Team Ready, Aim, Fire! VII

[Lord Herman]

Hello, and welcome to the seventh game of the team-based spin-off of Silkenfist's Ready, Aim, Fire!

The theme for this game will be Starcraft. For the first time, Team RAF will feature three teams instead of two: you can choose between Terrans, Protoss, and Zerg. The game will be set somewhere after the events of Brood War, so you can play as one of the new Starcraft 2 units.

Registration is open until Friday, 18:00 GMT. If you want to join a specific team, please specify which one. If you don't specify a team, I will add you to a random team.

The Rules:
The rules are like those of the standard game (linky!), with a few additions:
1. The players are divided into two or more teams.
1a. At recruitment, the players specify their preferred team.
1b. Players who don't specify a team will be placed in a random team.
1c. If one team has more members than the other(s), I will randomly move players around. I'll first try to even it out with the players who didn't specify a team.
2. You can not shoot players on your own team.
3. If your team is the only one left standing, you win. There are no individual victories in this game - only victories as a team.

There are also some rules that aren't critical to the gameplay but are important nonetheless:
1. You can only send one action at a time. You can't send actions in advance.
2. The sign-up period is four days, and each round takes three days.
3. When there are only a few players left, each round takes only two days, or sometimes even one. Usually, I just wait for everyone to submit their action and then write the round as soon as possible.
Previous Games:
I - The Trojan War - Winner: Trojans
II - Star Wars - Winner: Rebels
III - Superheroes - Winner: Heroes
IV - Pirates - Winner: Navy
V - Samurai - Winner: Ninja
VI - Romans - Winner: Romans
The Auto-Notify List:
Akaziel
Almighty Salmon
Baboon Army
Captain van der Decken
DarkCorax
DarkLightDragon
Destro Yersul
Dr. Bath
Draken
dun-dun-DUUN
Ezlo
Firepup
Fleeing Coward
Fredricus
HyramGraff
Ink
Kasz
Khaldan
Mad Wizard
purple gelatinous cube o' Doom
radikalskippy
Raiser B1ade
Shadow
Stu42
Vampiric
weebl

If you want to be added to the list, just post here and ask. Remember, you'll still have to register for the game - people on the list just get a PM to notify them that registration has started.
For a list of trophies and their winners, go here (http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/Gallery/TeamRAF.html).

[banjo1985]

Sign me straight up!

I know bugger all about Starcraft though, so stick me in whichever team needs evening up.

[Raiser Blade]

Zergling rush FTW

anyways im in on zerg team

[Fredricus]

It's been long since a played Starcraft... My favourites was the zerg, never played brood wars thou.

Put me into either Zerg(hydralisk, those slithering spitters that can burrough) or Terrans(Marine, You wanna 'piece of me boy?)

[Vampiric]

Protoss zealot (http://eu.starcraft2.com/features/protoss/). Gotta love the energy swords... And the heeeeuuuugggee mothership.:smallbiggrin:

[Destro_Yersul]

Protoss for me. Dark Templar, to be specific.

[pingcode20]

Major Pingcode reporting for the Terran Confederacy, sir!

My Siege Tanks will reduce the opposition to rubble before they know what hit them!

[Almighty Salmon]

Heh, i dont know anything about starcraft.

Random team please. Unless Fleeing Coward sign ups.. then a different team than him please :smallwink:

[alec]

I'm in on the Terran side. One of those jet-bike type things if possible, I think they were called vipers, weren't they. I haven't played in years.

[Calamity]

I have no knowlegde of Starcraft whatsoever. Random team please

[Castaras]

Random team please, never heard of Starcraft until I came to these forums, and know nothing about it.

[Atreyu the Masked LLama]

I'm in. Can I be a lumberjack again?

[Vhaidara]

I think I'll join. Terran or Protoss, Jim Raynor or Fenix(dragoon).

[Hoggy]

I have nein clue about starcraft. Surprise me. :smalltongue:

EDIT: Whichever is most pirate-y. I want to be a pirate.

[Ink]

I know nothing about Starcraft either. Random team for me please.

[Zar Peter]

I'm in, I'm the piano man please :smallsmile:

[Skippy]

In, once again. I'm not feeling so bad now that I know I'm not the only one who hasn't ever played Starcraft. Any team will do.

[Akaziel]

In again. I'll be a Protoss Twilight Archon.

[Ezlo]

I know no Starcraft. Sign me up on whatever team has the most chance to have meatloaf.

[Castaras]

Hey Ezlo, want a Meatloaf/Pie alliance? :smalltongue:

[Draken]

Protoss, Twilight Archon here.

Your side will probably be the Terran Ezlo, and for their sake. I will make sure every single of them is destroyed before they must suffer the curse of meatloaf. :smallsmile:

[Neodan282]

Protoss Dark Archon here!

[HyramGraff]

I'll join a random team.

[DarkCorax]

I'll join this, random team please, and could I be put on auto-notify for future games please?

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

I'm in as always, but I have no knowledge of Starcraftian anything, save for a bit of nothing I figured out about five seconds ago.

Random team, then.

[Baboon Army]

I'm in as a Zerg mutated baboon.

[DraPrime]

I'm in as a terran ghost. Because nothing is as fun as stealth.

[Traveling_Angel]

*Weeps at the number of people who don't know a thing about Starcraft*

I'll take whatever team, but as one of the following

Terran Reaper
Zerg Hydralisk
Protoss Immortal


Seriously, it's worth the $10 used.

[Studoku]

I'll take any team because I don't know anything about Starcraft.

[DraPrime]

*Weeps at the number of people who don't know a thing about Starcraft*

I feel your pain. *sob*

[evnafets]

For the swarm!

I'll lay claim to a Zerg Cerebrate

[Khaldan]

ZERRRRRG!!

In.

[Lord Herman]

Bookboy, I haven't put you down as Raynor or Fenix, because I'd rather not have any heroes in this game. They restrict the story too much.

[Vhaidara]

*pouts*

Fine, Wraith if air units are allowed, Ghost armed with nuke otherwise.

[Traveling_Angel]

I feel your pain. *sob*

It's such an awesome game, runs on almost any computer, and is cheap. Heck, there are professional Starcraft players, and the game is ancient.

[RocketBard]

I don't know anything about Starcraft, so sign me up for the team that seems the most aligned with good. I also want to be a random infantryman.

[Vhaidara]

Starcraft ftw! One of my old friends new a guy that dominated multi through hotkeys. ten seconds, and you'd be hit from roughly 10 attack forces all in different spots. I prefer head on diversion assault via heavy unit(Reaver since protoss do this best), then warp another batch in at the back to own while they defend the front.

[Mad Wizard]

Put me in as the commander of a Protoss Carrier, if air units are allowed. If not, make me a random Zealot.

[huyneo]

"My life for Aiur!!!"

I shall be a Protoss Immortal

[Therarde]

Sign me up. Don't care which team.

[Traveling_Angel]

"My life for Aiur!!!"

I shall be a Protoss Immortal

Um, that's a zealot quote...

[Indurain]

I've been in every round so far, can't stop now!

This one looks like it could be painful on the brainful.

[Krursk]

I'm in as a terran ghost. Because nothing is as fun as stealth.


*pouts*

Fine, Wraith if air units are allowed, Ghost armed with nuke otherwise.

I'm in as a Terran.

Damn, three ghosts would be too many. Can I be a dropship commander who drops random NPC Terrans? If not, I'm a Battleship commander. Failing that (I love my characters that could break the game) I'll be a Firebat

[Lord Herman]

Air units are allowed. In fact, every unit (except heroes) is allowed. But there shouldn't be too many of the same high-tier units - so no five battleships or anything. Lots of zerglings is fine, though.

[Lord Herman]

One day left to sign up. Remember, if you forget to sign up, the Zerg will eat you.

[Fleeing Coward]

Almost forgot about this, I agree with Salmon, I'll be on whatever side it isn't on :smallbiggrin:

[Krursk]

Actually on second though, being a dropship commander is a bit annoying to imagine. Can I swap to being a Battleship commander

[Lord Herman]

The list of contestants so far:

Terran
alec - Vulture
Bookboy - Wraith pilot
dragonprime - Ghost
Krursk - Battleship commander
pingcode20 (Major Pingcode) - Siege tank commander

Protoss
Akaziel - Twilight Archon
Destro Yersul - Dark Templar
Draken - High Templar
huyneo - Immortal
Mad Wizard - Carrier commander
Neodan282 - Dark Archon
RocketBard - Zealot
Vampiric - Zealot

Zerg
Baboon Army - Mutated baboon
Khaldan
evnafets - Cerebrate
Raiser B1ade

Random
Almighty Salmon - Not on Fleeing Coward's team
Atreyu - Lumberjack
banjo1985
Calamity
Castaras
DarkCorax
Ezlo
Fleeing Coward - Not on Almighty Salmon's team
Fredricus - Either a Zerg Hydralisk or a Terran Marine
Hoggy - Pirate
HyramGraff
Indurain
Ink
Lord Fullbladder
radikalskippy
Stu42
Therarde
Traveling Angel - Terran Reaper, Zerg Hydralisk, or Protoss Immortal
Zar Peter - Piano man


The sign-ups end Today, 18:00 GMT.

