Homebrew class, please critique

[rrwoods]

edit: incorporating suggestions from Grod
edit: realized i put S+P advancement at the wrong levels, also making capstone a little juicier


So to players of a certain game it'll be pretty obvious who this is based on. I even lifted the subsystem it uses for ability leveling, as I think that could be an interesting avenue for limited build customization that's not really present on any printed D&D class. The game in question has 18 levels; the last two levels of this class are totally skippable (and I think that's okay). Basically the only reason they exist is for the type of player that looks at a class and takes it to 20 without a second thought; the capstone is a sweet-looking reward that I intend to be powerful enough to feel cool but not so powerful that it actually incentivizes taking all 20.

Also I hate the name but couldn't think of a better one.

PEACH -- and feel free to critique anything at all about it, this is my first attempt at anything custom and I have no clue what I'm doing.


PLAGUE RAT
Hit die: d6



Level
Base Attack Bonus
Fort Save
Ref Save
Will Save
Special



1st
+1
+2
+2
+0
Ability point, deadly venom +1



2nd
+2
+3
+3
+0
Ability point



3rd
+3
+3
+3
+1
Ability point



4th
+4
+4
+4
+1
Ability point



5th
+5
+4
+4
+1
Ability point, deadly venom +1d2



6th
+6/+1
+5
+5
+2
Spray and pray +2



7th
+7/+2
+5
+5
+2
Ability point



8th
+8/+3
+6
+6
+2
Ability point



9th
+9/+4
+6
+6
+3
Ability point, deadly venom +1d3



10th
+10/+5
+7
+7
+3
Ability point



11th
+11/+6/+1
+7
+7
+3
Spray and pr



12th
+12/+7/+2
+8
+8
+4
Ability point



13th
+13/+8/+3
+8
+8
+4
Ability point, deadly venom +1d4



14th
+14/+9/+4
+9
+9
+4
Ability point



15th
+15/+10/+5
+9
+9
+5
Ability point



16th
+16/+11/+6/+1
+10
+10
+5
Spray and pray +4



17th
+17/+12/+7/+2
+10
+10
+5
Ability point, deadly venom +1d6



18th
+18/+13/+8/+3
+11
+11
+6
Ability point



19th
+19/+14/+9/+4
+11
+11
+6




20th
+20/+15/+10/+5
+12
+12
+6
True ambush


Class skills (6 + Int modifier per level, x4 at 1st level): Climb, Concentration, Craft, Handle Animal, Heal, Hide, Jump, Knowledge (dungeoneering), Knowledge (geography), Knowledge (nature), Listen, Move Silently, Profession, Ride, Search, Spot, Survival, Swim, Use Rope.

Weapon and Armor Proficiency: You are proficient with all simple weapons, martial ranged weapons, and light armor.

Deadly Venom (Ex): Whenever you deal damage to an enemy with a ranged weapon, that enemy becomes Afflicted for 6 rounds.
At the end of each of your turns, each Afflicted creature takes 1 damage. This damage increases at 5th, 9th, 13th, and 17th levels as indicated on the table. (This damage isn’t weapon damage, so it isn’t subject to damage reduction. It has no energy type, so it isn’t subject to energy resistance.)
Whenever an Afflicted creature dies, if you have any points in the Ambush ability, you regain the use of that ability.

Ability Point: Your ambush, venom cask, and contaminate abilities require ability points to use, and their effectiveness increases as you assign more points to them. At each level indicated on the table, assign 1 point to one of those abilities. The maximum number of points you can assign to an ability is half your plague rat level rounded up, or 5, whichever is less. (For example, if you are a 7th-level plague rat, the maximum number of points in any ability is 4. If you are 9th-level or higher, the maximum is 5.)

Ambush (Su): Activate this ability as a standard action, and only once per encounter. With 3 or more Ambush points, you may activate it as a move action instead.
At the beginning of your next turn, you are affected as if by an invisibility spell for 1 round per Ambush point, except that you can still be seen by creatures within 10 feet. While under this effect, you gain a 10 foot bonus to your speed.
When the invisibility effect ends (possibly because its duration expires, you take a hostile action, or it’s dispelled), for the remainder of that round and for the 5 rounds thereafter, you have the Rapid Shot feat. (You can get one extra attack per round with a ranged weapon. The attack is at your highest base attack bonus, but each attack you make in that round takes a -2 penalty.) If you have 4 Ambush points, the penalty is lessened to -1, and if you have 5 it is eliminated entirely.
"I was hiding!"

Venom cask (Ex): Activate this ability as a swift action. You may activate it once per encounter per Venom Cask point.
You throw a small cask of venom. Resolve the throw as a Throw Splash Weapon action that targets a grid intersection with a range increment of 5 ft (see the SRD). For 3 rounds, the affected area Afflicts any enemy creature that begins their turn there or passes through it, and reduces their speed by 5 feet per Venom Cask point.
"Here's something that won't wash off!"

