View Full Version : Monty Python (d20)

2007-08-15, 10:29 AM
So...I've seen some threads about individual things from Monty Python, but I've tossed around in my head what it might take to forge a whole MP system for gameplay of absolute silliness.

What would the base classes be? Old Lady (in drag), Bruce, Kniggit, Repressed Peasant?

I know there would be some skills like: Silly Walk, Ride Coconut Horse, others?

Spell: Cartoon Foot. When cast, a giant cartoon foot descends from on high and squashes the intended target, no save.

Bring on the silliness. :smallbiggrin:

2007-08-15, 10:40 AM
Some rudamentary ideas that need fleshing out.

Spell-like ability: Spam - When used, a can of spam materializes in front of you. This ability can be used any number of times during the day. I hope you like Spam!

PrC: Lumberjack - Prereqs. - must be wearing high heels, suspenders, and a bra. Cannot be female and must have at least 10 ranks in Profession (lumberjack)

Familiar - Dead Parrot - Is it truely dead, or just pining for the feords?

2007-08-15, 11:20 AM
Weapon: Herring of Treecutting

Tiny dagger, -4 to attack, deals (1d2)-8 damage (X2).
When struck against any wooden material, the herring of treecutting ignores any harness the object might have, and deals an additional 3d8 damage to the object.

Spell: Summon Shrubbery

Summons a moderately prices shrubbery that has a nice path on the side.

Spell: Model Castle

Summons a catsle for party to rest in complete with cooks, servents, knights and a person in the dungeon.
Castle is 1x1 ft in size.

Item: Holy Handgrenade

Thrown splash weapon
Deals 2d6 damage
Takes 3 rounds to throw

Monster: The Horrible Beast

CR 20
Size: Tiny
Speed: 10ft
Attack: (natural weapon) Fluffy Claws and Bite +35/+30/+25/+20
Damage: (5d8) +15 (Vorpal)
Threat: (10-20) x4
DR: 5/holy handgrenade

Core Class: Frenchman

Has various taunting feats

I'll think of more soon...:smallbiggrin:

2007-08-15, 01:20 PM

Feat: No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition!
+4 to initiative, but initiative is reduced by 1 every round.

2007-08-16, 05:53 PM
Feat: It only a fleshwound
This feat allows you to continue fighting even after your limbs have been cut off.

Special: this feat does not work if you ever surrender

2007-08-16, 07:26 PM
Weapon Proficiency: Fresh Fruit. Need I say more.

2007-08-16, 10:51 PM
Spell: Funniest Joke.
The Verbal component for this spell is a joke, read aloud in any language.
All Creatures that understand the joke die of laughter, no save.

2007-08-16, 10:53 PM
Spell like ability: Ne.

by saying the command word "Ne", you cause others to flee from you in terror.

2007-08-17, 12:51 AM
That's pretty wimpy for a holy hand grenade.

Holy hand grenade
Thrown Splash weapon
Deals 10d6 Divine damage
After removing the pin, a character who is attempting to throw the holy hand grenade must wait three rounds and take a talking action to say "1" on the first round, then "2" on the second round, and "3" on the third. If (s)he throws prematurely or doesn't count, it will not explode. If (s)he counts to four or more, the hand grenade explodes

Power word: Ni!
Discriptors: Mind-effecting
Casting time: Standard action
Range: close
Duration: instantenously
Target: One creature
Saving throw: Negates
Spell resistance: Yes

Target creature you say the power word to cringes in fear if (s)he fails a will save, taking a -1d4 morale penalty to their next roll, +1 per every two levels, to a maximum of six.

2007-08-17, 01:39 AM
Gumby [Humanoid] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gumbies)
"My Brain Hurts"

+2 STR
-4 INT
-4 WIS
-1 Level Adjustment
Advancement: By class
Favored Class: Any
Alignment: Any

These unfortunate wretches are an offshoot of Humanity. Barely able to communicate basic thoughts, they are nonetheless quite resilient and adaptable and are found in every society where large amounts of Humans congregate. They are instantly recognized by their speech patterns and manner of dress.

