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View Full Version : Need Advice: How not to be a hijacker



merc1987
2017-07-13, 04:32 AM
Hey guys! I'm been in a group for awhile now and the DM has taken me aside and said that certain group members feel I have been hijacking the game. Im a bit of an old hand and so can see how Ive been doing this without meaning to. Since then I've tried editing my approach but the players to me seem really passive, either having non game discussions or are consistently on their phones, to the point where if I don't speak up the game stalls. I need some advice as i like the game and the group and would like to continue playing.

Vitruviansquid
2017-07-13, 05:28 AM
Leave the ski mask and gun at home?

Joking aside, I think the most inportant thing is to establish that you are not indeed trying to hijack the game, and if you do so you are sorry. You might talk it over and ask him to tell you when to take a step back and let other players come up with something.

Of course if the GM or these other players are simply projecting their fears and neuroses onto you, then there's nothing you can do but look forward to a gradual decay in your relationships and eventual ejection from the game.

Lalliman
2017-07-13, 05:30 AM
There's a lot of possible explanations here, so I think we'll need a lot more information.

How many players are there, and how many feel like you're hijacking the game? Are the ones who say that even the same as the ones who act passively?

Do the passive players seem to enjoy the game the game without your stepping up to push it forward? If yes, there's probably a play style discrepancy between them and you. If no, there might be a play style discrepancy between them and the DM.

Either way, this should probably be discussed openly with the whole group. It's awkward having to confront people with things like this, but passing anonymous messages through the DM is unlikely to solve the problem.

Lvl 2 Expert
2017-07-13, 05:43 AM
Try to get the others to undertake action? When something happens, instead of announcing an action, you could try to ask for someone else's action. "I tie my axe to a rope and throw it" becomes "Ranger, save us!"

It's not guaranteed to work, but if you feel like you're already being cautious in speaking up and the game just comes to a halt if you don't do anything, it might be worth a shot...

TheYell
2017-07-13, 06:58 AM
Hate when people use their phones. I'm focused on playing myself, and it's just a proof of detachment.

GM may have to call on the other players to react instead of waiting for anybody to move. Maybe have everybody roll initiative first and then take them in the order of the die roll?

Grod_The_Giant
2017-07-13, 11:10 AM
Try to get the others to undertake action? When something happens, instead of announcing an action, you could try to ask for someone else's action. "I tie my axe to a rope and throw it" becomes "Ranger, save us!"

It's not guaranteed to work, but if you feel like you're already being cautious in speaking up and the game just comes to a halt if you don't do anything, it might be worth a shot...
This is pretty good advice. Don't order them, though-- request. "Wizard, this is your field. What say you?"

LibraryOgre
2017-07-13, 11:56 AM
Definitely on board with the "Don't tell them what to do, ask them what to do." It's a simple method, but it can be useful.

Another possibility, depending on your character... wander off from the party to do something... then let the DM focus on them for a while.

"While Merc1987 is off repairing the ship, what are you guys going to be doing?"

TBH, it sounds like a frustrating group to play with. "You're doing too much!" "But... y'all aren't doing anything." "But you're doing too much!"

Another good one (that I wound up using in college classes) is "Wait until last." Give everyone time to process and address things, and then take your action. It might take them a little, but give them a minute or two to say things.

Also, let them be wrong. Let them suggest really stupid things, then go along with them.

Twizzly513
2017-07-13, 01:33 PM
I agree with many of the people that already posted, in that I think that this is a group problem, not just a you problem. That said, it is possible you could try to take charge in a situation seeing that no one else is acting, then continuing to take charge. I'm not sure if this is the case, but it could prove helpful to do a self-check frequently to make sure you haven't continued to act alone while others' creative juices have just started flowing. I can be the same way sometimes in my games because I like to find solutions to things, and I found that by stepping back and looking at the whole situation, I could often tell if I was stealing the spotlight.

Lord Torath
2017-07-13, 01:47 PM
Either way, this should probably be discussed openly with the whole group. It's awkward having to confront people with things like this, but passing anonymous messages through the DM is unlikely to solve the problem.This is good stuff. To really resolve the issue, you need to talk to the group, and get to the real concern. It will be an awkward discussion. But try to restate the players' concerns to be certain you're getting to the real cause of the complaint.

Many of the other suggestions here sound great (and will probably work), but unless you know what the real issue is, you're shooting at a target you can't see, directed by someone who's been told by someone else where the target is.

Mastikator
2017-07-13, 11:09 PM
At my old group we had a rule, no phones at the table and no prolonged OOC or non-game related talk. People had taken time out of their busy schedule and to not focus on the game was disrespectful. If you needed a break, we all took a break together.

It worked.

Sure people ran out of attention span, but that's what the breaks were for. It worked.

scalyfreak
2017-07-14, 12:05 AM
At my old group we had a rule, no phones at the table and no prolonged OOC or non-game related talk. People had taken time out of their busy schedule and to not focus on the game was disrespectful. If you needed a break, we all took a break together.

It worked.

Sure people ran out of attention span, but that's what the breaks were for. It worked.

We had something similar to this with my old group as well. Absolutely no phones, and once we sit down to play, OOC socializing ends. We'e been doing that while we waited for everyone to arrive anyway, to get it out of the way before the game starts.

We discovered something amazing and unexpected (yes, this is very sarcastic): When the GM sets rules against non-game distractions, and against irrelevant OOC talk, the amount of fluff roleplay conversations between our character grew almost out of control. People in reality talk to each other about other things than the job they have to do together after all - look at a workplace where everyone gets along. If our characters are meant to be realistic and three-dimensional, shouldn't they do the same?

Some of the best roleplay moment I've ever seen or been a part of in my years of playing RPGs happened entirely by accident in a random "those guys are taking forever with their plot roleplay" IC conversation that someone's character initiated with another character, just because the players were getting fidgety.

goto124
2017-07-14, 01:24 AM
Yet when I tried playing in such a game, players didn't have their characters talk more ICly. We started converting OOC terms to IC terms. And when we couldn't go on like that, we just stopped talking and the game died.

scalyfreak
2017-07-14, 01:44 AM
If the players in a a group keep trying to have OOC conversations IC, and when that fails the game dies, that group has a very different problem than OP's issues. For one, if no one ever has anything to say IC, and the game dies when players are forced to try anyway, no one is even close to attempting to hijack the spot light, intentional or otherwise.

No, that group should have gone back to Session 0 and had a conversation about why they were there and what they wanted out of the game. And then moved on to what each of them were willing to do to get to that point.

Mastikator
2017-07-14, 02:10 AM
Yet when I tried playing in such a game, players didn't have their characters talk more ICly. We started converting OOC terms to IC terms. And when we couldn't go on like that, we just stopped talking and the game died.

That game was a zombie pretending to be alive, it was dead all along. I've had exactly the same experience as scalyfreak and as far as I am concerned IC fluff roleplay is the only way to play. Once I had my first taste of it I decided this was vastly superior and I was never going back, it didn't just make the game better but it permanently made me better at making characters because I had to think about what they had to say.

LibraryOgre
2017-07-14, 09:07 AM
New Rule: Everyone puts their phone in the middle of the table. First one to grab their phone outside of a break pays for pizza next session.

(Totally wouldn't work for my group, which is all parents).

Amphetryon
2017-07-14, 09:56 AM
What's the difference between using their phones and using their iPads/laptops? I ask because many folks use one of those things to keep Character information or Spell data. Indeed, using a spreadsheet to track Spells is advice often given on this very forum. It's not like one of those devices is less likely to be a distraction than the others, in my experience.

scalyfreak
2017-07-14, 07:55 PM
That game was a zombie pretending to be alive, it was dead all along. I've had exactly the same experience as scalyfreak and as far as I am concerned IC fluff roleplay is the only way to play. Once I had my first taste of it I decided this was vastly superior and I was never going back, it didn't just make the game better but it permanently made me better at making characters because I had to think about what they had to say.

Hear, hear.

It is superior! It also prevents players from getting bored, and makes sure the DM never has to worry about finding things for players to do. The IC Fluff does that, and creates side-quests while it's at it.

Ninja-Radish
2017-07-14, 08:39 PM
Sorry OP, but the way you're describing your group, they sound like whiny little b-words. It doesn't hurt to have an out of character talk with them before the game starts, but this doesn't sound like a solvable problem to me.

Maybe try playing on your phone all the time too I guess? Or look for a different group if the talk doesn't work out?