Can of Troll

[Olbaidhh]

Over lunch today a fellow gamer and I were trying to figure out a creative way to have an endless supply of food, after some discussion we settled on - Can of Troll.

The general plan...

1. Find Container - Iron Flask, modified Efreeti bottle, etc. something to hold a troll alive.
2. Figure out the best way to shrink troll into can, and resize out of can. Possibly modded Efreeti bottle.
3. Catch a troll - easier said than done.
4. Chop off arms and cauterize the wounds so they do not grow back - no claws kitty.
5. Head cage for troll- no biting, bad troll!
6. Occasionally feed the troll scraps, it does have to stay alive after all.
7. When hungry- sever leg or portion of leg depending on appetite - it will grow back.
8. Cook until desired rarity, enjoy.

Troll legs boiled, served over rice or a in soup. mmm, mmm, good, Campbell's aint got nothing on that.

Please feel free to come up with creative ways to make this possible- have fun!

[the_brazenburn]

Yes, very funny and creative.

Only one problem:

Troll tastes awful!

It's like a swampgrass flavor mixed with rotting fish.

Not to mention the fact that the flask will probably be full of troll crap after about three days...

Also, I don't think feeding it scraps will work. As far as I can tell, the scraps will turn into tiny, tiny scraps proportional to the troll when you put it into the flask.

Otherwise, great idea!

[PrismCat21]

I fully support PC's eating troll.
The DM will have a lot of fun describing what's happening to you insides. The bits of troll will regenerate while inside of you, growing larger and larger, and eventually bursting open your stomach. Perhaps since you permanently shrunk the troll, the pieces will grow back into shrunken trolls in your belly, ripping you apart from the inside. :D

Have fun. Tel us how it goes.

[Biggstick]

Be a 5th level Cleric. Prepare Create Food and Water.

While not endless, it's enough to get your standard adventuring party through the day for a single third level slot.

Extra flavor is that the spell doesn't actually describe what the food is other then the fact that it's "bland but nourishing, and spoils if uneaten after 24 hours." This means you can have the food created be 45 pounds of cupcakes if you want. They'll be bland, but they'll be cupcakes nonetheless. In addition to the Create Food and Water spell, get someone with Prestidigitation, and flavor the food however you want it to be flavored.

So there you have it. With a third level spell slot and a cantrip, you can have great tasting food every day for your standard adventuring party.

[Olbaidhh]

Yes, very funny and creative.

Only one problem:

Troll tastes awful!

It's like a swampgrass flavor mixed with rotting fish.

Not to mention the fact that the flask will probably be full of troll crap after about three days...

Also, I don't think feeding it scraps will work. As far as I can tell, the scraps will turn into tiny, tiny scraps proportional to the troll when you put it into the flask.

Otherwise, great idea!

You would have to feed it out of the bottle. The poo could be an issue or add to the flavor.

[Tiadoppler]

I fully support PC's eating troll.
The DM will have a lot of fun describing what's happening to you insides. The bits of troll will regenerate while inside of you, growing larger and larger, and eventually bursting open your stomach. Perhaps since you permanently shrunk the troll, the pieces will grow back into shrunken trolls in your belly, ripping you apart from the inside. :D

Have fun. Tel us how it goes.

Only if the PCs are eating the trollbits raw (as in not cooked, as in not applied to Fire) and don't have a digestive system (as in stomach acid, as in Acid).

Food preparation is practically designed to keep trolls from regenerating inside your body :D



How about a bag of holding full of dirt, seeds and a magic light source? Use it as a vegetable garden (my current campaign has a few vegetarian PCs*).

*but strangely no vegetarian players

[Sigreid]

In Storm Kings Thunder there's a section on the bad things that happen to giants that eat trolls.

[Biggstick]

In Storm Kings Thunder there's a section on the bad things that happen to giants that eat trolls.

Are you sure that's not Volo's and it's reference to Frost Giants?

[Sigreid]

Are you sure that's not Volo's and it's reference to Frost Giants?

Might be. /shrug.

[Davrix]

Better idea.

Party raids wizards lab and on the bench is Can-O-Troll

Its about the size of a soup can, whats the harm eh :)

Open up. HUGE TROLL IN FACE

mwuahahahah

[sir_argo]

RuneQuest (if you remember that game) had Walktapus biscuits. Walktapus looked kinda like mindflayers, but their heads were an entire octopus. They had regeneration. Clever alchemists figured out how to make a biscuit out of a captured walktapus and size the biscuit just right for the person who would eat it. The person would swallow the biscuit whole. The biscuit would stay in the person's stomach where the stomach acid would digest the walktapus biscuit at the same rate that it regenerated. The person would never have to eat again. Only one problem... if they made an error in the measurement and made the biscuit a tad too big, the walktapus would regrow completely inside you and explode out of your body kinda like the monster in the Alien movies.

Just thought I'd share.

