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Black Jester
2018-02-22, 03:42 AM
I run an RPG Club at our local school, and like every times I start a new group, I ask the kids what they like to see in their game and what should be avoided. Usually the kids write down pretty standard things - the girls want magic stuff, the boys prefer more martial affairs, both are interested in adventure, treasure and monsters - but this time one actually surprised me: In the category of "things that should be avoided she wrote Talking Beer. I have no idea why, but obviously for the last three days I was basically forced to think about how to include sentient, talking beer in a game (not in the kids game, obviously). So, brainstorm with me: what is talking beer and how could it be important in a fantasy campaign?

RazorChain
2018-02-22, 03:50 AM
Talking BEAR silly! The person misspelled it.

Just watch out for smelling pistakes.

Rakaydos
2018-02-22, 03:58 AM
"Why did you say that?"

"Oh, it was just the beer talking."

RFLS
2018-02-22, 04:01 AM
She may have meant that she doesn't want alcohol to be discussed in game.

JellyPooga
2018-02-22, 05:00 AM
I wouldn't want talking beer in my campaigns either. Imagine the horror of drinking it...slowly. O_O

"Aah! No! Not the head! My creamy creamy head!"
"But you're so tasty"
"Arrghlfh!"
"Mmmm, refreshing too"
"Please stop, I can still have a life as a half"
"Sorry buddy, you're going down. It's been hell of a ride"
*chug*

Lvl 2 Expert
2018-02-22, 07:53 AM
Maybe it's a wish granting spirit from a bottle?

Grod_The_Giant
2018-02-22, 08:20 AM
I wouldn't want talking beer in my campaigns either. Imagine the horror of drinking it...slowly. O_O

"Aah! No! Not the head! My creamy creamy head!"
"But you're so tasty"
"Arrghlfh!"
"Mmmm, refreshing too"
"Please stop, I can still have a life as a half"
"Sorry buddy, you're going down. It's been hell of a ride"
*chug*
Better or worse than the other way around?

"C'mon, drink me!"
"What? No! You're alive!"
"Alive and delicious!"
"I can't do that!"
"Oh, come on, I'm so refreshing!"

NRSASD
2018-02-22, 08:49 AM
I think RFLS has the right of it.

Honestly though, I've been a DM for a long time and I thought I've seen it all. That though... that's a new one.

PrismCat21
2018-02-22, 08:55 AM
I clicked this thread because I read The mysterious Talking 'Bear', not beer.
I'm not sure if this is worse or about the same level of silly I envisioned. :/

JellyPooga
2018-02-22, 10:37 AM
Better or worse than the other way around?

"C'mon, drink me!"
"What? No! You're alive!"
"Alive and delicious!"
"I can't do that!"
"Oh, come on, I'm so refreshing!"

Hmm, I don't know. What if it was a nihilist beer?

"I don't care man...drink me, don't drink me. It's all the same in the end."
"You're such a downer, BeerMan. I need a drink"

Telonius
2018-02-22, 11:29 AM
Sounds like an Intelligent Everfull Mug to me.

I would be completely shocked if there were not some kind of item like this in Portable Hole Full of Beer.

JeenLeen
2018-02-22, 11:35 AM
So, brainstorm with me: what is talking beer

I agree that it was likely a typo, especially if these are younger kids, and meant talking bears. To be on the safe side, I'd recommend avoiding alcohol and loquacious ursines.
On a serious note, I can see a kid having, for some reason or another, a fear of talking bears. Maybe some horror movie, or a kids story that really frightened them, and it meaning a lot to their enjoyment that it not be in the game. Especially if they might visibly show fear and get teased about it by the other kids.


and how could it be important in a fantasy campaign?
But, going with talking beer, I can see it, for some reason or another, the sentient being that is behind some plot. Kinda silly, but likely to not be noticed.

To take it darker, maybe the drunks in town are hearing voices from their drink, leading them to dark actions when drinking. The beer is a hivemind from the brewery, led by an evil cultist, trying to corrupt the town (or just get its citizens to turn on one another) by putting suggestions and impulses into those who drink it.

Hmm... I might actually use that in a game I'm been thinking of.

JellyPooga
2018-02-22, 11:45 AM
To take it darker, maybe the drunks in town are hearing voices from their drink, leading them to dark actions when drinking. The beer is a hivemind from the brewery, led by an evil cultist, trying to corrupt the town (or just get its citizens to turn on one another) by putting suggestions and impulses into those who drink it.

