I've been trying to play 3.5 edition for almost 9 years...

[Chrysamere]

I originally wanted to make a new post in this thread, because the initial plan was to post a quick status update and then delete the thread after about 3 days to give anybody interested in my family drama (which I never should have polluted the forum with in the first place) time to give their 2 cents worth before removing it. But since I can't find a 'delete' button for anything but my own posts, I figured that (if my strikeout was any indication) editing this would help prevent the thread from pointlessly rising to the top again, while giving anybody subscribed to it the chance to read about what happened (if the subscribe system works that way idk).

The main reason why I made the thread was because I thought that the main thing contributing to the fact that we never got a chance to play my dad's idea of a 'family game night' (fyi, we tried this twice a year for nine years) was my dad himself being too much of a control freak DM to actually let anybody make the characters that they wanted, resulting in a session 0 so long that everybody lost interest before we got a chance to play. I no longer believe this at all. In fact, I think that he was right from the beginning. I'm pretty sure that the order of conflict goes something like this:

24: Causes no problems or conflict, and, in fact, comes up with unique and creative characters. His lack of ability to provide a character sheet comes from his job's erratic hours, and his feeling that something that's been 'in the works' for this long wasn't actually going anywhere. Basically, apply Knaight's assumption about 22 to him.

Dad: Slight problems/conflict. His control freak DM tendencies are a result of his unfamiliarity with the system. His DMPC was created because he feels like the system is more centered around 4 players whose archetypes perfectly fit the Fighter/Mage/Cleric/Thief squadron (The DMG's example of play having this party setup, as opposed to AD&D 2nd's setup of Fighter/Fighter/Cleric in the same section doesn't help). A couple of games run (or played) will most likely solve these issues.

Me: I personally keep pushing for it & bringing it up, which probably drives people away more than actually encourages them to play the game. Me automatically assuming that I know what's best for some of their character builds without actually consulting them for what they actually want out of the game, their character, etc. really pushes me into "That Guy" territory. (I'll try to work on ways to phrase suggestions that actually sound like suggestions, or just work through unbalanced party mechanics.) Of course, it doesn't help that dad's original idea behind the whole party being OP was him trying to be generous and everyone (mostly me) thinking that he was wrong for it. (to clarify: he didn't understand how the point buy system worked, so he just gave us 90 points to divide up among the abilities. There was also a short argument as to whether or not a Druid could have Charisma as a dump stat so he could have 18 Strength and Wisdom. This most recent time, we just rolled for stats, because me, him and 24 unanimously agreed that it's more fun that way.)

22: For some reason he goes to bed earlier than everybody else. After he went to bed, I told the rest of my family how I felt about the game, about some of the suggestions on the thread, etc. To give credit where credit is due, Solaris basically solved my entire family drama in less than 5 sentences. As much as I hate blaming most/all of my problems on one person, it sounds a lot like 22's total apathy towards the game is the main issue. To put things in perspective: I have a backlog of about 9 different characters. Dad has about 6-7-8, maybe more. 24 has 4 I can think of off the top of my head, but has definitely considered more concepts (remember: 24 puts little effort into his character sheet because he believes the game is going nowhere). 22 has a grand total of 3 characters, 2 of them are female support casters with the exact same personality, and he's only bothered to put down the name and attributes of his zombie killer sun cleric, who is just a rehash of his character from the 3 sessions of AD&D 2nd from before we turned 10 - with essentially no changes. Ultimately, since you don't actually need minis or a printer - just notebook paper and a solid memory - we could easily get started playing in 1-2 weeks (thanks to erratic work hours), simply by following the Silver Rule (which I just made up): If someone has absolutely zero interest in a group activity: it's faster, easier, and less frustrating to simply not invite them. We just decided to cut 22 out of the group. It's more fun to play with people who are actually invested, rather than people who do nothing but look for excuses to avoid their housework (growing frustration over this may have fueled our decision.)

Ultimately, I don't feel 100% about this decision. Not because he's my brother, and I should respect it if he doesn't want to play & feel disappointed that I gave up on him, but because I'm concerned that he might get butthurt (read: throw a tantrum) over not being invited to play a game that requires almost 2 entire hours of prep time on a good day. (might explain why Dad liked my Rogue's party so much: his was the only one that accumulated 3/4 complete character sheets).

