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2D8HP
2017-10-30, 05:13 PM
With all the "Alignment" and "Is [whatever] Evil? threads, I feel I must ask:

How do you tell if a character is Evil?

Some guesses:

1)
..has a mustache...

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/800px_villaincsvg.png

2)
..Or any person playing a violin...

https://img00.deviantart.net/64cc/i/2013/196/7/3/loki_s_violin_by_narryaque-d6do8yt.png

3) https://i.imgur.com/i4hhgrP.gif

4) http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/10400000/Batman-Returns-Penguin-batman-10431711-300-449.jpg

5) http://www.writeups.org/wp-content/uploads/Death-Dealer-Frank-Frazetta.jpg

6) http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/tarquin_669.gif

7)
When you enter a room they're sitting in a high backed chair that faces away from you, that they then swing around and say, "Welcome to my humble abode".

Happy Halloween!

Vitruviansquid
2017-10-30, 05:21 PM
Put a puppy in their way as they are walking down the street. If they kick the puppy, they are evil.

Unfortunately, this test also requires an evil person to do the administering, as exposing a puppy to such danger is also evil.

dascarletm
2017-10-30, 05:42 PM
How someone laughs is a dead giveaway. If it could be described as maniacal, they are probably evil.

Cernor
2017-10-30, 06:39 PM
If their go-to insult is calling people fools (in the Disney villain sense rather than Mr. T sense).

If they have no sense of proportional retribution: calling them a doofus is a crime punishable by death.

"I'm not evil, I'm chaotic neutral!"

JAL_1138
2017-10-30, 07:52 PM
Are they standing between the party and sufficient loot to be worth the trouble? Are they refusing to cooperate with our demands requests for information? Are they worth enough XP to be worth the trouble? If yes to any of the above, can we get away with killing them without getting in more trouble than it's worth? Then they must be evil, and in the interest of justice and the cause of goodness and righteousness (and loot and XP), we must now kill them and take their stuff.

FreddyNoNose
2017-10-30, 07:55 PM
Characters are not much the evil radar blip compared to extra planar evil.

Green Elf
2017-10-30, 09:47 PM
Is the princess you saved very compliant with rescue? It's a succubus.

He has a goatee
Wears long, dark robes
Is a royal advisor
Laughs hysterically
Has a mask
Is disfigured
Spends much time on a throne
And has extensive monologues

Deophaun
2017-10-30, 11:50 PM
Asks for their fillet "well done."
Puts ketchup on a hotdog.
Pronounces the "e" at the end of cache, steppe, or forte.
Roots for the Yankees.
Takes the last of the toilet paper and doesn't replace it.
Greets people with "hot out today, isn't it?" when it's really, really hot out.
Drives in the center lane going five miles under the speed limit.
Takes their baby to a theater.

Kane0
2017-10-30, 11:56 PM
Rule of thumb: If it looks ugly, it’s probably evil.

Tanarii
2017-10-31, 01:28 AM
I second that if it's between you and the loot, it's clearly Evil.

I like my bad guys cartoonishly evil:
Always wear stylish black.
Say they want to punch kittens whenever they get mad.
Pause the fight to ask the PCs to come over to his side.
Threaten to go after the PCs families, just as soon as he beats them in this final showdown.


Otoh, the one thing I've always wanted to use from the evil overlord list: If a captured PC says "I'd rather die first", kill them without another word.



Puts ketchup on a hotdog.
Hey now, we're talking about Evil here.

Not those that have mastered the diabolical arts and left mere Evil in their wake.

DataNinja
2017-10-31, 02:11 AM
How do you tell if a character is Evil?
Detect Evil. :smallamused:

Bogwoppit
2017-10-31, 02:55 AM
Considers any of the PC races to be inferior
Seeks peace through total war
Defends vile actions as being "for the greater good"

Anonymouswizard
2017-10-31, 04:45 AM
Is it a PC? Then it's probably evil.

If it takes the last biscuit without offering.
If it consumes marmite. Chaotic evil if it dips Twiglits in marmite.

Hopeless
2017-10-31, 07:37 AM
Throw them with what looks like child off the side of a bridge obviously the child has a rope tied around their waist, if the person deliberately let's go rather than risk the child's life they're clearly not evil and should be rescued if they ignore the child's plight to escape themselves they're clearly evil!
Please note if they climb up the rope you must allow the chance to pull the rope up in case they're not evil but in case you haven't noticed that child is actually a halfling paladin with a ring of water walking...

Well just because you're good doesn't mean you're dumb!

Calthropstu
2017-10-31, 07:44 AM
Asks for their fillet "well done."
Puts ketchup on a hotdog.
Pronounces the "e" at the end of cache, steppe, or forte.
Roots for the Yankees.
Takes the last of the toilet paper and doesn't replace it.
Greets people with "hot out today, isn't it?" when it's really, really hot out.
Drives in the center lane going five miles under the speed limit.
Takes their baby to a theater.

How could you not put ketchup on hot dogs? And the Yankees are awesome... you're just jealous that your team has less than half the WS wins they do.
Cache and steppe the e is in fact silent, but you are supposed to pronounce it in forte. And it's not my job to replace tp, that's done by the cleaning crew. And it really is kind of hot out isn't it?
Sorry about the baby, couldn't find a sitter and my radiator has been acting up so I don't wanna go too fast, and I use the center lane because I'm afraid of heights and when I cross bridges I don't wanna see over the side.

