Crisis21
2018-02-27, 01:32 PM
Wishes have long been a part of D&D, but between DMs who refuse to grant even the most benevolent of wishes without a sadistic streak and players who write up wishes that could pass for legal documents to pre-emptively counter any loopholes the DM can exploit, they've kind of gotten a bad reputation. So, here's my attempt to see if Wishes can be made fun and interesting again.
While I myself tend to homebrew for 5e, I have done my best to present these in terms that are system-independent so these Wishes can be used in any game system. The inspiration for these came from the Ranma 1/2 fanfic Only Half A Wish (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/787052/1/Only-Half-A-Wish), which itself was apparently inspired by an old Dragon Magazine article on defective wishes (if anyone reading this knows which article, please send me a link so I can read it myself because I'd really like to).
As always, Please Evaluate And Comment Honestly. I really Wish you would. :P
Wishes
Wishes are characterized by two things: Wording and Intent. The wording is obvious, it is the phrase and language the wisher uses to make their request of the wish-granter. Intent on the other hand is why they make the wish they do and should be every bit as important to the wish-granting process as the wording.
In the case of wording, no DM wants to deal with a several-hundred word (or longer!) wish crafted to legal perfection to eliminate all possible alternative explanations. Therefore, all wishes should be made under the same limits as a Sending spell: 25 words or less. In exchange for this consideration from the player, the DM agrees to take the Wish's underlying Intent into account when granting it.
In the case of intent, a DM should ask a player why their character would want what they are wishing for, with as much detail and roleplaying background as is practical. Never accept lazy circular reasoning such as a character wishing for great wealth 'because they want to be rich'. There should always be a deeper desire behind the wording of a Wish, even if it is something inherently petty and juvenile such as 'so I can lord it over everyone who made fun of me as a kid'.
In addition to this, if the Wish is being granted by an intelligent spirit of some sort, such as a Djinni, then the spirit's personal interpretation of the wording and the intent (have fun with cultural differences and any slang used!) may also be taken into account as well.
The standard rule of thumb for DMs and allowing Wishes to their players is this: If there is something you don't want the players to be able to do with a Wish, then don't give them access to a Wish capable of accomplishing it in the first place. To that end, here are a selection of half-baked Wish types for DMs to spring on their half-baked adventurers:
Limited Wish
Limited Wishes are much like normal Wishes. They follow the wording of the wisher's request to the letter and attempt to fulfill the underlying intent within the limits of the wording provided. However, the wish granter is limited in their power in some fashion. Standard limits may include one or more of the following:
Unable to directly kill any living creature.
Unable to directly alter the mind of any intelligent creature (i.e. no making someone fall in love with you, no making someone stop hating you, no changing and intelligent creature's alignment).
Unable to raise the dead in any fashion (though some wish granters can animate the corpse of the target as a type of non-intelligent undead and if requested to return an individual to life will be forced to do this instead).
Unable to replicate the effects of any spell over a certain level (ex. Sixth or higher)
Unable to travel through time.
Unable to alter reality on a wide scale (ex. If a wisher asks to be made royalty, they could be given all the usual trappings of royalty, but the wish granter would be unable to create an entire nation out of thin air).
The DM should feel free to come up with any arbitrary limitation they feel necessary to prevent players from breaking the campaign. However, they must still grant the Wish as close to the wording and intent of the wisher as possible within the limits set. If they are unwilling to do this much for a Limited Wish, then I humbly suggest giving the players one of the Wish options below instead.
Credit Limit Wish
Credit Limit Wishes are relatively simple. They can grant any request as worded and intended up to a certain monetary value, typically (4d4+4)x1000 gp. However, Credit Wishes with higher or lower limits are not unheard of and a DM should feel free to set whatever monetary limit they deem appropriate (whether by rolling different dice or just setting a flat rate). If requesting the effects of a spell, the Wish should treat the value as the wisher hiring a spellcaster to cast the spell for them at the going rate of an average hirable spellcaster capable of casting the spell. If wishing for the death of an enemy, price it as if hiring a generic local assassin or mercenary capable and willing to take the job. If wishing for something like a house, the Wish should take into account current market prices. The wisher is not allowed to haggle the price determined by the magic of the Wish. The wisher is not allowed to haggle the price determined by the magic of the Wish, nor are they compensated for any difference in value between their Wish and the monetary limit of the spell if they wish for less than the spell is capable of granting.
