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Ivius
2007-08-13, 06:01 AM
1. You keep having to find new groups because all of your DMs have quit
2. You have Speak Language (Truespeak)
3. You look at the Theoretical Optimization board for builds

banjo1985
2007-08-13, 06:17 AM
4. You think decapitation of the Tarrasque using a dessert spoon is the pinnacle of good roleplaying.
5. You secretly use weighted dice to ensure better combat performance.
6. Your DM cuts one of your characterS arms off while they sleep, just so you can't use that "damn +5 vorpal" greatsword!

JackMage666
2007-08-13, 06:28 AM
7. You know the page number of every class, prestige class, item, spell, and anything else relevant to your character by heart.
8. Despite the above, the rules pages have been forgotten.
9. You play a Half-Elf, just to seem less intimidating to the DM.

Skjaldbakka
2007-08-13, 06:34 AM
10. Your DM cuts one of your arms off while you sleep, just so you can't use that "damn +5 vorpal" greatsword!

SithLackey
2007-08-13, 06:34 AM
11. You play a half-elf, and STILL manage to kick more ass than the rest of the party combined.

Ninja'd!

Green Bean
2007-08-13, 06:43 AM
12. You have a three digit HP total. At level 3.

Solo
2007-08-13, 06:48 AM
13. The Tarrasque is your familiar. At level 10.

SpikeFightwicky
2007-08-13, 07:16 AM
14. The calculations of all your buffs and stats after spamming DMM and Persistent spell take up multiple pages, but your character background is only one sentence long.

Lavidor
2007-08-13, 07:33 AM
15. At level 5, your'e on a solo adventure defeating CR 12 monsters.

JackMage666
2007-08-13, 07:35 AM
16. You're co-hort is Asmodeous
17. You're animal companion is the Githyanki Lich Queen

Dausuul
2007-08-13, 08:11 AM
14. The calculations of all your buffs and stats after spamming DMM and Persistent spell take up multiple pages, but your character background is only one sentence long.

18. You use DMM and Persistent Spell.

rollfrenzy
2007-08-13, 08:14 AM
19. the most feared phrase at your table is "Hey, I have this build I want to try..."

The Glyphstone
2007-08-13, 08:16 AM
Your Blessed Poisoned Two-Handed Sword is holding the Chainsaw of Bloody Dismemberment of Doom underneath the Knight Light attached to your Magnificent Hat...

Oh...wrong type of Munchkin. Whoops.

kjones
2007-08-13, 08:18 AM
20. You are a Wizard 5/Fatespinner 2/Initiate of the Sevenfold Veil 7.

Seriously, these guys are freaking invincible.

Freshmeat
2007-08-13, 08:22 AM
21. Fellow party members max out their initiative so they can at least take a swing at your foes... before you one-shot them all and win the encounter by yourself.

nerulean
2007-08-13, 08:24 AM
22. Fellow party members are just for decoration.

SithLackey
2007-08-13, 08:31 AM
23: You attained Ultimate Cosmic Power more than once this week.

Flawless
2007-08-13, 08:31 AM
24. Stormbringer seems like a decent back-up weapon to you.

25. What you call "improved continual flame" others call "sunrise".

Quietus
2007-08-13, 09:05 AM
16. You're co-hort is Asmodeous
17. You're animal companion is the Githyanki Lich Queen

No Invisible Christopher Walken stuff here! He's not a munchkin, he's just Invisible Christopher Walken!

martyboy74
2007-08-13, 09:16 AM
25. You have an ammo belt running across your chest full of nightsticks.
26. Your class list is longer than your backstory.
27. If you weren't human, you wouldn't be able to level of experience penalties.

ThorFluff
2007-08-13, 09:18 AM
29. Your wizard gives the Fighter + 26 str at lvl 4.

(this is actually very much possible :P)

Paragon Badger
2007-08-13, 09:23 AM
30. If someone else had none of the D&D books besides the Core rulebooks, it would cost 390$ to recreate your character.

Who
2007-08-13, 09:25 AM
29. Your wizard gives the Fighter + 26 str at lvl 4.

