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Fax Celestis
2007-08-14, 06:35 PM
Goggles
They do nothing.
Faint illusion; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, magic aura; Price 2000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

goat
2007-08-14, 06:39 PM
They protect your eyes from dust and liquids!

Ranis
2007-08-14, 06:54 PM
They also serve as a brassiere for very small female gnomelings!

Arbitrarity
2007-08-14, 07:05 PM
Socks of Wondrousness..ness.

Wearing these heavy woolen socks allows you to use an extra foot slot. They also keep your feet warm and cosy. In the event that the Socks of Wondrousness..ness become wet, all their properties are negated until they are dried again. They don't even take up a slot at such a time, as they provide no benefit.

Faint Transmutation; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, Nystul's Magic Aura, Endure Elements; Price 1000 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.

Reinboom
2007-08-14, 07:06 PM
Gloves of Autoidentify
While wearing these gloves, as a swift action, the bearer may activate them to identify (as the spell) all properties of any gloves they are currently wearing. The bearer must be wearing both of the gloves to autoidentify in order to use this ability.
This ability may be used two times a day.
Faint divination; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, identify; Price 750 gp; weight 1 lb.

Compass of the Exlover
This magical compass, though having the standard cardinal directions on the compass; for most (read below) the compass has no visible effect other than being broken - or stuck in a single direction which changes based on seemingly random circumstances.
Upon identifying reveals that the compass points in the direction of the last person or creature who successfully succeeded on a bluff check against the holder via vocal means.
Moderate divination; CL 7th; Craft Wondrous Item, Discern Lies; Price 28,000 gp; weight 0 lb.

Indon
2007-08-14, 07:09 PM
Gloves of Autoidentify
While wearing these gloves, as a swift action, the bearer may activate them to identify (as the spell) all properties of any gloves they are currently wearing. The bearer must be wearing both of the gloves to autoidentify in order to use this ability.
This ability may be used two times a day.
Faint divination; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, identify; Price 750 gp; weight 0 lb.


This would be pretty nice for a four-armed character.

Fax Celestis
2007-08-14, 07:11 PM
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/105/296449700_731d584a02.jpg

Invisible Bicycle
This bike is always invisible.
Faint illusion; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, invisibility; Price 12000 gp; Weight 8 lbs.

psychoticbarber
2007-08-14, 07:16 PM
Any magical item specifically intended for a Samurai. :smallamused:

What possible good could it do?

tannish2
2007-08-14, 07:26 PM
i have GOT to get gloves of autoidentify for one of my characters

Reinboom
2007-08-14, 07:32 PM
Supreme Samurai Kabuto of Usefulness
This marvelous samurai decor and helmet unveils the true mysterious arts of the samurai- the power beneath the mask of the weaker ways of the code, culture and form.
Upon bearing the the helmet, all class features and hit die of the bearer, if they are a samurai, are replaced with that of the warblade. The bearer may immediately choose maneuvers and stances. Removing the Kabuto and replacing it back, or even a new kabuto, doesn't change your maneuver or stance choices. Levels of warblade or other martial classes stacks as though the samurai was a martial class itself.
The bearer also gains a +10 to diplomacy, intimidate, concentration, and spot checks as well as being under the effects of a True Seeing spell for as long as the kabuto rests on their head.
The kabuto is immune to the effects of dispel magic, greater dispel magic, or similar effects. The user of a disjunction must succeed on a DC 37 caster level check in order to remove the powers of the kabuto.
Major transmutation; CL 17th; Craft Wondrous Items, Shapechange; Price: 420,000 gp, weight: 12 lbs.

The Emperor's Garments
The Emperor's Garments appear to be royal garments of at least 1,000 gp in value - suitable for any leader of a major world power.
Upon bearing the emperor's garments, a magical timer is activated. No forms of divination reveals the timer, though a successful identify reveals the effects of the The Emperor's Garments. After one hour of wearing, the garments become invisible, including everything stored in their pockets and containers except that of the wearer themselves.
Faint Illusion; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, Delay Spell, invisibility; price 9,000 gp; weight: 3 lbs.

bigbaddragon
2007-08-14, 07:33 PM
Any magical item specifically intended for a Samurai. :smallamused:

What possible good could it do?

If the item would cause the Samurai to commit suicide it could actually do some good :smallwink:


Fax, where do you get all those amusing images from? Every and each one that I saw you post (or gave a link to) was great (castlelike wedding cake and angry gazebo for example).

Fax Celestis
2007-08-14, 07:37 PM
Fax, where do you get all those amusing images from? Every and each one that I saw you post (or gave a link to) was great (castlelike wedding cake and angry gazebo for example).

Mostly from my surfings on Livejournal, actually, though I Can Has Cheezburger? (http://Icanhascheezburger.com/) and LOLbots (http://LOLBOTS.com/) usually prove endlessly entertaining.

goat
2007-08-14, 07:38 PM
The Samurai's Armour of Awesomeness

When worn, this armour gives a +20 bonus to the samurai when using bluff or intimidate to convince a foe that the samurai can beat them up with no problem. Unfortunately, the samurai believes everything they say, and so repeatedly engages in duels with any foe they meet.

This item is considered cursed.

Volug
2007-08-14, 07:41 PM
donut of tastiness
a big donut that tastes REALLY good

price:1,000,000 GP Weight: 20 lbs.

Reinboom
2007-08-14, 07:54 PM
donut of tastiness
a big donut that tastes REALLY good

price:1,000,000 GP Weight: 20 lbs.

"Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness
A rather large donut that tastes REALLY good.
After 24 hours of complete consumption, with or without the inclusion of crumbs, the "Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness regenerates in full tastiness and freshness. The location of regeneration is dependent on the location the consumers 'left it'.
This donut is immune to being effected by anything that would alter the taste, such as dirt or other foul ingredients that may effect it. Such ingredients simply fall off.
Faint Universal magical aura; Price: 1,000,001 GP; CL 1st; Profession(Chef) of at least 20 ranks, Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation. Weight: 20 lbs.

Volug
2007-08-14, 08:11 PM
"Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness
A rather large donut that tastes REALLY good.
After 24 hours of complete consumption, with or without the inclusion of crumbs, the "Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness regenerates in full tastiness and freshness. The location of regeneration is dependent on the location the consumers 'left it'.
This donut is immune to being effected by anything that would alter the taste, such as dirt or other foul ingredients that may effect it. Such ingredients simply fall off.
Faint Universal magical aura; Price: 1,000,001 GP; CL 1st; Profession(Chef) of at least 20 ranks, Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation. Weight: 20 lbs.

