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View Full Version : Gamer Humor Name your funniest Characters



TrT8r
2017-07-24, 09:33 PM
I posted this thread for all of the hilarious character and NPC builds out there. The most serious, the laziest, the most inept or the most skilled. Name them here! All of your OCD barbarians, half-orc wizards, and the like.
My 'funniest character' was probably my halfling sorcerer. He wasn't meant to be funny, but he was surrounded by chaotic or NE characters, and him, being level headed, smart, and LG, prevented the players from damaging and wrecking the abandoned town we were in. Like doing something as simple as pushing open a door that a PC tried to break open. Or recovering a poor box from a church after a player stole it. Or talking down an ENTIRE gang of bandits into a compromise.

Amaril
2017-07-24, 09:53 PM
One time, in an event at Gen Con, I was asked to roll for scores and came up with, I believe, a 17, a 7, and a 6. Immediately thought "welp, guess I'm playing a barbarian". And thus was born Caitlyn of the Hill Tribe, essentially genderswapped Abridged Goku with 17 Strength, 6 Intelligence, and 7 Wisdom. She had a greatsword named Friendship, and when killing people with it would cry "feel the sting of Friendship!" She couldn't pronounce the name of the missing general we were supposed to be tracking down, and so consistently referred to him as Kazoo Guy, which was about as close as she could manage. In the course of that one session, I managed to have the rest of the table in stitches several times. One of my proudest moments.

RazorChain
2017-07-24, 10:16 PM
Player#1 "So what's your name?"

Player#2 "Gale Merryweather, the elven druid"

Player1# "Sounds like a hooker to me"

LordSamuel
2017-07-25, 05:43 AM
Making a sun-soul monk, named Dio Brand, with maximum of JoJo references :D

TrT8r
2017-07-25, 08:18 AM
I had a Dragonborn barbarian who was angry 24/7, and he was mocked by a guard and thrown to the ground. By the time he picked himself up, the guy left and, being the barbarian he was, punched a wall. Crit fail. Broken fist and bloodied. He did it again later, despite his injury. He was horrible in any social situation but MAN he could deal damage, like , 12 damage per hit at level one.
God I love barbarians.

TheYell
2017-07-25, 08:19 AM
I came late to an online adventure and named my half-orc Orcbitch Bastardson knowing I'd be turned away.

Jay R
2017-07-25, 03:25 PM
I once built a TOON character for D&D. Ragnar Rabbit, the Hanna-Barbarian.

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In an Old West game, I announced that I was going to build a character based on a TV western. I showed up with Cali Yang, a martial artist clearly patterned after Kwai-Chang Cain of *Kung Fu*. I had fun inventing eastern-style proverbs while fighting hand-to-hand.

Until about four sessions in, when he washed off the makeup and revealed himself as Cal Young, federal agent, patterned on the disguise artist Artemus Gordon from *Wild, Wild West*.

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I once introduced two dwarves, Doli and Felix. They were out to avenge themselves against the dragon who had killed their five brothers.

You had to know a couple of other languages to recognize "Doli" and "Felix" as "Grumpy" and "Happy".

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In a game of original D&D, I rolled STR 4, DEX 16, CHA high, WIS low, and the rest low-to-average. I was considering dumping him, when the DM said, "That's a nine-year-old kid." So I went with it. He became David, a nine-year-old street kid who was a 1st level Thief. (There was more background than that, of course.)

He once took down a sentry by walking up sniffling and crying, and saying, "Where's my daddy? I can't find him. I'm cold, and I'm tired, and I'm hungry, and I'm thirsty, and I want my daddy!" As the sentry turned to get some food, the kid sneak attacked.

TrT8r
2017-07-25, 03:30 PM
I came late to an online adventure and named my half-orc Orcbitch Bastardson knowing I'd be turned away.

Wow. I'm cracking up. That reminds me of my friend's character, Billy Mays, the Paladin of marketing, but must people knew him by his code name, Anthony Sullivan.