OfTheLinKuei
2017-10-31, 07:49 AM
If I kill them and they had loot on their persons, they were evil. If they didn't, then they weren't evil yet but could possibly turn evil in the future, so in this case the heroism was preemptive. So either way it's fine.

Segev
2017-10-31, 09:29 AM
Are they trustworthy enough that I don't find them likely to backstab me? Then I care little whether they're evil or not. I am, after all, a necromancer.

I am more concerned with determining if they're good, and if so, how pragmatic they are about it.

Red Fel
2017-10-31, 10:09 AM
If I'm doing my job right, you don't have to tell. Because by the time I'm finished, there's only one right answer.

Everyone.

Keltest
2017-10-31, 10:16 AM
If I'm doing my job right, you don't have to tell. Because by the time I'm finished, there's only one right answer.

Everyone.

In that there is only one person left?

Stelio Kontos
2017-10-31, 10:19 AM
Set up a classic trolley problem. If they ask how soon the next train will be along, they're probably evil.

Segev
2017-10-31, 10:23 AM
If I'm doing my job right, you don't have to tell. Because by the time I'm finished, there's only one right answer.

Everyone.

Here's where we differ, my friend. Given a choice, I'd love a world filled with good aligned people with a pragmatic or lawful bent. Being the only evil person around puts surprisingly few limits on one's behavior if one understands the rules the good live by, and makes your life a lot easier when you don't have to worry about the backstabbing evil folks turning on you.

NRSASD
2017-10-31, 11:07 AM
If it bleeds, it's probably evil. If it doesn't bleed, you know it's EVIL.

Guizonde
2017-10-31, 11:49 AM
evil, huh? if whatever i say provokes an alignment change, probably evil.

if it provokes an alignment change in someone else, definitely evil.

if it can be solved by a crowbar, not an evil act, but a pragmatic one.

if it can't be solved by gratuitous application of violence, chances are it's a riddle. so, not evil.

if it's teflon-coated plot armored, it's a dmpc. judicious application of high-velocity bricks should solve the problem of the evil dm.

if it makes me giggle for too long, it's probably psychotic. jury's out on if that's evil or not. dead babies? consequence of evil. necrophagist cannibal undead babies? evil. try solving it with a crowbar. usually works.

Spookykid
2017-10-31, 12:06 PM
if it looks like a gnome or talks like a gnome or smells like a gnome, its evil and should be killed

Mastikator
2017-10-31, 12:48 PM
I can't tell if someone is evil, I can only think that someone is evil. Nothing is either good or evil, only thinking makes it so.

legomaster00156
2017-10-31, 12:51 PM
Don't forget goatees. Goatees are evil.

Red Fel
2017-10-31, 12:55 PM
Don't forget goatees. Goatees are evil.

Goatees are stylish.

Spore
2017-10-31, 12:59 PM
If it takes the last biscuit without offering.

*stroking his goatee* And I'd do it again in a heart beat!

Deophaun
2017-10-31, 01:00 PM
Don't forget goatees. Goatees are evil.
Just because they're enslaved by evil masterminds and forced to sit on their chins does not make goatees evil.

Joe the Rat
2017-10-31, 01:04 PM
Goatees are stylish.
Damn straight!
/em strokes goatee while contemplating


How someone laughs is a dead giveaway. If it could be described as maniacal, they are probably evil.
Whelp, now I know what sorts of careers I should direct my daughter towards. Girl has a cackle like Baba Yaga on nitrous.

denthor
2017-10-31, 01:51 PM
Is the princess you saved very compliant with rescue? It's a succubus.

He has a goatee
Wears long, dark robes
Is a royal advisor
Laughs hysterically
Has a mask
Is disfigured
Spends much time on a throne
And has extensive monologues

Question if the thing with the dark robes,attacks.

We put it down decide the robes are to great a bargain to destroy. You know robes of mage armor +6 . If my good 1/2 orc puts them decides that dark purple is her color is she just chaotic or is she just evil?

FreddyNoNose
2017-10-31, 02:26 PM
If it bleeds, it's probably evil. If it doesn't bleed, you know it's EVIL.

Is that you Mr. Garrison?

Deophaun
2017-10-31, 02:29 PM
We put it down decide the robes are to great a bargain to destroy. You know robes of mage armor +6 . If my good 1/2 orc puts them decides that dark purple is her color is she just chaotic or is she just evil?
When you have to raze or enslave an entire underwater molluscan kingdom (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyrian_purple) just to dye your napkin, of course the color is evil.

lunaticfringe
2017-10-31, 02:38 PM
Prominent Underbites
Red Eyes
Horns
Suspicious lack of defenseless persons, like children & the elderly, in the community.
Spiky Armor on a nonDwarf

Tanarii
2017-10-31, 03:01 PM
Suspicious lack of defenseless persons, like children & the elderly, in the community.
Improtant for both the bad guys, because they already did something to them. And important yo the good guys, so they don't have to deal with the now orphaned monsters-to-be.

lunaticfringe
2017-10-31, 03:05 PM
Improtant for both the bad guys, because they already did something to them. And important yo the good guys, so they don't have to deal with the now orphaned monsters-to-be.

Indeed, making orphans ain't heroic.

Anonymouswizard
2017-10-31, 03:12 PM
Suspicious lack of defenseless persons, like children & the elderly, in the community.


Improtant for both the bad guys, because they already did something to them. And important yo the good guys, so they don't have to deal with the now orphaned monsters-to-be.


