DMs; Rules at your table and how you enforce them?

[Asmotherion]

Redirecting from an other thread, I was wandering what the rules at your tables are, and how you enforce them? Also, how strict you are with said rules, as in how many warning do you give per session before you enforce punishment?

I am just asking for referance, in order to compare methodes.

Before I include my personal rules, I would like to specify that we are a group of friends who are all adults and we don't take offence to nearly anything because we know that it's done in a humorous tone, so we don't need to include that many rules about nearly anything.

My personal rules:
-If you feel you want to discuss something about rules or mechanics, do so after the session.
-If you want to talk about something out of game, raise your hand; if it's with an other player, do so discretelly so you don't distract the other players in the game.
-As a DM, when I Narrate something, you stop talking; Missing a detail is the minimum punishment, as I never Narrate twice.
-If two scenes are playing at the same time, the scene with the most PCs takes priority; I then go a little back in time and play the other scene from the point they would have to interact with the other PCs unless the other scene plays for too long. If someone tryes to bump into the other scene, he waits until I say he can act, or he faces punishment.

Enforcment:
I always give 3 free warnings per player; That's not per Session or Campain though, that's per lifetime. From that point on, I know they are familiar enough with my rules to accept the 1 warning per session.

After each warning they get 1 misfortune die. How this works is simple:

I can roll a d6 at some point during any subsequent session on one of the player's d20 rolls and substract the result from the player's result. This can be on any d20 roll I see fit as punishment and on any subsequent session in the future. The d6 roll is rolled in front of the players for fairness. Also, misfortune dice are cumulative. Not knowing when I might use it is already half of the punishment.

[War_lord]

...I don't, I'm not a school teacher and my players aren't pupils. All I ask for is respect for the time I put in to DMing, if I should ever come across a player who refuses to respect that, I'd just ask them to leave.

[Mellack]

As War_lord said, these are a group getting together for fun, not an employer and their employees. Nobody should be doling out punishments. If somebody cracks a joke during a narration, we laugh and continue. The goal is to have fun. If we are not having fun we discuss it like adults.

[Avonar]

An occasional comment to get people on track is all I do. We're all there to have fun, and out of game rules are not my personal idea of fun.

[Deleted]

Redirecting from an other thread, I was wandering what the rules at your tables are, and how you enforce them? Also, how strict you are with said rules, as in how many warning do you give per session before you enforce punishment?

I am just asking for referance, in order to compare methodes.

Before I include my personal rules, I would like to specify that we are a group of friends who are all adults and we don't take offence to nearly anything because we know that it's done in a humorous tone, so we don't need to include that many rules about nearly anything.

My personal rules:
-If you feel you want to discuss something about rules or mechanics, do so after the session.
-If you want to talk about something out of game, raise your hand; if it's with an other player, do so discretelly so you don't distract the other players in the game.
-As a DM, when I Narrate something, you stop talking; Missing a detail is the minimum punishment, as I never Narrate twice.
-If two scenes are playing at the same time, the scene with the most PCs takes priority; I then go a little back in time and play the other scene from the point they would have to interact with the other PCs unless the other scene plays for too long. If someone tryes to bump into the other scene, he waits until I say he can act, or he faces punishment.

Enforcment:
I always give 3 free warnings per player; That's not per Session or Campain though, that's per lifetime. From that point on, I know they are familiar enough with my rules to accept the 1 warning per session.

After each warning they get 1 misfortune die. How this works is simple:

I can roll a d6 at some point during any subsequent session on one of the player's d20 rolls and substract the result from the player's result. This can be on any d20 roll I see fit as punishment and on any subsequent session in the future. The d6 roll is rolled in front of the players for fairness. Also, misfortune dice are cumulative. Not knowing when I might use it is already half of the punishment.

I would laugh my way all the way back home if you tried pulling this on me.

[Avonar]

Enforcment:
I always give 3 free warnings per player; That's not per Session or Campain though, that's per lifetime. From that point on, I know they are familiar enough with my rules to accept the 1 warning per session.

Out of curiosity, what do you do for players that get more than the 3 or 1 warnings? Kick them out the game?