ROFL
where do you come up with this? lol

CasESenSITItiVE
2007-08-14, 08:18 PM
The Emperor's Garments
The Emperor's Garments appear to be royal garments of at least 1,000 gp in value - suitable for any leader of a major world power.
Upon bearing the emperor's garments, a magical timer is activated. No forms of divination reveals the timer, though a successful identify reveals the effects of the The Emperor's Garments. After one hour of wearing, the garments become invisible, including everything stored in their pockets and containers except that of the wearer themselves.
Faint Illusion; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, Delay Spell, invisibility; price 9,000 gp; weight: 3 lbs.

should be called the emperor's new garments

Arameus
2007-08-14, 08:28 PM
Vorpal Helmet

This beautifully-crafted helmet changes size to adapt to the current holder. This helmet adds +10 to AC and grants a +5 bonus to Wisdom and Charisma modifiers. Upon donning the helmet, the wearer is decapitated.

This item is considered cursed. Obviously.

psychoticbarber
2007-08-14, 08:29 PM
Goggles
They do nothing.
Faint illusion; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, magic aura; Price 2000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Shouldn't they prevent Dark?

Wait. Wrong game :smallwink:.

Reinboom
2007-08-14, 08:34 PM
Vorpal Helmet

This beautifully-crafted helmet changes size to adapt to the current holder. This helmet adds +10 to AC and grants a +5 bonus to Wisdom and Charisma modifiers. Upon donning the helmet, the wearer is decapitated.

This item is considered cursed. Obviously.

Sweet! This is so worth the 1,000 gp of revivify. It is only upon donning it afterall - I just need to make sure I'm around a really good cleric or favored soul friend. :smalltongue:

brian c
2007-08-14, 08:38 PM
Sweet! This is so worth the 1,000 gp of revivify. It is only upon donning it afterall - I just need to make sure I'm around a really good cleric or favored soul friend. :smalltongue:

Finally, a use for Regenerate! First you need to use Regenerate to reattach your head, then Raise Dead to bring you back to life. As long as you keep the helmet on all the time, you get the benefits!

Jothki
2007-08-14, 08:45 PM
Shouldn't they prevent Dark?

Wait. Wrong game :smallwink:.

If you're playing FFVI, they still do nothing.

Actually, the samurai armor thing sounds like it would be an interesting idea for a cursed item if it's slightly modified. +4 to bluff checks, but you have to roll sense motive against yourself or you believe that you were telling the truth. Maybe extend that to everyone who can hear you even if they know you're lying.

Everyman
2007-08-14, 08:54 PM
Wonderful Wonderous Wonder of Wonder
This small trinket appears to be nothing more than a long stick with glittering dust stuck on one end. However, an informed user gains a variety of powers which are so awesome that the gods themselves quake in fear just thinking about it. The WWWoW can not be broken, burned, discolored, transmuted, or otherwise harmed in any way. If a wielder waves the WWWoW in the air and mutters as a full-round action, they gain the ability to use Prestidigitation for as long as they wave the wand. Any chaotic child that picks up the WWWoW and does the same thing can invoke the power of a Miracle spell instead. In addition, such a child is rendered invulnerable during this period and for one hour afterwards and gains a +30 bonus to avoid being disarmed.

If the WWWoW should ever be devoured or otherwise placed in a situation where it in inaccessible to mortals, it immediately appears in the possession of a young kender child of the appropriate alignment.

OMG Universal; CL 20th; Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation, Miracle; price 100,000,000,000,001 gp; weight: 1/2 lbs.

Jothki
2007-08-14, 08:54 PM
Finally, a use for Regenerate! First you need to use Regenerate to reattach your head, then Raise Dead to bring you back to life. As long as you keep the helmet on all the time, you get the benefits!

The best part is, it's cursed! You don't even need to worry about it being removed!

Reinboom
2007-08-14, 09:14 PM
Scrap Parchment of Eulerster the Magnificent
This seemingly mundane piece of parchment is, in reality, the glory of all math test takers world wide. Upon applying any sort of mathematical equation with any variable written as "?" causes the parchment to quickly form out the solution - if possible to do with mathematics normally taught of up to calculus level - on to a clean part of the parchment in the writers own style of handwriting. Each step in the solution is clearly shown. The parchment cleans itself every 30 minutes. If there is not enough room on the parchment to write out the solution in any size (down to 4 point), then the parchment will explode in a blast of ink - requiring all within 5' to make a DC 17 reflex save or become blinded for 1d4+1 rounds.
Faint transmutation aura; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, Fox's Cunning; Price 2,000 gp.

psychoticbarber
2007-08-14, 09:15 PM
If you're playing FFVI, they still do nothing.


Actually I found them useful once. The first fight with Ultros.

The Wonderful Magical Mister Mistopheles
Only good once. You put this small black and white cat under a sheet, and it turns into an old fat cat.

RAGE KING!
2007-08-14, 09:19 PM
donut of tastiness
a big donut that tastes REALLY good

price:1,000,000 GP Weight: 20 lbs.

That kicks, I would totally buy that if i had an epic char.

- on second thought, id buy the regenerating one.

Orzel
2007-08-14, 09:31 PM
Boots of Fashion

These boots always match your clothes gaining you a +4 bonus to on all Bluff, Diplomacy, Gather Information, Intimidate, and Perform checks made to interact with member of the opposite sex for 7 seconds after meeting them.

Faint illusion; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, color spray; Price 2500 gp; Weight 1 lb.

brian c
2007-08-14, 09:32 PM
Scrap Parchment of Eulerster the Magnificent
This seemingly mundane piece of parchment is, in reality, the glory of all math test takers world wide. Upon applying any sort of mathematical equation with any variable written as "?" causes the parchment to quickly form out the solution - if possible to do with mathematics normally taught of up to calculus level - on to a clean part of the parchment in the writers own style of handwriting. Each step in the solution is clearly shown. The parchment cleans itself every 30 minutes. If there is not enough room on the parchment to write out the solution in any size (down to 4 point), then the parchment will explode in a blast of ink - requiring all within 5' to make a DC 17 reflex save or become blinded for 1d4+1 rounds.
Faint transmutation aura; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, Fox's Cunning; Price 2,000 gp.

Best. Magic. Item. Evar.

(If you're playing Sigil Prep)

Inyssius Tor
2007-08-14, 09:41 PM
Vorpal Helmet

This beautifully-crafted helmet changes size to adapt to the current holder. This helmet adds +10 to AC and grants a +5 bonus to Wisdom and Charisma modifiers. Upon donning the helmet, the wearer is decapitated.

This item is considered cursed. Obviously.

http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/mmiii_gallery/83020.jpg
waffle falafel for filler hooray

Iku Rex
2007-08-14, 09:43 PM
Upon looking through the collection of "invisible" tagged pics at ICHC I got a couple of ideas for goggles. :smallsmile:

Goggles of invisibility

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/01/2001155862081208266_rs.jpgThese goggles are opaque and render the wearer effectively blind. However, as long as they are worn the wearer believes that he is invisible and nothing can change this belief until the goggles are removed.

