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View Full Version : D&D 5e/Next Pact of the Fathomless One (Warlock Patron)



HikerChris
2018-02-15, 11:30 PM
I always loved warlocks, and the grand scope of the things to make a pact with is absolutely beautiful. For this, I wanted to make a pact that someone could make with Dagon, but The Great Old One didn't fit it exactly. This one I think could be used interchangeably, but I don't think it is perfect. Please help with all the critique you deem necessary.

Pact of the Fathomless One - Your patron is a powerful being of the sea, a creature whose very existence is as mysterious as the waters they lie in. You have bound yourself to a Kraken, or an ancient being of the sea, such as Dagon. Such beings would never trifle with the likes of you, but most have a dark, world altering desire strong enough to be desperate as to make a deal.

Expanded Spell List
The Deep lets you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a warlock spell. The following spells are added to the warlock spell list for you.
1st - Create or Destroy Water, Fog Cloud
2nd - Moonbeam, Silence
3rd - Tidal Wave, Wall of Water
4th - Control Water, Watery Sphere
5th - Maelstrom, Control Winds

Unbearable Isolation - Beginning at 1st level, you can cause other creatures to cower as you invoke the petrifying fear of the isolation one has while in the middle of the sea. As an action, you can cause creatures of your choosing within a 30-foot radius originating from you to make a Charisma saving throw against your warlock spell save DC. The creatures that fail their saving throws are knocked prone, and have their speed halved until the end of your next turn.
Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

One With the Water - Beginning at 6th level, your patron has accepted you as bearable company. You can now breathe and turn invisible while underwater.

Sea Breeze - At 10th level, whenever you are subject to an effect that requires you to make a Dexterity saving throw, you can use your reaction to instantly dissolve into a mist and reappear at an unoccupied location with 30 feet, negating the effect.
Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

Bottomless Pit of the Sea - At 14th level, you embrace the darkness that lies in the abyss of the oceans. When using your Unbearable Isolation feature, the targets become Stunned, as well as being able to cast the Darkness spell at will.

Fire Tarrasque
2018-02-17, 04:13 PM
The capstone is a bit underwhelming when compared to something like Hurl Through Hell and it's like, seeing as it's just a minor improvement too your starting ability and darkness. Lengthen the duration? I'm not sure.
It also has nothing too do with fear, so why exactly do you describe it as "Fear of being alone in the middle of the ocean" when the ability knocks people over?
I also appreciate the pun.

Requilac
2018-02-17, 08:47 PM
Expanded Spell List
The Deep lets you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a warlock spell. The following spells are added to the warlock spell list for you.
1st - Create or Destroy Water, Fog Cloud
2nd - Moonbeam, Silence
3rd - Tidal Wave, Wall of Water
4th - Control Water, Watery Sphere
5th - Maelstrom, Control Winds



What is with your second level spells? Where did moon beam come from especially? Everything looks good here except for those two slightly out of place spells. Perhaps blur, darkness , dark vision, gust of wind or mirror image may work better.




Unbearable Isolation - Beginning at 1st level, you can cause other creatures to cower as you invoke the petrifying fear of the isolation one has while in the middle of the sea. As an action, you can cause creatures of your choosing within a 30-foot radius originating from you to make a Charisma saving throw against your warlock spell save DC. The creatures that fail their saving throws are knocked prone, and have their speed halved until the end of your next turn.
Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

This is really rather underwhelming and the mechanics do not really match up with the description. If you like the fluff of it then I would personally change the condition to frightened or something of the like. If you like the crunch then you should probably just have it drop a creature’s speed to 0. If you would like to combine them, the. Why don’t you make it so that an effected target is frightened, drops prone from sheer panic and has its movement dropped to 0 as it is crippled by fear? It’s current form is really weak.



One With the Water - Beginning at 6th level, your patron has accepted you as bearable company. You can now breathe and turn invisible while underwater.

This feature is really vague and hard to understand. You should probably specify that they gain a swimming speed and the ability to breathe underwater. Granting resistance to cold damage is also a good ribbon to add in that makes sense too (ocean cam get pretty cold after all, and cold damage is associated with the water element). And you need to better define the invisibility part. What action do you take to trigger it? How long does it last for? Can you still attack without it ending. I would reword the feature like this.

You gain a swimming speed equal to your walking speed and gain the ability to breathe underwater. Also, you have resistance to cold damage and bludgeoning damage caused by underwater pressure.

In addition to that, whenever you are underwater you may choose to become invisible at any time (no action required). This last until you either decide to become visible (no action required) or if any of your body rises above the surface of the water you are currently in.




Sea Breeze - At 10th level, whenever you are subject to an effect that requires you to make a Dexterity saving throw, you can use your reaction to instantly dissolve into a mist and reappear at an unoccupied location with 30 feet, negating the effect.
Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

I would make it so that you can use this whenever you are targeted by a Strength and Constitution saving throw you can use this feature, but that is a secondary concern. My main concern is with how this feature works. If you teleport into a space where the effect would still harm you, is the condition still negated? It says any unoccupied location, and that the effect is negated so by RAW you could actually become closer to the target and still within the area of effect but still be unharmed. Is that your intention? If not, I would clarify.





Bottomless Pit of the Sea - At 14th level, you embrace the darkness that lies in the abyss of the oceans. When using your Unbearable Isolation feature, the targets become Stunned, as well as being able to cast the Darkness spell at will.

By being able to cast darkness at will I assume that doing so does not expend a spell slot or require material components, correct. Otherwise it seems fine. I would make the condition paralyzed instead so that it compares with the other warlock capstones, but that is just my opinion.