[War_lord]

Out of curiosity, what do you do for players that get more than the 3 or 1 warnings? Kick them out the game?

I choose to assume he makes them sit on the naughty step.

[mgshamster]

My one and only rule: I ask my players to treat myself and each other with respect. This includes respect for showing up on time or giving a head sup when you can't, respect for the person speaking at the time, respect for the storyline and if you don't want to play it let us know so we can go off course, and any other type of respect that's necessary for a group-based game to occur.

When they fail to do this, I speak to them as an adult and resolve the situation. When I fail to treat them with respect, they speak to me like an adult and we resolve the situation.

This one and only rule is repeated as many times as necessary, as we all make mistakes and we all have off days.

No other rules are necessary.

[Dimcair]

"Shouldn't I get a Dex save against this trap of 200 points of piercing damage?"
"If you want to discuss rules and mechanics you may do so after the session!"
"Ok, thanks."
....





Also lol.

[Laserlight]

My rules are "If you can't make a session, let me know as soon as possible, so I have time to adjust the encounters".

Um....that's pretty much it. I DM to help my friends have a good time, not so I can keep track of who I get to punish and how much.

[JNAProductions]

Yeah, Imma echo those who say D&D is about having a good time.

If you're having trouble, talk it out with players, but ultimately, so long as all the players (DM included) have a good time, who cares?

[vehementi]

LOL nice

Where was this pasted from?

[Tanarii]

Open table rules:
- Don't PvP.
- Don't be disruptive.
- Focus on the game.
- You're here to be part of a group of adventurers, not for your character to be the center of attention.
- Don't start arguments about the rules with me. Accept my temporary ruling, and we'll review the rule after the game.

A less formal rule:
- Be on time. For that matter, show up.
That goes double for Tier 2 sessions. For those you had to schedule a time slot with me in the first place, and organize the players involved (and session goal). Respect that.

If you piss me off enough, you'll be uninvited from my table.


I expect mostly the same from groups of friends I DM from time to time. Except I let them screw around quite a bit before I call them back into focus on the game. Those games tend to be about pizza & popcorn & throwing dice & killing orcs. It's mostly about being social, and less about accomplishing things.

The only other "rule" I have for friends is: don't get so drunk it makes the game totally pointless to play. I don't drink any more, and never did while trying to DM. But I've had a few friends that would get hammered on JD or the like and it'd just get silly. I've had to just call the session before.

[Avonar]

The only other "rule" I have for friends is: don't get so drunk it makes the game totally pointless to play. I don't drink any more, and never did while trying to DM. But I've had a few friends that would get hammered on JD or the like and it'd just get silly. I've had to just call the session before.

Hm. I've never actually had to try and enforce it myself but I agree with this one. I remember one session I was a player in when one guy had a fair bit of alcohol and smoked some weed, I don't think he said anything for the rest of the session.

[Malifice]

Is this for real?

[Sariel Vailo]

Sometimes i have to get pavlovian when children are present. We try not ti swear and impose a point of lame rule. Any nat 20 becomes a nat 1

[Darkstar952]

Only really have two rules, first is the usual respect your fellow players and DM.

Second one is if there is a rules query and a consensus cannot be reached after a minute or two I will make a ruling to get the game flowing again, that ruling is final and not questioned for the remainder of the session. After the session discussion on the rule can continue.

[Tanarii]

Sometimes i have to get pavlovian when children are present. We try not ti swear and impose a point of lame rule. Any nat 20 becomes a nat 1
Man I wish I'd done that one while running 4e encounters. For two seasons, I had a table with a seven and nine y.o. And their mom, who was a surprisingly good player for someone who had no idea what this was about and was just indulging her kids. And a totally unself-aware hyperactive 19 y.o. nerd who was totally into winning, personally and not as a grounp, at any cost. I kept having to tell him not to swear. And to take it down a notch. I had to keep an eye on his dice rolling for cheating too.

Okay, so maybe there was a bigger problem than just swearing. :smallamused:

That's the experience that made me set formal rules for open tables.

Edit: oh yeah, he also kept arguing with me about every little rule at the table, always trying to get the best possible advantage for himself. /sigh

[mgshamster]

Tanarii, you got me thinking about the difference in my table rules for my regular group vs my open tables and online games.