Contaminate (Su): Activate this ability as an standard action, and only once per encounter.
Deal acid damage to all Afflicted creatures within 60 feet. The amount of damage is 1d8 per Contaminate point, plus 1d8, plus your Intelligence bonus (if any). A successful Fortitude save (DC 10 + your Intelligence modifier + ½ your plague rat level) halves the damage.
"You're looking a little green!"

Spray and Pray (Ex): Activate this ability as a swift action, and only twice per day.
For 5 rounds, your ranged attacks affect a line whose length is twice your weapon’s range increment. Make a separate attack roll against each enemy in the line, ignoring soft cover from your enemies, but taking a cumulative -2 penalty on the attack roll for each successive enemy past the first. (Missing an enemy does not prevent you from rolling attacks against enemies behind him.)
During these 5 rounds, you also get a +2 bonus on ranged damage rolls. This bonus is increased to +3 at plague rat level 11, and +4 at level 16.
"Pins and needles!"

True Ambush (Su): At 20th level, your ambush ability is modified as follows: You may activate it as a swift or move action, the duration of the invisibility effect (and the bonus to your speed) is 15 rounds, and you may choose to have the invisibility effect begin as soon as you activate it instead of at the start of your next turn.

[Grod_The_Giant]

PEACH -- and feel free to critique anything at all about it, this is my first attempt at anything custom and I have no clue what I'm doing.
First suggestion: there's a homebrew subforum for stuff like this.


Chassis
Full BAB and 6+Int skill points is a nice start; d6 HD is a bit unusual with a full BAB, but works for a sneaky-sniper, I suppose.


Deadly Venom (Ex): Whenever you deal damage to an enemy with a ranged weapon, that enemy becomes afflicted for 6 rounds.
At the end of each of your turns, each afflicted creature takes 1 damage. This damage increases at 5th, 9th, 13th, and 17th levels as indicated on the table. (This damage isn’t weapon damage, so it isn’t subject to damage reduction. It has no energy type, so it isn’t subject to energy resistance.)
Whenever an afflicted creature dies, if you have any points in the Ambush ability, you regain the use of that ability.
The damage isn't weapon or energy damage, but is it poison? It sounds like it should be poison. Does the damage stack if you hit them multiple times? Otherwise, this ability has very little impact, aside from recharging Ambush-- damage over time is rarely relevant in most games.


Ability Point: At each level up to 17th except for 6th and 12th, choose ambush, venom cask, or contaminate. That ability gains 1 point. An ability can’t have more than 5 points, and an ability can’t have more points than half your plague rat level rounded up. You must have at least 1 point in an ability to use it.
What does this mean? You never say what investing points does, beyond the one line in Deadly Venom. Also, what happens when I hit level 11-- can I invest 5 points, or 6 (half my level)?


Ambush (Su): Activate this ability as a standard action, and only once per encounter. With 3 or more Ambush points, you may activate it as a move action instead.
At the beginning of your next turn, you are affected as if by an invisibility spell for 1 round per Ambush point, except that you can still be seen by creatures within 10 feet. While under this effect, you gain a 10 foot bonus to your speed.
When the invisibility effect ends (possibly because its duration expires, you take a hostile action, or it’s dispelled), for the remainder of that round and for the 5 rounds thereafter, you may make an extra attack at your full base attack bonus when full attacking.
What are Ambush Points? How do I accumulate them? What's the recharge outside of combat? Otherwise, it's a useful and potent ability-- bursts of at-will invisibility are great for sneaking arround out-of-combat, and the extra attack in combat is a top-notch damage booster. You might want to consider starting with a -2 penalty to all attacks, in the same vein as things like Rapid Shot, TWF, and Whirling Frenzy, with the penalty going down over time.


Venom cask (Ex): Activate this ability as a swift action. You may activate it once per encounter per Venom Cask point.
You throw a small cask of venom. Resolve the throw as a Throw Splash Weapon action that targets a grid intersection with a range increment of 5 ft (see the SRD). For 3 rounds, the affected area afflicts any enemy creature that begins their turn there or passes through it, and reduces their speed by 5 feet per Venom Cask point.
Again, what are Venom Cask points, and what's the recharge when I'm not in combat? What action to do this? Otherwise, this isn't very useful. By the time you can immobilize people with it, you'll probably have better things to do with your actions. Not to mention that you really don't want to be within 5ft of your enemies with a d6 hit die.


Contaminate (Su): Activate this ability as an standard action, and only once per encounter.
Deal acid damage to all afflicted creatures within 60 feet. The amount of damage is 1d8 per Contaminate point, plus 1d10, plus your Intelligence bonus, plus your enhancement bonus to Dexterity (for example, from gloves of dexterity). A successful Fortitude save (DC 10 + your Intelligence modifier + ½ your plague rat level) halves the damage.
That's an amazingly strange damage formula. "1d8+Int, +1d8/point invested" would be much cleaner. (Why is enhancement bonus to Dex even in there? :smallconfused:). Also kind of a strange ability for a class that encourages you to hang back and snipe. I'd probably go back and capitalize Afflicted, to make it clear that it's a special thing.

