View Full Version : TShirt Contest

Andre Fairchilde
2007-08-17, 06:53 PM
Hello -
My wife (ER) and I are going to the Minnesota Renaissance Festival (http://www.renaissancefest.com/MRF/) on Sunday August 19th.

Last year we had shirts made - her's says: "I married my DM (For the XP)"

I had a black shirt with the phrase "ANTIPALADIN (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antipaladin)" in very gothic dark lettering.

This year my Anti-paladin shirt won't fit comfortably. :smallmad:

So, is there another catchy phrase you can think of that is old school D&D?

I was thinking of a quick phrases like:

What do you have that is very catchy, that you'd laugh at if you saw walking by you? Winner will probably be made into a shirt tomorrow.

You now have about 24 hours... Best catch-phrase wins! ER and I are the judges!

***Contest extented out to next Friday. All participants may vote, best vote will be worn to the Twin Cities Meet Up next Saturday.***

2007-08-17, 07:26 PM
Hum... totally obscure reference that nobody will understand: "I escaped from Zanzer's Dungeon!" (1991 Black Box Dungeon and Dragons)

Mattarias, King.
2007-08-17, 07:43 PM
:smallbiggrin: Nice shirts. Hm, how about.. "My THACO is bigger than your THACO!" .. or something? ^^; You said old-school D&D..

2007-08-18, 02:25 AM
"You couldn't [VERB] your way out of [LOCATION]"

Verbs to suggest:
Roleplay, Power-game...

Locations to suggest:
A paperbag, any specific old dungeon module...

2007-08-18, 03:47 AM
"Don't make me roll for initiative...."
"I fought the Gazebo, and the Gazebo won."

I'll probably think of more later on...

2007-08-18, 03:55 AM
"Dragonslayer needed. No experience expected."
"Mages don't kill people. SPELLS kill people!"
"Never trust a smiling rogue throwing dice."
"Life's a die, and then you bitch."
"AD&D mistake #1, thinking that THAC0 is Mexican Cuisine."

2007-08-18, 04:04 AM
I would try (but this is me) to get a shirt with something off Dork Tower.

Particually This (http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/dorktower/archive.asp?nextform=viewcomic&id=525) comic.

You could try...

"Will Game for Experience"
"Experience Wanted, Gold Helpful"
"My inner child is Cthulhu."

Sorry. These may not be any good =S.

The Prince of Cats
2007-08-18, 05:39 AM
"Blue Valkyrie needs food badly!" (not D&D, but still old-school)
"I attack the Darkness!" (well, it would make my group laugh)

2007-08-18, 05:40 AM
Last couple of time I was the Renaissance festival here I picked up some pirate themed shirts: one says "wheres the booty?" with the skull and crossbones, and the other says "give me your booty" also with the skull and crossbones.

One of my favorite bumperstickers:
Jesus Saves!
Everybody else takes full damage

"I beat the Terisque!" (couple of second likes you can use)
"No really I did!!"
"And all I got was this stupid shirt"

2007-08-18, 05:55 AM
"I polymorphed your dog into this shirt"
"My T-shirt's a half dragon"
"Favored Enemy: Humans +2"
"Danger! My animal companion is invisible and hungry."
"Wild shaped"

2007-08-18, 06:10 AM
Pelor was black, Bigby is actually Asmodeus and the Government is lieing about 4.0.

Druids do it 24/7.

2007-08-18, 08:10 AM
"Rogues do it from behind"

2007-08-18, 08:32 AM
"Don't you just love making your own scenarios?"


Front: "Yes, I'm a gamer"

Back: "No, I don't bite. Much."

Swedish chef
2007-08-18, 08:34 AM
I vote for: "Why use resurrection when you can just bribe the GM?"
Something like this actually happened in a campaign a friend ran many years ago. One character got killed and the player dove under the table and emerged with a fresh 2 litre bottle of Cola wich was slamed before the GM. The deadly wound suddenly turned out to be a bad but not lethal damage :D

2007-08-18, 08:51 AM
"I played DnD before it was cool."

"Roll for initiative, Monkeyboy!!"

variation on the Jesus Saves...

front "Jesus Saves..."
Back "...And takes half damage"

changing up a cthulu shirt...

"Why choose the lesser evil:
Strahd '08"

"What's your AC?"

Andre Fairchilde
2007-08-18, 08:58 AM
Wow! You guys are makin me roll!

