The strangest thing that you've ever made into a weapon

[Meepwizard]

I want to hear the weirdest thing you've ever turned into a weapon magically or improvised. It's currently possible that I'll magically weaponize a mountain, so that's what sparked my interest

[ImproperJustice]

Like Gregor Clegaine?

Wierdest Weapon?

In 3.5 my rather desperate ranger once summoned a small octupus while fighting on a beach, and punted it into an enemy's face and succeeded.

Now that I think on it, that same ranger later found a magical wardrobe that was indestructible and later rode it down the stairs of a massive tower into a pack of Githyanki.

[Dudewithknives]

Big Dumb Barbarian grappler with tavern brawler, literally grappled someone and punched them with their own hand as an improvised weapon going, "Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself"

The next one is the reason people will family friendly, be warned.

In a Scarred Lands game, we were playing Horsemen of Vangal, (I was technically an Archer of the Steppes but your get the idea), we were trying to siege the walled city, and had quite a few captives at the time... so I used a catapult to fling burning babies over the walls and demoralize the city.

And thus I have never been allowed to play NE ever again.

[Kane0]

Well the party once dropped an instant fortress on someone, that went well.
There was also the time we planted a feather token-tree right in the middle of a tower and collapsed it
Weaponized gnomes have been a thing more than once, usually thrown or catapulted
We have used dwarven alcohol as poison under the correct circumstances

Hmm, what else...
Oh we found a couple magic doorknobs that when used made a door to an extradimensional chamber. We found out one knob was floating through the astral on the other side so we used that one as a makeshift airlock to dispose of troublemakers

All in different games of course.

[Sigreid]

In a Palladium RPG campaign the DM made the mistake of giving my diabolist a bowling ball. Covered that sucker with wards and went "bowling for morons".

He genuinely thought it would be useless.

[Foxhound438]

https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/20476346_1374481232628666_3844189118505945516_n.jp g?oh=50818456a669cc462efedd02012d5479&oe=5A14BB30

ryu ga waga teki wo kuro.

[Mortis_Elrod]

Like Gregor Clegaine?

Wierdest Weapon?

In 3.5 my rather desperate ranger once summoned a small octupus while fighting on a beach, and punted it into an enemy's face and succeeded.

Now that I think on it, that same ranger later found a magical wardrobe that was indestructible and later rode it down the stairs of a massive tower into a pack of Githyanki.

Were you playing with Legolas?

[Kane0]

Fun thing to try: Pay a couple gnomes to strap whatever wands, rods and staves you have available onto an aparatus of kwalish and rig them to be able to be triggered from within. You've pretty much got a tank!
DM discretion is advised

[Afrodactyl]

I used a bottle of super strong 'make you go blind' moonshine as an improvised grenade to blow up a tavern after a sabotage mission went awry.

[Solunaris]

Does the severed arm of a dead party member count as an odd weapon or is that par for the course? I've also been in a situation where my character (a 3.5 grapple monk) picked up the fighter and threw him as an improvised throwing weapon to simultaneously attack a Dragon and put the Fighter into swinging distance.

[TheMightyPotato]

I use the spell catapult to send drawers at my enemies. While saying go go gadget drawer.
And I ones threw a bed out of a tower to scare away werewolves.

Yea those are the weirdest I think...

[grumbaki]

An adamantine spork. Wasn't a pretty death for mook #386, let me tell you.

[prototype00]

Quarterstaff and Shield. Apparently according to some people it is weirder than anything mentioned here.

[Vingelot]

I once used my Mage Hand to tickle a creature that was climbing (I don't remember what kind of creature). The DM ruled that tickling didn't count as attack, and the creature fell to it's death. Yeah, not so strange I guess :smallfrown:.

[qube]

3.5 halfdragon fighter (and thus fire immunity). 3 juggs of alchemist fire (not bottles, jugs)

The strangest thing that you've ever made into a weapon? Myself.

(granted, it was an accident, some fire-rats that had the ability to light burnable material on fire or something. Very big bang it was though ...)


--------------------------

from my RP group before I joined:

an achorn.

and a sling.

... and a ready the spell plant growth (a spell that turns seeds into actual plants (and a achorns into full grown oak trees) to cast it as the achorn is flying ...

[Herobizkit]

Our group once used a cannon to kill a dragon.

The cannon was full of 10gp gems.