Indeed, making orphans ain't heroic.

I'm so tempted to make a character with the backstory of 'while I was at my first day of school my parents were killed by adventurers for their village sacrificing all children to dark gods' now.

kivzirrum
2017-10-31, 03:31 PM
If their go-to insult is calling people fools (in the Disney villain sense rather than Mr. T sense).

...Uh oh :smalleek: I think I'm evil.


Asks for their fillet "well done."
...
Greets people with "hot out today, isn't it?" when it's really, really hot out.

These two things are some next level evil.



Spiky Armor on a nonDwarf

Spiky armor is not an indicator of evil when on a dwarf? I was not aware of this, actually!

Keltest
2017-10-31, 03:38 PM
Spiky armor is not an indicator of evil when on a dwarf? I was not aware of this, actually!

Of course not. They could be a Pwent.

lunaticfringe
2017-10-31, 03:52 PM
Of course not. They could be a Pwent.

Yup. It's a Forgotten Realms thing. I'm not sure if it was in 3.5 or 4e but 5e has the Dwarf Only Battlerager Barbarian. Spiked Armor is their shtick.

Jay R
2017-10-31, 08:02 PM
I like the traditional Marvel Comics approach. When he first sees you, if he tries to beat you up, he's another good guy. If he tries to shoot you, he's a bad guy.

kivzirrum
2017-11-01, 07:18 AM
Of course not. They could be a Pwent.


Yup. It's a Forgotten Realms thing. I'm not sure if it was in 3.5 or 4e but 5e has the Dwarf Only Battlerager Barbarian. Spiked Armor is their shtick.

Oh wow, I know what y'all are talking about now. I forgot all about those fellows! That really brings me back, haha!

Segev
2017-11-01, 08:07 AM
Don't forget goatees. Goatees are evil.


Goatees are stylish.

Given these facts, I think we can conclude, logically, that evil is stylish.

Gravitron5000
2017-11-01, 08:08 AM
Has more than zero hats made of infants, alive or dead.

Calthropstu
2017-11-01, 08:25 AM
Given these facts, I think we can conclude, logically, that evil is stylish.

If evil is stylish, and stylish is good...
Evil is good. HOORAY FOR EVIL.

Alcore
2017-11-01, 09:32 AM
Is it human?
Is it wearing black or white robes?
Is it spouting nonsense about a greater good?
Is it hugging a tree?

Best to kill it. Come brothers, we will spill over them like a green tide!

Tanarii
2017-11-01, 11:52 AM
Given these facts, I think we can conclude, logically, that evil is stylish.
Of course it is. In a slightly effeminate way. Whereas Good is masculine, which means grubby & smelly, gets the job done, plain spoken, and all around generally blue collar.

That's why no one really trusts supposedly good Paladins are actually good, what with their Shining Armor and Noble ways.

2D8HP
2017-11-01, 02:05 PM
...That's why no one really trusts supposedly good Paladins are actually good, what with their Shining Armor and Noble ways.


Seems absolutely reasonable to me!

:biggrin:

Samzat
2017-11-02, 06:10 AM
Mind if i link a vid that lampshades this exact topic?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ELTusRpPzd8
If you or a loved one has resting villain face, please DO NOT consult your local superhero

Garimeth
2017-11-02, 08:28 PM
Conversely if someone seems TOO good.

The centerpiece villain in my current game was essentially the High Priestess of
Pelor, and then decided the gods aren't good enough gods.

EDIT: For sake of clarification she's willing to use some pretty gruesome means to attain goddess-hood, and she genuinely plans to be a good goddess, but she is willing to do some heinous stuff to get there.

Sinewmire
2017-11-03, 04:41 AM
"'Ere, boss, 'ow does we tell which of them fliers is ours and which is enemies?"
"Right, rookie, 'eres 'ow we do it in Deff Skwadron! If you shoot at 'em and you miss, it's one of ours!
If you shoot at it and you down 'em, it's an enemy!"
"Works a treat, that, boss!"
...
"Gorkin' rookies. Wot are dey teechin' at flight skool dese days?"
"We got a flight skool? 'Ow long's that been goin' on?"
*cuff*
"Nobody likes a smartboy, Gimzod."

-From the proud honour roll of Death Squadron, Ork fly-boyz.

Anonymouswizard
2017-11-03, 05:03 AM
Oh, and look out for the accent. If it's a French accent then they're always evil, best to valiantly slay them and loot the corpse now.

If my notgirlfriendbecauseofreasonsandenglishchannel asks I did not say this, not even a little bit.

Personification
2017-11-03, 03:26 PM
Oh, and look out for the accent. If it's a French accent then they're always evil, best to valiantly slay them and loot the corpse now.
Same goes for refined British accent, unless they are a child, a young tutor who is liked by children, a rebellious but still somehow LG man-of-the-people type leader guy, a family member of a different evil British person, or in a work where everyone is British.

Note that none of the above mean that they aren't evil, they just mean that the person probably isn't, and are exceptions to the Law of British Villainy.

2D8HP
2017-11-03, 04:15 PM
Same goes for refined British accent....


:amused:

Refined British accent means that they're Roman Senator baddies, or German villians of high rank, yet the lower ranked Romans and Germans do not have British accents, but Russian generals have German accents.

Hollywood has taught me so much!

