How to make your DM hate you.

[Arenabait]

Conjure Minor Elementals is a thing. Chwingas (From Tomb of Annihilation) are CR0, and can give a humanoid a Divine Charm once per day. One of the Divine Charms lets them cast Conjure Animals 3 times before losing the charm. Do it to your whole party, summon 8 Giant Owls each, and conquer a small lordship.

[Easy_Lee]

In before someone says that the creatures summoned by conjure spells are up to the DM and that the pixie polymorph version is even stronger.

Regardless, I'm a DM and I wouldn't hate you for trying this. My campaigns cannot be broken in this way because I don't have a problem with players killing everything, abusing mechanics, or generally acting like "bad" players. I'm only concerned with the world and how it responds, and don't attempt to exert control over player actions. YMMV.

[Unoriginal]

Conjure Minor Elementals is a thing. Chwingas (From Tomb of Annihilation) are CR0, and can give a humanoid a charm once per day. One of the charms lets them cast Conjure Animals 3 times before losing the charm. Do it to your whole party, summon 8 Giant Owls each, and conquer a small lordship.

And how will you conquer a lordship with those Giant Owls? More importantly, how are you going to keep this lordship?

[GlenSmash!]

An easier way to get your DM to hate you is eat all the pizza, drink all the beer, and not pay your share.

[Unoriginal]

Any easier way to get your DM to hate you is eat all the pizza, drink all the beer, and not pay your share.

Or call them one hour before the start of the session, assure them you're going to show up and ask them to wait for you, then never show up or answer any call.

[Finlam]

Any easier way to get your DM to hate you is eat all the pizza, drink all the beer, and not pay your share.

You monster!

[Zanthy1]

Or call them one hour before the start of the session, assure them you're going to show up and ask them to wait for you, then never show up or answer any call.

That's truly evil.

[Strangways]

I like to summon things, but I take steps to ensure that combat doesn't get bogged down on my turn because I'm managing a horde of creatures. I've also never used the Pixie cheese, and probably wouldn't even if Pixies showed up in response to my summons.

[Errata]

In before someone says that the creatures summoned by conjure spells are up to the DM and that the pixie polymorph version is even stronger.

My opinion is you get to abuse conjure woodland beings that way once, so choose your moment wisely. From then on you get mostly sprites, blink dogs, or pixies who interpret your instructions about how to use their polymorph in a very liberal manner.

That goes double for Conjure Minor Elementals. You'd get mostly mephits at that CR, but maybe some day you'd get lucky.


I like to summon things, but I take steps to ensure that combat doesn't get bogged down on my turn because I'm managing a horde of creatures.

It's usually not that bad in 5e. They all get the same initiative, and you pretty much have to give general blanket orders to the group rather than micromanaging the position of each one. So a lot of the time it's just sliding a whole mob of them around in unison and rolling a ton of dice to see how many hit. Even when special abilities are employed, it's generally all the same ability on a given turn.

[Arkhios]

Why make your DM hate you? What purpose does it serve?

[Honest Tiefling]

An easier way to get your DM to hate you is eat all the pizza, drink all the beer, and not pay your share.

An even faster way is to pretend you left your dice at home, and reach for theirs without permission. And then reveal after the session you had your dice all along!

[GreyBlack]

Convince the players to not do the predetermined quest and instead to steal a boat and go on an adventure on the high seas.

[Coffee_Dragon]

Complain that you forgot your snacks, take the other players' dice and eat them, remember you had your snacks all along, and roll them on the table.

[Caelic]

And how will you conquer a lordship with those Giant Owls? More importantly, how are you going to keep this lordship?


"That's a nice ermine robe, your Majesty. Be a shame if something happened to it. Owl droppings are SO difficult to get out of fur..."

[Kalashak]

An even faster way is to pretend you left your dice at home, and reach for theirs without permission. And then reveal after the session you had your dice all along!

