Famous last words

[Reingar]

Hello friends,
i dont know if there is a similar thread (search found nothing) about your parties or your own last words.
A few examples

• Thank god the dragon is sleeping.(it wasn't)
• Its just 1 goblin.(TPK)
• oopsie( cheating in a game of cards with 1 barbarian npc)
• I'll scout ahead (still waiting)

Personal and most used: I GOT THIS

So whats yours?

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Hold my beer, watch this.
I'm sure of it, no traps, I rolled an 18.
Wanna bet?
Can't touch this.
Man, I love being a...
Leroy Jenkiiiiiiiiins!
Over my dead body!

And yes, I do seem to remember there having been a thread like this at some point, I think in Roleplaying General.

[Reingar]

And yes, I do seem to remember there having been a thread like this at some point, I think in Roleplaying General.

Shall i delete the thread?

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Not unless someone insists on digging an older one up and continuing there.

I wouldn't be surprised if there had been multiple of these over the years, and I sure don't feel like reading through them to find out what I can't suggest anymore.

[Kid Jake]

"We both know you're not going to shoot me."
"Pfft, why would I need a doctor?"
"Wonder what it tastes like..."

[Vinyadan]

"This wall isn't load bearing."

[Lvl 2 Expert]

"This wall isn't load bearing."

When they were remodeling the station I worked at they had tagged all the big pillars with the local equivalent of "stay", to note that they shouldn't be demolished. I was kind of happy about it, but also a little worried that they needed to. What if the demolitions crew approached from the other side for a change? :smallbiggrin:

[AuthorGirl]

We won't die, the DM won't let us.

Nothing bad will happen until we get to the actual dungeon.

It's just an old man!

Oh yeah? Well, I'm a Fire Elemental!

It's fine, I've got this.

Oh, ****!

Where's the cleric?

The cleric is unconscious!

What do you mean, I'm out of spell slots?

I can bluff my way out of this.

I roll a perception check.

I roll a stealth check.

Okay, one shot . . . I can do this . . .

I pick his pocket.

I step into the water.

I step through the door.

I open my eyes.

I jump into the dragon's mouth with every fire spell I have overcharged and blazing.

Aaaaahhh oh god oh god I'm so sorry! that fireball was NOT AIMED AT YOU!!! . . . I said I didn't mean to!


No particular order, these are just all things that have been said immediately before someone's character dies. The last one counts as two in one: the wizard crisped the fighter. The rogue shot the wizard in the back.

[Vinyadan]

Last words of some dude who had been bitten by a rattlesnake:

"I know how to treat this. Connect the car battery to my lips."

[FlammySenpai]

"Nothing is gonna happen if we take stuff from this pyramid"

[Velaryon]

"Let's kill 'em for XP!"

(Said when outnumbered approximately 20-to-1, with at least two of the enemies being full-blown vampires).

[Stelio Kontos]

Don't worry, they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--- *thunk*

[golentan]

From the DM: "Relax, they're just zombies, you guys'll be fine."

[Vinyadan]

"It's the red cable."

[comicshorse]

" Don't worry I'll just suck the poison out of the wound "

[Capt Spanner]

"I wonder what this button does?"

[DraPrime]

"Hahahahahahahahahaha!" - Chrysippus, a Greek philosopher who died of laughter when a donkey at his figs

No really, look it up.

[Kyberwulf]

Not mine, but one I read.
After killing the priest of a death for.

"Here's your sacrifice Death God!"

Always the best one.

[AuthorGirl]

I draw my sword, cast Thundering Smite, and charge the dragon.

Also, this campaign looked likely to be fun. I'm sorry.

[2D8HP]

"It's just a scratch".

[Green Elf]

I hit it with my sword
I attack it
Just spend your money on weapons and armor
I hit the muscular bartender who has the steel mace with my empty bottle (I actually had a player do this on me)

[Malimar]

My witch: "Hey, wanna do something stupid?"
The paladin: "Yes!"

(The "stupid" idea was dimension dooring the paladin above/onto a flying dragon so he could smite it. The paladin did wind up dying, not from the dragon or from the fall afterwards but because the fall separated him from the party and he found a group of marauding giants. My witch did not die.)

[ElfMadness]

"I pull out my sword."

[Vinyadan]

"To drive manual can't be that hard."

[AuthorGirl]

"To drive manual can't be that hard."

Suddenly I wish this forum had "likes" or up-votes.

