a default ''well if I have nothing better to do'' type of thing. You don't want any of this type of person in your game. They will always not show up, as long as they can find something else to do.

Another side of the causal gamer to avoid is the one with a full life. This is the crazy person that agrees to help someone say paint their whole house starting at like 3 pm on Saturday and then, this clueless person will somehow automatiacly think they will be ''done'' hours before the Game starts at 6PM. They are wrong of course....they will be painting by flashlights until 1am.... Of course, they will call every hour or so and be like ''I'll be there, I just need to paint the whole house...so like ten more minutes. "

Even if you live in a town of like 400 people, there are still more people. It can be worth it to find them.

Misereor
2017-06-30, 06:52 AM
3/6 players "I'll try to make it but can't make any promises."

Last session one of them didn't come because he decided to see a movie instead. But hey! That's cool! You don't have to give me any notice or anything, it's not like I spend most of my Sundays preparing these games. I'm sure it was a really good movie.

Let's find some new players! Should be easy in a small town with a tiny game shop/internet cafe that has plenty of MTG, warhammer, and Yugioh merchandise. Oh and a couple DnD 4e campaign setting books collecting dust in a corner. I checked. That's all they have. Why doesn't anyone in this town like the my kind of fun?

Guess I'll just introduce some half-interested friends to the game. That worked great last time. Or I can join the game my friends I know from back in highschool keep inviting me to as a player. Good thing I'm a big fan of getting high and drunk while I play and being rewarded for murdering things with getting to have sex with things otherwise that would seem unappealing!

Ok, done angry ranting. It's probably not as bad as all that but I'm just getting super annoyed with how hard it's been to get a good group together for the last 4 years up here.


I think most groups have had your problem at one time or another.
We've tried solving it by moved sessions from Sundays to Fridays to Saturdays, and eventually back to Sundays. Tried changing the frequency and number of hours. E.g. every third week instead of every second, but for 2 hours longer. We tried adding more players so we could afford to have 1-2 absentees, and we've tried having fewer, but more dedicated players. We tried scheduling sessions months in advance and we tried confirming schedules a few days before sessions. Some of it worked, some didn't and some worked for a time only.

What we found most effective in the end was making clear to everyone that when other people make plans that depend on you and you cancel at the last moment, you are keeping them from making other plans and basically screwing up their whole weekend. Two players stepped up and improved their attendance, and a third decided he would rather offer up his spot at the table for someone else, than angering the rest of us on a regular basis. That was 3 years ago, and thus far we've managed to keep everyone in the group and near 100% attendance rate.

Altair_the_Vexed
2017-06-30, 07:40 AM
Learn to game around the players you have, not the players you want to have.

I've been gaming all my adolescent and adult life, about 30 years in all. In my experience, people have real lives, and other kinds of fun to enjoy! If you demand that they give up the chance to spontaneously have other fun, then they're going to either ignore that demand, or leave.
I ran games for a few years at my local club - every single week. It was stressful, and hard work, and players came and went. People showed up or didn't, and I had to deal with it. So I had to fit my games around the fact that players might be absent at any given session.

See, before I was married, if I got a date at short notice (for example - other kinds of fun are available), then of course my game commitments would be dropped! And I rested assured in the knowledge that my good friends would understand. Because I don't usually play games with people who aren't my friends - that's too much like competition or sports or something, not something I'd call play time. Sometimes, new gamers become new friends.

To those on this thread saying "kick them out", I say "Good bye! It wasn't nice gaming with you!" - again, because I want to play with friends, and friends are always happy if you can join in.

2D8HP
2017-06-30, 07:52 AM
Instead of 4 hours every other week, make it two hours every week and change the time.

Also you say 3 out of 6 flake most weeks, do you have at least two who are consistent?

mephnick
2017-06-30, 08:10 AM
Wait until people start having kids and jobs with varying schedules.

We play like 10 times a year.

Zombimode
2017-06-30, 08:31 AM
Saturday is the Problem. Try Sundays or under the week (except Fridays). EVERYONE aims for saturday, thus it is the worst day for a regular schedule.

Under the week (except Friday which is similar to saturday) on the other Hand, most People do either nothing at the evening or have something regular going (like Sports or Underwater Basket Weaving Club or whatever). IF you manage to find a day for a regular schedule with enough people this tends to be very stable.