...at this point, I'm guessing that the various "____ points" are the ones from Ability Point? You're picking which ability to progress each level? That's not bad; you can keep two abilities about maxed out, or dip around a little bit if you have things like Ambush that you only need a little bit of.


Spray and Pray (Ex): Activate this ability as a swift action, and only twice per day.
For 5 rounds, your ranged attacks affect a line whose length is twice your weapon’s range increment. Make a separate attack roll against each enemy in the line, ignoring soft cover from your enemies, but taking a cumulative 2 penalty on the attack roll for each successive enemy past the first. (Missing an enemy does not prevent you from rolling attacks against enemies behind him.)
During these 5 rounds, you also get a +2 bonus on ranged damage rolls. This bonus is increased to +3 at plague rat level 12, and +4 at level 18.
Why does this have a daily limit when nothing else does? Why the activation time? Why not make it another per-encounter ability-- "once per encouter per point invested, you may make a ranged attack affect all targets in a line," type of thing.

Also, why are Spray and Pray and Deadly Venom the only abilities that scale by class level, instead of with point investment?


True Ambush (Su): At 20th level, the duration of your ambush ability is 15 rounds.[/QUOTE]
It's a pretty weak capstone-- everything will be dead within 5 rounds, and a minute of invisibility isn't impressing (or fooling) anyone at 20th, but you've said it doesn't matter at this point.

[rrwoods]

D'oh! Yeah this should be in homebrew... Can I move it? I'll move it if I can, otherwise maybe a moderator could...

Oh damn, I forgot to bring over formatting. Afflicted is supposed to be italicized. Capitalized is probably better though.

The Contaminate damage formula was translating as literally as I could from the game this is based on, but yeah, in retrospect it's much simpler and more pen-and-paper friendly to just do all d8s and one ability score.

I'll clarify the accumulation of points in Ambush/Cask/Contaminate as points from Ability Point.

I could lengthen the range increment on Cask, maybe to 10 feet? The throw is a ranged touch attack against AC 5, so a short range increment doesn't hurt you much.

Hm, yeah, Ambush gets you an extra attack at full BAB at level 1 if you level it first. Most of my balance numbers were focused on Contaminate being maxed since it's a second damage source, so I hadn't considered this. I'll probably do a -2 to all attacks, which scales up to -0 as you put points in Ambush.

The reason Deadly Venom scales by class level is that it's how it works in the source game. As you note, the DOT isn't super impactful (it isn't in the source game either) -- maybe rename the ability (the venom isn't deadly, the Ambush refresh is! Also Contaminate) and leave out the DOT entirely. Spray and Pray in the source game only allows 3 points max, and you can only have level/6 rounded down points in it, which is totally different from the other abilities, so rather than introduce a complicated explanation I decided to just "auto-level" it and leave it out of the explanation entirely. Either of these decisions may be wrong and I'm open to alternatives! Maybe I can change the scaling on Spray and Pray to allow 5 points somehow; maybe the damage bonus goes from +0 to +4 instead of +2 to +4? Hmmm....

EDIT: Spray and Pray being available at level 1 is probably not something I want either. The daily limit as opposed to encounter limit is because it feels powerful enough to warrant it, but maybe I'm wrong about that.

Venom Cask is a swift action, partially because it's not terribly impactful. What it does do is give you a way to reliably Afflict an enemy that's hard to hit with a real attack, as long as you can hit AC 5. The slow is icing (and possibly useful for the melee brawler in your party once it's enough to basically hold them still for a round).

From your critiques it looks like you haven't played the game I based this on, which is kind of what I'm looking for here; I've had my eyes on it for long enough that ripping out the stuff that doesn't translate well is difficult.

I capitalized Afflicted everywhere (I think, might have missed some EDIT EDIT: now I got them all) and added clarifying text in Ability Point to say that those next three abilities reference these points (EDIT EDIT: and reminder text about how the maximums work). I don't know that I want to remove the DOT on Deadly Venom but it's probably the right call to do so. Just still thinking about it. I added the penalty to attacks on Ambush (explicitly through Rapid Shot). I originally was going to do -1 at 3 points and -0 at 5, but there's already the faster activation at 3 points so I pushed -1 to 4 points. This sort of gives you something meaningful for each point in Ambush -- 2 rounds of invisibility is way different from 1, then you can do it faster at 3 points, then the penalty ticks off at 4 and 5.

Oh yeah and I got rid of that horrible Contaminate damage calculation :P Just roll some d8s and add Int.

I'm reeeeeally not sure whether to change Spray and Pray to use the point system; it seems like it would make the point system clunkier than it already is in order to bring the power level in line. There might be something to do there though.

EDIT EDIT: Oh yeah, is there such a thing as poison damage? Maybe I just get rid of that DOT, it produces more questions than it's worth :P