(this is actually very much possible :P)

How is that possible?!

Hannes
2007-08-13, 09:29 AM
You run around AoO'ing and one-hitting wights with a Large Longspear while level 4.

Spiryt
2007-08-13, 09:30 AM
How is that possible?!

You know that one must be careful with asking questions, beacuse one can always receive answer ? :smallamused:

Paragon Badger
2007-08-13, 09:34 AM
How is that possible?!

As I said... Many, many, many rulebooks. They are fine by themselves, sure...

but when put together... and optimized... Non-core rulebooks are doooooom.

AKA_Bait
2007-08-13, 11:03 AM
Your character is planned into Epic at level one and the plan involves more classes and PRC's than feats.

ArmorArmadillo
2007-08-13, 11:05 AM
...you're always complaining to your group about how overpowered wizards are; and you're playing one.

Renx
2007-08-13, 11:39 AM
31. Whenever your DM has described a monster for three words, you know what it is and how to kill it instantly.
31a. When doing this, you no longer have to say what you do, you just lift a small white plaque that says "kill". The rest of your group (and your DM) take your word for it.
32. Whenever you come into a new town, you can recognize immediately if it has been in any published adventure.
33. You've lived through the Tomb of Horrors 1st ed (converted to 3.x).
33a. Twice.
33b. At level 5.

Ivius
2007-08-13, 11:39 AM
34. You make "totally awesome" weapons out of the the fangs, horns, tusks and/or claws of everything you meet.

Exarch
2007-08-13, 11:55 AM
35. You can one-shot Invisible Christopher Walken.

36. Ao worships you.

37. Tahksis is your familiar.

38. Fizban/Elminster/Gandalf researches your spells.

TSGames
2007-08-13, 12:10 PM
As I said... Many, many, many rulebooks. They are fine by themselves, sure...

but when put together... and optimized... Non-core rulebooks are doooooom.

Yes, because the core rulebooks are perfectly balanced.

Leliel
2007-08-13, 12:13 PM
39. Chuck Norris looks upon you as his rival.
40.He came to this conclusion when he hit you, and you only sustained a broken arm and leg.
41. And managed to counter him after this.

SurlySeraph
2007-08-13, 12:27 PM
42. You know how to kill Pun-Pun.
43. You laugh at how weak Pun-Pun is.
44. Every character you play has arbitrarily high stats by no later than fifth level.

Duke of URL
2007-08-13, 12:32 PM
45. You manage to get a character approved for play with a race and templates totaling +14 LA and 8 racial HD for a 1st-level game.

45a. You've trained your GM to let you level said character up as fast as the other players because (s)he hates hearing you whine about how you're so many levels behind everyone else.

AtomicKitKat
2007-08-13, 12:33 PM
46 Your Monk/Kensai throws his hands at his opponents. His Throwing, Explosive, Fleshgrinding, Marrowcrushing, Masterslaying, Returning Hands.:smallamused:

EndgamerAzari
2007-08-13, 12:33 PM
47. You believe you can dominate an ulitharid, or, even better, an elder brain.

47a. And you probably can.

Weredwarf
2007-08-13, 12:45 PM
48. You complain when you only roll all 18's.

49. Wizard 20 is the weakest build you've ever created

50. Your paladin can one-shot every evil deity in the campain ...

50a. At first level.

AtomicKitKat
2007-08-13, 12:48 PM
51 You use "re-roll any dice" abilities.

51a ...at your local Casino.

51b ...and the Pit Boss lets you get away with it.:smalleek:

Foeofthelance
2007-08-13, 12:52 PM
52. You consider that -4 penalty as "irrelevant" simply because it barely scratches the bonuses you've got.

53. You can make Monkey Grip and Two Weapon Fighting viable. Together.


You make "totally awesome" weapons out of the the fangs, horns, tusks and/or claws of everything you meet.

I actually did that once, with a dwarf rogue and maxed craft armors/weapons. Claw short swords, Talon longswords, a chitin armor, and even a bug's head converted into a scuba mask...

