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View Full Version : Was my interpretation of this wrong? (quit a campaign)



Douche
2017-07-20, 09:36 AM
How do I delete/lock a thread?

Calthropstu
2017-07-20, 09:52 AM
I would have waited to see everyone else's reaction.l, but yeah. Obviously there's something wrong there. I have dealt with stuff like that before, and usually the thing to do is find a new group. That guy is being a ****. A gm enabling it is no good.

Kardwill
2017-07-20, 09:55 AM
OK, if this is player-GM dickery (as in, the goal was to screw you), and it sounds like it is : Then yeah, you were right to walk. Frankly, when I was 12 and played with scoolmates, it happened. We were young and stupid, and I thought that fellow players couldn't be mean jerks deserving only my scorn. But I've grown a spine, since. Nowadays, my local group is people I trust not to be jerks, but that kind of behaviour from strangers at a convention would be "coke accident" material (as in, I stand up to leave and "accidentaly" topple my glass of coke over the GM's pants, books and notes)

That said, there's an alternative scenario here : did you leave immediately, or ask the GM for an explanation? Maybe it was the setup for a "land of the dead" adventure, or such thing. Still uncool to do it without warning/asking the players first, but not a capital offense either.
So, if those guys were friends/people you trusted, I'd suggest to contact the GM or another player and ask what the hell happened. Maybe he has an explanation. Or maybe he (or the other player) were just vicious jerks (and if he tries to minimize what happened, there's a fair chance that's the case), and you are totally justified in dropping them like an overripe bag of bat guano.

digiman619
2017-07-20, 09:57 AM
No, I think you made the right move. The no reason to ever do that to someone's character. The only thing that even remotely makes sense is if they thought you/your character was a problem maker and decided to deal with it in-game, but that's still unforgivable.

Grod_The_Giant
2017-07-20, 09:58 AM
No, I'd say you're absolutely right. Even under the best interpretations, there's no way that should have been done without talking to you beforehand. And doing it at the very start of the session crosses the line from "cruel railroading" to "personal insult." Getting out is the right call.

Douche
2017-07-20, 10:03 AM
I would have waited to see everyone else's reaction.l, but yeah. Obviously there's something wrong there. I have dealt with stuff like that before, and usually the thing to do is find a new group. That guy is being a ****. A gm enabling it is no good.

I actually had already ordered food so I waited for it to be delivered, finished my sandwich, and then left. I said that you could put 50 people in a room and give them a year to think of the most rail-roady scenario imaginable, and they still wouldn't have thought of something more rail-roady than this.

I also said some personal things about the player, because I knew it was his doing & he's a pathetic person. I could elucidate, but I'm not going to. Just trust me when I say that he has a really sad life. My actual friends within the game laughed.

Edit: that is to say, I did stick around for a while. I realize I didn't actually address your comment. The other players spent some time trying to find a True Resurrection. I'm pretty confident from the DM's demeanor & their body language that this was intended as a "**** you" though.

Lord Torath
2017-07-20, 10:04 AM
From what you've said, it sounds like a crappy way to kill your character and get you to leave. Could it have been a meaningful part of the campaign? Not enough information to tell. Did you ask the DM if he had a particular reason for killing your character off? Did you ask about making a replacement character? How did the other sleeping characters' players react to your PC being killed off unceremoniously? To get the answers to your questions, you really need to ask the person who actually has those answers - the DM.

Difficult conversations are difficult1, but are often the only way to work out differences in game preferences and playstyles. As D+1 likes to say, "Communicate, DARNIT!" Let the others in your group know what you like and don't like, and don't assume anyone knows the reasons behind your and your PC's actions if you don't tell them. If you're not having fun, no one will know unless you tell them. But communicate respectfully. No one wants to listen to someone yelling in their face, or hiding behind sarcastic barbs. Avoid insulting the other players. Those just make difficult conversations even more difficult.

It's best to use an "I feel" statement, and restate the other poeple's statements to show you understand what they are saying.

Best of luck!

1 Citation needed

goto124
2017-07-20, 10:16 AM
1 Citation needed

You forgot to link to the xkcd (https://xkcd.com/285/).

Tanarii
2017-07-20, 11:21 AM
Wow. What did you do to piss them off that bad? Because I can't see that coming out of nowhere.