The Fury
2017-07-25, 11:25 PM
One time, in an event at Gen Con, I was asked to roll for scores and came up with, I believe, a 17, a 7, and a 6. Immediately thought "welp, guess I'm playing a barbarian". And thus was born Caitlyn of the Hill Tribe, essentially genderswapped Abridged Goku with 17 Strength, 6 Intelligence, and 7 Wisdom. She had a greatsword named Friendship, and when killing people with it would cry "feel the sting of Friendship!" She couldn't pronounce the name of the missing general we were supposed to be tracking down, and so consistently referred to him as Kazoo Guy, which was about as close as she could manage. In the course of that one session, I managed to have the rest of the table in stitches several times. One of my proudest moments.

Ha! So I have to ask, did the other players start calling him "Kazoo Guy" too?

Thisguy_
2017-07-26, 12:14 AM
I'd say either my funniest character would have to be a currently active character, the wizard John B. Ternarius, whose manner of dealing with problems boils down to "Throw bees at it and see what sticks," making him a bit of a Dr. Bees-like character at some points, or a character I made for a one-shot. She was an older woman with a wizened face, and a witch-like appearance. Never spoke, communicated only using Minor Illusion, the cantrip. And she had the level of maturity you'd expect of a 13 year old boy. She asked various members of the party to carry her everywhere, and the first thing she said to an NPC (a maid) was, essentially:

http://i.imgur.com/9aCCQtXm.jpg

When that didn't process for the poor girl, she tried again:

http://i.imgur.com/6IVjWP8m.jpg

When, inevitably, this failed to convey meaning, she displayed an image of the maid, with the breasts heavily emphasized.

Knaight
2017-07-26, 01:56 AM
I mostly GM, and NPCs don't really fit here. With that said, this does give me a collection of somewhat entertaining PCs in the games I GMed, plus a couple of mine.

Silent Gecko Hunts Quietly - SGHQ was a monk with two main defining features. He could only talk in proverbs, and his single best skill was "improvise weapon". SGHQ thus spent the campaign speaking proverbs in a vain hope to be understood, ocassionally having conversations with other monks or monk-adjacent people who could also speak in all proverbs*, and punching trees and rocks into weapons to use.
Qaelynarius, better known as Nar - Nar was a really fun character to play, with a bit of comic relief. She was essentially a female Lenny (from Of Mouse and Men), but toned down a bit and made into a more comedic character. What really made her work was another character in the party who ended up in the straight man role, one Primus Ignacious (Nar called him Iggy).


*I knew the player well enough as a GM that the two of us could pull this off with entirely in character speech, while the rest of the table watched bewildered. It was great.

goto124
2017-07-26, 04:00 AM
I've played a penguin a few times before. Not a sapient or even a talking penguin, just a regular honking kind. The penguin managed to get into a bar, where it met a new player's PC. When the PC offered a handshake, the penguin just bit the hand. It's not trying to be rude, penguins are curious creatures and interact mainly with their beaks. Just like baby humans!

Come to think of it, this was probably my cutest character as well.


I mostly GM, and NPCs don't really fit here.

NPCs do fit here, especially if they were funny. Tell us!

TrT8r
2017-07-26, 08:00 AM
NPC's do fit, i edited the original post.
I haven't had many NPCs yet, but I did have a Dragonborn druid who was a BBEG for a swamp. He was funny when he interacted with the characters because the players thought he was a friendly NPC. He had told them to turn back or be killed before different events in the swamp occurred, but the players took that as a warning and spoke to him as an old friend, much to his confusion. He will be recurring, and if they speak of him anywhere, he will know, and kill them. Also, he spoke to the characters like they were idiots.

SirBellias
2017-07-26, 08:36 AM
Solomon, Totemist Kobold. Definitely my best idea.

He entered the party by wandering around the abandoned town they were investigating, shouting "Squaaa?" at anything that looked vaguely edible, and trying to eat it. They decided he would be a great pet after he ate most of their rations.

Later on in that session, everyone found a box with their name on it, and a letter explaining their gift. Mine was (paraphrasing) "You are Solomon. This is a letter. The cloak will help you talk to people. Don't eat it."