Hopefully this post'll just get buried since I can't delete it (I don't think I need it anymore), so I'll probably just disable it. The only loose ends to tie up now are:

*Said plan for the LG Wizard was to give him access to the Abjuration Domain from Unearthed Arcana, but give him a short list of tenants that he could not break, otherwise he would lose his domain slots and get a penalty to all spellcasting abilities unless he atoned. (I haven't worked out what the penalties or tenants would be yet.)

*They chose the Switch.

I'm just gonna leave this thread now. If people start somethin' on it, I'll probably lock it up.

But, seriously: Thank you for the help.

Original Comment Below.

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Despite what the title says, this is not a joke thread. In fact, I created this account just so I could ask for help with this, but I probably have some explaining to do.

My dad has been wanting to DM a game of 3.5 edition as a kind of family game night since he first got the books in late 2008. We still haven't gotten everything together to actually play a single session though.

Now, my dad and my two older brothers are finally in a position where we can actually play the game, assuming everyone's got the day off for it, but we still haven't gotten to play at all.

To help clarify, you can think of us as "Dad", "OP", "22", and "24". We all room together to help pay bills and the like. The three of us help take care of our dad because he's handicapped and diabetic.

We have a table that's the right size for playing, but I can't find Dad's old collection of miniatures, & our old checkerboard mat got ruined a long time ago.

My dad feels as though 22 is the main problem, as, despite being unemployed & therefore having the most free time to create a character to play with, has put almost no effort into his character at all. While that is indeed true, I feel that Dad is the main problem, because of how controlling he is with everybody's characters, such as us not being strong enough unless our attributes have a combined total of 90 points, or making our 1st level characters bring so much random equipment that we're all at least carrying medium loads, or playing as a Domain Wizard variant even though we haven't even played one session.

He also shoots down the vast majority of my suggestions, such as me wanting to replace our lost minis with the AMFES books because 'the paper won't hold up for that long' or wanting to run a Caster that's not a wizard because 'we won't be versatile enough as a team'.

Frankly, this has been going on for years, and I'm sick of it. I don't mind creating new characters at all (it's actually one of my favorite parts of the game) and I'm more than willing to put in the effort to make things as easy as possible (especially since Dad doesn't seem to fully understand how the point buy system is supposed to work). Any help to get the ball rolling would be massively appreciated. And thank you in advance.

[Aegis013]

Sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds frustrating.

This is merely from my own experience, but the best I can tell you is the game most likely to succeed/get played is the one you are personally dedicated to running. Have you considered running a game, even a one-shot session, yourself?

As far as dealing with the lack of mat and minis, there is the option of using "theater of the mind" (no mat, no minis) style, though the DM often needs to be flexible with distances and positioning to prevent the game from devolving into arguments about tactics.

On dealing with effort on character creation, not everybody likes that part of it. In my opinion, someone whose just along for the ride is fine as long as everybody is still having fun.

As a fellow person who has had (lesser) difficulty getting games together I hope this helps.

[zlefin]

don't?
this sounds like it'd have a bad group dynamic. if you want to play, find a group elsewhere. control freak DMs are bad news, and this looks like a very serious case of it.
much as you'd like to, odds are it will go very poorly.

[Nifft]

I feel that Dad is the main problem, because of how controlling he is with everybody's characters, such as us not being strong enough unless our attributes have a combined total of 90 points, or making our 1st level characters bring so much random equipment that we're all at least carrying medium loads, or playing as a Domain Wizard variant even though we haven't even played one session.

From the one side of this story that we've heard, your feeling sounds correct.

The over-powered DMPC is a huge red flag in my experience.


I suggest finding a different game, getting some practice with the rules, and then offering to run as the DM yourself.

Or just finding a different game and enjoying it, possibly with (some of) your brothers.

[Knaight]

My dad feels as though 22 is the main problem, as, despite being unemployed & therefore having the most free time to create a character to play with, has put almost no effort into his character at all.

Given how this game appears to be going nowhere, this isn't exactly surprising. If someone spends nine years talking about how they'll get to something at some point the safe assumption is that it just isn't going to happen.

This game is dead in the water, and the relevant question at this point is how to get your dad to see it (or at least to stop pestering everyone else about it). The easiest method is probably to get together with your brothers, and collectively come up with some specific times that will work for all three of you where you'll play one game with characters your dad made (which should ensure that they're up to spec). There's an off chance this ends up with a game, and a much larger chance that this ends up with the specter of a game in the future, after the miniatures are found with nobody actually looking for them.

[Pleh]

Well, there isn't anything wrong with playing just to humor your father, either. Why not just be the sidekick to his DMPC adventure? I'm not being sarcastic. It sounds like he has some really particular ideas to share, so maybe just go along with it and just look for quality time with your family rather than a quality game.