I love the Strahd campaign one! That's awsome!

Some of these are pretty good for a t-shirt (my favorites in bold).

The Last Word
As quoted by Gregg Sharp
Dragon Magazine, January 1988

“Well, I think that’s the last of them.”
“Hey, what do you suppose this lever does?”
“I couldn’t find any traps.”
“I disarmed the trap.”
“That’s not really poison gas.”
“Come on in! The water’s fine!”
“Sure glad that’s over with. I’m taking off my armor.”
“Okay, wishing well – make me a (insert name of a nonliving or inanimate object).”
“I hope this bridge holds up.”
“What landshark?”
“Death before dishonor! Attack!”
“Things couldn’t possibly get any worse.”
“Of course I trust the thief. He’s in our party.”
“We didn’t really need a cleric anyway.”
“I’ll drink it.”
“This is a wimp dungeon.”
“Why did our torch flames turn blue?”
“What? No, I wasn’t reading your module. I was just looking at the pictures.”
“I go up to the lich and try to pick it’s pocket.”
“Geez, what an ugly (insert character class here).”
“The door wasn’t trapped the last time we were here.”
“The minotaur’s got me in a bear hug? Great! I cast flame strike on it.”
“Brak? That’s a stupid name for a barbarian.”
“A wizard, huh? I throw my drink at him.”
“I don’t need to read the directions.”
“It’s a troll. So what?”
“This looks like a good place to set up camp.”
“I open the door and rush forward with my spear set in a charge.”
“I don’t care. I won’t retreat no matter how big or powerful an opponent is.”
“They’ll never find me here.”
“Does a 3 save?”
“Push the red button first, then the blue one. No, wait –”
“We’ll go in. We can handle anything!”
“What do you suppose that rushing noise is?”
“Oh no, not again.”
“Nothing ever happens on the first level.”
“Shh! There it is again.”
“Naw, the DM won’t hit us with anything until we get to the dungeon.”
“If the merchant doesn’t like it, I’ll just run him through. I’ll kill his guards, too.”
“I don’t need any help.”
“I’ve never seen a ballista before. What’s it do?”
“Hey in there! Come out and fight!”
“Giants: The bigger they are, the harder they fall.”
“I’m a cleric. I can turn all undead.”
“What luck! A demon prince! If we kill him, we get a horde of treasure and experience points.”
“Oh, we won’t die. The DM won’t let us.”
“It looks like some kind of mold.”
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
“They’re just kobolds.”

Zar Peter
2007-08-18, 03:51 PM
How about:

Mithral Shirt
Armor Class: +2
Dexterity Bonus: +6
Arcane spell failure 10%

Fax Celestis
2007-08-18, 03:56 PM
T-Shirt of Awesomeness +5
This shirt is awesome.
Strong Evocation; CL 17th; Craft Wondrous Item; miracle; price 1,249,000 gp

Ego Slayer
2007-08-18, 04:01 PM
Shirt of Charisma +1.

I saw that on the Internets somewhere, and I want it. =P

2007-08-18, 04:33 PM
"D&D 3.5 is obsolete now"

Mr. Moon
2007-08-18, 04:42 PM
"D&D: Where saying 'What a player!' means something else entirely."

2007-08-18, 06:59 PM
This'll have to be extended out until next weekend. So people can keep putting in sayings if they want, or vote on the ones already in the thread, and Andre will pick the one with the most votes on Friday the 24th and will wear it to the Midwest Meet-up on the 25th. :smallbiggrin:

2007-08-18, 07:09 PM
I saw a baby one time with the stats laid out. They were all low except for a perfect cha. :smallbiggrin:

2007-08-18, 07:10 PM
"Epic Level Commoner"

2007-08-18, 07:29 PM
"my 12th level barbarian killed your honer student"

2007-08-18, 07:56 PM
"Life's a die, and then you bitch."

Okay, that made me laugh. :smallbiggrin:

My uncle has a great t-shirt that says "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." I laugh every time I see him in it. (He's the one who introduced me to D&D)

2007-08-18, 07:59 PM
Yeah, I have that T-Shirt too Dragonrider. It's a great one! I also have a one that has a picture of two d20s, that says..."Yes...these are natural." :smallwink:

2007-08-18, 09:57 PM
My uncle has a great t-shirt that says "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." I laugh every time I see him in it. (He's the one who introduced me to D&D)
One along those lines:

"Do not anger a bard, for you are silly and would make a funny song."