[In4Dimensions]

“Wait, where’d they go? They were just here a minute ago...”

[Vinyadan]

"Hi! I'm Clippit, your Office assistant!"

[MikelaC1]

"Its just a bunch of mammoths"
followed two rounds later by
"Mother****** mammoths, choppin' me down"

[Vinyadan]

"Here, make a video while I boo the cow."

[AuthorGirl]

"Okay! Who has the best sense of smell?"

[Green Elf]

I have 10 flasks of alchemis fire. Hahaha.

Don't worry, I'm the ranger, I shoot the bow.

Let's fight the rust monster!

What do you mean my weapon type isn't effective?

[LordEntrails]

Sure we can take the gems from the eyes of the statue. I mean so what if it's some god's idol?

[Misereor]

D&D

GM: "There's a big red X on the floor."
Player: "I go stand on it!"

GM: "The Repulsion spell pushes you off the cliff. It's a 200' drop to the lake below"
Player: "I cast Water Walking."

"Don't worry. I have Animal Handling."



Shadowrun

"I raise my head over the wall and take a peek."

"These Red Samurai aren't as tough as I thought they'd be!"

"A Roach Spirit? Ooooh, how scary! I step on it."



Warhammer 40K, Dark Heresy

"I tell the Commissar to <expletive deleted> my <expletive deleted>!"

"A female space marine? Hey sexy, wanna make out?"

"I didn't even know you could target an individual with an orbital bombardment?"



Call of Cthulhu

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"

"It won't die! It just won't die!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"

[Goodkill]

it's just one army, then i'll have his cards!

(in a game of RISK; after i failed with overwhelming odds on my favor, the other superpower took his cards and proceeded to win the game)

[shawnhcorey]

"But you honour, it was self-defence. It's just that we shot back first."

PS: The party didn't die. We broke out of jail the night before our execution.

[Vinyadan]

"Weird, I don't smell anything."

[MrZJunior]

"You can't shoot me, I'm a federal officer!"

[Duskanor]

DM: Roll your spot checks
Me: (I roll a 20) Yes I got a 20! (I roll again and get a 12) I have a total 46!
DM: In the distance you clearly see 4 serpentine creatures flying in your direction
Me: OH MY ****ING GOD WERE DEAD

This actually happened, our whole party of 5 died except 2 people. I was one of the people who died, however I did get
resurrected.

[In4Dimensions]

I feel like I’ve seen you before...

[Shesalik]

From my MMO times:

"But you said you have a lot of them!" (to our healer about mana potions)

Rogue:"Even I can tank this one."

"I'll be AFK for twenty seconds what can possibly happen." (while minig in EVE Online)

[Misereor]

"But you honour, it was self-defence. It's just that we shot back first."

:)
Reminds me of Richard, the Lord of Dance. "It was SELF DEFENSE! That orphanage attacked ME!!!"

[Jay R]

"And I'd have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling kids."

[Vinyadan]

"Change of plans: let's meddle!"

[CircleOfTheRock]

"Pffft, we don't need the manual anyway."

[IvorySongbird]

"The summoning circle isn't right? I'm a wizard, not an artist! What can possibly go wrong with a few squiggles in the line?"

[Ilmarë]

I'm going as a bard

That's a bit of a jump for you. You've only played fighters before.

How different can they be?

[Jay R]

"I rolled a one. Where's the fumble table?"

[Berenger]

Pointing at a random chest and exclaiming "Oh, look, a mimic!" in a sarcastic voice.

Needless to say, it was an actual mimic.

[Dante Daylight]

"maybe nerull need sacrifices" - after the young minotaur barbarian spoke those words he got posessed by an evil spirit (the group was passing a graveyard inside a doomed village, full of dark energies at this moment)

He suddenly cut the gray elf wizard in front of him in two halves and got struck down himself by my paladin who succeeded the listen check for the mentioning of the evil god of death but missed his spot check for the possession part (if I only had found any good reason to perform a sense motive check at this point :smallfrown:).

[Seventh Dwarf]

What's the worst thing that could happen?

[PunsAndDragons]

One player in our party took massive damage and had his arm hacked off...another player simply said, in a calm viice - “ooh, that has to smart!”

[Sinewmire]

My Paladin, Broseph, of the Knights of Bromania, upon encountering Cthulu:

"Detect Evil".

Turns out there was a rule for what happens if you're stupid enough to do that! Who knew?