Your Favorite Silly Item from Weak Magic Item generator

[nickl_2000]

Pulling this out from a different thread because it deserves it's own. This is for items that you generated using the weak item generator found here http://www.lordbyng.net/inspiration

I ran into this

Compassionate Maul
Weapon (Maul), uncommon (requires attunement)
Wounds inflicted with this weapon cause no pain.


You literally smash someone with a maul and they look at their crushed hand, look at you, think hmmm that really should hurt me.




Phantom Quarterstaff of Teeth
Weapon (Quarterstaff), uncommon (requires attunement)

Damage inflicted with this weapon leaves no physical sign of injury, such as cuts and bruises, and draws no blood.

Once hit by this weapon, the victim cannot regain hit points until the beginning of their next turn.



However it would be even more interesting to have this (not generated, but manually combined myself)

Compassionate dagger of the Phantoms
Weapon (Maul), uncommon (requires attunement)
Wounds inflicted with this weapon cause no pain.

Damage inflicted with this weapon leaves no physical sign of injury, such as cuts and bruises, and draws no blood.



You hit them over and over again and they have no idea they are dying, until they out and out fall. This would be an amazing weapon for an assassin too

[jaappleton]

Hide Armor of the Nine Hells
Armor (Hide Armor), uncommon (requires attunement)

When in the Nine Hells, the bearer has advantage on saving throws against Pervasive Evil.

This is the most specific, niche piece of equipment that I've ever seen.

This next one is actually pretty creative. I kinda dig this one, especially for an Artificer or something.

Splint Armor of the Scribe
Armor (Splint Armor), uncommon (requires attunement)

This armor unfolds to reveal animated appendages that are equipped with writing implements, magnifying glasses, and book stands. The armor aids the bearer in transcription tasks: it knows 3 languages of the DM's choice and halves the amount of time it takes the bearer to copy any text, including spells into spellbooks.

[Jama7301]

Fortune Teller's Cap of Victory

Every time you are hit by a monster, you glimpse a random image of its future or past.

Whenever the bearer kills a creature they gain temporary hit points equal to the creature's CR.

You learn from the past and grow stronger!


Blessed Collar of the Sacred

Whenever bearer of this item receives divine healing, they gain an additional 1d4 hit points.

The bearer may increase their Lay on Hands hit point pool by 5.


Dang, I might give that to my Paladin at level 2. That's pretty nifty.

[nickl_2000]

Blessed Collar of the Sacred

Whenever bearer of this item receives divine healing, they gain an additional 1d4 hit points.

The bearer may increase their Lay on Hands hit point pool by 5.


Dang, I might give that to my Paladin at level 2. That's pretty nifty.


If you do you need to limit it somehow. If I got that, I would be doing lay on of hand 1 HP at a time per round for 1d4+1 each time :)

[Jama7301]

If you do you need to limit it somehow. If I got that, I would be doing lay on of hand 1 HP at a time per round for 1d4+1 each time :)

They sure would be efficient at healing themselves with that, since the 1d4 only applies to healing they receive. I think that's fine, since I'm not too picky.

[jaappleton]

What the heck...?

This is what I just got.

Ring Mail of the Pious
Armor (Ring Mail), uncommon (requires attunement)

Whenever the bearer shaves their head, treat this as a +1 armor until the end of the day. They must wait a week until they have long enough hair to re-enact this ritual.

[Quoxis]

Adamantine belt

Literally a belt that's indestructable. Never lose your pants again, and always have makeshift indestructable rope to tie opponents up with.

[LuccMa]

Some classics i confronted my party with:

Ring of detect fire (touch), Bagpipes of Invisibility. Those items are especially funny if you get your party to buy them from a very mysterious stranger, wandering around at night. The look on their faces when they identify those items is worth every harsh word you will receive :D

One of my fav items: Joke of the crazed alchemist. Read the idea in some thread, dont know where or when.
Basically an indistructible, auto-refill 4d4+4 healing potion that can only be consumed when the potion itself is nervous, aka in a fight or dangerous situation. It starts shivering and whoever tries to drink it needs to make a DC 13 Dex Save. If they fail, the potion falls to the ground and they can try again next round. It refills itself on a long rest.

This item creates really funny situations. Our rogue once tried to deception-scare my barbarian in the hope that the potion would become consumable because our barb needed healing :D

[Sariel Vailo]

Woodsman's Nunchaku of Deception
Weapon (Club), uncommon (requires attunement)

This weapon does maximum damage against plant creatures.

When the bearer attunes this item, choose a harmless object within sight such as a tea cup, a ball of yarn, or a hairpin. If the bearer is touching the item, they may use an action to transform the weapon in or out of this form.