And others:

"Death is merely a chance to roll up a new character."
"When in doubt... FIREBALL!"
"Munchkins cast Control Cthulhu."
"Jesus saves... Moses invests... Cthulhu squanders."

2007-08-19, 08:41 AM
"My other shirt is Mithral."
"DR 1/--"
"When in doubt, attack the darkness."
"Will quest for Gp"

"I killed a dragon, what have you done latley?"

2007-08-19, 08:57 AM
Hmm. There's always that time-worn classic, I ROLLED A 1. On that note, if you have a nice, bright shirt, tie-dyed say, perhaps "-4 penalty to Hide" might be in order...

2007-08-19, 09:07 AM
One of my favorite bumperstickers:
Jesus Saves!
Everybody else takes full damage

This one's even cool enough that it appeared in Erfworld :smallsmile:

For old-school go for:


No class required.

2007-08-19, 09:21 AM
"Troglodytes and geek conventions have three things in common. They're scaly, ugly to look at, and they have a stench attack."

"Who needs armour with an 18 Dex?"

"I escaped from Racoon City and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt and the T-Virus."

"Screw the rules, my die are weighted."

"If looks could kill you'd have the abilty to cast Weird as a spell-like ability 3/day"

"My other T-Shirt has Greater Magic Weapon cast on it."

"I prepared Implosion this morning, bitch."

2007-08-19, 08:02 PM
I don't have any funny ideas, but I want to say I really like the Shirt of Charisma +1. I could definitely do with a boost there, that's for sure.

2007-08-20, 06:42 AM
I'd just simply put "Shirt +1" on it. Simple and elegant. I might actually want that shirt for myself even though I'd never wear it in public :smalltongue:

2007-08-20, 08:05 AM
"+1 Glamered Breast Plate... Honest"

2007-08-20, 08:28 AM
*comes in with a bucket of chilled water*


2007-08-20, 12:47 PM
*comes in with a bucket of chilled water*


*Shakes Torso in seductive manner*

2007-08-20, 02:52 PM
Real Life Comics has the classic "Charisma 20 (http://www.reallifecomics.com/store/item/shirt_charisma20.html)" T-shirt...

Mad Scientist
2007-08-20, 02:56 PM
How about "Will DM for food"

2007-08-20, 03:57 PM
Bards do it orally.

Advanced Erinyes
(More for the ladies, I think...)

T-Shirt of the Mighty Servant of Leuk-O

Warlocks can do it once per round, forever.

And some Planescape ones, since I'm in a Planescapey mood...
Guvners do it methodically.
Signers do it by themselves.
Godsmen get better every time they do it.
The Indeps don't do it like anyone else.
The Transcendent Order do it.

Mad Scientist
2007-08-21, 02:01 PM
How about a shirt that says "Meat shield" if you like fighter characters.

Or I don't know if you do Magic the Gathering, but I saw a guy with a shirt once that said "I'm not fat, I'm a 7/7 with trample"

2007-08-21, 03:07 PM
"Zombie Food"
"I prepared explosive runes thes morning" (written really small)
"AC 0" (old school)
"Ask me about my really big sword"

Not D&D, but I saw it on a web site once and it amused me:
Front: Shrödinger's cat is dead.
Back: Shrödinger's cat is not dead.

Mc. Lovin'
2007-08-21, 03:19 PM
"I played DnD before it was cool."

That wins it for me :smallbiggrin:

2007-08-21, 03:26 PM
Not necessarily D&D, but I liked it when I saw the following: 'Your reading skill has been increased by 1.'

2007-08-21, 03:48 PM
I roll 20's.

You underestimate the sneak attack.

Hey GM, where's the mountain dew?

I rolled when THACO was important.

D&D 1.0, some dice, and a little imagination is all you need.

I cast magic missle at the darkness, a gazebo attacked, and all I got was some this lousy t-shirt.

2007-08-21, 03:49 PM
Not necessaroily DnD but:

"Give quiche a chance."
"It may be a horribly salivating monster of unspeakable horror but that doesn't mean it's evil."
EVIL: A Growth Industry"
"I prepared Explosive Runes today"
"I fought in Azure City and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"

That's all for now. I'm not very DnDish.

2007-08-21, 11:35 PM
It's not old school, but I just came up with
"If you can read this, you made your spot check."