Hmm... I might actually use that in a game I'm been thinking of.

That...that's a terrifying plot. A beer-y hivemind...*shudder* Must be a mead.

BBQ Pork
2018-02-22, 12:07 PM
Hmmm......

Myconid variants. Spores... Yeast used in brewing....?

Black Jester
2018-02-22, 12:25 PM
Considering that our school is in Northern Germany, I'm pretty sure that it was not a spelling error (sprechendes Bier und sprechender Bär are quite differrent).
I just found the idea too cute for not sharing it.

Lord Torath
2018-02-22, 12:28 PM
Yeah, I'd recommend asking the girl what she really meant.

Still, talking beer would be hilarious. A Beer Elemental? A Beer Weird, instead of a Water Weird?

JeenLeen
2018-02-22, 01:43 PM
Considering that our school is in Northern Germany, I'm pretty sure that it was not a spelling error (sprechendes Bier und sprechender Bär are quite differrent).
I just found the idea too cute for not sharing it.

In English, "talking beer" could mean (although it would be an unusual phrasing) "the act of talking about beer", like talking sports, or "beer that talks". Does that ambiguity exist in the German words, too?

Koo Rehtorb
2018-02-22, 01:45 PM
She probably meant bear and probably heard about Sir Bearington.

PrismCat21
2018-02-22, 01:50 PM
On a serious note, I can see a kid having, for some reason or another, a fear of talking bears. Maybe some horror movie, or a kids story that really frightened them, and it meaning a lot to their enjoyment that it not be in the game. Especially if they might visibly show fear and get teased about it by the other kids.

The Berenstain Bears could be quite horrifying at times. Didn't you ever read: The Berenstain Bears In The DARK?

Yora
2018-02-22, 02:32 PM
In English, "talking beer" could mean (although it would be an unusual phrasing) "the act of talking about beer", like talking sports, or "beer that talks". Does that ambiguity exist in the German words, too?

No, that doesn't work. I really can't think of anything it could mean except beer that is talking.

Maybe it's a really bad script and supposed to be a T and not a B, in which it would be "talking animal".

Joe the Rat
2018-02-22, 02:51 PM
That was my best guess (tier), but that's one hell of a handwriting typo.

I fully support the introducing a sentient hivemind yeast colony beer to any fantasy setting. Comedy, horror, it's all good.

Nupo
2018-02-22, 02:58 PM
"C'mon, drink me!"..."Oh, come on, I'm so refreshing!"

Beer says that to me all the time. In fact I swear I can hear the muffled voice of one in the refrigerator saying that right now.

FreddyNoNose
2018-02-22, 03:20 PM
Yeah, I'd recommend asking the girl what she really meant.

Still, talking beer would be hilarious. A Beer Elemental? A Beer Weird, instead of a Water Weird?

And the whole avoiding them. Does that mean you have to find a way to work around them? Or she doesn't want to encounter one?

Oh, perhaps the start of the campaign is a celebration of the elimination of all Talking Beers. The decade long battle finally came to a head, their leader, the great kegger, was smashed upon the ground and died. Nobody cried over spilled beer.

Mastikator
2018-02-22, 04:35 PM
Better or worse than the other way around?

"C'mon, drink me!"
"What? No! You're alive!"
"Alive and delicious!"
"I can't do that!"
"Oh, come on, I'm so refreshing!"

"Okay I'll do it"
"AHAHAHAHA I live inside you now"

ka_bna
2018-02-22, 05:46 PM
That...that's a terrifying plot. A beer-y hivemind...*shudder* Must be a mead.

The talking beer is a mishap from a drunk wizard, trying to Awaken a bear. The beer, groggy with it's newfound intelligence, took revenge by letting himself get drunk by the wizard. In the stomach of said wizard, it took the soul of the wizard.

Now the beer is trying to lure travellers into drinking the beer, and then taking their souls. It most happily preys on magical souls (like wizards), because it believes if it intoxicates itself with enough magical souls, it will end its grogginess by becoming a non-sentient beer again.

In a totally unrelated plot, a talking beer became president and passed a law that makes it legal to arm beers.

Joe the Rat
2018-02-23, 09:38 AM
But how does the beer get out?

...nevermind.

Guizonde
2018-02-23, 10:47 AM
gives a whole new spin on the phrase "oh, beer, you're the only one that really understands me..."

prepare googly eyes when the beer inevitably responds with "of course, you're too sober for this silliness."

i'd go with beer elementals for followers of cayden caillean or brewers, but that beer hivemind is too scary to think about. i love it!

ka_bna
2018-02-23, 04:54 PM
But how does the beer get out?