Drunkard's Estoc of Falling Leaves
Weapon (Greatsword), uncommon (requires attunement)

The bearer always knows the direction to the nearest tavern in a 60 mile radius.

The weapon contains a resevoir of natural magic that can a sustain a cascade of falling leaves for up to 30 seconds. The bearer may use an action to plant this weapon in the ground and release this magic. While planted and undepleted, creatures within 10 feet of this weapon have half cover. A long rest restores 1d6 sconds of energy to the weapon's resevoir.

Healing Frying Pan of Twins
Weapon (Club), uncommon (requires attunement)

This item contains a healing node. Once per long rest the bearer can use the node and an action to heal 1d4 hit points at touch range.

This item is part of a pair of identical items. The bearer of either knows the location of the other at all times.

2: Mindscour Blackjack of the Artist
Weapon (Club), uncommon (requires attunement)

This weapon disrupts all telepathic communication within 20 feet. Psychic attacks are not affected.

The bearer may use this weapon to make colored marks on any surface. The marks will fade away in 24 hours.

[JackPhoenix]

Painstrike Hammer of Barbs

Weapon (Light Hammer), uncommon (requires attunement)

Treat this as a +1 weapon for 1 minute if the bearer takes 13 or more damage in a single round of combat.

After an attack roll, the bearer may use their reaction to add 1d4 to the damage roll and take 1d4 damage.

One word: ouch

And not really silly, but actually an instant MacGuffin material:


Alien Battleaxe of Strings

Weapon (Battleaxe), uncommon (requires attunement)

Once attuned, the bearer constantly hears the ongoing, utterly insane mutterings of an alien intelligence trapped inside this weapon. Should this weapon be destroyed, the being will be released.

The bearer may spend an action to permanently animate this weapon. Use the Flying Sword stat block from the Monster Manual p. 20. Also, the weapon retains any other magical properties. Once the animated weapon is reduced to 0 hp or unattuned, the weapon shatters like glass.

Those two abilities just fit together so well...

Also,
Fairweather Steel of Resurgence

Weapon (Shortsword), uncommon (requires attunement)

Treat this as a +1 weapon if the bearer has more than half of their maximum hit points

Treat this as a +1 weapon if the bearer has half their maximum hit points or less.

is pretty long way to say "+1 weapon"

[Isaire]

This actually works pretty well as a plot hook o.O


1: Adamantine Maul of Shards
Weapon (Maul), uncommon (requires attunement)

This item is indestructible.

This weapon is badly damaged. It is a testament to its former power that it is still serviceable. If reforged, it might regain its former power.

[toapat]

Weapon (Maul), uncommon (requires attunement)

An ancient mechanism is housed within this weapon that never configures the same way twice. Once per long rest the bearer can spend one minute to attempt a DC 20 investigation check to configure the device. If successful, the weapon becomes a +1 weapon until the end of the next long rest.

The bearer can use this item to cast the Light cantrip on itself at will. While lit, it deals radiant damage instead of its usual damage type.

its a neat site, but id rather just have the Goldfish-Poop modifier list, seems like a fun way to configure magic items

[Naanomi]

Pulling this out from a different thread because it deserves it's own. This is for items that you generated using the weak item generator found here http://www.lordbyng.net/inspiration

I ran into this

Compassionate Maul
Weapon (Maul), uncommon (requires attunement)
Wounds inflicted with this weapon cause no pain.


You literally smash someone with a maul and they look at their crushed hand, look at you, think hmmm that really should hurt me.




Phantom Quarterstaff of Teeth
Weapon (Quarterstaff), uncommon (requires attunement)

Damage inflicted with this weapon leaves no physical sign of injury, such as cuts and bruises, and draws no blood.

Once hit by this weapon, the victim cannot regain hit points until the beginning of their next turn.



However it would be even more interesting to have this (not generated, but manually combined myself)

Compassionate dagger of the Phantoms
Weapon (Maul), uncommon (requires attunement)
Wounds inflicted with this weapon cause no pain.

Damage inflicted with this weapon leaves no physical sign of injury, such as cuts and bruises, and draws no blood.



You hit them over and over again and they have no idea they are dying, until they out and out fall. This would be an amazing weapon for an assassin too
Reverse this...

Scourge of the Flaggelant: Acts as a holy symbol, healing spells cast with this item add your spellcasting modifier to the amount healed; though the physical wounds remain and there is no physical sign the healing has occurred, including the pain of the person healed which persists

[MrMcBobb]

I actually really like the synergy of this first one, it's not perfect but I quite like little quirky things like this (hence why I love this magic generator so much!)