Often shunned in polite society, due to their unfortunate gait and their aforementioned language problems, they are actually quite harmless, if a bit anti-social at times. Interestingly enough, however, Town Criers, Newspaper Guildsmen, and other people seeking information from "the common man", find the Gumbies quite fascinating, and will seek to find out their views on just about any subject imaginable.

They are also easily distracted and in stressful situations (like explaining something of importance to a non-Gumby) must make a DC 20 Will Save to remember what they were just doing. Should a Gumby fail their save, they will be dazed for 1d4 rounds, and will look down at their feet (or some similar action), trying to ponder what it was they were thinking about.

At the end of that period, a Gumby can make another attempt to remember what they were doing (this time a DC 15 Will Save). If they make the Save, they will continue as if nothing had happened to make them pause. If they fail this second save, the Gumby will proceed to do something entirely different.

The Headdress of the Gumby (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gumby_Brain_Surgery)
"No, no, no! My brain in my head!"

It is unknown how The Headdress of the Gumby was created (a drunken sorcerer is often blamed), but it's affect is undeniable. Looking like a set of ordinary, if odd clothing accessories, The Headdress of the Gumby is actually a powerfully cursed magic item. Should a character attempt to wear one of the accessories (which are a pair of gloves, a pair of glasses, a fake mustache, and a handkerchief), he must immediately make a DC 20 Will Save, or feel compelled to put on the next accessory.

For each item the character puts on (including the first one), he must immediately subtract both a point of Intelligence and Wisdom. If a character fails his save and puts on another piece of the Headdress of the Gumby, he must also succeed a DC 20 Will Save, or be compelled to continue to put on the accessories. As he puts on the accessories, he will find himself get stronger (+1 STR for the second piece and another +1 for the final piece, which is always the handkerchief - but worn over the head) and speaking more and more like a Gumby. After the final piece has been put on, his race will instantly change to Gumby. If a Remove Curse is preformed on the handkerchief within 24 hours, the character can try to make a Will Save (DC 20) to remove The Headdress of the Gumby, and revert to his base creature.

If the Remove Curse fails, a second (and final) attempt can be made in another month. A Miracle or Wish spell, however, will always allow the character to remove the Headdress, should he wish it.

Additionally when all of the items are put on the character will get a +2 bonus (revulsion) to their AC.

NOTE: If a character successfully makes either a Knowledge (Arcana) check (DC 25) or Bardic Knowledge Check (DC 25), they will be able to recognize the cursed item for what it truly is. Should a character try to Identify the Headdress of the Gumby, the only affect that will be identified is the +2 bonus to AC.


This is just a stab at trying to recreate the Gumbies. And (probably) a pretty poor one at that. But if someone wants to clean it up/enhance it/radically rework it, please feel free. Besides, it's late at night, and yes, my brain hurts! :smalltongue:

Emperor Demonking
2007-08-17, 05:16 AM
Safety in gullibility
When it'd be safer for failing a check (for example if Hitler was in your dining room in a bad disguise) You autimaticly fail even if you wouldn't fail on a 1.

2007-08-17, 03:43 PM
Visious gang of keep left signs
summon a gang, 1d6+caster level, of keep left signs. thay attack using your base attack bonus doing 1d4 of damage.

Village idiot, template
+2 inteligence +4wisdom +2dextarity
the idiot is wise man, watching the world pass by pretending tok be the fool for meger coin. However, no one knows abot the wisdom of the idiot, as tehy keep to theselves, a secret orgization as it were.
+2 level adjustment

Sir Conkey
2007-08-17, 05:02 PM
pantomime horse

+2 str
+4 dex
+10 to hide

Pantomime horses are masters of diguise and not to be dealt with lightly, otherwise you end up dead

2007-08-17, 06:07 PM

Level:6 Reporter
Components:News Cast
Range: 20ft
Target,Effect,or Area: see text
Duration: pernament
Saving Throw: none hahaha
Spell Resistance: none

Whenever target creature talks subtitles appear at the bottom of the screen even though he is talking in fluent Common.
Target must make a Will save DC:25 or be driven insane and angered for the rest of their life. if then succed they are only angered for the rest of their life.