Edit: not trying to blame the victim. I often piss people off just being me, or in the course of a long back and forth of bs. But you're clearly the victim here, given they made you completely waste your time. That said, even if it'd happened at the end of a night full of gaming, and was in retaliation for you being a complete Douche, it'd still be pretty ridiculous.

LibraryOgre
2017-07-20, 11:45 AM
Yeah, that's seriously ****ed up, and I think you were right to walk. I might wait a week and contact the DM and say "What the heck, man? What was that screwjob, there?"

But I can't see sticking around for that.

Douche
2017-07-20, 11:54 AM
Wow. What did you do to piss them off that bad? Because I can't see that coming out of nowhere.

Edit: not trying to blame the victim. I often piss people off just being me, or in the course of a long back and forth of bs. But you're clearly the victim here, given they made you completely waste your time. That said, even if it'd happened at the end of a night full of gaming, and was in retaliation for you being a complete Douche, it'd still be pretty ridiculous.

Listen man, Douche is the best username & I'm amazed no one took it before me

I acknowledge that I am probably at fault for being unlikable in some respects. Most of the source of butting heads, I think, came from me wanting to not mindlessly follow the storyline. We had a home base that I liked to spend session time on improving. Ya know; building relationships with the locals, making a name for ourselves (because the DM made it seem like we were still nobodies despite being level 13 as of last session), improving our fortifications and whatnot. Thing is, I got 2 other players involved regularly & tried to always have everyone involved - but the adversarial player, I noticed, he would just cradle his face in his hands and shut down whenever this happened. I've tried to reach out to him multiple times and he would just say he isn't getting involved in my hare-brained schemes, or something along those lines.

I also oftentimes acted as a comic relief. I would make light of a lot of situations or tease the NPCs in character. The DM often had issue with matching my ridiculousness. I would say something that broke the fourth wall or something, and the NPC would disengage from the conversation, essentially closing off that plot thread. Thing is, 4/5 of the other players were always entertained. I think the DM didn't like not being the center of attention.

Aside from that, my character is Lawful Good, and the last session I yelled at someone in character for slaying a defenseless prisoner that I had plans for (along with my 2 base-building buddies). It got heated, but it was in-character (clearly, because I speak with an accent in-character) and I didn't feel there were any hard feelings with the guy I yelled at... This was probably the opportunity that the adversarial player used to get me kicked out.

Anyway, this was a bitterness on the part of the adversarial player that I've sensed since I started playing. If I'm being honest, he would always have this need to look smart & superior to others, and I've never been the person to put up with that. The DM is the same way, to a lesser extent.

My butt isn't hurt because I got thrown out of a game. I just feel like this is bullying, lol... Which is funny because I have no fear of any of them. I'm just sorry that I wasted my time showing up instead of respectfully being told not to come back.

Tanarii
2017-07-20, 12:27 PM
Listen man, Douche is the best username & I'm amazed no one took it before meI know. It makes me laugh every time I read one of your posts. I've always wondered if you see yourself as somehow a Douche, or it's a big joke because you're really not at all, or if you just think the name if funny as all get out. :smallbiggrin:


My butt isn't hurt because I got thrown out of a game. I just feel like this is bullying, lol... Which is funny because I have no fear of any of them. I'm just sorry that I wasted my time showing up instead of respectfully being told not to come back.
Didn't assume you were butt hurt, so much as amazed and a little shocked at how extreme it was. It definitely comes across as the DM (possibly in conjunction with another player) using an in-game 'solution' to something they perceived as out of game 'problem' though. Which was your original question I believe. And IMO isn't really cool. If they thought you were a problem, they should have talked to you, or as you say asked you not to come back.

Unless this was the type of game where a PC is free to conspire with NPCs against another OC PC to have them assassinated on their watch? And this was communicated in advance? If so your problem wasn't the DM, it was that you let your guard down, or didn't take sufficient precautions against, against a PC who's player appeared to have reasons to take action against you. (Those kinds of games are pretty brutal.)

goto124
2017-07-20, 01:16 PM
Considering that Douche had been in the game for almost 2 years...

FreddyNoNose
2017-07-20, 01:29 PM
Wow. What did you do to piss them off that bad? Because I can't see that coming out of nowhere.

Edit: not trying to blame the victim. I often piss people off just being me, or in the course of a long back and forth of bs. But you're clearly the victim here, given they made you completely waste your time. That said, even if it'd happened at the end of a night full of gaming, and was in retaliation for you being a complete Douche, it'd still be pretty ridiculous.