1: Final Warpick of Intertwined Fates

Weapon (Warpick), uncommon (requires attunement)

1. The bearer may spend an action beseaching the spirits within this weapon. Roll a DC 20 Persuasion check or make a sufficiently impassioned plea. If successful, the spirits will sacrifice themselves so that for the next minute the next attack with this weapon will be a crit. The weapon then loses this property forever.

2. Once per short rest, when the bearer crits with this weapon they gain inspiration.


Shaming Blade of Strides
Weapon (Dagger), uncommon (requires attunement)

1. Any humanoid creature hit with this weapon loses all of the hair on their head and face.

2. Contains 1d4 unreplenishable charges of the Longstrider spell (1st level).

So much potential. You'd sure as hell need Longstrider after instashaving your Dwarf barbarian

EDIT:

This weapon was too good to leave off

1: Dreamscribe's Axe of Rigor Mortis
Weapon (Battleaxe), uncommon (requires attunement)

1. The bearer can read books they are touching while sleeping.

2. If this weapon is entombed within a corpse for 8 hours, the bearer may treat it as a +1 magic weapon until the end of their next long rest

Can you imagine this weapon!? It's so good! I'd personally love to be able to read books in my sleep as in reality that would save me so much time but the horrific gruesomeness of stowing the weapon in a corpse for 8 hours every long rest is just too good. I really want a barbarian character with this weapon so I can just drag a dead body around with my to keep my axe in when I sleep. Imagine the f***ing weird looks you'd get in towns if you just had a dead orc over your shoulder the whole time.

[Naanomi]

1. The bearer can read books they are touching while sleeping.
In a 3.X game we found a mask that let someone Craft items or run a business in their sleep. The party voted and sold it, but then the NPC we sold it to became a reoccurring NPC who ran a traveling Spell component shop in his sleep

[Sariel Vailo]

In a 3.X game we found a mask that let someone Craft items or run a business in their sleep. The party voted and sold it, but then the NPC we sold it to became a reoccurring NPC who ran a traveling Spell component shop in his sleep

Id have kept it. Very useful.

[MrMcBobb]

In a 3.X game we found a mask that let someone Craft items or run a business in their sleep. The party voted and sold it, but then the NPC we sold it to became a reoccurring NPC who ran a traveling Spell component shop in his sleep

"Someone cast sleep on me, I need to get some work done."

[PloxBox]

Malachite Plate of the Veil
Armor (Plate), uncommon (requires attunement)

Reduces poison damage to the bearer by 2.

The wearer gains a +1 bonus to Dexterity (Stealth) checks when taking a hide action.

------------------------------

Sagacious Half Plate of Mobility
Armor (Half Plate), uncommon (requires attunement)

The bearer gains +1 to Wisdom (Insight) checks.

This armor is 10% lighter than normal armor of this type. If it has a Strength requirement to use, it is reduced by 1.

I feel like this intentionally reversed to screw with people.

[Jama7301]

There are so many good keywords on this thing that creating your own magic item would be a breeze.

Some generated ones though.

Scarlet Frying Pan of Villains
Weapon (Club), uncommon (requires attunement)

This weapon perpetually drips the blood of a monstrous race, chosen by the DM. The bearer can speak that race's language and has advantage on intimidation checks against monsters of that race when the weapon is revealed.

Treat this as a +1 weapon at night when attuned to an evil aligned character.


Marquis' Mace of Solemnity
Weapon (Mace), uncommon (requires attunement)

Once per short rest, when you crit with this weapon it casts Command on its target with the word "grovel", DC 12

The bearer may spend an action to stabilize a dying creature within 5 feet. They cannot do so again until they have completed a long rest.


Mortuary Broadsword of Darkness
Weapon (Longsword), uncommon (requires attunement)

The bearer's vital signs, such as a pulse and breathing, are masked by this weapon and are undetectable by non-magical inspection.

The bearer may choose to deal Necrotic damage with this weapon and gain a +1 bonus to damage.


================================

I love this site.

[thereaper]

Mortuary Steel of the Artist

Weapon (Scimitar), uncommon (requires attunement)

The bearer's vital signs, such as a pulse and breathing, are masked by this weapon and are undetectable by non-magical inspection.

The bearer may use this weapon to make colored marks on any surface. The marks will fade away in 24 hours.

Quantum Greataxe of the Forgotten

Weapon (Greataxe), uncommon (requires attunement)

Every time the bearer takes a long rest, this weapon changes in appearance and function. It retains this property but any other properties are lost. However, it gains a new random ability from this chart.