I SPEAK PERFECT ENGLISH!!! oh look at me!!! i dont need subtitles!!

2007-08-17, 10:14 PM
Familiar - Dead Parrot - Is it truely dead, or just pining for the feords?

"Fjords" /nitpick


Ministry of the Silly Walks PrC, with increasing Dexterity-based bonuses as you progress and learn more tricks for your Silly Walk, but also increasing Charisma-based penalties due to the fact that your Silly Walk is... well... silly.

2007-08-17, 11:02 PM
Magic Item: Raymond's Luxury Yacht

A boat shaped like the rare Mangrove Throatwobbler.

When in use, user cannot be on television (protection from minor scrying). All passengers must wear foot-long polystyrene noses.

2007-08-18, 11:42 AM
Weapon Proficiency: Fresh Fruit. Need I say more.

But what about pointed sticks? :smalltongue:

2007-08-20, 04:31 PM
Feat: Dramatic Charge: When charging from over 100 yards away, you are granted the illusion that you are continually over 100 yards away until the instant that you choose to appear next to your opponent to attack them.

Spell: Cartoonist's Death: Whenever battling a Cartoon Horror (see Monsters), you may cast this spell which brings death to the Cartoonist and thereby the monster you are facing as well.

Equipment: Food (Minstrel) One minstrel will nourish a party of four for an entire week. Upon consumption, the party receives a +1 morale bonus for the week.

2007-08-20, 06:54 PM
Lego Musical
when this spell is cast during a Song, everything will seem as though they are a bunch of Legos.


2007-08-20, 06:57 PM
But what about pointed sticks? :smalltongue:
Shut up!

{Length requierment fufiller.}

2007-08-20, 08:08 PM
Three pythonesque feats for your reading pleasure :smallsmile:

Counter-Fruit Tactics (Fresh)[GENERAL]
You are adept at defending yourself against anyone attacking you with fresh fruit.
Prerequisites: Weapon Proficiency: Fresh Fruit
Benefits: This feat gives you five (three sir) three new weapon proficiencies, especially useful for defending against anyone armed with fresh fruit. They include Simple Weapon Proficiency (Gun), Martial Weapon Proficiency (16 ton weight) and Exotic Weapon Proficiency (Tiger). This feat also allows you to use the feat disarm against anyone armed with fresh fruit, as long as they are dead.
Normal: You wouldn't be able to defend yourself against fresh fruit, that's what would happen without this feat!
Special: This feat is ineffective if fighting against anyone armed with a pointed stick.

Invisible [General]
You are so incredibly dull and boring that people don't notice you. Not even your wife or the people at work.
Prerequisites: Charisma 3 or less
Benefits: As long as you don't do anything interesting (and with a personality like that, you probably won't) you are considered constantly affected by the spell improved invisibility at a caster level equal to your character level. This effect is not magical, and cannot be dispelled, although True Seeing and similar effects reveals your presence (though you will still probably be ignored, you dull bastard). As an added benefit, this feat also grants you a +2 bonus to profession (Chartered accountant) checks.
Normal: You're completely normal, and don't get to appear on television.

Upper class Twit [GENERAL]
Even though you are incredibly stupid, incompetent and awful, you earn extraordinary amounts of cash, without having to work for it.
Prerequisites: No ability score higher than 8
Benefits: Each day you gain a number of gp equal to half your xp total from stock, work you don't have to do or similar exploits. As an added benefit, having this feat makes you applicable for The Upper class Twit of the Year Show.
Normal: Well, at least you ain't a twit.
Special: If you ever use any of the money earned from this feat for anything else than hosting parties, spoiling women or similar twitty behaviour, you lose the benefit of it for one month.

