Renduaz
2017-11-24, 10:09 PM
Xanathar's Guide to Munchkinry
So, I've heard you guys ( some of you guys ) wanted to break, or test Xanathar's. Being proficient in that field, I hope I'm not too late to the party. In another thread I promised that when I'm done examining the book, Mystra herself will be sobbing in the corner at the defilement of magic that has befallen the universe, so without further delay, let's see what I've managed to cook up so far. Although primarily focused on spells ( Since they hold the utmost potential ) while everyone is focused on builds and class features, I'll dedicate the first few sections to a few class features, rules and even items that I've found particularly overpowered or conductive towards the Art of Munchkinry.
If this were an ordinary overview, you can think of them as things that I'd classify as "golden" in their capacity. They may or may not be combos or tricks ( Which mostly compromises the Spell section ), a couple might be commentary.
Classes & Features
Sir Lancealot and Merlin
I've seen a lot of people disappointed with the Cavalier, and personally I've tried to make a 18 Cavalier/2 Other build which will enable me to freely, or as a bonus action, force another creature to move, which would make for a pretty OP build with Hold the Line and Vigilant Defender, however I've yet to find what I seek. I have come close. So far my best optimization is a Cavalier 18/Cleric 2 with Sentinel, Defense and Dueling Fighting Style ( Halberd ) with Mounted Combatant as well, along with Great Weapon Master.
Mounted Combatant will allow to deflect attacks to you, at least. A Cleric's "Sanctuary" as a bonus action will protect the horse from spells somewhat ( As long as it doesn't attack or cast a spell ). The mount can then always disengage and move us to another target we wish to punish for moving.
However, what works most potently of all, possibly even brokenly, is the Cavalier and the Summoner in tandem ( Lancelot and Merlin ). The Cavalier can use his special AOO reaction on each creature's turn. Take even the lowest level spell, such as Conjure Animals, which can summon up to 8 beasts of CR 1/4 or lower. For the record, A Draft Horse ( STR 18 ) is a 1/4 beast. Have Merlin issue a verbal command to each and every horse on the turn order to take the "Shove" action against a target within 10 feet of Lancelot, pushing them 5 feet in any direction on a success, which triggers the special AOO from Hold the Line and Vigilant Defender, up to 8 times if successful.
That's a lot of damage. Combine that with more crazy summoning techniques, GWM, maybe sacrificing your Horse protection for 2 levels in Paladin and Divine Favor ( +1d4 radiant to each attack ), enchanted weapons, ability check disadvantages and reductions on the "marked" target, god knows what else from all the various things that can bolster your attacks from the party and world, and you reach insane levels of potential damage which repeats itself every single round until your enemies waste their actions to kill all the spread out summoned creatures, and then the summoner might as well simply pile on another low-level summon right anew.
The problems so far is that your mount is very vulnerable to AOE, and also has low HP, at least until you can find and train a better mount.
Umbral Form
Holy **** is this underrated by most people out there. Forget the resistance, you don't need it. You can pretty much just completely disappear from all targeting into absolutely any matter, popping in and back out at will while taking only a measly 5 points of force damage for ending your turn in an object. You can do it 3 times ( Or more if converting spell slots to sorcery points ) lasting 1 minute each which should suffice for almost 3 fights, and with all the speed buffs you can get as a caster, difficult terrain doesn't mean anything.
You can pretty much solo Tiamat by merely attacking her then vanishing way down under in the stone ( BTW truesight can't even find you since physical matter blocks sight to you, only X-ray vision would ) after attacking, and you aren't even concentrating or using a bonus action each time or anything, just movement after the initial trasnformation. Just completely wreck her for up to 30 rounds straight, albeit she'd probably go "Piece of ****" after the 5th time or so and turn tail from your sheer awesomeness.
I saw people complaining that the 9th level Invulnerability isn't good ( I think they're wrong and it's great in hardcore encounters ) because save-or-suck and so on and so forth, Umbral Form is basically Invulnerability but against everything and without wasting spells or concentration at all.
Reactionless Identification
I've seen a lot of bitching about the need to expend a reaction in order to identify a spell as it is being cast which excludes Counterspell. Never fear, this is what I am here for. Don't use your own reaction, silly!