Faint enchantment; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, suggestion; Price 1,000 gp.

Goggles of unsee visible
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/invisible-everything.jpgA pair of goggles of unsee visible makes all creatures and objects smaller than Colossal invisible to the wearer. This has no effect on anyone not wearing the goggles.

Faint illusion; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, silent image; Price 500 gp.

Logic
2007-08-14, 09:45 PM
Backpack of Useful but Innopportune Items
Any mundane tool measuring less than 3 feet in length and capable of fitting through the opening in the bag (roughly 2 foot diameter circle) is contained in this brown sheepskin bag. The best tool for any job is never selected when the user attempt to retrieve one from the bag, instead, one that can accomplish the task through creative use will be pulled out. Occasionally a tool will pop out at the wrong moment (such as when talking to the city watch about lockpicks, and a set of masterworks theives tools falls out of the bag.)

(I am new to creating magic items, so the game statisic stuff will be up to you, the reader.)

Arameus
2007-08-14, 10:05 PM
Sweet! This is so worth the 1,000 gp of revivify. It is only upon donning it afterall - I just need to make sure I'm around a really good cleric or favored soul friend. :smalltongue:


Finally, a use for Regenerate! First you need to use Regenerate to reattach your head, then Raise Dead to bring you back to life. As long as you keep the helmet on all the time, you get the benefits!


The best part is, it's cursed! You don't even need to worry about it being removed!

Precisely. It could be useful, but really, how many people that happen upon this thing aren't going to at least slip it on first off? You could possibly make use of it, and even lift the curse, but the curse is very powerful and making use of it without removing the curse is... complicated, as you can see. Would you, or even your character, really want to do this? And this assumes that the curse is even known; it's most likely that the helmet is just slipped on with a world of possibilities in mind and cuts off the poor idiot's head.

Truth be told, I don't know much about the minutia of all this; I really just know a few D&D phrases and a little about the system. Which is probably true of most players, from what I hear *zing!*. But even so, imagine if it was just something your party found in a wizard's tower somewhere. Or, more likely, on the severed head of a former adventurer. Yeah, unless you're higher level or really suspicious, you'll be short a tank or cleric at least temporarily.

It's also a blast at parties!

Inyssius Tor
2007-08-14, 10:12 PM
Or you could play a Lumi!

EDIT: And more likely, you would find it on a decapitated adventurer atop a big pile of decapitated adventurers.

Prince_of_Blades
2007-08-14, 10:23 PM
Gold Piece of Multiplication
Upon pressing on this coin as a standard action, it expends the magic it possesses and creates three mundane gold pieces that look identical to the original piece.

Faint Universal; CL 1; Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation; Price: 10 gp

DaMullet
2007-08-14, 10:35 PM
Dagger of Healing

This +1 Merciful Throwing Dagger has the additional effect of casting Cure Minor Wounds on the target.
*I don't know about the beans, and I don't care too much."

Stick
This item is brown and sticky.

PlasticSoldier
2007-08-14, 10:41 PM
Shroedinger's Cat

Looks and acts like a normal cat but if the owner ever looks away it turns greater invisible and appears dead to all but the owner (who can't see it) the invisibility and deadness can only be reversed by putting it in a box.

Faint Illusion CL 10 50 gp

Paragon Badger
2007-08-14, 10:54 PM
Baby of Wonder

Babies are well known and loved by many people. They are less well known and less well loved by adventurers. In fact, they are well feared comedic devices inflicted upon unsuspecting adventurers by tyrannical DMs. Many consider them cursed items, while others consider them treasures.

Any adventuring party possessing a Baby of Wonder does not sleep well. The baby's inconsolable cries keep everyone up at night. The party begins every day fatigued and arcane casters do not rest well enough to regain spells.

In addition to giving a party sleepless nights, the baby produces random effects each round during combat and social encounters.

On a d10:

1. Nothing
2. Stinking cloud
3. Sound burst
4. Touch of idiocy
5. Glossolalia
6. Confusion
7. Hypnotic pattern
8. Daze monster
9. Enthrall
10. Roll twice (rerolling this result)

All results effect random targets or directions. Area of Effects are always centered on the Baby of Wonder. All effects are considered to have a caster level of six, and the effects have a save DC of Spell Level + 14. These effects are not actually magical.

The party can rest for eight hours by use of the lullaby cantrip, which places the baby into a deep slumber. The baby can be "disabled" for one minute per level by use of the calm emotions spell.

Cost: Priceless


If only I could claim credit for this:

http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Baby_of_Wonder_%28DnD_Equipment%29

Inyssius Tor
2007-08-14, 11:33 PM
Fish
....This exotic special material is mined in bodies of water; fish weapons and armor are covered in scales, filled with meat and small bones, and adorned with eyes, fins, and generally a single mouth.

Any item made fish gains a +2 bonus on any Charisma-based roll made to influence creatures with the (Aquatic) subtype, and also gains a 30 ft. swim speed. Weapons and armor made fish cost a quarter again as much to make as their normal counterparts. Any magical enhancements added to a fish item cost an additional 95 gp.

Fish has between 1 and 8 hit points per HD and hardness 2. (Light weapons have 1/4 HD, one-handed weapons and light armor have 1/2 HD, two-handed weapons and medium armor have 1 HD, and heavy armor has 2 HD.)

Xuincherguixe
2007-08-14, 11:37 PM
Empty Box of existentialism

This appears to be an ordinary box, but if one attempts to look at it in detail they must make a Will 25 check. If they fail they begin to question their own existence. Every hour for the next four hours they must make a Will 30 check. If any of these fail the character ceases to exist, and cannot be brought back from the dead. A wish or miracle may bring them back, as these spells alter reality.

This item is considered cursed.

(Probably should be an artifact too.)

dr.cello
2007-08-15, 12:03 AM
Housebreaking Harness
Used for housebreaking pets. If a pet attempts to defecate or urinate and the wearer is aware of it, instantly teleports the pet to a litter box/outside (wearer's choice).

Xuincherguixe: House of leaves for the win!

Xuincherguixe
2007-08-15, 12:07 AM
I actually haven't read it. A friend of mine got a copy of it that some time I'm going to have to give a stab at.

I think I did something similar to this item before and another poster made a comment about a house. So now it's going to be one of my many running jokes. (I have a lot of them. Most make no sense even with context.)

JadedDM
2007-08-15, 12:32 AM
Actually I found them useful once. The first fight with Ultros.