Sundays is a bit more attractive (since you are not limited to evenings), but also more difficult but by far not as difficult as Fridays and Saturdays.

Jay R
2017-06-30, 08:48 AM
D&D will never be the number one priority for your friends. Jobs, relationships, school, other hobbies and many other things will always compete for their time.

I can't simply give up a block of time months from now to D&D.

So yes, 4 hours every other Saturday really is too much to ask. Any automatic time frame that arbitrarily puts D&D ahead of all the rest of my life is too much to ask.

I just received an email from my DM - he's checking to see if enough people can play this Saturday. We did last Saturday, for the first time in a couple of months.

That's normal life. D&D does not come first even for only 4 hours every other Saturday.

You'll have to schedule each game separately, just like you do every date, every shopping trip, every vacation, and every other occasional activity.

Lord Torath
2017-06-30, 09:14 AM
Four hours every other Saturday may, indeed, be too much to ask. What should not be too much to ask is that your players let you know ahead of time whether they can make it. Talk to your players about the opportunity costs they are imposing on you when they simply don't show up, and urge them to let you know before-hand. Rules like no-call no-shows buy pizza next time can work, depending on your players. But get them to agree to it before implementing it, and be prepared to be reasonable in emergency situations (kid gets hurt, car breaks down, etc.).

Geigan
2017-06-30, 09:22 AM
My group runs it on a weekly basis. If you're not there, tough luck. Your character goes in the box of "things this story doesn't care to acknowledge right now". Maybe the GM cares enough to give your character a reason to be doing things while he's not there, but priority tends to go to the players who are there and ready to play. If you can't be there, nothing held against you. You just aren't there this session. If a majority of players don't show up, we don't play.

But we actually run two games. One is the main game where most of the players show up regularly, and one is considered the "off" game. The GM for the off game flat out told players he was going to run without them if they didn't bother to show up. He's running an NPC cleric just to make up for players that don't feel the need to show up regularly, because he knew some of them tended to have difficult schedules. Before that there was another off game that failed because it relied on 4 out of 4 players to be there, and 2 of them weren't always consistent, which is why the GM that took over afterwards decided to say no, we're doing this regularly come hell or high water. 1 of the players dropped off, the other became more regular. The point is, when the game is consistent, the people who actually want to be there will make time (assuming no additional drama/actual difficulties of course).

Slipperychicken
2017-06-30, 09:34 AM
My group has an online chat where we state our availability for the weekend and make a decision about what time is best. It keeps things relatively flexible since we all have shifting obligations and can fit time wherever we have it. We rarely do the exact same time every weekend.

Often times when we meet, we don't even play RPGs, instead opting for "normal" social activities like movies, TV, hitting the beach, or going to an arcade. I like it a lot more than when roleplaying was literally the only thing we did together. It probably makes for a more balanced social life somehow.

OverdrivePrime
2017-06-30, 10:41 AM
It depends where you're at in life. When I was in high school 3-4 hours on a Friday night (Saturdays during fall for sports reasons) was pretty standard. We didn't have other social commitments because we *were* our main social group.

College was optimal for gaming - Work, 15 credits, an over-indulgent social life and still plenty of time for 2 different games a week. :smallbiggrin:

At 40 though, man... I don't have time for a four-hour block of anything, and neither does the rest of my group. We play as close to weekly as family and work commitments allow, usually about 2-2.5 hours on a Wednesday. Far from optimal, but at least we get to get together and play pretty often.

Cealocanth
2017-06-30, 10:45 AM
If people are too busy on Saturdays (and I can't blame them. Everything happens on Saturdays), I would suggest moving to online or that local games store on a weekday night. Thursdays are often pretty good. Make it weekly, running from around 7 PM to 9 PM. You will have better attendance that way. If you're doing online you also have the option of getting playera from other places in the world, which broadens your potential playerbase quite a bit. Be sure to have a thorough understanding of time zones, however.

DaveOTN
2017-06-30, 11:01 AM
Saturday is the Problem. Try Sundays or under the week (except Fridays). EVERYONE aims for saturday, thus it is the worst day for a regular schedule.

Under the week (except Friday which is similar to saturday) on the other Hand, most People do either nothing at the evening or have something regular going (like Sports or Underwater Basket Weaving Club or whatever). IF you manage to find a day for a regular schedule with enough people this tends to be very stable.