Duke of URL
2007-08-13, 12:54 PM
54. You have a magic weapon with so many properties that it requires two pages to list them all.

woc33
2007-08-13, 01:00 PM
55. you playtested every build found on the CO board on your group.
56. including pun-pun.

Keld Denar
2007-08-13, 01:05 PM
57. Your only mode of attack is "FULL POWER ATTACK" because you have so many other bonuses, the loss of AB doesn't hurt your success rate.


46 Your Monk/Kensai throws his hands at his opponents. His Throwing, Explosive, Fleshgrinding, Marrowcrushing, Masterslaying, Returning Hands.:smallamused:

I prefer taking the versitile strike feat, and getting throwing, returning, vorpal fists (of doom). Karate chop someones head off from across the room!

-Cor-
2007-08-13, 05:53 PM
58. You make were-creatures with Monk levels and the Ghost template.


(Er... no... I've never done this.)

Reel On, Love
2007-08-13, 06:03 PM
but when put together... and optimized... Non-core rulebooks are doooooom.

As opposed to the core rulebooks, which gave us the Infinite Titan Army. Oh, and Druids.

Quirinus_Obsidian
2007-08-13, 07:10 PM
7. You know the page number of every class, prestige class, item, spell, and anything else relevant to your character by heart.

I thought I was just prepared!!! :smallcool:

Enzario
2007-08-13, 08:55 PM
59. Batman called: he wants his job back.

60. You slap any member of your gaming group (including the DM) who creates any character or NPC who has more than two levels in fighter.

61. Your name is Jonathan Tweet, Monte Cook, or Skip Williams :smallbiggrin:

62. There is always one player at the table that begs you to have mercy on him; he refers to himself as the DM.

Tengu
2007-08-13, 09:11 PM
63. Your CW samurai is so powerful that he makes the party CoDzilla and wizard cry.

Draz74
2007-08-13, 09:50 PM
64. You have a Commoner backup character in case the aforementioned Wizard-beating CW Samurai build doesn't turn out to be strong enough.

65. You turn down an offer of your character gaining a Divine Rank, because it would make him weaker.

66. You think Planar Shepherd looks weak compared to your homebrew PrCs.

67. You convince The Vorpal Tribble and The Glyphstone that Psionics are indeed overpowered.

68. Emperor Tippy wouldn't use your Wizard build in a Wizard vs. Fighter debate, even just as an example.

Paragon Badger
2007-08-13, 09:59 PM
69. (Heh.) The DM has said the following words to you at least once; "Because I said so."

ByeLindgren
2007-08-13, 10:11 PM
To 69: Hey, hey, what if you're asking why the Munchkin DM's PC with fifty levels in your first level party has to come along and win every fight for you?

70. Anything listed under 'Munchkin' applies to you: http://pw1.netcom.com/~shagbert/pages/munchkins.html

Xefas
2007-08-13, 10:14 PM
71: If your character not only single-handedly defeated all of the encounters in the adventure, but afterwards, all of the other PCs ganged up on you and you killed them all as well.

And...you were still at full HP afterwards.

(I totally did this. And only at lvl 8.)

Tengu
2007-08-13, 10:15 PM
71. You argue that, while it's written that humanoids breathe, sleep and eat, there are no rules on what happens when you don't, so your character does not.

72. "It's not written that humans cannot have four arms!"

Cookie if you get both references.

EndgamerAzari
2007-08-13, 10:21 PM
58. You make were-creatures with Monk levels and the Ghost template.


(Er... no... I've never done this.)

I know somebody who did, except he had half-golem instead of ghost.

EagleWiz
2007-08-13, 10:23 PM
You convince the DM that death has no penaltys.

bingo_bob
2007-08-13, 10:28 PM
73. You've played a spellcaster at epic levels.

PsyBlade
2007-08-13, 10:40 PM
(In response to 73.)