If that doesn't appeal to you, then you should probably have this convo with your dad.

[RoboEmperor]

Well, there isn't anything wrong with playing just to humor your father, either. Why not just be the sidekick to his DMPC adventure? I'm not being sarcastic. It sounds like he has some really particular ideas to share, so maybe just go along with it and just look for quality time with your family rather than a quality game.

If that doesn't appeal to you, then you should probably have this convo with your dad.

Second this.

[Chrysamere]

Sorry about the long wait replying. I'll try to get everyone in one post.
Sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds frustrating.

This is merely from my own experience, but the best I can tell you is the game most likely to succeed/get played is the one you are personally dedicated to running. Have you considered running a game, even a one-shot session, yourself?

As far as dealing with the lack of mat and minis, there is the option of using "theater of the mind" (no mat, no minis) style, though the DM often needs to be flexible with distances and positioning to prevent the game from devolving into arguments about tactics.

On dealing with effort on character creation, not everybody likes that part of it. In my opinion, someone whose just along for the ride is fine as long as everybody is still having fun.

As a fellow person who has had (lesser) difficulty getting games together I hope this helps.

I have, in fact, been wanting to DM for some time now. Until I get this resolved though, I can't even try to get him to join because I have "no experience" playing, which apparently means I shouldn't DM. (Wow! That's not psychologically damaging at all!)

If I remember correctly, TOTM was the original plan, but after our kitchen table broke (glass and hot things don't play nice), and I managed to find a cheap plywood dining table with a leaf to replace it, followed by a hunt for those old metal minis which actually turned up some old plaster dungeon walls dad received as a present a few years ago, I think that it sort of took a turn towards using minis.

For paragraph 3, I think this is how 22 feels, but I'm 90% positive this is how 24 feels.


don't?
this sounds like it'd have a bad group dynamic. if you want to play, find a group elsewhere. control freak DMs are bad news, and this looks like a very serious case of it.
much as you'd like to, odds are it will go very poorly.

This exact scenario is what I'm most afraid of. I feel more like we should play the adventure he's got planned, more to get it out of the way than anything.


From the one side of this story that we've heard, your feeling sounds correct.

The over-powered DMPC is a huge red flag in my experience.


I suggest finding a different game, getting some practice with the rules, and then offering to run as the DM yourself.

Or just finding a different game and enjoying it, possibly with (some of) your brothers.

I think you misinterpreted something here - it isn't *just* the DMPC that's OP, it's got to be the whole party that's that inhumanly strong. And also carry almost everything out of the phb's equipment section as a1st level character. Per character. (please help me figure out why in pelor's name a runaway wizard from a swamp academy would need 10 peices of chalk, a grappling hook, and a fishing net, when he knows that the dwarf fighter is also bringing all that same stuff)

On that note, I already feel really familiar with the rules, but that's probably overconfidence from a bunch of KOTOR.

I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but I used to be pretty fond of trying to make my own rpgs. Unfortunately, the last time I remember running an RPG for my older brothers, I accidentally made 24's wizard way too OP, (somehow more OP than anything 3.5 could dream of) to the point where 22 finally got pissed at him and attacked his character. And while that was a really long time ago, (I think longer than 9 years but I don't remember) 22's the kind of person who blames himself for everything, so it wouldn't surprise me if some crappy game I made forever ago is making him more apathetic to playing D&D.


Given how this game appears to be going nowhere, this isn't exactly surprising. If someone spends nine years talking about how they'll get to something at some point the safe assumption is that it just isn't going to happen.

This game is dead in the water, and the relevant question at this point is how to get your dad to see it (or at least to stop pestering everyone else about it). The easiest method is probably to get together with your brothers, and collectively come up with some specific times that will work for all three of you where you'll play one game with characters your dad made (which should ensure that they're up to spec). There's an off chance this ends up with a game, and a much larger chance that this ends up with the specter of a game in the future, after the miniatures are found with nobody actually looking for them.

Oftentimes I feel like he just creates excuses so we can't play this. I have no idea why someone would do that. I'm thinking about having a talk with the family about this, but I may go with this option if that also fails.


Well, there isn't anything wrong with playing just to humor your father, either. Why not just be the sidekick to his DMPC adventure? I'm not being sarcastic. It sounds like he has some really particular ideas to share, so maybe just go along with it and just look for quality time with your family rather than a quality game.