Sundays is a bit more attractive (since you are not limited to evenings), but also more difficult but by far not as difficult as Fridays and Saturdays.

This may not solve your problem but it's worth considering. Saturdays are tough for any type of scheduling, especially as people get older and start doing things out of town more often. Out of your group of seven people (you plus the players), the chances that one or two people are going to be visiting friends, going camping, taking a day trip, visiting relatives, or whatever on any given Saturday are pretty high. It may be worth trying a weekday evening if you're all local and have similar work schedules, even if you have to cut down to three hours and be prompt about it. Nobody arranges to go out of town on a weekday and rather than complain about how "We can never do anything because of your D&D game," spouses and partners are likely to take the hint from your set game night every Thursday and do their own thing with their friends on the same schedule.

Mastikator
2017-06-30, 12:44 PM
Yes that's way too much, I wouldn't be able to make the majority of those sessions.

Corsair14
2017-06-30, 12:49 PM
Yeah, my wife would have a fit if I played 4 hours every other weekend. A weeknight I could get away with, weekends are when stuff needs to get done. My group is lucky lately to get together once a month on a Monday night.

PS: Since on reading it sounds like you are in high school, remember chicks always take priority over a game even at the last minute.

FreddyNoNose
2017-06-30, 02:53 PM
Allow players to have multiple characters. Say up to three of four characters that each COULD run in the session. If a random player shows up, great if not, then let your players run more than one character. Back in the day, some DMs would let you decide which character to run that session. And that is ok even if you think hey we are in the middle of the dungeon and you had your half-orc last week and now you want to play your elf. It is ok to allow that in some games.

Jay R
2017-07-01, 09:45 AM
Once you get past school and into a complex life, it's almost impossible to schedule a hobby or game slot that never moves. There are too many real-life commitments and tasks that don't follow a perfect unchanging schedule.

So you need to schedule each session individually. And even so, you need to recognize that you won't get everyone there for each session.

Some weekends you'll have to reschedule to a different time. Sometimes you'll have three weeks in a row, and other times you'll go a month or two without being able to make a session.

The game is not anybody's number one priority. Shopping, chores, home maintenance, car maintenance, overtime, relatives, and many other things come first.

Winter_Wolf
2017-07-01, 10:02 AM
It occurs to me that this problem of getting everyone together consistently is why old D&D was mostly one shot dungeons and multiple characters in a pool. You played with who showed up and with a character that worked for the session. I doubt that it's super compatible with anything post 2nd edition, but it probably works for many other RPGs; Shadowrun strikes me as a prime candidate for it and it fits just about perfectly with gathering some runners for a raid or extraction.

Max_Killjoy
2017-07-01, 10:06 AM
One of reasons I was so eager to go from work that could schedule 7 days a week, morning or evening hours, to a job with regular weekday daytime hours only, was so that I could actually have reliable free time on the weekends to game.

This is not how it worked out.

Koo Rehtorb
2017-07-01, 10:08 AM
Most people have the ability to set aside a block of four hours and consistently make it every week, with exceptions for emergencies and unusual circumstances. People do exist with genuinely chaotic lives that can be called on to perform critical tasks at any moment, but they're relatively few and far between.

What it comes down to is how much effort people are willing to put in to dedicating a time block to leisure activity. They have to be willing to make a declaration that they are Unavailable for anything other than emergencies at that time, every week. A lot of people aren't willing to make that level of commitment, and that's fine. The best thing to do is play with people who share a level of commitment with you, otherwise you're going to be driving each other crazy.

Edit - also be willing to consider tech solutions. If someone is traveling a lot then consider setting up a way for them to play over the internet instead.

scalyfreak
2017-07-01, 12:46 PM
Whether it's too much to ask or not, depends on the people involved. Adults with busy lives still manage to show up for their child's evening activities once a week, to make that volunteer commitment of a few hours every weekend, et cetera.

Scheduling comes down to priorities. Unfortunately, a that hobby has no other benefit than to keep you happy, but requires several hours to do so, may not be something it's possible to prioritize, when compared to other commitments and the effects they have on a much larger number of people around us.That's life.

War_lord
2017-07-01, 03:32 PM
3/6 players "I'll try to make it but can't make any promises."