The joke was that Dark was actually useless. Due to a glitch in the original game, it didn't actually do anything. It was supposed to lower your accuracy, but it did not. So since the only thing Goggles were good for was protecting you from Dark, they were worthless.

Wraithy
2007-08-15, 04:39 AM
"Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness
A rather large donut that tastes REALLY good.
After 24 hours of complete consumption, with or without the inclusion of crumbs, the "Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness regenerates in full tastiness and freshness. The location of regeneration is dependent on the location the consumers 'left it'.
This donut is immune to being effected by anything that would alter the taste, such as dirt or other foul ingredients that may effect it. Such ingredients simply fall off.
Faint Universal magical aura; Price: 1,000,001 GP; CL 1st; Profession(Chef) of at least 20 ranks, Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation. Weight: 20 lbs.

a tasty solution to all of your poison gas problems, this should be an armour property too.

Reinboom
2007-08-15, 04:49 AM
Planar Prank Jug of Water
A rather refreshing looking glass jug of water that, no matter how much is tipped out, refills instantaneously. When tipping the jug, the circular opening at the top opens a small planar shift for the water that empties it out into a random plane. If the side of the jug is to be penetrated in any way, all magic from the jug is suppressed until the jug is repaired. The opening at the top prevents all entrance via magical means.
Whenever water is emptied from the jug and thus into a plane with intelligent creatures, the water will spill out onto the head (or equivalent) of one of these creatures and a short viewing of the event will be projecter into the holder of the jug's mind. If the creature of which the water spills on has a means of reaching the holder's plane of existence or otherwise meeting the holder, the base reaction will be that of unfriendly. Creatures with the fire subtype are always hostile. Creatures with the water subtype are always friendly and bare a 25% chance of becoming attracted to who used the jug.
The creation of the jug involves careful retracing of a summoning spell and thus a DC 17 spellcraft check. An additional 200 gp of resources must be expended and another day of crafting must be used for each spellcraft failed spellcraft check in this manner.
Faint Conjuration aura, Moderate Divination aura; CL 7th; Craft Wondrous Item, Scrying, Create Water, any spell with the summoning subtype; Price: 14,000 gp.

Nebnezz
2007-08-15, 05:57 AM
Fax, was your first a simpsons reference? cause thats the first thing i thought of...

"De Goggles...DAY DO NOTHING!!!"

sorry if someone point this out already, i kinda skimmed most of these and didnt see it.

Kurald Galain
2007-08-15, 07:22 AM
Ring of Invisibility

When worn, this ring confers invisibility to itself.

13_CBS
2007-08-15, 10:44 AM
Pseudo-Spice

This brown, dust-like substance smells like cinammon to you, except a bit more. Not too much more, bit a bit more. But eat it quickly! For the spice must flow.

When consumed, the Pseudo-Spice grants the eater the ability to spout ominous quotes from the novel Dune. He may do this once per round as a free action.

As a side effect, the eater's eyes gain a shiny blue color. They do not grant any abilities or give off extra, useful light.

its_all_ogre
2007-08-15, 11:11 AM
ring of striking: this magical ring is renowned for enabling poor warriors to fight extremely effectively.

anyone within 100 ft of the wearer of this ring gets +10 attack bonus as an un-named bonus, the wearer gets a +5 bonus.
cursed item

Golthur
2007-08-15, 11:12 AM
Portable Cup
This 3-inch diameter circular piece of cloth, like the portable hole, opens up into an extradimensional space when spread on any surface. However, the space opened into is sufficient to hold approximately one cup of material. When the cloth is picked up or folded up, the entrance to the space vanishes.

Citizen Joe
2007-08-15, 11:28 AM
Gold Piece of Multiplication
Upon pressing on this coin as a standard action, it expends the magic it possesses and creates three mundane gold pieces that look identical to the original piece.

Faint Universal; CL 1; Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation; Price: 10 gp

Ironically, this can be abused a bit. The price is 10 gp, but the material cost is only half of that... i.e. 5 gp.

Now you will be soaking alot of time to make these and it will net a 40% loss, however it does allow you to carry three times the normal amount of gold coins.

I'm not quite sure quite how, but I'm sure it could be used in a con game some how.

Telonius
2007-08-15, 11:34 AM
Zeno's Turtle

This small green statue of a turtle seems unobtrusive, but is a boon to cowards. A character may activate it by challenging a target creature to a race as an immediate action (Mind-affecting, language-dependent). As part of the immediate action, the character takes a five foot step. The character must take off running in the next round. The target creature is unable to pursue the character, since it believes that in order to overtake the character, it must first get halfway to where the character was when they started. But in order to get there, the target has to get halfway to the halfway point ... This effect is broken when the character stops running.

Gralamin
2007-08-15, 11:40 AM
Ironically, this can be abused a bit. The price is 10 gp, but the material cost is only half of that... i.e. 5 gp.

Now you will be soaking alot of time to make these and it will net a 40% loss, however it does allow you to carry three times the normal amount of gold coins.

I'm not quite sure quite how, but I'm sure it could be used in a con game some how.

With the Extraordinary Artificer, You can make it for 3 gold, 7 sp, 5 copper pieces. That makes your net gain 2 sp, 5 copper pieces for each one you make.

At level 3, when you can take this feat, lets assume you had half your wealth in gold (About 1350 gp)
1350/3.75 = 360 coins
360*4 = 1440 gp.
Net gain so far: 90 gp.
Not only did this take you about a day and a third to craft to get 90 gp, but it takes you a standard action to activate each of them. There is 6 seconds in a round, and you may make 1 standard action each round, that means this takes 2160 seconds to split, or 36 minutes.

Further amounts may be extrapolated with the recursive definition:
XT=(XT-1/3.75)(4)

Wolf_Shade
2007-08-15, 11:41 AM
Tunic of Wonder
The wearer gives off a magical aura as if they were a wonderous item.

Citizen Joe
2007-08-15, 11:59 AM
With the Extraordinary Artificer, You can make it for 3 gold, 7 sp, 5 copper pieces. That makes your net gain 2 sp, 5 copper pieces for each one you make.

At level 3, when you can take this feat, lets assume you had half your wealth in gold (About 1350 gp)
1350/3.75 = 360 coins
360*4 = 1440 gp.
Net gain so far: 90 gp.
Not only did this take you about a day and a third to craft to get 90 gp, but it takes you a standard action to activate each of them. There is 6 seconds in a round, and you may make 1 standard action each round, that means this takes 2160 seconds to split, or 36 minutes.