Segev
2017-11-03, 04:55 PM
:amused:

Refined British accent means that they're Roman Senator baddies, or German villians of high rank, yet the lower ranked Romans and Germans do not have British accents, but Russian generals have German accents.

Hollywood has taught me so much!

And Russian Captains have Scottish ones.

2D8HP
2017-11-03, 05:20 PM
And Russian Captains have Scottish ones.

Highlander

"Wait, Connery is Ramirez, and Lambert is MacLeod?"

Marlowe
2017-11-04, 08:50 AM
Ramius was Lithuanian. The accent was obviously a translation convention. Like we give the Spartan characters in Classical plays Scots accent to differentiate them from the Athenians.

My contribution; quoting poetry in normal conversation is definitely a bad sign.

Wraith
2017-11-04, 09:27 AM
Do they smoke cigarettes through a long cigarette holder? (Cruella De Ville, 101 Dalmatians; The Penguin, DC Comics)
Do they wear black gloves even indoors? (Max Schrek, Batman Returns
Do they own, or work "on the board" for, a large corporation or bank or in high Government? (Harold Shum, Iron Fist; The Smiler, Transmetropolitan)
Do they have a skull motif on anything they own, especially: swords, furniture, jewellery? (Nazis, the Imperium of Man, etc)
Do they refer to themselves in the third person? (Dr. Doom, Marvel Comics)
Are they financially rich but do not have a Dark And Troubled Past? (Lex Luthor, DC Comics; Mason Verger, Hannibal)
Do they have a gruesome scar in an obvious place? (Herr Starr, Preacher)

One of these is a sign. Two is a warning. Evil lurks nearby.... :smalltongue:

Red Fel
2017-11-04, 12:09 PM
I feel like somewhere along the way this thread turned into "You might be a villain if..." So let's see what I can offer.

... if you and your associates dress like extras from Guys & Dolls.

... if you always pause before using the word "associates."

... if you frequently pause before pretty much any word.

... if you do so whilst smirking.

... if you have ever used the phrase, "She wasn't sick. She was sloppy."

... if you have ever felt the need to give "a little free advice" to one of the following: murderers, torturers, politicians, thieves, innkeepers or waitstaff, con artists.

Whyrocknodie
2017-11-04, 12:20 PM
The evil ones are the ones who lost.

rs2excelsior
2017-11-04, 08:30 PM
Do they have a skull motif on anything they own, especially: swords, furniture, jewellery? (Nazis, the Imperium of Man, etc)

"Are we the baddies?" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn1VxaMEjRU)

I feel like the posh English accent thing goes to the extreme either way. They're either the really smooth, experienced overseer who gives you the missions, or they're the classy LE main villain. No in between.

Additionally:
--If you're the only one with a non-standard accent (whatever the standard happens to be).
--If you feel the need to monologue at tactically inopportune moments.
--If you ever feel the need to utter the phrase "we have ways..." Bonus points if you say it in a German accent. Double bonus points if you do so and aren't actually German.
--If you're running an absolutist regime surrounded by democracies.

PhoenixPhyre
2017-11-04, 08:43 PM
Because of this thread I'm going to have to subvert sooner of these in my next campaign arc. Who's the villain? There are four options, and I think I'm going to play around with these ideas.

Now a serious response.

If you ever say "million" in a long, drawn-out way with your pinkie to your mouth, you might be a poser who claims to be evil. Really dude, a white cat? Demanding one million dollars? I'm afraid we at the International Villains and Evil Lords Society will have to withdraw your doctorate. It was only honorary, after all. And we had such hopes for you...sigh.

Red Fel
2017-11-04, 09:14 PM
I feel like the posh English accent thing goes to the extreme either way. They're either the really smooth, experienced overseer who gives you the missions, or they're the classy LE main villain. No in between.

Jaguar would agree with you. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7gR7EYjcP8)


If you ever say "million" in a long, drawn-out way with your pinkie to your mouth, you might be a poser who claims to be evil. Really dude, a white cat? Demanding one million dollars? I'm afraid we at the International Villains and Evil Lords Society will have to withdraw your doctorate. It was only honorary, after all. And we had such hopes for you...sigh.

I feel like there was a missed opportunity there, had you but changed the order and called it the "Execrable Villains and Insidious Lords Society." Alas, hindsight serves no man faithfully.

Personification
2017-11-04, 10:32 PM
I'm afraid we at the International Villains and Evil Lords Society will have to withdraw your doctorate. It was only honorary, after all. And we had such hopes for you...sigh.
I feel like there was a missed opportunity there, had you but changed the order and called it the "Execrable Villains and Insidious Lords Society." Alas, hindsight serves no man faithfully.
We At LOVEMUFFIN (http://phineasandferb.wikia.com/wiki/L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.) would have a similar policy, but all of the people in position to make policy decisions like that are at PetCo buying white cats.

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/phineasandferb/images/0/02/LOVEMUFFINLOGO.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/200?cb=20141118083808

PhoenixPhyre
2017-11-05, 10:37 AM
Jaguar would agree with you. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7gR7EYjcP8)



I feel like there was a missed opportunity there, had you but changed the order and called it the "Execrable Villains and Insidious Lords Society." Alas, hindsight serves no man faithfully.

Spelling ability is not part of IVEL. Following the rules is for those fools over on the “good” side.

Really, I just goofed. That was where I was going, but I’ll blame mobile. Sure. That’s it. Blame the mobile device. No Evil person admits fault.