My reaction is the same as yours. What did he do. He said he was going to leave anyhow so perhaps the dm wanted to end it before he quit. Could be some passive aggressive crap going on there.

Anonymouswizard
2017-07-20, 02:12 PM
Just to outline my thought process upon reading the open post:
-Okay, where is this going?
-Stealth killing PCs is legitimate, but you should give them a chance. They just manage to wake up and stumbled out of bed, roll for initiative (and make a DC10 save versus grogginess).
-a player letting another players PC die for an in character reason would be okay, if the group okayed PVP. Doing it for personal reasons is not cool.

While I'd say it's not 100% clear cut because of self-reporting, I'd say you're almost certainly correct in your interpretation.

SirBellias
2017-07-20, 05:25 PM
Sounds about right, based on the presentation. Seems like the GM and Player had a Grand Story that they wanted to follow, and any characterization or world development by others was throwing off their expectations.

Good luck finding a new game!

Darth Ultron
2017-07-20, 06:57 PM
That is horrible...

....like so bad I would not even do it, and I have killed A LOT of characters.

You were right to leave.

LaserFace
2017-07-20, 07:09 PM
Well, this sounds awful.

Kinda evokes a similar memory I have, although it wasn't a live game; it was one of those Neverwinter Nights servers with a persistent world. The DM, who I had no idea felt this way about me, just started tossing out a load of bull**** to punish me specifically. Was also completely ignoring all my DM-side messages, and when I tried to confront him afterward he took on a smug facade of "Oh your argument is just that you didn't enjoy it."

It was kinda poorly thought out on his part, though, because it was that DM's last session, and the Co-DM (who was set to take his place) saw what was happening and basically reversed everything. The perpetrating DM apparently didn't anticipate that, because he seemed very upset when he learned what he did was effectively undone.

Sadly, the game is sometimes played by pitiful people. Obviously, some players can grate on each other when their styles and approaches are different. I'd think moreso in a kitchen table game you'd be surrounded by friends, or people who are keen on becoming friends, and would opt to sign the social contract that states you're trying to play a game with friends, moreso than wedge people into Your Plot and wedge-out the "troublemakers" through this style of knavery.

That you pause to question yourself is maybe good; I think any healthy-minded person at least entertains they may have been wrong, somewhere. Maybe at some points you had done things to reasonably upset some people, but the response is stupid. If someone thinks you're being a jerk, the correct response is to talk about it like you would with friends.

Despite your time investment, I think you'll be better off without that campaign, anyhow. I hope your next one goes smoother.

Blackhawk748
2017-07-20, 07:24 PM
Wow, Double Grapple Disintegrate Assasination. I mean, its a valid form of Assassination, but you woulda had to have pissed someone majorly powerful off to get this to happen, and i mean in game, clearly the player and the GM didnt like you.

I sadly know a DM who would pull crap like this, he used to run Revenge Campaigns when we pissed him off (over quite literally nothing at time) and me and a buddy got really good at not dying in those things and it pissed him off right proper. Yes it was trolly and childish, but hey, he invited us over and he knew what he was getting into.

denthor
2017-07-21, 12:13 PM
Playing style differences

You : role play NPC building relationships getting involved and more importantly you got two others involved

Him: get to the action let me roll dice murder paper things. I will not be involved with your hair brain things.

DM: My friend wants hack snd slash I am bored as well I have this cool encounter let's get on with it.

Your two others : compliant with the game either way.

Lvl 2 Expert
2017-07-21, 12:28 PM
Did this come out of nowhere? No history to this story during 2 years (!) of play?

Some people...

Talakeal
2017-07-21, 01:04 PM
Is this the same game you have been starting threads about for the last year or so?

Because if so, you and the DM seem to get on each others nerves quite a bit, and it looks like he may have simply decided to resort to not-so subtle ways of telling you that he wants you to leave the group.

Although I was never this blatant about it, when I was younger I did similar passive aggressive crap, simply killing off what I perceived to be a problem player's character in semi legit ways until they got mad and left the group to spare me from forcing the issue.

Douche
2017-07-21, 01:35 PM
Sounds about right, based on the presentation. Seems like the GM and Player had a Grand Story that they wanted to follow, and any characterization or world development by others was throwing off their expectations.