A Chain Warlock's familiar, any long-lasting summoned intelligent pet ( Such as the Homunculus, as referred to in context of this section below ) and so on, buffed up a bit if you wish can use their reaction to try and identify a spell being cast, communicate it to you telepathically ( At will ) or verbally in range as an interaction, and then you can decide if to Counterspell it should they succeed in the identification. Alternatively if you want something more potent, you might use long-term Planar Binding on some intelligent creature, or maybe just pay some librarian schmuck or Wizard somewhere to cooperate with you, and cast Telepathy ( 24 hours ) between yourselves, which also allows the instantaneous sharing of images, sounds and other sensory effects. When seeing a spell being cast, relay telepathically back to base command, and immediately receive the information for your query.
Items
Most of the common items listed are indeed, as WOTC intended, limited to flavor, but two of those stood out to me from all the rest.
Horn of Silent Alarm
It's a horn blare with 600 feet range that you can make audible to any creature ( doesn't have to be willing ) and only that creature, and can be repeated a few times. This is more than just flavor actually, nor does it shine as a friendly alarm. What it does have potential for though, is distraction and luring. And unlike Sending, it has a discernible origin. A single mindless creature drawn to noises may split from his pack and follow the sound of the horn all the way to it's source. An intelligent creature will inquire others if they've just heard that loud ****ing horn ( Guards of all colors might believe they're under attack ) and be told that nobody can hear anything. After thinking they might be going insane or there's some sort of prank going on, do it the second time, third time, etc.. and they might just decide to go investigate what the hell is going on for themselves.
Unbreakable Arrow
The new Sovereign Glue. In fact, combine this with Sovereign Glue and you're in for some really enjoyable carnage of the laws of physics. Glue upright to the ground, this thing will pretty much pierce anything thrown down on it or stop it right on it's tracks. Need a wedge to lift a massive boulder? That tiny arrow will never break no matter how much pressure is applied on the other side. This thing is supposed to be "common"? Make an unbreakable chain by attaching arrows to each other with sovereign glue. And so on and so forth.
Spells
Alright then, the emperor of all brokenness, the arcane mastery which puts all classes to shame, my favorite area of expertise. This shall be glorious. Mystra, read this section and weep at your decisions.
Until Death Doesn't Do Us Apart (Ceremony)
Is romance dead? You better hope so, because if it is to you, then you just received +2 AC free of charge on behalf of Ceremony's wedding. So many methods to choose from, dear me. Let's try to introduce some order here.
1. Choose a party member to be married to regularly, and at the end of 7 days, have them killed, revivify'd, yourself killed, and revivify'd. Both widowed, free to marry again, congratulations to the happy couple. "Reincarnate" instead will even make you a completely different humanoid creature.
2. "And Mr.Mad Wizard, do you hereby vow to forever cherish.... ", a few eyebrows are raised in the audience, the cleric shakes his head in disbelief... "yourself"?, an eeringly perfectly concerted "YES, MUHAHA, MUHAHAHA!" with a trailing raving laugh echoes through the hall much to everyone's nervousness. You are now married to your own Simulacrum ( Same game statistics, including creature type as you except for half hp ), a ceremony which repeats itself whenever it melts into snow and you create a brand new one.
3. Are you a fan of pure evil, and slightly less a fan of consent? Technically, willingness out of fear and threat is entirely valid ( In fact won't be surprising if this is how it works among humanoid Orcs, Goblins or Orcs sometimes ), and all you have to do is threaten to torture your beloved one ( Beloved for his AC bonus ) for all eternity unless he agrees to marry you, perform the rite and then stuff him in some caged contraption on your backback or something, or even inside a Bag of Holding if you have a means of making it not suffocate ( Sequester, etc.. ). At max level, Minimus Containment while your significant other decorates your circlet or robe also works nicely. Then you actually go Black Widow on them after 7 days and find a new bride or groom.
4. Speaking of a Simulacrum and other minions, did I mention he can also undergo "Dedication" at least once before melting and then the new copy can undergo it again?
Monstrous Homunculus (Create Homunculus)
As demonstrated when it comes to Identifying spells, more summoned creatures to serve you are never a useless thing. What may seem weak, becomes strong when you realize they can use a variety of items, break action economies, do things other than attack, and so on and so forth, and when you get the opportunity to get a free minion for a permanent duration with no strings attached whatsoever, it's an opportunity that should never be passed up. Which is what Create Homunculus does.
It also has a little feature, which allows you to increase it's max hp by sacrificing your own at the end of a Long Rest. As say, a level 20 Wizard, that's up to half your hit dice ( 10 ), of 1d6 ( Average of 3 ), plus your con mod which should honestly be prioritized so let's say 4, and that's about a 70 max hp raise to the minion ( as well as to his current hp ), and deduction from yours. Sounds pretty bad, but that is where we come in. There are two methods to reap all of the rewards without the downside, the first might be contested ( Although by RAW, it should't be ) and the second should be pretty much obvious.