Tanarii
2017-11-05, 10:53 AM
No Evil person admits fault.lol lots of evil posters then :smallamused:

PhoenixPhyre
2017-11-05, 11:05 AM
lol lots of evil posters then :smallamused:

Sadly all too true.

Anonymouswizard
2017-11-05, 11:56 AM
lol lots of evil posters then :smallamused:

Please, chaotic neutral posters :smalltongue:

Tanarii
2017-11-05, 12:18 PM
Please, chaotic neutral posters :smalltongue:
The ones who sometimes post under the influence of coffee, and seem like unreasonable ********s who get overly invested in their arguments, then next thirty minutes later post after they've eaten and are chillaxed out, and seem like a rational and reasonable person?

Honest Tiefling
2017-11-05, 01:04 PM
1) People who are ugly. This can include scarring. Remember however, there are good guy scars where the beauty/handsomeness of the person is 'intact'. If the scarring isn't perfectly arranged and easy to ignore, open fire.

2) Platinum blonde hair/Light blue eyes combined with pale skin. You probably get a pass if you have dark skin. Golden blonde hair means they are lawful good, unless the story is deconstructing tropes or a satire, in which case you should kill them because they're probably a hero trope gone wrong who will end up murdering tons of people.

3) Anyone refined or educated who does not have down to earth hobbies. Don't immediately kill all scholars, but do break into their homes to make sure they aren't secret necromancers or devil worshipers.

4) Nobles. So many of these wind up being evil or insane that you should probably just set the whole lot on fire and try again with their bastard half-brother. Save yourself a bit of trouble by jump starting the process.

5) All queens or older women who have not aged gracefully. If vain, terminate immediately with all prejudice. Queens of advanced age who are MILFs and not vain are probably safe. Princesses are also safe.

Kane0
2017-11-05, 05:43 PM
1) People who are ugly. This can include scarring. Remember however, there are good guy scars where the beauty/handsomeness of the person is 'intact'. If the scarring isn't perfectly arranged and easy to ignore, open fire.

2) Platinum blonde hair/Light blue eyes combined with pale skin. You probably get a pass if you have dark skin. Golden blonde hair means they are lawful good, unless the story is deconstructing tropes or a satire, in which case you should kill them because they're probably a hero trope gone wrong who will end up murdering tons of people.

3) Anyone refined or educated who does not have down to earth hobbies. Don't immediately kill all scholars, but do break into their homes to make sure they aren't secret necromancers or devil worshipers.

4) Nobles. So many of these wind up being evil or insane that you should probably just set the whole lot on fire and try again with their bastard half-brother. Save yourself a bit of trouble by jump starting the process.

5) All queens or older women who have not aged gracefully. If vain, terminate immediately with all prejudice. Queens of advanced age who are MILFs and not vain are probably safe. Princesses are also safe.


Rule of thumb: If it looks ugly, it’s probably evil.

Great minds :smallbiggrin:

TheTeaMustFlow
2017-11-06, 10:10 AM
Frankenstein's Law: Formal Education has tendencies towards evil. Doctorates in particular are highly suspicious.
- Jones' Corollary: The exception lies in general practitioners and archaeologists, who are 50/50. If either is evil, however, then they are guaranteed to be especially vile (Belloq's Exception)

Cromwell's Law: Legal authority earned by personal merit. Good authority figures either have no formal rank, or 'earned' their position by birth or divine right.

The Perfidious Albion Rule, part II: It is by tea alone that evil plans are set in motion. In particular, be suspicious of posh or unusual brews - a pot of Yorkshire might be safe (though be on your guard), but if they reach for the cardamon, start running.

(part I of the Perfidious Albion Rule has already been detailed above. To reiterate, shoot anyone speaking RP on sight, the Northern Irish and Cockney are to be considered highly suspicious, Southern Irish and Scots are a toss up, no one has any idea about the Welsh)

Anonymouswizard
2017-11-06, 10:31 AM
Frankenstein's Law: Formal Education has tendencies towards evil. Doctorates in particular are highly suspicious.
- Jones' Corollary: The exception lies in general practitioners and archaeologists, who are 50/50. If either is evil, however, then they are guaranteed to be especially vile (Belloq's Exception)

Bah, this sounds suspiciously like anti-intellectualism. Need I remind you that it is implied that The Doctor himself holds a PhD (from somewhere, probably in engineering), or the many professors who have used their knowledge of science to fight back against the alien menaces?

Segev
2017-11-06, 10:39 AM
... if you have ever used the phrase, "She wasn't sick. She was sloppy."
As long as you make Girl Scout Cookies with real Girl Scoutstm.


Anyone refined or educated who does not have down to earth hobbies. Don't immediately kill all scholars, but do break into their homes to make sure they aren't secret necromancers or devil worshipers.Secret necromancers? Lawful sir, I make no secret of it! At least, I assume you're at least claiming Lawful alignment, Honest Tiefling.


The Perfidious Albion Rule, part II: It is by tea alone that evil plans are set in motion. In particular, be suspicious of posh or unusual brews - a pot of Yorkshire might be safe (though be on your guard), but if they reach for the cardamon, start running.Tea, Earl Grey; hot.


Bah, this sounds suspiciously like anti-intellectualism. Need I remind you that it is implied that The Doctor himself holds a PhD (from somewhere, probably in engineering), or the many professors who have used their knowledge of science to fight back against the alien menaces?A significant amount of "evil" tropes are this, and anti-meritocratic.