Further amounts may be extrapolated with the recursive definition:
XT=(XT-1/3.75)(4)

I had forgotten that you could use the expended coin as a regular coin. Note that you are restricted to 1000 gp value per day to craft items. So that limits you to 100 coins per day so 25 gp profit per day. You're also spending 40 XP per day to do it.

slexlollar89
2007-08-15, 01:48 PM
sword of slashing:

this cursed +1 longsword gives the weilder a -1 on all attack and dmg rolls made with the weapon. in addition, it deals slashing damage.

moderate transmutation, keen edge, CL 3

Damage Control
2007-08-15, 03:29 PM
"Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness
A rather large donut that tastes REALLY good.
After 24 hours of complete consumption, with or without the inclusion of crumbs, the "Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness regenerates in full tastiness and freshness. The location of regeneration is dependent on the location the consumers 'left it'.
This donut is immune to being effected by anything that would alter the taste, such as dirt or other foul ingredients that may effect it. Such ingredients simply fall off.
Faint Universal magical aura; Price: 1,000,001 GP; CL 1st; Profession(Chef) of at least 20 ranks, Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation. Weight: 20 lbs.

Regenerating Donut Armor
This suit of armor is a delicious pastry that repels anything that would affect the taste negatively (DR 15/powdered sugar). Regular clothing can not be worn under this armor, because adventurers do not wash their clothes enough. Seriously, ew.

Such magical deliciousness brought in such close proximity to the wearer is almost too much to bear. Each time the damage reducing effect of this armor is used/every hour since the wearer's last encounter, the wearer must make Fortitude, Reflex, and Will saves (DC 15) to avoid taking bites. Each failed save takes a bite off the donut, reducing the damage reduction by one. When the damage reduction is reduced to 0, the armor is destroyed for 24 hours, leaving the wearer naked for everyone to laugh at, assuming they weren't laughing at him for wearing a donut in the first place. Upon regeneration, the armor reappears on the wearer if they are naked; otherwise, it floats in front of him mysteriously until he takes a bite or puts it on.

Delaney Gale
2007-08-15, 09:41 PM
My best friend in high school had innumerable 2nd edition books, including a sort of magic item compendium. I remember this one to this day.

Omelet of the Planes
A rather tasteless omelet that comes in a white styrofoam container. Although filling, anyone who eats it is nauseated.

Volug
2007-08-15, 10:25 PM
Regenerating Donut Armor
This suit of armor is a delicious pastry that repels anything that would affect the taste negatively (DR 15/powdered sugar). Regular clothing can not be worn under this armor, because adventurers do not wash their clothes enough. Seriously, ew.

Such magical deliciousness brought in such close proximity to the wearer is almost too much to bear. Each time the damage reducing effect of this armor is used/every hour since the wearer's last encounter, the wearer must make Fortitude, Reflex, and Will saves (DC 15) to avoid taking bites. Each failed save takes a bite off the donut, reducing the damage reduction by one. When the damage reduction is reduced to 0, the armor is destroyed for 24 hours, leaving the wearer naked for everyone to laugh at, assuming they weren't laughing at him for wearing a donut in the first place. Upon regeneration, the armor reappears on the wearer if they are naked; otherwise, it floats in front of him mysteriously until he takes a bite or puts it on.

all this started after "MY" donut idea!??! wow.....

Leper_Kahn
2007-08-15, 11:18 PM
I love this one. It's similar to the socks from above, but this one made an actual appearance in a game.

Sword of the Ancestors

The Sword of the Ancestors is always polished and sharp as long as the owner is polishing and sharpening it. If the owner fails to do these things the Ancestors get angry and let the sword get dull and unpolished at the same rate as a non-magical sword would. The Ancestors have placed a layer of protection on the sword so it doesn't detect as magic.

Roderick_BR
2007-08-17, 07:10 AM
Ring of Invisibility

When worn, this ring confers invisibility to itself.
Helmet of invisibility.
When worn, it grants invisibility to the wearer. Except itself.

"Dude, a flying helmet."
"Hit it with the hammer to see what happens."

Good to play ghost pranks, if you use a blanket on top of it

"A ghost!"
"Nah, it's not, it's just a guy with a blanket on. Check this."
*Checks*
"Crap! There's only a helmet floating down there! Run!"

TK-Squared
2007-08-17, 07:17 AM
Black Goggles
Everything else is invisible to you.

Irreverent Fool
2007-08-17, 07:20 AM
My best friend in high school had innumerable 2nd edition books, including a sort of magic item compendium. I remember this one to this day.

Omelet of the Planes
A rather tasteless omelet that comes in a white styrofoam container. Although filling, anyone who eats it is nauseated.

A sort of magic item compendium? I wonder if you are in fact referring to the illustrious Encyclopedia Magica the four-volume set of items compiled from published adventure supplements, campaign settings, Dragon Magazine, and god-knows-where else. If not, it's too bad.

Telonius
2007-08-17, 12:36 PM
"Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness
A rather large donut that tastes REALLY good.
After 24 hours of complete consumption, with or without the inclusion of crumbs, the "Regenerating" Donut of Tastiness regenerates in full tastiness and freshness. The location of regeneration is dependent on the location the consumers 'left it'.
This donut is immune to being effected by anything that would alter the taste, such as dirt or other foul ingredients that may effect it. Such ingredients simply fall off.
Faint Universal magical aura; Price: 1,000,001 GP; CL 1st; Profession(Chef) of at least 20 ranks, Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation. Weight: 20 lbs.

Forbidden Donut of Tastiness

Same properties as the "Regenerating Donut of Tastiness," with one exception. The donut is cursed. The curse is undetectable except by the use of an "Analyze Dweomer" spell. Upon taking the first bite out of the donut, a Lord of the Nine Hells is summoned. (EDIT: There were rumored to be nine of these donuts created, one for each Lord of the Nine Hells. Roll d10 to determine randomly which one, reroll on a 10.) He offers to allow the character to continue consuming the donut in exchange for - his soul! The character must make a DC 40 Will save in order to resist the donut's delicious lure. A successful check banishes the Devil, who takes his donut with him back to Baator.

Faint Universal magical aura; Price: 6,666,666 GP; CL 20th; Profession(Chef) of at least 20 ranks, Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation, Bestow Curse, Suggestion, Trap the Soul, Plane Shift. Weight: 20 lbs

Wamba the Fool
2007-08-17, 10:29 PM
Ring of Magic Weapon

The wearer of this ring causes +1 damage when he is used as a weapon.

(Hulking Hurler + Halflings wearing two Rings of Magic Weapon, anyone?)

Beren One-Hand
2007-08-17, 11:17 PM
Ironically, this can be abused a bit. The price is 10 gp, but the material cost is only half of that... i.e. 5 gp.

Now you will be soaking alot of time to make these and it will net a 40% loss, however it does allow you to carry three times the normal amount of gold coins.

I'm not quite sure quite how, but I'm sure it could be used in a con game some how.

