Help me come up with magic items you don't want to loot

[Squiddish]

The party's resident looters, the Cleric and the Rogue, are attempting to loot the laboratory of an artificer. Needless to say, just about everything in there will have some horrible side effects. The DM and the more sane members of the party have come up with some ideas for magic items, but we need more. Can you help us come up with some more magic items that would be outright harmful to steal?

[Arkhios]

Cursed items with embarrassing side-effects come to mind. Nothing explicitly harmful, but something that would make them think twice the next time. Just like the classic belt that, when worn, changes your gender permanently (until you remove the belt, which of course would require a Remove Curse or something).

[hymer]

A potion of cleanliness. It's what necromancers make people drink when they want to make nice, clean skeletons out of them, rather than potentially stinky zombies. People's flesh melts away and evaporates, leaving just the bones unharmed.

A blue dragon's sword. It deals 2d8 lightning damage every round to anyone holding it or carrying it, and allows those attuned to it to take the form of a particular humanoid, while retaining the special qualities and mental stats of the original form. The sword also has some other magic, like +1 or some additional lightning damage on striking.

A haunted amulet. The maddened spirit of a derro magician who created the amulet resides inside. It was meant to be an amulet that allowed him to cast invisibility without concentrating on it, by making a spirit in the amulet do the concentrating. The artificer was supposed to be the spirit, but he won the encounter and banished the derro to his own amulet. Now the derro will attempt to take over anyone who wears the amulet, though he can be made to concentrate on an invisibility spell as long as the dice are on the wearer's side. When it no longer is, the derro and the wearer will change places.
The amulet can be exorcised, but this will render it nonmagical.

[Ninja_Prawn]

Ah, one of my old favourites might be suitable for this. It's not harmful, but it would be a good slap on the wrist to looters.

Nymph Cloak
Wondrous item, rare (requires attunement)

This silky, iridescent cloak is made by a dryad, oread or undine out of their own hair. They take great time and effort to make, so it is a great honour to receive one. Your Charisma score is 21 while you wear this cloak. It has no effect on you if your Charisma is already 21 or higher.
If the cloak is stolen or taken by force, it loses its magic and turns into a threadbare, grey rag.
You could also cover everything in glyphs of warding... :smallamused:

[Nidgit]

You can modify existing magic items to make them less appealing and a bit defective. For instance, Boots of Striding and Springing that only allow you to move exactly 30 feet per step. Increases your speed by a lot but makes precision impossible. Maybe a Carpet of Flying that wraps the rider up like a sushi roll and flies them around immobile.

If you're looking for something more inimical, what about some Eyes of Minute Seeing that do allow you to see things within 1 foot much better but shrink your eyes in the process and make your vision 10 feet?

[Tiadoppler]

Ioun Stone of Limitless Concussion:
A cursed Ioun Stone that has a poorly enchanted orbit. Every hour the Ioun stone bonks into the attuned creature's head dealing 1d4 nonlethal bludgeoning damage.

Automatic Light Orb:
Whenever any creature attempts to look at anything near the Automatic Light Orb, the Orb activates, shedding bright light for 5' and dim light a further 5'. When nobody is looking, the Orb deactivates. Great for refrigerators, not so great for stealth.

Targeting Carrot:
This cursed root vegetable hovers over the attuned creature's head, attracting the attention and ire of all horses, donkeys, mules and similar herbivorous domesticated animals. You are attacked on sight by most barnyard animals.

Scanning Thaumic Particle Microscope:
Valuable, efficient, effective, this is an amazingly powerful tool for any artificer doing research into the field of nanoarcana. It is a cube 30' on a side, weighing roughly two hundred tons. It is immensely fragile and cannot be moved without knocking the scanning matrices out of alignment. Value: 500,000gp. AC 2. HP 1.

[Sariel Vailo]

Amulet of enhanced "beauty" makes females more beautiful busty gives advantage on all charisma checks but once a day must strip down the gods would be mad to cover up this beauty.
If male he's to sexy for his shirt and does a performance to explain exactly how sexy he is

[Dudewithknives]

I once had a +1 sword of grime.

It was a normal sword, rapier to be exact, but every time you attack with it, whether you hit or not the sword used prestidigitation soil you.

[Majin]

Rod of Holding. Once you grab it, you just can't stop holding it in your hand.