TheTeaMustFlow
2017-11-06, 12:04 PM
Bah, this sounds suspiciously like anti-intellectualism. Need I remind you that it is implied that The Doctor himself holds a PhD (from somewhere, probably in engineering), or the many professors who have used their knowledge of science to fight back against the alien menaces?

Yes, one of the timestream's greatest war criminals, with countless genocides to his name. A fine example!


Tea, Earl Grey; hot.

Falls into the normal tea exception - Earl Grey really is not very posh at all. Also, I believe that gentlemen has a number of fairly dubious actions to his credit.

Tanarii
2017-11-06, 12:22 PM
Great minds :smallbiggrin:
But fools seldom differ?

(Nothing personal. I just think that's a funny comeback.)

2D8HP
2017-11-06, 12:26 PM
no one has any idea about the Welsh)

That is because there isn't any such nation as "Wales" that is accessible by normal mortal travel (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/oliverpritchett/3611843/No-Wales-doesnt-exist-we-checked.html)

"She even learnt the language of a strange country which Senior Cosetti had been told some people believed still existed, although no-one in the world could say where it was. The name of this country was Wales"
- Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke

This trait is shared by other places such as "Faerie", Wyoming (http://kisscasper.com/according-to-garfield-the-cat-wyoming-does-not-exist/), and the Cities of Bielefeld (http://www.citymetric.com/fabric/city-doesn-t-exist-and-when-angela-merkel-made-joke-story-bielefeld-2692), Germany, and Ys (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ys), Brittany/France.

Honest Tiefling
2017-11-06, 12:31 PM
Bah, this sounds suspiciously like anti-intellectualism. Need I remind you that it is implied that The Doctor himself holds a PhD (from somewhere, probably in engineering), or the many professors who have used their knowledge of science to fight back against the alien menaces?

Agreed with Segev, it is. That's because a hero executing a daring plan is a lot harder to write for a multitude of reasons, usually the former that it's easier to write someone punching things. And for fantasy works, having magic/knowledge turn you inside out, insane, or tentacly is a great explanation as to why the hero doesn't pick through most plot macguffins.

I mean, when you think about it, Superman inherited his powers, Lex Luthor worked for his technology.

And Earl Grey is posh depending on region. I imagine some places in 'Murica, sweet tea is the only heroic tea, and only then if it's made by grandma.

TheTeaMustFlow
2017-11-06, 12:56 PM
That is because there isn't any such nation as "Wales" that is accessible by normal mortal travel (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/oliverpritchett/3611843/No-Wales-doesnt-exist-we-checked.html).

Well no, not by mortal travel. But by a proper invocation of the Dread Sigil Odegra (https://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/M25_London_Orbital), specifically the Fourth Path of Mu (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M4_motorway)...

...I mean, no. Of course not. How silly of me.
RHEDEG
MAEN NHW'N DOD AR EICH ÔL

Calthropstu
2017-11-06, 06:14 PM
The evil ones are the ones who lost.

Also those who stand against you or try to keep the ideals, traditions or culture of those who lost.

Personification
2017-11-06, 10:57 PM
Bah, this sounds suspiciously like anti-intellectualism. Need I remind you that it is implied that The Doctor himself holds a PhD (from somewhere, probably in engineering), or the many professors who have used their knowledge of science to fight back against the alien menaces?
I believe that the Doctor has claimed at one point to be a doctor of "everything", and at another point "gastrointestinal parasites", never engineering.

Keltest
2017-11-06, 11:14 PM
But fools seldom differ?

(Nothing personal. I just think that's a funny comeback.)

Funny, but inaccurate. If theres one thing fools are good at, its finding a massive variety of ways to be foolish.

PhantasyPen
2017-11-06, 11:35 PM
I shall just assume this question is "how do I identify the villain of the plot as a player?" Because that's the easiest thing to answer.

Typically, if I cannot comprehend the thought process that a person runs on they're either really stupid or evil.
If I cannot empathize with their motivations, that's a good sign their evil, or at least so much an arse that there is no real difference.

Both the above statements are made under the provision that I been declared (by the rest of my group) to have the closest thing to a functioning moral compass at my gaming table and have probably the second-most experience with human psychology outside our DM.

Personification
2017-11-06, 11:38 PM
Funny, but inaccurate. If theres one thing fools are good at, its finding a massive variety of ways to be foolish.

True, but also, "great minds think alike" is possibly even more inaccurate, because argument is what smart people do for fun.

Weird color is for half sarcasm:smalltongue:

Honest Tiefling
2017-11-06, 11:39 PM
Typically, if I cannot comprehend the thought process that a person runs on they're either really stupid or evil.

Both the above statements are made under the provision that I been declared (by the rest of my group) to have the closest thing to a functioning moral compass at my gaming table and have probably the second-most experience with human psychology outside our DM.

The fact you seem to lump stupid in with the evil makes me a little worried about your group...

PhantasyPen
2017-11-06, 11:52 PM
The fact you seem to lump stupid in with the evil makes me a little worried about your group...

I was not doing that, I was merely trying to present the most accurate depiction of a criteria that is rather vague and ambiguous. Actions that are self-harming to the degree of idiocy are rather incomprehensible to me, as are actions that bring excessive harm onto others. The former is merely being foolish, the latter is the general definition of evil. If it looked like I was saying the two are one and the same that was not my intent and I apologize.