[Draken]

By the way, change mine, I don't want to be a Twilight Archon anymore. I want to be a High Templar.

Must... find... Templar... quotes.

[Lord Herman]

Alright, the sign-ups are now closed. I will put up the introduction later tonight.

edit: Make that tomorrow. I've just bought a new computer, and I still need to install all kinds of stuff.

[Shadow]

Shadow shoots Lord Herman.

[Dr. Bath]

Dang, I issed sign-ups by a day! Now I'll have to wait for the next one.

[Lord Herman]

From the bridge of his battlecruiser, commander Krursk watches the battle unfold. A large Zerg force is attacking the Protoss fleet in orbit around the uncharted planet Krursk was assigned to... well, chart. The Zerg have already destroyed one of the Protoss carriers, but they are taking heavy losses themselves. Commander Krursk, however, is not interested in the battle itself. “Ensign, is your scan complete?” “Aye, sir. There is both a Zerg and a Protoss presence on the planet, concentrated around a point on the southern hemisphere.” “What could they be doing there? Bring up a map of the area.” The ensign brings up the minimap. “As you can see sir, there is a Protoss outpost to the north, and a Zerg hive to the southeast of this canyon.” “Hmm... what could that bright thing in the canyon be? Can you zoom in on the canyon?” “No sir, I can’t zoom the minimap. I could move the main view to the canyon, though.” “Then do so, ensign.” “Aye, sir.” “I still can’t make anything out... damn low resolution. Ensign, do you have any idea what that thing is?” “No sir, but it sure is shiny.” “And both the Zerg and the Protoss are after it. Whatever it is, we can’t let it fall into their hands. Or claws, in the Zerg’s case. Prepare the troops. The Terran Dominion is going after this shiny thing.”

The Protoss fleet commander appears on the holographic display. “Executor Atreyu, I don’t know how much longer we can hold off the Zerg fleet. The artefact must be secured before their main force reaches the planet.” Atreyu ponders the situation, and then bleats. “As you wish, executor.” The image of the fleet commander disappears, and in his place, a zealot appears. “Executor, this is RocketBard. Our observers report that the Zerg are preparing a zergling rush. We could stop them with our zealots, but... erm... the men have been itching to try out the new colossus.” Atreyu bleats and nods. “Thank you, sir. They’ll be happy to hear that.”

Outside, two templar are discussing strategy. “I’m telling you, Draken, let me go out there with a few of my brethren, and we’ll steal the artefact right from under the Zerg’s noses!” “It’s too risky, Destro. The Zerg are sure to have a few overlords monitoring the area. No, we need reavers.” “And blow the artefact to smithereens? Look, just give us a chance, will you?” “You know what? We’ll ask the executor what he thinks.” “Atreyu? He’s a llama, for crying out loud! He’ll just bleat, and you’ll claim he agrees with you!” “If you hadn’t cut off your psionic appendages, you would know what Atreyu is saying!” “Will you two stop bickering,” says a voice behind them. Akaziel, the twilight archon and de facto leader of the Protoss force, looks sternly at the two templar. At least, he would be, if his face wasn’t a vague dark shape within a bright cloud of psionic energy. “Look, why don’t we just execute both plans. Draken, your forces will provide a distraction, while Destro Yersul’s dark templar take the artefact by stealth. Now if you will excuse me, I’m off to feed the executor.”

Cerebrate evnafets is busy expanding his hive. He has found some mineral deposits to the west, and he has sent some drones to start mining it. But his real attention is focused on the artefact in the canyon nearby. He knows the Protoss are searching for it. He has his suspicions as to what it is, but he’s not exactly sure. All he knows is that one of his hydralisks saw something very shiny in the canyon, before being gunned down by a Protoss dragoon. Evnafets has managed to deny the Protoss access to the canyon, but he can’t reach it either – both sides have enough firepower to obliterate anything that tries to go near the artefact. The cerebrate tries to figure out a way to break the stalemate, but he’s finding it hard to concentrate. Something is distracting him... “For the love of the overmind, will you stop playing that infernal piano!” Zergling Peter looks up from his piano, and chirps apologetically. “Go make yourself useful. Organise a rush or something.” Zergling Peter hops outside, and waits for a couple of other zerglings to hatch. “Come,” he chirps, “the cerebrate wants us to rush the Protoss base.” “We know! We’re Zerg! We’re supposed to be a hive mind, you idiot!”

[Lord Herman]

Terran
alec - Vulture
banjo1985
Bookboy - Wraith pilot
DarkCorax
dragonprime - Ghost
Ezlo
Fleeing Coward
Hoggy - Pirate
Krursk - Battleship commander
pingcode20 (Major Pingcode) - Siege tank commander
radikalskippy
Traveling Angel - Reaper

Protoss
Akaziel - Twilight Archon
Almighty Salmon
Atreyu - Executor
Destro Yersul - Dark Templar
Draken - High Templar
huyneo - Immortal
Indurain
Mad Wizard - Carrier commander
Neodan282 - Dark Archon
RocketBard - Zealot
Therarde
Vampiric - Zealot

Zerg
Baboon Army - Mutated baboon
Calamity
Castaras
evnafets - Cerebrate
Fredricus - Hydralisk
HyramGraff - Hydralisk
Ink
Khaldan - Zergling
Lord Fullbladder
Raiser B1ade
Stu42
Zar Peter - Piano man


Please submit your actions before Monday, 17:00 GMT.

I have a very busy schedule next week, so it's possible I'll miss some deadlines. I'll try to update regularly.

[Lord Herman]

Alright, I've just had my first day of university, and judging from my schedule for the rest of the week, there's no way I'm going to get any writing done. Don't worry - the busy schedule is only for this week. The game will continue at its normal pace on friday.

The new deadline is Friday, 17:00 GMT.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

NOOOOO! How will I get my TRAF fix? How will I survive?

[Lord Herman]

Then you are in luck! I'm home right now, sick as a dog*, and I have lots of time on my hands. So I guess I'll just start writing this round now.

* Specifically, sick as a dog that isn't feeling too well.

[Lord Herman]

Akaziel is feeding Atreyu, as suddenly one of the many displays in the executor’s control room starts flashing and beeping. “I’ll see what it is, executor.” The archon walks over to the display, and turns to Atreyu. “Crud! It’s the Terrans! There’s a huge Terran force landing west of here! By Adun, they have tanks and battleships and everything! What do we do? What do we do?” The executor bleats. “Alright,” says Akaziel, “but I want to be the thimble this time.”

“Major Pingcode! Major Pingcode, do you read?” Commander Krursk is shouting into his microphone, his face red with rage. “You were ordered to guard the base, Major! You come back here at once! Pingcode, come in! Damn!” The commander throws his microphone at an unsuspecting ensign, and paces around the bridge of his battleship. “Idiot! We can expect the Zerg to attack our base any minute, and he charges off with his tanks!”

“Sir!” “What?” “SIR!” Major Pingcode removes his earmuffs. “What is it, corporal?” “Didn’t the commander order us to stay put?” “Nonsense. He has ordered us to deal with the Zerg threat, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do.” “By charging at them, sir?” “Why not? We set up our tanks on that cliff, and blast away at their base, while our Reapers take out their drones!” “But sir, that would take us along that forest path, where we could be easily ambushed!” “Nonsense! Forests don’t provide stealth. Heck, trees aren’t even passable terrain! The only thing we have to worry about are burrowed Zerg, and they can do that anywhere.”

As Pingcode’s tanks rumble toward their target, three Protoss are hiding in the bushes. “How come these bushes are passable, Vampiric?” asks huyneo. “I guess it’s a glitch. They do seem to provide stealth, so let’s just hide here and wait for the Terrans.” “But I’m an immortal! I’m way bigger than these bushes!” “Come on, huyneo! You’re five hundred years older than me! You should know better than to ask stupid questions that can get you killed!” “How do you think I became an immortal in the first place?” “Be quiet!” says Indurain, “I think they’re coming!” The Zealot and the Immortal hide in the bushes, and wait until the Terrans are near. Vampiric and Indurain ignite their psiblades, huyneo charges his weapons, and the Protoss warriors jump in front of the tanks. Unfortunately, so do a pair of Zerg – Zergling Peter and HydraGraff have just unburrowed, and are staging their own ambush. As they crash into each other, Pingcode’s tanks arrive. “Crap! The Zerg and the Protoss are attacking! Should we stop, sir?” “Stop? Now why would I want to do that, corporal?” And as Vampiric tries to strangle HydraGraff, a 150-tonne tank flattens the struggling aliens. Zergling Peter hops away, but loses a leg to Indurain’s psiblade, and is then riddled with bullets by Traveling Angel.