...nevermind.

Finding out is one sidequest the party does not want.

FreddyNoNose
2018-02-23, 06:48 PM
But how does the beer get out?

...nevermind.

They say you only rent beer, does that turn a bar into a brothel?....

denthor
2018-02-23, 09:13 PM
Maybe? Rich did something that you might like.

Click on the comic then click on the ! MARK IN THE CENTER

About third down is incentive comics.

Just scroll though those you will see Elan& Durkon.

The joke is right there I am on my phone or I would provide a link

Kuroten
2018-02-23, 09:23 PM
Maybe? Rich did something that you might like.

Click on the comic then click on the ! MARK IN THE CENTER

About third down is incentive comics.

Just scroll though those you will see Elan& Durkon.

The joke is right there I am on my phone or I would provide a link

Here it is:
http://www.giantitp.com/Images/bcx/MagicItems010.gif

On the OP's post: Not sure what sort of campaign could become of this idea of sentient beer, but I am sure it'd involve dwarves. Somehow. Dwarven nightmares come to life? Dreamscape travellers!

PrismCat21
2018-02-24, 12:03 AM
"Okay I'll do it"
"AHAHAHAHA I live inside you now"

I feel this image is relevant :D
https://static.simpsonswiki.com/images/thumb/2/29/Futurama_-_Homer_on_Bender%27s_sash.png/250px-Futurama_-_Homer_on_Bender%27s_sash.png

DavidSh
2018-02-24, 12:40 PM
I was thinking the Talking Beer was the special brew you serve to someone you are trying to get to spill his secrets.

jhonny
2018-02-24, 10:39 PM
I was thinking the Talking Beer was the special brew you serve to someone you are trying to get to spill his secrets.

A good way of think about that.

I also think that is possible to a person that drink the talking beer get drunk immediately and in dazed state starting to talking to himself only like a lot of drunken people do, losing a lot of face maybe ^^.

Kaptin Keen
2018-02-25, 02:20 AM
In Unsounded - which is a webcomic everyone should read - there is a momentary burst of spirits released from the khert (somewhat akin to the astral) that haunt all manner of things, including a cup of coffee. It has been known ever since as the 'friendly cup'.

Not generally a silly comic, it tends more towards gruesome. But with a dash of humor.

Max_Killjoy
2018-02-25, 10:50 AM
Isn't there a talking polar bear in some kids movie from the last decade?

PrismCat21
2018-02-25, 07:37 PM
Isn't there a talking polar bear in some kids movie from the last decade?

The Golden Compass (2007) He was also a blacksmith I believe

2D8HP
2018-02-25, 08:21 PM
Frankly beer talks to me a lot.

Mostly it says, "Why not linger and have another beer?", and "You can totally post the first things that come to mind, don't bother hitting preview!".

Lvl 2 Expert
2018-02-26, 01:50 AM
Frankly beer talks to me a lot.

Mostly it says, "Why not linger and have another beer?", and "You can totally post the first things that come to mind, don't bother hitting preview!".


"You should text your ex Frank, she might be feeling lonely tonight as well."

Joe the Rat
2018-02-26, 12:46 PM
See, that's why I've switched to wine for my DMing drink. It doesn't give me bad beer advice.

The fact it looks like a blend of blood and player's tears is purely coincidental.

Or that it suggests adding more monsters to each encounter.

Or that I should cover the ceiling in gelatinous cubes and add a reverse gravity trap.

Hrrm.

Segev
2018-02-26, 12:50 PM
The only thing beer ever says to me is, "I'd be a delicious bread."
3 cups self-rising flour
5 tablespoons sugar
1 standard bottle of beer (dark or honey bears work best, in my opinion)

Mix in a bowl, then put dough in a loaf pan. Bake at 350 degrees F for 30 min., then pour half a cup of melted butter over the top, and cook for another 30-35 minutes.

Warning: this is messy, sticky dough. I mix it by hand, because trying to stir it doesn't work well for me, but you'll have to scrape parts of it off to get it into the loaf pan.

As for talking beer in a more whimsical sense, maybe it's a magical oracular brew that whispers vague prophecies in the sound of the fiz, and studying its head and fix patterns can give a bit more context, but the drunken hallucinations one gets from overindulging let one see the visions of the events proper. If only you could remember clearly when you woke up, or anybody could understand your drunken ravings while you see it...