How to be a better player

[Wartex1]

As a recent newcomer to physical tabletops instead of digital tabletop, I've noticed some bad habits of mine that tend to come to light at the table which can disrupt the game and make it less enjoyable for everyone.

The main instance is that I tend to either talk too little or talk too much and end up interrupting people. This usually isn't much of a problem, but during a game I can see how problematic it might be.

What are some good ways to improve this kind of behavior, especially if it only tends to happen, at least to a severe degree, during gaming?

[Koo Rehtorb]

Buy your friends stun guns and instruct them to use it on you if you're out of line.

[Wartex1]

Buy your friends stun guns and instruct them to use it on you if you're out of line.

Sounds expensive

[OldTrees1]

Your goal, like that of the DM, is to help everyone have a good time. Just reminding yourself of this goal, even without specific suggestions, will bias you towards better play.


Concentrating on what people are saying might make it harder to interrupt.

Pay attention to if each person has had a chance to contribute to the discussion. Consider sometimes prompting their input rather than expressing your own input. This will help you tone down how much you dominate the discussion.

[Jay R]

Buy your friends stun guns and instruct them to use it on you if you're out of line.Sounds expensive

You people and your overly complicated solutions. Clubs and stones work just fine.

[RazorChain]

I'm a spotlight hog myself. My solution was to become a GM

[Jay R]

As a recent newcomer to physical tabletops instead of digital tabletop, I've noticed some bad habits of mine that tend to come to light at the table which can disrupt the game and make it less enjoyable for everyone.

The main instance is that I tend to either talk too little or talk too much and end up interrupting people. This usually isn't much of a problem, but during a game I can see how problematic it might be.

What are some good ways to improve this kind of behavior, especially if it only tends to happen, at least to a severe degree, during gaming?

One useful tool is to talk on your own initiative only. Note that I'm only recommending this for the current situation, not for general use. This is medicine to fix a specific problem, not food for long-term growth.

[Also, this doesn't work in the part of the game when you're not tracking initiative, obviously.]

[Vitruviansquid]

The way I see it is this:

An RPG, like many other activities, is simply a pretext under which a bunch of friends can socialize. This is necessary because if you tell people "hey, let's have a group of 5 of us just come together and talk for a bit" it would be pretty awkward and seem like a pretty big waste of time. But really, when you're playing an RPG, it's like 60% of the fun you'll have is dependent purely on socializing, and only 40% on the game itself.

So I could tell you things like, "pay attention when the GM describes the setting, so you're not constantly mixing up terms or asking for recaps" or "don't hog the spotlight and let other people do as much talking as you do," but those, like the vast majority of other tips, are just extensions of what you want to do in a normal group hangout situation, "pay attention when people are talking" and "listen as much as you speak." Just be a good dude.

For the other 40%, there's a bit of preference involved so what works for me may not work for you. But since you asked:

1. Keep your characters' backstories lean. The more you have in your backstory, the less can emerge in gameplay. The more you have in your backstory, the less of an impression each single element makes. The more you have in your backstory, the more the GM and other players are not going to keep track of. The more you have in your backstory, the closer you get to someone at the table saying, "isn't that just a special snowflake?"

2. Consciously cooperate with the GM in order to make the game fun. Did the GM write a plot hook that you don't think your character will take? Find some way to get your character to take it.

[oxybe]

The way I see it is this:

An RPG, like many other activities, is simply a pretext under which a bunch of friends can socialize. This is necessary because if you tell people "hey, let's have a group of 5 of us just come together and talk for a bit" it would be pretty awkward and seem like a pretty big waste of time. But really, when you're playing an RPG, it's like 60% of the fun you'll have is dependent purely on socializing, and only 40$ on the game itself.

So I could tell you things like, "pay attention when the GM describes the setting, so you're not constantly mixing up terms or asking for recaps" or "don't hog the spotlight and let other people do as much talking as you do," but those, like the vast majority of other tips, are just extensions of what you want to do in a normal group hangout situation, "pay attention when people are talking" and "listen as much as you speak." Just be a good dude.
Alright, close up shop, thread over. This here is the legit #1 bit of advice.

For the other 40%, there's a bit of preference involved so what works for me may not work for you. But since you asked:

1. Keep your characters' backstories lean. The more you have in your backstory, the less can emerge in gameplay. The more you have in your backstory, the less of an impression each single element makes. The more you have in your backstory, the more the GM and other players are not going to keep track of. The more you have in your backstory, the closer you get to someone at the table saying, "isn't that just a special snowflake?"

2. Consciously cooperate with the GM in order to make the game fun. Did the GM write a plot hook that you don't think your character will take? Find some way to get your character to take it.

Other really good points, esp 2.

I'd also put an addendum to point 2: Work with the other players to make the game fun. If someone says or does something, try to find some way to get your character to go along with them or run with it over admonishing them, even if it is a little bit out of character. The same way you make allowances for your friends, coworkers or even strangers, even if you don't agree with them, your character should do the same (barring some diametrically opposed ideals like expecting a Paladin of Gumdrops and Goodness agree to blowing up the local Orphanarium/Elderly retreat/Puppy daycare).

as a point 3 I'd also say to stress a session 0 whether you're a GM or player, so as to nip potential conflicting characters joining the same game, like the previously mentioned Paladin & 'Splode-omancer scenario.

[Mordaedil]

Patiently await your turn and if you aren't there, you can't say anything, regardless of how much you'd want to. You can crack it as a joke, but just remind everyone that it is out of character and don't do it all the time.

Don't play other peoples characters, this goes for the DM as well, provide suggestions, but let people experiment with their own character as they please, but also feel free to admonish them in character for it. "Why were you stabbing the skeletons with your rapier? You are a bard, you should have been singing!" This, while kind of uncomfortable might at least make them think more deeply about how they want their character to behave.

If somebody is frustrated, ask them what is wrong and how you can help. Then offer suggestions on how to leviate that frustration. The DM will probably help if he's one of the better ones.

If you hog the spotlight a lot, feel free to reserve yourself when others are on a roll. Hold back and consider how you've acted recently and let others bask in the sun a bit, feeling content that you've already had your share and you will get more at a later point too.

If you find yourself interrupting someone else, apologize and offer to let them finish. If they offer you to say your piece, say it quickly and suicintly and offer the speaking back to the other player if they still have something to say, so that it doesn't become a humble-parade. Don't be upset if they take your offer to say their piece, but be wary if they sound frustrated. That means you've overstepped some boundry. They might need a minute to get over it and in very serious cases could be a good place to end the session (from personal experience)

Some of this advice might sound like pretty normal stuff, but it's stuff I can remember from recent sessions.