Need ideas how to annoy but don't kill a NPC merchant

[Zhepna]

Hi,

one of the NPC in the town spitted in my face just after I said Hi, the dm said it's because the NPC doesn't like elf. I have a good reputation in game and build a free school, made free-entry festival, etc so it was really out-of-nowhere.

It's a dwarf, crafting stuff with scrap. I don't want to kill him because my dm is really attach to his NPCs and give them OP stats so I'll stand no chance in a direct confrontation.

It's a merchant so for the moment the only thing I made is to make a sign saying that all items are 50% off for today only and use unseen servant to go plant it in the front of his shop.

I'm a lvl 3 wizard.

I thought maybe I could forge a fake paper saying that I own his house and trade it versus something else while I'm in another town(using disguise so that they cannot link it back to me). I'll give all the money to an orphelina, it's only to bring him trouble.

I'm looking for other ideas to revenge the honor of my old elf, do you have ideas?

Thanks in advance and have a day :)

[Inevitability]

Prestidigitation is a very versatile spell. Use it to soil the guy's clothes, turn his hat neon green, make his bread taste like dog vomit just before he takes a bite, dampen his seat... The possibilities are endless.

Alternatively, talk to the city guard about this instance of blatant racism, if this is the type of city that cares.

Also, talk to your DM about giving random NPCs god stats.

[flappeercraft]

Spread rumors saying that he kissed a goblin, that will get in any dwarfs pride and get him real mad

[Celestia]

Go up to his store every day and ask if he sells any grapes.

[noob]

Use forgery to write that someone own his soul.
With enough shenanigans for maxing forgery(such as guidance of the avatar) you can make something nobody can recognize as a fake.
Then the merchant reputation takes a big hit.

[Geddy2112]

At higher levels plague his days with sending, dream, nightmare, and other spells that can reach out and screw with the shopkeep.

If you had access to animal messenger you can spam owls to his location Harry Potter style. I prefer Geese or Ducks or pigeons, some kind of awful loud obnoxious bird that poops a lot.

The bigger problem is that almost every NPC in your DM's world has god stats, which is a major hallmark of a terrible game.

[Vizzerdrix]

Pay a druid to cast animate wood on his bed just after going to bed. Maybe a wild ride through the muddy streets in his bed cloaths every night for a week will adjust his mood. Or at least be funny.

[Avigor]

Hit him with a bestow curse set to make whatever slurs he uses against others apply to him instead (i.e. if he uses the term "*******", his back is forever soaked with sweat, if he calls someone "lily livered", he becomes weak and cowardly, etc).

[Calthropstu]

Unseen servant to set up tripwires in his store and rearrange his shelves into random orders.

Place sovereign glue on his door hinges so the door won't open.

Animate dead scroll and have it carry the sign outside his door.

Summon a wolf outside his door.

[jmax]

Buy or make a magical Annoy-O-Tron (http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/kmnr/) and use an unseen servant to plant it in his shop. Mimicking the sound of whatever he has set up to alert him to the presence of a customer would probably be best if you can stick it in a part of his shop from which he can't see the front door.

[Sheogoroth]

Have you ever heard the story of The Cask of Amontillado?

You’re a wizard, man! No peasant smith should be able to withstand you wrath no matter how thick the plot armor.

For full vengeance, prepare expeditious construction (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/expeditious-construction), and buy a potion of neutralize poison. Then challenge him to a drinking game, which his honor as a dwarf would not let him pass up. Get him so drunk he can’t stand, while you swig the neutralizing poison potion, removing your intoxication.

Lead him drunkenly down into his own cellar, cast the spell, and seal him in a 3-foot thick slab of solid stone. No ones breaking out of that, and if the DM miraculously saves him, he’s probably a bad DM.

[noob]

Have you ever heard the story of The Cask of Amontillado?

You’re a wizard, man! No peasant smith should be able to withstand you wrath no matter how thick the plot armor.

For full vengeance, prepare expeditious construction (http://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/e/expeditious-construction), and buy a potion of neutralize poison. Then challenge him to a drinking game, which his honor as a dwarf would not let him pass up. Get him so drunk he can’t stand, while you swig the neutralizing poison potion, removing your intoxication.

Lead him drunkenly down into his own cellar, cast the spell, and seal him in a 3-foot thick slab of solid stone. No ones breaking out of that, and if the DM miraculously saves him, he’s probably a bad DM.