I'm playing a Shadowcaster God! He has 30 levels in Shadowcaster, and 10 in Shadowblade. And I'm not a munchkin. Linky to character (http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheets/view.php?id=18673)

Linky to game. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=48515)

Paragon Badger
2007-08-13, 10:41 PM
74. The DM threw a clone Party at you, and the only feasible way you could defeat them is by counterspelling 'yourself' so that your clone won't just use Time Stop and then finger of death on everyone. (True story.)

Jarlax
2007-08-14, 12:49 AM
75. you make your DM cry
76. your Phylactery is held on a demiplane accessible only by you within another of your own private demiplanes.

ThorFluff
2007-08-14, 01:10 AM
(wizard gives fighter 26 str at lvl 4)

How is that possible?!
Enlarge Person(+2str), Girallons blessing (you get a total of 5 pair of arms)
Fuse Arms (you get + 4str per pair of arms fused into one ,5x4=+20) And bulls strenght( + 4) so 20 + 4 + 2= 26.

Now the number of arms is limited by your size, so if you could take the wu jen spell "Giantsize" at lvl 19/20, which makes you colossal(and gives you + 32str, you get 8 arms, IE 4x8= 32. So that alone is + 64. (GiantSize scales with lvl, from huge to colossal.)

My DM grasped his heart when i showed him the combo. To make it fun i only cast it on myself and use a longspear, standing behind our Dwarven Defender :D

Karsh
2007-08-14, 01:27 AM
77. Your bard's Diplomacy skill is considered Vorpal (literally talking someone's head off).

78. Your character has the Craft Contingent Spell feat.

79. Your character only has 5 HP, but is immune to all forms of damage. At level 1. And is a Wizard.

80. You use Psionic Genesis to craft a demiplane with a vastly accelerated time trait.

Damionte
2007-08-14, 01:52 AM
My favorites thus far.


9. You play a Half-Elf, just to seem less intimidating to the DM.

31a. When doing this, you no longer have to say what you do, you just lift a small white plaque that says "kill". The rest of your group (and your DM) take your word for it.

71: If your character not only single-handedly defeated all of the encounters in the adventure, but afterwards, all of the other PCs ganged up on you and you killed them all as well.

68. Emperor Tippy wouldn't use your Wizard build in a Wizard vs. Fighter debate, even just as an example.

60. You slap any member of your gaming group (including the DM) who creates any character or NPC who has more than two levels in fighter.

39. Chuck Norris looks upon you as his rival.

Freshmeat
2007-08-14, 02:21 AM
81. You're the only PC the DM doesn't suspect of cheating, because all your rolls are automatically maximized anyway, by virtue of a nonsensical build that includes over 7 multiclasses (priest of peace, harbinger of light, healer of the radiant order, blooddrinker of erythnul, shadowdeath godzilla, slayer of all that is good and holy, high priest of ctulhu).

Freshmeat
2007-08-14, 02:25 AM
82. You no longer roll the dice. You just nod at the DM and he'll dramatically tip one of the figurines on the battlegrid over.

82b. Even if it's the BBEG.

WitchSlayer
2007-08-14, 04:45 AM
83. You play a Hulking Hurler thats even more powerful than the one found on the CharOp boards.

84. You beat Tippy and TheLogicNinja, both of whom are using wizard. With a monk.

Inyssius Tor
2007-08-14, 04:57 AM
84b. ...at the same time.

Winged One
2007-08-14, 07:05 AM
85. A special requiem is created, only to be played at the funerals of those you have killed.
85a. and it sounds like this (http://example.justgotowned.com/)

woc33
2007-08-14, 07:27 AM
84. You beat Tippy and TheLogicNinja, both of whom are using wizard. With a monk.

that can actually make sense, monks can make pretty good anti-casters, it's just that they suck as PC's. the Samurai on the other hand... :smallwink:

Ivius
2007-08-14, 08:12 AM
86. Your character could beat the DM in a fight.

Flawless
2007-08-14, 08:40 AM
that can actually make sense, monks can make pretty good anti-casters, it's just that they suck as PC's. the Samurai on the other hand... :smallwink:

Oh oh! Not one of these debates again.