Half Wish
A Half Wish is exactly what it sounds like. The wisher gets exactly half of what they wish for, but which half might be up in the air for a few minutes and may depend on the choice of the wisher. For example, if the wisher desires to marry the beautiful princess and live happily ever after, they might marry the princess and lead a miserable life, marry someone else and live a happy life, or become the princess's concubine or secret lover and live a mediocre life that's neither particularly happy nor miserable.
Monkey's Paw Wish
A Monkey's Paw Wish follows the wisher's wording to the letter, but it completely subverts the intent of the Wish. For example, an elderly couple wishes for wealth so that they can live their remaining years comfortably and then will the rest to their son. However, the Wish grants their request in such a way that the wealth comes about as a result of their son's death, thus they get exactly what they asked for but in a manner that prevents them from getting what they wanted.
When granting a Monkey's Paw Wish, a DM should feel free to be as cruel and sadistic as possible in twisting, subverting, or even outright ignoring the intent behind the Wish. Because that's what a Monkey's Paw Wish is all about.
Overkill Wish
Overkill Wishes are textbook examples of 'be careful what you wish for'. If you wish for a burger, you might end up with a literal mountain of food dumped on you. If you wish to be free of a magical effect, the Wish might drop an Antimagic field on you that is many miles in radius and set to last for a few hundred years. It gets the job done, sure, but if an Overkill Wish is ever granted without potential long-term problems, likely severe ones, the DM may not be doing their job right.
'True Desire' Wish
Wishes that purport to grant the wisher's true desire manifest in odd and sometimes nonsensical ways. They will fulfill the underlying intent of the Wish, but they will always completely and deliberately ignore the wording. For example, if someone wishes to marry well with the intent that the marriage will bring glory and honor to themselves and their homeland, the wish will manifest in a way that makes the desired marriage impossible, but still allows the character to gain glory and honor for themselves and their homeland.
Hard of Hearing Wish
Hard of Hearing Wishes try their best to fulfill the underlying intent of the wisher's request, but they have an annoying tendency to misinterpret the wording of the wish in the most hilarious ways. DMs, your only guideline for this should be 'do whatever is funny'.
Reversal Wish
Reversal Wishes can be extremely dangerous. At first they seem to grant the wisher's request as intended, but after a period of time (1d10 days, months, years, or DM's discretion), the effects of the wish are inverted. A wish for riches invariably ends in poverty and destitution, a wish for loyalty will likely end in betrayal and a wish for love may turn to hate, resentment, or the dreaded 'let's just be friends' talk. The DM has full discretion on what it means to invert the effects of the wish.
While I myself tend to homebrew for 5e, I have done my best to present these in terms that are system-independent so these Wishes can be used in any game system. The inspiration for these came from the Ranma 1/2 fanfic Only Half A Wish (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/787052/1/Only-Half-A-Wish), which itself was apparently inspired by an old Dragon Magazine article on defective wishes (if anyone reading this knows which article, please send me a link so I can read it myself because I'd really like to).
As always, Please Evaluate And Comment Honestly. I really Wish you would. :P
Wishes
Wishes are characterized by two things: Wording and Intent. The wording is obvious, it is the phrase and language the wisher uses to make their request of the wish-granter. Intent on the other hand is why they make the wish they do and should be every bit as important to the wish-granting process as the wording.
In the case of wording, no DM wants to deal with a several-hundred word (or longer!) wish crafted to legal perfection to eliminate all possible alternative explanations. Therefore, all wishes should be made under the same limits as a Sending spell: 25 words or less. In exchange for this consideration from the player, the DM agrees to take the Wish's underlying Intent into account when granting it.
In the case of intent, a DM should ask a player why their character would want what they are wishing for, with as much detail and roleplaying background as is practical. Never accept lazy circular reasoning such as a character wishing for great wealth 'because they want to be rich'. There should always be a deeper desire behind the wording of a Wish, even if it is something inherently petty and juvenile such as 'so I can lord it over everyone who made fun of me as a kid'.
In addition to this, if the Wish is being granted by an intelligent spirit of some sort, such as a Djinni, then the spirit's personal interpretation of the wording and the intent (have fun with cultural differences and any slang used!) may also be taken into account as well.
The standard rule of thumb for DMs and allowing Wishes to their players is this: If there is something you don't want the players to be able to do with a Wish, then don't give them access to a Wish capable of accomplishing it in the first place. To that end, here are a selection of half-baked Wish types for DMs to spring on their half-baked adventurers:
Limited Wish
Limited Wishes are much like normal Wishes. They follow the wording of the wisher's request to the letter and attempt to fulfill the underlying intent within the limits of the wording provided. However, the wish granter is limited in their power in some fashion. Standard limits may include one or more of the following:
Unable to directly kill any living creature.