Last session one of them didn't come because he decided to see a movie instead. But hey! That's cool! You don't have to give me any notice or anything, it's not like I spend most of my Sundays preparing these games. I'm sure it was a really good movie.

They probably don't do it to deliberately antagonize you, or even with negative intent. I'm guessing the situation is that you suggested D&D to them, and they said yes out, because that's the considerate thing to say. But at some point they realized it's not for them, but they can't bring themselves to just say that, so they're in a permanent cycle of "I promised I'd go to D&D this time, but X wants me to do Y thing with them, and I'll enjoy that much more, screw it, I'm bailing on that dumb game". I doubt they're malevolent or anything, they just have different priorities then you.

I'm DMing a Curse of Strahd game, with the exact same time schedule as yours. The difference is that my players are all hardcore (video) gamers who don't think spending their Saturday playing a game for hours is that strange. No, it's not that hard to make time for if someone really wants to make it, but if they don't want to make time, they'll keep subconsciously justifying leaving you in the lurch.


Let's find some new players! Should be easy in a small town with a tiny game shop/internet cafe that has plenty of MTG, warhammer, and Yugioh merchandise. Oh and a couple DnD 4e campaign setting books collecting dust in a corner. I checked. That's all they have. Why doesn't anyone in this town like the my kind of fun?

Because D&D is a "weird" hobby? Honestly you're not alone in the player drought you're describing, there's a reason so much D&D has moved online.


Guess I'll just introduce some half-interested friends to the game. That worked great last time. Or I can join the game my friends I know from back in highschool keep inviting me to as a player. Good thing I'm a big fan of getting high and drunk while I play and being rewarded for murdering things with getting to have sex with things otherwise that would seem unappealing!

Seems like you're being a bit unfair. Some groups just see D&D as an excuse to hang out, I think that's dumb, but hey, I think a lot of our western social conventions are dumb.


Ok, done angry ranting. It's probably not as bad as all that but I'm just getting super annoyed with how hard it's been to get a good group together for the last 4 years up here.

The vibe I'm getting, and I could be wrong as I don't know anything about your age or circumstances, is that as your old social circle has aged, their interests and expectations have diverged rather drastically from yours. That's unfortunately just a thing that happens.

Talyn
2017-07-01, 03:50 PM
Wait until you have kids. Sigh.

Lemmy
2017-07-01, 05:03 PM
Sometimes, to some people... Yes, it is.

Right now, every Saturday is a shot in the dark on whether I'll leave work by 11:00 or stay until 20:00h... Or if I'll stay until somewhat late, but still have enough free time to check the forums (like today).

And this is despite me being single with no kids... For people in committed relationships and/or with children, the scarcity of time can be even more serious.

All that said... There are people who just can't (or won't) honor to the commitment.

Darth Ultron
2017-07-01, 08:02 PM
That's normal life. D&D does not come first even for only 4 hours every other Saturday.


This is a good point. If you want a good group of good gamers, look for people that will put the game ''first''.

To many this is wrong or impossible....and that is fine if that is what you think. I would just recommend not even trying to game with such people.

Being adults, having a family, and so on have nothing to do with it. If a person wants to do something...they will.

Of course the worst are the people who ''can't'' find the time to game....yet they did ''find'' six hours to play a video game. Hummm..amazing their busy life let them do that...but not anything else.

For example, I have a magic word that gets rid of my daughter every Saturday: Sleepover. And just like that: poof, she is gone until like 5 pm Sunday(and she has a ton of fun too). It's easy if you want to do it.

Pugwampy
2017-07-02, 08:04 AM
Its so sad when the main person begging a game is DM himself .
Players have no idea how good they have it when a man kills himself to give em fun . Its a sad fact of life that some folks do not put DND first .

My cousin has a family and a job and he can make time once a week for DND .

Nobody has time , thats why we make time . 4 hours every other Saturday is not an unreasonable commitment . Everyone enjoys to party on Saturday so perhaps Sunday would be better ? Yes life happens but thats why we should have 6 - 8 players .

Its possible they dont like you much ? There is a heavy social aspect to this game which might affect the game itself .

Which part of the world to you live in Mr Cat ?

Jay R
2017-07-02, 10:21 AM
This is a good point. If you want a good group of good gamers, look for people that will put the game ''first''.

