Celestia's Finest: Battle Against a True Shipper

[Miltonian]

“Good bye, Mr. Sniper Scope!” Diamond Hope gives him one last hug and beams up at him. “See you next week!” With a happy skip in her steps, she trots back into her ‘room’, which is really more the size of an apartment, and the caretaker assigned to her, a nice, elderly mare, moves to close the door behind her. However, she too gives Sniper a grateful smile and whispers to him.

“Thank you. She’s always so happy after your visits.”

The door shuts and leaves him in the empty hall. It’s time to go. Sniper heads down towards the door at the end. He knows the way out. But as he raises a hoof to push it open, it swings wide and he finds himself face to face with a pony he’s been hoping to meet.

Princess Cadence.

She is just as surprised to see him as he is to see her. But she recovers and adopts an air of cold politeness. “Sniper Scope…” she says in acknowledgement and moves to step around him.

[D.KnightSpider]

Cadence's unexpected appearence shunted the good cheer right out of him. His stomach tightened and a familiar pressure began to build around his shoulders and neck. This was not what he'd expected or for what he'd prepared. It was supposed to be a neutral meeting, not a chance encounter.

His thoughts jumbled. The fear grew tighter. Could he really go through with this? There was more at stake than just a simple promise. If he couldn't work this out-- No. His teeth ground together in response to a strong mental kick.

Banish it all. He was not going to be a coward now. He had to know. There was no other way. If he ever hoped to truly change who he was, then this had to be done.

Sniper came to attention. It was now or never.

"Excuse me, Ma'a-- Princess Cadence-- May I have a moment of your time?"

Way to flounder there, Scope. Smooth.

[Miltonian]

"N-" Even though she catches herself, Sniper hears her beginning to say 'no'. Then, she takes a deep breath, putting her hoof to her chest, and lets it out. "Yes, of course!" she says, injecting some false, princess-like cheer into her voice so that she seems more like the always warm and friendly princess of love that she’s made out to be. She turns toward him, a thin smile fighting to stay on her face. “What’s on your mind? Anything to do with my official capacity?”

This is off to a great start.

[D.KnightSpider]

There were bad ideas. Then there were bad ideas. He'd underestimated just how much of a bad idea this really was. Cadance's discomfort was almost enough for Sniper to call off the whole thing. But he couldn't do that. If he faltered now, then he might never get another chance. And he'd never be able to look Applejack in the eye again.

"Not... exactly, Ma'am." All that careful planning deserted him, leaving him to stumble through the conversation. Wonderful. "It's about what happened on Tartarus Station. I-- I realize that I've hurt you and Nickel badly. I can't fathom exactly how much. All I know is what I'd do if any pony hurt Diamond and it... well, that scares me."

He swallowed hard. Breathe, he reminded himself. He could do this. What he couldn't do was meet her gaze. It was like trying to stare into the sun. His eyes fell to the floor.

"What I'm trying to say is: I'm sorry for what happened and I want to apologize."

[Miltonian]

Cadence, to the credit of whoever taught her such things, maintains her smile all the way up until Sniper apologizes. Then, her eyes flash and she takes a step forward. “You think you know? Well, why settle for that? I could show you exactly how a pony acts when someone they love is hurt.” Her horn begins to glow, but again, she catches herself. She takes another calming breath and sits down.

“You ruined my granddaughter’s life. You blew out part of her spine. If she recovers, she’ll have metal in her for the rest of her life. Rarity is paying for everything. She wouldn’t hear of anything else. But her life? Her dreams? They’re all gone now. Thanks to you. You hurt her much worse in that way than you did with your gun.” She shakes her head.

“And you’re sorry. Oh by the sun, I wish you weren’t! Then, I...I could,” She swallows. “Then I could hate you and not know in my heart that it was wrong.”

[D.KnightSpider]

Sniper's face and stance reflected a full range of emotions, from a step back in fear to a guilty flinch at the accusations brought to bear against him. It was one thing to intellectually know of Nickel's suffering. It was another to have it exposed with such vehemence.

When he felt safe enough to speak. He shook his head.

"You're not wrong. With what I did to--" He caught himself before using her name "--your granddaughter I deserve it. I'm not-- I can't-- ask you to feel otherwise.

"If that means you need to break my back or shred my legs, I won't resist. I deserve whatever you decide to do."

He looked at Cadence. She was judge, jury and executioner. Maybe this was the only way he'd feel better about the situation.

