[3.5] Southern Magician

[Thurbane]

OK, I need some help creating a pun character as an NPC for my game.

Whenever I read the words "Southern Magician", I picture Colonel Sanders doing a bit of hocus-pocus.

I'm looking for an ECL 9-10 NPC that meets the following criteria:

- Wizard (or Conjuror)
- Southern Magician feat
- As many chicken and cooking related pun abilities as possible!

https://photos.prnewswire.com/prnvar/20150817/258807

Cheers - T

[weckar]

Ooooh boy. I was hoping this thread would be about something like this. Tagging it for reading later.

[Venger]

I thought I was the only one who thought this.

I'm so glad I'm not alone.

I advise you combine it with another pun that's always been part of my personal canon.

Dorsein, the god of ghouls, is often referred to as "the King" and any time you eat, you're paying reverence to him. One of his domain spells, bite of the king, allows you to swallow an enemy whole and imprison him in a tummy dimension.

Perfect for footlong peanut butter, bacon, and banana sandwiches.

So I've always assumed ghouls who revere Dorsein and his worshippers as a whole (Dorsein doesn't discriminate) are Elvis impersonators.

You could roll gravetouched ghoul or just nab the hunger or gluttony domain because you appreciate the aesthetic, but when you say southern magician, I hear an undead Elvis impersonator pulling rabbits out of hats in order to deep fry them and eat them whole.

[Telonius]

Gearing up for your epic battle with General Tso, I take it?

If homebrew is allowed, VorpalTribble made this familiar-able game-chicken (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showsinglepost.php?p=2519985&postcount=3) a while back.

[Thurbane]

Here's what I've got so far (rough draft):

Cormund Sharpwinds

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/6f/45/0d/6f450dbe72ace1549880492f069962d3--fantasy-wizard-the-wizard.jpg
Male Mulan Human Commoner 1/Wizard 9 (maybe Conjuror 9 instead)
Str 8 Dex 10 Con 13 Int 15 (+2) Wis 12 Cha 14
Feats: Able Learner, Chicken Infested (flaw), Eschew Materials, Imbued Summoning, Improved Familiar (Blood Hawk?), Improved Initiative, Scribe Scroll, Skill Focus (profession: cook), Southern Magician
Skills: Concentration 13, Craft (alchemy) 5, Diplomacy 5, Handle Animal 13, Knowledge (nature) 5, Profession (cook) 13, Spellcraft 13, Spot 5

[Sagetim]

Here's what I've got so far (rough draft):

Cormund Sharpwinds

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/6f/45/0d/6f450dbe72ace1549880492f069962d3--fantasy-wizard-the-wizard.jpg
Male Mulan Human Commoner 1/Wizard 9 (maybe Conjuror 9 instead)
Str 8 Dex 10 Con 13 Int 15 (+2) Wis 12 Cha 14
Feats: Able Learner, Chicken Infested (flaw), Eschew Materials, Imbued Summoning, Improved Familiar (Blood Hawk?), Improved Initiative, Skill Focus (profession: cook), Southern Magician
Skills: Concentration 13, Diplomacy 5, Handle Animal 13, Knowledge (nature) 5, Listen 5, Profession (cook) 13, Spellcraft 13, Spot 5

Don't forget age modifiers if you are going to use them. Also, he might have Age Resistance in his lineup of spells, the better to have silver hair, higher mental stats, and still get away with eating horribly unhealthy hyper fried foods.

Did you remember wizard bonus feats? (including Scribe Scroll).

Prestidigitation can be used to flavor food (after all, the mysterious 12 herbs and spices may have nothing to do with the magical flavor).

Baleful polymorph into a chicken seems like a good way to punish those who cross him. On that note, Transmuter might be more fitting than Conjurer.

[Bullet06320]

adding celestial chickens and fiendish chickens to summon monster lists would be appropriate

makes you wonder what they would taste like

[Ashtagon]

> maybe Conjuror 9 instead

Nope. Cooking is transmutation magic. You're turning perfectly good raw meat and vegetables into steaming glop.

[mattie_p]

I made an illegal entry for an iron chef competition that was chicken infested, here's a discussion thread. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?307829-The-Chicken-Infested-Were-Chicken-Thread)

[DarkSoul]

adding celestial chickens and fiendish chickens to summon monster lists would be appropriate

makes you wonder what they would taste likeOriginal recipe and extra crispy cajun (or buffalo) style, respectively.

[Zaq]

Can you throw in Craft: Alchemy? You can't tell me that, in a D&D universe, "secret herbs and spices" just refers to actual herbs and spices.

[Thurbane]

adding celestial chickens and fiendish chickens to summon monster lists would be appropriate

makes you wonder what they would taste like

Original recipe and extra crispy cajun (or buffalo) style, respectively.

:biggrin:


> maybe Conjuror 9 instead

Nope. Cooking is transmutation magic. You're turning perfectly good raw meat and vegetables into steaming glop.

...hmm, maybe?


I made an illegal entry for an iron chef competition that was chicken infested, here's a discussion thread. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?307829-The-Chicken-Infested-Were-Chicken-Thread)

I'll look at that, cheers.


Can you throw in Craft: Alchemy? You can't tell me that, in a D&D universe, "secret herbs and spices" just refers to actual herbs and spices.

That's a great idea, thank you kindly!