101 clever store names

[MasterMercury]

Anything from local taverns to high-end magic shops. Fantasy theme helpful but not required. I like making my players laugh with the store names.

1. An Arm and a Keg

2. Eye of the Beholder
(Barkeep named beauty)

3. Make it Sew (clothing)

4. A druid's basket (vegan food)

5. The Giant Halfling (anything)

[scalyfreak]

One of my previous GMs always had a seaside inn named The Drowning Mermaid in his campaigns. We eventually decided it actually was a franchise.

[Kaiwen]

Terry Pratchett has The Mended Drum.
What's the opposite of a mended drum? A broken drum.
You can't beat it.

Here's one from Mr. Welch's list–Bloodbath and Beyond.

[Storm_Of_Snow]

Terry Pratchett has The Mended Drum.
What's the opposite of a mended drum? A broken drum.
You can't beat it.

It was The Broken Drum in The Colour of Magic, it became The Mended Drum when rebuilt in later books. There's also Biers, which is the tavern frequented by supernatural patrons.

[Ninja_Prawn]

How about The Hypnotic Pattern Tailoring Company for a clothes shop?

Taverns are always fun to name, too. I keep a list ready to use when I need one; the 'clever' ones are probably The Flag and Flagon, The Gateway to Elysium and The Warlock's Cup. Oh, and there's a real pub in my hometown called Back Inn Time, whose sign is a backwards-running clock. That would be totally fitting to be owned by a chronomancer or something.

[Braininthejar2]

My town has "the library" pub, named after a common euphemism used by university students.

[JAL_1138]

A large carriage turned into a mobile pub called the Flagon Wagon.

CMOT Dibbler Enterprises. Sausage-inna-bun, anyone? (Save vs. poison.)

The Frog Hair. "Finest there is!"



English pubs at one point supposedly had to have names that could be represented visually, for the sake of illiterate patrons. Hence the pubs with names like the Cross Keys, the White Hart, or the Beatles' favorite pub, the Grapes. Any critter name or object name (or pair thereof) can work. (I have no idea if that's actually true, but that's the story, anyway).

[Lentrax]

The Dwarven Biered. For all your mortuary needs.

[JAL_1138]

The Dwarven Biered. For all your mortuary needs.

Or The Dwarven Beerd, a tavern. For bonus points, put them in the same town and sow all sorts of comedic confusion.

[goto124]

What's the barber's/hairdresser's called?

[2D8HP]

The Media Res Inn:


That does it. My next game will have a tavern called the Media Res.


Let's stay at the media res Inn, located in the elven city of T'Vern?

Certainly!


Do we have to?

Whenever we meet there they always start without me.


Aww, I hate the Media Res. The best drunken brawls are already half over when I get there.


If it's too full, there's it's competitor, The On Fire Tavern:


It is always ok to start in a tavern.
as long as the tavern is ON FIRE.

[JAL_1138]

What's the barber's/hairdresser's called?

Harry's. What else?

There's also Curl Up and Dye, from Blues Brothers (the scene where Carrie Fisher is reading the user's manual for a flamethrower).

[goto124]

Harry's is the name of a real-life restaurant. Their beef is unbeatable.

I never knew I needed Leia with a flamethrower.

[JAL_1138]

Harry's is the name of a real-life restaurant. Their beef is unbeatable. But still, "Harry's" makes for a good pun as a barbershop.



I never knew I needed Leia with a flamethrower.

Blues Brothers is one of the greatest movies ever made. If you haven't seen it, remedy that ASAP. Brilliant comedy and one of the best soundtracks ever.
(The sequel, Blues Brothers 2000, was pretty crappy though—the music was good, but the rest of the film not so much.)


On the thread topic, another store suggestion:
Crazy Hassan's Used Camel Emporium. (https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Hassan)

[Mutazoia]

My campaings always had an Inn named "The Barfing Cow" (except in a "horselords" style campaign, it was "The Yacking Yack") Upon occcasion, I've borrowed "The **** and Bulls" from "the Rise of Taj"

A coffee shoppe named "Turn your head and Coffee" (only employs truely beautiful barista's)

A Tailor shoppe named "Sew much for So Little"

A butcher shoppe named "Red's Meat"

A pawne shoppe named "Hardluck's"

A Livery named "Gloo's"

[goto124]

A coffee shoppe named "Turn your head and Coffee" (only employs truely beautiful barista's)

I expected doctors.

[Mutazoia]

I expected doctors.

The barista's wear naughty nurse outfits

[Random Sanity]

Name for a blade merchant: The Chop Shop.

[JAL_1138]

I've made this joke before elsewhere on the forum, but if you want to terrify old-school players, have them find a business card for an architectural firm:

E.G.G. Architecture
Castle, Keep, Tower, Temple, Tomb, & Donjon Design & Defense
Ste. 756 Castle Greyhawk, City of Greyhawk
Ask about our "Acererak Special!"

[hymer]

An inn called 'The Rusty Sign', so renamed when the old metal sign needed a paint job, and the owner decided not to.

[Vogie]

Das Feuerhaus - Alchemist shop

Don Quixote's - Chain of general stores based in the ground floors of windmills

My Place - Local Pub

Lord of the Rinse - Launderer

Stairway to Leavened - Bakery

Avril's Livery

Pita Pan

Planet of the Grapes

Brewed Awakening

Legal Grounds - Coffee shop near the police station

Miranda's - Ambulance-chasing food truck

Ye Olde Stuffmart

[Largo833]

One of my DMs always has one tavern in the slums named "The Trough".

[Deliverance]

Brothels, groanworthy:

Slipping Wood (elves)
Rosie's Ole Hole (hobbits)
Take a Plunge in the Mineshaft! (dwarfs, literalminded)
The Sleeping Beauty and the Beast (generally depraved)
The Pit (sadomasochism)
Midsummer Knight's Dream (aristocratic)


Weapon shops, awful rhymes:

Spike's Pikes
Cord's Swords
Bagger's Daggers


Weapon shops, just generally groanworthy

The Sword and Board
Three Moves Ahead
Polearm Emporium
General Thaco's Trusted Friend
The Vorpal Bunny


Armour shop, barbarian

Furry Loins
Harold's Fashionable Hides


Armour shops catering to the fair sex:

Dame Esmeralda's Plate Accessories
Lightweight Leatherwear
Chicks in Chainmail

[Jackalias]

For bars I have Mictlan, the rising sun, and the gelded mare. (Bonus points if you know why the last one is impossible.)

[MasterMercury]

For bars I have Mictlan, the rising sun, and the gelded mare. (Bonus points if you know why the last one is impossible.)

I know. But I won't say anything.

Old rock songs also tend to work as tavern names

The Wayward son

The lightning's hand

Hell's bells

The hardest mile

Devil's Dance Floor

The Little Green Bag

[Random Sanity]

If you're into fourth-wall humor:

Cobbler's shop - Five Foot Step
Bakery - Roll for Initiative

[Bohandas]

English pubs at one point supposedly had to have names that could be represented visually, for the sake of illiterate patrons. Hence the pubs with names like the Cross Keys, the White Hart, or the Beatles' favorite pub, the Grapes. Any critter name or object name (or pair thereof) can work. (I have no idea if that's actually true, but that's the story, anyway).

A few risque ones with non risque signs, so I'm just gonna describe what's on the sign

84.) the sign shows a juggling rooster

85.) The sign depicts a beaver bisected down the middle by an axe

86.) the sign shows a rooster and a cat

87.) The sign shows a giant dressed as a detective

[TeChameleon]

I like The Sword and Board, but wouldn't it work better as a combination weapons shop/inn? :smalltongue:

Girded Loins- two separate shops, actually, in radically different trades, but both liked the name and both refuse to give it up, causing considerable confusion in town- the first is a butcher's shop, the second sells armour.

The Andout Inn- the cheapie dive on the wrong side of the tracks. The owner insists that it is 'The Andout Inn', most of the locals put the 'inn' first.

The Smoking Crater- the ironically-named alchemist's shop; it hasn't blown up once since they named it that, much to the frustration of the guild leader with aspirations towards insurance fraud.

Go Jump off a Clef!- music shop with a particularly surly owner.

Interplanter Travel- druid-owned gardening/farm supply shop.

The One with the Stuff- they told Thrud that he couldn't open a store called that. Turns out that the retired half-orc barbarian was shrewder than anyone thought, since his store is asked for by name by every barbarian traveller to pass through the city gates, and a lot of the fighters.

[Bohandas]

95.) Another risque pun tavern sign this one's sign shows a virginal young woman from the neck up

[ElChad]

96 ) The Wight Stuff, a Necromancer's one stop shop for all things Necromancy

[Vogie]

I like The Sword and Board, but wouldn't it work better as a combination weapons shop/inn? :smalltongue:


I would love to see an inn on a cliff with a Gryphon aviary/airfield called Soared & Board

[Fable Wright]

I would love to see an inn on a cliff with a Gryphon aviary/airfield called Soared & Board

Why stop there? A construction company specializing in floating buildings, the Soared & Bored.

[Lentrax]

Why stop there? A construction company specializing in floating buildings, the Soared & Bored.

But wait! There's more! The inpatient clinic for diseased thrill seekers:

The Sored and Bored.

[Vogie]

Why stop there? A construction company specializing in floating buildings, the Soared & Bored.

What about airships and drilling platforms? Soaring & Boring

Pig-themed Beachside inn? Shored and Boared

Sleepy general store next to a shallow point of a river? Snored and Ford

[Âmesang]

Bazaar of the Bizarre seems classic.

Also the Monkey Island fan in me wants some sort of "S.C.U.M.M. Bar."

GUYBRUSH: "What is in that grog stuff anyway?"

PIRATE #2: "Grog is a secret mixure of which contains the following:"
PIRATE #1: "Kerosene,"
PIRATE #2: "Glycol acid,"
PIRATE #3: "Artificial sweeteners,"
PIRATE #1: "Sulfuric acid,"
PIRATE #2: "Rum,"
PIRATE #3: "Acetone,"
PIRATE #1: "Red dye #2,"
PIRATE #2: "Scumm,"
PIRATE #3: "Axle grease,"
PIRATE #1: "Battery acid,"
PIRATE #2: "And/or pepperoni."

[Sinewmire]

Yorplais Ormein's a sleazy motel that charges by the hour.

Every Little Thing She Does for a magic shop.

The Cannery for an Armoursmiths.

Maybe the assassin's guild would advertise as holistic stress relief, like a meditation class?

[Balyano]

I've always been a fan of Bloodbath and Beyond, but my players generally went for the much cheaper Warmart, but generally end up getting caught shoplifting and get into a fight with the elderly armor clad greeters.

[EccentricCircle]

One of my towns has a general store run by messrs Hale and Welmet. Unfortunately they had a falling out, and Hale left to open a grocery shop with Mr Hearty.

Across the street from them are the premises of Swann and Soforth, solicitors to the crown.

The front for the local thieves guild is of course the pawn shop of messrs Bracken and Entring.

In another game my players took down a crime syndicate and decided that rather than doing it for treasure or reward they would instead take control of the seedy tavern, gambling den and house of ill repute which had been the gangs base. They renamed it the "Pair o'Dice"

In yet another game, this time in a middle eastern setting, a player asked the local information broker what his name was, and took him at his word when he said "my name Hassar Price". He's been called that ever since, because its not as though he wants anyone to know his real name...