1. What if, you were to cast "Create Homunculus", leave it as it is for the time being, then permanently ( until dispelled ) True Polymorph yourself into an Ancient White Dragon, take a long rest and expend what are now half your hit dice to increase the max and current hp of your Homunculus, and then have someone/pre-rigged action dispel the True Polymorph on yourself and revert back to your original self? There is a way to look at it which breaks the RAW of both spells ( And also doesn't work like that in other spells and effects ) - That the same reduction in max HP from the Ancient White Dragon is applied to your max HP as whichever race-creature you are when dispelled which means that your max hp is now potentially at negative value ( And breaks the RAW of Create Homunculus that you can't reduce you max HP below 1 ) and also breaks True Polymorph's statement that when reverting, it's back to the HP you had prior to transforming ( Which can't happen if you have like -100 max HP ). In short it's a total mess.
The second explanation is that much like when it comes to current hp, which doesn't simultaneously count against both your dragon form and original form ( So that if you had 90 hp, the dragon took 90 damage, and the spell was dispelled, you suddenly drop dead as your original hp also takes 90 damage ), but rather soaks it up with it's own statistics until the spell is dropped, then likewise what applies to the dragon's statistics ( max hp ) that you assume does not carry over to your original form. Which opens up the possibility to grant your Homunculus a staggering amount of Max and current HP from the Ancient White Dragon's pool while completely reserving your own.
2. A second method to accomplish the same thing is to find a humanoid with as much HP as possible ( Barbarian, Orc War Chief in a pinch, etc.. ) that can be subdued, Create the Homunculus, cast Magic Jar to possess and control him while the soul gets trapped in the jar ( You retain you class features ), take a Long Rest and drain his own HP to empower your Homunculus, then switch back into your own vessel which was previously just an empty catatonic husk. You may kill your prisoner. Funnily enough, you can't actually pull off the same trick again on the same humanoid, you need to find new humanoids. If the Homunculus dies, his max HP isn't restored. It's never restored. Once you dispossessed him as a creature ( with your soul ), he's no longer you. Nothing happens when the minion dies, since they aren't linked, it's linked to you. But next time your take a long rest, it will only revert the changes to the Homunculus, your HP remains the same ( Since there was no change, you drained someone else ), and that guy's HP remains lowered. So you have to find new targets.
Remote-Controlled Dragon (Illusory Dragon)
This is pretty simple, it relies on the fact that once a concentration spell is cast, your concentration on it is independent of distance, even planar distance, and line of sight both, as clarified by Crawford (https://www.sageadvice.eu/2015/06/05/losing-line-of-sight/) and Mearls (https://www.sageadvice.eu/2016/04/24/do-i-lose-the-concentration-when-applying-the-blink-effect/)
If you are in open view of a target ( For example attacking some castle or city or outdoors camp ), just sneak around, invisible or otherwise, etc.. close enough to it, cast your Illusory Dragon, then just completely teleport away as far as possible while still being able to view that point before anyone even realizes what's going on, and command your dragon to move or attack while hidden very, very far away. You don't even need the line of sight for the concentration and associated commands, it's just so you know where you're aiming your cone or where you've just ordered the dragon to move to.
Hence why a more advanced form of this is, with a Simulacrum or party member, create the dragon ( Even in indoors locations, underground, wherever ) and have the other member cast "Scrying" on that location, while you're linked by "Telepathy" for quick information processing. He now sees what transpires in the dragon's location, instantaneously relays the visuals to you and you control the dragon's movement and breath attacks in that location.
May not sound like much at first glance, but what's happening is that every single target in that place is now being whaled upon by an utterly invincible illusion which can also chase them down and it hardly even matters if they know it's an illusion. During 10 rounds, that's 60 feet of AOE damage of your chosen type which stacks up to 70d6 damage before you even deign to once again set foot there yourself. Because what kind of Wizard are you if you let your enemies have at you straight away instead of making them defeat your peons first? In this case, an invincible illusory dragon peon.
Infernal Humiliation (Infernal Calling)
Not precisely a trick and a combination which is pretty much an official example, but holy ****, what a gigantic waste of time that entire spell description is. Want a Devil pet? It's 1 minute casting time so presumably you shouldn't be in combat, just do yourself a favor, draw an inverted Magic Circle on the ground, summon the devil into it and then use Planar Binding on it. Same goes for summoning demons.