Honest Tiefling
2017-11-06, 11:59 PM
I was not doing that, I was merely trying to present the most accurate depiction of a criteria that is rather vague and ambiguous. Actions that are self-harming to the degree of idiocy are rather incomprehensible to me, as are actions that bring excessive harm onto others. The former is merely being foolish, the latter is the general definition of evil. If it looked like I was saying the two are one and the same that was not my intent and I apologize.

...Huh. I'm bad with sarcasm, are you purposefully trying to sound like a villian? Because we have:


Vocabulary = refinement = Evil
Dismissing all other sides as 'fools'
Uses the words 'fools'
Do you happen to have any disfiguring scars, by any chance? Maybe a long-haired cat? Long, flowing plantinum blonde hair? Maybe a trust fund or two?

PhantasyPen
2017-11-07, 12:12 AM
...Huh. I'm bad with sarcasm, are you purposefully trying to sound like a villian? Because we have:


Vocabulary = refinement = Evil
Dismissing all other sides as 'fools'
Uses the words 'fools'
Do you happen to have any disfiguring scars, by any chance? Maybe a long-haired cat? Long, flowing plantinum blonde hair? Maybe a trust fund or two?

As a matter of fact:

I have one scar on each of my index fingers. Both were obtained from knife-wielding accidents, a perfectly blue-collar hobby
I prefer dogs. Especially big dogs. (https://i.pinimg.com/736x/94/65/2f/94652fd655be082c4efd0732c50aa495--huge-dogs-giant-dogs.jpg)
My hair is black. Perfectly morally ambiguous.

(Darnit, you've got me responding in "imperious-mode" now...)

Honest Tiefling
2017-11-07, 12:15 AM
As a matter of fact:
I have one scar on each of my index fingers. Both were obtained from knife-wielding accidents, a perfectly blue-collar hobby

BAH! Easily concealed heroic scars!


I prefer dogs. Especially big dogs. (https://i.pinimg.com/736x/94/65/2f/94652fd655be082c4efd0732c50aa495--huge-dogs-giant-dogs.jpg)

...German shepards? Dobermans? Do they have threatening names at least?


My hair is black. Perfectly morally ambiguous.

Ambiguous indeed...I have my eye on you, Mister Fancy Pants. or Missus Fancy Pants, you don't have a gender marker.

PhantasyPen
2017-11-07, 12:23 AM
BAH! Easily concealed heroic scars!



...German shepards? Dobermans? Do they have threatening names at least?



Ambiguous indeed...I have my eye on you, Mister Fancy Pants. or Missus Fancy Pants, you don't have a gender marker.

German shepherds specifically scare me, and my last dog was named "Sweetie-Pie"



"They" or "Pen" is perfectly acceptable as pronouns. (Try using "Zhey" or "shi" and I might be forced to gate in some Titans)

Honest Tiefling
2017-11-07, 12:31 AM
German shepherds specifically scare me, and my last dog was named "Sweetie-Pie"

Proves nothing!


"They" or "Pen" is perfectly acceptable as pronouns. (Try using "Zhey" or "shi" and I might be forced to gate in some Titans)

Well, my mistake. Not sure what the gender-neutral version of 'mister' is, so it's just Fancy Pants. Because I am a upstanding, lawful member of society so I don't like to be overly formal....Hrm. Some editions give those summons more morally ambiguous alignments.

Another factor to throw onto the evil list: impeccable taste in clothing. The villian is always better dressed then the hero because apparently heroes are allergic to fashion?

PhantasyPen
2017-11-07, 12:41 AM
Another factor to throw onto the evil list: impeccable taste in clothing. The villian is always better dressed then the hero because apparently heroes are allergic to fashion?

If a villain is better-dressed, he's either a fop or high-society. The two are not mutually exclusive. I for one am appalled by the "heroic hobo" look that so many espouse, how can one claim to be Good if you don't look good?!

Honest Tiefling
2017-11-07, 12:45 AM
If a villain is better-dressed, he's either a fop or high-society. The two are not mutually exclusive. I for one am appalled by the "heroic hobo" look that so many espouse, how can one claim to be Good if you don't look good?!

If I wasn't convinced you were evil, I'd agree heartily! I mean, the evil side has it's share of bad facial hair, armor spikes and the embarrassment of drow fashion, but let's be honest, heroes need to branch into something other then earth tones or military olive. Especially since the hero clearly uses conditioner to get those flowing locks...So they're willing to spend the time on their hair but look like they went dumpster diving for their wardrobe?

PhantasyPen
2017-11-07, 12:48 AM
If I wasn't convinced you were evil, I'd agree heartily! I mean, the evil side has it's share of bad facial hair, armor spikes and the embarrassment of drow fashion, but let's be honest, heroes need to branch into something other then earth tones or military olive. Especially since the hero clearly uses conditioner to get those flowing locks...So they're willing to spend the time on their hair but look like they went dumpster diving for their wardrobe?

Exactly! Those slashes in your clothing do not look "rugged" ActionHero#467! The make you look like a streetwalker!

And on the topic of facial hair. The Fu-manchu has certainly taken a trend for the villainous hasn't it? I miss the old days when a chinese man rocking that particular mustache was going to be your next mentor figure instead of a crazy assassin.

Honest Tiefling
2017-11-07, 12:54 AM
Exactly! Those slashes in your clothing do not look "rugged" ActionHero#467! The make you look like a streetwalker!

Uhhh...Either you used the wrong phrase, or the prostitutes where you live really need some fashion advice.

