Kesnit
2017-08-24, 07:49 AM
We've all heard the stories of the GM's SO getting preferential treatment. But is the reverse supposed to be the norm? Is the GM's SO supposed to be treated worse than the other players?
My wife has decided to run another Changeling: the Lost game. Our other players are new to nWoD, though they are familiar with oWoD. I do know CtL, and since it is my wife's favorite system, I've played in several of her games. That is how I know I get second-class treatment - because other players have told my wife that she treats me worse, and my wife admits that she does.
Since I know the system and the other players don't, I told my wife it would probably be best if I built my character prior to game so I could help the others build. She agreed at the time. I have several character concepts that I've never gotten the chance to put into play, so after she told me the setting, I pulled out the one I thought would work and put a tentative build together in my mind. (No dots on a sheet, just character type, abilities, skills, and some ideas on powers.) After thinking about it for about 2 days and talking to my wife, I realized that this particular concept would not work for the setting she created, so I put that idea back on the shelf.
My wife has often berated me for building backwards - deciding where I want my character to go and what I want him to be able to do, then picking the character type and abilities that would allow me to do it. She's challenged me to randomly roll for character type (in this case, Seeming) and build from there. I decided this would be a good time to take her up on that challenge, so rolled 2 d6's (since I had already planned to dual kith). I came up with Orge and Elemental, and went to work developing a character with that combo. It took about a day, but I found a combo that I liked and a concept that would work. I spent part of yesterday developing my ideas, and e-mailed my wife some questions to make sure what I was thinking would work in her world. She was OK with my concept, and I went so far as to lay out dots on the sheet.
When I got home, however, she proceeded to tell me I should wait until everyone else has built their characters so I can be sure my character will fit in with theirs. (I will admit that my concept is limited to a certain extent, and if the other players aren't interested in his specialty, it would likely never come up.) I said my character could still do his thing in downtimes, and she said she did not expect there to be any downtime.
During the discussion, I brought up that another player has already expressed interest in playing the healer. She answered, "I can't think of any scenario when a healer would not be useful to the party." I told her I could - if the party decides to play social PCs who prefer to talk things out, and call for help from the combat NPCs when necessary. Her answer was "but he could still do his stuff in downtime." At which point I reminded her she said there would not be downtime.
Later, she was berating me for making her put NPCs in her game that would allow my PC to join the Entitlement (like prestige class) that I want to go into. I asked her what she would do if, after playing 6 months, a different player found an Entitlement she wanted that required approval from an existing member. "I'd add that Entitlement to an NPC, or make a new NPC." I asked why she saw no problem with adding NPCs for the other PCs, but not for mine.
I finally just agreed to put some general concepts together and, once everyone else has built, pull out whatever concept fits best and throw dots on a sheet. (As she pointed out to me this morning, I am good at coming up with backstories for whatever I build, so I will be able to flesh out the dots into a person.) But that is not what I want to do, and even doing that is no guarantee that my PC will actually ever be useful.
This is not the first time I've run into issues like this. In a previous game, I built a PC with a detailed backstory who was a combat character who made other characters better at whatever they were doing. The backstory never came into play (although the backstories for other PCs did), I never got plot hooks directed at my PC (although others did), and my specific powers were almost never useful. This is the game when the other players called my wife out for the way she was treating me.
I've played with other groups, using nWoD and other RPG systems, and almost never run into problems like this. The ones running the games have found ways to get all the PCs involved, even when we didn't specifically build them to work together. (I've even been in games where PC concepts are complete opposites, but the GM has found ways to get them to work together.)
Should I just expect this kind of treatment, so everyone can be sure she isn't favoring me? My wife is good at running games, and I enjoy them for the most part. It's just frustrating to always be left out and told "no."
My wife has decided to run another Changeling: the Lost game. Our other players are new to nWoD, though they are familiar with oWoD. I do know CtL, and since it is my wife's favorite system, I've played in several of her games. That is how I know I get second-class treatment - because other players have told my wife that she treats me worse, and my wife admits that she does.
Since I know the system and the other players don't, I told my wife it would probably be best if I built my character prior to game so I could help the others build. She agreed at the time. I have several character concepts that I've never gotten the chance to put into play, so after she told me the setting, I pulled out the one I thought would work and put a tentative build together in my mind. (No dots on a sheet, just character type, abilities, skills, and some ideas on powers.) After thinking about it for about 2 days and talking to my wife, I realized that this particular concept would not work for the setting she created, so I put that idea back on the shelf.
My wife has often berated me for building backwards - deciding where I want my character to go and what I want him to be able to do, then picking the character type and abilities that would allow me to do it. She's challenged me to randomly roll for character type (in this case, Seeming) and build from there. I decided this would be a good time to take her up on that challenge, so rolled 2 d6's (since I had already planned to dual kith). I came up with Orge and Elemental, and went to work developing a character with that combo. It took about a day, but I found a combo that I liked and a concept that would work. I spent part of yesterday developing my ideas, and e-mailed my wife some questions to make sure what I was thinking would work in her world. She was OK with my concept, and I went so far as to lay out dots on the sheet.
When I got home, however, she proceeded to tell me I should wait until everyone else has built their characters so I can be sure my character will fit in with theirs. (I will admit that my concept is limited to a certain extent, and if the other players aren't interested in his specialty, it would likely never come up.) I said my character could still do his thing in downtimes, and she said she did not expect there to be any downtime.
During the discussion, I brought up that another player has already expressed interest in playing the healer. She answered, "I can't think of any scenario when a healer would not be useful to the party." I told her I could - if the party decides to play social PCs who prefer to talk things out, and call for help from the combat NPCs when necessary. Her answer was "but he could still do his stuff in downtime." At which point I reminded her she said there would not be downtime.
Later, she was berating me for making her put NPCs in her game that would allow my PC to join the Entitlement (like prestige class) that I want to go into. I asked her what she would do if, after playing 6 months, a different player found an Entitlement she wanted that required approval from an existing member. "I'd add that Entitlement to an NPC, or make a new NPC." I asked why she saw no problem with adding NPCs for the other PCs, but not for mine.
I finally just agreed to put some general concepts together and, once everyone else has built, pull out whatever concept fits best and throw dots on a sheet. (As she pointed out to me this morning, I am good at coming up with backstories for whatever I build, so I will be able to flesh out the dots into a person.) But that is not what I want to do, and even doing that is no guarantee that my PC will actually ever be useful.
This is not the first time I've run into issues like this. In a previous game, I built a PC with a detailed backstory who was a combat character who made other characters better at whatever they were doing. The backstory never came into play (although the backstories for other PCs did), I never got plot hooks directed at my PC (although others did), and my specific powers were almost never useful. This is the game when the other players called my wife out for the way she was treating me.
I've played with other groups, using nWoD and other RPG systems, and almost never run into problems like this. The ones running the games have found ways to get all the PCs involved, even when we didn't specifically build them to work together. (I've even been in games where PC concepts are complete opposites, but the GM has found ways to get them to work together.)
Should I just expect this kind of treatment, so everyone can be sure she isn't favoring me? My wife is good at running games, and I enjoy them for the most part. It's just frustrating to always be left out and told "no."