Lentrax
2017-07-26, 08:48 AM
I had a character who for reasons of being the polar opposite of the paladin I was playing was Evil.

During one adventure we had to retrieve a book from the tomb of a king to stop a vampire pack from overrunning us. When we found the tomb, he decided, as an evil wizard, that he should probably have the other objects in the tomb as well, for recompense for subjecting him to such danger for no reason other than to get free wine. Every time he tried to take one of the objects, he was stopped by Protection from Evil. So in the end he had someone else grab the stuff because it "wasn't good enough for him anyway."

He later stole nearly everything from the party, including everyone's left boot. He was thereafter rechristened the Left Boot Bandit, and the party had a heck of a time tracking a wizard that flew away with thier stuff.

Amaril
2017-07-26, 10:03 AM
Ha! So I have to ask, did the other players start calling him "Kazoo Guy" too?

Sadly, I don't think so. I don't actually remember what the guy's name was--it was something Japanese.

KorvinStarmast
2017-07-26, 10:12 AM
My gnome illusionist, AD&D 1e, 3 decades ago, named Psilocybin.
My table mates called him either "silly sibon" or "silly Xylon" (Battlestar Galactica reference) and the girl I was sweet on called him Silly Simon.

Everything he did, as the adventures progressed, was a con (and I spent a lot of time setting up practical jokes on the other PC's, though never during combat). (When we were in the dungeon or the wilderness, I was all business). My Ranger friend and I spent two sessions setting up a horrible pun based on "is that the Chatanooga choo choo" that only makes sense in context.
It worked.
All failed their saving throws against groaning.

Knaight
2017-07-26, 01:07 PM
NPC's do fit, i edited the original post.


NPCs do fit here, especially if they were funny. Tell us!

I can read a hint - and so here we go.

I was running a game where the PCs were all hotshot pilots of small fighter craft (in space). These fighters were deployed from a larger space craft, and this larger space craft had a support crew, some of which were pretty colorful. Notable characters include:

Mbunta Okoro - Mbunta was one of the ship mechanics for the fighter craft, and basically the personification of pessimism. Every mission, while doing pre-flight maintainence he would send out the PC with something to the effect of "You're a good man, I hope you don't die in the inevitable catastrophe before you". He was also very jovial by nature, which is how words to the effect of "You're a good man, I hope you don't die in the inevitable catastrophe before you" somehow consistently came off as encouraging.
Drake - Drake was one of the ship's janitors. He'd changed his name to a somewhat ridiculous mononym, had several large dragon tattoos, and was a thoughtful and even zen* character on his own merits who only looked more like that when compared to basically anyone else on the crew, except maybe Mbunta. My actual high concept notes on the character are "tattood stoner philosopher", plus him being in the ship support category.
Brianna & Gene Miller - Brianna was another ship mechanic for an individual fighter. She was ridiculously overenthusiastic and convinced that just about everything done by the PC of the craft she was assigned to was the coolest thing ever. The character had a notable vocal style of every line being spoken at about twice my normal speaking speed (which stood out a bit more than it normally would as I used a slowed speaking rhythm for a couple of the other support crew NPCs), and was generally a fun character who worked well with the PC she was assigned to. Gene was her twin brother, a staggeringly lazy mechanic who complained about all the work he had to do every time the ship got shot up, and who was a somewhat less notable character to the players who ended up mostly highlighting Brianna, the more fun NPC to interact with.
Brandon Lenoir - Mr. Lenoir was the closest thing to a captain the ship had, almost entirely because he basically took the position by force of personality and none of the characters who are nominally higher ranked (the PCs) bothered taking the position back. He was older, stuffy, extremely by the book, and entirely capable of fitting the archetype of the police captain chewing out the loose cannon protagonist, with all the bombast and emotion of a stereotypical upper class British officer.
Dana Hunter - Dana was the other ship janitor. She appeared to be a sweet, even tempered young woman - mostly because she was trying really hard to be that after having been a violent gangster in her youth. Naturally, PCs being PCs, it took all of two sessions before she ended up shoved into a violent hand to hand altercation (the party plus crew have no combat specialists that aren't pilots, they ended up needing them for a hostage rescue, and they got to make do with the party + Mr. Lenoir + Dana). This became a running gag, with the sweet, even tempered Dana protesting "I don't do that sort of stuff anymore" as the PCs brought her in to do ever more dramatic violence against space pirates, and the implied past she wouldn't talk about got ever bloodier as a result.