If that doesn't appeal to you, then you should probably have this convo with your dad.

(I've been lurking here how long? I should already know that OP never gives enough info in his 1st post.)

See above about the DMPC thing, but it's worth pointing out that he initially wanted to DMPC a Rogue, specifically because they didn't need to hang around in the spotlight all the time. Another problem (the list will never end, will it?) is that 24 initially wanted to RP a lawful good wizard who had this "oath of nonviolent magic" thing going on, but was shot down because we (apparently) needed someone who could cast damaging spells (despite having a sun cleric and a duskblade) so he started making a Rogue almost every time dad wanted to try again.

When it comes to an OP Gary Stu protagonist, I feel that way over a particular Rogue I created. My dad really likes my detective with dead parents for some reason, even though I'm pretty sure he would be banned from any sane table unless he were literally a parody of himself. It seems to me like he's got a big twist planned for him, but the rest of the team would have to be up to a film-noir style game for his character to actually work.


Second this.

I 1.5 this. Everyone who works gets the day off together here, so maybe I'll have a nice discussion, along with a couple of Amazon purchases.

[weckar]

I do hope you keep us updated. Family D&D is always a joy to read about. :smallwink:

[Knaight]

Oftentimes I feel like he just creates excuses so we can't play this. I have no idea why someone would do that. I'm thinking about having a talk with the family about this, but I may go with this option if that also fails.

There's a perfectionism spiral that can come up in cases like these - you want to do something well, so you put more time in it. Now it needs to be good enough to justify putting that much time in it, and it isn't, so you put more time in it. Now it needs to be good enough to justify putting that much time into it, and it isn't so you put more time in it. Right now we're at a justification level of needing to be good enough for something nine years in the making. That's bad enough for a major work, but at least a novel or dissertation or really big sculpture can be expected to take years. A D&D session should require prep time measured in hours on the high end, and while the first one can be bumped up a bit there's no need for it to take even one year.

[Nifft]

I think you misinterpreted something here - it isn't *just* the DMPC that's OP, it's got to be the whole party that's that inhumanly strong.

Any DMPC is a red flag of some size or other.

A DMPC who is built to compete with the party for power, and who isn't a support character, is a larger red flag.

[Pleh]

I think you misinterpreted something here - it isn't *just* the DMPC that's OP, it's got to be the whole party that's that inhumanly strong. And also carry almost everything out of the phb's equipment section as a1st level character. Per character. (please help me figure out why in pelor's name a runaway wizard from a swamp academy would need 10 peices of chalk, a grappling hook, and a fishing net, when he knows that the dwarf fighter is also bringing all that same stuff)

On that note, I already feel really familiar with the rules, but that's probably overconfidence from a bunch of KOTOR.

snip

it's worth pointing out that he initially wanted to DMPC a Rogue, specifically because they didn't need to hang around in the spotlight all the time. Another problem (the list will never end, will it?) is that 24 initially wanted to RP a lawful good wizard who had this "oath of nonviolent magic" thing going on, but was shot down because we (apparently) needed someone who could cast damaging spells (despite having a sun cleric and a duskblade) so he started making a Rogue almost every time dad wanted to try again.

When it comes to an OP Gary Stu protagonist, I feel that way over a particular Rogue I created. My dad really likes my detective with dead parents for some reason, even though I'm pretty sure he would be banned from any sane table unless he were literally a parody of himself. It seems to me like he's got a big twist planned for him, but the rest of the team would have to be up to a film-noir style game for his character to actually work.

As for KOTOR, you likely aren't very far off. I played 3.5 before KOTOR, but I remember feeling like there were a LOT of parallels and shared mechanics. KOTOR was very stripped down in comparison, but a lot of the ideas work functionally the same. Beware of magic users, though. The Force in KOTOR was much better balanced than Spellcasting in 3.5 could ever hope to be.

Having a whole set of mundane equipment for each character is no problem if you can convince him to give each of you a free bag of holding to keep it all.


Any DMPC is a red flag of some size or other.

A DMPC who is built to compete with the party for power, and who isn't a support character, is a larger red flag.

I've got a DMPC in one of my current games. To be honest, I never expected him to join the party, it just kind of happened through Role Play and it just made sense. I built the character as a side passion project, threw him into the story as a flavor additive. The PCs invited him to tag along and it was in character for him to want to look after the little one, so he joined. He's also just kind of an optimized Monk puncher, so he's not terribly powerful, but he deals damage consistently enough in combat to lend some damage support to the group. He doesn't exactly lead or make any decisions, just follows the party and helps them kill things like the good Strong-but-Silent Type Half Orc Monk Fist of the Forest that he is.