How about this, after making about 20 coins you enter a small town and start flashing your 'growing' money. Once everybody is interested you let them 'talk you into' telling them how it works. Tell them there's a magic stump a little ways into the forest that makes any coins placed into the hollow with one of these coins as a 'seed' and left overnight able to duplicate themselves, providied the process is not watched - the faries are very particular about it. Once the townspeople have emptied their life savings you sneak out, take the coins, and hightail it out of there.

Insert Name Here
2007-08-17, 11:38 PM
Staff of Disintegration
"Well, what do you know, it disintegrated!"
Strong Transmutation, Disintegrate, Spell Turning, Craft Staff, Price the inconvenience of battle

Robe of The Wrong item
This robe appears to be a regular robe with many pockets. However, whenever a certain item is mentioned to be taboo, forbidden, or otherwise troublesome, said item slips out of one of the pockets. If the item is too large, the robe instead sends out a miniature replica of it. This is a cursed item.
Strong Conjuration, Major Creation, Bestow Curse, Craft Wondrous item. Caster must not have any ranks in diplomacy, cost depends on who's selling it (From negatives to knowledgeable people to positives for ignorant ones)

Krimm_Blackleaf
2007-08-17, 11:46 PM
Armor of True Striking
This +1 full plate armor has been enchanted with a constant true strike spell. All attacks against it's wearer gain a +20 insight bonus to their attack rolls, just as the true strike spell.
CL: 5th, Faint Divination; Craft Magical Arms and Armor, true strike;Cost: 8,135gp

TK-Squared
2007-08-18, 05:54 AM
Monk's Full Plate of Speed

This Full Plate is only useful while donned by a Monk. The armour empowers the Monk with a burst of insightful power; increasing their Flurry of Blows, AC Bonus and Speed Bonus as though they were 5 levels higher. Also, the Monk is so enlightened, they can add their Wisdom modifier to their armour twice.

CL: 10th; Craft Wonderous Item, Righteous Might or Transformation; Price: 45,000 GP

EntilZha
2007-08-18, 07:50 AM
Black Goggles
Everything else is invisible to you.

Or how About:

Goggles of Fear Prevention

These appear to be normal goggles to their wearer. However, at the first sign of trouble they become totally opaque, and thus prevent the wearer from seeing anything that might frighten him.

Faint necromancy; CL: 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, blindness/deafness; Price 12,000 gp

(for all us Hitch Hiker's fans)

EntilZha
2007-08-18, 07:58 AM
Many years ago I was in a campaign with some of my friends and we found this magical glove, which our DM told us was a cursed glove of masturbation (wearer is continuously compelled to....well, you know). For whatever reason, I held on to the prurient item, until we had a confrontation with the evil wizard who was our primary foil. While parlaying with him my character presented it to him and said it was a glove of Ultimate Power, and I would give it to him if he'd spare us. And of course, the other players played it up, "No, don't do it!!", etc, etc. The wizard took it, put it on and....well, let's just say he succeeded brilliantly on every grapple check he made involving his own crotch.

:smallbiggrin:

Damage Control
2007-08-18, 02:59 PM
Forbidden Donut of Tastiness

Same properties as the "Regenerating Donut of Tastiness," with one exception. The donut is cursed. The curse is undetectable except by the use of an "Analyze Dweomer" spell. Upon taking the first bite out of the donut, a Lord of the Nine Hells is summoned. (EDIT: There were rumored to be nine of these donuts created, one for each Lord of the Nine Hells. Roll d10 to determine randomly which one, reroll on a 10.) He offers to allow the character to continue consuming the donut in exchange for - his soul! The character must make a DC 40 Will save in order to resist the donut's delicious lure. A successful check banishes the Devil, who takes his donut with him back to Baator.

Faint Universal magical aura; Price: 6,666,666 GP; CL 20th; Profession(Chef) of at least 20 ranks, Craft Wondrous Item, Prestidigitation, Bestow Curse, Suggestion, Trap the Soul, Plane Shift. Weight: 20 lbsIf you say "d'oh!" at any time during this process, rocks fall and everyone dies.

knightsaline
2007-12-15, 07:06 PM
Toadstool of Badgers

This item summons 11 or 12 badgers. All they do is dance. when you use this item, roll a d2 (a coin!) on a roll of a 2, the toadstool summons snakes instead of badgers. The snakes just slither away, doing nothing.

Katana of Seppaku

This ornately detailed bastard sword works normally for anyone except those with levels of samurai. In the case of those with levels of samurai, if they ever become ex samurai by dishonoring their lord, they must make a DC 30 will save or commit seppaku

Obviously cursed

Armor if invisibility
Its invisible!

Yami
2007-12-16, 02:03 AM
You know, samurai wouldn't really use thier katana for seppuku. Too long.

But nice job on helping thin out the ever prevalent Samurai overpopulation problem

Jack Zander
2007-12-16, 02:10 AM
Good job with the threadomancy too. Especially since we have a similar new thread to post in.

dr awesome phd
2007-12-16, 01:11 PM
Bag of Cute Mechanotherapy

The Bag of Cute Mechanotherapy appears to both the trained eye, and the untrained eye as a bag with elaborate kittens embroidery. As a full round action you may look inside the bag. Inside is a small Kitten Construct. Upon viewing the kitten, a player must rolled 1d100 to determine the outcome of the action.

1-10: Kitten Purrs, gain +1 Fuzzy Bonus to Snuggle checks
11-100: DM's Discretion.

CL: 10th; Craft Useless Item, Price: 500 GP

GolemsVoice
2007-12-16, 01:19 PM
Schrödinger's Box
This simple wooden box is rigged with magical research devices, yet, somehow, none of them seem to measure anything going on inside the box. This magic item is activated by putting a cat in it. Afterwrds, the user must say the following mystical words: "I wonder what has happened to the cat?". Then, roll a d20. 1-9 the cat is dead on reopening, 10-18 the cat is dead, 19, the cat is alive and bloody furious, 20, the cat has turned into a quantuum abomination, which exists both on this plane AND on all other planes.
CL: 20, or 1, maybe Craft Quantuum Device

dr awesome phd
2007-12-16, 01:28 PM
Does that work with Cat Constructs? If so, I think a new item combo has just been born!

/scaredofquantuumkitties

Jack_Simth
2007-12-16, 02:59 PM
Not only did this take you about a day and a third to craft to get 90 gp
Slight problem....

Creating an item requires one day per 1,000 gp in the item’s base price, with a minimum of at least one day.
You make one per day, and it takes you all day.