[Caelic]

Ring of Gaseous Form: This ring was one of the artificer's first experiments. Unfortunately, he didn't think it through, and it nearly killed him. After being rescued by a colleague, he tossed it in a box, never to be used again--or so he thought.

When you don the ring and speak the command word, you assume Gaseous Form. Reverting to normal form is just as simple: remove the ring, or speak the command word again.

Unfortunately, as the artificer discovered to his dismay, removing the ring and speaking are impossible while in gaseous form.

[Davrix]

Rod of Holding. Once you grab it, you just can't stop holding it in your hand.

This

Here is an item I gave to the parties bard when he kept being a loot well you know. That and he kept trying to sleep with every damn women he could find and stomp over every other player in his need to get laid. So yea this was sort of my revenge sense he had pissed off the local temple that was mainly women so not a single one would cast remove curse and the party cleric was to busy laughing and buying him more drinks as revenge for all the times he had hit on her. >.> I think he got the hint though because after am month I finally let him take it off and he was much nicer to women and stopped trying to be in the spotlight every single moment.

Dwarvish Beer napkin (cloak)

Gives advantage to Con sv

Cursed item
While wearing the cloak you always smell like a drunk who hasn't showered in a week and who has spent the past three nights in cheap taverns. Lowers your char score to 8

You have a constant splitting headache and feel tipsy as if under the effects of heavy drink. It gives you disadvantage on all perception checks but advantage on all acrobatics checks.

The cloak compels you to consume your own body weight in booze each day.

The longer you wear the cloak the more surly and aggressive you become.

[Mikal]

The party's resident looters, the Cleric and the Rogue, are attempting to loot the laboratory of an artificer. Needless to say, just about everything in there will have some horrible side effects. The DM and the more sane members of the party have come up with some ideas for magic items, but we need more. Can you help us come up with some more magic items that would be outright harmful to steal?

So is there a LOGICAL reason that this artificer stocks his lab full of items that have horrible side effects, or are you just being a jerk?

[ImproperJustice]

Staff of Mimicry: It’s a mimic

Sword of Infinite Knowledge(self titled): Sword with a mouth in the pommel that speaks. Makes whatever promises are nescessary to get players to feed it gems (the more valuable the better), to reveal great secrets or display awesome powers. It can cast Prestidigitation and Minor Illusion in order to be more convincing. It actually knows nothing and was designed as an object lesson for a greedy young mage. Also known as the Kickstarter Blade or “Isafune’s Edge”.

Stick of trap detection: A talking stick that can detect traps in a 30’ radius. Does so by speaking loudly to the PCs. Gets lonely and doesn’t want to be put in anyone’s pack and will make quite a ruckus if it’s not held. It says it has a misson and wants to be planted somewhere on the opposite side of the earth.

[Jamesps]

So is there a LOGICAL reason that this artificer stocks his lab full of items that have horrible side effects, or are you just being a jerk?

The traditional reason for this is that they're not "stock" but rather they're experiments that didn't go so well. There's a wide variety of reasons to keep a failed experiment around. To study it, sentimentality, laziness (disposing of magic items might be an involved process), or even specifically for the purpose of discouraging looters.

[DarkKnightJin]

If any of them are fond of booze.. Might I suggest a cursed Tankard of Sobriety?
They can only drink out of that tankard. And in the Artificer's quest for improvement, he's made it stronger too. It'll neutralize the buzz from ANY alcohol, magic or no.
Could make it a flagon that smells of the best booze money can buy.. Just to tempt them some more.

[Avonar]

I like the idea (taken from White Plume Mountain) of an apparently powerful item that tries to get the party to compete and fight over it. Only for it to be useless.

[SMac8988]

I am using an idea in my game right now of a rotting flash golume held to a wall by an enchanted sword. Knowing one of my players that thing is coming out in seconds to examine. The sword, which is magic, puts the beast in a eternal sleep, which is now ended.

Guess who's gonna get punched in the face by a flesh golume.

This can be scaled based of level as well, using other creatures or whats.

[Dr. Cliché]

Hawlin's Dagger of Perpetual Flatulence. Is a +2 dagger, but gives the user Disadvantage on all Stealth and Charisma checks.

