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nickl_2000
2018-01-05, 08:18 AM
This is my first attempt at a subclass, so I hope people like it. I would love to hear thought on balance and flavor. Thanks!

http://homebrewery.naturalcrit.com/share/HJPcrVla7z

Blackbando
2018-01-05, 08:56 PM
Alright, review time. I'm unsure as to why you didn't just call it Duelist or Fencer, or something similar, but nothing wrong with the name.

Offhand Defense
Offhand and main hand aren't really terms in 5e. It'd be more like "other hand". Stick or other object is not that good, honestly. I think you'd actually be better off making them have the Swashbuckler/Mobile feat's thing of "When you make a melee attack against a creature, you don’t provoke opportunity attacks from that creature for the rest of the turn, whether you hit or not."

Rapier Wit
Usually what's best in this case is to give proficiency, but if they have proficiency already, give them a small list of skills (prob deception, initmidation, and performance) to take proficiency in. Don't take the bad route some people take and give them expertise if they already have proficiency; that's punishing players who don't take Persuasion prof already.

Lunging Strike
This isn't that powerful, honestly. I'd say maybe make it an attack with 5 foot longer reach (so it functions with whips better), and make it once per Attack action, so it functions better with Action Surge. Even then, it's still not very strong, but maybe it's fine?

Improved Offhand Defense
This is fine.

Disarming Strike
The target should be able to make a Strength saving throw, and maybe make this either once per turn, once per Attack action, or just limit its uses. To compare, Battlemaster gets a disarm, but it expends superiority dice for it. In this case, you will pretty much instantly defeat any monster that uses a weapon and isn't a monk.

Dance of Death
What kind of action is this? Can Dance of Death stack to make creatures have multiple attacks with disadvantage? Additionally, free actions aren't a thing.

This subclass isn't too bad, but it certainly needs some tweaks, both in wording/formatting and actual mechanics.

nickl_2000
2018-01-05, 10:11 PM
Thanks for your thoughts, the name is actually a Spanish name for fencers. I avoided duelist since it was already a fighting style.

I found what I thought was a gap in the game based on experience fighting with the SCA. I always loved use a cape or cloak in my offhand.

I'll take a better look at the comments when I'm back on my PC and see if I can come up with something a little better. I was overly paranoid that I would fall into the trap of making the class the best thing ever when homebrewing

nickl_2000
2018-01-06, 11:58 AM
Level 3 abilities.
-Moved to only cape and cloak to simplify it.
-Reworded some things
-Gave more options for the skill prof per your thoughts.

Level 7 ability
-Completely removed lunging strike and replaced it with something different (similar to the EK's war magic option, but limited to viscous mockery)

Disarming strike
Limited it to dex mod times per long rest. Turned it to a dex save. Made it a reaction

Dance of Death
Still struggling with this one, but changed it to no longer give disadvantage. Basicially gives +2 AC and the old 3e feat of whirlwind attack.

Calen
2018-01-06, 04:46 PM
Mostly commenting on phrasing and grammar here. I do like the flavor of the sub-class,


Rapier Wit... Your fast talking gains you proficiency with either the persuasion, deception, intimidation skills if you don't already have it.
Change to

You become proficient in one of the following skills. Persuasion, Deception, Intimidation


Dance of Death...For one minute you enter into a dance of death. Your blade flashes and strikes everyone around you, and your cape blocks all incoming strikes. For one minute you gain an additional +2 to your AC. Also, during you may use a special action to make an attack against all creatures that are within reach.
Once you have used this feature your cannot use it again until you complete a short or long rest
Change to

For one minute you enter the stance: Dance of Death. Your blade flashes and strikes everyone around you, and your cape blocks all incoming strikes.You gain an additional +2 to your AC. While in the stance you may use an action to make a melee attack against all creatures within reach. You may end the stance as a free action. The stance ends automatically if you are knocked unconscious.
I might suggest making the attack work within 5 feet not reach.

nickl_2000
2018-01-07, 02:27 PM
Mostly commenting on phrasing and grammar here. I do like the flavor of the sub-class,


Change to



Change to

I might suggest making the attack work within 5 feet not reach.

Thanks, I'll take a look at the wording updates. At level 18 does it make a that much of a difference is someone is using a whip and can reach out to 15 very? I mean sure it allows you wade through the smaller critters, but so do 9the level wizard spells and such.

I'm not against the restriction, but just was curious since my experience at high levels is limited.

nickl_2000
2018-01-08, 08:09 AM
There, touched up a few things. I think it's pretty decent, but if other have thought and tweaks I would still love to hear them.