Unable to directly alter the mind of any intelligent creature (i.e. no making someone fall in love with you, no making someone stop hating you, no changing and intelligent creature's alignment).
Unable to raise the dead in any fashion (though some wish granters can animate the corpse of the target as a type of non-intelligent undead and if requested to return an individual to life will be forced to do this instead).
Unable to replicate the effects of any spell over a certain level (ex. Sixth or higher)
Unable to travel through time.
Unable to alter reality on a wide scale (ex. If a wisher asks to be made royalty, they could be given all the usual trappings of royalty, but the wish granter would be unable to create an entire nation out of thin air).
The DM should feel free to come up with any arbitrary limitation they feel necessary to prevent players from breaking the campaign. However, they must still grant the Wish as close to the wording and intent of the wisher as possible within the limits set. If they are unwilling to do this much for a Limited Wish, then I humbly suggest giving the players one of the Wish options below instead.
Credit Limit Wish
Credit Limit Wishes are relatively simple. They can grant any request as worded and intended up to a certain monetary value, typically (4d4+4)x1000 gp. However, Credit Wishes with higher or lower limits are not unheard of and a DM should feel free to set whatever monetary limit they deem appropriate (whether by rolling different dice or just setting a flat rate). If requesting the effects of a spell, the Wish should treat the value as the wisher hiring a spellcaster to cast the spell for them at the going rate of an average hirable spellcaster capable of casting the spell. If wishing for the death of an enemy, price it as if hiring a generic local assassin or mercenary capable and willing to take the job. If wishing for something like a house, the Wish should take into account current market prices. The wisher is not allowed to haggle the price determined by the magic of the Wish. The wisher is not allowed to haggle the price determined by the magic of the Wish, nor are they compensated for any difference in value between their Wish and the monetary limit of the spell if they wish for less than the spell is capable of granting.
Half Wish
A Half Wish is exactly what it sounds like. The wisher gets exactly half of what they wish for, but which half might be up in the air for a few minutes and may depend on the choice of the wisher. For example, if the wisher desires to marry the beautiful princess and live happily ever after, they might marry the princess and lead a miserable life, marry someone else and live a happy life, or become the princess's concubine or secret lover and live a mediocre life that's neither particularly happy nor miserable.
Monkey's Paw Wish
A Monkey's Paw Wish follows the wisher's wording to the letter, but it completely subverts the intent of the Wish. For example, an elderly couple wishes for wealth so that they can live their remaining years comfortably and then will the rest to their son. However, the Wish grants their request in such a way that the wealth comes about as a result of their son's death, thus they get exactly what they asked for but in a manner that prevents them from getting what they wanted.
When granting a Monkey's Paw Wish, a DM should feel free to be as cruel and sadistic as possible in twisting, subverting, or even outright ignoring the intent behind the Wish. Because that's what a Monkey's Paw Wish is all about.
Overkill Wish
Overkill Wishes are textbook examples of 'be careful what you wish for'. If you wish for a burger, you might end up with a literal mountain of food dumped on you. If you wish to be free of a magical effect, the Wish might drop an Antimagic field on you that is many miles in radius and set to last for a few hundred years. It gets the job done, sure, but if an Overkill Wish is ever granted without potential long-term problems, likely severe ones, the DM may not be doing their job right.
'True Desire' Wish
Wishes that purport to grant the wisher's true desire manifest in odd and sometimes nonsensical ways. They will fulfill the underlying intent of the Wish, but they will always completely and deliberately ignore the wording. For example, if someone wishes to marry well with the intent that the marriage will bring glory and honor to themselves and their homeland, the wish will manifest in a way that makes the desired marriage impossible, but still allows the character to gain glory and honor for themselves and their homeland.
Hard of Hearing Wish
Hard of Hearing Wishes try their best to fulfill the underlying intent of the wisher's request, but they have an annoying tendency to misinterpret the wording of the wish in the most hilarious ways. DMs, your only guideline for this should be 'do whatever is funny'.
Reversal Wish
Reversal Wishes can be extremely dangerous. At first they seem to grant the wisher's request as intended, but after a period of time (1d10 days, months, years, or DM's discretion), the effects of the wish are inverted. A wish for riches invariably ends in poverty and destitution, a wish for loyalty will likely end in betrayal and a wish for love may turn to hate, resentment, or the dreaded 'let's just be friends' talk. The DM has full discretion on what it means to invert the effects of the wish.