Ring of Trap Detection. This small ring, cast in the shape of an open mouth, automatically detects traps (both magical and mundane) within 20ft of the wearer. Whenever one or more traps is detected, the ring announces "ALERT! ALERT! TRAP DETECTED!" The ring offers no information about the nature or location of the traps it detects.
If the ring detects no traps within 20ft, it instead announces "NO TRAPS DETECTED! NO TRAPS DETECTED!"

Rod of Disintegration. This rod has 10 charges that refresh each day at dawn. As an action, a user can expend a charge to cause the Rod to cast Disintegrate on itself.

Orb of Chaos (Requires Attunement). So long as the orb is held by an attuned creature, whenever a creature within 60ft casts a spell that targets one or more creatures or attempts to attack one or more creatures, the target(s) of the spell or attack are decided at random. The creature holding the orb may roll twice to determine each of his targets and pick one of the rolls.

Torin's Trapped Fireball (Requires Attunement). This small orb is actually a Delayed Blast Fireball, locked in time. The ball is still hot, and will inflict 1d6 fire damage each turn to anyone attempting to hold or carry it. It will also set fire to any flammable materials put into contact with it. In addition, the spell keeping the orb locked in time is not entirely stable - any time the orb is touched or moved, there is a 5% chance it will explode instantly (see below). The orb may be moved by gentle pressure or strong winds, but will otherwise remain wherever it is placed - including thin air.

As a bonus action, when within 90ft of the orb, the Attuned creature may speak a command word and cause the orb to instantly detonate. It functions exactly as the Delayed Blast Fireball spell, except that the DC is 20 and it always inflicts 18d6 damage.

[Callin]

Mechanical Parrot Very Rare (Attunement)

This functions as a Parrot summoned from the Find Familiar Ritual. During a Short Rest you can rebuild it if it is ever Destroyed. While attuned to the Parrot you can not Unattune to it in anyway short of Remove Curse.

The Parrot functions in all ways as a Familiar and Luckstone. The Drawback is that the Parrot Constantly Talks and is audible up to 50ft away as if someone is talking in a slightly loud voice. You can stop the Parrot from talking for 2 rounds but lose the benefit of the Luckstone Property until you finish a Short Rest to appease it because its upset with you. You can NOT put the Parrot away into the Dimensional Pocket like a Normal Familiar. You lose the benefit of the Luckstone if the Parrot is killed.

[Squiddish]

So is there a LOGICAL reason that this artificer stocks his lab full of items that have horrible side effects, or are you just being a jerk?

She is pretty much a mad scientist who happens to use magic in addition to science. She invented a ring that was supposed to allow the wearer to detach their hand and control it separately, but when the cleric tested it it made his entire arm disappear up to the shoulder. She was given three corpses to perform autopsies, left one out for a week, and then used the mutated maggots she found inside to make a potion.

[Kane0]

Good ol' Bag of Devouring

[Throne12]

Cursed items with embarrassing side-effects come to mind. Nothing explicitly harmful, but something that would make them think twice the next time. Just like the classic belt that, when worn, changes your gender permanently (until you remove the belt, which of course would require a Remove Curse or something).

How is that bad? I can see that useful. Guards will be looking for a man or woman and now your the opposite gender.

[nickl_2000]

How is that bad? I can see that useful. Guards will be looking for a man or woman and now your the opposite gender.

Most "cursed" items are actually incredibly useful IF you know about them and what they do. The dust of sneezing is amazing if you use it in the right situation.

[Throne12]

Health potion of zit growing
This potion was created as a cure to zits. But the Chemical formula was off and had the Oppposite effect. When some drinks this potion that looks and taste just like a healing potion. The potion heal 3d4+2. After drinking it the creature starts growing Abnormally large zits and pimples. You have a -4 to all Charisma checks for the next 24 hours.

[Zman]

Potion of the lycanthrope. Drinker gains the curse of lycanthropy and becomes a werewolf, alignment change probably means they lose their character or have to fight the curse.

Obviously created after dissecting and studying a lycanthrope. To avoid character loss you can also have vials of a lycanthrope antidote, isn’t a cure, but causes them to be poisoned(condition) to resist the monthly change. Character is constantly fighting the curse and is occasionally debilitated because of their looting and carelessness.

[OldTrees1]

+1 Chainmail

[nickl_2000]

+1 Chainmail

To go along with that +1 Leather.