[Miltonian]

"Oh you don't know how much I would love to do all that and more," Cadence says in a low, forlorn voice, "But I can't. It's easy to hate a pony when they're just a name and a few clips of video. But once I meet them, I...well. I see all the things which are bound to their hearts. The friends, the family, and, sometimes, other things. Everything they love is laid bare to me. Most ponies have countless strings between them and others, some bright and some faint. But you? I could count them easily. And I can't hate you now. Everything inside of me is screaming for me to help you instead. If I gave in and attacked you, if I not only ignored that but did the exact opposite and let my hate overwhelm me, the same thing that happened to Auntie Luna could happen to me. When she fell, the night became a haven for evil creatures. If I fall, I don't even want to think about what would happen to love itself! What would I even call myself? Decadence?"

[D.KnightSpider]

For the first time, Sniper realized just how utterly alone he was. A knife shot his soul. His intellectual acknowledgement of the situation was not enough to withstand a verbal acknowledgement. An emotion, long suppressed, found the crack in his defenses and roared through his soul. He shut his eyes against it lest it escape him completely.

It was a decision made long ago: his duty to others came first. He would protect them first and foremost even if it meant protecting them from himself. His thoughts flew to how perilously close he'd come to attacking Love the night she'd broken into his apartment. He couldn't ask others to take that risk. He would never know family.

What he wanted didn't matter. It never mattered. He had to remember that. He wrestled his desire down and managed to quell the emotion. It wasn't easy, but doable.

What was there to say in response to that? Apologize for apologizing? Absurd. Claim to believe himself beyond help? Not even he would believe that lie. Why would he have attempted an apology if he thought himself beyond all hope?

He steadied himself and opened his eyes again. Eventually he settled on a simple: "I won't ask that of you."

In the back of his mind, Sniper heard those mocking words of the Philomena captain: When a pony had lost his love, the only thing left is hate.

[Miltonian]

"I rarely help those who ask," Cadence says, "They probably already know the answer they're looking for. They just want me to confirm it so they aren't so afraid."

Her eyes narrow and she stares at Sniper, reading something he can't see. She begins to stalk around him, examining him carefully. Slowly, a sly grin appears on her face. "Apology accepted," she says, "Oh, very much accepted." She slides a wing across his back and pulls him close. "Since you want me to 'pass some judgement' on you, here goes. I, Princess Cadenza mi Amore, hereby condemn you to my tender mercies. I am going to get my revenge on you and help you all at once." Her grin almost splits her face in two. "I am going to get you, Sniper Scope, a very special somepony. And I am going to enjoy every minute of it."

[D.KnightSpider]

Panic overtook him. Complete and genuine panic. He jumped and tried to pull free. Had Diamond Hope's door not been so nearby he probably would have screamed. One glance in that direction was all it took to silence him.

For an instant, he was back on Tartarus Station. His wings beat frantically against the unseen force holding him captive. A visige of perverted beauty started at him. The scene faced away, leaving him in the grip of one no less merciless.

Sniper collapsed. Tears rimmed his eyes. He couldn't even muster the strength to stop them. His vaunted emotional distance was gone.

"You-- you don't know what you're doing. I'm begging you, don't drag any pony else into this. Don't abuse their emotions to hurt mine... I'll-- I'll put a gun to my stomach and pull the trigger myself if that's what it takes. Please. I-- don't put any pony else in.. in danger of ending up like her... like..."

His voice gave out. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. He'd never thought love could be so cruel.

[Miltonian]

Cadence releases him and takes several steps back. "I...did not..." She takes another deep breath and sits down beside him, reaching to hold him gently as a mother does to a foal. "Like who, Sniper Scope?" she asks gently, "If I am going to help you, and I am because that is the punishment I chose, then I need to know what happened."

[D.KnightSpider]

There was no making sense of this. In the span of an instant, Came went from savoring his humiliation to acting like a compassionate mother. He tried pulling away from her embrace, but couldn't manage the effort.

He felt dead. He wanted to feel, but couldn't. It was as though his very center had been ripped out and left vacant. He didn't have the energy or desire to resist the question.

"Sea Scape. Stylish Cut. A short while ago, I very nearly killed a squad mate when she broke into my apartment. She was drunk. My career is based upon killing. How many of those slain had family I do not know. Ponies lost spouses, children lost parents because of me."

His gaze remained fixed upon the floor.

"Nickel Sheen."