It helps that the Party is unusually small. I have two players in that group, so I even granted them some cohorts to help balance out the party as well. For a DMPC, he's one of the least offensive I've seen, and largely due to the fact that he was absolutely never intended to be one.

[Nifft]

I've got a DMPC in one of my current games. To be honest, I never expected him to join the party, it just kind of happened through Role Play and it just made sense. I built the character as a side passion project, threw him into the story as a flavor additive. The PCs invited him to tag along and it was in character for him to want to look after the little one, so he joined. He's also just kind of an optimized Monk puncher, so he's not terribly powerful, but he deals damage consistently enough in combat to lend some damage support to the group. He doesn't exactly lead or make any decisions, just follows the party and helps them kill things like the good Strong-but-Silent Type Half Orc Monk Fist of the Forest that he is.

It helps that the Party is unusually small. I have two players in that group, so I even granted them some cohorts to help balance out the party as well. For a DMPC, he's one of the least offensive I've seen, and largely due to the fact that he was absolutely never intended to be one.

You seem to be well aware of the pitfalls that are common to DMPCs.

I suspect players of your game wouldn't bother to mention that DMPC when listing any problems, frustrations, or other issues with your campaign.

[Rerednaw]

To OP.

Strongly recommend if there no options nearby (game day at a brick and mortar comic or game store) then try online virtual tabletop sites such as roll20.net.

I'd be more than willing to set up a one-shot to get you in the swing of things. I just started a 3.5 campaign (1 session of Red Hand) and if you want to come in let me know.

[Solaris]

I suspect that the father might outgrow the control freak thing if he gets some game time in and learns a bit more. From what I've seen, the behavior comes out of normal, sane-minded people when they're in situations they don't really grok. Basically, he has an idea of what he wants to happen and is afraid that it won't happen anything like what he wants. Once grokking happens, so does relaxing.
As to whether or not it's worth it to see if that happens is entirely up to OP and his siblings. I know nowhere near enough of the situation to begin to weigh one way or the other.


I've got a DMPC in one of my current games. To be honest, I never expected him to join the party, it just kind of happened through Role Play and it just made sense. I built the character as a side passion project, threw him into the story as a flavor additive. The PCs invited him to tag along and it was in character for him to want to look after the little one, so he joined. He's also just kind of an optimized Monk puncher, so he's not terribly powerful, but he deals damage consistently enough in combat to lend some damage support to the group. He doesn't exactly lead or make any decisions, just follows the party and helps them kill things like the good Strong-but-Silent Type Half Orc Monk Fist of the Forest that he is.

It helps that the Party is unusually small. I have two players in that group, so I even granted them some cohorts to help balance out the party as well. For a DMPC, he's one of the least offensive I've seen, and largely due to the fact that he was absolutely never intended to be one.

I fall on the other side of the line from Nifft about DMPCs being always a bad thing, but what you're describing sounds more like an NPC than a DMPC. A DMPC is, quite literally, a DM's PC with agency and everything. It can work, but far more rarely than many who run them suspect - and at best, they have only the semblance of agency but don't actually make the important decisions.

[Chrysamere]

I do hope you keep us updated. Family D&D is always a joy to read about. :smallwink:

Well, here I am. Hopefully I don't get too sidetracked by the DMPC argument.

I tried to see what I could do about talking to everybody about their characters and what we needed to do to get started playing. Unfortunately, dad was the only one I was able to hold a conversation with about it. I asked him if he would rather run an NPC Rogue if it would be easier on him. He explained that he was fine either NPCing a Rogue or a Fighter, but he had his dwarf fighter already ready to go, and proceeded to explain how a cleric makes an okay npc since 'all they really do is heal' (he seems to be stuck in cleric = healbot mode from his ad&d days) and that a wizard was, frankly, impossible to npc because knowing the adventure in advance would give a wizard npc the foreknowledge to prepare the perfect spells for all the encounters, unless he prepared the wrong spells on purpose.

Things got sour when I tried to talk to 22 and 24 about it. I couldn't get more than 2 words out of them in regards to their characters. Of course, this morning wasn't the best time to ask them about that - they managed to wake me up with a heated argument about a very important purchase. But what could it be? A down payment on a working car? The parts for the next home repair project? Nope - they were arguing over whether we should use a discount that would only be available tomorrow or the next day to buy a Nintendo Switch or a Wii U.