The bearer may spend an action to attempt to ignite the old magic in this weapon with a DC 13 Charisma check. If successful, treat the weapon as a +1 weapon as long as the bearer maintains concentration on this effect, maximum 10 minutes.



Hm, really does get the mind turning.

[Lord Il Palazzo]

What the heck...?

This is what I just got.

Ring Mail of the Pious
Armor (Ring Mail), uncommon (requires attunement)

Whenever the bearer shaves their head, treat this as a +1 armor until the end of the day. They must wait a week until they have long enough hair to re-enact this ritual.I got the weapon equivalent:

Pious Lance

Weapon (Lance), uncommon (requires attunement)

The bearer may spend ten minutes paying honor to the spirits that govern this weapon, shaving their head in tribute. Once the ceremony is finished, it becomes a +1 weapon until the end of the next long rest. They must wait 10 days until they have long enough hair to re-enact this ritual.

Apparently enchanting a weapon takes three more days worth of hair than enchanting armor...

[Delicious Taffy]

I noticed the site has its properties listed on a separate page, so you can use them offline. The thing is, the sections have such strange numbers. Weapons have 175 entries, armor has 200 entries, and trinkets have 127. How the hell am I supposed to roll for these? Just taking it at face value, without picking and choosing, what combinations of dice would I even use for these numbers? Would a d20 and a d% work for 200, or is there weirdness there? What do I do about the odd numbers?

For the record, I've already created a duplicate of the page's code and increased the number of entries to 200 each, I'm just curious how to roll for the existing ones.

[Fayd]

Also,

is pretty long way to say "+1 weapon"

You could argue it is a +2 weapon when you are at EXACTLY half hit points.

[toapat]

I noticed the site has its properties listed on a separate page, so you can use them offline. The thing is, the sections have such strange numbers. Weapons have 175 entries, armor has 200 entries, and trinkets have 127. How the hell am I supposed to roll for these? Just taking it at face value, without picking and choosing, what combinations of dice would I even use for these numbers? Would a d20 and a d% work for 200, or is there weirdness there? What do I do about the odd numbers?

For the record, I've already created a duplicate of the page's code and increased the number of entries to 200 each, I'm just curious how to roll for the existing ones.

yes, a D20+d10 would work for rolling the 200 entry table, and for the 125+127 tables you want to roll D12 + D20, although to get it to work fairly i think you need to make the D20 function as having a range of -10 to +10 with no 0 face

[JackPhoenix]

You could argue it is a +2 weapon when you are at EXACTLY half hit points.

Actually, no, one property works on half or less, one on more than half.

[thereaper]

But a slight rewording would indeed make it very interesting.

[Fayd]

Oh! My bad. I misread. That said that small edit would make for a very interesting weapon.

[JackPhoenix]

Different small edit would lead to another funny result: it would work as +1 weapon except when you're at exactly half hp

[nickl_2000]

Different small edit would lead to another funny result: it would work as +1 weapon except when you're at exactly half hp

"Dang it, someone poke me or heal me so that my weapon can be magical again!"

[antipodeF]

Crawling Spear
The crawling things of the earth, such as insects, snakes, and vermin, are attracted to this item. When placed on the ground, such creatures will scurry toward the item like moths drawn to the flame.

"Dude, those bugs are really going for your spear."
"Hm? Oh yeah, they do that. It's magic."
"Have I ever told you that you're a little bit strange?"
"Not even once."

[OverdrivePrime]

These are amazingly fun!

Sentinel Wizard Hat of Healing
Wonderous item, uncommon (requires attunement), uncommon (requires attunement)

Faintly glows when creatures of a certain race (DMs choice) are within a 100 foot radius.
This item contains 4 weak healing nodes. As an action, a character can use one node to heal 1d4 hit points at touch range. The item regains 1d4 charges at sunrise.


Hold on a sec, gotta put my drinking cap on:
Drunkard's Cap of Vitality
Wonderous item, uncommon (requires attunement), uncommon (requires attunement)

The bearer always knows the direction to the closest alcoholic beverage.
The bearer's maximum hit points increases by their constitution modifier while attuned to this item. These hit points are lost when the bearer unattunes the item.


You never need them, until you really, really need them:
Desperate Boots
Wonderous item, uncommon (requires attunement)

The bearer has advantage on perception checks when searching for items long lost in the the Swamp of Oblivion on the Plane of Earth. (DMG p. 54)

[Lord Il Palazzo]

There was one the Weak Magic Item Generator popped up for me a couple days ago that I wish I'd copy-pasted at the time. The name was something like the Ghost-Hand Hammer. It was a light hammer that could be wielded in a character's missing hand. It really makes me want to play a one-armed dual wielder.