[Miltonian]

Cadence swallows. "Yes...well..." She rises. "Your reaction caught me, um, off-guard. I expected something, but not despair..." She sighs. "Your sentence is still that I will help you, but now I don't know how to help you. It's...this is a strange situation." She sighs and closes her eyes. "Sun and Moon, what am I going to do with you?"

She leans against the wall and thinks. "There is the option of...cutting you off entirely. Remove the ability to love from-- But that would go against everything I stand for. But I, well, it's clear that you're in pain. I can't leave you like this." She begins walking away. "I am going to need to think about this! I have passed my sentence and now..." She sighs. "Now I need to figure out a way to carry it out."

[D.KnightSpider]

Sniper remained still. He had come here to find an answer. Now he had one. The knowledge left him cold and numb. Cadence knew his struggle. There was nothing left for him, now.

The option of removing his ability to love roused him enough to fully remember the Captain's words.

"When all love is gone from a pony's heart, there's only one thing left. Hate."

It took him a few moments to remember why that was important. If he were unable to control his hate? The results would be disastrous for every pony around him.

"I don't recommend doing that to me."

He couldn't help it. A quiet laugh escaped him. The irony was actually pretty funny.

[Miltonian]

Cadence nods. "Neither do I. I've never done it and it's only possible in theory. Even a changeling's victim could be restored. There would be no coming back." She thinks for a moment. "Don't take this the wrong way, but neither I or anypony else can help you right now. We could try, but we would fail. Before anypony can, you have to be willing to be helped. Until then, we're only going to be beating against a brick wall." She gives him a nod in farewell. "So when you are ready to accept my help, I will be waiting."

[D.KnightSpider]

"Why?" He still had little emotional reserve, nor the presence of mind to control his emotions. Whatever vague impulse flitted into his mind was going to escape his mouth.

"Why should I want help? I approached you to learn if I could atone-- if there was a way back. My presence nearly destroyed the harmony of love. It corrupted your very mission and twisted love itself into an instrument of vengeance.

"Hate is greater than love. I can't come back. Why should I try?"

He wanted to cry, but couldn't. There was so much he couldn't do right now.

[Miltonian]

"Oh Sniper, that's not true," she says, "Hate will never win over love. It may come close sometimes, but it will always fail. And as for my...vengeance, I can be a bit flippant at times. I never suspected how deeply your terror ran. I thought it was as simply as a colt with cold feet and a hard time talking to mares. Please, forgive me. It was a poorly thought out plan."

"But if you do want my advice, then first you must answer a question. Do you believe yourself worthy of another's love?"

[D.KnightSpider]

Was she lying to save face? Telling the truth? It didn't matter, really. He couldn't bring himself to care. Sniper tried to rouse himself. A part of his mind was waking up to fact that he couldn't let Diamond Hope find him like this.

She was the one thing keeping him going right now. He could walk away from any pony and every pony. He'd done it once before-- after that incident with Stylish Cut at school. But he knew he'd never be able to cut the cord binding him to Diamond Hope. He'd made a promise. He would keep it.

His thoughts turned to Cadence's question. It was vague. Worthy of love. That could mean many things. There were many answers. He didn't know which one Cadence wanted. Thinking was hard right now.

He finally decided on : "I want to be."

[Miltonian]

"Interesting," she said, "Do you drink tea? This seems like a conversation best had someplace else. Not in the middle of a hallway."

[D.KnightSpider]

"Tea, yes." It was an easy question, at least. Sniper continued speaking as though the following explanation were reflex and he didn't understand it wasn't immediately necessary. "No alcohol. I'm always designated."

The floor, right. He was working on that. Sniper shifted. Stiff muscles protested. But their protests were outnumbered by the smooth purring of well-maintained cybernetics. He wobbled to his feet and blinked several times. The movement cleared some of his mind, but not much. He'd probably still narrate his autobiography if some pony asked.

[Miltonian]

For the record, Cadence makes excellent tea. She sits Sniper down in a secluded sitting room and soon has two, steaming cups on a little coffee table between them. She takes a sip, biding her time and waiting for the right moment to speak. "You know," she says at last, "I was born a pegasus. Magic has never been my strong suit. And Twilight was a unicorn, and she's never mastered flying. I...I suppose that's why I fell so easily to Chrysalis when she came for me. I remember it well. I, well, it may seem silly, but I still have nightmares about it sometimes."