That's one approach, but not the only one.

I recommend that you try to game with people you enjoying being with, and accept the scheduling requirements that come with that.

If you want a good group of good gamers, look for your friends who are good gamers.


To many this is wrong or impossible....and that is fine if that is what you think. I would just recommend not even trying to game with such people.

Playing with my friends is far more important to me than having a fixed schedule. A few years ago I announced that I was starting a game, and instantly had 12 players. Scheduling a session was often difficult, and we averaged maybe one every three weeks. But we were a group of friends, and had a great time.


Of course the worst are the people who ''can't'' find the time to game....yet they did ''find'' six hours to play a video game. Hummm..amazing their busy life let them do that...but not anything else.

That's a false comparison. To schedule a game session I have to know well in advance that I will be free then. My video games happen when space opens up at the spur of the moment. And yes, that can happen at a time when I previously turned down a game, because I thought the yard work would take two days, or the fencing practice got rained out, or some such. No comparison.

If you can and will schedule a game on a consistent basis, and you have enough gamers who can and will schedule a game on that basis, and you're comfortable choosing your companions on that basis, feel free.

But I'd rather send an email each week out to find out if we can game, and miss several weekends, than play with people who aren't my favorite gaming buddies.

scalyfreak
2017-07-02, 11:03 AM
That's a false comparison. To schedule a game session I have to know well in advance that I will be free then. My video games happen when space opens up at the spur of the moment. And yes, that can happen at a time when I previously turned down a game, because I thought the yard work would take two days, or the fencing practice got rained out, or some such. No comparison.

And that's before we even get to the part where a video game is a solitary activity and sometimes after a very stressful and difficult week, not being around people is exactly what we need. Even if it is my favorite gaming buddies, they're still people, and sometimes that alone can be too much.

And they were my favorite gaming buddies because they understood that. :smallsmile:

VincentTakeda
2017-07-02, 11:53 AM
Me personally its not 'too much to ask'... its 'not enough to ask'... I'd be bummed if my game group had to wait 2 weeks to get together and were only able to go 4 hours.

FreddyNoNose
2017-07-02, 04:48 PM
Of course the worst are the people who ''can't'' find the time to game....yet they did ''find'' six hours to play a video game. Hummm..amazing their busy life let them do that...but not anything else.

I have a friend of mine who gets paid a ton of money for 20 - 25 hours of work per week. He watches a lot of political and animal rescue videos on youtube. Yet he constantly doesn't understand how people who work 40 hours per week can get all their errands accomplished when he with so much time can't.

I stopped over at his place one time last year as we were meeting people for dinner and drinks. He just had to check his email. Eventually I found him on his computer watching youtube.

veti
2017-07-03, 02:31 AM
Four hours every other Saturday is one of those things that sounds trivial to some people, but to others - vast. Anyone who has a job that sometimes, or always, requires working on Saturday, for instance. Any parent. Anyone who has to come from more than an hour's drive away. My last campaign ran on the basis of "one session of approximately 10 hours, every other month" - and even at that frequency, it would have to tolerate at least one no-show and a couple of people in and out through the course of the session.

I'll just leave this (http://www.criticalmiss.com/issue11/ManDown.html) here.

mephnick
2017-07-03, 08:52 AM
I'm hoping the retirement home is the new mecca of gaming, like college used to be. Ages 25-55 are a wash, but I feel I can get a steady game going just before I die.

Knaight
2017-07-03, 06:10 PM
To those on this thread saying "kick them out", I say "Good bye! It wasn't nice gaming with you!" - again, because I want to play with friends, and friends are always happy if you can join in.

"Friends are always happy if you can join in" is a vast oversimplification. People do different things with different friends, and who gets invited in the first place can reflect that. For instance, I formed a hiking group about two years ago, mostly out of friends. If someone wants to do a particular hard hike not everyone will be invited, because there are some people that won't be able to keep up (I love the Deer Mountain trail, and it's not that hard, but there's definitely some people who you don't brink to two miles of steep switchbacks at ten thousand feet). The same thing applies to RPGs, if someone is wanting to GM something at a pretty rapid clip, or they just don't want to GM for everyone interested simultaneously, they may very well not invite everyone, or ask people to leave if they aren't showing up anyways. It doesn't mean they aren't friends.

TheYell
2017-07-03, 06:16 PM
Could be too much.