Life Transference Note
There's already a thread dedicated to exploiting it (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?542500-Let-s-abuse-Life-Transference), so I won't really focus on it as a contribution.
Mental Retardation (Mental Prison)
Commentary in this case. It's like Forcecage in the form of a cage ( Which you can shoot arrows, spells, etc.. and stuff through the gaps ), except worse, with a saving throw and probably ends up just inflicting 10d10 psychic damage when the target tries reaching through. What an amazing waste, nobody should ever pick this.
Sickening Entrapment (Sickening Radiance)
Culminating levels of exhaustion until the spell ends ( 10 minutes, so basically never in combat and if you maintain concentration, which as discussed can even be done remotely ). My first thought is to trap someone in a Forcecage with the cage shape ( There are gaps between the bars ), and since it spreads around corners and also would penetrate into the cage's inner space even without, is going to inflict a new level of exhaustion on the target each time it fails a CON save, with disadvantage since the third, getting totally ****ed by the 4th, speed reduced to 0 by 5th and of course eventual death.
Really this should be combined with every other ability and spell in existence which traps a target in place or reduces their speed to 0. Enough failed saves and they're irrevocably ****ed. Viable at lower levels too.
Battle Temple (Temple of the Gods)
This is fantastic. So much better than Mighty Fortress that I was grappling with how to break, almost all of the downsides are gone. First of all the confusing "Must not be on other buildings and structures" ( Is a stone pavement a structure? ) is gone in favor of just putting it on unoccupied space. Unlike the mighty fortress, the exterior can't be physically breached by any means, not even through the ethereal plane, it can't be dispelled by absolutely anything, and only a Disintegrate can destroy it. And the door can only be opened or closed by you, you can even elect for there to be windows, you can make it as large or as big as you like ( up to 120 feet ) and choose any appearance, unlike the fortress which comes with predefined measurements, thereby making this spell completely superior and much, much less situational. Presumably the only way an undesirable can enter is through teleportation or if you left the door open, and then it encounters the temple's defenses if it succeeded, but we'll address that soon.
What do I mean by less situational about spells that take an hour to cast? As with all things, spells which aren't meant for the Wizard are always improved significantly by the Wizard, and in this case I am referring to Wish. Immediately create an essentially invincible fortress ( Except to disintegrate ) in the middle of the battlefield, which even if you're in more crammed quarters, can be as small as you'd like or just small enough to fit your party, enter, then emerge outside to attack whenever you want and use your movement to return and close the door behind if an enemy's turn is upcoming. You could add tiny arrow nook windows, sure, but I wouldn't really advise it.
Throw in a Simulacrum ( as always ) to the mix who Wishes for Mordekainen's Private Sanctum over the area, and now it can't be breached whatsoever.
If you spare an hour ( Or not, if it's important enough to waste the Wish ) you can also pretty much annoy any city or enemy hub you encounter by placing it directly inside the space of their Main Gate/Main tunnel. Until they can find someone to Disintegrate it, it isn't going anywhere since it's indestructible and nobody can even open the door.
Tenser's Bladesinger (Tenser's Transformation)
2d12 extra force damage on each weapon attack? Surely you must know which subclass to go along with this. Take the Dual Wielder Feat ( which is good anyway ) for a bonus action attack, dip 2 levels into Fighter just for Action Surge, and combined with the Song of Victory, and you're in for some pretty major damage for a 6th level spell.
With two Rapiers ( 1d8, Finesse ) +5 dex mod and +5 damage each from Song of Victory, plus the 2d12 on each attack, that's an average of 60 damage, plus anything from your weapon if it's magical. Not so bad at the mid-levels.
Tiny Swarm ( Tiny Servant)
What do you mean even more concentration free minions, which I can also have multiple of? Is this Christmas? Create as many of those as possible in succession with your low-level slots. Or if you're an Elf and can gain a Long Rest in only 4 hours through Trance, even expend every slot you have for maybe a dozen while everyone else is sleeping, ( Should only take 12 minutes ), then resume your sleep and wake up refreshed with the minions still viable for 4 hours. An Elven Wizard could have 83 of those up and running independently along with any other minions he has. Using them merely to attack ( can all be commanded with a single bonus action ), that's an average of 415 damage at the flick of a finger. You haven't even used your freaking action.
Exchange one of those 8th level slots for a Simulacrum and make him do the same and you're up to like 800 damage. And they all have +5 to hit which is good and you can bolster it with auras and the like even more. And they all take that attack simultaneously on your very first turn in combat, and even divided between different enemies.