That game also doesn't have a monopoly on my funnier NPCs, although the structure of the established secondary support crew lent itself really well to it and so it ended up with way more than its fair share. Other notable funny NPCs include:

Rogue 4 - I was running my Modbots campaign, where the PCs were all early AI robots designed to be highly modular. The first session opens with them waking up on a conveyor belt, busting out of their boxes, and escaping a factory. Later they had "Rogue 2" stenciled on themselves, as a group logo. This all led up to a hilarious scene where they get attacked by a bunch of other modbots, EMP the lot of them wiping their memories, and then start stenciling in "Rogue #" on them to convince them of their loyalties when they wake up. One of these was the Rogue 4 collective, who ended up hilarious mostly because their formative experiences were that and being conscripted by the PCs for part of their little radio hijack operation in which they pretended a lot of rogue robot groups (way more than there actually were) were all simultaneously making demands on the city by taking over a radio tower and then making demands in several different robotic monotones. Good times.
The Phoenix - One of the campaigns I ran when I was about thirteen was a ridiculous crossover campaign involving a bunch of disparate worlds connected by portals. The PCs included a mech pilot, a small and terrifying alien life form, and a character with an artifact magical sword with the hilt of a phoenix. The characters all had four central powers that took different amounts of power to use, and the supreme power of the phoenix sword was to summon the phoenix. In combat, the phoenix was a really powerful combatant. Out of it, the phoenix was an immortal idiot thousands of years old, who had accumulated a lot of stories in that time that it thought would be helpful to tell the PCs, to warn them off of making mistakes the phoenix had made or seen. Thus through the campaign I had an NPC that could always have some story about the time they were a total moron and caused a hilarious series of events by being an idiot, which then ended poorly for them.
The Servant - I was running a gonzo fantasy game, where one of the significant antagonist factions was a cabal of necromancers. The game had a pretty ridiculous tone, not least because it was the same game that Silent Gecko Hunts Quietly was in, and The Servant fit this. She was a synthetic undead spirit made by stapling a few souls together in the hopes of creating a veritable monster, bound by a magical oath of obedience. Said souls included an incredibly famous and brutal warlord, a dog (for loyalty), and a battle mage with a penchant for massacres. Instead of a nearly psychopathic mage general at the head of a conquering army, they got a spirit that was a powerful mage, a master of the sword, and basically a friendly dog that loves everyone boosted to high human intelligence. The Servant was a recurring enemy, showing up in various forms in the bodies she created for herself, and bantering while fighting the PCs, making it abundantly clear that she didn't want to kill them and instinctively liked them.
An Octupus Saves Its Ink - I forget the characters actual name, but they were an assassin who ended up working with the PCs in that same gonzo fantasy game. What made the character notable was a fluency in speaking in proverbs that came from working with Silent Gecko Hunts Quietly's monastery, along with a fitting title. The character showed up for one scene, involving the PCs trying to convince them to strike now when he felt like going later, with an extended proverb conversation. Most notable in this conversation was "The octupus that inks the barracuda has none left when the shark arrives", urging caution.



*Not in the sense of being an actual practitioner of Zen Bhuddism (although I never established he wasn't), but zen in the more general sense that the word is used in English.

The Fury
2017-07-26, 03:16 PM
Sadly, I don't think so. I don't actually remember what the guy's name was--it was something Japanese.

Ah. I ask because I play a lot of characters that give out nicknames, it's a habit I fell into when I played under DMs that would make NPCs that deliberately don't reveal their names. Because I'm an awful person and I like to undercut the mystery/drama.