“You know what’s creepy?” “What?” “Those skeletons.” “What skeletons, Fleeing Coward?” “You know, those skeletons of great big critters.” “Yeah, what about them?” “Well, I’ve seen at least six of them already, and they’re all lying in the exact same position.” “Uh-huh?” “That’s creepy!” “Why?” “’ cause they don’t do that by themselves! I think the Zerg did it. For psychological warfare. Or maybe... wait, what was that?” “What was what?” “I saw something move! Right behind the skeleton!” “Heh, maybe it’s one of them Zerg, conducting psychological warfare.” “Come on, man, I think there’s something out there!” Private Banjo grabs his rifle, and empties a clip in the general direction of the skeleton. “Happy now?” he asks. Suddenly, a Protoss slumps out of the bushes behind the skeleton. RocketBard had been stalking the Terrans for hours, and was just about to strike as a rain of bullets cut his attack short. “Aaaah! Protoss attack!” yells Fleeing Coward, and runs away. “Wait, Fleeing Coward, we put spider mines over... never mind.”

“Coordinates received. Vector locked in.” Bookboy’s Pirates, an elite wraith unit, is heading for the Zerg base in an attempt to take out the cerebrate. “Pirate two, this is pirate leader. Is the payload ready?” “Aye, cap’n! We’ll blow them Zerg out of the water! Avast!” “Lieutenant Hoggy, a simple ‘yes’ will do.” “Aye... I mean, yes sir!” “Pirate three, do we have visual on the target?” “Yes, sir,” says DarkCorax, the third wraith pilot. “Then we’re going in. Engage your cloak.” The starfighters swoop down towards the maggot-like shape of the cerebrate. Bookboy and DarkCorax open fire on two mutalisks defending evnafets, and Hoggy drops the top secret weapon.

“Whuh? Where am I?” “Draken, is that you?” “Destro Yersul?” “Yes, it’s me. Why are we falling?” “I don’t know. I remember we were discussing the details of the mission, and then... wait a second, I remember a Terran who hit me on the head with a big rock!” “What’s this thing we’re tied to?” “Uhm... looks like a crude Terran device.” “What kind of device?” “Ah, it would seem that this is one of those ‘nuclear bombs’ I’ve heard so much about. It would seem that the Terrans plan to detonate this device near the Zerg cerebrate, in an attempt to release our psionic energies and thereby destroy the cerebrate.” “Ah, okay. I do have two questions.” “Ask away.” “Well, first, what do you intend to do about our situation?” “I think I’ll unleash a psionic storm on the area, killing the cerebrate and hopefully disabling the nuclear device. And your other question?” “How come we’ve been talking for at least a minute, and we still haven’t hit the ground?” “No idea. Sloppy storytelling on the narrator’s part, I guess. Now, let me concentrate while I summon forth a psionic storm.”

Draken closes his eyes. The air around him begins to crackle with energy. Psionic lightning fills the sky. Destro Yersul sneezes. Draken explodes. The nuke explodes. Destro Yersul is vaporized. Bookboy’s burning wraith crashes into a hydralisk lair. The cerebrate and the mutalisks are unharmed.

Hoggy and DarkCorax have already passed their target, and turn around for another pass. DarkCorax fires his missiles at Calamity, one of the mutalisks. Calamity nimbly evades the missiles, waits for DarkCorax to pass him, and guides the missiles to the wraith, scoring a direct hit on the engine. Unfortunately, the explosion is limited to 1997 technology, and therefore isn’t very spectacular. Meanwhile, Ink, the other mutalisk, chases Hoggy for a while before returning to the Zerg base.

“Come on, Atreyu, I beat you fair and square!” The llama bleats angrily, and walks outside. Suddenly, he feels a rush of wind, and he’s knocked over by a terran Vulture bike that races through the Protoss base. The driver, alec, doesn’t seem to be watching where he’s going – he’s too busy fighting the mutated baboon that’s trying to strangle him. Atreyu stands up, and bleats into his communication device. “Affirmative,” says Mad Wizard. Slowly, his massive carrier moves into position. “Launch all interceptors!” The ship’s computer beeps. “Error. No interceptors built. We apologise for the inconvenience. Please contact your system administrator to build new interceptors. If you want to help Microsoft to improve this product, please...” “Shut up. Oh well, let’s do this the old-fashioned way, then.” Mad Wizard opens a window, grabs the computer, and tosses it at the speeding bike. Like all advanced technology, it explodes on impact, destroying the bike.

“Excellent,” says Ezlo, while staring at a test tube, “I believe the mixture is just right. Now to test it...” Ezlo, the meatloafologist, has officially accompanied the Terran expedition as a geologist, but that is mostly a cover for him to run dangerous and highly illegal meatloaf experiments. He positions his science vessel above an abandoned valley, and prepares the test. Meanwhile, on the ground, a large group of zerglings has assembled. One of them, known as Lord Fullbladder, master of Zerglings, points one of his claws at Ezlo’s science vessel. “Now,” he chirps, “we will destroy the Terran-That-Brings-Meatloaf! Attack!” The zerglings shuffle their feet, and the one known as Khaldan chirps: “Erm... Lord Fullbladder?” “Yes?” “Science vessels are air units. We’re melee units. We can’t attack him!” “You think I haven’t thought of that? I have brought something. A Terran invention that will help us destroy the ship. It’s called ‘rope’.” “How does it work?” “Well, you see...” “Hey, what’s that?” A small hatch has opened in the science vessel, and something falls out. “Look, something’s fallen out! It must be the Terran! Fullbladder’s rope has worked!” The zerglings crowd around it, dragging Fullbladder with them. “That’s not the Terran,” says Lord Fullbladder, “it’s meatloaf! Get out of here!” “Computer, commence testing!” says Ezlo, and with a loud bang, the meatloaf explodes, splattering zergling parts everywhere. “Excellent! Computer, send a message to commander... er... whatshisname. Project Exploding Meatloaf is successful.”

Two hydralisks are standing at a vespene geyser. “What is it, Fredricus?” hisses Raiser B1ade. “I’ve always wondered what’s beneath those geysers. Where does all that gas come from?” “Always? You hatched two minutes ago!” “That means I’ve wondered about it all my life! But seriously, do you know? Is there, like, a big gas bubble? Or is there a creature down there that makes the gas?” “Look, if there was a monster that farts vespene gas, don’t you think we would have assimilated it into the swarm ages ago?” “Oh yeah. Still, I want to know. I’m going to burrow here.” “What? Are you crazy? Haven’t you read those flyers they gave us about burrowing?” “You mean the things they gave us when they evolved burrowing? ‘Burrowing and you: dos and don’ts’? That’s all nonsense. They’re just afraid they’ll get sued if some stupid zergling burrows into an underground magma stream or something. I’m gonna burrow.” “Your funeral.” “Right.” Fredricus starts digging, and Raiser B1ade stares into the tunnel. “Erm, Raiser B1ade?” “Yes?” “I’m stuck.” “Oh, crud. I think we have a bigger problem, Fredricus.” “What?” “There isn’t any gas coming out of the geyser anymore.” “Why would that be...” Suddenly, there is a sound like a champagne bottle uncorking, and Fredricus is launched at Raiser B1ade at breakneck speed. Literally. Both hydralisks fly for half a mile before crashing into a pylon at the Protoss base.

“Dum de dum.” Stu42, an ultralisk, is standing guard at the northern pass that leads to the Zerg base. The cerebrate fears a protoss attack from that direction, but Stu42 has been standing there for hours, and nothing has happened. He almost falls asleep, as he hears something above him. Some gravel and sand falls from the cliff next to him, but he doesn’t see anything except for a giant rock that is standing dangerously close to the edge of the cliff. Suddenly, something goes beep at the top of the cliff, the rock moves, and tumbles down on the ultralisk. “Bleep beep boop,” says Almighty Probe, and tries to get away before anyone sees him. Unfortunately, someone has seen him. “Never know what hit ‘im,” says dragonprime as he aims his C-10 Canister Rifle, and shoots the Protoss probe. “Base, this is dragonprime. I am awaiting...” “Dragonprime? We didn’t get that last part. Please repeat.” “Must obey...” While he was stalking the probe, dragonprime didn’t notice that he was being followed himself. Neodan282, the dark archon, has now taken possession of the ghost’s mind. “Operative dragonprime, please come in!” “Must obey...” “Nuclear launch detected.” “Dragonprime, why did we just fire a nuke? Come in, dragonprime! What’s your target?” As Neodan282 returns to the Protoss base, dragonprime feels the archon’s grip on his mind loosen. “Wait a sec... what’s this red dot on my chest?”