By Elminster's beard, this is the most broken spell to date.
So, I've heard you guys ( some of you guys ) wanted to break, or test Xanathar's. Being proficient in that field, I hope I'm not too late to the party. In another thread I promised that when I'm done examining the book, Mystra herself will be sobbing in the corner at the defilement of magic that has befallen the universe, so without further delay, let's see what I've managed to cook up so far. Although primarily focused on spells ( Since they hold the utmost potential ) while everyone is focused on builds and class features, I'll dedicate the first few sections to a few class features, rules and even items that I've found particularly overpowered or conductive towards the Art of Munchkinry.
If this were an ordinary overview, you can think of them as things that I'd classify as "golden" in their capacity. They may or may not be combos or tricks ( Which mostly compromises the Spell section ), a couple might be commentary.
Classes & Features
Sir Lancealot and Merlin
I've seen a lot of people disappointed with the Cavalier, and personally I've tried to make a 18 Cavalier/2 Other build which will enable me to freely, or as a bonus action, force another creature to move, which would make for a pretty OP build with Hold the Line and Vigilant Defender, however I've yet to find what I seek. I have come close. So far my best optimization is a Cavalier 18/Cleric 2 with Sentinel, Defense and Dueling Fighting Style ( Halberd ) with Mounted Combatant as well, along with Great Weapon Master.
Mounted Combatant will allow to deflect attacks to you, at least. A Cleric's "Sanctuary" as a bonus action will protect the horse from spells somewhat ( As long as it doesn't attack or cast a spell ). The mount can then always disengage and move us to another target we wish to punish for moving.
However, what works most potently of all, possibly even brokenly, is the Cavalier and the Summoner in tandem ( Lancelot and Merlin ). The Cavalier can use his special AOO reaction on each creature's turn. Take even the lowest level spell, such as Conjure Animals, which can summon up to 8 beasts of CR 1/4 or lower. For the record, A Draft Horse ( STR 18 ) is a 1/4 beast. Have Merlin issue a verbal command to each and every horse on the turn order to take the "Shove" action against a target within 10 feet of Lancelot, pushing them 5 feet in any direction on a success, which triggers the special AOO from Hold the Line and Vigilant Defender, up to 8 times if successful.
That's a lot of damage. Combine that with more crazy summoning techniques, GWM, maybe sacrificing your Horse protection for 2 levels in Paladin and Divine Favor ( +1d4 radiant to each attack ), enchanted weapons, ability check disadvantages and reductions on the "marked" target, god knows what else from all the various things that can bolster your attacks from the party and world, and you reach insane levels of potential damage which repeats itself every single round until your enemies waste their actions to kill all the spread out summoned creatures, and then the summoner might as well simply pile on another low-level summon right anew.
The problems so far is that your mount is very vulnerable to AOE, and also has low HP, at least until you can find and train a better mount.
Umbral Form
Holy **** is this underrated by most people out there. Forget the resistance, you don't need it. You can pretty much just completely disappear from all targeting into absolutely any matter, popping in and back out at will while taking only a measly 5 points of force damage for ending your turn in an object. You can do it 3 times ( Or more if converting spell slots to sorcery points ) lasting 1 minute each which should suffice for almost 3 fights, and with all the speed buffs you can get as a caster, difficult terrain doesn't mean anything.
You can pretty much solo Tiamat by merely attacking her then vanishing way down under in the stone ( BTW truesight can't even find you since physical matter blocks sight to you, only X-ray vision would ) after attacking, and you aren't even concentrating or using a bonus action each time or anything, just movement after the initial trasnformation. Just completely wreck her for up to 30 rounds straight, albeit she'd probably go "Piece of ****" after the 5th time or so and turn tail from your sheer awesomeness.
I saw people complaining that the 9th level Invulnerability isn't good ( I think they're wrong and it's great in hardcore encounters ) because save-or-suck and so on and so forth, Umbral Form is basically Invulnerability but against everything and without wasting spells or concentration at all.
Reactionless Identification
I've seen a lot of bitching about the need to expend a reaction in order to identify a spell as it is being cast which excludes Counterspell. Never fear, this is what I am here for. Don't use your own reaction, silly!