I run a lot of PBP games, and I have much more strict rules than my previous post. The *three* rules are:

1) You must post at least once every 24 hours, and if you are unable to post for two or more days, you must let us know. There's no excuse not to give a heads up, as it takes literally a couple of seconds, maybe a minute at most to post, "Hey all, I'm really busy, may not be able to post the next few days." Unless you're in some sort of power outage crisis, then there's not really an excuse. Failure to do so can range in penalties from being skipped in the story, having your character botted (GM takes control), or most severely being kicked from the game. I have learned that not enforcing this rule leads to games dying.

2) In an AL/PFS/SFS game, all of the Organized Play rules apply. Violations from this can extend to having a talk, being kicked from the game, or being reported to the game host (and from there, the most series violations can result in you being escorted out the store, or banned from the website). I've had to do this once.

3) Your character needs to be in line with the game I'm running. Either following the game theme, or race/class/mechanic restrictions, etc. Violations of this simply means I'll pick another applicant for the game.

From there, I have some general suggestions, such as always posting in a way that moves the story forward, or certain ways to write (no walls of text, use bold for speech, italics for thought, etc..), but that's not a rule.

[furby076]

My rules:
No pvp
Avoid being on your phone (if ur spouse or kids or something is texting u then thats fine, but keep it down to a minimum. If you must answer the phone, then excuse urself)
No excessive booze (my group had an incident once)
Respect everyone
Its a game, have fun and try to make it fun
Shower before you show up to game. I dont need to smell you
Respect the hosts house. It was very nice of him/her to let us play there


If the rules are too tough, then leave the game

[Tanarii]

Shower before you show up to game. I dont need to smell you

I always find this one kinda funny, but then I stop and think of my rule for myself: don't smoke a stank-ass cigar right before the session. :smallyuk:

[EvilAnagram]

My table doesn't really have rules. People just generally respect each other and my home.

[DarkKnightJin]

The table i'm at (not as DM), has no hard rules. We try te be respectful of eachother. As players and as characters. The latter not as strictly.
I personally try to avoid interrupting people as much as I can.
I will support the DM with my knowledge of the rules if it seems she's having a bit of trouble remembering something, so we can keep going a bit more smoothly.

...I listed the effects, cast time, and range for Spiritual Weapon from memory last night. Not the components, since I never looked at those too hard. Pretty sure it's just V and S anyway. And not an M component the holy symbol can't sub in for.

[KorvinStarmast]

Enforcment:
I always give 3 free warnings per player; That's not per Session or Campain though, that's per lifetime. From that point on, I know they are familiar enough with my rules to accept the 1 warning per session.

After each warning they get 1 misfortune die. How this works is simple:

I can roll a d6 at some point during any subsequent session on one of the player's d20 rolls and substract the result from the player's result. This can be on any d20 roll I see fit as punishment and on any subsequent session in the future. The d6 roll is rolled in front of the players for fairness. Also, misfortune dice are cumulative. Not knowing when I might use it is already half of the punishment. So how has this worked out for you, the punishment? How many players have accepted it, and how many have ditched your table? Curious. (Also, how old are your players?)

The only other "rule" I have for friends is: don't get so drunk it makes the game totally pointless to play. I don't drink any more, and never did while trying to DM. But I've had a few friends that would get hammered on JD or the like and it'd just get silly. I've had to just call the session before. Back in college days, we had a session that had a lot of drinking, a few people partaking of wacky tabacky, and I think someone had a Thai stick. I was DM, only had a few beers since I had to keep my wits about me. The game degenerated into an orgy of "sacrificial" copulation with defeated undead, started by one player (a devotee of Sarku, an evil God in Empire of the Petal Throne) and eventually joined in by the rest of the mind altered party. (It was sorta disgusting, but in a weirdly funny way, the way that some Tarantino films are disgusting in a weirdly funny way). They eventually tired of this orgy, but not before a casual observer (non player) had come upstairs from the basement (she was watching an old movie) to see what all of the hilarity from the crazies was about. As she began to understand what was going on, she looked at me with eyebrows raised: "Do they do this all the time?" to which I replied "No, this is a first, and hopefully the last, undead orgy in a ruined temple." Her only reply to that was "you guys are sick" and she went back to her movie. (Can't say as I blamed her. Some years later, she married one of the nutsos at the table ... )

My table doesn't really have rules. People just generally respect each other and my home. Nice. Let me guess: mostly adults?