Usually if I come up with a particularly good nickname the other players would start using it too, and "Kazoo Guy" is pretty good! One of my personal favorites was in a fairly short-lived superhero game, a genre that encourages nicknaming. One character's entire power set was the ability to disintegrate things, and he had a genius-level IQ and was well-versed in a lot of disciplines of science. The party initially nicknamed him as "Mr. Disintegrate Stuff and Knows Things." When my character arrived later and was told about this she said, "...I think 'Doctor Disintegrate' is better." Pretty much everyone else agreed and started using that too.

Amaril
2017-07-26, 04:22 PM
Ah. I ask because I play a lot of characters that give out nicknames, it's a habit I fell into when I played under DMs that would make NPCs that deliberately don't reveal their names. Because I'm an awful person and I like to undercut the mystery/drama.

Usually if I come up with a particularly good nickname the other players would start using it too, and "Kazoo Guy" is pretty good! One of my personal favorites was in a fairly short-lived superhero game, a genre that encourages nicknaming. One character's entire power set was the ability to disintegrate things, and he had a genius-level IQ and was well-versed in a lot of disciplines of science. The party initially nicknamed him as "Mr. Disintegrate Stuff and Knows Things." When my character arrived later and was told about this she said, "...I think 'Doctor Disintegrate' is better." Pretty much everyone else agreed and started using that too.

...What about having your characters give out nicknames undercuts the drama? It's a well-established convention to have the badass hero give the villain a dumb nickname instead of calling them by their real, super-serious title. Shows the hero is too cool to put up with the villain's bulls***.

The Fury
2017-07-26, 06:27 PM
...What about having your characters give out nicknames undercuts the drama? It's a well-established convention to have the badass hero give the villain a dumb nickname instead of calling them by their real, super-serious title. Shows the hero is too cool to put up with the villain's bulls***.

In my own experience, the results vary. Some DMs prefer to keep a more serious tone and find jokey characters disruptive. I also fell into giving nicknames to anyone that won't reveal their name, not necessarily just villains. That, and my characters don't normally qualify as cool or badass. Other DMs found my nicknaming habit funny though.

Dimers
2017-07-26, 10:30 PM
My housemates once ran a LARP crossover between Gilbert&Sullivan and Star Trek. I played all the redshirts, one at a time. My best death: a can of soda being used as a prop fell, burst and started spraying; I jumped on it while yelling, "Grenade!!"

I've played a woman who got press-ganged as a pawn of the God of Poison, forced into helping the God find/create a poison strong enough to destroy other deities, concepts, even reality itself. She was ... not an enthusiastic participant. A familiar was imposed on her, to help the Poison God keep tabs on things. She sent it into mortal danger as often as possible.

I played a wizard that had a so-so relationship with reality in the first place, then got his mind bent during an onslaught of aberrations, went on someone else's dreamquest, and ended up becoming a psychic projection of himself.

I still have on tap a gnomish Batman for high-fantasy swords&sorcery. Just goes by "Darkman".

And then there's the goblin shieldmaster -- no weapons, just shields -- who specializes in running under the legs of whatever is trying to attack him.

I've played a half-dragon yakuza who determinedly believes he's helping people achieve enlightenment and happiness when he relieves them of their wealth.

I belong to the triad called The Forty-Four Siblings of Alabaster Renown. Our excellence is information gathering and brokering, including extortion for keeping our lips sealed like casks of fine brandy at crucial moments. The peasants sometimes refer to us as "clerks of poison secrets". In smaller settlements, of course, our knowledge may lead to us running the entirety of the underground, which is how I -- a screaming, yang-imbalanced, sometimes muddle-headed brute -- came to be involved with such esteemed persons as my Siblings.

Any society of people on a mission, no matter how worthwhile the cause or how pure the soul of the leader, will fail in its aims if it has no protection from the myriad infidels dredged up by the gods to keep things "interesting". The Serene Tong of the Forty-Four Siblings of Alabaster Renown did not fail to see this, nor the potential for good works in my anger and muscles and lack of parents, like the seed of black in the comma of white that is the sign of the true Taoist. Thus it was they took me in from the street and taught me what is good in life, and how -- with wise guidance and stout support -- I might achieve that good for myself.