2007-08-20, 08:33 PM
Monster: homicidal barber.
Hp: 2d4
AC: 10
Int: +5
Atk: +25/20/15 (1d4+10)
Normally harmless, when he comes into contact with a paying customer, the barber becomes a gibbering wreck and has a 50-50 chance of fleeing in panic or attacking savagely.
Special: when asked about career, transforms into lumberjack.

Feat: Not dead!!
Perquisites: must be of Venerable age category.
Benefits: you are immune from all disease.
Penalty: takes double damage from all bludgeoning attacks.

Chicken of sketch ending: (weapon)
Treated as a masterwork improvised bludgeoning weapon, when you strike a silly person on the head with the chicken, all quests he is partaking in come to an end.

2007-08-20, 08:36 PM
Monster: Spiny Norman
You hear a rubleing as a massive spiked head rises above a nearbye building. Its mouth opens and a voice booms "DINSDALE"
(don't know enough about the system to actually make stats. Feel free to finish this up)

2007-08-20, 11:18 PM
Feat: Expert of Not Being Seen
You have extensively studied the art of not being seen, and applied what you have learned.
Prerequisites: 10 or more ranks in Hide
Benefits: You gain the Camouflage ability of the Ranger, and the Hide in Plain Sight ability of the Shadowdancer. If you have either of these abilities when this feat is taken, this feat instead grants a +4 circumstance bonus to Hide checks.
Special: If, while using the Hide skill, you ever stand up when your name is called, you explode in a spectacular fireball destroying your body and dealing 6d20 damage to creatures within 5 feet of you.

2007-08-20, 11:24 PM
Item: Holy Handgrenade

Thrown splash weapon
Deals 2d6 damage
Takes 3 rounds to throw

should actually read....

Item: Holy Handgrenade

Thrown splash weapon
Deals 2d6 damage
Takes 5... uh 3 rounds to throw

2007-08-21, 12:11 AM
A pythonesq prestige class.

Prestige Class: Spanish Inquisator

Prerequisites: You must be proficient with the following 2 weapons.
Fear, Surprise, & ruthless efficiency......

Wait that's three... hmm I'll list them again.

Prerequisites: You must be proficient with the following 5 weapons: (3 weapons sir!) Oh yes 3 weapons.
Fear, Surprise, Ruthless efficiency, & an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope,...

Oh wait that's 4. You know what I'm going to start this post over again.





Prestige Class: Spanish Inquisator

Prerequisites: You must be proficient with the following 4 weapons.
Fear, Surprise, & ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms!".................


Never mind let's just move on then shall we.

2007-08-22, 04:20 AM
New Item:

Machine That Goes "Ping!"

If you hear it, you know your baby's still alive.

Cost: You rent it off the company you sold it to so its costs come off the monthly deductions and not the anual audit.

...or some such.

Stop that! ... It's silly. Time for a cartoon!

Evil DM Mark3
2007-08-22, 05:02 AM
Races. Freemason.

+2 Dex (Have you seen those handshakes??) -2 Int and Wis.

+4 racial bonus on Sillywalking.

Detect Mason as a spell like ability at will with a sonomatic component (A masonic handshake)


+2 Con, -2 Cha.

+4 bonus on saves Vs alcohol. (cites the austrailian phylosophers and their song about other phylosophers)

Storm Bringer
2007-08-22, 05:35 AM
presitge class: Knight who says............NI!

the Knight who says............NI! say cast Ni as a spell like ability at will.

the Knight who says............NI! suffuers 1d10 damage every time someone says 'it' in earshot.

upon reaching the 10th level of this class, the Knight who says............NI! ascends to the Knight Who Till Recently Said NI!. He gains a new powerword, that requires s DC45 truespeak check to use.