[alchahest]

general rules:

* we avoid content that can make someone uncomfortable (example - we have a player with a massive phobia and anxiety related to needles, we avoid making him imagine that kind of thing. because we're friends and care about each other)

* as much notice as possible for missed sessions. there's no penalty to missing a session but as a courtesy to whoever is running the game at that time to adjust as needed.

* a general "Try to stay on track / in character" vibe. we aren't draconian about it, getting a handful of blokes together is going to result in some japes and jests, but we are there to play a specific game and so we try to keep in line.

* rules - it's actually very rare to have rules disputes, but when they happen we pause briefly to discuss and the GM will make a temporary ruling, then we will get back to it later after session if there's further resolution required.

[Tanarii]

Nice. Let me guess: mostly adults?Define "adult". Because the majority of problem players I've had are in their late twenties or early thirties. And I consider that adult. They're usually classic 'gaming geeks', hitting all the high points of the negative stereotypes.

After that, I usually get 18-22 year old problem players, which I also consider adult. But that's hardly surprising, since the majority of players I've had are in that age range. All three gaming stores I use to run open table games are right next to college campuses.

Honestly though, if by 'adult' you mean 'act like an adult' that's spot on. If a circular definition. :smallwink:

[KorvinStarmast]

Honestly though, if by 'adult' you mean 'act like an adult' that's spot on. If a circular definition. :smallwink: I'll let Evil_Anagram elaborate, but fair point. :smallwink:

[EvilAnagram]

Nice. Let me guess: mostly adults?

Yes, but I have to agree with Tenarii that this doesn't matter terribly. I DM for local shops quite a bit, and the proportion of engaged and excited children who stay on their best behavior is pretty even with adults. In fact, the worst problem player I've seen was a grown man with a wife an child who lived with his in-laws and would throw dice and yell when things didn't go his way. Age and maturity don't necessarily correlate.

I think my home table functions without official rules because I don't invite people into my home of I don't know they'll respect it. There's also the fact that the group's friendship is mostly as people who like playing D&D together, so I was able to create a table of people who I know tend to react maturely.

At the shop, I'm just lucky.

[Theodoxus]

When I stumbled on the thread, I was thinking house rules - and was wondering why you'd need some form of enforcement beyond "I'm the DM and you agreed to play by the rules I foisted on you..." but this is something quite different...

To OP: no official rules... lots of unspoken ones, centered around courtesy and hospitality.

I've had players get miffed at my creation rules (Standard Array, no MC, no feats, because reasons) and they've decided not to return to the game - but the core group is pretty chill (and I'm leaning towards removing the restrictions - at least for MC and feats... I prefer SA just for the simplicity of character review (vice PB) and munchkinization (vice rolling).

PvP hasn't come up in the current group, as they're all pretty wet behind the ears, and far more willing to follow the storyline than fight each other. They also really like side quests... so much so, it took them 4 sessions longer than I anticipated to finish LMoP because of tracking, finding and accomplishing every single side quest in Phandelin over progressing the main quest. I was using milestones, so it wasn't the extra XP - it was, I'm pretty sure, simply the fun of working as a team to accomplish goals and get a little gold or an extra potion out of it.

[mgshamster]

lots of unspoken ones, centered around courtesy and hospitality.

I was pretty amazed the first time I had someone violate basic hospitality rules.

Two of my players took a hiatus, so as a group we found two new players to join in, and figured we'd just have a larger group when the other two came back.

We advertised online, and two sisters offered to join. They were both adult women with college degrees and careers. At my house, we generally cook dinner for our D&D games, and my wife usually does the cooking while I DM. Every time we make a meal, we tell everyone in advance so they know not to buy dinner for themselves, and we always ask about dietary restrictions and preferences.