Castaras, the defiler, is slithering around the perimeter of the Zerg base. Suddenly, she notices a man in a tuxedo, who is talking into a microphone. She has just prepared a highly toxic pie, so she decides to get rid of this Terran. As she sneaks up to him, she notices another Terran standing behind her. She tries to attack him, forgets that defilers don’t have an attack, and is burned to a crisp by radikalskippy’s flamethrower. Meanwhile, Therarde was also planning to attack Castaras, and fires his phase cannon at her smoking remains. “Commander, this is radikalskippy! I’m under attack by a Protoss dragoon!” “Copy that, radikalskippy. Powering up Yamato Cannon.” Krursk’s battlecruiser takes position near the dragoon, and fires its main weapon at the unsuspecting Protoss, atomising him. “That’s a hit. Ensign, turn the ship around. We’re returning to base. Wait, what’s that? It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s... a zergling?” Khaldan, launched by Ezlo’s exploding meatloaf, crashes through the main window of the battleship’s bridge and crashes into Krursk, who is impaled on the zergling’s claws. As the unfortunate commander’s hat lands on Khaldan’s head, an ensign asks: “Your orders, sir?”

[Lord Herman]

{table]Terrans|Action
alec|Baboon Army
banjo1985|Self
Bookboy|evnafets
DarkCorax|Calamity
dragonprime|Almighty Salmon
Ezlo|Self
Fleeing Coward|Self
Hoggy|Draken
Krursk|Therarde
pingcode20|Self
radikalskippy|Castaras
Traveling Angel|Zar Peter
Protoss|Action
Akaziel|Timeout
Almighty Salmon|Stu42
Atreyu|Baboon Army
Destro Yersul|evnafets
Draken|evnafets
huyneo|pingcode20
Indurain|Zar Peter
Mad Wizard|Baboon Army
Neodan282|dragonprime
Therarde|Castaras
RocketBard|banjo1985
Vampiric|pingcode20
Zerg|Action
Baboon Army|alec
Calamity|Self
Castaras|Air
evnafets|Self
Fredricus|Self
HyramGraff|pingcode20
Ink|Air
Khaldan|Krursk
Lord Fullbladder|Ezlo
Raiser B1ade|Self
Stu42|Air
Zar Peter|huyneo[/table]


Terran
banjo1985 - Marine
Ezlo - Science vessel
Hoggy - Pirate, Wraith pilot
pingcode20 (Major Pingcode) - Siege tank commander
radikalskippy - Firebat
Traveling Angel - Reaper
alec - Vulture
Bookboy - Wraith pilot
DarkCorax - Wraith pilot
dragonprime - Ghost
Fleeing Coward - Marine
Krursk - Battleship commander

Protoss
Akaziel - Twilight Archon
Atreyu - Executor
Indurain - Zealot
Mad Wizard - Carrier commander
Neodan282 - Dark Archon
Almighty Salmon - Probe
Destro Yersul - Dark Templar
Draken - High Templar
huyneo - Immortal
RocketBard - Zealot
Therarde - Dragoon
Vampiric - Zealot

Zerg
Calamity - Mutalisk
evnafets - Cerebrate
Ink - Mutalisk
Khaldan - Zergling
Baboon Army - Mutated baboon
Castaras - Defiler
Fredricus - Hydralisk
HyramGraff - Hydralisk
Lord Fullbladder - Zergling
Raiser B1ade - Hydralisk
Stu42 - Ultralisk
Zar Peter - Piano Zergling


Please submit your actions before Monday, 17:00 GMT.

[banjo1985]

Haha Mr RocketBard I learnt from the last round! :smallbiggrin:

My first ever survival of round one!

On a related note...me and Fleeing Coward....teaming up?! We disagree over almost everything! This surely is an alternate universe....

Great story by the way!

[Fleeing Coward]

That must be why you left spider mines on my escape route :smalltongue:

[huyneo]

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
/cry
i died X_X

[Almighty Salmon]

I would've gotten away with it too, If it wasn't for that pesky Dragonprime!

It seems your suicide plan is backfiring Fleeing Coward :smallwink: :smalltongue:

[Fleeing Coward]

Actually, it's finally working. Those pesky people from the anti-suicide league are finally getting off my back and letting me die like I wanted :smallbiggrin:

[Almighty Salmon]

If you wanted to die you could've just asked me to shoot you.

It'd be an honour :smallamused:

[Vampiric]

I just need to die in the first round of RAF round 8, then I'll be joint with Moon_Called and Fredricus:smallbiggrin:. In three games, I've killed one person... that was in the Ninja vs. Samurai - Zar Peter. Is there a medal for least kills in so many games?

[Fleeing Coward]

If you wanted to die you could've just asked me to shoot you.

It'd be an honour :smallamused:

But then I'd be alive wouldn't I? The whole point of death by suicide is so that you don't have to waste anyone else's precious time :smallsmile:

[Neodan282]

Ha-HA! Looks like L_H agreed to my style of killing.

[Draken]

No one likes evnafets. He was attacked by two Templars and one Wraith in a single round.

And survived.

Castaras attempting to kill the narrator is now pretty much the same thing as Ezlo and Meatloaf. It's classical.

[Baboon Army]

Wow, I think this is the first time I was attacked by more than one person(alec). I...almost...feel...loved?

[Ezlo]

Aha! I got you that lime Lord Fullbladder! :smallbiggrin: Meatloaf shall always be supreme over... what ever food it is you... endorse. Yeah, endorse.

[Zar Peter]

I just need to die in the first round of RAF round 8, then I'll be joint with Moon_Called and Fredricus:smallbiggrin:. In three games, I've killed one person... that was in the Ninja vs. Samurai - Zar Peter. Is there a medal for least kills in so many games?

You killed me? I'm the only one whom you killed???? REVENGE!!!!! :smallbiggrin:

[Castaras]

I got shot at by two people...

I feel loved. :smallbiggrin:


Castaras attempting to kill the narrator is now pretty much the same thing as Ezlo and Meatloaf. It's classical.

I will not stop until I have succeeded! :smalltongue: :smallamused: :smallbiggrin:

[DraPrime]

I would've gotten away with it too, If it wasn't for that pesky Dragonprime!

Metal Head says "hi" and "I bribed Dragonprime"

[Baboon Army]

Now I have to wait forever for the next round:smallfrown:
...ehh there are certain times I wish I killed myself...

[Almighty Salmon]

Metal Head says "hi" and "I bribed Dragonprime"

I should have suspected.. :smallmad:

Curse you Metal Head!

[Metal Head]

I should have suspected.. :smallmad:

Curse you Metal Head!

Serves you right.

[Therarde]

Aw...I dead. :(

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

I'll bring you down yet, Ezlo! You can't hide behind your vile meatloaf forever!

[Hoggy]

Harhar, nuclear warfun says I. :smallbiggrin:

[pingcode20]

Serves you right for trying to take on tanks with your little knives and bare claws.

Silly Protoss! Silly Zerg!

((Whee! Take that, Immortals! Your shields are no match for the mighty Ar****e!))

[Lord Herman]

Interestingly, this round saw the first suicide that killed three people at once. Evnafets and pingcode20 are now tied for the orange suicide badge. Baboon Army was also shot by three people, but didn't suicide, so he's now tied with Moon Called and Akaziel for the brown lynch mob badge.

[Vhaidara]

*Aims wreck at Evnafets*

He's won to many! Take him out and deflate his ego!

(:smalltongue: )

[huyneo]

i wasn't killed by cannons of doom from pingcode X_X
I died from being run over
X_X
so unfulfilling

[pingcode20]

Read more closely - you got killed by 150 tonnes of pure crushy goodness! :smallbiggrin:

[DraPrime]

i wasn't killed by cannons of doom from pingcode X_X
I died from being run over
X_X
so unfulfilling

At least you didn't nuke yourself. That was embarrassing.

[Neodan282]

I know. ^-^

[huyneo]

...but i myself was bigger than the tank X_X
atleast As big

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Hey, I got killed by a chunk of meatloaf. At least you guys had semi-conventional weaponry to put in your eulogy.

[Traveling_Angel]

Do I get a cookie for killing the Piano Man Zergling?

[Raiser Blade]

I declare a revolt aganst Travelling_Angel


....oh wait wrong game.

:smallwink:

[Traveling_Angel]

Read the Rockstar thead. :smallwink:

[Lord Herman]

More stuff on medals and other stuff:
- Moon Called no longer holds the black First Round Casualty badge. She is now tied with Fredricus and Lord Fullbladder.
- Raiser B1ade and Khaldan are now tied for the red medal. They both have 9 kills. pingcode20 is close behind with 8 kills.
- HyramGraff and RocketBard are threatening pingcode20's position for the yellow medal. They both have 14 rounds of not being shot at, while pingcode20 has 15.
- The blue medal is still firmly in pingcode20's hands. There haven't been many airshots in the last few rounds.
- We haven't lost any 'veteran' players this round. Everyone who had played in every round last round, is still playing now. A few players did disappear. Moon Called, for example, hasn't signed up this round.
- All new players (Bookboy, DarkCorax, huyneo and Therarde) died in the first round this time.
- After this round, the first gold stars for participation will be awarded. I'm considering giving each participation stripe a name. For example, three stripes would make you a sergeant.

Remember, none of this is in effect yet - medals and badges are awarded at the end of the round, so Moon Called, for example, still holds her black badge for now.

[pingcode20]

I expect as much - as a 1st round veteran, I haven't got obscurity shielding anymore.