From the thread creator:


It's a dwarf, crafting stuff with scrap. I don't want to kill him because my dm is really attach to his NPCs and give them OP stats so I'll stand no chance in a direct confrontation.
So if you successfully kill it since it is one of the gm favorite npcs then somehow you will have made the gm angry and then "unrelated" bad stuff will happen to your character because the gm will be taking his revenge.
So while you could have a way of killing the npc it might not be a good idea.
Also if the npc is high level enough he might have friends that can resurrect him or me might be "hiding an adamantine sledgehammer the whole time"(retconjured by the gm) with which he might break the wall.
So I think if you want to trap him you should prepare the room by making a fire burn in it(and then close the door) for rarefying the air so that he will not have much time to break the wall.(if possible find ways to make the cellar more dangerous)

[denthor]

Why do you care you are an adventurer leave the town.

In real life would you go to extremes to get what would amount to a crime?

Treat it as an alignment builder or doing good not chaos. You would only be feeding his distrust of you . Making it harder to befriend him in the future.

Do good find another business.

[Calthropstu]

Why do you care you are an adventurer leave the town.

In real life would you go to extremes to get what would amount to a crime?

Treat it as an alignment builder or doing good not chaos. You would only be feeding his distrust of you . Making it harder to befriend him in the future.

Do good find another business.

Actually, there was a real life incident recently in the news where a woman used a racial epithet and a large movement formed trying to find her real name and address.
They tracked her down via social media, harrassed her work place and damaged her property. She got fired, her property devalued and all sorts of other things were done to her.
So yeah, people will go to those extremes.

[Dragolord]

Actually, there was a real life incident recently in the news where a woman used a racial epithet and a large movement formed trying to find her real name and address.
They tracked her down via social media, harrassed her work place and damaged her property. She got fired, her property devalued and all sorts of other things were done to her.
So yeah, people will go to those extremes.

And they were, obviously, wrong to do so, though this is getting dangerously close to talking about politics. As the man said, do Good, not Evil, and talk to your DM about appropriate stats for random NPCs.

[Calthropstu]

And they were, obviously, wrong to do so, though this is getting dangerously close to talking about politics. As the man said, do Good, not Evil, and talk to your DM about appropriate stats for random NPCs.

Fair enough. I just wanted to state that yes, people will go to huge extremes over an issue like that. As such, I see little issue with the op having his character go to similar lengths. Unless op is evil, I doubt it goes so far as to being deadly but I could see him forcing the merchant to issue an apology.

[Jay R]

Buy him out of some commodity that sells for copper pieces.

Then send some guy to him needing that commodity and willing to pay in gold.

[Potato_Priest]

I heartily second the grapes suggestion.

Also, how does the city's sewage system work? A lot of the best pranks start there.

Edit: I just went back and saw the animate wood prank. Absolutely perfect.

[daremetoidareyo]

Make a business that sells the same thing as his, but sell yours at a loss. Go adventuring just to basically give away for free whatever goods he creates. Unseen crafters just assembly lining the crap out of stuff.

[NecroDancer]

Just don't buy stuff from the merchant. Also you could use simple illusions to make his store seem like sh*t if you really want revenge.

Or maybe look at this list

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/2wcwcq/60_****_moves_to_pull_as_a_wizard/

[jmax]

Or maybe look at this list

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/2wcwcq/60_****_moves_to_pull_as_a_wizard/

From that list, casting arcane lock on his shop door would probably be a reasonable and proportionate response. It'd be a pain to deal with, but it probably won't get you in trouble with the local constabulary, and there's very low risk of hurting an innocent bystander. Plus you can pull it off invisbly with invisibility. Or sneakily with alter self.

Optionally, if you're willing to inconvenience a relatively innocent bystander, wait until he has an incredibly obnoxious customer before arcane locking the door. Now he's stuck with them until he can get the door open. Make sure you get the back door, too. And the windows. And the chimney/furnace flue, but not while he has a fire going unless you actually want to murder him.

Of all of these, chimney/furnace flue by itself is probably the most subtle and stylish.

If you really want to make him mad, arcane lock the cash register :smallbiggrin:

[jedikiller]

Wipe poo on his shop door. Works every time

[frogglesmash]

Hide a dead fish in a warm out of the way part of the shop

[Scorponok]

Summon a horse using the spell Mount and get an NPC to sell him the horse for a good deal.

[TeflonSam1]

1. Get a key.
2. Attach a tag that says "If found, please return to [NPC name]. Reward 10 gold."
3. Go to bad part of town.
4. Drop key.
5. Repeat.