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View Full Version : Gamer Humor Describe characters or party compositions in dumb ways



Protato
2017-11-04, 10:34 PM
I'm joining a Pathfinder game where the characters are being sent to go and destabilize a corrupt government, and also fight gangs of bigoted brigands roaming the streets. And who's going on this political mission? A dangerous assassin, skilled in the use of poison! A pious knight, using his faith as his source of strength. A priest, healing all those who need their bodies mended. And some theatre kid. (A poisoner rogue, a paladin, a cleric, and a bard)

Anyone else have any bad or amusing descriptions of their party/character?

Lord Raziere
2017-11-05, 12:07 AM
A group of young adults and an old man plot a conspiracy to overthrow the government of the entire galaxy. The leader is a paranoid high school delinquent who looks like a tomboy biker girl willing to kill anyone in their way, the brains of the operation is an octopus-headed mastermind who has cut planets in half based on gut feelings, the moral center is a secret agent hailing from a caste based society ruled by an immortal queen that is keeping the world outside her kingdom a secret from her subjects for what she believes is their own good, and the youngest of the group is a hedonist and shameless flirt who has no problems with blowing up planets, the girlfriend of the leader is passive naive idealist who kills enemies with superior firepower. Together they fight a ruler broken by the death of his wife who tries to fill the void left by her with comedy and enjoying himself. Their allies include a pink-mohawked fool who provoked said broken ruler into destroying his planet, a young god childishly railing against his inevitable destiny, a cat who can see the future, a sun-worshipping god queen with no moral flexibility, an amoral athlete obsessed with punching blonde people, and an eldritch abomination of nature that doesn't realize how dangerous anything is, including themselves.

Other people who have been in group at one point or another include: a long-winded narcissistic bug man, a battle-happy berserker with wild mood swings, a scientist that tried to martyr himself every few minutes, a guy who didn't realize he was half-dragon, and two brothers out for revenge on said broken ruler.

They are the good guys.

Arbane
2017-11-07, 06:22 PM
A bunch of hooligans met in a bureaucrat's waiting room, and decided to team up to kill monsters. A dwarf animal-keeper with an extended family and a pet attack pig, a flame-scarred fire-magician who survived a demon attack, a conniving 'accountant' who works for a 'merchant', and a barbarian spellcaster who tries to be a moral anchor when she's not hacking things up with a greatsword. Later additions to the team are The World's Second Worst Monk and his magic tattoos, a half-elemental-half-drow druid who eats dirt, and a recitent shapeshifting young noblewoman with powerful magic music.

Best Pathfinder game I've been in yet.

JBPuffin
2017-11-07, 07:16 PM
It started when a scaly dude who worships Thor, a librarian obsessed with books and magic and helping people, and some granddaughter found a book belonging to a Not-so-dead dead god. A narcissistic greatsword-slinger (third of his line), a lizard who beats people with his broken shackles, a wilderness guide, another wilderness guide, the orc, a cat person, and a scaly dudette with murder-knives all come and go as players do the same. Hoping to play this week

The Glyphstone
2017-11-07, 10:11 PM
Tom Cruise, Russell Crowe, and the TF2 Heavy walk into a space bar. The Inquisition threatens to execute them for heresy.

Rogue Trader really is an awesome game.

Jay R
2017-11-07, 10:18 PM
Your group should always have one person in full plate carrying a mace, morning star or flail. His primary function is to heal.

Personification
2017-11-07, 10:19 PM
Tom Cruise, Russell Crowe, and the TF2 Heavy walk into a space bar. The Inquisition threatens to execute them for heresy.

Rogue Trader really is an awesome game.

I think this is the plot of Mistborn TFE:smallamused:

John Campbell
2017-11-07, 11:29 PM
So a luchador, a juvenile delinquent Pokémon master, a two-inch-tall aggressively-French chef, and the Elmer's Glue mascot walk into a bar...