Good luck finding a new game!

In line with that: in that same world-building, I ended up making a large donation to the Allfaith Church in our home city. Before I left, when my friends were trying to find a True Resurrection, they contacted the Allfaith Church, only for it to be revealed that they are super eeeeevillll now! One more middle finger to me, I suppose.



Is this the same game you have been starting threads about for the last year or so?

Because if so, you and the DM seem to get on each others nerves quite a bit, and it looks like he may have simply decided to resort to not-so subtle ways of telling you that he wants you to leave the group.

Although I was never this blatant about it, when I was younger I did similar passive aggressive crap, simply killing off what I perceived to be a problem player's character in semi legit ways until they got mad and left the group to spare me from forcing the issue.

Haha I can't believe you remember this stuff. That's why I like this board - people get to know each other.

That was all creative writing though, tbh. A fabrication. Hopefully this doesn't hurt my street cred, lol... but people have made this observation about me before. I would just make up stories to use as an example, which are ridiculous but hopefully illustrates a point. That's the same attitude I have in-game as well


Did this come out of nowhere? No history to this story during 2 years (!) of play?

Some people...

I could detail many of the times the adversarial player & I butted heads, but I don't want to bore people.

I will give you one recent example though. My approach was intel, then form a plan, then execute. This guy would always say "WELL WHATS THE PLAN!??! YOU CAN'T JUST GO IN WITHOUT A PLAN!" as if we're not playing a goddamn game, and we can't just use teleportation spells to escape at any time. I'd say "The plan is to get intel"

Then one day I'm all "lets go to this place where the enemy is and figure out what we can get out of them". He says "Oh so you're just gonna barge in and start killing everyone? What are you, an idiot?" I start to explain myself (particularly the fact that he is mischaracterizing me and that's totally not my plan). He interrupts by calling me an idiot again.

Long story short, he ends up saying "OK lets go in and kill everyone" (paraphasing). I said that's exactly what he called me an idiot for 10 seconds ago. He calls me an idiot again. I told him "that's the last time you call me an idiot" OOC, in a stern voice. He did not call me an idiot again after that.

So yeah this was a few weeks ago. If it wasn't clear before, I had already been planning on quitting this campaign for multiple reasons.. Primarily that circumstances would make it impossible for me to get to the game on time in a month or two, but also because I'd rather play with people that can come up with better, more topical insults.

And, thanks for everyone's kind words, but I actually am already starting a campaign with a lot of cool hip young & sexy people next week, which I was already preparing before this incident, and is much closer to home so it'll be more convenient for my day-to-day life.

Calthropstu
2017-07-21, 01:39 PM
In line with that: in that same world-building, I ended up making a large donation to the Allfaith Church in our home city. Before I left, when my friends were trying to find a True Resurrection, they contacted the Allfaith Church, only for it to be revealed that they are super eeeeevillll now! One more middle finger to me, I suppose.




Haha I can't believe you remember this stuff. That's why I like this board - people get to know each other.

That was all creative writing though, tbh. A fabrication. Hopefully this doesn't hurt my street cred, lol... but people have made this observation about me before. I would just make up stories to use as an example, which are ridiculous but hopefully illustrates a point. That's the same attitude I have in-game as well

So uhhhh... is this made up as well?

Douche
2017-07-21, 01:47 PM
So uhhhh... is this made up as well?

Well I suppose it's up to your interpretation. I sorta realized people would think that as soon as I sent the message. Usually my fabricated stories involve much more caps lock, if that helps you decide.

goto124
2017-07-22, 12:53 AM
but also because I'd rather play with people that can come up with better, more topical insults.

Your father smells of elderberries.

I'm glad you have moved to a better game with nicer people.

Mastikator
2017-07-22, 01:08 AM
I will give you one recent example though. My approach was intel, then form a plan, then execute. This guy would always say "WELL WHATS THE PLAN!??! YOU CAN'T JUST GO IN WITHOUT A PLAN!" as if we're not playing a goddamn game, and we can't just use teleportation spells to escape at any time. I'd say "The plan is to get intel"

Then one day I'm all "lets go to this place where the enemy is and figure out what we can get out of them". He says "Oh so you're just gonna barge in and start killing everyone? What are you, an idiot?" I start to explain myself (particularly the fact that he is mischaracterizing me and that's totally not my plan). He interrupts by calling me an idiot again.