[Studoku]

I expect as much - as a 1st round veteran, I haven't got obscurity shielding anymore.

I never use obscurity shielding. In the Romans v Gauls game, I tried to get people to shoot me by having a silly name and title.

I've been shot at in every first round I've been in (1 game of normal RAF, 2 of team RAF.)

[Fleeing Coward]

I've come up with a strategy that means no one shoots me anymore. Unfortunately, the side effect of it is that I die because of it :smalltongue:

[pingcode20]

Thing is, before, it was a valid choice to Airshot all the time or Shoot all the time.

I even went one entire round (surviving very, very, many turns) only using Airshots, quite firmly cementing me in as the pacifist medal holder.

Now, though, it's better for me to do a Fleeing Coward and suicide, because I'm known to shoot a lot.

[Lord Herman]

Well, I've given every participation stripe a rank name. Coincidentally, pingcode20 is now a major. Once we run out of military ranks, I think I'll add noble titles.

Note that these rank names don't have any in-game effect. Saying you're a lieutenant in Team RAF is just a fancier way of saying you've participated in four rounds.

{table]Stripe|Rank name
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation1.png|Private
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation2.png|Corporal
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation3.png|Sergeant
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation4.png|Lieutenant
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation5.png|Captain
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation6.png|Major
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation7.png|Colonel
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation8.png|Brigadier
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation9.png|General
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation10.png|Marshal[/table]

[Castaras]

Yay, I'm a major! :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Herman]

It's past 17:00 GMT, so I'll start writing.

[Lord Herman]

“Sir?” “Chirp!” “Sir, I’m afraid I don’t understand you.” Khaldan jumps up and down, chirping at the ensign, but it seems the young officer hasn’t been paying attention during Zergese classes. The ensign decides to find a senior officer, and soon returns with a lieutenant. “It would seem, ensign, that the commander has been turned into a zergling.” “But sir, the commander is right there!” says the ensign, pointing at the perforated corpse of Commander Krursk. “Oh, I see. But the thing is, this zergling is wearing a commander’s hat, so he must be a commander. And since there are no higher ranking officers on the ship, that puts him in command. Now, sir, what are your orders?” “Chirp chirp!” “Aye, sir. Ensign, turn the ship around, and head for the Protoss base.”

“Look, a battlecruiser!” says Neodan282. “We should attack it,” says Indurain. “How? You’re a melee unit, and I don’t even have an attack!” “I know! Why don’t you use your ‘teleport zealot’ ability?” “What are you talking about? There is no such ability.” “It, uh, was added in the last patch. Honest. It’s an ability that can teleport a zealot to the bridge of a Terran battlecruiser.” “Are you sure you aren’t making this up?” “Nuh-uh. It’s in the patch log. Look,” says Indurain, showing the dark archon a print-out. “Uhm, Indurain?” “Yes?” “It was added in crayon.” “Will you shut up and teleport me already?” “Alright, but don’t tell anybody. If Blizzard finds out about this, I’ll be in big trouble.” One cheap special effect later, Indurain finds himself on the bridge of the battlecruiser. After stabbing everyone to death with his psiblades, the zealot sets course for the Terran base and charges the Yamato Cannon.

“Battlecruiser, come in! Why are you returning to base? Please come in!” Indurain’s face appears on the viewscreen of the Terran command center. “I, uh, I’m bringing the ship in for maintenance.” “Wait a minute, where’s your hat?” “What?” “You’re not wearing a hat! Red alert! Red alert! Unauthorised personnel have taken control of the battlecruiser! Lieutenant Hoggy, do you read?” “I can’t read, sir. I ne’er went t’ school.” “Never mind that. Hoggy, we need you to use the secret weapon.” “But sir, we be out o’ Protoss!” “No, the other secret weapon!” “Ah, that one. Aye, sir.” Hoggy gets his wraith right above the battlecruiser, and drops the payload. “Exploding meatloaf away!”

“Meatloaf launch detected.” “Wait, what? Oh crap! Neodan282! Get me out of here!” Just before the battlecruiser explodes, Indurain is teleported back to the Protoss base. “Thanks, Neodan282.” “Look, that’s the second time I’ve risked my neck for you. I’m telling you, if...” “Are you the dark archon known as Neodan282?” The Protoss turns around, and sees two men in suits carrying briefcases. “I am, Terrans. Now explain your presence in our base.” “We are magical knights, sent by...” “Shut up, Phil. We are lawyers, sent by Blizzard Entertainment. Neodan282, you are accused of hacking by using abilities that do not exist. Your account is hereby banned from Blizzard Entertainment’s Battle.net service. Have a nice day.”

“Phase two is complete? Excellent! Then we can now commence testing on the 8-milimeter meatloaf round for the standard issue gauss rifle. Private Banjo, you can load your weapon now.” “Yes, sir. Sir, are you sure this will work? I’d feel a lot safer with normal rounds in my gun.” “Don’t worry, private, these new rounds will offer at least twenty-five times the firepower as your standard metal rounds.” “Well, alright then. Now I just fire at the target?” “Yes, you can commence firing.” After watching the test on his computer screen, Doctor Ezlo contacts the main base. “Base, phase three of Project Exploding Meatloaf is complete. Testing is mostly successful. Your marine fired a single round at the target. It was completely obliterated. There is now a twenty-foot crater where the target was.” “Sounds good, Doctor.” “There is one minor problem, though.” “And that is?” “There is a crater twice that size where the marine was.”

Hearing the explosions all the way from the Zerg base, evnafets has decided to send a few mutalisks to investigate. Ink and Calamity spot the undefended science vessel, and receive the order to attack. “Alright, Calamity, we come in low, and fire our glave wurms at point blank range.” “Okay.” As the mutalisks head for the science vessel, Calamity quickly gains a lead on Ink. “Not so fast!” “Wheeee!” “Calamity, come back!” Calamity looks around, and sticks out his tongue. “Dammit, Calamity, we’ve got a job to do! Stop fooling around! And watch out where you’re going before you... fly into the Terran ship.” Ink sighs as Calamity is splattered all over the hull of Ezlo’s science vessel. He closes with the ship, fires a couple of glave wurms until it explodes, and then heads back to the Zerg base. “How am I going to explain this to the cerebrate?” “Hive mind.” “Oh, right. Never mind.”

Radikalskippy and Traveling Angel are hiding in the bushes at the edge of the Protoss base, and wait for the executor to wander by. “So you’re a reaper?” “Yeah.” “Nice jet pack.” “Pretty neat, eh? I’ve also got these nifty time bombs I can throw, and two handguns.” “Awesome. But who are you replacing?” “Hmm?” “Well, Blizzard said that Starcraft II would have the same number of units as the original game. That means that you, as a new unit, will be replacing someone.” “Oh, yeah, the reapers are replacing the firebats.” “What?” “The firebats. Good riddance, if you ask me. I never used them anyway.” “Hey, I’m a firebat!” “Oh.” “They’re replacing me, a great anti-melee warrior with an awesome flame thrower, with a wimp like you, who only has a pair of sissy handguns?” “Hey, at least I’m not wearing bright red body armour! You look frickin’ ridiculous in that thing!” “Oh, really?” “Yeah!” “Right, I’m not taking this from a replacement! I’m a veteran unit from Starcraft 1! I was out helping Arcturus Mengsk defeat the Confederacy before you were even on the drawing board!” “Well, bring it on, then, gramps!” “Right!” Radikalskippy takes a swing at Traveling Angel, misses, and accidentally hits the button for his flamethrower, setting fire to the bushes they’re hiding in. From a safe distance, Executor Atreyu stares incredulously at the bushes that just spontaneously combusted before exploding in a pillar of fire, and goes back inside for another game of Monopoly.

“Alright, let show these Protoss what we think of their wimpy carriers! Corporal, signal the other tanks to deploy and blow that carrier of out the sky!” “But Major Pingcode, we can’t!” “What?” “Siege tanks can only fire at ground targets, sir.” “Nonsense! The shock cannon is aimed in an upward angle, so it makes sense that it can fire at flying targets!” “But sir, it says here in the manual...” “And since when do we do things by the book? Right, now relay that damn order!” Before long, the entire squadron is firing its cannons at Mad Wizard’s carrier, rapidly taking down the shields and dealing heavy damage to the hull.

Back in the Protoss command center, Akaziel is winning. “Right, you landed on Boardwalk!” Atreyu bleats. “You’re bankrupt? Woo! I’ve won! Woohoo!” Akaziel raises his hands in victory, but accidentally hits a button on a control panel. Immediately, the panels starts flashing red. Atreyu bleats askingly. “Uh, oops. I think I just ordered all carriers to set a ramming course for the nearest target.” The llama bleats again, in an annoyed tone. “Oh, right, sorry. Yeah, you can be the train.”