Robe of The Wrong item
This robe appears to be a regular robe with many pockets. However, whenever a certain item is mentioned to be taboo, forbidden, or otherwise troublesome, said item slips out of one of the pockets. If the item is too large, the robe instead sends out a miniature replica of it. This is a cursed item.
Strong Conjuration, Major Creation, Bestow Curse, Craft Wondrous item. Caster must not have any ranks in diplomacy, cost depends on who's selling it (From negatives to knowledgeable people to positives for ignorant ones)
If you know what it is, it's a great item. Keep talking amongst your friends about various trade-good items that are forbidden elsewhere.

Keep it sealed away at other times.

Nijik
2007-12-16, 03:28 PM
The mighty stone of indestructible-ness!

The seemingly normal stone is completely indestructable, bouces off any magic effect and is immune to everything, ever. Otherwise, it's just a normal stone.


I actually used that in my campain once, the player kept the stone for the whole campain, it was just a random rock in a field that emanated of artifact-level magic. Good times.

dr awesome phd
2007-12-16, 03:41 PM
Now then, if only there was some way to use this rock... perhaps if I was to fashion a rudimentary lathe...

Zenos
2007-12-16, 03:45 PM
Realy cute puppy/kitten

This Tiny canine/feline is not actualy a magic item, but an enchanted animal. It may once per day cast mass charm monster and at will it may cast charm person. Both of these abilities are at DC 37. However, it will not use this ability for anything else than to get cookies/bones/beef and it cannot be directed by the wielder.

Rolaran
2007-12-16, 04:00 PM
=5 Sword

The result of a celestial typo, this sword appears to be a +5 sword. However, rather than adding +5 to attack and damage rolls, it causes them to equal 5. Exactly. The sword automatically misses anything with an AC higher than 5; should it actually hit something, it deals exactly 5 points of damage.

Ring of Free Movement

As soon as the wearer stops paying attention to it, it "freely moves" off his finger and onto the ground.

Blaming Burst Longsword

Whenever this sword critically misses, it explodes into a flurry of critiques of its wielder's stance and fighting style, as well as questioning his salary, his manhood and his vision. The wielder must make a Will Save (DC 20) or start crying.

Tome of "Complete Warrior"

This appears to be an ordinary book, detailing methods of creating a warrior-type character in a fictional game. However, it is trapped; pages 8-11 detail a class that sounds reasonably interesting and flavorful. Anyone attempting to create a character with this class is rendered totally ineffective (no save) and suffers the ridicule of the denizens of the internet.

dr awesome phd
2007-12-16, 04:09 PM
I laughed so hard at that I almost fell out a window...

/that was awesome

Kami2awa
2007-12-16, 04:25 PM
ring of striking: this magical ring is renowned for enabling poor warriors to fight extremely effectively.

anyone within 100 ft of the wearer of this ring gets +10 attack bonus as an un-named bonus, the wearer gets a +5 bonus.
cursed item

Or,

Ring of Striking

Anyone who dons this ring refuses to do whatever their normal job is. For instance, a fighter donning it refuses to fight anything, a wizard will not cast spells, etc. The curse can only be broken by offering them a greater reward than they normally get for their "job"; e.g. a bigger share of the party's treasure. Even then, the person offering the reward must succeed on a DC 25 Diplomacy check to lift the strike.

martyboy74
2007-12-16, 04:27 PM
What if you have a gish? What happens then?

Kami2awa
2007-12-16, 04:37 PM
What if you have a gish? What happens then?

Whats a gish?

Spiryt
2007-12-16, 04:58 PM
=5 Sword
The result of a celestial typo, this sword appears to be a +5 sword. However, rather than adding +5 to attack and damage rolls, it causes them to equal 5. Exactly. The sword automatically misses anything with an AC higher than 5; should it actually hit something, it deals exactly 5 points of damage.

Blaming Burst Longsword

Whenever this sword critically misses, it explodes into a flurry of critiques of its wielder's stance and fighting style, as well as questioning his salary, his manhood and his vision. The wielder must make a Will Save (DC 20) or start crying.

Tome of "Complete Warrior"

This appears to be an ordinary book, detailing methods of creating a warrior-type character in a fictional game. However, it is trapped; pages 8-11 detail a class that sounds reasonably interesting and flavorful. Anyone attempting to create a character with this class is rendered totally ineffective (no save) and suffers the ridicule of the denizens of the internet.

You had won, sir.

Lord Tataraus
2007-12-16, 05:26 PM
Whats a gish?

My I suggest this thread? (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18512)


- Gish: A fighter/wizard multiclass character, specifically one capable of casting higher level spells and surviving melee combat. May also be broadened to refer to any combination of warrior/arcane (or psionic caster) classes. Hybrid classes such as bards, duskblades, hexblades, and psychic warriors are generally not considered examples (multiclass characters only). Originates from the term for a Githyanki war wizard (in 2e, a fighter/wizard or rogue/wizard).

Kami2awa
2007-12-16, 05:47 PM
My I suggest this thread? (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18512)

Then he stops doing both I suppose. He's on strike.

Green Bean
2007-12-16, 06:00 PM
Cloak of Flames

On its own, this item takes the form of a bright red traveller's cloak. When donned however, the cloak immediately bursts into flames. These flames deal 6 points of fire damage per turn. The fire is magical in nature, and thus does not harm anyone other the wearer, nor does it set objects alight. The wearer gains Resistance to Fire 6.

Balkash
2007-12-16, 06:13 PM
Vorpal Helmet

This beautifully-crafted helmet changes size to adapt to the current holder. This helmet adds +10 to AC and grants a +5 bonus to Wisdom and Charisma modifiers. Upon donning the helmet, the wearer is decapitated.

This item is considered cursed. Obviously.


Actually this would be amazing for my demilich...

BRC
2007-12-16, 06:24 PM
Cloak Of Billowing: this animated cloak billows dramatically behind it's wearer no matter the level.
Sunglasses of Dramatic Removal: these sunglasses grant a +5 on checks to remove them to punctuate a dramatic point.
+X Longsword
A fighter is charging an ogre at speed X, the ogre is (X+3)/6 feet away, and the fighter will reach him in 2 turns, find X than Add it as an enhancement bonus to the wielders attack.
Blade of Booya: this otherwise normal longsword is capable of speech, however all it does is say "BOOYA", "WHAT NOW PUNK", "OWNED" or a similar phrase whenever it downs an enemy.
Pacafist's Axe: this otherwise unmagical battle axe becomes a +12 double keen (threat range quadrupled) Vorpal Battle axe on the round it is activated. activating the axe is a full-round action.

tyckspoon
2007-12-16, 06:27 PM
Dead Mans Axe: this otherwise unmagical battle axe becomes a +12 double keen (threat range quadrupled) Vorpal Battle axe if the wielder is below -10 hit points.

Because Frenzied Berserkers weren't killy enough yet.

BRC
2007-12-16, 06:37 PM
Because Frenzied Berserkers weren't killy enough yet.

frenzied bezerkers can fight past -10?