"I was preparing for my wedding. It was going to be the perfect day. All my friends, all my family. Everything a bride dreams about. And then, I hear a voice behind me. "Excuse me, miss, you're so beautiful. Might I have the pleasure of your name?" And so of course I turned around and saw a tall, grey mare standing behind me and smiling. She seemed so warm and kind that I liked her immediately. "Of course!" I said, "My name is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Nice to meet you." And she put her hooves to her chest and said. "Oh, what a lovely name you have. I think I'll have it for myself." And then she began to change. Her flesh peeled off and I saw myself standing there instead. "In fact, I'll take the rest of you as well." And then my knees buckled and I collapsed."

She sighed. "I never hated her. No, I was too afraid of her for that. We defeated her, but at the mere mention of changelings, a shiver went up my spine. Yet you..." She shakes her head. "You did what I thought was impossible. I don't know exactly how this was supposed to tie in, but even though you did what you did, I don't think you have to be a lost cause. At least, not yet."

"Are you afraid that you'll hurt somepony if they get too close to you?"

[D.KnightSpider]

The tea cleared some of the fog from his head. Enough to bring up a little of his long standing guard. It wasn't much, but enough to let Sniper feel like himself again. It didn't do anything to ease his exhaustion or fill his empty emotional state.

It was interesting getting a glimpse at something so far back in Chrysalis' past. The cruelty. The selfishness. It sounded very much like her. Yet, it didn't seem to match at the same time. Present Chrysalis seemed more pretty and worn than the one in the story.

"Some say that monsters fear each other. That can be true. Other times we relate." Sniper let his eyes drop to the tea cup. It was still hard looking at Cadence after everything that happened. "She said it herself, I was a pony after her own heart. But she had her chance at redemption stolen from her. I had to give it back... Because protecting ponies keeps me sane. She needed protected.

"Chrysalis revels in the misery she causes. I never have. But that doesn't change that I do cause misery. Any pony who gets close to me gets hurt. I have to keep them away. It's the only way to protect them."

His voice and face became pained.

"One bad day is all it would take for me to lose control... and hurt them more than just emotionally."

[Miltonian]

Cadence gives Sniper a very serious look. "I am not in the business of putting ponies in danger, Sniper Scope. At least trust me on that one."

She sets her cup down. "Let me ask you a question. Would Harrier Squad have survived without you? Would Diamond Hope have lived without you? You didn't...you didn't kill Nickel. She can still find something to do with her life. And we will all be there for her. It seems for a pony whose talent is killing, you are far better at saving those who are beyond hope. With precision, a sharp eye, and keen insight into the problem at hand, you thread the needle like few ponies ever can. And they train to do that all their lives. It comes naturally to you." She keeps her expression carefully neutral. "What do you think about that?"

[D.KnightSpider]

Sniper rolled his head around to loosen his neck muscles. The movement bought him some time to make his brain work. There were so many things he wanted to say in response to that. But he didn't know where to start. He began working through the problem at the source: Cadence's questions.

He finally raised his head to look at her.

"Harrier Squadron would have survived. I don't doubt that. Maybe not so well, but we're too tenacious to die. Diamond..."

The thought left him cold. If the squad had failed to talk her down, then they would have had to beat her down. Without the ability to get close, they would have resorted to guns. Rose wouldn't have been able to stabilize her wounds. There was always a chance that Love would have noticed the tablet, but the memory of her breakdown came to him. Would she have said anything had he not been there?

"Diamond... I don't know... I just know I couldn't let that happen. Diamond's a filly. What happened wasn't her fault. It was all the conspiracy around her and those... calling them spirits is too good for them... those things screaming in her ear. I had to help her. I understood her situation. Anything less wouldn't have been right. That... was the first time I've ever done something like that."

He slumped back in his seat.

"I want to be the pony you describe. I want to be more than a killing machine. But I can't. I can't turn the anger and hatred off. It's always there. Sooner or later I'm going to slip and give into it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But some day... when that happens, I don't want those around me to suffer. They've already suffered enough because of me. Saving Diamond Hope doesn't change that."

[Miltonian]

Cadence speaks tenderly. "You already are that pony. At least part of you is." She looks down. "I have the unique perspective of seeing both sides of you. On the one hoof, your hate allows you to kill and do it better than anypony I've seen. And on the other, your love lets you pierce through the hardest hearts. And if you let go of your hate, only love will remain."

[D.KnightSpider]

The concept made little sense to him. Let go of his hate? What did that even mean? His hate was a part of him. He could no less hate than breathe. Right?

Suddenly, Sniper wasn't so sure. He had a hazy memory of a brief time when he didn't feel so unstable. But that had been swallowed up pretty quickly. Was it really that simple : to just let go of the hate?