2007-08-22, 07:54 AM
The lumberjack song(Bard song)

Makes you feel less manly and rugged.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-08-22, 08:10 AM
...With the Strength of Many Men
You fight with the strength (and weapons) of many men, you sneaky underhanded knight you.
Prerequisite: Must be proficient with all weapons carried in "hammer space", base attack bonus +3. Must wear green.
Effect: You may carry up to 3 weapons of any size, shape, or enchantment in "hammer space." These weapons cannot be seen, heard, stolen, enchanted, or otherwise effected by anyone else, and do not count towards encumbrance.
At any time when the audience is not paying attention (i.e someone else's turn, someone is having a solo adventure and you're just sitting around, the GM went to go get snacks, something interesting just came on TV, etc) you may switch out your currently equipped weapon for one in hammer space or, if you currently do not have a weapon, pull one out as a free action.
You may only have one weapon from hammer space out at a time. If any hammer space weapon is lost, damaged, stolen, or otherwise removed from play, that spot is freed up and another weapon may be put there. You may carry one weapon on your person and three in hammer space and switch them out at will.
You may still carry as many weapons as the GM will let you regularly.
This may be used to dual wield a regular weapon and hammer space weapon.
This ability is lost if you ever are not wearing at least one piece of green clothing, but can be regained by simply wearing green again. Your weapons will not be lost and can be retained.

2007-08-24, 04:23 AM
Song Of THe Lumberjack

The song of the Lumberjack gives a initial morale bonus of +5, reducing by two each round verse until the fourth verse when all your companions abandon you in digust

Silly Walk
You begin to walk in a slighty silly manner, deduct -5 from your land speed

Moderately Silly Walk
Your silly Walk becomes more silly but your opponents have no idea what you are doing. Deduct an additional 5 feet from your land speed, but you gain an 20% concealment bonus when conscious due to your erratic movements.

Extremely Silly Walk
Your Walk becomes so silly your movement is random Your land speed is 2d20, but you gain an 50% concealment bonus when conscious due to your erratic movements.

Silly Charge
Your silly Walk gives your the ability to charge in a deceptive manner
You may charge in any direction with any amount of turns avoiding all attack of opportunities, but your charge distance is 5d10.

2007-08-24, 05:39 AM
Does the Extremely silly walk negate the movement penalties of the first two levels? I assume the walks are feets?

Lumberjack song is a bard feat? Are you allowed to stop in the middle? If so why would anyone continue it past the 3rd round? (+5,+3,+1)?

2007-08-24, 01:35 PM
And Now for Something Completely Different

smart thog
2007-08-25, 05:23 PM
Artifact: rod of the Monty Python

Description: This rod looks quite silly, and has a foot on the top

Effect: When you first wield the rod, you turn into a gumby. This does not worry you, and neither does anything else (gain immune fear), as long as you can whistle and it'll help things turn out for the best. You always look on the bright side of life. You always do a very silly walk, you must dance whenever your able, you must also eat ham, and jam, and, spam, a lot (love that spam), and kill a pig as you sit down, whenever you sit down. You can say "nee" when you want to, taunt the English, make fat people blow up after eating wafer thin mints, summon the Spanish inquisition (nobody, including you, can expect this though), summon the killer rabbit, summon monks who hit themselves while chanting, call out the words "Brother Mainark" and some monk will give you the holy hand grenade, cause massive death at family picnics, and squash things under a cartoon foot.

2007-08-25, 06:29 PM
It may just be me but I think that rod needs a bit more crunch.

2007-08-25, 08:21 PM
I don't have the stats for a rod of wonders(?), but a pythonesque version of that would be good

Summon Spam
You can summon cans of Spam as the Eldritch Blast ability of Warlocks.
you can eat it, throw it, use to confuse and annoy. You can add the poisoned effect to represent off spam. Your opponents must roll a d20, on a roll of 1 they don't like spam and it does double damage.

The Extremely Silly Walk replace your modified landspeed with the result of 2d20 each round to represent the changing nature of the silly walk. This is to represent the minister's changing silly walk.

"Sorry I'm late. My walk has gone rather silly today"

smart thog
2007-08-26, 10:35 AM
actually it is the pythonesque version of the rod of the python, a actual magic item.