2007-08-22, 12:07 AM
"If I were a bard, your clothes would be off"

"+10 saving throw vs girls :( "

"Front: My girlfriend knows the difference between spot and search
Back: Guess you might as well go gay"

That last one is an old inside joke from my old ex girlfriend, where I would exclaim how she was better than other girls and then proclaim that due to the lack of girls who can match her, those present might as well engage in homosexual relationships. Kind of not that funny except to me.

2007-08-22, 01:39 AM
Okay, I know it's kinda old but noone else has brought it up, sooo...
F: Rogues do it from behind
B (I suppose): Or with someone on the other side.

Swedish chef
2007-08-22, 04:32 AM
Or you could go with a little more "Samuel L Jackson" comment on the T-Shirt. For example:
Front: ROLEPLAYING *insert swear here if you wish*!

2007-08-22, 04:34 AM
Okay, I know it's kinda old but noone else has brought it up, sooo...
F: Rogues do it from behind
B (I suppose): Or with someone on the other side.

This is just the right level of clever, crude nerdery imo. Well done :smallcool:

2007-08-22, 06:26 AM
My uncle has a great t-shirt that says "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." I laugh every time I see him in it. (He's the one who introduced me to D&D)

I'm sure I've heard that one somewhere before... Pratchett? Simon The Sorcerer?

2007-08-22, 06:42 AM
Front: I wanna cast a magic missile at the darkness
Back: so bend over!

OK... may be a bit too... :smallbiggrin:


I once was a high-level psionisist
now my DM has a mental breakdown

2007-08-22, 06:47 AM
This is just the right level of clever, crude nerdery imo. Well done :smallcool:
Alas, much as I desire 'twere otherwise, I cannot in good concience claim it as mine own. The first bit's on an existing t-shirt, and the bf read the second part on a forum somewhere. I thought it was a well-known one...

Green Bean
2007-08-22, 06:55 AM
For the Cleric of war:

Do unto others.

2007-08-23, 01:05 PM
The one I tried to make for Gen Con but screwed up on so I didn't:
Trog: Offical scent provider for gaming conventions everywhere!

My d10 goes up to 11

2007-08-23, 07:28 PM

I just realized that it's the end of the week, and I don't think Andre has chosen a winner for this yet. I'm quite cetain that he hasn't gotten a shirt made (because he hasn't).

So...I'll have to go light a fire somewhere...uncomfortable...and get him to at least make a decision on this, but I don't know when he'll actually go make the shirt.


I've got to say though...many of these are great!! :smallbiggrin:

EDIT: Andre has asked all of you to vote for your top THREE that are in the thread at this point!

2007-08-23, 08:05 PM
I submit these additions.

"THAC0. Why is simple addition and subtraction so difficult?"
"Spot Check: DC 20"

Well, my 3 votes go to...

Rouges do it from behind
Bards do it orally
If you can read this, you just made your spot check.

Mr. Moon
2007-08-23, 08:13 PM
"Ask me about my really big sword"
"Screw the rules, my die are weighted."
"Life's a die, and then you bitch."

Also, is it to late to make an addition? "When in doubt, hire the first adventurer you see to kill it for you." Some NPC logic. Where would first level characters be without it?

2007-08-23, 10:52 PM
"You couldn't [VERB] your way out of [LOCATION]" - as is

"+1 Glamered Breast Plate... Honest"
Okay, so it's mine, and unoriginal, but... <.<

F: Rogues do it from behind
B (I suppose): Or with someone on the other side.

2007-08-23, 11:15 PM
"Explosive Runes"
"Are you a druid, because you just cast Animate Plants on my wood."
"Yes, I have a subtype. No, you can't see it."
"Whaddaya mean I have to be fifth level before I can take you as my mount?!"
"Monks do it barehanded."

2007-08-24, 01:37 AM
"You couldn't [VERB] your way out of [LOCATION]" - as is
Actually, that is much funnier as is.

2007-08-24, 02:34 AM
Actually, that is much funnier as is.
Tolja :smallwink: :smalltongue:

Andre Fairchilde
2007-08-24, 06:26 PM

Annnnd the winner is:
"Rogues Do It From Behind"

But, there will be more meets, and more shirts.

#2 runner up was
"My D10 goes to 11"

So close!

2007-08-27, 10:20 AM
This qualifies more as Cthulhu than D&D, but:
"San checks please!"