But if only love remained... what would happen to him? Could he keep on killing without hate? Could you kill out of love? That seemed absurd. Without his skills, he had no worth, no value. He'd lose his spot on the EDF and then what would he do?

But... wasn't that what he wanted? To be more than a killing machine? To have a life outside of murder, yes. But to lose his entire career as a soldier?

He suddenly had a million questions, no answers and no energy with which to find them.

"But... how do you even do that?"

[Miltonian]

“You replace it,” Cadence says, “Bit by bit, you let it go a little each day and fill in the space with love. And when you fight, don’t do it to destroy an enemy, but to protect a friend. Remember who you defend and picture their faces, not your enemy’s. Then, if the opportunity presents itself, you will always be ready to extend a hoof of friendship to a pony who can be saved.

[D.KnightSpider]

His mind flitted to when Rose was being held at gunpoint. What had gone through his mind then? Panic, fear-- concern. Concern for her. Wasn't that a low level version of love? The shot had connected. Barely. But he hasn't been firing in hate... that...

That had happened when he fired at Nickel. It was hate, pure and simple.

Sniper slumped against the table. Why hadn't he fired when she grabbed the electro laser rifle? He might have been able to live with himself then. But he hadn't. She was a noncombatant and he'd tried to murder her. That went against everything he had trained himself to do. Yet, he'd done it.

Monsters would be monsters.

Why hadn't Rarity just killed him? Why had the others tried so hard to save him? Couldn't they see he wasn't worth it?

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

In the back of his mind, the dreaded little voice cackled that it would never go away.

[Miltonian]

Cadence's eyes are compassionate. Kind. They are kind in a way Sniper's voice tells him he doesn't deserve. And he believes it. "I forgave you. But I am not the pony you need to apologize to. However, she's not ready to see you yet. Perhaps...you could write her a letter?"

Sniper knows who she is talking about. Nickel Sheen. She wants him to apologize to Nickel Sheen.

[D.KnightSpider]

"I can do that." This time there's no long delay or hesitation in Sniper's answer-- even as he wilts even further under Cadence's gaze. "I wanted to ask about her."

Cadence was the starting point for many apologies. He knew that he would eventually have to talk to Nickel sheen. But, as he feared, his presence would do more harm than good at the moment. A letter was a good compromise.

But Rarity... he refused to even think about that apology right now. How could he ever face her?

[Miltonian]

“It will help her,” Cadence says, “At least, that is my hope. And for now, that is all I can ask of you.” She sighs and sets aside her tea. “Well, I am glad we had this time together. But I am now very late for a meeting, and I should show up for at least part of it.” She smiles ruefully. “Here is some more free advice: if they ever offer you an administrative positions, just say no.”

[D.KnightSpider]

"I hope it will help." Sniper said, moments before disaster struck.

Cadence made a joke.

A jovial grin slit Sniper's face. Now there was an idea that was funny. Him working a desk job. His expression might have been disconcerting given his normally depressive expression. But, then, he wasn't exactly himself at the moment.

"If it ever gets to the point that Command wants me behind a desk, then close the blinds and hang up the shingle. This world is done for."

He fell back against the seat giggling. Sniper Scope: Desk Jockey of Precision! Rubber Stamper of Pinpoint Accuracy!

Boom! Checkbox!

His mind was gone. There was no stopping it now.

[Miltonian]

Cadence smiles. "Take care, Sniper Scope," she says, "And try to stay out of trouble."

[D.KnightSpider]

"Bye!" Sniper managed between giggles. "I'll try!"

He remained at the table long after Cadence had left. At length, he passed out from emotional exhaustion and slept off his stupor. He later awoke feeling very conflicted and confused.


A day later, the following letter was posted:


Nickel Sheen,

What happened was my fault. The blame falls squarely on me and I won't attempt to deny or justify it. I confess to it. If I could go back and change things, I would. If I could go back and do things differently, I would. But that power is far beyond my abilities. All I can do is apologize, and I know that will never be enough.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for attacking you. I'm sorry for destroying your life. I apologize. A thousand times, I apologize for all the misery you've suffered at my hooves. I hope that one day I can make some kind of restitution and prove myself worthy of your forgiveness. In the meantime, I accept the full weight and guilt of my actions.

I know this letter won't make things right. It won't fix everything. I dearly wish that it would, but it can't. I only hope that this letter doesn't cause you any further suffering.



You have my best wishes for your well-being and a swift recovery. If there is any means by which I can help you, I would gladly do so.



- Sniper Scope