[Hypersmith]

Strange Bladestaff of the Visionary

Weapon (Halberd), uncommon (requires attunement)

Treat this as a +1 weapon when attacking Aboleths and other creatures from the Far Realm

The weapon does an additional 1 elemental damage based on the color of the bearer's eyes: (amber: lightning, black: necrotic, blue: cold, brown: acid, green: force, gray: thunder, hazel: poison, purple: psychic, red: fire, white: radiant)

this weapon is very anime, but would actually be great for the current arc of my campaign.

[Jophiel]

I like this one if just for the name:

Gehennan Orb of Friendship
Wonderous item, uncommon (requires attunement), uncommon (requires attunement)


When on the plane of Gehenna, the bearer has advantage on saving throws against Cruel Hindrance. (DMG p. 63)
Contains 1d4 unreplenishable charges of the Animal Friendship spell (1st level).


*drops rapier* -- "I must leave you now and return to my people..."

Skyward Rapier of Lunacy
Weapon (Rapier), uncommon (requires attunement)


This weapon falls up instead of down. Its weight does not contribute towards encumbrance.
Once attuned, the bearer constantly hears the ongoing, utterly insane mutterings of an alien intelligence trapped inside this weapon. Should this weapon be destroyed, the being will be released.

[Lord Il Palazzo]

*drops rapier* -- "I must leave you now and return to my people..."

Skyward Rapier of Lunacy
Weapon (Rapier), uncommon (requires attunement)


This weapon falls up instead of down. Its weight does not contribute towards encumbrance.
Once attuned, the bearer constantly hears the ongoing, utterly insane mutterings of an alien intelligence trapped inside this weapon. Should this weapon be destroyed, the being will be released.
That is one of the best magic items I've ever seen. It is absolutely getting put in a future game.

"We search the room for treasure."
"Well you find X gold in the chest, Y silver in the sack and a rapier lying on the ceiling."

[nickl_2000]

That is one of the best magic items I've ever seen. It is absolutely getting put in a future game.

"We search the room for treasure."
"Well you find X gold in the chest, Y silver in the sack and a rapier lying on the ceiling."


Just make sure you don't get disarmed by some battlemaster while not in a room. Then your rapier is gone forever.

[Lord Il Palazzo]

Just make sure you don't get disarmed by some battlemaster while not in a room. Then your rapier is gone forever.I'm picturing a jaunty swashbuckler type with his rapier on a string tied around his wrist like a kid with a balloon.

[Jama7301]

I'm picturing a jaunty swashbuckler type with his rapier on a string tied around his wrist like a kid with a balloon.

Oh gooooooooood.

Fantasy Lanyards...

:smalltongue:

[Aett_Thorn]

Shaming Quarterstaff of Security
Weapon (Quarterstaff), uncommon (requires attunement)

Any humanoid creature hit with this weapon loses all of the hair on their head and face.

Anyone except the bearer must attempt a DC 10+x Charisma check to pick up this weapon, where x is the bearer's level. Any attack made with this weapon against the bearer has disadvantage.



I just love the idea of hitting a Bugbear with this, and them losing all of their hair.

[Lord Il Palazzo]

Shaming Quarterstaff of Security
Weapon (Quarterstaff), uncommon (requires attunement)

Any humanoid creature hit with this weapon loses all of the hair on their head and face.

Anyone except the bearer must attempt a DC 10+x Charisma check to pick up this weapon, where x is the bearer's level. Any attack made with this weapon against the bearer has disadvantage.



I just love the idea of hitting a Bugbear with this, and them losing all of their hair.Ooh. Set in on someone you've knocked prone and watch them struggle to make the charisma check to lift it off themselves. It's like a poor man's immovable rod.

I just got:

Harmonious Chain Shirt
Armor (Chain Shirt), uncommon (requires attunement)
Attuning to this item takes only 1 minute.

No bonus or anything for being attuned, it's just easy to do.

[Aett_Thorn]

Chill Naginata of the Imagination
Weapon (Glaive), uncommon (requires attunement)

The air around the bearer of this weapon is always unnaturally cold. One's breath becomes visible, and frost continually forms on the surface of the bearer's hair, weapons, and armor. The bearer suffers no ill effect from being in extremely cold environments.

Once attuned, this weapon exists only in the bearer's imagination until held with intent to do harm. It becomes imaginary again after a short rest.



I love that you have a weapon that only you believe in until right before you hit someone with it.

"Don't worry, officer, I totally don't have a weapon on me at all, except for my good friend 'glaivey' here."
"Uhhh...sure, you just have a nice day."