[Dr. Cliché]

Potion of the lycanthrope. Drinker gains the curse of lycanthropy and becomes a werewolf, alignment change probably means they lose their character or have to fight the curse.

My version would be:

Potion of Lycanthropy. The person who imbibes this potion believes beyond all doubt that he is a lycanthrope. During each full moon, the afflicted creature will believe that they have transformed into a fearsome werewolf and will act accordingly.

However, the individual never actually transforms or gains any of the benefits of lycanthropy. Nor are they able to turn other creatures into lycanthropes with a successful bite. When transformed, they will see themselves as a werewolf, including in all reflective surfaces and will rationalise away any consequences of their not actually being a werewolf.

The creature may never embrace the curse and always count as resisting it (see MM p206-207).

This effect may be ended by a Wish spell or by several years of confinement and therapy.


(Feel free to substitute any other type of lycanthrope.)

[SirGraystone]

Gave my BBEG Blackrazor, a sentient Greatsword +3, able to cast haste on its wielder, drain soul on kill to also increase the power of the wielder. Of course that sword only goal is too kill as many peoples as possible. None of players wanted to take it, they are all scare of it :smallbiggrin:

[Arkhios]

To go along with that +1 Leather.

+1 Padded armor would be even worse.

[nickl_2000]

+1 Padded armor would be even worse.

Solid point.


Also, any magical item that requires alignment restrictions that match none of the PCs

[Vogie]

I remember there was a cursed Axe from one of the 2nd Ed modules that I thought was hysterical. If you tried to get rid of it, it'd appear in your belt, if you draw any weapon, the axe would appear in your hand instead.

It sounds like a perfect object that someone would have made accidentally while trying to re-create the "Called" weapon property from 3.P

[Slayn82]

A suit of plate armor enchanted with constant Heat Metal. It's the initial stage of the construction of an Iron Golem.

.........

Mirror of Decay - this mirror was supposed to reveal the true appearance of disguised undead. Instead, it shows everyone and everything reflected on its surface on a state of advanced decay, making it impossible to actually use it to go around discovering undead (It also shows the true appearance of the disguised undead, but so far only a vampire has made that serendipitous discovery). Looking at it for too long (1+ hour) may cause disturbing nightmares.

.........

Tapeworm of Immunity (requires attunement) - this is a 1 feet tapeworm is a living creature extracted from Gods know where, kept in suspended animation in a glass jar full of spirits. Some occultists say that tapeworms like those, after receiving alchemical treatments, can protect their host from nocive agents like diseases and poisons.

After consuming the Tapeworm of Immunity, the living host is automatically attuned to it after his next short or long rest. This can't be removed as long as the Tapeworm of Immunity is alive on the host. The host receives advantage in all his constitution checks against ingested poisons and diseases.

Tapeworms of Immunity can be cultivated by anyone with proficiency on alchemy or nature, and enough guts to do so. A creature can benefit only from a single Tapeworm of Immunity at any given time. Removal of the Tapeworm of Immunity requires the use of special herbs or a Cure Disease spell, and destroys it, releasing the attuned slot.

There are rumors of the existence of Greater Tapeworms of Immunity, able to develop intelligence and speak telepathically with its host, giving some measure of defense against mind effects. It's said those creatures are natural enemies of mind flayers.

[Callin]

I was eating while reading about the Tapeworm.... Ugh. Still that is an AWESOME item and yea I would never use it.

[Kuulvheysoon]

A suit of plate armor enchanted with constant Heat Metal. It's the initial stage of the construction of an Iron Golem.

.........

Mirror of Decay - this mirror was supposed to reveal the true appearance of disguised undead. Instead, it shows everyone and everything reflected on its surface on a state of advanced decay, making it impossible to actually use it to go around discovering undead (It also shows the true appearance of the disguised undead, but so far only a vampire has made that serendipitous discovery). Looking at it for too long (1+ hour) may cause disturbing nightmares.


According to the default lore of 5e, Vampires don't cast shadows or reflections. So it's actually useless! :smalltongue:

[Slayn82]

I was eating while reading about the Tapeworm.... Ugh. Still that is an AWESOME item and yea I would never use it.

Thank you, and sorry for your appetite.