So far on my path to enlightenment, I have learned that good can be embodied in vast stores of material wealth, which I suppose is why it is called "goods". Like the mutable Monkey, though, good can have more than one shape. It can also be secrets stolen from the hands and mouth of the wicked. Much informational virtue too can be accumulated, for most people are wicked. (Not wicked on the level of the sour violator called the Marble Raptor, or his ilk -- I simply mean wicked compared to the esteemable sagacity of my elder Siblings. They display the serenity of true enlightenment.) And good can be found in the marvels of alchemy, god-craft and artifice which the peasants damn with faint praise, calling them merely "magic items".

Good may be different for those of lesser life paths. I help them to find the good of proper reverence and awe and supplication. Then the good of detachment from worldly concerns will follow naturally.

In my years with the Siblings -- I will not say how many years for the number is inauspicious, but if you know your numerology then you will nod your head sagely when I say the number stinks of rotten garlic and regretted decisions -- in my time with my esteemed Siblings I have become a new person thrice over. I have learned schoolwork, and I have learned couth, and I have learned the Dragon's Glory way of battle. And while the dishonored, bitter orphan I once was (also stinking of rotten garlic!) remains within me, the new people wrapped around him have proven the potential the elder Siblings saw in me. I have done much to defend the Triad against the ocean tide of evildoers seeking to part us from our store of virtue, or even to prevent us from gathering it. I have become gilded by association with golden people, such that I may speak in words of burnished brass and listen with silver ears.

The unvirtuous are right to fall before me, and I speak not only of individuals and monsters. Some moons ago, I delivered to the Deputy Mountain Master the iron-fisted control of Pin'yang with one fell blow. I was honored to be promoted to his place, once it was vacated by way of The Twenty-One Day Explosive Poison Evisceration for his failure to draw in Pin'yang himself. I have been further honored in those months since. The people of Pin'Yang are just and kind, and they deserve the protection and direction I have given, just as I have deserved their gifts and services -- fine paintings and poems, beautiful craftworks in jade and teak, heaps of shining coin, lovers whose amorous glee would make a statue of Confucius pant.

Now perhaps I must put on a fifth coat of scales, for I face my greatest challenge: leaving the guidance of my sternly loving Family to walk with strangers on quests which appear a tangent to the accumulation of virtue as I know it. The Incense Master of Unicorn Precinct -- Right Honorable Judge Wanpei "Black Pearl" Se-lahan, who grows old and does not covet or fear my influence, who indeed was one of the original Forty-Four Siblings -- has been granted a vision by Snake. Wise Snake's short hiss speaks volumes of the world's fortune, and it says that this foolish dragonling should be elsewhere. I do not wish to go, to become again an orphan. But we all wish even less to offend the gods. My Siblings have given me what snippets of virtue might be most helpful in a new city with new friends, and we pray that my fifth coat will toughen before I can be eaten. (Although when I make my offerings to the gods, I pray not for myself -- I am strong -- but for the people of Pin'yang, who may be lost without a dragon such as I. Especially the rabbit I kept in court for his good smell, Precious Gaze. What will become of such little men?)

Virtue is in the red terror-mask I yet wear, bonded to my soul and therefore a truer face than one of skin can be. It is in the Right Way I follow when a knave seeks to evade my good and open heart. Virtue may be found in the awed kowtows of people exposed to a word of Dragon's voice, or in the dance of echo witch madmen called by this Shofar of Revels, or in the spirit-guided leap of my Quiet Blade ahead of my flawed hand, or the certainty of life at the heart of death represented by this Bleak Pine tattoo. I have found good in many unexpected places in the past, and now I must trust it will lie wherever I don't think to expect it in my future.