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-nltVT8x7kSc/Veqwh1s5ttI/AAAAAAAADu4/HYMhlQWc71k/s640/blogger-image-1004091762.jpg

[Sigreid]

RuneQuest (if you remember that game) had Walktapus biscuits. Walktapus looked kinda like mindflayers, but their heads were an entire octopus. They had regeneration. Clever alchemists figured out how to make a biscuit out of a captured walktapus and size the biscuit just right for the person who would eat it. The person would swallow the biscuit whole. The biscuit would stay in the person's stomach where the stomach acid would digest the walktapus biscuit at the same rate that it regenerated. The person would never have to eat again. Only one problem... if they made an error in the measurement and made the biscuit a tad too big, the walktapus would regrow completely inside you and explode out of your body kinda like the monster in the Alien movies.

Just thought I'd share.


Runequest had some great weird in it. Pretty great game too.

[oxybe]

Trollgut sausages sounds like a great low-level "quality of life" magic item: A length of twelve large cured sausages that, while they don't taste particularly good (largely of salt and strong spices), will regenerate one every two hours until the dozen are back and can provide both nutrition and slightly boost your daily healing.

[Contrast]

Be a 5th level Cleric. Prepare Create Food and Water.

Or a first level Druid/Ranger with Goodberry. As you say Prestidigitation is the best solution though - buy the cheapest long lasting rations you can that'll keep you healthy and then just flavour them up as delicious :smallbiggrin:

[Vaz]

Yes, very funny and creative.

Only one problem:

Troll tastes awful!

It's like a swampgrass flavor mixed with rotting fish.

Not to mention the fact that the flask will probably be full of troll crap after about three days...

Also, I don't think feeding it scraps will work. As far as I can tell, the scraps will turn into tiny, tiny scraps proportional to the troll when you put it into the flask.

Otherwise, great idea!

Prestidigitation.

[Joe the Rat]

Had an aspiring alchemist that killed a troll and threw the biggest non-cooked part in his bag of holding for later experimentation.
Three days later, he opens the bag and a troll arm reaches out to grab him.

[SirGraystone]

I remember a short story I read a long time ago about a dwarf bounty hunter that went into an elf village, killed someone there then left, maybe 100 years later, the elf's children caught up with him when he was retired and no one saw him again, but for time to time an arm or leg of the dwarf would show up on his doorstep. So far they found 14 legs and 21 arms... a ring of regeneration can be a terrible thing.

[Typhon]

I remember a short story I read a long time ago about a dwarf bounty hunter that went into an elf village, killed someone there then left, maybe 100 years later, the elf's children caught up with him when he was retired and no one saw him again, but for time to time an arm or leg of the dwarf would show up on his doorstep. So far they found 14 legs and 21 arms... a ring of regeneration can be a terrible thing.

The complete book of elves from 2nd Ed. It was supposedly a myth warning of elven vengeance.

[Tanarii]

Better idea.

Party raids wizards lab and on the bench is Can-O-Troll

Its about the size of a soup can, whats the harm eh :)

Open up. HUGE TROLL IN FACE

mwuahahahah
OMG the Can of Trolling is going into one of my adventures as a trap now! Clearly labeled as such, with a pull tab to open. Radiates magic, identify merely tells you it's an enhanced "Reduce" spell. :smallbiggrin:

[Olbaidhh]

Only if the PCs are eating the trollbits raw (as in not cooked, as in not applied to Fire) and don't have a digestive system (as in stomach acid, as in Acid).

Food preparation is practically designed to keep trolls from regenerating inside your body :D

*but strangely no vegetarian players


Perfect, that should do it!

[Slayn82]

Prestidigitation.

I'm visualizing a Chef going to a village, preparing a dough of Troll meat before everyone, frying it, and casting prestidigitation to flavor it, then asking: "any takers ?"

And then a bunch of children going ahead, eating it and going "Hum, delicious..."

[Afrodactyl]

Trollgut sausages sounds like a great low-level "quality of life" magic item: A length of twelve large cured sausages that, while they don't taste particularly good (largely of salt and strong spices), will regenerate one every two hours until the dozen are back and can provide both nutrition and slightly boost your daily healing.

Definitely using this.

[Biggstick]

Or a first level Druid/Ranger with Goodberry. As you say Prestidigitation is the best solution though - buy the cheapest long lasting rations you can that'll keep you healthy and then just flavour them up as delicious :smallbiggrin:

While Goodberry provides necessary nutrients needed for a day, I wouldn't call it food in the manner that the OP is asking for. That's purely my interpretation though, and might be different then what everyone else thinks.

But yes, Prestidigiation should be something that every person who wants something they cook to taste good regardless of how well it's cooked.

[kingheff1]

Reminds me of grom the paunch from warhammer
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Grom_the_Paunch

[Lord8Ball]

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/164/397/129140515597116881.jpg

[oxybe]

Definitely using this.

Please do!