View Full Version : funny spell use involving ice to flesh

2007-08-26, 05:37 AM
Okay, so i was reading frostburn, and hilarity was afoot!

So you need to be about level12th or something, whatever it is to cast 5th level spells as a wizard. the spells you'll use is ice to flesh, and shape ice. plus the 4th level spell column of ice.

First, we cast column of ice, to get a (assuming we're 12th level) 60 foot high, 10 feet diameter column of ice. Cast it again, so the same column is 120 ft (just cast it on the exact same spot.) Next, since we're VERY high up, we slowly sit down or something so we dont have to make balance checks. Cast shape ice, and make the 120 ft tall column of ice into the shape of a Colossal phallus. Now for the hard part. Start casting LOTS of ice to flesh. Since you can only affect a 3feet by 10 feet cylinder, we'll be casting it a ton of times. Make a wand if you like, to speed things up. otherwise it'll take a long time. ANYHOO, once you are standing on a massive, quivering pile of corpse-c**k chisel out some eyeholes or something on top, shove in a couple of onyx's, cast animate dead and there you go, Colossal zombie phallus slithering around at your command. Think of the fear and awe it will inspire!!

Reel On, Love
2007-08-26, 06:06 AM

2007-08-26, 06:08 AM
While I am laughing, I am still wondering why you posted something like this on a PG rated board, and thinking about how long it will take this thread to get locked/scrubbed/deleted.

Also, I worry about people who actually come up with ideas like that.

2007-08-26, 06:39 AM
Could someone please edit the thread title so that I don't have to see the words "giant zombie dongs" in all caps every time I look at the forum?

2007-08-26, 06:40 AM
Think of the fear and awe it will inspire!!I think people would be too busy giggling.

2007-08-26, 08:21 AM
Compensating much?

2007-08-26, 08:53 AM
Ok fedaykin there you go. And just so you know in future, caps lock is the cruise control setting for coolness!

Roland St. Jude
2007-08-26, 12:06 PM
Sheriff: This isn't really appropriate here.