Neon Knight
2007-08-10, 12:11 AM
I was recently brainstorming, attempting to come up with some interesting character concepts. Something that went beyond the simple "Bob was a fighter, his father was a fighter, and his great grandfather was a fighter, and he's gonna be the best fighter in the whole wide world!"
I came up with two ideas.
First Concept
The first one involved a musical prodigy. The parents were a pair of traveling musicians who owned their own fair, moving from city to city performing to earn their living. Their daughter turned out to possess talent as a violinist, and as such they took some of their hard earned cash and got a little violin for her to play.
On one go between two cities, as the fair slogged through the swamp, the child wandered off into the swamp. Although they searched long and hard, she was not found. The proud parents despaired.
What happened was that the girl had plopped down on a tree stump and began to play. The sound attracted a nearby hag. Soul entranced by the music, the hag enspelled the girl and forced her to come live in her cottage and play music for her. Years passed with the girl sitting glassy eyed on a stool, playing endlessly for the hag.
The way the first concept would work was that the party I joined would find and slay the hag and thus free the character, who would come out of her enchantment horrifically confused. She had basically gone to sleep a 12 year old girl and woke up an 18 year old young woman. Please note that this does not mean she has the mind of a child.
As you can guess, the first concept would be a straight bard. Nothing complicated crunchwise.
The main objective or point behind the first concept would be, of course, to find her family. In the meantime, she could follow the intrepid adventurers and try to get used to her new life.
Second Concept
The second involved an ancient hobgoblin. Once he was great and feared. In his youth, he had been a commander and had lead his tribesmen to victory after bloody victory. He was famous for executing anyone who surrendered to him in battle by burning them at the stake. How many times had he sat before a shrieking flame enshrouded figure and laughed at the pain he caused! The fire, of course, was the means to an end. The old hobgoblin was a sadist at heart, enjoying the rendering of harm upon others.
The old soldier had finally reached the age were he could not contribute to the clan anymore; as is expected among hobgoblins, he choose to end his life in a way that would benefit the clan. He allowed himself to be a sacrifice for the adepts, the dark cultists of the tribe. Unfortunately, the adepts made a grave error in their ritual. Intending to open a communion with the Nine Hells, they accidentally opened a gate to the plane of fire. A burning dijinn lord stepped through. The creature, delighting in mayhem in chaos spread havoc before seizing the old hobgoblin and dragging him back into the plane.
As the adepts stood, singed on the material plane, the dijinn lord used his magic to reshape and reforge the old hobgoblin. As fire seared him and flames ate him, the dijinn used his magic to alter the hobgoblin. The ancient warrior emerged from the portal vastly changed. His youth had been restored, but that was not the only alteration the dijinn lord had performed. His skin was a ruddy red, his formerly gray hair black like charred wood, his eyes burning like fire. He had become a fire hobgoblin.
In addition to profound physical alterations, he had also had a massive change in personality. Where before he had been devoted to his clan and willing to do anything to further its glory, he now felt no such desire. He felt aimless and troubled, no longer devoted to the clan and no longer enjoying the infliction of pain upon others. (Alignment change from LE to CN.)
Unsure of what to do, the hobgoblins stuck to code; they made him stand watch that evening. As night fell, the sentries were given torches. When the old warrior forged anew received his, something happened. His eyes light up as he watched the dancing flames, as they had in the old days when his enemies screamed for mercy.
He set flame to the barracks, just to watch the fire get bigger, just to watch it burn. He laughed and he laughed as his tribesmen rushed about trying to put out the fire. For the first time in his life, he felt truly alive. His spirit soared with the rising flame. Taking his leave of the clan, he went abroad as a flame wielding mercenary.
The second concept would take levels of Fighter with the Wild talent Feat, eventually heading into Pyrokineticist and destroying things with fire.
The main point of the second concept is twofold: Is the alignment change forced or real? Does the hobgoblin, finally experiencing the burning pain of his victims, truly repent for his horrid life? Or is this change forced upon him by the dijinn? He'd also try to philosophize about fire and its meaning, which could be fun.
That was a long explanation of the concepts, but it was necessary, for I need to ask this question:
Do these concepts hog the spotlight too much?
You see, I submitted both to games on a PbP board I frequent, and both came back with a big REJECTED! sticker on them. The reason? Both Dms said that the concept was too far out, too implausible, and that it stole the spotlight. They feared that if I played these characters in their games, they would end up hogging all the screen time and none of the other PCs would get to do anything.
I kinda liked both of these concepts, and was wondering if this was true? are they really so overbearing as to be unplayable? Is there some way I could cut back on them?
I came up with two ideas.
First Concept
The first one involved a musical prodigy. The parents were a pair of traveling musicians who owned their own fair, moving from city to city performing to earn their living. Their daughter turned out to possess talent as a violinist, and as such they took some of their hard earned cash and got a little violin for her to play.
On one go between two cities, as the fair slogged through the swamp, the child wandered off into the swamp. Although they searched long and hard, she was not found. The proud parents despaired.
What happened was that the girl had plopped down on a tree stump and began to play. The sound attracted a nearby hag. Soul entranced by the music, the hag enspelled the girl and forced her to come live in her cottage and play music for her. Years passed with the girl sitting glassy eyed on a stool, playing endlessly for the hag.
The way the first concept would work was that the party I joined would find and slay the hag and thus free the character, who would come out of her enchantment horrifically confused. She had basically gone to sleep a 12 year old girl and woke up an 18 year old young woman. Please note that this does not mean she has the mind of a child.
As you can guess, the first concept would be a straight bard. Nothing complicated crunchwise.
The main objective or point behind the first concept would be, of course, to find her family. In the meantime, she could follow the intrepid adventurers and try to get used to her new life.
Second Concept
The second involved an ancient hobgoblin. Once he was great and feared. In his youth, he had been a commander and had lead his tribesmen to victory after bloody victory. He was famous for executing anyone who surrendered to him in battle by burning them at the stake. How many times had he sat before a shrieking flame enshrouded figure and laughed at the pain he caused! The fire, of course, was the means to an end. The old hobgoblin was a sadist at heart, enjoying the rendering of harm upon others.
The old soldier had finally reached the age were he could not contribute to the clan anymore; as is expected among hobgoblins, he choose to end his life in a way that would benefit the clan. He allowed himself to be a sacrifice for the adepts, the dark cultists of the tribe. Unfortunately, the adepts made a grave error in their ritual. Intending to open a communion with the Nine Hells, they accidentally opened a gate to the plane of fire. A burning dijinn lord stepped through. The creature, delighting in mayhem in chaos spread havoc before seizing the old hobgoblin and dragging him back into the plane.
As the adepts stood, singed on the material plane, the dijinn lord used his magic to reshape and reforge the old hobgoblin. As fire seared him and flames ate him, the dijinn used his magic to alter the hobgoblin. The ancient warrior emerged from the portal vastly changed. His youth had been restored, but that was not the only alteration the dijinn lord had performed. His skin was a ruddy red, his formerly gray hair black like charred wood, his eyes burning like fire. He had become a fire hobgoblin.
In addition to profound physical alterations, he had also had a massive change in personality. Where before he had been devoted to his clan and willing to do anything to further its glory, he now felt no such desire. He felt aimless and troubled, no longer devoted to the clan and no longer enjoying the infliction of pain upon others. (Alignment change from LE to CN.)
Unsure of what to do, the hobgoblins stuck to code; they made him stand watch that evening. As night fell, the sentries were given torches. When the old warrior forged anew received his, something happened. His eyes light up as he watched the dancing flames, as they had in the old days when his enemies screamed for mercy.
He set flame to the barracks, just to watch the fire get bigger, just to watch it burn. He laughed and he laughed as his tribesmen rushed about trying to put out the fire. For the first time in his life, he felt truly alive. His spirit soared with the rising flame. Taking his leave of the clan, he went abroad as a flame wielding mercenary.
The second concept would take levels of Fighter with the Wild talent Feat, eventually heading into Pyrokineticist and destroying things with fire.
The main point of the second concept is twofold: Is the alignment change forced or real? Does the hobgoblin, finally experiencing the burning pain of his victims, truly repent for his horrid life? Or is this change forced upon him by the dijinn? He'd also try to philosophize about fire and its meaning, which could be fun.
That was a long explanation of the concepts, but it was necessary, for I need to ask this question:
Do these concepts hog the spotlight too much?
You see, I submitted both to games on a PbP board I frequent, and both came back with a big REJECTED! sticker on them. The reason? Both Dms said that the concept was too far out, too implausible, and that it stole the spotlight. They feared that if I played these characters in their games, they would end up hogging all the screen time and none of the other PCs would get to do anything.
I kinda liked both of these concepts, and was wondering if this was true? are they really so overbearing as to be unplayable? Is there some way I could cut back on them?