A Chain Warlock's familiar, any long-lasting summoned intelligent pet ( Such as the Homunculus, as referred to in context of this section below ) and so on, buffed up a bit if you wish can use their reaction to try and identify a spell being cast, communicate it to you telepathically ( At will ) or verbally in range as an interaction, and then you can decide if to Counterspell it should they succeed in the identification. Alternatively if you want something more potent, you might use long-term Planar Binding on some intelligent creature, or maybe just pay some librarian schmuck or Wizard somewhere to cooperate with you, and cast Telepathy ( 24 hours ) between yourselves, which also allows the instantaneous sharing of images, sounds and other sensory effects. When seeing a spell being cast, relay telepathically back to base command, and immediately receive the information for your query.
Items
Most of the common items listed are indeed, as WOTC intended, limited to flavor, but two of those stood out to me from all the rest.
Horn of Silent Alarm
It's a horn blare with 600 feet range that you can make audible to any creature ( doesn't have to be willing ) and only that creature, and can be repeated a few times. This is more than just flavor actually, nor does it shine as a friendly alarm. What it does have potential for though, is distraction and luring. And unlike Sending, it has a discernible origin. A single mindless creature drawn to noises may split from his pack and follow the sound of the horn all the way to it's source. An intelligent creature will inquire others if they've just heard that loud ****ing horn ( Guards of all colors might believe they're under attack ) and be told that nobody can hear anything. After thinking they might be going insane or there's some sort of prank going on, do it the second time, third time, etc.. and they might just decide to go investigate what the hell is going on for themselves.
Unbreakable Arrow
The new Sovereign Glue. In fact, combine this with Sovereign Glue and you're in for some really enjoyable carnage of the laws of physics. Glue upright to the ground, this thing will pretty much pierce anything thrown down on it or stop it right on it's tracks. Need a wedge to lift a massive boulder? That tiny arrow will never break no matter how much pressure is applied on the other side. This thing is supposed to be "common"? Make an unbreakable chain by attaching arrows to each other with sovereign glue. And so on and so forth.
Spells
Alright then, the emperor of all brokenness, the arcane mastery which puts all classes to shame, my favorite area of expertise. This shall be glorious. Mystra, read this section and weep at your decisions.
Until Death Doesn't Do Us Apart (Ceremony)
Is romance dead? You better hope so, because if it is to you, then you just received +2 AC free of charge on behalf of Ceremony's wedding. So many methods to choose from, dear me. Let's try to introduce some order here.
1. Choose a party member to be married to regularly, and at the end of 7 days, have them killed, revivify'd, yourself killed, and revivify'd. Both widowed, free to marry again, congratulations to the happy couple. "Reincarnate" instead will even make you a completely different humanoid creature.
2. "And Mr.Mad Wizard, do you hereby vow to forever cherish.... ", a few eyebrows are raised in the audience, the cleric shakes his head in disbelief... "yourself"?, an eeringly perfectly concerted "YES, MUHAHA, MUHAHAHA!" with a trailing raving laugh echoes through the hall much to everyone's nervousness. You are now married to your own Simulacrum ( Same game statistics, including creature type as you except for half hp ), a ceremony which repeats itself whenever it melts into snow and you create a brand new one.
3. Are you a fan of pure evil, and slightly less a fan of consent? Technically, willingness out of fear and threat is entirely valid ( In fact won't be surprising if this is how it works among humanoid Orcs, Goblins or Orcs sometimes ), and all you have to do is threaten to torture your beloved one ( Beloved for his AC bonus ) for all eternity unless he agrees to marry you, perform the rite and then stuff him in some caged contraption on your backback or something, or even inside a Bag of Holding if you have a means of making it not suffocate ( Sequester, etc.. ). At max level, Minimus Containment while your significant other decorates your circlet or robe also works nicely. Then you actually go Black Widow on them after 7 days and find a new bride or groom.
4. Speaking of a Simulacrum and other minions, did I mention he can also undergo "Dedication" at least once before melting and then the new copy can undergo it again?
Monstrous Homunculus (Create Homunculus)
As demonstrated when it comes to Identifying spells, more summoned creatures to serve you are never a useless thing. What may seem weak, becomes strong when you realize they can use a variety of items, break action economies, do things other than attack, and so on and so forth, and when you get the opportunity to get a free minion for a permanent duration with no strings attached whatsoever, it's an opportunity that should never be passed up. Which is what Create Homunculus does.
It also has a little feature, which allows you to increase it's max hp by sacrificing your own at the end of a Long Rest. As say, a level 20 Wizard, that's up to half your hit dice ( 10 ), of 1d6 ( Average of 3 ), plus your con mod which should honestly be prioritized so let's say 4, and that's about a 70 max hp raise to the minion ( as well as to his current hp ), and deduction from yours. Sounds pretty bad, but that is where we come in. There are two methods to reap all of the rewards without the downside, the first might be contested ( Although by RAW, it should't be ) and the second should be pretty much obvious.
1. What if, you were to cast "Create Homunculus", leave it as it is for the time being, then permanently ( until dispelled ) True Polymorph yourself into an Ancient White Dragon, take a long rest and expend what are now half your hit dice to increase the max and current hp of your Homunculus, and then have someone/pre-rigged action dispel the True Polymorph on yourself and revert back to your original self? There is a way to look at it which breaks the RAW of both spells ( And also doesn't work like that in other spells and effects ) - That the same reduction in max HP from the Ancient White Dragon is applied to your max HP as whichever race-creature you are when dispelled which means that your max hp is now potentially at negative value ( And breaks the RAW of Create Homunculus that you can't reduce you max HP below 1 ) and also breaks True Polymorph's statement that when reverting, it's back to the HP you had prior to transforming ( Which can't happen if you have like -100 max HP ). In short it's a total mess.
The second explanation is that much like when it comes to current hp, which doesn't simultaneously count against both your dragon form and original form ( So that if you had 90 hp, the dragon took 90 damage, and the spell was dispelled, you suddenly drop dead as your original hp also takes 90 damage ), but rather soaks it up with it's own statistics until the spell is dropped, then likewise what applies to the dragon's statistics ( max hp ) that you assume does not carry over to your original form. Which opens up the possibility to grant your Homunculus a staggering amount of Max and current HP from the Ancient White Dragon's pool while completely reserving your own.
2. A second method to accomplish the same thing is to find a humanoid with as much HP as possible ( Barbarian, Orc War Chief in a pinch, etc.. ) that can be subdued, Create the Homunculus, cast Magic Jar to possess and control him while the soul gets trapped in the jar ( You retain you class features ), take a Long Rest and drain his own HP to empower your Homunculus, then switch back into your own vessel which was previously just an empty catatonic husk. You may kill your prisoner. Funnily enough, you can't actually pull off the same trick again on the same humanoid, you need to find new humanoids. If the Homunculus dies, his max HP isn't restored. It's never restored. Once you dispossessed him as a creature ( with your soul ), he's no longer you. Nothing happens when the minion dies, since they aren't linked, it's linked to you. But next time your take a long rest, it will only revert the changes to the Homunculus, your HP remains the same ( Since there was no change, you drained someone else ), and that guy's HP remains lowered. So you have to find new targets.
Remote-Controlled Dragon (Illusory Dragon)
This is pretty simple, it relies on the fact that once a concentration spell is cast, your concentration on it is independent of distance, even planar distance, and line of sight both, as clarified by Crawford (https://www.sageadvice.eu/2015/06/05/losing-line-of-sight/) and Mearls (https://www.sageadvice.eu/2016/04/24/do-i-lose-the-concentration-when-applying-the-blink-effect/)
If you are in open view of a target ( For example attacking some castle or city or outdoors camp ), just sneak around, invisible or otherwise, etc.. close enough to it, cast your Illusory Dragon, then just completely teleport away as far as possible while still being able to view that point before anyone even realizes what's going on, and command your dragon to move or attack while hidden very, very far away. You don't even need the line of sight for the concentration and associated commands, it's just so you know where you're aiming your cone or where you've just ordered the dragon to move to.
Hence why a more advanced form of this is, with a Simulacrum or party member, create the dragon ( Even in indoors locations, underground, wherever ) and have the other member cast "Scrying" on that location, while you're linked by "Telepathy" for quick information processing. He now sees what transpires in the dragon's location, instantaneously relays the visuals to you and you control the dragon's movement and breath attacks in that location.
May not sound like much at first glance, but what's happening is that every single target in that place is now being whaled upon by an utterly invincible illusion which can also chase them down and it hardly even matters if they know it's an illusion. During 10 rounds, that's 60 feet of AOE damage of your chosen type which stacks up to 70d6 damage before you even deign to once again set foot there yourself. Because what kind of Wizard are you if you let your enemies have at you straight away instead of making them defeat your peons first? In this case, an invincible illusory dragon peon.
Infernal Humiliation (Infernal Calling)
Not precisely a trick and a combination which is pretty much an official example, but holy ****, what a gigantic waste of time that entire spell description is. Want a Devil pet? It's 1 minute casting time so presumably you shouldn't be in combat, just do yourself a favor, draw an inverted Magic Circle on the ground, summon the devil into it and then use Planar Binding on it. Same goes for summoning demons.