PhantasyPen
2017-11-07, 01:30 AM
Uhhh...Either you used the wrong phrase, or the prostitutes where you live really need some fashion advice.

Considering I literally live East of Hell,(Hell Michigan that is) it's probably the latter.

Anonymouswizard
2017-11-07, 03:23 AM
I believe that the Doctor has claimed at one point to be a doctor of "everything", and at another point "gastrointestinal parasites", never engineering.

Bag, his expertise is always down to be with technology or some weird bit of science, it's either engineering or some form of science.

Remember, the Doctor is a very convincing lier, and doesn't tell people about his past.

New head canon, Time Lord's titles ate actually their highest qualification. The Doctor has a doctorate, the Master has a Matters degree, while the Rani has some vocational qualification.


German shepherds specifically scare me, and my last dog was named "Sweetie-Pie"

Very suspicious.


"They" or "Pen" is perfectly acceptable as pronouns. (Try using "Zhey" or "shi" and I might be forced to gate in some Titans)

What about zu?

Mutazoia
2017-11-07, 03:53 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWYCS6k1IOA

Tanarii
2017-11-07, 10:43 AM
German shepherds specifically scare me, and my last dog was named "Sweetie-Pie"
Speaking of which, I've always considered waitresses that use the terms "honey" & "sweetie-pie" to be pretty evil.

Samzat
2017-11-07, 10:58 AM
If they are inspired by a. Romans b. Nazis c. Mongols or d. All of the above, they are evil

Segev
2017-11-07, 12:20 PM
Another factor to throw onto the evil list: impeccable taste in clothing. The villian is always better dressed then the hero because apparently heroes are allergic to fashion?

You've not seen the fashion disasters that worship Khorne or who look like posers who wish Khorne existed so they could worship him. They all shop at Hot Topic and then dress it up with tacky spikes and skulls.

lunaticfringe
2017-11-07, 12:52 PM
You've not seen the fashion disasters that worship Khorne or who look like posers who wish Khorne existed so they could worship him. They all shop at Hot Topic and then dress it up with tacky spikes and skulls.

Khorne would totally be a Paladin God in D&D (especially ol skool Gygax D&D) with all the Honor & Discipline and combating worthy, dangerous foes nonsense. Those Khornites are totally aligned with Law & Good. Just really Angry Law & Good.

I'm mean he's at odds with The God of Overly Complex Plans & The God of Sex & Drugs. Both of those Gods are totes Evil.

Honest Tiefling
2017-11-07, 12:56 PM
You've not seen the fashion disasters that worship Khorne or who look like posers who wish Khorne existed so they could worship him. They all shop at Hot Topic and then dress it up with tacky spikes and skulls.

Better skulls and overly spiky armor then drab earth tones or a mere tank top. At leas there's effort herre! And red and black is always a classic color scheme.

PhantasyPen
2017-11-07, 12:58 PM
What about zu?

Now that's just insulting!

Chaosmancer
2017-11-08, 10:09 PM
If after you retrieve their lost jewelry/bones of their ancestor/fancy art/lost toy from a dangerous underground complex, and they give a simple thank you with a small smile, they are likely evil. This includes small children

Good people will either act like your help was insulting, or thank you gratuitously with a surplus of tears.

Also, if their office is nearly empty except for a large desk and a high backed chair, they are evil. Bookcases may imply evil if they are neat instead of messy, or if the room does not belong kindly grandfatherly individual and has a homey sense of understatement.

Trust me, you can tell the difference if you're a good guy, and if you can't you're evil

PhantasyPen
2017-11-08, 10:59 PM
Sex! I can't believe we didn't mention sex!

If they continue to have coitus when a non-naked individual or messenger enters the room, they're definitely evil.


(... Or was that Chaotic?)

lunaticfringe
2017-11-08, 11:08 PM
Also, if their office is nearly empty except for a large desk and a high backed chair, they are evil. Bookcases may imply evil if they are neat instead of messy, or if the room does not belong kindly grandfatherly individual and has a homey sense of understatement.

Trust me, you can tell the difference if you're a good guy, and if you can't you're evil

Crap, I'm evil. I hate things & clutter. My apartment has a lot of space.

My dad isn't a hoarder but he is hoarder adjacent, he tinkers with junk & fixes stuff. And my mom covers every surface with knick knacks. Growing up was claustrophobic. I like my empty.

Honest Tiefling
2017-11-09, 12:17 AM
Sex! I can't believe we didn't mention sex!

If they continue to have coitus when a non-naked individual or messenger enters the room, they're definitely evil.


(... Or was that Chaotic?)

That's pretty much chaotic. Pretty sure Lawful Evil types are too stuffy and efficient to indulge a bit on the job anyway.

Anonymouswizard
2017-11-09, 04:42 AM
That's pretty much chaotic. Pretty sure Lawful Evil types are too stuffy and efficient to indulge a bit on the job anyway.

Hey, that's a massive stereotype of usthem! A massive stereotype of them.

I mean, it's true, but...

Darokar
2017-11-09, 07:16 AM
Chaotic nuetral, probably evil. If they were a doctor at some point, could be evil. If they ask the dm to trade all their gold to get dynamite, might be evil. If they say that their face is always concealed, might be evil. And in a few campaigns I’ve been in, I’ve had people carry around dead bodies and the eyes of those they’ve killed. DEFINETLY EVIL. Everyone I’ve played with has been upfront about their alignment, either by helping children get home or assassinating the bartender.