Long story short, he ends up saying "OK lets go in and kill everyone" (paraphasing). I said that's exactly what he called me an idiot for 10 seconds ago. He calls me an idiot again. I told him "that's the last time you call me an idiot" OOC, in a stern voice. He did not call me an idiot again after that.

This seems like a super hostile game to participate in. I'm surprised you or anyone else didn't leave last year. Don't you and the other players have better things to do than sit there and be called idiots?

Bohandas
2017-07-23, 01:17 AM
Two thoughts:

1.) Are we sure that this wasn't a leadup to a plot point of "player 2's character was a dopplegangar/changelings/a bunch of short mimics standing on top of each other" (though this woukd still be dickish if you weren't given the appropriate spot/sense-motive/will rolls to notice it)

2.) Has your grpup considered switching to Paranoia?

FreddyNoNose
2017-07-23, 02:27 PM
Two thoughts:

1.) Are we sure that this wasn't a leadup to a plot point of "player 2's character was a dopplegangar/changelings/a bunch of short mimics standing on top of each other" (though this woukd still be dickish if you weren't given the appropriate spot/sense-motive/will rolls to notice it)

2.) Has your grpup considered switching to Paranoia?

Paranoia. Great call!

Quertus
2017-07-24, 04:47 PM
Well I suppose it's up to your interpretation. I sorta realized people would think that as soon as I sent the message. Usually my fabricated stories involve much more caps lock, if that helps you decide.

Your self-styled reputation has left me a bit slow to respond. Based on disturbingly similar experiences, I can only say that, if this happened as you describe, leaving was your best option.

Jay R
2017-07-24, 07:09 PM
So uhhhh... is this made up as well?Well I suppose it's up to your interpretation.

No, it's not. Either what you described happened, or it didn't. That's not something to interpret.


I sorta realized people would think that as soon as I sent the message. Usually my fabricated stories involve much more caps lock, if that helps you decide.

Not really. What would help us decide would be a clear "yes" or a clear "no" from you - the only person in this thread who knows the answer.

Getting back to the topic, stay if you're enjoying it. Leave if you're not.

Tanarii
2017-07-25, 09:13 AM
No, it's not. Either what you described happened, or it didn't. That's not something to interpret.



Not really. What would help us decide would be a clear "yes" or a clear "no" from you - the only person in this thread who knows the answer.
Yeah, that seemed like an unnecessarily cagey response after admitting to making stuff up (for reasons), and being asked if this was made up.

I mean, certainly it's interpretable in terms of being only his PoV on what happened.

GungHo
2017-07-25, 12:29 PM
Yeah, that seemed like an unnecessarily cagey response after admitting to making stuff up (for reasons), and being asked if this was made up.

I mean, certainly it's interpretable in terms of being only his PoV on what happened.

Perhaps my imagination is limited, but why would anyone make up a story like this? What would someone expect to achieve by doing this? I mean, if you just need someone to respond to your posts, reddit has bots that will do that. They even likely have a /r/coolstorybro of some kind somewhere where the bot responds with "cool story, bro".

Douche
2017-07-25, 01:10 PM
This seems like a super hostile game to participate in. I'm surprised you or anyone else didn't leave last year. Don't you and the other players have better things to do than sit there and be called idiots?

It was one guy, and I'm not going to let one guy ruin the fun for me when I had close friends in that campaign.


Yeah, that seemed like an unnecessarily cagey response after admitting to making stuff up (for reasons), and being asked if this was made up.

I mean, certainly it's interpretable in terms of being only his PoV on what happened.

People knew that I made stuff up because it was always intentionally over-the-top. My cagey response was in reference to the fact that it doesn't matter whether you believe me or not.

Let me give you an example. One of the posts on the 5e board is titled "(long post) Multi-classing into Rogue feels great for every martial class..."

So if I were bored I might make up an anecdote to get some goofs and spoofs. I might say something like "Yeah, I had a chum named Greg, he played a multi-class rogue. It was pretty cool but then he started stealing from me IRL and it made me a bit niffed. I wouldn't recommend anyone multi class into rogue."

It's a harmless joke. I can't believe I'm actually defending my credibility right now. So anyway, you can choose to believe my story in this post, or not. It's not going to change my life one way or the other.