Times were funnier in 2e, though.

[Unoriginal]

Quarterstaff and Shield. Apparently according to some people it is weirder than anything mentioned here.

what. Shield and stick is supposed to be weird?

[Fredaintdead]

I was playing a Battlerager in 5e. Killed a Bandit with my spiky mailed fist, and proceeded to grapple the body (Tavern Brawler). I then used said body as a bludgeon to kill 2 more Bandits. Boltim "Tim" Battlebeard is not to be trifled with.

[Blindseer]

I had a wizard smash an orcs head with his spell Book after both fighters and the rogue couldn't kill him.

The same wizard did a triple flip (once again with the others failing repetitively) ((flips are a reoccurring joke in our group)) and sealed a hezrou in a pocket dimension before landing flawlessly.

The same wizard yet again used one of the warriors as a weapon. We were fighting a comparably small slime that engulfed said warrior, so an enlarge spell blew it up.

[Gignere]

Tasha's Hideous Laughter on a Young Red Shadow Dragon flying in a large hole. Dragon failed save dropped 600 feet took 20d6 damage.

[Tetrasodium]

I want to hear the weirdest thing you've ever turned into a weapon magically or improvised. It's currently possible that I'll magically weaponize a mountain, so that's what sparked my interest

So there I was a moon druid wildshaped into a bear, down the hall was the bbeg & their guard... .so I make some noises to get the kenku rogue's attention & mime a throwing motion to which the kenku thinks is a fabulous idea. Bear sticks his athletics roll to get the kenku in place, kenku rolls la 1 on his acrobatics roll needed to make an attack while airborn... bbeg makes a dex save to avpod the impending collison... bbeg rolls a 1.... GM decided a kenku jart does a d12 of damage & Kenku earned his redwings that day.

[Naanomi]

A spiked chain, for almost an entire edition...

[Zman]

Ancient Black Dragon

Killed it. Then resurrected it and lied to i(crazy deception with bardic inspiration)t about how the party and the dragon were lied to to put us in conflict. Dragon was directed at the enemy like a cruise missile. Granted, the party died in a big confrontation with the big bad, but the war was ultimately won post humously when the dragon started crushing the enemy army's supply lines and scattering their troops allying for the allied city states to ultimately unite and repel them..

[Sariel Vailo]

A fish like a 10 pound fish.gotta love monks and tacern brawler half elf the jackie chan story

[strangebloke]

Tavern brawler.

Grapple as bonus action. Use head of one guy as a weapon against another guy.

[Random Sanity]

Not me, but a groupmate of mine years ago ...

Tobacco pipe. Villain's eyeball. Nat 20. Ew.

[Asmotherion]

I'm not sure if I repelling blased the Cultist on the other cultist who was holding the greatsword or the other way around. Either way, the result was shish kebub. :P

Some other time, I used telekinesis on a storm giant's magical weapon to fight Tiamat and for some weird reason it worked.

Well, I always play casters so all my stories include some spells. Sory :P

[Scathain]

Idk if it counts, but I just recently gave a weaponized chair to one of my players. Loosely based on the Wyrmskull Throne from SKT, it gives him a constant Protection from Good/Evil, as well as at will Magic Missile and Thunderwave using radiant instead of force damage. He rides around on it Professor Xavier style.

[wilhelmdubdub]

In the kill house in the first part of curse of strahd someone set a bed on fire and I used shield master to shove it into a ghast and pin it and light it on fire.

[Rogue_1]

Playing a half-orc barbarian named Smash Face - 8 Intelligence, would be lower if I could make it ;) - and running through homebrew campaign. Investigating the burning down of a gnomish excavation site, while the rogue and bard were making checks, I made Smash Face gnaw on a femur or something. So, afterwards, rearguard of orcs charges in, and I just remember that I left my flail in the wagon we took to get here. So, what do I do? Scoop up my shield, rage, and charge into battle. Ah, simplicity. Anyway, three rounds goes by, I'm still at almost max health from my high AC but the bard's down and the rogue bloodied. Still don't have my flail, and an orc is running away with a dangerous relic the gnomes excavated. So, I rip the head of a nearby orc corpse, hurl it at the fleeing one, roll a 20, and smash it in the back of the knee, crushing bones. I snatch up my femur-toothpick, stick another orc head onto it, then wield it as a club to bash the prone orc to death. I got a yum-yum after as my reward

[Logosloki]

On the cheating side, using the pact of blade feature to summon weapons that look like weaponised versions of kitchen implements.