According to the default lore of 5e, Vampires don't cast shadows or reflections. So it's actually useless! :smalltongue:

Exception trumps over the general rule. Actually, unlike normal mirrors, this one shows vampires and other forms of undead creatures as moving, decayed corpses. It also does the same for living people, and everything else that can be affected by decay - showing soilded, rotten clothing and furniture, decayed plants, barren earth, and when used on open places, grey fog covers everything.

The spell must have taken a wrong turn at the plane of Negative Energy and ended up in Sillent Hill.

-------------

Also, can I interest anyone on the Troll Bones of Eternal Broth? They are Troll Bones, with carved runes that allow the marrow to seep through. You can use them as stock to make soup. Unlike a Spoon of Murlynd, you have to do some cooking, but the food produced actually tastes better (somewhat reminiscent of chicken). You can provide portions of nutritive soup, able to supply medium sized creature food demands, up to 3x per day, for up to 6 medium creatures.

[Squiddish]

Potion of the lycanthrope. Drinker gains the curse of lycanthropy and becomes a werewolf, alignment change probably means they lose their character or have to fight the curse.

Obviously created after dissecting and studying a lycanthrope. To avoid character loss you can also have vials of a lycanthrope antidote, isn’t a cure, but causes them to be poisoned(condition) to resist the monthly change. Character is constantly fighting the curse and is occasionally debilitated because of their looting and carelessness.


My version would be:

Potion of Lycanthropy. The person who imbibes this potion believes beyond all doubt that he is a lycanthrope. During each full moon, the afflicted creature will believe that they have transformed into a fearsome werewolf and will act accordingly.

However, the individual never actually transforms or gains any of the benefits of lycanthropy. Nor are they able to turn other creatures into lycanthropes with a successful bite. When transformed, they will see themselves as a werewolf, including in all reflective surfaces and will rationalise away any consequences of their not actually being a werewolf.

The creature may never embrace the curse and always count as resisting it (see MM p206-207).

This effect may be ended by a Wish spell or by several years of confinement and therapy.


(Feel free to substitute any other type of lycanthrope.)

Problem: The party warlock has been trying to become a werewolf for the entire time, up to and including jamming the teeth of an unconscious werewolf into his arm.

[Angelalex242]

Potion of Blood:

Drinking this potion turns you into a vampire.

Your alignment does not change immediately, but you must make a DC 8 Wisdom Save if presented with an opportunity to do evil to avoid the bloodlust of your new form. You make this save with disadvantage if you are hungry.

(A Ravenloft style item, the idea of the low save is that the degeneration is slow, gradually turning the character into a monster...)

[Squiddish]

Potion of Blood:

Drinking this potion turns you into a vampire.

Your alignment does not change immediately, but you must make a DC 8 Wisdom Save if presented with an opportunity to do evil to avoid the bloodlust of your new form. You make this save with disadvantage if you are hungry.

(A Ravenloft style item, the idea of the low save is that the degeneration is slow, gradually turning the character into a monster...)

Coincidentally, we are in Ravenloft.

[Oerlaf]

Blood-Crazed Weapon
Weapon (any), rare

While you are wielding this weapon, you gain a +2 bonus on attack and damage rolls.
Cursed Item. If you score a critical hit or deal maximum damage with this weapon in an encounter, you trigger the curse. While the curse is active, if the weapon is not used in an attack that slays an enemy before the end of the encounter, the encounter continues and you must attack the nearest ally at the end of each of your turns or take 7 (2d4+2) necrotic damage. You may attempt a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw at the end of its turns to deactivate the curse... for now, at least.

[Lord Vukodlak]

Good ol' Bag of Devouring

You're kidding me right? Its a great garbage disposal and if you for whatever reason need to dispose of a body it works perfectly.You can make a trap with it to catch thieves... well not so much catch but dispose of.

[polymphus]

I really like that College of Satire mind-reading thing and some variation of it could be a funny curse.

Like, a Helm of Telepathy but every time the target passes their Wis save, the wearer immediately farts, belches, or commits an embarrassing social gaffe.

[Dr. Cliché]

Problem: The party warlock has been trying to become a werewolf for the entire time, up to and including jamming the teeth of an unconscious werewolf into his arm.

Why is that a problem? Give him my potion and let him embarrass himself, running around naked each full moon, trying to run on all fours and such, under the delusion that he's a werewolf (which he isn't).

Incidentally, I love the idea of him trying to get an unconscious werewolf to bite his arm. :smallbiggrin: