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Lavin
2007-08-26, 01:01 AM
I have a player who, despite just being a friend to me, likes me a lot. This shows up often in the game world. Her character is always trying to hook up with my character, and itís actually quite annoying, highly awkward, and needs to stop. In fact, despite the fact that I already have a serious girlfriend, she keeps asking me out and making moves like that in real life.

Perhaps her obsession with me will cease no time soon in the real world, but it is to you that I turn to for advice on how to keep it out of the game world.
If you do have any particularly good advice for the real life version of events, however, I would be deeply appreciative to hear it.

Nermy
2007-08-26, 01:04 AM
Next time she hits on your character, roll for initiative.

BRC
2007-08-26, 01:07 AM
Play a warforged or somthing similar so you can RP bizzare befuddlement when she tries to hit on your character? it won't solve your problem but it will be funny.

SadisticFishing
2007-08-26, 01:14 AM
Play a warforged or somthing similar so you can RP bizzare befuddlement when she tries to hit on your character? it won't solve your problem but it will be funny.

That's awesome.

I think this is the wrong forum to respond with "the cleer answr hre is SOUPRIZE B*TT**CKS"...

But you should actually talk to her and tell her that you're very happy with your current girlfriend, and even though you may complain sometimes (which I'm sure you do), the pros FAR outweigh the cons. Ask her not to let it get too awkward for you, and try introducing her to some of your friends if you can.

BRC
2007-08-26, 01:20 AM
I can picture it
Her: so what are you doing tonight eh?
You: I AM STANDING WATCH OVER THE REST OF OUR GROUP BECAUSE, UNLIKE FLESHY MEATBAGS I DO NOT REQUIRE SLEEP.
Her: Well, want to do somthing different?
You: YES, I WISH TO LEAD MY METTALIC BROTHERS IN AN UPRISING AGAINST THE OPPRESIVE REIGN OF NATURAL LIFEFORMS.

Solo
2007-08-26, 01:51 AM
Play same gendered characters.

Machete
2007-08-26, 01:54 AM
You could always ask her if she wants to be part of a thr-. Maybe admit to her your furry fet-.

I got nothing.

Jack Mann
2007-08-26, 01:55 AM
Talk to her about it. Outline the reasons why it makes you uncomfortable. Explain that while you like her as a friend, you just can't return the feelings she has, and that you would never betray your girlfriend.

Ignoring the problem won't make it any better. It just delays the inevitable, and makes it worse when it does come.

Solo
2007-08-26, 01:57 AM
You could always ask her if she wants to be part of a thr-. Maybe admit to her your furry fet-.

I got nothing.

The first one might work.

Kurald Galain
2007-08-26, 04:53 AM
The first one might work.

Given your avatar, that's a really funny remark :smallsmile:

Seriously though, talk to her. Is this just one character-character pairing, or does she do it in multiple campaigns regardless of what you and she play? In the former case, it may be that she's mostly just roleplaying, and it's less big of a deal than you make it out to be?

Feralgeist
2007-08-26, 05:22 AM
I don't know a problem that i couldnt solve, whether in D&D or regular life, with good ol' fashion surprise round full attacks. Or fireballs.

Roleplay disgusting things like responding to something like a kiss, and when they come in close suddenly vomit.

Or, you could use a variety of excuses

"I like you but im loyal"
"Im not gay, but i'll learn"
"2 thongs dont make my night"
"you cant catch a fish who's already in someone else's oven"

"A picture is worth a thousand words, so you can have this one"
http://i9.tinypic.com/5z5wvb8.jpg


good luck!

daggaz
2007-08-26, 06:05 AM
Yeah, Im gonna have to vote for trying to score a threesome, here...

Ossian
2007-08-26, 06:21 AM
Maybe some more information could prove useful. It could just boil down to two alternatives, roughly speaking.
a) She likes you, but more like a sort of infatuation. She is attracted by you but don't rule out the fact that she might be doing what she does like a sort of subconscious game. She knows you have a girlfriend, she knows you'll keep saying no, and still she flirts and makes moves.

b) She is in love with you. Whether since you were playing in the garden with the swing and the hanging tyre and you both were happy Goonies or she has fallen for you recently, that is sort of irrelevant.

Case a), is normally just a matter of time, especially if she eventually meets someone else she likes. Be patient. Don't yeld. Be firm (not nasty, she's a close friend, after all). Case b)...hmmm... well, "that's a a bit of a problem..." to quote good old king Leonidas, and I suppose that kicking her in the stomach crying "THIS...IS....SPARTAAAAA" isn't an option....:smallfrown:

Probably b) can be solved only by some serious vis a vis talking, outside the game sessions, and be prepared because there is a chance (small, very small, I wish you) to loose a friend.

Best of luck!

Os.

FoxHush
2007-08-26, 06:40 AM
Play a paladin or a cleric.
or you could be mean and when giving a back story go into how your pc is happly involved with ____ person.
But while i think you have i'd confort her more about not doing it.

Inane-Fedaykin
2007-08-26, 06:44 AM
Are you uninterested in this person because you're currently in a relationship or is there simply no appeal?

Wraithy
2007-08-26, 07:09 AM
grow a really long beard and never clean it, gain 50lb, and whenever you eat let half of the food fall into your beard and stay there, also try wetting yourself and vomiting over her, it worked for many people throughout history.

if you want to be direct invite your girlriend to the session (when the cat stays the mice can't play), but think long and hard about this option, and consult other members of the group first, this method has the potential to ruin a session.

or in game the warforged suggestion is brilliant, any warforged suggestion is brilliant
Her: what would you like to do while you're not sleeping?
you: tedious menial labor!
Her: you could menial my lab-
you: I ENJOY WITTLING!
her: w-
you: WITTLING!!!

Dhavaer
2007-08-26, 07:48 AM
I would like to say that the warforged suggestions are awesome. WHITTLING!

MMad
2007-08-26, 09:45 AM
Geez, just talk to her.

Tell her you're not interested and that her advances are annoying, unwanted and disruptive. If that doesn't work, talk to her again, making your point even more strongly. If that still doesn't work, well, either live with her behaviour or stop playing with her.

Messing around with her ingame isn't gonna make anyone happier and it's not gonna solve the problem. Only old-fashioned, real-world communication is going to do that.

Solo
2007-08-26, 09:48 AM
Yes, but messing around ingame is more fun for us.

blackspeeker
2007-08-26, 10:08 AM
Well there are lots of ways to let someone know you arent in to them, in game and out, a few of my favs are from Homer J Simpson, tell her "It's not you its me, I'm married to the sea, or I don't want to kill you but I will."

In my experience all three should work in both situations, but the warforged thing would work too.

BRC
2007-08-26, 10:21 AM
grow a really long beard and never clean it, gain 50lb, and whenever you eat let half of the food fall into your beard and stay there, also try wetting yourself and vomiting over her, it worked for many people throughout history.

if you want to be direct invite your girlriend to the session (when the cat stays the mice can't play), but think long and hard about this option, and consult other members of the group first, this method has the potential to ruin a session.

or in game the warforged suggestion is brilliant, any warforged suggestion is brilliant
Her: what would you like to do while you're not sleeping?
you: tedious menial labor!
Her: you could menial my lab-
you: I ENJOY WITTLING!
her: w-
you: WITTLING!!!
You sir, win a cookie

InkEyes
2007-08-26, 10:27 AM
As an alternative to playing a Warforged, play an awakened animal.

In all seriousness though, I'd have a talk with this girl and try to throughly convince her that even if it is a game it makes you uncomfortable to have her character constantly flirt with yours. If that doesn't work bring up the problem with your DM.

Matthew
2007-08-26, 06:07 PM
My advice would be this:

"If I were to leave my girlfriend for you, how could you trust me not to leave you for some other girl?* I'm not with my girlfriend to pass the time until I find someone better, I'm with her because I love her."

Job done.

*possibly with the addition of: "I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror if I were to be so weak willed as to cheat on someone I love."

dyslexicfaser
2007-08-26, 07:51 PM
As for the topic at hand, I don't think I could say anything that hasn't been said already: communication is the key. A little harmless in-game flirting is just that, but if it makes you uncomfortable or she's blatant about it, tell her so.

And now, for the less serious response.

As an alternative to playing a Warforged, play an awakened animal.
And what if she keeps it up despite that? You just succeeded in making it more awkward...

As for the discussion on Warforged, it's been making me think of odd pick-up lines.

Her: You want to get together for dinner later? And maybe... back to my place?
Warforged: Well, I am always hard...

Lavin
2007-08-26, 10:27 PM
Are you uninterested in this person because you're currently in a relationship or is there simply no appeal?

Well, both, actually. It's more the fact that she is so direct that concerns me. I typically have no problem whatsoever with real-world communication, but this situation is slightly more delicate, so I figured I would ask some other people before unintentionally making a bad choice and ruining a friendship.

Sulecrist
2007-08-27, 12:14 AM
I'd say make your character super-unappealing (the Warforged idea is great, but you could always be a Jabrin (MMV) or Neanderthal (Frostburn).) Or take on a vow of chastity, like Sir Gawain. Or become a eunuch. Or contract leprosy with Spell Resistance.

As for the real-life girl... Make sure you're not sitting next to her at the table and just cut down on any accidental or intentional physical contact. Maybe stop brushing your teeth or something.

bigbaddragon
2007-08-27, 06:49 AM
You could bring your girlfriend to a few sessions and see if she backs down. If she doesn't, do what Jack Mann said in the way Matthew suggested.

Duke of URL
2007-08-27, 07:40 AM
If your DM will allow it, play an evil character. After she hits on you, "agree", then be a totally abusive pr*ck (in character) to her. The more she starts playing her character like herself, the more abusive you should become.

The potential drawback would be if she's into that sort of thing...

Sulecrist
2007-08-27, 08:36 AM
If your DM will allow it, play an evil character. After she hits on you, "agree", then be a totally abusive pr*ck (in character) to her. The more she starts playing her character like herself, the more abusive you should become.

The potential drawback would be if she's into that sort of thing...

Don't do that; she'll think you're being coy. Maybe instead be Exalted and be maddeningly calm about everything. Sort of a Mr. Impossible to Sally kind of thing, but without the polar bears, mental handicaps, and searing pain.

Inane-Fedaykin
2007-08-27, 08:52 AM
Well, both, actually. It's more the fact that she is so direct that concerns me. I typically have no problem whatsoever with real-world communication, but this situation is slightly more delicate, so I figured I would ask some other people before unintentionally making a bad choice and ruining a friendship.

As Mathew suggested, simply tell her that right now you're not interested.

Now, I hate to say anything bad about your friends but from what you've described I'd be very carefull about saying that you may at some point in the future, when you aren't with someone, be interested in her because from what you've described she may very well be the kind of crazy that tries to break you and your girlfriend up so you can be together. You think it only happens in movies but I've seen it.

InkEyes
2007-08-27, 09:42 AM
And what if she keeps it up despite that? You just succeeded in making it more awkward...

I assume the point to suggestions about alternative characters is to make hitting on his character so awkward she just stops. This of course depends on the fact that she has qualms about hitting on animals, non biological beings, and people of the same gender. This method should probably be a last resort anyway (ie, she hasn't listened to anything he tells her.)

Another option is to fill the DM in on the situation. Explain how uncomfortable he feels about this girl constantly flirting with his character and see if having the DM telling her to stop helps.

Person_Man
2007-08-27, 10:05 AM
Set her up on a date with a friend of yours. Or if you don't like her, set her up with an enemy. If either she or your friend/enemy refuses, apply beer, repeat.

Drider
2007-08-27, 11:23 AM
You can become the DM, and see how she reacts to NPC's...(kinda like taking yourself out of the available choices)...maybe get another character to have a "special" evening in their backstories and both are now loyal to each other or something?