On the awesome side I used the Violent Thrust from Telekinesis to throw an hour hand.

On the more gruesome side, after fighting a warlord I took his skull as a trophy and made it into a flaming mace. Didn't particularly use it, even though I had the best intentions so I re-worked the flaming mace into a censer and gave it to some clerics for safe keeping.

[Ventruenox]

Attached a zombie's head onto a stick. After using it as a tool for comedic effect, my subsequent character claimed it. He used Shillelagh and Blood Hunter rites on it. Quite a lot of fun to role play Zhoas alternating between it's hair on fire and covered in frost.

Thank you, Pete Abrams, for the inspiration and 20 years of nifty darn comics.

[Beelzebubba]

An Elephant

Polymorphed into squirrel, dropped by a Druid in giant Eagle form, dispelled on the way down


KER-BOOM-SPLAT!

[No brains]

One time my party blew up a still. We caught our GM a little off-guard with that idea, but he liked it so much that he gave us the go-ahead. We didn't actually kill anything with the blast, but we killed a building, which was a new experience for us.

[Vingelot]

One time my party blew up a still. We caught our GM a little off-guard with that idea, but he liked it so much that he gave us the go-ahead. We didn't actually kill anything with the blast, but we killed a building, which was a new experience for us.

A still as in a coal pit? Sounds like something Ciaphas Cain might do.

[Greylind]

Not very strange, but I had a player argue, for amusement value, that a pillow did 1d4 bludgeoning damage as an improvised weapon, as the rules state that is the amount for "an object that bears no resemblance to a weapon."

[Karsalem]

I once threw a god at a lich.

So we're at the end of our D&D 4e home brew campaign. We're all about level 28 by this time and there's a lich bent on world domination. Not your garden variety lich mind you, we're talkin level 30, Hand of Vecna, Eye of Vecna, the whole bit.

I'm a level 28 Warforged Warlord tricked out to the nines. I got 4 different poisons I can apply to my weapons, 3 different elemental protection stones, two retractable forearm mounted short swords and I kicked out the partridge in a pear tree so I could fit an over the shoulder spring-loaded crossbow in my back.

We're not fairing so well so one of our party members entreats his deity to grant us aid.

*rolls 20*

Well his deity happens to be Bahamut and apparently imminent world destruction is something worthy of his personal attention so the old boy shows up right then and there.

It's my turn

The conversation at the table went something like this:

Me: Now, technically, Bahamut is considered and ally right?
DM: *cautiously* Yeah...
Me: And I have an ability that allows me to grant an ally an attack right?
DM: *bemused realization about what I'm about to do to his finely crafted encounter* ...yeah.

So to make a long story short it was nukey-whaky bye bye lichy.

And to this day I still remind my D&D friends about the day I dual wielded a god.

[Koren]

This seems to be relatively tame compared to some of these other stories.

A fellow party member, a Firbolg, decided to throw a chair as a joke. It was one of the best rolls he made that game, despite actually hoping it would miss. After that he would periodically throw chairs for various reasons, and they were consistently high rolls. Fuzzy the Chair-Flinging Firbolg quickly became a running gag, I think my DM still wants to homebrew a feat or something for a Chair as a weapon, despite the fact that Fuzzy is considered dead (fell alone into the Underdark, the player stated he most likely couldn't survive it.)

[Kane0]

This seems to be relatively tame compared to some of these other stories.

A fellow party member, a Firbolg, decided to throw a chair as a joke. It was one of the best rolls he made that game, despite actually hoping it would miss. After that he would periodically throw chairs for various reasons, and they were consistently high rolls. Fuzzy the Chair-Flinging Firbolg quickly became a running gag, I think my DM still wants to homebrew a feat or something for a Chair as a weapon, despite the fact that Fuzzy is considered dead (fell alone into the Underdark, the player stated he most likely couldn't survive it.)

We made the same mistake about an allied orc that got flung into Avernus by our enemies using the dimensional doors and corridor mentioned previously.

About a week or so later that barbarian 2 orc was found half dead and very singed back in the corridor as a barbarian 2 / paladin 6, having clawed his way through hell to find the doorknob again.

Thrak the badass orc lived on as one of the most decorated and cherished members of our fort and war council.