Or let your son flush the DM's dice down the toilet. I lost half a pound of dice this way once.

[samcifer]

Or play a ranged or caster class with high AC and take the Lucky feat, then use it to make all his attacks on you miss.

[Mikemical]

Or you know. Just be That GuyTM.

[mephnick]

Or play a ranged or caster class with high AC and take the Lucky feat, then use it to make all his attacks on you miss.

Jokes on you, the DM understands fun and has already banned the Lucky feat.

[2D8HP]

"Dice?

You expect me to roll dice like some barracks ne'er-do-well?

Away with those filthy things!

I'm crafting a story here!"

(Then describe in great detail all the accolades that every NPC bestows on your PC)

[Arkhios]

Or you know. Just be That GuyTM.

The topic of this thread should be instead: "How to be That GuyTM"

[samcifer]

Jokes on you, the DM understands fun and has already banned the Lucky feat.

My DM allows it. Worse still, I have 19 ac (scale mail, shield, +2 DEX and a +1 AC amulet.) And yes, I took the Lucky feat for my first ASI. :D

[Laserlight]

Tell the DM "I'd like to get more spotlight time for this skill which only my character has", then a couple of days ahead of the session assure him that you're looking forward to game night, then no-show and turn off your phone.


Convince the players to not do the predetermined quest and instead to steal a boat and go on an adventure on the high seas.

That didn't make me hate them. It made me question their sanity. "Rather than stop in this village, you're taking a rowboat across 200 miles of open ocean? Really?"

Okay, it was a bit exasperating too.


Or let your son flush the DM's dice down the toilet. I lost half a pound of dice this way once.

"I'm sorry, my dog ate your miniatures."

[GlenSmash!]

Or call them one hour before the start of the session, assure them you're going to show up and ask them to wait for you, then never show up or answer any call.

Nice one.


An even faster way is to pretend you left your dice at home, and reach for theirs without permission. And then reveal after the session you had your dice all along!

Wow. What kind of corrupt mind could even come up with this.

[Personification]

Complain that you forgot your snacks, take the other players' dice and eat them, remember you had your snacks all along, and roll them on the table.

Yay! I rolled a natural Sun Chips!

[RazorChain]

You can do a lot of things that both annoys your DM and fellow players.


Make annoying characters and give them stupid names like L33t master, Power Munchkin 2000 and name your backup character Justin Case.

Act out all your character with a really whiny voice.

Stab, kill, maim, blow up and burn all the DMs plot hooks and quest givers.

Do your best to faciliate TPKs to end your DMs carefully crafted campaign

Derail the adventure or the entire campaign the best way you can.

When faced with the world ending plot, wait until the last momen, then betray your fellow PC's and help the villain to end your DM's carefully crafted world.

Cheat with your DM's girlfriend and record you both where she calls you master. Then play the recording to your DM while rubbing in his face "Who is master now biatch!"

[Easy_Lee]

Cheat with your DM's girlfriend and record you both where she calls you master. Then play the recording to your DM while rubbing in his face "Who is master now biatch!"

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/353/279/e31.jpg

[strangebloke]

snip
Come on, we all knew where this was going.

Complain that you forgot your snacks, take the other players' dice and eat them, remember you had your snacks all along, and roll them on the table. this reads to me like a scene from American psycho

[Asmotherion]

Congratulations on being the 10000th person to find the Summon Cheat Code that still needs DM approval to do anything significant, and posted a thread about it.

Now, here is why you don't want your DM to hate you: Your DM makes a story for you, investing time and effort so that all his players enjoy said story. If you talk to your DM, he may or may not allow you to use said mechanic (I have in the past for similar things). He is not your enemy, but your Co-player. Trying to antagonise him takes you nowere.

Trying to make your DM to hate you, will just get you kicked out of his table, best case scenario, because no serious DM tolerates this kind of behaviour. It takes the fun away from D&D.

[samcifer]

At the start of every session, you use Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, START to gain 30 lives.