I looked up my current group by going online and googling a roleplaying group in my zip code. We try to meet weekly on Fridays but with work schedules that sometimes means Thursday and we're experimenting with different game shops in the metro area.

If you're all set to host try finding if there's a Meetup group for gamers in your area you can advertise.

Darth Ultron
2017-07-03, 08:49 PM
That's a false comparison.

I realize it can be spun different ways, so I will clarify.

Bill is married and has two kids. Several weeks before the game Bill is asked if he would like to play. Note Bill is still married and has kids when asked. Bill says yes and is beyond excited and makes a character and talks about the game for the next couple weeks.

Saturday night, Bill calls about five minutes before the game starts: ''Dude, I can't make it I have kids! I must stay within five feet of them at all times or something might happen to them and I'm the only one in the whole wide world that can do this. Sorry."

Five minutes later Ed calls Bill and is like ''Dude I got the awesome super cool video game Total War 17! Come over and lets play!'' Bill, immediately drops everything, leaves his kids with his wife, and drives over and plays the video game for the next 12 hours.

Sunday, you bump into Bill and he says sorry for missing the game....then tells you ''allz aboutz his super cool time video gaming!''

Psikerlord
2017-07-03, 09:01 PM
A group of three players plus a GM is totally functional, and reasonable people understand having to leave an event that requires regular attendance they can't do. This sounds like a self solving problem.

absolutely this - 3 players & GM is the perfect group size ime.

Also consider roll20 or similar weekly for 3 hrs instead of fortnightly in person (meet in person 1/month instead)

Mr Beer
2017-07-03, 09:04 PM
No OP, it's not too much to ask, but if people aren't that invested, you will get dropouts because 4 hours on the weekend is a significant amount of free time for working adults.

My group does about 5 to 7 hours every 2 weeks at my place. 7 people total other than me, usually 3 to 5 make it, most confirm & mostly they make it if they say they will. I cancel if it's going to be sub-3 others and so far I've cancelled one game this year due to too many dropouts. So it's a pretty casual group but that's OK with me, they're all good people.

If I wanted to run an intense game which required fairly rigorous attendance, it would drive me up the wall.

Psikerlord
2017-07-03, 09:07 PM
Saturday is the Problem. Try Sundays or under the week (except Fridays). EVERYONE aims for saturday, thus it is the worst day for a regular schedule.

Under the week (except Friday which is similar to saturday) on the other Hand, most People do either nothing at the evening or have something regular going (like Sports or Underwater Basket Weaving Club or whatever). IF you manage to find a day for a regular schedule with enough people this tends to be very stable.

Sundays is a bit more attractive (since you are not limited to evenings), but also more difficult but by far not as difficult as Fridays and Saturdays.

yeah we do every thurs night for 2 hours via roll20, works well

Psikerlord
2017-07-03, 09:09 PM
I'm hoping the retirement home is the new mecca of gaming, like college used to be. Ages 25-55 are a wash, but I feel I can get a steady game going just before I die.

hehehe lol!

denthor
2017-07-03, 09:09 PM
3/6 players "I'll try to make it but can't make any promises."

Last session one of them didn't come because he decided to see a movie instead. But hey! That's cool! You don't have to give me any notice or anything, it's not like I spend most of my Sundays preparing these games. I'm sure it was a really good movie.

Let's find some new players! Should be easy in a small town with a tiny game shop/internet cafe that has plenty of MTG, warhammer, and Yugioh merchandise. Oh and a couple DnD 4e campaign setting books collecting dust in a corner. I checked. That's all they have. Why doesn't anyone in this town like the my kind of fun?

Guess I'll just introduce some half-interested friends to the game. That worked great last time. Or I can join the game my friends I know from back in highschool keep inviting me to as a player. Good thing I'm a big fan of getting high and drunk while I play and being rewarded for murdering things with getting to have sex with things otherwise that would seem unappealing!

Ok, done angry ranting. It's probably not as bad as all that but I'm just getting super annoyed with how hard it's been to get a good group together for the last 4 years up here.


Gee Run a Star Lord rouge type you CG suduces every woman for information. Sounds good to me.

You get invited to games.

I get invited when 6 people drop out then uinvited when they decided that they would rather play in a game they gate just so I can not play when my name is mentioned.