Got a sort of voodoo priestess who accomplishes Important Things by bringing powerful spirits into her body, later paying off the spirits by letting them live vicariously through her, satiating their hunger and excitement for things that only people with bodies can feel/do. Like reacting to all kinds of poisons and drugs, screaming her vocal cords raw, sculpting clay, being smothered almost to death, riding rollercoasters, being tickled, smelling gross things, wrestling, acceleration of about 4 Gs, frolicking, vomiting, "asleep" limbs, jazzercise, hanging upside down in a body bag on a line strung between two fifty-story skyscrapers ... whatever strikes the GM's fancy.

n00b17
2017-07-27, 11:06 PM
In my last game I rolled a bard with skills in oratory, persuasion, and bluff and played him as a lawyer. Not an good, upright defense or prosecution lawyer mind you, but a chaotic neutral, opportunistic, ambulance-chasing personal injury lawyer. He had a set of leather armor glamoured to look like a suit and a stack of business cards. Every time we came across a dead body or injured person, I'd leave a card on them, "just in case somebody's interested in compensation".

There was just one problem.

The DM said I could go ahead and keep doing the lawyer stuff, but this was a low-fantasy medieval world, and nobody knows what a business card is. Or a lawyer for that matter. So every time someone found my card on a body, they assumed it was a calling card of a different sort, and the victim had been killed by a serial killer. Since our party moved around a lot, the trail of cards did too, and soon the whole land was talking about the serial killer Jerry Callo, the deliverer of Personal Injuries.

Later in that campaign, some of the Lawful Goods in the party decided that my character was edging too close to evil and I needed to think about redeeming myself somehow. When they talked to Jerry, he thought about it and said :

"I think you're right. I've done things that I'm not proud of, and from now on, I will do what is good and Right. Like a Phoenix, I must be reborn, and so I will take the name ..... Phoenix Wright".

The DM didn't let me use the name. Still worth it though

LadyFoxfire
2017-07-28, 06:46 PM
Sylvie the Pixie: 6 inches tall, 7th level air mage, personality of a caffeinated 5 year old. She once made it her goal to steal the bad guy's horse, because he didn't even bother to give it a name (I.E. would not interrupt his villainous monologue to answer her incessant questions about his horse.) She succeeded, and named it Twinkles.

TrT8r
2017-07-28, 09:49 PM
"I think you're right. I've done things that I'm not proud of, and from now on, I will do what is good and Right. Like a Phoenix, I must be reborn, and so I will take the name ..... Phoenix Wright".

DM: OBJECTION!!!

Worth it for the pun.

GAAD
2017-07-29, 12:15 AM
Both NPCs, from different campaigns.

First was Arthur. He was a frequent minor quest giver, offering generous payment to deal with many threats against him. Of course, most of those threats were completely imaginary. He was a major conspiracy theorist, with a tinfoil hat and everything. He also happened to be a white dragon.

Second is Bridget Golden. She's shown up a couple times in my current 4e campaign (dodges fruit). Bridget is a doppelgänger rogue with a British accent, a wisdom of 6, a god complex, and ADHD. My players, being good little murderhobos, have managed to set off explosives in close proximity to her by accident on more than one occasion. They also hired her to botch a surgery on a nobleman with cancer so they could steal his land. After the second encounter I've given her stats; I fully expect the pcs to rope her into joining in an adventure or two. I just hope if she does she doesn't count as a DMPC :P

goto124
2017-07-29, 12:23 AM
with a tinfoil hat and everything. He also happened to be a white dragon.

I can imagine a white dragon miniature with a small, carefully folded piece of foil on its head :smallbiggrin:

sengmeng
2017-07-30, 06:31 PM
I made a warforged dmpc to be the party's healer. He was a homebrew class of mine (pauper saint, check the sig) and was basically an accidentally self-aware golem built by the gnomes to be a battlefield medic. They didn't realize that powering him with positive energy would give him a soul. He really was a saint, and eventually martyred himself himselfto save the world. After his sacrifice, we all just sat around silently, mourning. My wife (one of my players) actually teared up. He never needed the spotlight, was a moral compass without being irritating, courageous, naive, a little goofy, and above all, a decent person in a world that refused to recognize his personhood.