Lord Tataraus
2007-12-16, 06:39 PM
frenzied bezerkers can fight past -10?

A Frenzied Berserker cannot die due to hit point damage while frenzied. Afterwards, however, is a different story...

tyckspoon
2007-12-16, 06:42 PM
frenzied bezerkers can fight past -10?

*nod* Deathless Frenzy. They can go as negative as they want while they're in Frenzy. One of the few situations where the drowning recovery loophole has a practical game application, since the Berserker could rack up negatives in the hundreds and wind up beyond the reach of Heal.

BRC
2007-12-16, 06:42 PM
I see, Changed it.

The Glyphstone
2007-12-16, 08:29 PM
Not just FB, but anyone if the cleric knows Delay Death....

the Pacifist's Axe is better - until it gets into the hands of a Warmage or other gish who casts Whirling Blade while holding it...since casting a spell is none of the conditions listed to stop it from activating, and axes do slashing damage.

Shraik
2007-12-16, 08:35 PM
Hawaiin Shirt of Hawaii


Prerequsite: Be at least 20 pounds over weight
This shirt provides +5 AC to the wearer for the sheer fact that the shirt looks so nice. This shirt provides immunity to water and an over-abundance of fat jokes. Everytime you enter water(even putting your finger ina glass of water), their is 50% chance that you will be attacked by a shark(it thinks the shirt is THAT cool). The Wearer is also immune to the effects of overheating(Becuase the shirt IS that cool). Provides no protection against the colorblind.

Prometheus
2007-12-16, 08:56 PM
Staff of Universal Balance
0 charge: Casts Open and Close simultaneously on the same target
1 charge: Casts Daylight and Darkness simultaneously on the same target
2 charges: Casts Haste and Slow simultaneously on the same target
3 charges: Casts Consecrate and Desecrate simultaneously on the same target.
4 charges: Casts two Dispel Magic spells simultaneously targeting each other.
10 charges: Casts two Wish spells, the first being your choice and the second retroactively undoing the first.
Unlimited Wand of Dominate Summons
Cast Dominate Monster, with the exception that it can only target summons you control.
Hammer of Time
An intelligent (debatably) item that right before it is swung, casts Time Stop on its own behalf. As a free action is shouts "Stop! Hammertime!" before proceeding to play U Can't Touch This until the spell's duration expires.

tyckspoon
2007-12-16, 09:04 PM
Hammer of Time
An intelligent (debatably) item that right before it is swung, casts Time Stop on its own behalf. As a free action is shouts "Stop! Hammertime!" before proceeding to play U Can't Touch This until the spell's duration expires.

For the duration of the Time Stop effect, the Hammer's wielder dances as if affected by Irresistible Dance.

Shiny, Bearer of the Pokystick
2007-12-16, 10:08 PM
Tome of Fulfilled Expectations
[Major Artifact]

This fantastically ornate book, projecting an aura of major Divination, is bound in purest silver and dragonhide; its pages are thin, sturdy plates of electrum.

The book's text appears to be in a language which, out of the immediately present persons, only its chosen bearer can read. If no such language exist, the book is written in Abyssal.

Any creature who reads the book, a process taking a total of forty-eight hours over a minimum of six days, gains a +4 inherent bonus to wisdom and the ability to use detect lies as a spell-like ability five times per day.

However, they are also unable to discard the Tome thereafter and enact its true power; the text is actually written in truespeech, and is designed to probe the mind of its bearer and revise reality accordingly.

If the bearer of a Tome of Fulfilled Expectations ever voices or even thinks a suspicion regarding a conspiracy, episode of subterfuge, or deception, that circumstance is instantaneously made real, retroactively.

Generally speaking, the tome has the following effects for a typical adventurer:

100% of grand viziers, trusted advisers, majordomos, prime ministers, heirs to the throne, and seconds-in-command treacherous.
100% of old women secretly hags.
90% of young women secretly Succubi. 10% Brachinae.
100% of all children met in the street, at night, or under other circumstances than with their parents present shape-shifting abberations.
100% of wise and impartial councils made up of illithilids.
90% of all heads of state of apparently good nations evil. 10% vampires.
75% of invitations to dinner, state functions, dances, or soirees traps. 15% of all such invitations actually human sacrifices. 10% of all such invitations attempts to destroy the universe.
100% of all graveyards, sepulchres, and funerary plains contain undead.
90% of all animals actually spellcasters. 10% of all animals secretly ancient forest deities.
100% of ancient forest deities inimical to human interference/presence.
100% of mysterious ancient ruins inhabited by monsters.


The tome may have other effects, but these are considered the most common.

martyboy74
2007-12-16, 10:09 PM
For the duration of the Time Stop effect, the Hammer's wielder dances as if affected by Irresistible Dance.

You do realize that said time is 'none', don't you?

Collin152
2007-12-16, 10:15 PM
Rather, infintessimally small; You aren't really stopping time, your just slowing it waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ay down.

tyckspoon
2007-12-16, 10:20 PM
You do realize that said time is 'none', don't you?

If the Hammer is only casting Time Stop on itself, yes. But then the only apparent thing it does is shout 'Stop! Hammertime!'; the music-playing effect happens only in the Hammer's apparent time, which nobody else can participate in or experience. I figured if you wanted to properly annoy the player who was carrying this, you would need the Time Stop to include the wielder so he could hear the music... but then you basically have an unlimited, use-activated Time Stop, which is really useful. Therefore the dancing.

Azerian Kelimon
2007-12-16, 10:27 PM
That one WINS! Someone should make a hammer to do "la super mario bros".

vanyell
2007-12-16, 10:34 PM
+2 puddingbane Spoon

A spoon that gives a +2 to deliciousness when fighting puddings

Collin152
2007-12-16, 10:44 PM
A Portable Hole
This shovel...

Portable H-
No. That "L" needs a job.

Portable Hose?

Portable Mole?

Lord Tataraus
2007-12-16, 11:00 PM
Portable Mole
This seemingly ordinary mole, while not malignant, is magical. Once worn, it attaches to its wearer until death and grants a +1 circumstance bonus to all diplomacy checks. However, due to its magical nature, the mole is never at the same place on the wearer's face twice. Every time some one is not looking, even if blinking, the mole moves at least 1/4 the way across the wearer's face. This unnerving movement causes a -1 penalty on diplomacy checks with the viewer.

Cookie for the reference.

Iudex Fatarum
2007-12-17, 12:14 AM
I just made an item for a campaign i'm in, its a sweet item, any time touched it activates, casting prestidigitation on the person touching. Its funny cause I tried to get other people in the party to use it but they don't trust me. oh its a small grey cube no markings, nothing.