“What the hell is that Protoss doing?” “It seems he’s set a direct course for us, sir. I think he’s trying to crash his ship into our tanks.” “Who does he think he is? Tassadar?” “Sir, might I suggest we get our tanks out of here?” “Well, alright. But we’ll have to undeploy the tanks first, before they can move.” Two minutes later, the burning carrier is getting dangerously close. “Crap! Where does this part go?” “The manual says you have to turn part 25a counter clockwise until it clicks into position.” “I’m turning it, and it’s not clicking!” “No, sir, that’s part 25b. You need to have that other part, the L-shaped one.” “Right.” “And once it’s in position, you need to use bolt 8f to fasten latch 3 to the left exhaust.” “We’ve run out of that kind of bolt!” “Oh, I think we used an 8f earlier, where we should have used a 7b.” “It always looked so simple on Transformers! What idiot made these tanks?” “Well, I believe they used to be built by LarsCorp Technologies, but the Dominion switched to IKEA to cut costs.” “Figures,” says the major, before the massive carrier crashes into his column of tanks.

[Lord Herman]

{table]Terrans|Action
banjo1985|Self
Ezlo|Air
Hoggy|Neodan282
pingcode20|Mad Wizard
radikalskippy|Atreyu
Traveling Angel|Atreyu
Protoss|Action
Akaziel|pingcode20
Atreyu|Self
Indurain|Khaldan
Mad Wizard|Timeout
Neodan282|Khaldan
Zerg|Action
Calamity|Self
evnafets|Air
Ink|Ezlo
Khaldan|Timeout[/table]


Terran
Hoggy - Pirate, Wraith pilot
alec - Vulture
banjo1985 - Marine
Bookboy - Wraith pilot
DarkCorax - Wraith pilot
dragonprime - Ghost
Ezlo - Science vessel
Fleeing Coward - Marine
Krursk - Battleship commander
pingcode20 (Major Pingcode) - Siege tank commander
radikalskippy - Firebat
Traveling Angel - Reaper

Protoss
Akaziel - Twilight Archon
Atreyu - Executor
Indurain - Zealot
Almighty Salmon - Probe
Destro Yersul - Dark Templar
Draken - High Templar
huyneo - Immortal
Mad Wizard - Carrier commander
Neodan282 - Dark Archon
RocketBard - Zealot
Therarde - Dragoon
Vampiric - Zealot

Zerg
evnafets - Cerebrate
Ink - Mutalisk
Baboon Army - Mutated baboon
Calamity - Mutalisk
Castaras - Defiler
Fredricus - Hydralisk
HyramGraff - Hydralisk
Khaldan - Zergling
Lord Fullbladder - Zergling
Raiser B1ade - Hydralisk
Stu42 - Ultralisk
Zar Peter - Piano Zergling


Please submit your actions before Wednesday, 17:00 GMT.

[Calamity]

No one shot me? I feel loved. And also dead. I died in an Elan-ish way though :smallbiggrin:

[Hoggy]

...

I am so freakin' lonely. :smallfrown:

[Atreyu the Masked LLama]

SHOCK!! I've never been to round 3 before...EVER. What do I do? what do I do?

[Ezlo]

Yay! I survived!


Wait, I didn't? Where does it say I died? ANd what will happen to my Meatloaf-infused technology?? Who will carry on my legendary saga to be the greatest Meatloafologist of all time?? HOGGY?! AVENGE ME!!!!

[evnafets]

SHOCK!! I've never been to round 3 before...EVER. What do I do? what do I do?

Buy the Orange and Red properties around the Free Parking spot for starters. The Strand, Fleet St and Trafalgar Square (or Kentucky Ave, Indiana Ave and Illinois Ave if you're playing the American version)

[Skippy]

Should have imagined... Go Hoggy, we Terrans trust you!!

[Lord Herman]

Where does it say I died?

In the paragraph after Banjo was blown up, Ink destroys your science vessel.

[banjo1985]

Damn, my first suicide...oh well with RocketBard & Fleeing Coweard both out I should have guessed I might not be shot!

Ezlo your gonna pay for making me test that damn meatloaf rifle :smallbiggrin: !

[Krursk]

I even went one entire round (surviving very, very, many turns) only using Airshots, quite firmly cementing me in as the pacifist medal holder.

*sigh* but for the days of normal RAF, where I won two rounds convincing everyone else to commit suicide or shoot each other.

Oh, and Ezlo, for the love of whatever god Terrans worship, your projects killed two of Terra's finest. Well me and Private Banjo anyway. If both of us weren't dead, I'd cut your funding so fast it wouldn't be funny.

[Lord Herman]

SHOCK!! I've never been to round 3 before...EVER. What do I do? what do I do?

Heh, I just checked, and the only time you didn't die in the first round, you timed out.

[RocketBard]

Damn, my first suicide...oh well with RocketBard & Fleeing Coweard both out I should have guessed I might not be shot!

Ezlo your gonna pay for making me test that damn meatloaf rifle :smallbiggrin: !

Don't worry, I'm going to shoot at pingcode20 the next time just so I can get the "not shot at the most" award.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

*sigh* but for the days of normal RAF, where I won two rounds convincing everyone else to commit suicide or shoot each other.

Oh, and Ezlo, for the love of whatever god Terrans worship, your projects killed two of Terra's finest. Well me and Private Banjo anyway. If both of us weren't dead, I'd cut your funding so fast it wouldn't be funny.

Depending on just how indepth the history aound StarCraft is, one would assume they still worship God.

[Lord Herman]

I have all your actions, so I'll start writing as soon as I've finished my homework for Old Irish.

Old Irish is fun! :smallbiggrin:

edit: Oops, I just found a mistake in the story for last round. In the story, Indurain dies and Neodan282 lives, but it's supposed to be the other way around. I'll put up a fixed version of the story in a minute.

another edit: I've added a paragraph that fixes the story. It's after the paragraph where Indurain would have died.

[Krursk]

Don't worry, I'm going to shoot at pingcode20 the next time just so I can get the "not shot at the most" award.

Now that's just asking for me to shoot you

[Lord Herman]

While Neodan282 is dragged off by the lawyers, Indurain decides it’s time to deal with the Zerg once and for all. “Hmm,” he says, “Cerebrates can only be harmed by Dark Templar energies. Now where do I find those?” He casually walks past the templar archives, looks around, and quickly sneaks in. “Alright, there’s got to be a book about the Dark Templar here somewhere. Ah, there it is. ‘Wielding the Dark Energies for Dummies’.”

“Hey,” says Akaziel, “how come you have all the railroads?” Atreyu bleats. “Alright, alright, here’s your money. Just wait until you land on Pacific Avenue.”

Ink is patrolling the skies above the Zerg base, as he suddenly notices a vague shimmering shape approaching. “Quick,” he says, “get an overlord over here! I think it’s a cloaked wraith!” As one of the slow, lumbering beasts floats towards Ink’s position, Hoggy’s wraith becomes visible. “Avast, me cloak! I’ll get ye, ye scurvy Zerg!”

“Oh, I can’t believe it! Boardwalk? Come on!” Atreyu bleats, and points at a red plastic figure on the game board. “A hotel? When the heck did you build a hotel there? By Adun, that’s just cost me half my money!”

Evnafets is watching the Protoss and the Terrans, waiting for them to slaughter each other. Suddenly, a Protoss zealot jumps out of the bushes. “Ha, now I have you, foul cerebrate!” “Oh, really? Fear the power of my base defences!” “Oh crap!” Indurain closes his eyes, expecting to be killed any second. After a while, he opens his eyes again, and looks around the Zerg base. “Wait a minute... you haven’t built any sunken colonies! You only built spore colonies!” “Well, crap.” says evnafets as the zealot bursts into laughter.

“Ha, gotcha!” says Akaziel. “You’re going to jail, executor!” Atreyu bleats, and shows a card. “What the... the one time you land on ‘go to jail’, you have a get out of jail free card? You lucky bastard!”

Hoggy fires his missiles, but Ink manages to evade them. The mutalisk fires a couple of glaive wurms, and manages to hit Hoggy’s wing. “Blimey, I be hit!” Ink prepares to fire another shot, but Hoggy suddenly makes a steep dive. “Ha! Ye may have hit me, but ye willna kill me! NO-ONE BUT A TERRAN DEFEATS A TERRAN!” And with those words, Hoggy crashes his wraith into the Zerg base, destroying a Mutalisk Cavern and startling a drone.

“Ooh, a chance card! Let’s see... ‘The Campaign For Llama Rights sues you. Give $500 to all llamas.’ What?” Atreyu bleats, and points at himself. “Yes, I know you’re a llama. Thanks for reminding me.”

“Right, ‘Step 1: find a Zerg cerebrate.’ Okay, done that. Step 2...” “Uhm, mind if I call my minions now?” “Wait a sec, almost done here. ‘Step 2: clear your mind, and open yourself to the dark forces of the void.’ Alright, clearing my mind... done. Okay, and now step 3. ‘Stab the cerebrate.’ Okay, sounds simple.” “Now hold on a minute...” says the cerebrate, as Indurain stabs him. “Alright, that ought to do it,” he says, as evnafets explodes in a shower of blood.