Perhaps my imagination is limited, but why would anyone make up a story like this? What would someone expect to achieve by doing this? I mean, if you just need someone to respond to your posts, reddit has bots that will do that. They even likely have a /r/coolstorybro of some kind somewhere where the bot responds with "cool story, bro".

You're hurting my feelings, man. I was bullied into leaving a game and now I've got people questioning my credibility, only for you to tell me to deprive myself of human interaction because I'm worthless. Not cool, man.

TheYell
2017-07-25, 01:43 PM
People are questioning your credibility because you

a) admit to making other stuff up

and

b) won't deny making this up.


There's not much more you could do to undermine your credibility if you set out for that purpose. I don't think there's any point feeling hurt about it; people feel hurt you might might something up and ask our sincere advice.

Jay R
2017-07-25, 02:41 PM
You're hurting my feelings, man. I was bullied into leaving a game and now I've got people questioning my credibility, only for you to tell me to deprive myself of human interaction because I'm worthless. Not cool, man.

You've left out a step, thereby implying a cause-effect relationship that is untrue.

You said that you were bullied into leaving a game, after having made up stories in the past, so people asked if it really happened. Simple cause/effect relationship.

You have chosen not to answer that question, so people are questioning your credibility. Simple cause/effect relationship.

But nobody's questioning your credibility because you were bullied. That's just not true.

You can end this subthread whenever you choose to do so, and nobody else can.

We will drop this subthread immediately as soon as you write any of the following.
"Yes, it really happened that way."
"Well, it really happened, but that's an exaggerated version."
"No, it's just a hypothetical story to explore the right way to react to such a thing if it ever happens."

Any of the three would be fine, but please answer the question to close up this distraction, so we can get back to the main topic.

Douche
2017-07-25, 03:28 PM
It is the truth.

I don't want to talk about this anymore now though. Please let the thread die. Idk how to delete threads.

Beelzebubba
2017-07-25, 05:49 PM
You've left out a step, thereby implying a cause-effect relationship that is untrue.

You said that you were bullied into leaving a game, after having made up stories in the past, so people asked if it really happened. Simple cause/effect relationship.

You have chosen not to answer that question, so people are questioning your credibility. Simple cause/effect relationship.

But nobody's questioning your credibility because you were bullied. That's just not true.

You can end this subthread whenever you choose to do so, and nobody else can.

We will drop this subthread immediately as soon as you write any of the following.
"Yes, it really happened that way."
"Well, it really happened, but that's an exaggerated version."
"No, it's just a hypothetical story to explore the right way to react to such a thing if it ever happens."

Any of the three would be fine, but please answer the question to close up this distraction, so we can get back to the main topic.

You should really take his user name.

Because, anyone with the tiniest shred of common sense knows the difference between 'making something up for fun when the stakes are low and the exaggeration lets us in on the joke' vs. 'I've had a distressing situation that I need to talk about.'

But, here you are, hammering on the point like Judge Dredd, like he is on trial and he owes you TRUTH THE WHOLE TRUTH.

Hint 1: Nobody owes you anything.

Hint 2: the only people taking this thing off topic are the people like you with 'logical' sticks up your asses. So, you want this back on track? Stop posting. Leave it for emotionally functioning adults.

TheYell
2017-07-25, 05:58 PM
Because, anyone with the tiniest shred of common sense knows the difference between 'making something up for fun when the stakes are low and the exaggeration lets us in on the joke' vs. 'I've had a distressing situation that I need to talk about.'

At least three of us got confused here, Brainiac.

And I'd point out something to the original poster.

US: You're confusing.
YOU: You ought to understand.
US: We don't understand. Please say yes or no.
YOU: How could you hurt my feelings by being confused. Go away.

We are boxes of text on the internet. We have no visual cues, no tone of voice, no eye contact. We can get confused by ambiguous statements.

Not that it matters a whole lot, but when people tell you they are confused, it is not an attack. We're trying to get some direction. Please learn to take it as such and you will enjoy mingling with people more. I say that because I believe your story.

Knaight
2017-07-25, 06:09 PM
You should really take his user name.

Because, anyone with the tiniest shred of common sense knows the difference between 'making something up for fun when the stakes are low and the exaggeration lets us in on the joke' vs. 'I've had a distressing situation that I need to talk about.'

Yes, because people making stuff up all the time should just be assumed that they aren't making things up when they refuse to even state that they aren't, particularly after a cagey response that basically implies that the truth is being bent somehow.