His name was Healbot.

TrT8r
2017-07-30, 09:12 PM
I made a warforged dmpc to be the party's healer. He was a homebrew class of mine (pauper saint, check the sig) and was basically an accidentally self-aware golem built by the gnomes to be a battlefield medic. They didn't realize that powering him with positive energy would give him a soul. He really was a saint, and eventually martyred himself himselfto save the world. After his sacrifice, we all just sat around silently, mourning. My wife (one of my players) actually teared up. He never needed the spotlight, was a moral compass without being irritating, courageous, naive, a little goofy, and above all, a decent person in a world that refused to recognize his personhood.

His name was Healbot.

:'( brings a tear to my eye to see a good Character fall.

sengmeng
2017-07-31, 09:21 AM
:'( brings a tear to my eye to see a good Character fall.

He took out a mind flayer colony on the world's moon. They powered their entire civilization with a magical gemstone with a portal to the negative plane inside it. He had a similar tiny portal in his chest to the positive energy plane. He ran into the room it was kept in, bull-rushing a mind flayer lich to get past, and dove onto the gemstone, yanking open his chest at the same time. Mutual annihilation.

They later murdered the wizard who told him it could be destroyed that way.

They found out his soul was reabsorbed by the positive energy plane, because it lacked the cohesiveness of a natural soul.

Bohandas
2017-07-31, 10:30 AM
The Phoenix - One of the campaigns I ran when I was about thirteen was a ridiculous crossover campaign involving a bunch of disparate worlds connected by portals. The PCs included a mech pilot, a small and terrifying alien life form, and a character with an artifact magical sword with the hilt of a phoenix. The characters all had four central powers that took different amounts of power to use, and the supreme power of the phoenix sword was to summon the phoenix. In combat, the phoenix was a really powerful combatant. Out of it, the phoenix was an immortal idiot thousands of years old, who had accumulated a lot of stories in that time that it thought would be helpful to tell the PCs, to warn them off of making mistakes the phoenix had made or seen. Thus through the campaign I had an NPC that could always have some story about the time they were a total moron and caused a hilarious series of events by being an idiot, which then ended poorly for them.

So kind of like the Wisdom Cube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5L0_6pi4m0I) from Aqua Teen Hunger Force?

"Hey! I am the wisdom cube! This one time three years ago, I broke my arm. I was informed improperly that my keys were in a throttling woodchipper. Alas, they were not. I shall never wear a cast again, the itching drove me to the brink of insanity. From now on, all my locks shall be keyless."

Knaight
2017-07-31, 04:17 PM
So kind of like the Wisdom Cube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5L0_6pi4m0I) from Aqua Teen Hunger Force?

"Hey! I am the wisdom cube! This one time three years ago, I broke my arm. I was informed improperly that my keys were in a throttling woodchipper. Alas, they were not. I shall never wear a cast again, the itching drove me to the brink of insanity. From now on, all my locks shall be keyless."

I'm not particularly familiar with that character, but that quote is exactly the sort of story I'm talking about.

Bohandas
2017-08-01, 12:10 AM
He was only in 2 episodes. He mostly told stories like that and dispensed aphorisms and adages taken from bumper stickers.

Anyway, back on topic, in terms of funny D&D characters I don't really have much experience with tabletop rpgs but I did once create a character in the Temple of Elemental Evil videogame who was an 18 int evokerbut used a voice setting intended f9r barbarians and low intelligence fighters.

Bastian Weaver
2017-08-02, 01:38 PM
I once had a couple NPCs in a superhero game, two private investigators who shared the same power that I called "passive metamorphing" - they had malleable bodies that could take any shape as long as someone beat them up hard enough. They were named Thomas and Gerald.

Somehow I always end up inserting NPCs who are parodies of local politicians. Then again, Ukrainian politics is rather funny.

One of my last characters was basically Plankton from Spongebob working in Gotham City Police Department. Officer Plankton. Sheldon J. Plankton.