“Ha, I rolled a 12! That means I land on... no... crap, I land on Boardwalk! Again!” Atreyu grins. “Alright, that’s it! I’m never playing ‘Atreyu Always Wins Monopoly’ with you again!”

[Lord Herman]

{table]Terrans|Action
Hoggy|Self
Protoss|Action
Akazies|Air
Atreyu|Air
Indurain|evnafets
Zerg|Action
evnafets|Air
Ink|Air[/table]


Terran
alec - Vulture
banjo1985 - Marine
Bookboy - Wraith pilot
DarkCorax - Wraith pilot
dragonprime - Ghost
Ezlo - Science vessel
Fleeing Coward - Marine
Hoggy - Pirate, Wraith pilot
Krursk - Battleship commander
pingcode20 (Major Pingcode) - Siege tank commander
radikalskippy - Firebat
Traveling Angel - Reaper

Protoss
Akaziel - Twilight Archon
Atreyu - Executor
Indurain - Zealot
Almighty Salmon - Probe
Destro Yersul - Dark Templar
Draken - High Templar
huyneo - Immortal
Mad Wizard - Carrier commander
Neodan282 - Dark Archon
RocketBard - Zealot
Therarde - Dragoon
Vampiric - Zealot

Zerg
Ink - Mutalisk
Baboon Army - Mutated baboon
Calamity - Mutalisk
Castaras - Defiler
evnafets - Cerebrate
Fredricus - Hydralisk
HyramGraff - Hydralisk
Khaldan - Zergling
Lord Fullbladder - Zergling
Raiser B1ade - Hydralisk
Stu42 - Ultralisk
Zar Peter - Piano Zergling


The Terrans are out, as the last Terran, Hoggy, is dead. It's now between Ink and the three surviving Protoss.


edit: Note that I've added a paragraph to last round's story, which corrects a mistake I made (Indurain died in the story, while Neodan282 should be dead).


Please submit your actions before Friday, 17:00 GMT.

[huyneo]

oh snaps, who is gonna win!?!??!

[Hoggy]

NO DAMN ALIEN IS GONNA BEAT THE TERRANS!

I'm sure I feel a 300 reference coming on, but can't quite place it.

Anyways, you people should have over-estimated my intelligence. Or something. I dunno.

[Therarde]

Sweet! Go protoss!

[Ink]

This sums up how I feel right now.

http://i74.photobucket.com/albums/i244/Ink_avatars/targettrias.gif

[Krursk]

Umm, aren't hotels red? Only Atreyu appears to have a green one.

[Lord Herman]

Curses! I have indeed mixed up the colours of houses and hotels. I'll fix it right away.

[banjo1985]

Go Ink, you've got em right where you want em! :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Herman]

I've made a new medal - the Seppuku Badge. It's awarded to the player who has died from shooting himself the most. Fleeing Coward, who had died by his own hand six times now, will receive it at the end of this round.

Behold: http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/LimeGold.png

[Almighty Salmon]

Seriously? Fleeing Coward win something? :smallbiggrin:

I guess it was inevitable. Well done.. for killing yourself most.

[Skippy]

Comitting Sepukku is funnier in a Samurai context, such as in that particular round when I dishonored myself before the emperor...

[Lord Herman]

Actions are in, writing now.

[Lord Herman]

Indurain is bored. There doesn’t seem to be anyone left to fight, and fighting is all a zealot does. He looks around the base, looking for something to do. Finally, he has an idea. “Look out air... I’m coming to get ya!” says Indurain, as he activates the controls of one of the base’s photon cannons. The zealot idly fires some shots into the air, blowing apart clouds and obliterating an unfortunate bird that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Now we play with normal rules, okay? So no more ‘give all your money to the executor’ chance cards, or I’m not playing.” Atreyu sighs and nods. “Right. I’m the car.” The llama bleats angrily. “No, I’m the car! You were the car last time!” Atreyu suddenly sinks his teeth into Akaziel’s hand. “Alright, alright, you can be the car! Let go! Ow!”

With the cerebrate dead, Ink isn’t sure what to do. Then he remembers the words of Hydralisk Joe: “Knowing is half the consumption of all organic matter.” He flies towards the Protoss base, to see what they are doing. As he makes a pass over the base, a proton burst whizzes past his wing. Down below, Indurain is waiting for the proton cannon to recharge, as Ink swoops down at the zealot’s position. Another shot barely misses the mutalisk, and he returns fire. He fires a glave wurm at Indurain, neatly decapitating him.

[Lord Herman]

{table]Protoss|Action
Akaziel|Air
Atreyu|Air
Indurain|Air
Zerg|Action
Ink|Indurain[/table]


Terran
alec - Vulture
banjo1985 - Marine
Bookboy - Wraith pilot
DarkCorax - Wraith pilot
dragonprime - Ghost
Ezlo - Science vessel
Fleeing Coward - Marine
Hoggy - Pirate, Wraith pilot
Krursk - Battleship commander
pingcode20 (Major Pingcode) - Siege tank commander
radikalskippy - Firebat
Traveling Angel - Reaper

Protoss
Akaziel - Twilight Archon
Atreyu - Executor
Almighty Salmon - Probe
Destro Yersul - Dark Templar
Draken - High Templar
huyneo - Immortal
Indurain - Zealot
Mad Wizard - Carrier commander
Neodan282 - Dark Archon
RocketBard - Zealot
Therarde - Dragoon
Vampiric - Zealot

Zerg
Ink - Mutalisk
Baboon Army - Mutated baboon
Calamity - Mutalisk
Castaras - Defiler
evnafets - Cerebrate
Fredricus - Hydralisk
HyramGraff - Hydralisk
Khaldan - Zergling
Lord Fullbladder - Zergling
Raiser B1ade - Hydralisk
Stu42 - Ultralisk
Zar Peter - Piano Zergling


Please submit your actions before Sunday, 17:00 GMT.

[Indurain]

Well...I knew if one of us was going to die it was going to be, but I figured Ink would suicide. Shows what I know. Well played...this round.

*kicks over the Monopoly board*

AVENGE ME FOOLS!

[huyneo]

oh snaps, his decapitated body hit the monopoly board, you guys totally have
to do something now.

[Ezlo]

Noooooooooo! Not the Monoploy! That was great!

[Lord Herman]

All the actions are in.

Write, write, write, write the story for Team RAF!

[Lord Herman]

Ink is flying around the Protoss base, which now seems devoid of life. He’s about to leave, as he hears raised voices (and bleats) from one of the larger buildings.

“Two houses? That’s 500 dollars! Fine, here’s your money.” Akaziel is counting his remaining cash, as suddenly the decapitated body of Indurain stumbles into the room and kicks over the monopoly board, shouting: “AVENGE ME, FOOLS!” As the headless zealot collapses, Akaziel says: “He has a point, Atreyu. There’s a bunch Zerg out there that need to be taught a lesson. And don’t forget why we’re here – we still need to retrieve the artefact.” Atreyu looks at the large pile of money in front of him, and bleats. “No, not because I’m losing! Because there are more important things going on than our game! If we don’t stop the zerg...” Atreyu bleats again, and grins. “Oh, that does it! I’m going to bankrupt you, executor!”

[Lord Herman]

{table]Protoss|Action
Akaziel|Air
Atreyu|Air
Zerg|Action
Ink|Air[/table]


Terran
alec - Vulture
banjo1985 - Marine
Bookboy - Wraith pilot
DarkCorax - Wraith pilot
dragonprime - Ghost
Ezlo - Science vessel
Fleeing Coward - Marine
Hoggy - Pirate, Wraith pilot
Krursk - Battleship commander
pingcode20 (Major Pingcode) - Siege tank commander
radikalskippy - Firebat
Traveling Angel - Reaper

Protoss
Akaziel - Twilight Archon
Atreyu - Executor
Almighty Salmon - Probe
Destro Yersul - Dark Templar
Draken - High Templar
huyneo - Immortal
Indurain - Zealot
Mad Wizard - Carrier commander
Neodan282 - Dark Archon
RocketBard - Zealot
Therarde - Dragoon
Vampiric - Zealot

Zerg
Ink - Mutalisk
Baboon Army - Mutated baboon
Calamity - Mutalisk
Castaras - Defiler
evnafets - Cerebrate
Fredricus - Hydralisk
HyramGraff - Hydralisk
Khaldan - Zergling
Lord Fullbladder - Zergling
Raiser B1ade - Hydralisk
Stu42 - Ultralisk
Zar Peter - Piano Zergling


Please submit your actions before Monday, 17:00 GMT.

[Castaras]

We want blood! We want blood! We want blood![/chant]

[Vampiric]

*un-/chant*:smallamused:

We want blood! We want blood! We want blood!

etc. etc. :smallwink:

[Lord Herman]

Wow, we're now in the sixth round of this... uh, round (we really need different names for full games of Team RAF and rounds of actions). That means that this is now the second longest round we've had so far - only round II (Star Wars) was longer, with 8 rounds.

