Need help to create a Halfling's "tallfolk conspiracy theory"

[SpamCreateWater]

I am playing a Halfling with the Hermit's Discovery feature in an upcoming game. My character has never really had any marbles to lose, so I'd like the "discovery" to actually be either: a conspiracy theory regarding the tallfolk; or something that is common knowledge for Humans, but may not be for Halflings.
This discovery will, ideally, be given to another short person later in the campaign that shares the sub-par mental faculties of my character. Hopefully we can start an uprising and revolt against Big People.

Does anyone have any ideas?

[Waterdeep Merch]

Tall people are the result of greedy, violent gods that decided to twist the halfling's perfect form into a lumbering horror that require more sustenance than is necessary and are predisposed to violence. You don't hear much about halfling nations going to war, do you?

[SpamCreateWater]

Tall people are the result of greedy, violent gods that decided to twist the halfling's perfect form into a lumbering horror that require more sustenance than is necessary and are predisposed to violence. You don't hear much about halfling nations going to war, do you?

Building on that... halflings, and other small creatures, are the original inhabitants of the world. The gods created the "lumbering horrors" and that is the REAL reason Ao punished the gods and sent them to walk amongst the tall folk during the Time of Troubles - the gods had to take on these horrific visages and were forced to deal with their violent natures. They were forbidden to walk amongst the halflings, which is why all the stories are about gods in human-, elf-, orc-centric places.

[Pex]

All humans were once halflings, but when they gave into their fear they lost their innocence and grew up, literally. Human children are really kidnapped (pun intended) halflings made to forget their origin.

[Astofel]

Humans are not born, they are made. The creation of a human is a dark ritual that involves the sacrificing of two adult halflings, and wrapping the bodies in a strange garment known as a trenchcoat. The perpetrator of this dread ritual? Why, none other than those dastardly gnomes! They've been the halfing's rival in smallness for as long as there have been small humanoids.

[SpamCreateWater]

All humans were once halflings, but when they gave into their fear they lost their innocence and grew up, literally. Human children are really kidnapped (pun intended) halflings made to forget their origin.

Heh. Because the mindwiped halflings have forgotten their origin, they don't remember to not sweat the small stuff. Now that they sweat the small stuff, they gradually become larger as their small stuff reservoir disappears.


Humans are not born, they are made. The creation of a human is a dark ritual that involves the sacrificing of two adult halflings, and wrapping the bodies in a strange garment known as a trenchcoat. The perpetrator of this dread ritual? Why, none other than those dastardly gnomes! They've been the halfing's rival in smallness for as long as there have been small humanoids.

So any and all trenchcoat humans should actually be killed out of mercy?

[SharkForce]

the funny thing is that some of these are not that far off of the actual truth...

for Dark Sun :P

[Cespenar]

Halflings were the original, but then some weird halflings tried to reach the fruits in the higher branches, which ended up in the elongated humans.

But now we have farming and civilization, so there isn't really any place for humans.

[Klorox]

LMAO, these are great!!

[Aett_Thorn]

I think that it might be best to layer this upon something that's actually pretty true in the real world, and just kind of translate it over to one where there are multiple intelligent species that might not have the same features. For instance:

1) If a human bites you, you'll develop an infection so severe that you might have to lose the limb it bit you on, or you could even die! (Basically, humans are werewolves-light)

2) Humans are so deranged that they will often pierce their own skins just so that they can display ornamentation in the holes. They also often place inks UNDER their skin as a way of marking themselves.

3) Breaking a human's bones won't necessarily stop it. In fact, humans can often walk on broken limbs for days until they get help.

4) Humans are the greatest endurance hunters in the world. Like, you might be able to sprint away from them, but they'll just...keep...coming.


Or you could have it be wildly outlandish and weird. Like the character believes that there are actually two sub-races of humans, like there are for most other major species like elves and dwarves. The ones that live out in the country and are mostly farmers are the "good" subrace. The ones that live in the cities, and are mainly okay being surrounded by lawless individuals are the "evil" kind. And the worst part is that you can't really tell them apart! Like, the bad elves are black. The bad dwarves are pale and bald. But the bad humans? Look just like the good ones. EXCEPT...(insert ridiculous theory here, like the ones with brown hair and hazel eyes are obviously from the cities, so that the halfling will look carefully and intently at the eyes of any brown-haired human just to be sure).

[Spiritchaser]

“Humanity” is caused by a somewhat contagious virus.

If a halfling contracts this disease they will be wracked by terrible pain, ache and suffer as their tormented limbs grow and lengthen... they will become jealous and covetous... and...

TALL!

[Trum4n1208]

The Tallfolk are spraying Halflings from the air with potions/chemtrails that are trailed behind flying carpets.

[Fayd]

Could go the other way. Halflings are refugees from another world. It’s whats it is in my setting.

[Nidgit]

Tallfolk are always fighting because they're always hungry. There's a massive conspiracy to take the halflings' teas and suppers and mid-morning snacks and such and force them into the fascism of a three-meal day. Resist, brothers! Fight for your stomachs!