Life Transference Note
There's already a thread dedicated to exploiting it (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?542500-Let-s-abuse-Life-Transference), so I won't really focus on it as a contribution.
Mental Retardation (Mental Prison)
Commentary in this case. It's like Forcecage in the form of a cage ( Which you can shoot arrows, spells, etc.. and stuff through the gaps ), except worse, with a saving throw and probably ends up just inflicting 10d10 psychic damage when the target tries reaching through. What an amazing waste, nobody should ever pick this.
Sickening Entrapment (Sickening Radiance)
Culminating levels of exhaustion until the spell ends ( 10 minutes, so basically never in combat and if you maintain concentration, which as discussed can even be done remotely ). My first thought is to trap someone in a Forcecage with the cage shape ( There are gaps between the bars ), and since it spreads around corners and also would penetrate into the cage's inner space even without, is going to inflict a new level of exhaustion on the target each time it fails a CON save, with disadvantage since the third, getting totally ****ed by the 4th, speed reduced to 0 by 5th and of course eventual death.
Really this should be combined with every other ability and spell in existence which traps a target in place or reduces their speed to 0. Enough failed saves and they're irrevocably ****ed. Viable at lower levels too.
Battle Temple (Temple of the Gods)
This is fantastic. So much better than Mighty Fortress that I was grappling with how to break, almost all of the downsides are gone. First of all the confusing "Must not be on other buildings and structures" ( Is a stone pavement a structure? ) is gone in favor of just putting it on unoccupied space. Unlike the mighty fortress, the exterior can't be physically breached by any means, not even through the ethereal plane, it can't be dispelled by absolutely anything, and only a Disintegrate can destroy it. And the door can only be opened or closed by you, you can even elect for there to be windows, you can make it as large or as big as you like ( up to 120 feet ) and choose any appearance, unlike the fortress which comes with predefined measurements, thereby making this spell completely superior and much, much less situational. Presumably the only way an undesirable can enter is through teleportation or if you left the door open, and then it encounters the temple's defenses if it succeeded, but we'll address that soon.
What do I mean by less situational about spells that take an hour to cast? As with all things, spells which aren't meant for the Wizard are always improved significantly by the Wizard, and in this case I am referring to Wish. Immediately create an essentially invincible fortress ( Except to disintegrate ) in the middle of the battlefield, which even if you're in more crammed quarters, can be as small as you'd like or just small enough to fit your party, enter, then emerge outside to attack whenever you want and use your movement to return and close the door behind if an enemy's turn is upcoming. You could add tiny arrow nook windows, sure, but I wouldn't really advise it.
Throw in a Simulacrum ( as always ) to the mix who Wishes for Mordekainen's Private Sanctum over the area, and now it can't be breached whatsoever.
If you spare an hour ( Or not, if it's important enough to waste the Wish ) you can also pretty much annoy any city or enemy hub you encounter by placing it directly inside the space of their Main Gate/Main tunnel. Until they can find someone to Disintegrate it, it isn't going anywhere since it's indestructible and nobody can even open the door.
Tenser's Bladesinger (Tenser's Transformation)
2d12 extra force damage on each weapon attack? Surely you must know which subclass to go along with this. Take the Dual Wielder Feat ( which is good anyway ) for a bonus action attack, dip 2 levels into Fighter just for Action Surge, and combined with the Song of Victory, and you're in for some pretty major damage for a 6th level spell.
With two Rapiers ( 1d8, Finesse ) +5 dex mod and +5 damage each from Song of Victory, plus the 2d12 on each attack, that's an average of 60 damage, plus anything from your weapon if it's magical. Not so bad at the mid-levels.
Tiny Swarm ( Tiny Servant)
What do you mean even more concentration free minions, which I can also have multiple of? Is this Christmas? Create as many of those as possible in succession with your low-level slots. Or if you're an Elf and can gain a Long Rest in only 4 hours through Trance, even expend every slot you have for maybe a dozen while everyone else is sleeping, ( Should only take 12 minutes ), then resume your sleep and wake up refreshed with the minions still viable for 4 hours. An Elven Wizard could have 83 of those up and running independently along with any other minions he has. Using them merely to attack ( can all be commanded with a single bonus action ), that's an average of 415 damage at the flick of a finger. You haven't even used your freaking action.
Exchange one of those 8th level slots for a Simulacrum and make him do the same and you're up to like 800 damage. And they all have +5 to hit which is good and you can bolster it with auras and the like even more. And they all take that attack simultaneously on your very first turn in combat, and even divided between different enemies.
By Elminster's beard, this is the most broken spell to date.