[Castaras]

Team Ready, Aim, Fire! Level 7?

Team Ready, Aim, Fire! Shooty thing 7?

Team Ready, Aim, Fire! <noun> 7?

[Lord Herman]

Okay, I think I know what to do with the 'round' mess. I'll simply remove the word 'round' from the title, and use roman numerals. When referring to a full game of Team RAF, I'll simply say 'game'. So this is the seventh game of Team RAF, and the title is 'Team Ready, Aim, Fire! VII'.

That should clear things up. I'll update the rules and the Team RAF page on my site accordingly.

[Ink]

Ink decides to join the Protoss in playing Monopoly. I'll be the boot! Let the battle be decided on the Monopoly board! :smallbiggrin:

Edit:

Akaziel is counting his remaining cash, as suddenly the decapitated body of Indurain stumbles into the room and kicks over the monopoly board, shouting: “AVENGE ME, FOOLS!”

How does a decapitated body shout?

[Lord Herman]

Protoss are psychic. I guess his head psi-shouted at them while his body stumbled in. Or something. Shush.


I have all your actions, so I will now perform the amazing feat of writing the story and watching Firefly at the same time.

Or maybe not. Maybe I'll finish this episode first, and then write the story.

edit: Also, Firefly is officially awesome.

[Indurain]

edit: Also, Firefly is officially awesome.

Well, duh!

[Lord Herman]

Hovering above the ground, the gleaming metal shape moves around slowly, as if unsure where to land. It bobs a bit, the moves quickly to the left, and appears to set down, before suddenly flying up again. Atreyu sighs and points at ‘free parking’ on the board. “I knew that,” says Akaziel, as he sets down the little metal top hat. “Three plus five. Seven.” The llama bleats again. “Eight.”

Executor Atreyu is just about to roll the dice, as suddenly, a mutalisk crashes into the room. Atreyu quickly hides under a table, while Akaziel gets ready for battle. As Ink gets up, Akaziel says: “Huh. That’s funny.” Atreyu bleats askingly. “He’s challenging us. For a game of Monopoly. The winner takes the artefact.” The executor shrugs and nods.

Screeches and bleats fill the room. “Gentlemen, GENTLEMEN! Look, there’s only one boot. Executor, you got to choose last time, so it’s only fair that the mutalisk can play the boot now. Besides, didn’t you want to play the car last time? And the train before that?” Atreyu bleats grumpily, and points at one of the little metal playing figures. “What? The hat? No way, I’m the hat!” Akaziel suddenly finds himself the target of angry bleats and screeches. “Alright, alright, you can be the hat! I’ll be the wheelbarrow. Fine.”

Ink screeches happily as the hat lands on Park Place. “Well, that’s it, Atreyu. You’re broke.” The llama looks at the board, and then at Ink. He bleats loudly, and suddenly starts throwing houses and hotels at the mutalisk. “Stop it! Atreyu, he beat you fair and square! Atreyu!” Akaziel tries to grab the executor, but the llama is too quick. He leaps at Ink, and bites him in the wing. “Atreyu!” The mutalisk flaps around wildly, while Atreyu firmly holds on to the wing. Suddenly, a piece of the wing tears off, and the llama is thrown across the room, right into a high-tech console. It explodes and fries Atreyu.

“You killed Atreyu! That’s... that’s cheating!” Ink shrugs and screeches apologetically. “Yeah, of course it was an accident. You’re gonna pay for this.” Akaziel hands Ink a pair of dice. “Your turn.”

“And that’s another 200 bucks. Things aren’t looking well for you, zerg boy!” Akaziel is about to roll the dice as one of the consoles starts bleeping. “Oh, right, the fleet.” The archon taps the console. “Akaziel? Is that you? We have things under control up here. The enemy fleet has been destroyed. How is your battle with the Zerg going?” “Very well. I have Park Place and Boardwalk firmly under my control, and the enemy is down to 160 dollars.” “Wait a second, did you say...” “I’m awfully sorry, admiral, but it’s my turn.”

Akaziel taps the console again, and rolls the dice. “Ah, chance card! ‘All Zerg players have to do the Hokey Pokey or pay 200 dollars to the bank.’” Ink looks around, and screeches. “You don’t know the Hokey Pokey? It’s simple. You put your left leg in, you put you left leg out... oh wait, you don’t have any legs! How unfortunate. That’ll be 200 bucks for the bank!” Ink screeches suspiciously. “Yes, that’s what it says, ‘do the Hokey Pokey’. Too bad the overmind didn’t bother to teach you how to read, or you could check for yourself. Oh well, I guess that means you’re broke.” The mutalisk screeches angrily, and flaps out of the building, where he is promptly shot by a squadron of interceptors.

“Well, admiral, I guess it’s time we went to that canyon and retrieve the artefact.” “Indeed, Akaziel. If it’s really what we think it is, we will have the perfect weapon to turn the tide against the Zerg! Imagine, the psiblade of Adun himself!” As the shuttle lands in the canyon, the archon and the admiral step out and slowly approach the shiny thing. “Hmm, interesting,” says Akaziel. “Is it the blade?” says the admiral. “It would seem we have found... a spoon. A very shiny one.” “Oh. Well, best take it with us, then. We’re short on spoons.” “Uhm, sir?” “Yes?” “We’re Protoss. We don’t have mouths. What could we possibly need spoons for?” “Good point. That explains why we don’t have any. Well, let’s take it with us anyway.”

And so ended the Battle of the Shiny Spoon. The spoon itself was put on display on the new Protoss homeworld of Shakuras, accompanied by a plaque that reminds executors to ‘bloody well take some basic scans of the target before you lose an entire taskforce fighting for a spoon’.

[Lord Herman]

{table]Protoss|Actions
Akaziel|Ink
Atreyu|Air
Zerg|Actions
Ink|Atreyu[/table]

The last Zerg is dead! Akaziel is the only survivor, so the Protoss win!


The trophies:

{table]Trophy|Winner
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/WinBronze.png Winning team|Protoss
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/WinSilver.png Surviving winner|Akaziel
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/WinGold.png Most wins|HyramGraff
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/RedSilver.png Most kills|pingcode20 (4 kills)
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/RedGold.png Most kills overall|Three-way tie
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/GreenSilver.png Survival|Akaziel, Ink
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/GreenGold.png Survival overall|pingcode20 (15 rounds)
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/BlueSilver.png Pacifist|Atreyu (4 airshots)
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/BlueGold.png Pacifist overall|pingcode20 (11 airshots)
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/PurpleSilver.png Shot at most|evnafets, pingcode20 (4 times)
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/PurpleGold.png Shot at most overall|Tie between Atreyu and Moon Called
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/YellowSilver.png Not shot at most|Akaziel (6 rounds)
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/YellowGold.png Not shot at most overall|pingcode20 (15 rounds)
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/BlackGold.png First round casualty|Three-way tie
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/LimeGold.png Most deaths by suicide|Fleeing Coward (6 deaths)
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/OrangeGold.png Most effective suicide|Three-way tie
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/BrownGold.png Largest lynch mob|Tie between Moon Called and Akaziel
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/MagentaGold.png Longest chain of kills|Ink (7 kills)
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/MagentaSilver.png Longest chain of kills|Gezina, Akaziel, Captain van der Decken, Atreyu, firepup, Raiser B1ade, Lord Fullbladder
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/WhiteGold.png Sole survivor|Raiser B1ade (6 rounds)
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation1.png 1 round participation|
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation2.png 2 round participation|
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation3.png 3 round participation|
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation4.png 4 round participation|
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation5.png 5 round participation|
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation6.png 6 round participation|
http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/TeamRAF/Participation7.png 7 round participation|[/table]

If you're not sure which trophies you've won, look here (http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/Gallery/TeamRAF.html).


Congratulations to Akaziel and the other Protoss. The next game starts tomorrow, and the theme will be Wild West. I'm not sure what the teams will be, but I'll figure that out tomorrow.

[Akaziel]

Yay! I actually survived this round! Great game everyone!

[Lord Herman]

The official list of medals and other shiny things has been updated to include medals for this game*.

* See how I'm saying 'game' instead of 'round'?

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Curse that Overmind. If it had just taught us how to read, Ink would have gone all the way! Why must the ruling parties always be so foolish?!

[pingcode20]

Yay! I've still got the most medals! Even after the compression!

[Vampiric]

How did you put them all in one picture, pingcode?

[Akaziel]

I believe he pressed "Print Screen" and pasted it into MS Paint and just copied and pasted the part with his trophies into a new image.

[Vampiric]

Ah. ok. Thanks.

[Ink]

Great ending! It's rather fitting that Akaziel is the sole survivor, considering the crap that his character had to go through in this game. Nice writing, Herman. Two thumbs up! Or claws... or whatever Zerg digits.

[Atreyu the Masked LLama]

He had it rough??? Do you know how hard it is to roll 2D6 with hooves??

Great story Lord Herman and it was a lot of fun to fight against you, Ink.