A few sessions in, we made some bacon chicken tacos. Everyone was excited for them. The two new girls ate all of the bacon and didn't touch anything else we prepared. They ate it all before my wife was done cooking everything else, so she never got to add any bacon to her own dinner. And at the end of the night, we had a giant plate of uneaten tacos. All they ate was the bacon and nothing else we cooked up.

Then, to top it off, they went through my pantry and ate all my kids' snack packs. I only saw them do it once, and I said it's ok of they have one. I didn't realize that they ate *all* of them until the next day when I went to get my three year old a snack.

Wtf kind of person does that?

Needless to say, they weren't invited back.

[Danielqueue1]

the rules at my tables vary widely depending on the people I'm playing with. and the resource I am using.

common rules.
Rule zero; the DM is right even when they aren't (we'll check on the rules after combat is over)
Rule 1; basic respect

Pay attention to descriptions and actions.
don't interrupt the DM
don't interrupt players on their turn.
don't play phone games
talk to someone if they do something you don't like.
don't be a deuchbag
hygene
if you are going to PVP you better have a very good reason
etc.


In character and out of character are separate things. If the Lawful-good paladin hates the chaotic-questionable rogue don't take it personal. (this really fits under rule 1 but my public games seem to need this spelled out enough that I made it a separate one.)

Same Team; Did that guy do something epic that RAW he shouldn't have gotten away with? did the dm allow it? spend less time trying to make other people wrong and enjoy the game.

have fun; if you are not having fun talk after session about why you aren't having fun.

keep meta-gaming to a minimum; I get it, using fire to kill trolls is a time honored tradition, but don't pull up a PDF of the monster manual to check a creature's worst saving throw.

some games I have to add specific rules but they usually fit under Rule 1

but when I play online there are a few more rules especially around mic etiquette
If two roleplays are happening, DM decides which one is on voice and which one is in text chat.
if the DM is talking, can it.
if it's not your turn in combat, get off the mic.
check to see if your mic is muted before eating PLEASE!


how do I enforce these rules?

friends; no need
Public; lay out expectations for new players. ask them if they are willing to follow the basic rules and if they ignore all attempts to talk to them they can find a new table.

[Alejandro]

Enforcment:
I always give 3 free warnings per player; That's not per Session or Campain though, that's per lifetime. From that point on, I know they are familiar enough with my rules to accept the 1 warning per session.

After each warning they get 1 misfortune die. How this works is simple:

I can roll a d6 at some point during any subsequent session on one of the player's d20 rolls and substract the result from the player's result. This can be on any d20 roll I see fit as punishment and on any subsequent session in the future. The d6 roll is rolled in front of the players for fairness. Also, misfortune dice are cumulative. Not knowing when I might use it is already half of the punishment.

Do they get to do the same thing to you, when you don't act at their standards? :D

[EvilAnagram]

I was pretty amazed the first time I had someone violate basic hospitality rules.

Two of my players took a hiatus, so as a group we found two new players to join in, and figured we'd just have a larger group when the other two came back.

We advertised online, and two sisters offered to join. They were both adult women with college degrees and careers. At my house, we generally cook dinner for our D&D games, and my wife usually does the cooking while I DM. Every time we make a meal, we tell everyone in advance so they know not to buy dinner for themselves, and we always ask about dietary restrictions and preferences.

A few sessions in, we made some bacon chicken tacos. Everyone was excited for them. The two new girls ate all of the bacon and didn't touch anything else we prepared. They ate it all before my wife was done cooking everything else, so she never got to add any bacon to her own dinner. And at the end of the night, we had a giant plate of uneaten tacos. All they ate was the bacon and nothing else we cooked up.

Then, to top it off, they went through my pantry and ate all my kids' snack packs. I only saw them do it once, and I said it's ok of they have one. I didn't realize that they ate *all* of them until the next day when I went to get my three year old a snack.

Wtf kind of person does that?

Needless to say, they weren't invited back.

I was going to make a joke about Sisyphus, but good gods that's atrocious!

[Kane0]

We...I... our table doesn't do anything like that. There are plenty of times I wish we did something more to keep people's attention but that... that doesn't seem like it would foster the kind of atmosphere i'm looking for in a game played with friends.