Kurald Galain
2007-08-14, 08:48 AM
that can actually make sense, monks can make pretty good anti-casters, it's just that they suck as PC's. the Samurai on the other hand... :smallwink:

Buddha kills a catfish.

Also, 87. You lose all your rulebooks in a fire, but can rewrite them from memory using a simple word processor.

Ivius
2007-08-15, 04:20 PM
88. You search topic like these for ideas.

Paragon Badger
2007-08-15, 04:32 PM
(I'm sad to say, that this is a true story.)

89. You're party gets into an arguement, and decides to have a PvP battle just so they could retire/kill half the characters and start a new campaign. This course of action was planned out with the DM and the players.... all except the munchkin, who still wanted to play.

So the party gets into the IC arguement, and weapons are drawn. The munchkin's PC uses a diplomacy check and convinces everyone's characters to back down and keep adventuring.

(Yes, this is the same guy whose clone could only be defeated by the munchkin counterspelling...)

horseboy
2007-08-15, 04:41 PM
85a. and it sounds like this (http://example.justgotowned.com/)

Ha, haven't heard that one in a while.

90 You only use Summon Celestial Bison and Phantasmal Killer through out an entire adventure, and you're the only one who picked up the dice all night.

Fax Celestis
2007-08-15, 04:48 PM
91. The DM has to use monsters from other game systems to prevent you from destroying them in seconds.

91a It takes minutes instead, mostly because of cross-system conversion.

Tokiko Mima
2007-08-15, 05:52 PM
92. You're level 1, but you can turn any Hostile NPC into a Helpful NPC with a simple Diplomacy check, regardless of how poorly you roll.

tannish2
2007-08-15, 06:40 PM
93. you bring a portable game system or novel to play/read while everyone else RPs, or while the other players are busy wasting their turns

Arbitrarity
2007-08-15, 06:47 PM
94: You can win the game, despite being forced to be level 1 with 0 point buy, in an ECL 20 game.
94b: With Serpent Kingdoms banned.

daggaz
2007-08-15, 06:58 PM
95. "Oh, man I didn't realize it had eight racial HD, I swear!!," is one of the more common bluff checks you attempt during character creation/submission.

Bassetking
2007-08-15, 09:22 PM
71. You argue that, while it's written that humanoids breathe, sleep and eat, there are no rules on what happens when you don't, so your character does not.

72. "It's not written that humans cannot have four arms!"

Cookie if you get both references.

Stormwind and Oberoni Fallacies, I believe.


1. You keep having to find new groups because all of your DMs have quit
2. You have Speak Language (Truespeak)
3. You look at the Theoretical Optimization board for builds

96. You've authored a build on the Theoretical Optimization Board's "Campaign Smasher" List.

Foeofthelance
2007-08-15, 09:25 PM
97. You deliberately rearrange two feats in you character build to mislead your DM. Despite this, your character is in no way handicapped.

Matthew
2007-08-16, 07:11 AM
98. You claim to be playing by the 4e rules right now.

Paragon Badger
2007-08-16, 07:17 AM
99. You're so competetive that you even want the 100 spot on this list.

Tengu
2007-08-16, 07:17 AM
Stormwind and Oberoni Fallacies, I believe.


Sorry, but no. One of them is, or rather was long ago, on these boards, and the other one has things in common with Giant too.

Falrin
2007-08-16, 07:25 AM
100 You play a Half-Elf bard with TWF, oversized TWF and monkeygrip with better casting than the wizard, better healing then the cleric and more carrying capacity then the fighter.

Xuincherguixe
2007-08-16, 07:53 AM
101. You killed Cthulhu
102. You killed Yog-Sottoth
103. Even when the stats listed "it wins"

Tarken
2007-08-16, 08:18 AM
104:The only way you get any XP is by killing a room full of Tarrasques just to gain 100 XP

105: (Dr. Who refrence) You ponder whether building a collosal Dalek would kill things faster or just get in your way

Istari
2007-08-16, 08:29 AM
106. Pun-pun is your punching bag.
107. Unfourtunetly you need to rez your punching bag every round.