I have a weird family.

After that was finally resolved, I tried to suggest that they start working on their characters, to no real response whatsoever. I later looked around for some good feats for 22's cleric (he stated a real long time ago that he wanted to run a zombie killer) and was ignored when I told him about Exalted Turning. Specifically, he lost interest the moment he figured out I was surprised over something D&D related. ('Oh my god!' 'What? What is it?' 'With this 'exalted turning' feat, you could deal, like, 5d6 damage per turning!' 'oh.') When I brought up the same thing to him and dad simultaneously, he was a lot more interested in what dad had to say about the feat.

All that this did was make me realize how pushy i was being about the whole thing. But 22's actions heavily imply that he doesn't want to play at all, despite repeatedly saying otherwise.

I didn't ask 24 how his rogue was coming along, but did offer my RP heavy suggestion for how his lg wizard could work. He seemed to think that my idea for it was really good.

Also, we never set up our printer, and can't find a good spot for it in dad's bedroom where he can privately print statblocks, because we were forced to cram a giant bookshelf in there.


As for KOTOR, you likely aren't very far off. I played 3.5 before KOTOR, but I remember feeling like there were a LOT of parallels and shared mechanics. KOTOR was very stripped down in comparison, but a lot of the ideas work functionally the same. Beware of magic users, though. The Force in KOTOR was much better balanced than Spellcasting in 3.5 could ever hope to be.

Having a whole set of mundane equipment for each character is no problem if you can convince him to give each of you a free bag of holding to keep it all.



I've got a DMPC in one of my current games. To be honest, I never expected him to join the party, it just kind of happened through Role Play and it just made sense. I built the character as a side passion project, threw him into the story as a flavor additive. The PCs invited him to tag along and it was in character for him to want to look after the little one, so he joined. He's also just kind of an optimized Monk puncher, so he's not terribly powerful, but he deals damage consistently enough in combat to lend some damage support to the group. He doesn't exactly lead or make any decisions, just follows the party and helps them kill things like the good Strong-but-Silent Type Half Orc Monk Fist of the Forest that he is.

It helps that the Party is unusually small. I have two players in that group, so I even granted them some cohorts to help balance out the party as well. For a DMPC, he's one of the least offensive I've seen, and largely due to the fact that he was absolutely never intended to be one.

Kotor's directly based off of the d20 ruleset, so I think it helps you get used to the core mechanics. Kotor 1 even has 20 level class tables in the manual.

We actually came up with a confusing encumbrance variant where equipped weapons and armor don't count towards your total. Though why we're even bothering to check encumbrance for a 3 adventure thing is beyond me.


To OP.

Strongly recommend if there no options nearby (game day at a brick and mortar comic or game store) then try online virtual tabletop sites such as roll20.net.

I'd be more than willing to set up a one-shot to get you in the swing of things. I just started a 3.5 campaign (1 session of Red Hand) and if you want to come in let me know.

I always felt like that was nuclear option, but I'm felling less bad/guilty over wanting to try as time goes by. I have a roll20 account, but am also willing to try tabletop simulator.

I live in a small town, and the only place i knew about that did that closed down 3 months ago.

I might take you up on that offer after I see how my schedule looks this week.


I suspect that the father might outgrow the control freak thing if he gets some game time in and learns a bit more. From what I've seen, the behavior comes out of normal, sane-minded people when they're in situations they don't really grok. Basically, he has an idea of what he wants to happen and is afraid that it won't happen anything like what he wants. Once grokking happens, so does relaxing.
As to whether or not it's worth it to see if that happens is entirely up to OP and his siblings. I know nowhere near enough of the situation to begin to weigh one way or the other.



I fall on the other side of the line from Nifft about DMPCs being always a bad thing, but what you're describing sounds more like an NPC than a DMPC. A DMPC is, quite literally, a DM's PC with agency and everything. It can work, but far more rarely than many who run them suspect - and at best, they have only the semblance of agency but don't actually make the important decisions.

[googles grok]

From what I understand about my dad, this is absolutely right. Also, it doesn't seem like he's as opposed to me DMing as I initially thought, it's just that he specifically wants to dm with the new (14 year old) system. (probably gonna strikeout my dark joke here later.)

And finally my take about the dmpc thing:

Npc who's there to temporarily fill a missing important role until a new player shows up to take that role over with his own character: good.

Npc who's in it for the gold and glory and tries to upstage the team as often as possible, with impossibly powerful magic items, lucky rolls, etc.: bad.